regrets are hitting me hard

MadonatorxD · 2026-02-08T19:53:33+00:00

I have crazy FOMO too. I haven't done much in life while everyone around me are fucking everyone.

But I don't think about my past as much as I think about my present and future.

There is no way we can change our past, but do what you can to change your future.

What frustrates me is not my past, but the failures that I carry which makes me feel like even my future is going to be a reflection of my past.

But, at the end I am going to try- to a better present and a future. Good luck.

Friendly-Media4214 · 2026-02-08T19:55:01+00:00

You know I’m 43 and I had the most sexual experiences in my 30s and still doing it. I know it feels like you’re behind but you’re fine. You just need to keep trying and doing better every day. I do lose my virginity until I was 23 or 24.

Chilledshiney · 2026-02-08T20:18:44+00:00

Lowkey you’re getting way to in the head; woman have a far wider range of types they like than men; Besides dating is ultimately a numbers game, keep cool, approach: if she vibes with you then great else it no biggie.

I also suggest therapy or the gym to build up confidence and work on yourself

Matter_Still · 2026-02-08T20:47:13+00:00

It just takes one, the right one, to blow ALL the regrets out of the water.

I never coveted the girls my friends were sleeping with (unless it was one I was too shy to approach).

But they sure as hell were hot for the one I wound up after years in the wilderness. I hit a moonshot and as I said, the regrets turned to sand.

Back2theCouture · 2026-02-08T20:40:16+00:00

You will have the same regrets 10 years from now if you don’t do anything about it.

Seen guys talk about regrets but they prefer to get drown in it instead of getting out of it. Idk, maybe portraying themselves as a victim or a helpless person brings some certain cozy feelings to them.

I’d say the first thing you can act to become a man and a leader is by helping yourself. Love yourself first, get yourself out of that swamp of regrets. Then and only then you can be leading and assertive on other people, especially women.

I envy how easy it seems to be for everyone else

Not really. If some say it’s easy for them they’re lying to you. It seems easy because you only see the output/result. You don’t see the struggles. Just like when you see any success. People don’t like to tell you how much suffering they had to go thru before they finally changed their situation. But they love telling you the outcomes as if they are God’s favorite or at least different from others.

norwegiandoggo · 2026-02-08T19:50:22+00:00

Geez man. Just travel to Thailand. You'll lose your virginity in 2 weeks, tops.

AdventurousGrowth249 · 2026-02-08T22:28:09+00:00

Don't worry. You not a broken man. Just a man seeing life with the incorrect glasses. You need understand the women and get social skills. Get teraphy, and get image consultant or similar, and go gym if you don't. 3 things, and you life will change. I promise, i'm not joking, the women is not rocket science.

In this time is easy to have a woman, if you have "how to". You don't, ok, no one born learning. Just put your mind and your body good, and then you will see the women with the correct glasses.

BR.

ResentCourtship2099 · 2026-02-08T22:05:46+00:00

Well only men have to take action if they want to get anywhere in life women can get away with it

kingtechllc · 2026-02-08T21:54:09+00:00

At least you’re not 40

Historical-Text5845 · 2026-02-08T20:13:55+00:00

bro same position like you if you find any solution f9 tell me also

2_brainz · 2026-02-08T23:34:31+00:00

What is your profession? Are you in shape? Have you tried traveling abroad? Do you have positive male role models?

AttractionIntel · 2026-02-09T11:09:17+00:00

Don't be so hard on yourself. You're only 28 lol. You've got ALOT of time. Also, this is how most people start out, by going out and taking 0 action the first couple times.

That being said, mainly 3 reasons you can't get yourself to approach women:

This is an alien situation that your nervous system is not used to which is why it's so nerve wracking for you (just like it would be for a first-time skydiver)
you have negative assumptions about your approach will go (girl lashes out, people around will laugh at me, I'll be judged as weird/creepy, etc.)
Your past experiences shape how you look at talking to women. And if they've been not so pleasant lets say, you're going to anticipate a negative outcome even though that's not the case.

Crazy part is you'll be pleasantly surprised at how much of a big deal you made it out to be when you actually talk to a girl, because whether she reciprocates or doesn't, it doesn't change anything.

Also ngl, women def prefer tall men. That said, being short, 5'5 in your case, is def not a deal breaker.

Personally know a lot of short kings who get laid with hot girls. Bec girls respond to masculine presence and behavior over aesthetics.

At the end of the day, it's a matter of perception, willpower to push through and make it happen, and taking the necessary steps to level up.

Plenty of workarounds for your situation, no biggie.

Keepora · 2026-02-08T20:59:47+00:00

Well don’t wait until you’re 35 to start dating. At this age all it will be is damaged women and single moms. Only woman in the last year that wanted to date me had four kids man. FOUR kids with at least two different dads. I said fuck that. Not to mention every date you do get is a just a fuckin’ job interview at my age. No one dates to date for fun anymore it’s all. Pretty much all business at least that’s been my experience.

lovelearningloner · 2026-02-09T03:37:18+00:00

Regret is useless. If you don't like yourself why would anyone else like you? What would the most secure version of you be like? Act on that impulse.

MineDesperate2920 · 2026-02-09T04:51:09+00:00

Figure out now or stay a virgin forever. Only 2 options pick one

winning2323 · 2026-02-09T12:23:07+00:00

Start slow. Just say Hi to a woman and thats it. I lost my V card at 26 so i know how it feels.

Maybe talk to therapist.

Express_Two_3726 · 2026-02-11T23:10:31+00:00

I've talked to therapists and it didn't help my low confidence that I have from being verbally abused by my father. People say it's better to be single than a toxic relationship however I can't see that being anything close to destroying your self esteem as what happened during my upbringing. Sad I welcome any relationship at this point. Maybe I'll just switch my preferences on the dating sites to men and I'll have so many choices I can weed out the sickos and find a good partner to share basic human intimacy with. Man the dating scene is that sad here in the US I swear I'm not gay just want to be hugged and held. Yeah going to Thailand is probably the best move tbh.

Title	regrets are hitting me hard
Author	lfg141
Upvotes	63
Comments	36
Date	February 8, 2026 7:44 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1qzioun/regrets_are_hitting_me_hard/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/regrets-are-hitting-me-hard.1573049 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573049

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