Whats the proper way to cold approach?

PublicAssumption949 · 2025-02-02T21:18:10+00:00

"I dont think a cold approach ever really works"

That's your problem right there. Just walk up to a girl you like, compliment her on her outfit, chat about whatever, build some rapport, and ask for her number, if she gives it to you cool, if not, try again. Cold approaching is a numbers game, like cold calling.

theasianplayboy · 2025-02-02T20:50:32+00:00

Cold approach absolutely works, but it requires a combination of physical, verbal, and mental game. If you haven’t practiced it from an early age, it’s easy to get wrong. And on top of that, it requires calibration, because not every situation calls for the same level of directness.

It sounds like your “social gathering” is more of a lukewarm setting, meaning it’s not a true cold approach environment like a bar or club where nobody knows each other. In a house party, networking event, or similar gathering, you need a softer, more nuanced approach—less outlandish or loud behaviors.

One great way to approach in these situations is to use social etiquette to trigger an autopilot response that negates rejection. A great example is the Kickstarter Opener: “Cheers, my name’s JT Tran, what’s yours?” If you’re at an event where drinks are involved, everyone instinctively knows how to respond to a toast. And if they don’t reciprocate, then they’re the awkward one, not you.

But if you want to see a real, high-energy cold approach in action, check out this infield where I approach a group of 10 girls and ends up with makeouts.

DaygameCode · 2025-02-02T21:25:57+00:00

You can approach any girl, by simply saying something like:

You: “Hey, i wanna ask you something real quick”
Her: Sure
You: The thing js I feel like most people at these social gatherings usually try too hard or don’t try at all, but you seem like you’re actually enjoying yourself and i was curious. What’s your secret?”

or

You: Hey, mind if i ask you something real quick?
Her: what is it?
You: “It’s just that I briefly noticed you from across the room, and you have this really relaxed but magnetic energy—like you don’t need to do much to stand out. I had to come see if the person behind that vibe is just as interesting, you feel me?”

That’s a respectful way to approach in a social gathering where everyone is sober. If she is interested or not, that depends on her, so you shouldn’t beat yourself up for it. it’s not a reflection of you as a person cuz she doesn’t know you. It’s more about her having different priorities in that moment.

burncushlikewood · 2025-02-02T20:50:20+00:00

You're asking a generalized question, basically you're asking, how do I seduce a woman, that's the entire purpose of this community. My suggestion is to build rapport, flirt, and get to know her, but don't be too nice and get stuck in the friendzone, you need to touch her and escalate, you touch less erogenous zones first, hands, upper back, shoulders, then you touch the lower back,upper thighs, and then her face

ApprehensiveEmploy21 · 2025-02-03T00:28:57+00:00

Just don’t think about it

tonyferguson2021 · 2025-02-04T01:43:04+00:00

We need to get the idea that women are inherently terrified out of our minds 🤷‍♂️

’cold approach’ is a horrible term that would fill most people who aren’t in sales with dread, why not reframe it as being friendly / outgoing / sociable / curious and interested etc…

that terminology is sort of geared towards notch in bedpost mentality imo

Fresh_Aardvark_4287 · 2025-02-02T21:36:32+00:00

It’s not terribly complicated. The most difficult part is honestly just going up to her. A great way to do that is to compliment her on something that’s not her body. Or ask her a question about something in your surroundings. Then just have a conversation about it. Ask interesting, but non intrusive questions. People love an opportunity to talk about themselves. If she’s not into it, oh well. Know when to bow out and take the loss. Don’t take it personally, there are so many reasons she might not be responsive that have nothing to do with you. Good luck!

Bear1975 · 2025-02-02T21:47:39+00:00

It's the power of your thoughts that make it or break. Like being negative about it , is already setting you for failure. But pumping yourself up saying I got this, I can do it and be positive. It's all about confidence, banther or as you young ones say vibing.

grldgcapitalz2 · 2025-02-02T21:57:14+00:00

outcome independance

maxreddit0609 · 2025-02-03T05:02:45+00:00

Respectfully.

Thats it. If you’re intentions are good, and you’re respectful you can’t go wrong.

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2025-02-03T07:20:39+00:00

I did a post long ago on how to do a good approach. You can check that out. It lays out the principles of a good approach and gives you a good idea on what to do

PeterLamb87 · 2025-02-03T07:44:28+00:00

Cold approach works, but its a very ineffective method

epimpstyle · 2025-02-03T09:44:46+00:00

I dont think a cold approach ever really works.

You can do it like a robot as advertised on YouTube and TikTok - that is the WRONG way to do it, it is fishing but the guys found a reason for this by saying that "it is a number's game" so in this case, if a girl is not interested find another one. This kind of approach is a challenge, they don't take anything into consideration (like "calibration" which is very important), they just see the girl ---> approach her.

If you do it in the right way, you look like a human being and you approach someone because you are a friendly and social person. This is me in Ukraine VIDEO and VIDEO. At first, you can't even say why I'm talking to them, but slowly I build from there.

Lets say youre at a social gathering, everyones mostly sober and you see a cute girl across the room

If you have a drink in your hand, one of the most easiest way to start a conversation is to go up to her and say "cheers, how's it going? a) if she drinks something: what's that? b) If she doesn't drink: why doesn't she drink?" It is just hard to start. It's like jumping into a pool, you hesitate at first because the water is cold, but once you're in the pool, you don't feel that the water is cold.

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2025-02-03T10:53:53+00:00

the first thing is to move where she can see you then go for it.
Say Hi.

originalgainster · 2025-02-04T19:53:00+00:00

Why are so worried about doing it the proper way and not scaring her off?

Prior-Pin-8821 · 2025-02-07T16:20:12+00:00

If she is standing or in close proximity, say I really love your jacket/shoes/nails and see her responds. If she is walking, ask for direction or a naive question, then do the same like I really love your outfit and go from there. If its a social event, always ask how is the event going and go from there. If nothing comes in mind, just say I just saw you thought you were really pretty in the outfit so I wanted to talk to you. Boom, all situation covered. Dont approach groups unless its a social place or event, her mentality wont be receptive.

Impossible-Ground921 · 2025-02-08T05:01:02+00:00

cold approach works once the skill is there. i have same day closed girls in the middle of the day.

there’s no magic formula. the vibe is more important than what is said. you could walk up and say “i like yogurt” and it could work.

EetinAintCheetin · 2025-02-02T21:36:41+00:00

There are a few reasons why the traditional cold approach doesn’t work.

For the most part, cold approaching comes from a very needy frame. It is basically down to “Im a lonely, horny guy and I will go out and bother women to give me their number so I can pester them for sex”. It’s all about getting, taking, wanting.

Another issue is, a guy sees a cute chick and without knowing anything about her other than that she looks good, he makes a decision right then and there that he wants to fuck her. Absolutely no discernment, no standards, no screening. All chasing!

This leads me to the biggest issue which is having an agenda. You are not really interested in the woman. You are interested in what she represents to you: a trophy that you won. That’s how most men treat good looking women anyway.

Now put yourself in the shoes of the woman. You see some guy loitering around and eyeing every available woman he can approach. He goes up to 5 women trying his tired pick up line, only to come over to you. And as he opens his mouth, you know exactly what he will say “Hey, I saw you from over there and told myself I would kick my own ass if I did isn’t come and talk to you to tell you that you look really beautiful.”

Wow and the guy really thought he was being original. She knows right away that you have an agenda, that you expect a specific outcome and she doesn’t want any of it.

So that’s why come approach doesn’t work. It’s inherently needy, pursuing and pathetic. So change the reason why you talk to women. Instead of wanting to talk to them so you can try to get them in bed, talk to them because you are interested in what they are as a person. Focus on whether they are worthy of your time. Don’t think about how to get them, please them or impress them.

Have a more non-chalant attitude about it. So if you see a girl at a party and nobody is drinking, go up to her and say “Hi, I’m Bob. What’s your name?”

MichaelScofield68 · 2025-02-03T00:56:44+00:00

Your question is very vague and broad it's like asking how do I become a professional piano player.

So vague and broad answer : get their attention, display attractive behavior, get them comfortable around you and escalate to sex.

Title	Whats the proper way to cold approach?
Author	Boogaloomickey
Upvotes	38
Comments	26
Date	February 2, 2025 8:41 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ig73r4/whats_the_proper_way_to_cold_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/whats-the-proper-way-to-cold-approach.1542791 https://theredarchive.com/post/1542791

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