Shoot your shot

letsgetrandy · 2020-05-27T03:16:36+00:00

Either way, I gave it a shot, got denied, and feel great. Now I don’t have to waste any time or effort on anything with her.

THIS!!! I can't say it enough times in this sub how much time is wasted on "what if" when a simple answer clears space in your mind to move on.

grack_slacker · 2020-05-27T04:25:30+00:00

Another overlooked benefit is that you’re now on her radar. Say that guy she’s talking to doesn’t workout she now sees you as a viable option. It’s happened to me a few times, I’ve asked a girl out and she denies me then comes back just a few months later.

ankleisbroke · 2020-05-27T03:48:30+00:00

Getting denied is the best then you get to obsess over a new person which can be exciting again

ItsMachu · 2020-05-27T02:25:06+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ILovemigos1234 · 2020-05-27T02:21:07+00:00

I feel like I wasted a lot of opportunities with women by being to big of a pussy. I always regret and hate myself when I see a cute girl and bitch out knowing I’ve had a chance. A few of the girls I’ve had relationships with started off with me initiating conversation, but as I grew up anxiety and depression took over my whole life and self esteem and now too scared to talk to women, and the ones I do hit it off with end up leaving because I get to emotionally attached. Sorry for the long comment I just had to vent, life sucks right now

ComplexProjection · 2020-05-27T11:52:26+00:00

Asking a date by text when you were chatting face-to-face with her earlier is not a demonstration of self-confidence. Next time, do it in live, you will be more attractive for it.

alikebabay · 2020-05-27T05:05:08+00:00

It feels soo good to be rejected for me now. Because anxiety due to uncertainty goes away. And when girl accepts, it becomes an upside.

7Saturn7Saturn7 · 2020-05-27T11:49:42+00:00

You should have asked her out during the positive interaction.

Over text or the internet you have a couple of disadvantages compared to in person. First you are judged more by your "on paper" self than your charisma and presence. "On paper" is basically like how high status and attractive of an Instagram account can you make. Unless you are a high level model/actor/athlete/musician who hasn't practiced game your presence and charisma (if you work on it) is probably orders of magnitude more attractive than you are on paper. Not saying that a girl you had positive interactions with will view you 100% this way but in person you can become nearly 100% your charisma, whereas afterwards she'll forget a bit and your hot guy resume will make up the difference. Second, humans have a natural tendency to view the problems with things before the upside. In person you can deal with this by handling her objections and misgivings as they come up, occupying her attention so she doesn't think of them, and selling the upside of going out with you. Over text she will naturally think of reasons why she shouldn't go out with you first, if one of these sticks in her mind as important it's game over.

Since you were having a positive interaction with her you should seed the way you are going to ask her out earlier in the interaction. For example ask "do you like x activity?" then when she says yes tell her a story about x then say you really want to do x again soon and try to get her to agree. Then around 3/4 of the way into the interaction say something like "I have a (place to do x) that I really need to show you" then talk up the place and why she in particular would like it then make date plans. If you've established a man to woman context it should be clear that this is a date, but if you're newer you could just say it's a date. Then at the end confirm your plans. Try to make it the soonest time that will work since then less can go wrong in the interim.

You can still do all this if you see her again since like I said in person interaction strongly overrides text and online. You don't even need to mention your prior attempt and she probably won't bring it up if you are having a good interaction.

roadtoretention · 2020-05-27T11:41:39+00:00

Exactly. Even when you don’t get the number or rejected it’s STILL a W for you because most guys don’t have the balls to ask out or even approach. Keep shooting my brotha!

addy16a2 · 2020-05-27T04:44:48+00:00

Well don't think too much about her now, that'll be detrimental. Focus your energy somewhere else, or on someone else where it'll be worthwhile. Good luck

nilmadhab1 · 2020-05-27T05:04:36+00:00

When that happens I feel like shit. When I am really into a girl, I let her know, and she does not reciprocate back, I feel terrible. Is this because I have confidence issue? I am just starting out. Will it improve over time?

Goruto1334 · 2020-05-27T11:07:13+00:00

I’m literally incapable of this. I can talk to any girl no problem but escalating to asking them out will never be something I can do. So you are a better man than I, sucks to have a broken brain

cacknibbler · 2020-05-27T13:49:12+00:00

Amen to that, I’ve always been scared of rejection that I didint do anything, I talked myself into approaching a girl and got her number and a great conversation out of it... turned out she had a boyfriend but I still felt great for trying.

diamondchewtoy · 2020-05-27T15:07:13+00:00

I love this!!!! I got out of a LTR and met someone a couple months later, now we are dating and I am so in love I couldn’t be happier. Met on a dating app how crazy. I am happy for you king

mejakejohnson · 2020-05-27T16:48:32+00:00

Really great post, reminds me of the chapter from Mark's book on polarisation. Rejections and denials are actually things that support you and not the contrary because that means you're not wasting more time than necessary and even if you got them to say yes by manipulating, it'll still end bad. Taking rejection as a not so bad thing goes a long way

usedtimecapsule · 2020-05-27T20:19:24+00:00

Rejection is always better than regret.

I’m young but I’m single af and I have like 2 big regrets from high school when it comes to women. If only I just asked them out instead of being a pussy I probably would’ve had my first girlfriend at 15 or 16.

FinalPush · 2020-05-27T08:58:02+00:00

I have a caveat that I learned after just getting. turned down constantly (and never entering a relationship). Shoot your shot not because you envision some awesome cool relationship! shoot your shot because you like, no, love them!

bigcrescendoMUT · 2020-05-27T09:13:58+00:00

The worst is when you ask them to go out on a certain date and they postpone it and it never ends up happening...

Great_Praetor_Kass · 2020-05-27T09:25:24+00:00

I know! But this is the worst part! I want, but still I'm too scared. :(

Frebaz · 2020-05-27T12:42:46+00:00

Don’t shit where you eat. Learn from the mistakes of others.

Xazax310 · 2020-05-27T13:28:03+00:00

Great article I read by Mark Manson (models) on his website about 7 different things to achieve life success (Not just in dating but life). My personal favorite was "What's your flavor of shit sandwhiches?". After going around doing the same as you asking various girls out(getting denied) cold approaching and not getting much, or having some serious nerve racking moments. Those are all Shit-sandwhiches we have to eat to get what we want.

AgreeableHelicopter2 · 2020-05-27T13:48:57+00:00

This is why I'm kinda straying away from social circle game as a whole because it's simply a "value delivery system"

Still good for you op!

njugiste · 2020-05-27T14:16:42+00:00

It doesn't happen to the best of us.

iFunnyPrince · 2020-05-27T14:29:09+00:00

This is definitely the mindset I'm aiming for, but I have a question - what should you say when you get rejected? I'm not worried about the act of being rejected, but my mind goes blank if it happens to me and I usually just awkwardly change the subject :/

3iiis · 2020-05-27T15:13:54+00:00

the intent of what you say is one of the most important things.

thecage2122 · 2020-05-27T17:11:13+00:00

Awesome bro good job!!

lolopolo999 · 2020-05-27T17:56:34+00:00

I know dude ,I feel the same way. that way I know that I gave my best and I succeeded in what I had to do.

relic127 · 2020-05-28T09:31:49+00:00

How did you get her number in the first place?... i work in hospital as well, hooked up with several nurses. Some single, some married and some in relationships. I always ask them out first before i get their number. Dont get me wrong, there been several nurses (nurses who only date "doctors" or "rich men") who given me bitchy, stuck up attitude. But i always brush it off and move on, i never let it get to me... from my experience by her telling you that you are a nice guy, it shows she is not interested. But i can be wrong.

mr_Tobbor · 2020-05-27T08:45:13+00:00

First: This doesn't count as an approach. Second: What is your past (history) with women? (Approaches, seductions, sex).

Title	Shoot your shot
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	538
Comments	85
Date	May 27, 2020 2:15 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/graunh/shoot_your_shot/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/shoot-your-shot.1496332 https://theredarchive.com/post/1496332

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