Opinions on dating coaches.

seduction-ModTeam · 2025-03-30T12:16:02+00:00

This post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #5: The topic is too broad, has been covered a lot already, or involves the assumption overly limited by race, age, physical limitations/appearance, and/or other inborn external qualities.

Put in some reading & work before asking questions that have been addressed, like: * How do I approach? * How do I get a number? * How do I talk to girls at college? * How/When do I kiss a girl? * Does this really work?

As for the last one, it is an answered question. There have been many posts on physical limitations over the years, including this one. No need to re-ask it.

Mefick · 2025-03-30T03:56:40+00:00

I've already bought about 3 courses on seduction. And they've all helped me a lot and are still helping me.

I've never paid for a coach to have in-person consultations, in fact, I don't think there are any in my city. But in any case, taking courses has worked out really well for me.

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-03-30T04:13:44+00:00

I’m sure it depends on the coach but I’m sure the right coach could help a lot. Main thing being they could look at you as an individual and know what your individual weak points. Compared to guessing on your own

BurnItDownSR · 2025-03-30T08:36:21+00:00

If you already have the balls to go out regularly and actually make time for this then dating coaches are amazing.

As in spending a few months going out 3 to 4 times a week approach 3-5 girls each day you go out.

And I'm saying it's about balls because most inexperienced guys can manage going out one time and even approaching 15+ girls that day, but they will likely need a week or even a month to "recover" from all that social pressure they experienced.

If you just sit at home for a month exaggerating how stressful that was for you & you keep making excuses for why you can't go out again then that's like doing 15 sets on an exercise in the gym and then not going back for a month. It doesn't improve shit for you.

There's 2 common types of programs, weekend programs and long term coaching programs.

Weekend programs are usually live and if you're working with a good coach you might even get farther in that weekend than you've gone in your whole life.

But the thing is, that will be 90% because of him. Because he's in your ear the whole time and because he's the one orchestrating situations.

Without him you're basically the same person who just happened to get some action one time.

He will teach you everything you need to know to get back to that level but that won't mean anything if you're not constantly practicing it.

Weekend programs are basically like being able to surf because the instructor gives you easy waves, tells you exactly when to do what, and pushes the board for you at the right time so you don't have to paddle. On your own you still won't be able to do shit unless you have the discipline to regularly practice.

Long term coaching, especially nowadays is usually online and guess what, they're just gonna have you go straight into regular practice.

And they won't be physically present to force you to take action. And since it's on your phone, you can just mute them when you're feeling particularly cowardly. You'll have to have the discipline on your own.

And if you don't, you're basically just pissing away thousands of dollars per month.

People in the coaching market usually have this delusion that the coach will magically give them balls and discipline, when in reality, the balls and discipline part is up to you, he's only there to train you on the skills to be awesome with women.

Its like a boxer. If you don't have the discipline to go to practice and grind day in and day out then it won't matter even if your coach is Freddy Roach or Floyd Mayweather Sr., you won't achieve anything.

So if you still approach just one girl a month or something then coaching is not for you. Gotta be approaching 10+ girls a week on your own before you can benefit from getting a coach.

MysteryLiezer · 2025-03-30T04:03:47+00:00

Wingmen are far more effective!

AssistTemporary8422 · 2025-03-30T04:40:46+00:00

Its better to consume free content that coaches have provided and get plenty of experience talking to women. These courses don't have anything you can't find online for free. What is super helpful is to find someone who can see you in action and give you valuable third person feedback. So find a wing. After all this the one case a coach can really help is if you hit a rut, you found a coach you like and have a good reputation, and they can observe you in action and give you pointers.

StrikingImportance39 · 2025-03-30T04:19:10+00:00

When it comes to coaches they can help u in these areas:

PUA Content/theory/knowledge or whatever u want to call it. The interesting thing that u don’t need theory in order to practise. U still can approach, date women without knowing all seduction stages, what is shit test and many more. But it does help.
Motivation. When u are on your own it’s hard to approach. Lots of anxiety. But when u are with coach he can give u motivation boost to break that barrier. In addition when u see him approaching and getting numbers u know that it’s possible.
Feedback. This is the most important. They can tell exactly what u are doing wrong. On your own self reflection takes lots of time. But with them it’s very fast. However, the only drawback is that they can give that feedback for first stage of seduction. But dating is not just getting a number, is going on the date, bringing her back, having sex etc. And if they don’t see that then all advantage of training in person is gone.

Everything can be done without coach.

The basics of PUA content u can find online for free. Same with body language, sales tactics, fashion and any other aspect u look to improve. Paying for information in this age is just stupid.
Motivation u can get by finding like minded person. Who wants to do the same thing. U can then push each other to approach.
Feedback u can do on your own by self reflecting on approaches. Keep diary, write every conversation. Try different things next time.

Overall. Dating coaches are the scam. Their services are not worth the money. They use men’s desperation to look for intimacy to enrich themselves. It’s pathetic.

lonehawktheseer · 2025-03-30T05:08:26+00:00

It's great when they tell you to go all out during sex

Western-Month-3877 · 2025-03-30T05:25:12+00:00

Most knowledge (about seducing and approaching) are free online. Even in this sub.
Apart from knowledge, it’s also about skills. As a matter of fact, I would say skills are far more important than knowledge even tho the 2 are not mutually exclusive / they complement each other. You can have all the knowledge if you read most advices and suggestions here, but if you never implement them on the field it just doesn’t mean shit. On the other hand there are guys out there who have no idea about PUA courses and seminars but they are pretty decent at approaching women by learning it from trial and error.

In regards of this issue, it’s always better to find a local coach instead of online. They can assist you in practice or let you shadow them. They can also show you how it’s done raw (unlike what you see online where most pickup videos are pretty much edited or only the successful ones were posted).

Most PUA’s prices are highly inflated. If you need to buy thousands of dollars of courses, they better be doing it one on one with you. But in reality they will put you together in the same class/workshop/seminar with other guys who likely have different level of social skills from you. Imagine you want to learn how to approach women in real time while you know your social skills are good enough, but the other guys in the same class don’t even know how to talk to a stranger in general, let alone approaching an attractive woman. Your money is basically subsidizing them and you’re also wasting most of your time.

norwegiandoggo · 2025-03-30T05:51:41+00:00

A bad coach can make you worse. A good coach can make you better. But at that early stage where you're clueless - it's impossible to know the difference.

FKaria · 2025-03-30T08:43:31+00:00

I never used one, but I think if you feel you are very behind and have a lot of work to do, is good to get some help. You should be doing 90% of the work by yourself still but good to have like a once a week call or follow up with a coach.

Plastic_Friendship55 · 2025-03-30T10:00:24+00:00

Find a coach who offers advice for free. They want you to have success because they know how it feels.

Coaches charging you are only in it for the money and will tell you whatever you want to hear

Auckboy · 2025-03-30T11:16:49+00:00

Dating coaches are a great idea if you’re getting stuck with certain things

becomesharp · 2025-03-30T05:24:03+00:00

Let me attempt to answer this question for you as unbiased as I can.

So right off the bat, full transparency, I'm a coach, and I've been a coach for almost 20 years so feel free to take this with a grain of salt.

But before I was a coach, I was a student, and as a student, I worked with a LOT of coaches and took a lot of boot camps so I know the industry well from both sides of the table.

This is the advice that I wish someone had told me when i was first getting started.

Some of the coaches I worked with were so bad that I got worse from listening to them. Other coaches shaved YEARS off of my learning curve in a single night of working with them. One of my first good coaches was a guy named Sinn and he gave me feedback in one night that would have taken me 1-2 years to figure out through trial-and-error and i was SO grateful for that.

So is getting a coach worth it? It HEAVILY depends.

The variables to consider are:

Is the coach good? Is he experienced? How long has he been coaching? Does he actually know how to approach himself or does he just write books on amazon? Does he give a shit about students? Does he know what he's talking about?

If he isn't good, he will make you WORSE, not better. I've had SO MANY students that were hurt by listening to bad coaches, and now i have to fix them. They would have been better off without a coach.

What kind of coaching is it?

Infield coaching is the gold standard, though not everyone can afford that or has it available to them. But you want to avoid one-size-fits-all coaching. That's essentially worthless. You might as well read a book.

Does the coach have a dating life you would want to have?

If not, why are you learning from him?

How much time do you have relative to disposable income?

If you have a TON of time and very little money, then a coach is NOT worth it. Use the resource you do have (time) and do a ton of approaches and learn from each one of them. On the other hand, if you have disposable income but don't have 30+ hours a week to learn via trial-and-error, hiring a (good) coach will save you a TON of time.

Do you mesh well with the coach?

Do you resonate with his coaching style? Doesn't matter how good he is, if you don't work well with his style, he's not for you.

Is the coach similar enough to you to where he can understand your current struggles and knows how to fix them?

Don't hire a 6'2" jacked black coach from NYC if you're a short Indian man from Mumbai.

shinn497 · 2025-03-30T06:42:59+00:00

I have never paid for a coach but I think that they aren't that bad of an idea. Most of the people that criticize coaches don't criticize the effectiveness, they criticize the cost. If you have the money, then it can be worth it. I genuinely think the reason people can be so against them is because they themselves can't afford them and they are jealous that others can.

burncushlikewood · 2025-03-30T07:06:18+00:00

If you have the money...but be wary of a lot of these coaches, empty promises and unskilled with women. I always encourage men to take their journey by themselves, read, watch, and reflect.

neuropope · 2025-03-30T06:39:51+00:00

Therapists work better.

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2025-03-30T07:52:59+00:00

Just go out and talk to people I mean EVERYONE. Talking to people and improving means you become likeable and charismatic which makes women gravitate to you.

Title	Opinions on dating coaches.
Author	curious_meh
Upvotes	10
Comments	29
Date	March 30, 2025 3:49 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1jn44dw/opinions_on_dating_coaches/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/opinions-on-dating-coaches.1548062 https://theredarchive.com/post/1548062

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