I’m a 20 year-old college student. I’m pretty disciplined with my lifestyle, I go to the gym regularly, lift heavy, eat clean, and stay in good shape. Because of that (and probably my age), my drive is high and I tend to feel strong physical attraction very quickly.

In one of my elective classes (students from different departments), I noticed a new girl. The first time I saw her, I felt an instant, almost primal attraction. She was fit, confident, dressed in gym style leggings, and overall I’d say a solid 7/10.

One day I entered the class late. She was sitting in the front row, and as I walked past her to the back, we held eye contact for a few seconds. That stuck with me.

Next class, I decided I’d approach her. My plan was to talk to her once class ended, while everyone was walking out. When the class ended, I was extremely nervous, but I forced myself to walk up to her from the side. She was with her friends, so I said, “Hey, what’s your name?” She told me. Then I asked her friends, “Can I borrow her for a couple of minutes?” They said yes.

Honestly, the conversation was bad. Very dry, maybe 2–3 minutes long, no real connection, no vibe. Still, we exchanged Instagram and went our separate ways.

After class, I went to the gym and told my friend that I had finally approached the girl I’d been eyeing. Later that night, I checked Instagram and saw that she had unfollowed me but kept me as a follower. My mind started making excuses, maybe her friends influenced her, maybe it was accidental, etc.

I remembered she had once mentioned being late to class because of karate practice, so after a few hours I DM’d her: “Hey karate kid.” No reply. Not even seen. After that, I unfollowed her.

Looking back, I realized the main issue: I didn’t build any emotional or conversational connection. If I’m being honest with myself, my attraction was almost entirely physical, and I probably gave off the vibe that I just wanted to hook up. She likely sensed that, and it killed any interest she might’ve had.

That was my first cold approach.

My second approach was also in college, with a batchmate. I complimented her, and she said she’s been in a committed relationship for the past 4 years. I replied, “Take it as a compliment,” and walked away. After my 2nd approach my friends kept teasing me,”rejected by fat ass” while they didn’t approach any women in their life, and making fun of me but deep inside i know what i did , takes guts. Felt good, courageous and also sad at the same time. Just have to do it more.