The reality is different

why_downvote_facts · 2013-06-14T12:50:51+00:00

As a guy getting nowhere because I keep reading too much, I kinda agree. and also lots of openers here seem forced and pathetic like they could never work. Maybe it could be summed up as get confidence, actually approach, learn what didn't work.

WorkThrow99 · 2013-06-14T16:11:18+00:00

Look kid, it's like any other craft or hobby.
There are some people who learn by doing, there are some people who learn mostly by reading, and never develop skills in other ways than mimicking. Learning to learn by yourself is a skill in itself, and by saying that the only way to learn is by doing, you are just ostracizing a huge group of people.

People who can learn by themselves, they are already learning by themselves. They don't browse places where there a lot of theory, so you won't see them in here as much. Of course the people in here are going to be more of the theoretical kind of people, all you're doing with a post like that is making them feel like they're doing it wrong. They aren't doing it wrong per se, they just are doing it in another way. Of course it might not be the most efficient, from your point of view, but it's also possible that it's the most efficient way for them. What good is it if a guy follows your advice, and burns itself out because he doesn't have a thick enough skin yet? He'll give up, and that ain't efficient at all. (For reference, see MGTOW.)

It's like maths, there are applied maths, and theoretical maths. Some people are happy running a lot of data and doing few concrete experiments. Of course if their expectations don't match, they'll get frustrated, but not everyone has it in themselves to be "an opening machine that shrugs shit off all the time" and saying that discards the whole "people be human, yo" part of it. Guys have feelings too.

With that being said, actual pickup is applied seduction, not theoretical seduction. But you have to understand that, for some people, using the theory is going to work way better than "just trying". Not everyone develop skills the same way, and not everyone has the same end goals and it's okay. I know you wanted to help, but bro, don't take seduction so seriously or with such a narrow view.

ltkernelsanders · 2013-06-14T16:12:01+00:00

I'm somewhat of a natural and one of the biggest things that I press on my friends who don't understand how I sleep with such attractive women without trying, is that the reason I do is that I don't try. I am not anywhere near the most attractive guy they could be with, and I'm not saying I have the "ultimate game" and can pickup chicks at the bar every night, but I talk to them like a human being and I don't put up with their bullshit. They know I'll walk away because I don't care that they're hot. People in general can tell when you're trying too hard to make them like you and it's not attractive, to women or people you want to be friends with. I have friends who go out and hit on chicks every night, which is what you have to do to become natural at it sometimes. You have to talk to people and understand how people interact, not just women either, people in general, that's why so many PUAs stress talking to everyone. What's it going to hurt to have more friends? A chick doesn't want to sleep with you? Don't get all pissy, friendzone her and let her hook you up with her friends, some people just don't click. Constantly be moving in a positive direction, life isn't obligated to be good for you, you have to make it good.

VMikeL · 2013-06-14T11:39:37+00:00

I'm not sure what the point of this is. I agree with you in some regards, there are some people here who say some very profound things that have 0 basis in reality or truth, but... This is a large post that tries to declare gospel on a narrow section of pick up.

If I am not working a room, which ever set I engage is mine, and I rarely ever get rejected because of how I approach, and how I engage groups. I am not alone in this, I have a friend who has developed in a similar matter, and having seen talks from Richard "Gambler" La Ruina, he does fine on his own, with his approaches too. What you are saying has value, but it doesn't apply to everyone.

2013-06-15T03:44:46+00:00

I can only agree with you. Of course with those game/dance tactics you can force a girl at some point, but why would you? Guys, if its gonna happen, it will and does happen totally naturally. A few weeks ago, when i was on holiday i just bumped into a random girl, perfect chemistry, we just couldnt let the hands from each other. Once the spark is there, your body will take control, and you will automaticly do the right thing. The only thing you need, is yourself. All you need to do is, act. Just act. And keep acting, try and try and try and try and try and try.

Freevoulous · 2013-06-14T16:28:05+00:00

"3.Stop asking uber-specific questions "

STOP giving generic, nonspecific advice! You are not some kind of a religious guru OP, nor a motivational speaker. We come here for technical advice, because seduciton is a practical skill, just like fixing your car, or shaving.

CfromNZ · 2013-06-14T12:33:48+00:00

So basically, there are no 'rules', you can use normal social interactions or whatever, just stick to the basics like push-pull to keep the relationship exciting, but do whatever suits the personality you want yourself as a confident and glass half full human being.

Personally I don't have the effort to memorise openers and studying these routines, I think the best way to learn is just field work where practise makes perfect. Once you overcome approach anxiety and it gets numb to the point that you are capable with speaking with anyone you think will spark interesting conversation(normally what you want), you are a winner.

Once you obtain the social skills and you make enough effort to be social, your social skills and confidence good enough to make girls comfortable when talking to you, you can still be in a long term relationship and make every girl want you, making your significant other feel jealous, which is always great for maintaining a relationship - as long as you maintain faithful of course, unless you want to become a Neil and have a designated day for each of your 7 girlfriends.

whomeverIwishtobe · 2013-06-14T15:59:05+00:00

What I got out of this is there are no rules, play the numbers game and approach everyone. Also have outcome independence and hone your natural game (which you develop in field).

Clitorization · 2013-06-14T17:21:17+00:00

Just be natural when you speak, otherwise in the same way women can notice when a man is insecure or unconfident, they can notice when they aren't being natural. We don't want to have a "robot" conversation, things in the conversation must flow naturally, and so, we just need to have the power to improvise and that comes with experience. So, I think as any other subject, if you want to be good at it you'll have to practice, it's like trial and error. Experience is, in my opinion, the key; It's true that you need the theory and it's important as well but make it 20% if all process and the others 80% to experience and training. To the majority it might be the most effective way to learn the game.

How many of we here only read about the game and never tried to practice what we learned? I think the most just read and hope to be in a lucky situation to talk to a girl and not the hard one: Approaching a girl in a club or other public place. I might be wrong, but this is the idea that stays in my mind since I started to frequent this sub.

reikai · 2013-06-14T22:59:03+00:00

:D STARCRAFT

This is really good.

sagelydrunk_sedditor · 2013-06-14T14:25:55+00:00

*edit: was not totally sauced when I wrote this comment.

pull-out-king · 2013-06-14T22:14:24+00:00

For 90% of guys, though, just going up and making a move is better than your rational alternative: doing absolutely nothing. Do it. Get the experience. Get rejected. Move on. Do that and you are ahead of the pack already.

I gotta keep reminding myself of this.

antagonistul · 2013-06-14T09:27:12+00:00

this. except working out is good for you. also men's rights movement are pathetic.

2013-06-14T15:51:00+00:00

Or by all means, do what it says in the self-help books, emulate Jeremy Piven, whatever. Fact is most girls have seen those tricks a thousand times, and that just means more for the rest of us.

Title	The reality is different
Author	sagelydrunk_sedditor
Upvotes	92
Comments	35
Date	June 14, 2013 8:21 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1gbshe/the_reality_is_different/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-reality-is-different.1353817 https://theredarchive.com/post/1353817

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