Making out on a date

PostAvailable9966 · 2026-01-19T16:50:19+00:00

It put unconcious pressure to her for sex, because she thinks if you meet again things will only move forward (and there is only sex left).

After she has cooled down from the excitement of the moment (in the date), this decision wont be in your favor most of the time.

[Same principle applies if she comes back and you do stuff, but dont end with sex]

The general wisdom, is unless you can bounceback, don't do much more than simple kissing.

Now the question to you: if this happening too often for you, why you are not focusing on logistics instead?

arturod8 · 2026-01-19T17:08:35+00:00

Just had the same happen to me, made out like crazy in my car, ghosted the next day

ghrinz · 2026-01-20T05:02:44+00:00

I don’t make out during the dates, never. Once she’s at my place, I do everything.

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2026-01-19T18:25:41+00:00

I think the problem with heavy make out sessions is that you are giving her too much too early and not crossing the finish line.

the heavy makeouts are making it seem like you are tyring to fuck right away and when you let the girl go, the next day she may realize "he's a good guy but i dont want something hot and heavy right away and those make outs clearly make it seem like we'd be fucking like rabbits for a few weeks". Girls dont care about getting sex as much as men because they know they can get a guy willing to fuck whenever. So on a date this girl might be going into it for a serious thing but if you two are just making out like some high school students and you dont seal the deal that night, odds are she may have time to think about it and realzie she doesnt want a hot and heavy thing. It's similar to a guy whose too nice and doesnt get girls. If you are there basically promising this girl the world the second you meet her, she will just end up ghosting you. But the guy that can treat her like anybody else, not give her too much too early and just gives her enough to keep her engaged and watnign more, gets the number, the date, etc.

So at the end of the date i just go "so should we get this out the way to see if we vibe well" then give her a mix between a peck and make out sesh. A peck is whatever and doesnt really create comfort or make her want more. So i try at least a lip lock and a few seconds of kissing. Something that will want her wanting more. Dont give her everything you got, give her enough to want more and if she wants more than you can tease her by saying something like "you gotta earn that". Dont have a make out session in the car or at the date. If you are at her place in the car, say something like "your lips feel amazing, id love to continue this in a more comfortable location". Then see if she'd suggest going upstairs or if she says "what were you thinking?" be like "my couch is pretty comfortable and i have a bottle of unopened wine?". Or something like that. If you think it's still too early to have sex and you dont think the date is headed there, then just give her something but not a whole makout session.

Like do you make any suggestions during these makeout sessions? Dont have a makeout session jsut because you want to brag to your bros like you did something. Slow and steady wins the race in these situations.

Yes_cummander · 2026-01-20T08:31:08+00:00

Multiple things are going on within the girl that make follow up harder.

Women experience emotions differen't then men. The moment passes and later they don't feel the way they felt in that moment when they were making out with you. You can try and make them feel like they felt through text or video or social media. A reminder that spikes their emotions and bring them back to that moment they where with you. But it works better before getting a date and not after the heavy make out sessions.

Another thing js the expectation to pick up where you left off. You can tackle this later by explicitly stating that you don't want that but just another fun date that starts at zero instead of 90.

Another thing is the effect that when sex didn't happen but it could've, women tend to tell themselves reasons why it didn't and then take that as an ultimate conclusion of you and her dating. Close but it didn't happen, it must've been for a reason(don't like him enough etc.) Sometimes you meet these women much later random at a party or with friends and all of a sudden you can hook up or pick up where you left off. Just not from planning another date.

Yet another thing is a heavy make out session can make it feel as if the man is too desperate. Being the first to stop the kiss, to say that's all you're getting for now actually make you the prize and something to want and look forward to. Not something you can easily get.

ItsGmanTime · 2026-01-20T05:38:04+00:00

Making out with a girl on a date without sleeping with her is an advanced move. I wouldn't recommend it unless you know what you're doing.

You're right that you should only do it when you're not taking them home or there's a reason you can't sleep with them that night.

If you do it, you should get heavy, stop as she's getting horny, and make it clear to the girl that you're stopping by saying something like "Not tonight" or "I don't want to rush this." That way she knows that you want to go further but are stopping yourself, which is attractive to a girl. Then act like it's normal and end the date.

Otherwise, she might get the sense that you're either scared to escalate to sex or that you're desperate.

Again, this is an advanced move. The safer play is to only escalate to kissing back at your place.

S-Tier_Commenter · 2026-01-19T20:03:10+00:00

I always feel the pressure to go in for a kiss asap, but notice this is probably due to being anxious for a bit of validation.

But it works best to simply not go in for a make out, and let her anticipation simmer for as long as it takes until you get her into bedroom distance.

In the meantime, you can tease her. Tell her "give me a kiss" and then it's just give her a little peck on the lips. Shows you to be grounded instead of needing that validation.

Available-Note-9652 · 2026-01-20T01:16:32+00:00

The goal should always be to escalate and go for the whole thing. If you make out with a girl and it doesn’t lead to sex she might be thinking “oh I kissed that guy but we didn’t have sex maybe I don’t like him that much. Or you could just be bad at kissing who knows.

The-inevitabl3 · 2026-01-19T22:24:49+00:00

How old are u?

MrTerno · 2026-01-21T00:39:06+00:00

I don’t know if there’s a right or wrong about this but I use heavy makeout only when logistics are in my favor (car, bathroom, house) if not I’m gonna give her small kisses to tease her to want the whole thing

Positive_Kale3930 · 2026-01-21T03:19:22+00:00

No PDA until youve slept with her. Minimal kissing, make her want more. Physical escalation hot and cold

Fayzzz96 · 2026-01-21T09:11:12+00:00

How did you do that on first meetup?

Certain_Process_7657 · 2026-01-21T14:45:59+00:00

A 10 min make out is pretty extensive. That pretty much implies you're at least getting to third base (oral) in the car. You should've tried to escalate further.

Overall agree that making out is good and most women love to kiss.

Dandys3107 · 2026-01-21T16:59:35+00:00

Yeah, I think it's the matter of releasing the tension, then girl's emotions go down significantly and there is also a pressure to push towards even deeper intimacy on your next meeting, which can be off-putting just by itself. If you want to make your relation more long term, you should keep the tension, create some interesting cliffhangers and mystery in your dynamics, leave things without conclusion and end your meeting a bit prematurely, make her wait for something, make her hungry for more.

Title	Making out on a date
Author	Inevitable-Pea-2201
Upvotes	54
Comments	26
Date	January 19, 2026 4:43 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1qh9ai6/making_out_on_a_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/making-out-on-a-date.1571538 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571538

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