Need some real, ACTUAL pointers for getting more Second Dates.

NoRefrigerator4969 · 2024-04-12T21:13:18+00:00

“She’s doing most of the talking”

Means she’s carrying the date and you’re being too boring. You need to lead, escalate, change venues, go for the close.

SnooHesitations4922 · 2024-04-12T22:17:03+00:00

When a girl says she didn't feel a connection, she is actually telling you there was no spark.

"Spark" is polarity.

You have to take note of the girl's behavioral traits that are pleasing to you, because these same traits coming from you will either kill the spark or not generate it at all.

If she is kind and sweet to you, be an ass. If she is humble, be cocky. If she is smart, talk stupid nonsense. The crooked grin that comes on your face when you do this tells both you and the girl it's working.

Whatever you like about her, be the direct opposite because you are the opposite gender.

Men and women are supposed to go together as easy and effective as salt and pepper, being polarizing is how you do that...it makes it clear you are talking to her as a woman and not a friend.

lIIl0lIIl0lIIl · 2024-04-12T20:44:57+00:00

Be more polarizing. You’re probably just sitting there being boring.

videogames_ · 2024-04-13T06:42:37+00:00

Did you make a move and kiss her? I find that not trying to kiss a girl puts you into the friend zone in a lot of cases. This may be different for some women that prefer more dates before kissing and sex in general but I find majority of women on online apps want you to sexualize and polarize asap once she’s comfortable. You’re making her laugh maybe too much like a friend rather than a date.

ClitPlayaBootySlappa · 2024-04-12T22:52:58+00:00

2 questions

Do you think you acted in anyway different on these dates than what her male friends or gay friends would act around her?

And If a woman you did not find attractive behaved the same way you did on your dates, towards you, would you be turned on/sexually aroused enough to want to sleep with her?

Cactus2711 · 2024-04-12T23:34:13+00:00

None of us can give you ACTUAL pointers because we weren’t there to see how the interactions went. You’re also way too vague with your descriptions, which tells me you’re not reading these women well enough and actually analysing what’s happening with the depth that you need to be

Affectionate-Ant4888 · 2024-04-12T23:34:20+00:00

Any suggestions? Cause this is killing me...

bro learn from the best, the code has been cracked already, go read the game by neal strauss, that's a good starting point, then get on the web to discuss, but maybe consider that first.

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-04-12T20:52:13+00:00

You are trying too hard to get them in bed making them and their sex the PRIZE. Once a woman senses that you are making her a prize or a trophy that you have to win, she knows she's above you and loses all interest.

STOP TRYING SO HARD.

Here is your new mission. Sit down and write a very detailed list of what you want and what type of woman you want. What she looks like, what she does for a living, her education level, how she behaves, talks, what her interests are, is she a party girl, good girl, etc Write it all out.

Then start going on dates NOT to get laid, but to DETERMINE if the woman you are meeting MEETS your criteria. Start interviewing women, stop trying to fucking touch them. If she touches you then touch her slightly but stop fucking putting your hands on women like some desperate pick up artist.

WhatHadHappenedWas · 2024-04-12T20:59:17+00:00

Is she laughing on these dates? Do you tease her every once in a while? How confident do you feel?

saulisdating · 2024-04-13T11:31:33+00:00

If she didn’t “feel a connection” then most of the time it means there was no sexual tension between you two.

Sometimes this can mean no emotional connection. But after being on several thousand dates, I can safely say it’s mostly about sexual tension.

TripleDigitNomad · 2024-04-13T13:26:34+00:00

She does the majority of talking

I don't know how much of a majority you're referring to, but it should be something like 60/40. You should still be sharing things about yourself too so that rapport can be built.

I escalate physically with arm and back touches

This isn't vital. What is is being fun and playful in your conversation. This means teasing, making her laugh, etc. Make the conversation interesting, not an interview.

hugs to start off and finish the date

To start, yes. To finish, no. You should be aiming to pull at the end of the date, not just getting a hug. And if she isn't down to come to yours at the end of it, then you should be going for the kiss. If you're just hugging her, she's not going to feel any kind of spark with you.

Read this and this.

3RADICATE_THEM · 2024-04-14T03:00:38+00:00

How long do your first dates last typically?

president_at_gmails · 2024-04-12T20:21:24+00:00

I didn't feel a connection

means I didn't feel a dick in my pussy / tongue in my mouth in your case.

Epiphanic_Eros · 2024-04-12T20:21:22+00:00

Do YOU feel like there’s a connection? I’m rarely surprised if I get rejected after a date, because it’s clear there’s not mutual chemistry.

komot · 2024-04-12T21:00:29+00:00

Aside from other comments. You may want to review the type of women you're matching and if they are for you.

DaygameCode · 2024-04-12T22:52:30+00:00

Escalating physically means you reach the kissing part. Being physical without a kiss is like you didn’t escalate at all. Hugs are for friends. Make it a rule that you never hug a woman you are in a date with, you either go for a kiss or forget it.

Same as “back touches or arm touches” that’s nothing if it doesn’t lead to a kiss. That’s like a robotic move, which has no effect on its own. Touching needs to lead somewhere intimate. Otherwise it just comes across as a friendly move at most or she might not even process it at all.

Talking should be about emotional things and sharing how you feel about things, not discussing sports, politics, or career decisions. Touch her heart (emotionally speaking), sweet talk to her, make her feel emotions.

UnderstandingEvery44 · 2024-04-13T05:08:45+00:00

Sounds like you’re thinking too much man just be yourself and if they like you you’ll get a second date

Source: married for 7 years

Title	Need some real, ACTUAL pointers for getting more Second Dates.
Author	FirstPoopyLastPeepee
Upvotes	14
Comments	27
Date	April 12, 2024 8:04 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1c2it3z/need_some_real_actual_pointers_for_getting_more/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-some-real-actual-pointers-for-getting-more.1514886 https://theredarchive.com/post/1514886

Comments