"Stop thinking about relationships for a while, just try to be friends with girls using the same criteria you use when making friends with other boys ... If something's there it'll happen naturally." What are your guys' thoughts on this?

-Redfish · 2012-10-16T02:30:44+00:00

I agree that it doesn't hurt to be friends with girls. However just from my personal experience I find that if you don't establish signals of initial interest such as flirting, kino, etc. then usually it becomes very difficult for a girl to see you in a romantic/sexual light. essentially i agree with the poster

puaCurveBall · 2012-10-16T16:08:21+00:00

I think this is terrible advice.

If this one true, then seduction wouldn't even be a topic to study.

You don't fuck your guy friends, and coming from a friendship frame with women does not build sexual attraction.

Freevoulous · 2012-10-16T09:11:26+00:00

this whole tread can be summarised as: BE A HONEST GOOD PERSON. DO NOT ACT LIKE A SELFISH PRICK, AND EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT IN THE END.

readonlyuser · 2012-10-16T10:24:21+00:00

This advice isn't useful for guys who are getting started and needy.

gzupan · 2012-10-16T01:40:29+00:00

Its a great quote. Typically, sex has not connection to driving a potential relationship, experience and chemistry does. Thats why we all, for the most part, are ok with moving on after a short time with a relationship based on sex.

I have personally, been working on the aspect of this quote more so now than ever. I have to problem getting the number and even moving it to sex. When you don't create a relationship based on friendship then relationship will be doomed from the start. It never hurts to be friends with girls, even though you may you would screw them in a heart beat.

The advantage to having girls as friends is that you as a perceived threat greatly diminishes ie social proof. Your attraction when girls see you handling yourself around other girls as a friend allows more opportunity for you to push into a possible relationship. However, this never works if you are there trying to screw and be through. There is always an element of being genuine that is important. But usually guys that come off fake are dismissed from that friendship anyway. Girls are natural sociologists.

derekonomy · 2012-10-16T04:23:51+00:00

I half agree. I don't think he meant you to take it too literal and extreme. Give her the same respect as a friend. But don't treat her as a bro.

-Redfish · 2012-10-16T07:44:53+00:00

I've been thinking about this over the last couple of hours, and the biggest issue I have with it, is that it could potentially cut some guys off of the sex that they need to progress in their dating lives. Having sex can be a hugely therapeutic act for would-be seducers to become better with women. I know for myself, that when I started to get laid regularly, I got less needy, and my results with women progressed much faster. Contrast this with times when I was in a dry-spell (for many reasons out of my control) where the longer I went without sex, the needier for it I got, and the harder time I had attracting women, until I dropped my standards (significantly) just to get back in the rhythm of things.

HorseLifer · 2012-10-16T03:30:47+00:00

Agreed, I find that the best relationships are built from long-term friendships (doesn't have to be platonic)

When people rush into relationships it typically results in them putting unrealistic standards for their partner to live up to

squarehouse · 2012-10-16T05:51:21+00:00

Pretty much.

I've been thinking lately, and there are a couple of threads on /r/askwomen that have given me things to chew on.

Here we talk about cold approach, and it seems that the majority of women really want a warm approach. So I think the point of the first phase of game is to make a cold approach that feels to the target like a warm approach. Just don't beta yourself in the process.

leodoestheopposite · 2012-10-16T16:45:11+00:00

It sounds good, the problem I have is that it leaves the power to the other party, the woman, and if will often lead to begin friendzoned.

What if you do befriend a girl, all the girls that you are interested in, and make it clear that you are interested in them, escalating the flirting and the kinoing as you spend time in activities that are restricted to the two of you, letting things escalate naturally to the point where the flirting becomes overtly sexually and the kino goes way past the point of ripping each other's clothes off. Still without thinking about relationship or anything, just two friends have some consensual adult naked fun, repeatedly, and for an extended period of time.. weeks, months, years...

UnapologeticalyAlive · 2012-10-16T19:59:17+00:00

Sounds like chick advice.

The first phrase is correct. Stop thinking about relationships as an end unto themselves. A relationship is what happens when you're banging the same girl on a regular basis and you decide you like her so much you don't wanna bang any other girls. When you meet a girl you find attractive, you shouldn't be thinking right away that you want a relationship with her. First you have to get to know her. But don't make her your friend either unless that's all you ever want her to be. You have to be assertive and flirt with the girl if you ever want to be sexually involved with her.

PUAdept · 2012-10-17T04:38:41+00:00

Passive dating only works if you are extroverted and very patient. Most guys who achieve success with it aren't interested in seduction.

Dorman010 · 2012-10-16T20:47:37+00:00

As usual, puaCurveball hit the nail right on the head. The key part in his reply is:

You don't fuck your guy friends, and coming from a friendship frame with women does not build sexual attraction.

The entire idea of "boy meets girl, they become friends, girl is hurt by insensitive asshole and falls to the open arms of the nice guy", is pure fantasy. Friendships do not lead to sexual attraction in 99.999999999% of the cases.

Of course, the flip side is not thinking about being in a relationship. That is the only part of the OP's quote that I found somewhat agreeable, as it hinted at the basic concept of result independence (i.e. you're out there to have a good time, getting laid is just a nice plus), but that's a completely different debate.

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