Hi, I've been browsing this forum for months now and I always thought I was lucky with a HVM... I think I was just blind! I fell too quickly and didn't give him more time to show his true colors. Please take this as a cautionary tale. :(

My ex-boyfriend and I are in college and he never bought me flowers. We dated for ten months. He would give me other gifts sometimes and treated me usually with respect so this is why I'm so confused. I thought our relationship was perfect.

I thought he was just saving money for his college education, because he worked a minimum wage job. But he was dropping hundreds of dollars on video games and a PC setup.....

One day I decided to start hinting for flowers. It was subtle for a few months. He ignored my hints. I asked him directly one day, because, all we women have to do is CoMMUniCaTe right?! He blew up, said I was calling him a bad boyfriend and I didn't appreciate the things he did for me. That I didn't love him and I just wanted his money. He cursed and shut down.

I was so confused. I wasn't demanding the flowers. I just wanted them sometimes.... I apologized and he told me I would get flowers sometime, but he wants it to be SpoNtAnEoUs and A SURPRISE. I was too high-maintenance.

Translation: he never got me flowers in the next few months. He could have bought them for two dollars at his workplace and stop on the way home to give them to me. But he never did. :(

I told him a couple months later, tearing up, that maybe someday I could have a bouquet. He exploded with anger. He told me I was making him feel bad and that I am ungrateful and I haven't learned anything. I told him what flowers mean to me, and I asked him why he was so opposed to flowers. He told me he would never buy me flowers.

I asked him if he wished his sisters would be treated well. He said they should be treated like queens. My heart broke when I asked, "What about me then?" and all I received was silence.

I ended the call because I knew in my heart he would never buy me flowers. :(

All of my life, I have loved flowers. They are romantic and a simple way for a man to show he cares.

It's been a day, only silence. My heart aches but I know that this boy is not my destiny. My destiny is my education, my scholarships, my volunteering, and my family, who will never wake up one day and decide I didn't earn or deserve them.

I've been reflecting today. There have been a lot of other red flags I have ignored: poor hygiene, poor academic habits resulting in him failing classes, copying my work and asking for answers and cheating, gross friends, and lack of money management.

My dad is a good role model. He spoiled my mom-their first date was a trip to Disneyland. He bought her a horse and gave her the world. He allowed her to live her dream of being a homemaker. That is love.

I know I deserve better. I'm beautiful, smart, ambitious, and funny, and men chase me. I have all the options in the world. He'll run back, just like the other men did, and I'll be ready to say no.

Someday, a man will bring me flowers without me begging him. :(