What do guys prefer? Easy or difficult?

MrNobody___ · 2020-12-02T03:52:48+00:00

It's about not playing games.

I like people who have a life over the relationship. If you're aren't picking up the phone to answer me, it's because you're busy working, with your friends or doing something important. It's not because you're playing hard because you think they will see you as a desperate woman.

cpfd904 · 2020-12-02T05:15:40+00:00

Psychologically, men prefer a highly selective mate with great ease. In other words, men want someone who is only easy for themselves.

afuckingusername001 · 2020-12-02T02:42:06+00:00

Moderate. Verify your interest in that person in a way they'll understand. The guy should be able to carry out the rest.

Most of us really hate having to wonder whether she's interested, playing games, or just being friendly.

South_ParkRepublican · 2020-12-02T02:33:57+00:00

Definitely easy; make it clear that you like me and I'll be 100% more into you if we are on a date already

PlatinumSavage1 · 2020-12-02T04:03:31+00:00

Us guys don't like girls that play hard to get and expect us to get their "hints", so easy is preferred.

SagaciousElan · 2020-12-02T04:15:19+00:00

I guess everyone is different but I would definitely say easy. A relationship is hard enough work as it is without also wondering if the other person actually means what they say or if everything is some kind of test.

The same is true in reverse. I don't like wondering if the other person actually means what they say but I equally hate having my own words twisted.

For example: "You look great in that dress, black really suits you!" means I think the style and colour of that dress make you look great.

It's kind of frustrating to get this response: "What?! Black makes you look slimmer. If black suits me, are you saying I look fat?!" Did I say that? If I wanted to say that, I would have said that. But I like you, so I would never say that.

In case you're wondering, yes I have had this exact interaction. Drama is the worst.

DirtysouthCNC · 2020-12-02T08:16:42+00:00

I'm in my thirties so I don't much care for the "games". Just be direct and upfront and if I'm into it we'll go from there. Worst case, I'm not and you stop wasting your time and find a dude who's into you.

Metallic_bd · 2020-12-02T13:50:03+00:00

Easy because us guys don’t want to take the initiative first no more. We are sick of being rejected our whole life’s.

150420throwaway · 2020-12-02T11:48:51+00:00

Don’t play “hard to get”, for majority of people it’ll just get boring, frustrating and lose interest, and if that interest is already lost, and suddenly you start showing some interest and actually flirting back or whatever, I’ll just think to myself “what the fuck is going on” and probably consider that sort of behaviour to be a red flag in most cases, then again I’ve got little experience.

The ‘chase’ is, in my opinion, a fabrication resulting from movies and pop culture.

No_Ad_5775 · 2020-12-02T05:23:18+00:00

Fuckboys like the chase cuz it's new everytime that being said they are fuckboys so you're not the only/first option.

Impressive-Forever60 · 2020-12-02T10:35:17+00:00

Ive never heard of a guy saying he likes the chase... unless he gets women so easily, he needs a challenge.

Trowawaycausebanned4 · 2020-12-02T16:01:46+00:00

If a woman likes me, she has to act like it, or I’m gonna get very discouraged. If someone acts like they don’t like me anymore, I can go from having a crush on them to uninterested.

If you don’t want me in your life, just act like it.

RikuXander · 2020-12-02T04:57:16+00:00

If I know you’re interested in me too I don’t mind the difficultly. But if I have to Wonder if you are I’m out

2020-12-02T05:18:59+00:00

I prefer easy for me and difficult for everyone else :)

Servin007 · 2020-12-02T09:36:41+00:00

Somewhere in the middle, I had my fair share of girls who just smiled at me when we talked and thought that was 'obvious indication of interest' where I just took it as friendly talk.. and months/years later asked me why I didn't go for it lol. But there are also alot of brave lovely girls who really show that they are interested in you, and then if I feel like we click them I go for it. I normally have 2-6 girls each year who flat out ask me if I wanna go back to her place and have sex without any previous talks.. and it doesn't matter how hot the girl is, the answer is always 'no' simply because I don't fancy that, I like the thrill of the chase and teasing, laying in bed thinking about that one girl..

SadKnight123 · 2020-12-02T12:24:36+00:00

I personally prefer when the girl demonstrates she likes me and is also active. I never seen any girl who took the initiative any less than the others, in fact, I tend to admire then more, because it's not that common. I don't like games. If you're interested, you're interested. But this is me... Other people out there for some obscure reason, seems to like a "challenge", wich for me is a waste of time.

Aightmandowns0101 · 2020-12-02T03:24:16+00:00

Someone who shows interests in me without being clingy. That's it.

BeeshGame · 2020-12-02T04:15:39+00:00

Just depends on the guy tbh. I think society is shifting towards no longer shaming women for taking initiative in dating, which I think is great and much healthier. When a woman takes initiative with me, I find it to be a relief, but most of the time I take the initiative in my relationships because that's what is expected

Mission-master · 2020-12-02T08:21:21+00:00

Easy lol but keep a bit mysterious . Making it too hard just push guys away .

2020-12-02T12:06:09+00:00

Just go with how the vibe takes you; it's not school or something

Browsinandsharin · 2020-12-02T12:54:25+00:00

Men are not a monolith, depends on the guy, what he's looking for, where he is at in life and what he has experienced previously. So.. both can be true at different times, you just have to try and see

causeNo · 2020-12-02T13:56:47+00:00

What about letting yourself get chased, but also giving hints during the chase , that you like the guy ?

Bcs if you just play hard to get and have no intention of ever dating the guy, then you shouldn't waste his time.

If the guy doesn't want to chase a little, then he probably expected to get you right away, and if you're not worth a little chase to him , then you might not be worth much to him to beginn with. And you're better of without him.

Also if you see that the guy is oblivious to the hints, but you sense that he has feelings for you, then you can make the first move or drop an obvious hint. That can be done by giving attention or wanting to spend time with him.

Depending on his energy, you can decide how obvious you want to make it for him. If the guy has alot of "sexual energy" (sry can't think of a better term for what I mean) then he will not need many hints to understand how you feel towards him.

When we say we miss the chase, means we are bored bcs it's to easy. Example: if a girl lets me do everything to her in bed and is happy with it, and doesn't really need more than that, then we get bored bcs everything is in reach and you didn't really have to fight for it, hence why we "miss the chase". It's messed up, I know.

In summary: Don't leave the chase out, and make him understand how you feel towards him. Guys often don't like the chase bcs they are unsure of wether it's just an attention grab, a normal conversation or a flirt.

causeNo · 2020-12-02T17:32:46+00:00

You know how r/AskWomen always slaps you with 'women aren't a monolith'? It's same with men. There is no contradiction, there's only different men with different preferences.

I for one don't like it when women make it unnecessarily difficult. For the right woman it would be very easy to get me. She simply has to exhibit what I want and keep exhibiting it. I want a woman who treats it the same.

What I mean by unnecessarily is: Say, she has some trauma from being harassed / molested. She needs me to move very slow or avoid certain things. And she communicates it clearly along with other signals that she like-likes me, I'll be patient.

If a woman however plays hot and cold or leaves me on read consistently, avoids actually meeting up or does anything else that I percieve as playing games (or farming for validation with minimum investment) I nope out fast.

2020-12-03T03:14:01+00:00

Honestly, easy. Like, not sex on the first date is mandatory easy. Just kind of relaxed and casual. I want a partner I can play and enjoy life with, and then rely on when things get tough. Basically, a girlfriend is a step up from best friend in the relationship hierarchy. So, don't be afraid to ask a guy out. Especially in a playful way. No pressure is the best.

master_nouveau · 2020-12-03T18:22:06+00:00

Hi! International Spokesperson for All Men here with a groundbreaking take: It depends on the bloke.

Snadderloffen · 2020-12-03T21:56:12+00:00

I prefer people I need to chase. The easy way gets boring very fast

2020-12-04T10:29:30+00:00

I would say it depends entirely on the person that you meet, but I like a girl that's honest. If you want to go immediately, say so. Generally, most guys don't like to be in a relationship with an easy girl but would love to have sex with one. This shouldn't get in the way of anything that you want to do with that person because if you're worried about this, you're trying to control things out of your control.

That said, you can just be honest, compliment a guy if you like what he's wearing. Tell a guy to skip the small talk if you want him, whatever. Test a guy that you're not sure of, hear him out. Example, I can comfortably tell a girl that the current topic of conversation is boring. As long as you are not disrespectful and or unnecessarily rude, just do you sis.

I find that the most honest girls in my life were the most memorable. One time a classmate of mine said how she hates small talk from guys when she knows that they're interested. I'm essentially saying the same thing here, speak your truth, it feels so much better.

2020-12-04T12:37:41+00:00

I dislike the chase. If someone is interested, they need to speak up. If I'm not interested in return, I'll be polite and supportive and offer friendship (which actually can bloom into more later). I honestly don't care if you are or are not "desperate". I'm interested in someone for how well I'm attracted to their personality and physical attraction/chemistry. I don't care what other guys/girls think or like.

Personality example: I'll be more attracted to someone who is relaxed and nearly boring but willing to talk about anything, than I am someone who is funny for the moment, but lacks substance. This means about 1/2 the ladies on Bumble going through middle age crisis/travel/making up for lost...whatever...are pretty much out. It's like they are advertising they want sex but not the stigma of being a hook-up. They fall for smooth guys that hook up.

Where as 'boring girl' that wants to play ping pong or darts or Mario cart is playing for the win. That's the girl that I can imagine in my everyday life.

Physical example: Most of my friends like curvy ladies with big bra sizes. I'm attracted to thin ladies with small bra sizes. If anything, have nice hair. I add this example because some women have self esteem issues with their chest. Don't. Some guys like them small. I'm one of them.

I'm one of those "polite" people. I need you to make the first move because if you are not interested "that" way, then I don't want to have anyone feel obligated.

Also, end of the date peck on the cheek or brief passionate kiss is a winner in my eyes, especially on the first date. This tells me you are interested, but not "giving it up" to everyone you date and it makes me feel there is more to develop, later. Butterflies!

I hope this adds realistic insight from a guy who dates about once a month and isn't out to be Mr. Player. Best wish to ya!

EDIT: I'll add that age doesn't mean too much. I don't care if you're 55 or 25. Just be real and don't flee if it does start to look permanent.

JakeMullerRE · 2020-12-02T03:51:04+00:00

Be feminine, allow a man to be in his masculine and express interest and attraction in a non needy way when it's there. That is all.

pua_max · 2020-12-02T03:08:48+00:00

The gold standard is a chase where you basically lead him through it. Equivalent to “advanced” seduction for guys where you make the girl chase but are subtly doing things to make it happen. That level of subtlety is difficult. On the bright side, men are much more prone to chase so it’s also easier.

Imo seduction at the advanced level converges to the same thing for men and women.

GrandpaTiger · 2020-12-02T12:51:22+00:00

It's a dance, so it really depends. Not only on who's dancing but what's the tune. I love it when a girl knows how to take initiative in a feminine way. Just as I love when a dominant girl is pretending to be chased. It's all about playfulness. But if I have to pick one, I prefer difficult. I'm a hunter I guess.

Woujo · 2020-12-02T03:30:43+00:00

You are thinking of it the wrong way.

You should always be a challenge. Human beings are naturally attracted to a challenge. But it should be a fun challenge that they feel they can eventually succeed at. You shouldn't just say "no" or be a jerk. You should just make clear that you have a fun life and he needs to step his game up if he wants to be with you.

tibles20 · 2020-12-02T11:13:40+00:00

Difficult women are the best

fetishfairygodmother · 2020-12-02T02:47:50+00:00

Guys seem to be fickle pickles these days ... They say they want girls who are no drama and easy to read. But give them the billboard with flashing lights, tell them your schedule so they know when you are available... And they STILL pick the days you are not free, and act like idiots claiming they didn't know we were interested.

BensonInFL · 2020-12-02T07:11:42+00:00

What do guys prefer? Easy or difficult?

Obviously, we would say that we would 'choose' easy if asked, but many will be 'attracted' to the chase...

I hear guys complain about the pressure they have to take the initiative

I know, it's pathetic. Men are complaining that they have to act like men... it makes it easier for the remaining ones.. :) :)

-B

muff_marauder · 2020-12-02T03:25:31+00:00

To me, women who make the first move come off as desperate and slutty in all the wrong ways.

A better way is simply to put yourself "out there" and get on the radar of men you are attracted to without making the first move, then hope he chooses you.

ItsAmon · 2020-12-02T15:40:18+00:00

I prefer it a bit easy, as in: talking back, wanting to do things, giving me subtile signs that you're interested etc. The chase is definitely fun though and makes me want a girl more, but it shouldn't be a hard to get game. Just don't show your cards immediately.

Besides that: it shouldn't be over the top easy, planning your entire life together 1 week after meeting each other. That's desperate and desperate = unattractive.

2020-12-02T16:39:33+00:00

If easy means that every men can seduce her, not my interest.

If hard means you have to put a strategy to seduce her, not my interest.

So I need to get a sincere relationship in which I can engage demanding feelings.

iamdavisr · 2020-12-02T17:06:35+00:00

I wouldn't think that much into it. Just do what you feel like doing.

2020-12-02T18:14:07+00:00

Just be real. So many fake people it's ridiculous!

2020-12-02T18:20:16+00:00

Most definitely easy, any girl you gotta chase is not into you period

The_Advocates_Devil_ · 2020-12-02T19:48:32+00:00

How about just plain old fucking organic. I like you, you like me, so lets cut the bullshit and see where this goes. Let's grab a cup of coffee and go for a walk by the river.

CElan_cruz · 2020-12-02T21:51:28+00:00

EASY

TosACoinToYourSwitch · 2020-12-03T05:43:12+00:00

Games suck. If you are easy, own it. If you're not, own it. Find guys who like how you act when you're being you, cause whether a guy likes easy is an individual question.

I personally don't date women who aren't slutty. I'm a slut, I need someone who matches. Are you a slut? No? You probably wouldn't like dating me either lol.

9MaxR9 · 2020-12-03T21:41:54+00:00

Easy. (But not too easy)

ImmodestPolitician · 2020-12-05T13:52:31+00:00

Easy. However, I don't want a girl that tells me she loves me the 1st date.

Guys that like the chase are terrible in relationships because they see the seduction as a validation. When they get bored they will chase other women.

Title	What do guys prefer? Easy or difficult?
Author	thx31
Upvotes	53
Comments	68
Date	December 2, 2020 2:19 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/k500yk/what_do_guys_prefer_easy_or_difficult/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-do-guys-prefer-easy-or-difficult.1292061 https://theredarchive.com/post/1292061

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