Trying to level up my appearance

hgd29 · 2020-07-11T01:27:45+00:00

I have 2 pieces of advice.

First, take some time off before dating after your divorce. And by time, I mean a year at least. It sounds like you have valid reasons to be unhappy with your partner, but leveling up to attract a HVM is more than just changing your looks and clothes. You wouldn’t buy a new home that looks picturesque on the outside, but needs 100k worth of work on the inside. I don’t know your mental or emotional state, but if you’re currently in an unhappy/unhealthy relationship it’s going to take time to work through the emotions of divorce. Dating when you aren’t ready emotionally will lead you to make poor choices and ignore red flags because you’ll be craving the love you haven’t given yourself.

Second, taking this time will be a good thing because it will give you time to work on the outside if you want to. Watch hair style YouTube tutorials to find some styles you like. Follow stylish women/celebrities on social media who are close to your age. Learn to do your own manicures, I highly recommend OPI and Essie gel polishes. Set a consistent workout schedule, and cook healthy meals at home for a night in with yourself. Taking care of your body will help you fall in love with the woman you are on the outside, while you’re also taking time to work on who you are on the inside.

Once you truly love who you are, you will easily attract the kind of man you want and deserve.

yggiwtmiih · 2020-07-11T02:11:06+00:00

I started to dress according to my kibbe type a few years ago and it has dramatically improved my sense of style (and self confidence).

Kibbe is all about dressing exactly for your body and face type and accentuating your natural beauty while also letting your features and essence take center stage.

This youtuber has been very helpful to me, hopefully you find this advice useful.

Kristeninmyskin · 2020-07-11T09:23:51+00:00

It’s late and I’m tired but, did you know we have a sister sub called r/FemaleLevelUpStrategy? Check it out!

MuttonDressedAsGoose · 2020-07-11T00:31:33+00:00

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nutshit · 2020-07-11T01:10:57+00:00

Lovely to hear you recognized your worth and leaving him. Taking care of your appearance really goes far and makes you feel so good overall. Align yourself with what the dream you looks like, you’ll attract a man on your level. Find a muse, someone you can admire and look to for style inspiration. Specifically someone who looks similar and realistic to you. To start, a nice simple skincare routine (Dr. Dray on youtube), having a signature perfume, and body butter/lotion would make you feel and look fresh. Idk what hair type you have but you can try new colors that suit you. You can go lighter, darker, highlighted, short or long. Focus on making it look sleek/shiny and healthy. You have so much time to experiment right now. To build up your wardrobe, find quality basics that you know you can pair well until you find your style. Monochromatic outfits are a safe and elegant way to go.

mouthyhousewife · 2020-07-11T09:39:01+00:00

Start playing roller derby.

spin_the_globe · 2020-07-11T15:21:23+00:00

Please don't feel like you have to buy into performative femininity to be your best self. If you enjoy the tanning and fake eyelashes and all that, you do you, but ask yourself if that's something you want to deal with all the time for years. You can unfrump yourself through clothing, basic grooming, and behavior/how you carry yourself.

Also, really really seconding the advice to take a year or more post-divorce before you start dating again. Find yourself first, then think about finding someone else. You might need to go through a couple versions of yourself, try on some new ways of looking and being, before you settle into what feels authentic.

-positivity- · 2020-07-12T03:27:29+00:00

Have a look at Lisa Vanderpump for inspiration—she has great style. Classy, sexy, and feminine at the same time. She shows off her body in an elegeant way. I’d encourage you to wear clothes in plain colours, and to stay away from prints. Make bold earring choices—hoops or chandeliers. Wedge shoes are great for cute but comfortable wear. Manicure is a must, imho, a simple french manicure would suffice. Well done for all your self-improvement work! 💜

2020-07-11T16:22:40+00:00

I agree with the poster who made the comment about your internal transformation.

That being said, the best thing you can do for your appearance is to be physically healthy. Good quality healthy food 80% of the time and 20% you have a little fun. Drinking lots of water. Having a regular physical activity or exercise routine. A good skincare and hair care routine.

Grooming also helps but I find the other stuff is the base. I would look up Anna bey for some good tips on grooming and men.

Whateverbabe2 · 2020-07-11T18:38:53+00:00

Taking care of your appearance is nice but you don't have to become super high maintenance if it's not who you are.

I created a routine to make sure I was getting my exercise in, eating healthy, dressing well, etc. and then stopped worrying about it. As long as you are regularly taking care of yourself and meeting or exceeding your personal standards then you should save your energy to level up in more meaningful ways.

purasangria · 2020-07-11T12:59:45+00:00

Sis, I'm sorry to say, if you're over 40, don't expect to find anyone suitable for a relationship.

The men who are available and age appropriate want to date women in their 30s. You'll be hit on by men in their 50s and 60s.

Plan to spend the rest of you're life alone. It's not awful, it's fun to do exactly as you please. But don't expect to meet Mr wonderful; he doesn't exist.

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