Why do I keep getting destroyed by the charming guy?

Classy-Tater-Tots · 2022-09-21T00:30:22+00:00

Agree with the other poster. This is probably you just projecting your insecurities. The guy probably was just having fun flirting and making friends. If they're also both younger, that's a bit more expected for them to vibe and be more open too.

Who knows what his intentions are. Flirting isn't necessarily cheating to many people.

Odd-Letterhead-1633 · 2022-09-21T03:53:33+00:00

Nobody cares about you that much. Not being mean but people are focused solely on themselves 99% of the time.

pp604977 · 2022-09-21T01:12:45+00:00

Lol- who does all these with co-workers? Don’t you need your job in this market? Bruh- go to a bar and hit on people.

RedditsOlderBrah · 2022-09-20T22:59:44+00:00

good rule of thumb is that nobody cares that much about you. none of this was out of his way. all of it can be explained by 'he wanted to do it and could so he did'.

TheDom1992 · 2022-09-21T03:00:13+00:00

Based on what you said I don’t think this guy is doing it to humiliate you. You just so happen to be present when he does.

sadhak_x0 · 2022-09-21T17:44:28+00:00

The root cause of your suffering is that you have a scarcity mindset. One woman gives you a signal and, instead of considering her one of numerous possibilities, you fall head over heels, while she considers you a just another possibility. This is known as a scarcity mindset. It has nothing to do with your age.

You need to learn the fundamentals of inner game. No guy should interact with women without having some sort of inner game. This is not optional. Inner game is important even if you don't want to do anything with women whatsoever.

Dakessian · 2022-09-21T13:21:14+00:00

Do your best not mix pleasure with business. Go somewhere else for pleasure.

Selkie-Princess · 2022-09-21T14:46:36+00:00

This very sounds like you’re an older dude who mistook your younger female co-workers perfunctory workplace friendliness for interest. Now you’re upset that she’s more comfortable around the funny charming and SAFE man than she is around the older weirdo who doesn’t know that co-workers being polite doesn’t equal attraction.

incognito3107 · 2022-09-21T07:35:19+00:00

I guess it just boosts his ego and he enjoy these feelings. He seems not to care about your perspective at all. And girls like what they like.

If you don't enjoy the game, don't play it. It happens frequently that you are not destined to like some people or thrive in certain environment. Invest you attention and energy somewhere else.

sussykeke · 2022-09-21T07:59:16+00:00

He's got better game than you, don't take it personally. Get better at pickup so you don't have to get into situations like this.

Jdollarthegreat · 2022-09-21T01:03:39+00:00

You gotta shoot your shot. It's the woman that "chooses up" so don't blame the dude. He put the work in while you sat back and watched. He reaped the benefits.

ccraynor90 · 2022-09-21T15:00:42+00:00

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JehovasFinesse · 2022-09-21T15:18:29+00:00

Where in this entire wall of text is it that he’s going out of his way to destroy you in any way? All I can see is he flirted, she liked him, you were in the room. Where is he attacking?

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-09-21T08:19:24+00:00

Its just social proof. Girls like guys who are liked by other girls. As simple as that from the attraction part but yeah you might fucked it up if you're already too late and if you never showed any sign of interest or maybe its not too late

Finzi · 2022-09-21T16:40:07+00:00

Girls do like to flirt with taken guys. It feels low-stakes and non-threatening, and they have plausible deniability to flirt without being called a ho. Maybe this dude really was more charming than you, but you should also recognize that successful flirting is easier for dudes with gfs. I also highly doubt he's gunning for you specifically. He just enjoys flirting.

Now maybe he's playing a game where he's actually still on the hunt even though he supposedly has a gf, but I don't think that's a great strategy to actually get laid. It may help him with flirting, but she may well decide he's a scumbag if he actually makes a move.

Always2ndB3ST · 2022-09-21T22:03:34+00:00

OP this is called “AMOG’ing” which stands for “alpha male of group” and essentially men will naturally always compete with each other for the girl. That’s what he was doing regardless of having a gf or not and he’s basically challenging you. It’s a hard “game” to get good at because if you act bothered by it, it’s gonna make you look really bad to the girl. What you need to do is work on your flirting/seduction skills and win the girl next time lmao

ZoeticLark · 2022-09-22T14:17:32+00:00

Oof harsh responses. I was just looking at Human Design stuff. Its a way of describing energetics and how we interact with the world. But too esoteric for most people.

You sound fine. The guy with a gf, probably just knows the cues that engage women, most likely. Maybe a look at some Matthew Hussey videos would give you insight into what women want and get engaged by. Its not esoteric and may offer more thoughtful, and aritculate, (non blaming/shaming) insight into attraction and how to build it.

Probably best to move on and dont let your coworkers get under your skin. Its damn near never a good idea to date people you work with. If this guy is out of line, time will tell. Time always reveals the truth. And if you are really into her, play the long game.

ccraynor90 · 2022-09-22T17:46:11+00:00

He’s not doing anything on purpose. She likes him and that’s about all there is to it. You win some you lose some.

MartMillz · 2022-10-01T21:23:09+00:00

Best to avoid dating in workplace
You didn't notice her until you thought she liked you so what are you upset about.
It was probably a shit test/tease that you took too seriously anyway

modidlee · 2022-09-21T14:07:40+00:00

This sounds like some homoerotic fantasy where OP is actually fantasizing about being the 3rd person in a polyamorous situation with the "smart charming guy" and whatever girl(s) the two of them pick up

zapadz · 2022-09-21T00:37:51+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8P5FZyYrP9s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGYSPuER7-U

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgyRjAnHIAU

Alphachadbeard · 2022-09-21T07:46:43+00:00

Psa It can be just as hard to be an above average looking dude as it can be to be an above average looking woman.peoples aggro jealous moves are supposed to be considered normal like it's not at all.OP tho u said it urself you weren't being tactical and flopped your personality all over the place and now they're calling you creepy 🤣

Repulsive-Fee393 · 2022-09-21T00:49:31+00:00

Bro, be a man, pick a fight

7asas · 2022-09-21T12:52:39+00:00

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ccraynor90 · 2022-09-21T14:05:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Competitive-Link-912 · 2022-09-21T16:14:21+00:00

Your too insecure and a pussy.

Work on approaching and start conversations first. If you let the other guys go first you are already losing.

UniversallyObjective · 2022-09-21T16:58:46+00:00

I'm going through the same thing with my friend, he says he's not doing it on purpose and he's tried to tone it down. But in the end, it's my fault for not being alpha enough, not rolling with the punches enough, not being popular enough.. the only answers seem to be gym, therapy and more money. Also trying give up on women entirely, but that hasn't worked so far. Why would they rather be a side piece than date an average guy?

Ok_Ad_367 · 2022-09-21T17:10:06+00:00

You should´ve asked him hows his gf, infront of the girl to boost your chances

brobrobro907 · 2022-09-21T20:39:35+00:00

I heard black guys talk to women like magic then they use and dump them. They the worse

Title	Why do I keep getting destroyed by the charming guy?
Author	ccraynor90
Upvotes	34
Comments	52
Date	September 20, 2022 10:47 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xjn60o/why_do_i_keep_getting_destroyed_by_the_charming/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-do-i-keep-getting-destroyed-by-the-charming.1249645 https://theredarchive.com/post/1249645

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