What are some cold hard truths you've learnt from seduction?

mb99 · 2015-01-20T12:45:02+00:00

You can't attract everyone. No matter how smooth, confident, good looking or outrageous you are, not everyone will find you attractive and a lot of the women who do won't be in a situation where they can do something about it (they go back to their home country soon, you remind them too much of their ex, they have a boyf etc). The sooner you can accept this the sooner you can move on
The more you care about the outcome of the interaction, the less likely it'll go the way you want it to. This may sound confusing but what it means is that if you put a lot of pressure on yourself to successfully pick the girl up, you'll find it much much harder to do so. Women are far more sub-communicative than men and will be able to "smell your desperation"
If you care more about the woman's (and pretty much anyone else's) opinion of you than your own opinion of yourself, you'll find it incredibly difficult to be successful. The reason for this (as explained in Models by Mark Manson which I highly recommend) is that being more invested in their opinion of you will make you appear needy and low status. By caring only of what YOU think of yourself, you will come across as confident and attractive. Be the person that YOU would find attractive. If you like coding, OWN IT, if you secretly love Pitch Perfect, OWN IT, if you prefer horse-riding to cars, OWN IT (you get the picture). If you be the person you think they'll want you to be, or you decide that their opinions are more important than yours, most women worth having will sense this and recognise you as lower status than them, which (almost) all women find unattractive.

torsmork · 2015-01-20T12:12:10+00:00

You are alone (You are responible for having the life you want to have. Nobody else).
Expect nothing (The more you expect, the more you'll get hurt, go science!).
Try again after failing, keep on going (You can't win if you don't play).

TheSicilianDude · 2015-01-20T16:50:05+00:00

1) Many guys fail at this or settle for "okay" girls because they don't have the patience or dedication for this. If you want good results, it's going to take some time and a huge commitment (and some awkwardness too). If you're expecting overnight results, you won't go very far. You also won't magically become great at this after reading a pickup book or doing a bootcamp. It. Takes. Time. You are changing your habits and fundamentally altering your approach to women/dating. We, as humans, are resistant to change so at times you have to force it. But it is very rewarding.

2) If you focus too much on getting laid, it is less likely to happen. If you don't care so much and you're having fun, it's more likely. Getting laid is a benefit of self-improvement and if you make it your only goal, you will reek of desperation.

3) There is no such thing as a guy who can pick up any girl he wants. (and this is not a bad thing) Any guy who claims he can is full of shit. We are all still human. Also, that kinda defeats the purpose of learning pickup. You learn this to attract women you like, not every woman in the universe.

4) Sometimes, girls who seem to be into you (and you into them) will drop your ass for no reason. They'll stop responding to your texts, blow you off, etc. and it may leave you baffled. "What? Why? I thought- but we really hit it off and made out the day we met!!" This is why you need to avoid falling in love too quickly, and meet more girls!!! Girls are unpredictable. No use trying to figure out WHY she did that- you'll drive yourself crazy.

dooyoufondue · 2015-01-20T23:00:08+00:00

Lots of women WONT like you. Hell, just accept it now.
Lots of women WILL like you. Hell, just accept it now.
Have a plan but understand that nothing goes according to plan. It's about being flexible and confident in your decision making.
Women are extremely flaky. Put a reasonable effort into scheduling something and if it doesn't happen, move on.

bjlmag · 2015-01-20T23:01:11+00:00

I hate how shallow the world is. Everybody says they only think about personality but God damn when I started working out EVERYONE treated me differently

brocklanders3791 · 2015-01-20T15:02:04+00:00

DO NOT get stuck on one woman and give up your game. If you find a woman you want to get emotionally involved with and want to stick to her, keep seducing her. If you give up your game "for" her, she'll have no reason to dig you any longer and you will break up.

zomgitsduke · 2015-01-20T15:24:28+00:00

Forcefully applying the skills here is a setup for disaster.

You have all the knowledge is the world to succeed in seduction, you just gotta play with said tools enough until you know how they were intended to work

Don't jump deep into the first success, and don't assume you can do it again by repeating those exact steps

SheepKing · 2015-01-21T02:43:45+00:00

girls cheat a lot
i dont know if i can trust women for LTR anymore

Tornadotoni · 2015-01-20T16:40:01+00:00

The harshest tuth for me was that, there isnt that one line or this one technique to get women (or for that matter anything in your life). Helped me alot actualy =)

DaygameCoach · 2015-01-20T18:12:43+00:00

It's all about what you prioritize in your life. If you want to be better with women, you have to be willing to improve yourself and put time and effort into it.

gossamurmur · 2015-01-20T23:26:45+00:00

Growing up, you're sort of fed this idea of what the opposite sex wants and how you should strive to fit those qualities, ie: the archetypal nice guy. But what actually builds long lasting and healthy attraction is putting yourself first - your interests, your work, your studies, your family, caring about these things deeply will incidentally attract people to your life.

I think Nick Offerman had a really great quote in an AMA where he was talking about his wife and if she shares some of the same interests as him, and he said something to the effect of "she thinks [my interest in] woodworking is really boring- but she loves that in me. And I her with her own interests that I don't understand."

CentralValleyAsian · 2015-01-22T02:25:09+00:00

It takes time to be good at seduction

I didn't learned this lesson until now. When I initially started to study seduction I was caught in the old school methods of it (Mystery Method). It took me awhile before I realized it wasn't the style for me. It probably works for someone else, just not me.

When I decided to shift to natural stuff such as Gambler's stuff and Models, I realized it was going to take a lot of patience to change my old habits into ones that were positive and genuine.

The more you work on yourself, the better results you get

I started working out 5 months ago. I stopped because I got lazy, and I'm going to get back into it next week. But it wasn't even the muscles that gave me confidence. It was the fact that I knew I was doing something productive, and that gave me tons of confidence.

More girls like men that have an enriched lifestyle

This one was a hard one for me to swallow. A guy who has an enriched lifestyle is going to be more successful than someone who only plays video games. Someone might argue that "well the guy's doing what he loves most, and a girl who's into it will understand", and I agree, but many, if not most, girls are into multiple things like movies, actors, music, concerts, stuff that enriches a person's life experiences overall. This isn't saying the guy has bragging rights to the concerts he's been to, rather he has more relatable things he can talk about with a girl.

I stopped my daily routine of playing Runescape (Which I still play here and there), and started going to concerts, nightclubs, photography, and traveling more. Even if you don't have much to say about these things, it's the fact you did them that makes more of a connection than someone getting the best skills in a video game.

Llleblanc1986 · 2015-01-23T01:12:14+00:00

Out of the 100+ women I've made out with/fucked etc, only a handful genuinely liked me and I only genuinely liked a hand full

pimpin8ez · 2015-01-20T21:22:20+00:00

You're probably trying too hard, and it shows. I think the best "seductors" are either naturals or have learned how to internalize the information they learn about seductions and BECOME a natural seductor.

Title	What are some cold hard truths you've learnt from seduction?
Author	RedStrike
Upvotes	48
Comments	24
Date	January 20, 2015 8:46 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2t18ea/what_are_some_cold_hard_truths_youve_learnt_from/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-are-some-cold-hard-truths-youve-learnt-from.1382618 https://theredarchive.com/post/1382618

Comments