Tinder date conversation

iwantTRP · 2016-11-17T14:35:14+00:00

Firstly you need to be aware that this isn't a "Tinder date problem", it's a poor conversation skills problem.

Now I don't claim to be any better but you could start off by making statements rather than asking questions all the time so it doesn't feel like an interview. For e.g. you could say something like "I just got back from Paris, it was amazing" and the conversion should flow from there and she would probably share about where's she's been.

25sittinon25cents · 2016-11-17T13:43:09+00:00

just like any date keep it to hobbies, family, pets, and the like. stay away from RAPE: Religion, Addction, Politics, Ex partners

yat0 · 2016-11-17T13:32:58+00:00

I don't do any of that shit. I usually let them know before I meet them that I'll be at least hugging or kissing her when we meet.

I also let her know that I like making people awkward. So I'll hold eye contact and make it awkward on purpose. But that's because I find it hilarious, and that's why I do it. Do stuff you find fun. Talk about stuff you find fun. To be honest, just act like you already know them. Don't go into the boring questions such as:

*What do you do for a living ?

*Do you have any brothers or sister ?

I couldn't give less of a fuck about that. It usually tells nothing about the person anyway. Ask them about stuff you actually want to know. What their ideal job would be, why they aren't in that branche right now. What they would do with a million dollars. Tell her she looks like she's a good dancer. Have fun. It's just a fucking date. If it fucking blows that's okay and you move on. If you don't have a click, that's okay and you move on.

You're probably overthinking it.

Spaceman7Spiff · 2016-11-17T14:30:43+00:00

There was a PUA I watched years ago (Richard La Ruina I think) that had a tool for conversation. FORD: Family, Occupation, Recreation, Dreams. I find these topics to be good jumping off points for any conversation because you can be as shallow or deep as you or she wants to take it and it really gives you a comprehensive perspective on who she is as a person in a natural, non-interrogation style format.

I'm a deep conversationalist (mainly from years of being stuck in my head) so I like to take "dreams" more into the realm of "drive." What drives her? What makes her sun rise and set? If you can get a girl to take you to a place that personal, it will open up a lot of other doors for you.

Blownshitup · 2016-11-17T20:09:15+00:00

I use tinder all the time, I probably fuck 3-4 different girls a week from it. Every time I start a conversation I just say hey what are your plans tonight? And invite them to whatever I may be doing. If that means im going to eat I say come join me for sushi and drinks. If im just sitting at home I'll come join me and play drinking games, if I'm going out with friends come join us all out at the club etc. when they arrive it's all just small talk while we drink and get to know each other. Then transition into a sexual topic and make a move and get the pussy. It's fairly straight forward imo. Let me know if you want to see some of my messages. On average like I said probably 3-4 a week, but some weeks I could do a different girl every night.

It also helps that 1) I'm attractive 2) I'm extremely social 3) I have a good job and can blow money on shit But you don't need all these things for that to work out.

smurfin101 · 2016-11-17T16:07:07+00:00

Read how to win friends and influence people

letsgetrandy · 2016-11-17T16:55:39+00:00

Did you find the place okay?
I've never been here before. Looks pretty cool.
I hear the chef here used to work for some fancy guy in France, but decided he just wanted to have a dive bar, so the menu is actually quite good.
Do you like cooking?
I've recently been discovering a lot of really good spots for great food.
I couldn't believe it when the Cubs won. What a great series! And then only a few days later, to have all the emotion ripped out of me after that election. Can you believe it? Suddenly, Prince dying doesn't seem all that monumental.

Just keep it conversational, make puns, insinuate sex from time to time, flirt, and definitely do not resort to classic interview questions like did you grow up here, or do you have any siblings... those are always terrible. You'll find that stuff out eventually, if it's worthwhile. Answers to those things tell you nothing about whether you have chemistry with someone.

chuckmeaway01 · 2016-11-17T13:32:09+00:00

Do some self reflection. If it feels like a boring job interview, you're not doing a good job at even making a new friend. Definitely try to improve on holding a conversation before trying to get them into bed.

Ask her how her day was or if anything interesting happened and LISTEN. You'll have endless things to talk about. The ones who are good conversationalists will tell you there's tremendous difference in results between those who listen to respond and those who listen to understand.

It's one of those things where if you had to ask, you probably wouldn't get it even if we explained. Giving you a template to follow when you don't fully understand our styles and nonverbal communication will only make things more awkward and uncomfortable with you.

Never ask about tinder dating history. Also texting prior to the meetup can serve as a filter as well as provide you with topics of mutual interests to discuss.

Remember to manage your expectations. The more desperate you are to get laid, the less successful you'll be. Trying to make new friends and being genuine and honest with what you're looking for will do more for you than any dating coach or guide. Trying to bed a chick with no game will only lead to you losing even the opportunity to make a new friend.

Also you'd be surprised how much a "please" or "thank you" can do for you, especially when you're requesting something.

EDIT(s): finally finished organizing

Paulie_Walnut · 2016-11-17T14:23:08+00:00

Major key for me: if the first 10-15 minutes are awkward don't think that it's impossible to recover from it. Far from that, I've had some dates where the first fifteen minutes were unbearable but if you just stay in there and keep talking and just try to have fun, you'll get past it. Some people will just open up more, while others need some time. If you can show that you don't freak out by some awkward silences you will show massive value, and that will make her more attracted.

petriomelony · 2016-11-17T14:40:47+00:00

If you're not good at conversation, don't make the focus of the date conversation.

Conversation-focused dates include: dinner, coffee, drinks at a quiet bar.

For a first date it's a good idea to take the focus off of you two. Obviously you'll still want to talk, but don't make it the primary focus. Do an activity or something involving watching others potentially - walk in the park, gallery, bowling, live music, etc. What you don't want is an activity where talking is difficult, such as a loud venue (unless that involves dancing closely) or a movie.

After the activity, suggest going back to your place for another drink or to see your warhammer 40k collection or whatever. Escalate, etc.

Shfiend · 2016-11-17T14:54:38+00:00

Being yourself is the most important.

I know - it's easy to say "be yourself" when you don't even know where to begin.

What I would do for a date (in general):

Make sure you have multiple locations to go to. This gives both of you chance to talk about more things during the date.

Example: Recently I just went on a date where I took the girl to a local animal shelter because I was looking to adopt a dog, then we planned to go get a brunch. It was fun because we both love animals. It's a chance for you to see how she behaves as well. If you're good with dogs, it's a chance for you to show off on your knowledge with "dog commands" as well. Remember you should be in control of the date for the most part. You should invite the girl where you are comfortable and can contain yourself.

Keeping the conversation flowing during the date.

I cannot emphasize enough how this part really doesn't matter that much. Remember it takes two to tango. Don't be the person who keeps asking question either. Be playful. Try to talk about things that are upbeat, like traveling, places you enjoy going to, awesome restaurants around the area, etc. etc. Keep things positive. I had more conversation with her as we hopped into my car together to get to the brunch place. We conversed about what we do and some things about our family. I know some people say to avoid these things, but I disagree. I think as long as you can keep it upbeat and positive, even better, if it can show off your social status, you can be even a better candidate in her mind. Just make sure you don't come off as a total show off. I do totally agree though with abundance mentality. Just because you get a date, doesn't mean she is the only one to impress. This is the hardest part. 99% guys will go into scarcity mode if the girl is hot. You need to make sure you still go out on other dates and meet other women, friends or strangers. This will help you remember that she's just another option for you. You've got to be a catch for her to want to chase you. Women look for that social status and they will only date a person who's got it going better than her.

End on a high note.

At the end of the date, I already had things going for me. I already had other plans. I planned a potluck with my friends at my apartment later that afternoon. As soon as I mentioned that to her, she looked like she wants to be invited. So, I did. (HERE, make sure you don't ask "would you like to come?", but instead just mention the event and say "feel free to join us" instead.) This proves that you've got things going for you. You have friends. You have SOCIAL STATUS. People WANT to hang out with you. As you should, if you want to be good at seduction. I always say, be that friend you want to hang out with all the time. Make sure you have goals. People who are successful with women have his goals on first priority and girls/dating second. However, don't be discouraged if she says "no" to your invitation. There are many types of "no's". If it's a hard "no", fuggedaboutit, move on. If it's a soft "no", "I don't think I can, because I already have plans, but please invite me again next time", then it's cool, invite her again the next time you organize a social event.

I'm not saying you should always have a potluck after a date, lol, but you get the idea. Make sure you have something going on, do something productive with your time. If you're not even there yet socially, then fuck dates, work on yourself first.

lavasca · 2016-11-17T13:31:12+00:00

Its hard to give you a actual conversation, since they are allways a bit private and also i forgot the most stuff.. ;) But first, its all about laughing and having a fun time, you know that but i cant tell you how to be funny because you are surely a whole different person as i am. I allways have some longer texting on tinder before i met someone, so i allready know something about that person - you can work with that. for example if she like dogs, have some funny stories about dogs. but the most important thing is situational "comedy".

For example, i went to a the cinema with a cute girl and we got to eat burgers after that, but the burgerhouse was so crowded we had to share a bigger table with other ppl. since the other people got their food first, i made jokes about stealing some pommes from them, since she ordered some aswell i then told her i will also eat hers. she knew the place so i asked where the toilets are, she accidently send me to the handycapped toilet, which i told her with devilish smile and added that i now know what she thinks of me. i also made some jokes with the staff and the other people at the table.. also when my girl wasnt near. some guy let the door open what resulted in a cold wind through the whole house and like everyone realised it, no one did something - so i went to the door and closed it, i guess that impressed her ;) so we ended up at her place drinking wiskey.. what you really should learn is, how to get empathy.. something where she allways answer like "oh yeah i love that". that combined with the information you got from the tinder conversation you should be able to make her tell you stuff and then a normal or great conversation should follow. an easy opener is something about traffic (for me).. its like:

me: hi how are you?

she: hi nice to meet you, im fine.

me: hi fine. haha

she: haha

me: so sorry for beeing late, the traffic was worst.

she:

me: i was standing on that road because a naked man was trying to catch his dog.

she: haha

me: bla bla.. it was a Bernese Mountain Dog. they are so beautiful, i wish i had one..

she: oh yeah they are really cute

me: my grandmother had one and it was the most loving animal i met.. - here follow with some stories abouts dogs or whatever, but you got a convo going..

important is: be prepared for some special topic you know she is interested in, maybe make something up, or bigger as it is - but dont lie (huh?)

and allways make some little jokes (they dont have to be super good, she will laugh anyway.. and they can allways be a bit perfy ;))

my english is not the best, so i hope you could get my points.. if you got any questions or want to correct me, do it ;>

Title	Tinder date conversation
Author	chuckmeaway01
Upvotes	40
Comments	53
Date	November 17, 2016 10:00 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5df17s/tinder_date_conversation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/tinder-date-conversation.1415695 https://theredarchive.com/post/1415695

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