Context: I've spent years intellecualizing myself as a victim (how to repel people 101). When I started to check r/seduction, the quantity of sexy tips overwhelmed me a bit. Here is a distillation of foundational advice from this subreddit that helped me the most, along with things I learned by making many embarrassing mistakes.

  • Reading signals and "playing the game" are great skills and all, but the thing that has consistently gotten me laid is honesty. Be honest with both yourself and others about your intentions: when you're interested in a person, when you do or don't like something. Be direct.

  • Pursue your own hobbies first and look for people you can have a conversation with. Wait until the end of the date before you ask if they want to fool around. The person deserves to know that you prioritize their company over getting your dick wet. Most people will be flattered that you find them attractive, even if they aren't interested in that way.

  • If they accept, don't change your behavior. One yes does not equal unconditional consent. You can still come on too strong after you establish mutual attraction, even though boundaries have shifted.

  • Rejection is inevitable and good. If anything, it's an opportunity to strengthen the friendship by demonstrating that you have a cool head when you don't get what you want.

  • Dating functions not just to test chemistry, but also to screen for the ability to respect personal boundaries and exercise discretion. Most people aren't prudes. They like to get freaky, they're just skilled at compartmentalizing.

  • Most importantly: take care of yourself, especially in terms of hygene. People can tell how well you do that.