Crazy first week…one conclusion

ViolentTakeByForce · 2024-02-01T11:44:51+00:00

You are doing great brother. Gray rock as best as you can, but make sure with everything you are doing you are putting time into mental and physical health. Everyone here says the gym, and I believe men and women should have a baseline of fitness even if not a gym rat(I am one). But if walks are your thing, do it. Bike rides, basket ball, something to focus on as even if we don’t notice it, this all takes up a lot of mental space.

I also agree with recording yourself now that she’s alerted you to the depths she will go. Even if not legal, in a worst case scenario if she claims something happened to her, you have immediate proof. Can’t stress this enough, body cams are cheap. If I lived in the same house as a woman I was divorcing, I’d sleep with one recording me. Sounds drastic until you have your reputation smeared and it takes months/years to prove your innocence.

sak144 · 2024-01-31T17:46:16+00:00

Record every interaction.

The fake DVRO is your tipoff that she is willing to go nuclear and make up anything to try to gain an upper hand. It getting denied is just going to have her redouble her efforts on plotting and planning something even worse.

Be stoic - don't ever react to the nonsense or drama. "Ok" is a perfectly complete and acceptable answer to anything she says. No matter what it is.

What I found helped was to convince myself over and over to visualize her as a spoiled little child trapped in a grown up body. Helps you detach as well as not get emotional or react when you just want to laugh at the nonsense and thought of a 12-year old yelling at you in a tantrum.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2024-01-31T17:05:54+00:00

She’s a train wreck and will look for anything and everything to use against you. Dont give her any bullets to fire by simply not being around her or talking to her. She will try to bait you into a fight so she can go full victim mode, don’t let her.

What’s with the breathalyzer? If you’re doing that just to prove her wrong I think you’re wasting your time. You’ll have better luck arguing with a brick wall.

hogger303 · 2024-01-31T16:32:51+00:00

Record every interaction with her.

Bluetoes1 · 2024-01-31T16:21:50+00:00

You have a great attitude. Try to keep it as long as you can. All of this can become very taxing on you emotionally. Fight for the kids. Get as much time as you can. If you can get 50/50 or more, do that. You won’t regret it. The best thing you can do is have your kids with you at least half of the time. The reason I say this is by reading what has already occurred, you are going to get smeared in your children’s eyes. Anything you do, miss an extra-curricular, raise your voice in frustration, anything, and she will try to use it to make you look bad to the kids. But if you have them 50/50, the kids see who you are, and know who you truly are, and the stbx can’t damage that.

Hang in there, fight for everything, because it’s clear she is trying to take everything.

Keep that attitude, it will help your mental health through this.

azwildcat74 · 2024-01-31T16:20:57+00:00

Quit with the breathalyzer bullshit. You’re not an alcoholic, don’t give her saying so the credibility of proving her wrong constantly or that will become the formalized norm in court.

ElderberrySuper3659 · 2024-01-31T15:53:49+00:00

Going forward you need to realize that you can do nothing right and even the kindest gesture will come back to bite you.

warwww · 2024-01-31T15:10:22+00:00

Not magic at all. Just be sure to stay in your kids life to counterbalance the new guys she’s going to have around them. It’s a terrible thing as a father knowing you’re not there to protect them constantly as you once were.

Classic_Dill · 2024-01-31T14:49:07+00:00

Hahahahaha! so funny, sex was oddly the last thing to go in my crumbling marriage (divorced now), keep in mind my ex didnt like me, but she kept coming at me for sex, Magic Dicks Unite!!!!!

Title	Crazy first week…one conclusion
Author	manmyth
Upvotes	31
Comments	17
Date	January 31, 2024 2:43 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1afjeco/crazy_first_weekone_conclusion/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/crazy-first-weekone-conclusion.1244281 https://theredarchive.com/post/1244281

Comments