I feel insecure

Applegooglepear · 2020-09-08T05:50:51+00:00

Say fuck you to all the noise in your head leading you to be insecure about your height!

I'm 5'11 and I love every inch of me.

Yes I was made fun of for being the tallest person in school.

Yes I've hit tree branches while riding a bike while trying to duck( LOL! Still cracks me up to this day)

Yes men said they wouldn't date me because I was too tall. ( It's not that I'm too tall, you're too short and I don't play little man games anyway )

But did any of that shit stop me ? Hell no!

And as many negative comments I received about my height. I also received an overwhelming amount of positive ones

Embrace your height dear, embrace all of you. You can not expect someone to embrace what you are hesitant to love and embrace yourself. You are 5'10 and beautiful and you better own every inch of that shit!

Mindard · 2020-09-08T05:52:51+00:00

I’m 5’10 and thick. It’s a blessing sis.

LVM will insult you because they have no chance with you. Pickmeishas will insult you because LVM rave on and on about long legs (eg tall women as we have long legs).

The only “disadvantage” would be that we are taller than most men. I mean, our offspring will always be taller than average.

It maybe depends where you live but 5’10 isn’t even that tall. I really wish I was 6’..

Pahapan · 2020-09-08T06:00:48+00:00

A lot of men are intimidated by tall women but those are not the type of men whose interest you want. Those are LOW VALUE MEN and you're better off never being approached by them. Embrace the qualities about you that act as built-in litmus tests. If a man is turned off by your height he is not the HVM you're deserving of.

5'10" is model height. Any girl making fun of you for your height doesn't want to acknowledge that the entire fashion industry is built around tall women and that models, widely celebrated worldwide as being incredibly attractive, are your height. Meanwhile these girls struggle to find clothes that work with their short proportions, otherwise they look dumpy. Women like Naomi Campbell and Gisele Bundchen would arguably not be nearly as striking if not for their height.

The older I get the more I realize that what I've heard since childhood is true, that what people choose to pick on you over is often a reflection of their own insecurities. And isn't it interesting how so many things that used to get picked on like black features, curvaceous bodies, and freckles (just to name a few) are now highly sought after? Now there are white Instagram models doing everything in their power to make themselves appear racially ambiguous. A lot of those same women probably mercilessly teased a black classmate for having Afro textured hair, back in the day.

A lion doesn’t concern herself with the opinion of sheep. Stop caring about what other people think about you and your body and focus on loving yourself, educating yourself, cultivating your talents, and enjoying your hobbies.

Struggleis4real · 2020-09-08T05:35:39+00:00

Sis, embrace your height. People are going to stare and comment for the rest of your life, you might as well own it and strut with your head high. Regardless of size, confidence will show when your chin is up, not down.

It sounds like you may want to practice in self-love and boosting your self worth. New activities and completing new projects can help boost confidence, and help validate your inner self. While height cannot be changed, your ability to brush off negative comments and stereotypes can be redirected to something healthier. Do not take ugly comments personal - these people are projecting their insecurities onto you and trying to take you down with them. Don’t let them!

I am the same height, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I love that I can command a room with my height, I give off the intimidation vibe, guys fuck with me less, and when I wear heels and look fashionable, I get asked often if I model. If someone doesn’t want to date this model, then its their loss! Believe it or not, people are attracted to us. (:

posprov · 2020-09-08T08:28:26+00:00

I am 5'10 too. Being tall does limit the amount of partners in the pool but I consider it a blessing in disguise.

Both men and women can be intimidated by tall women but that is not your problem. If they are so small minded to feel triggered by your height, then they are not worth your time. And those girls who laughed at you: the root of it was most likely jealousy but they would never admit that.

Like others have said, embrace your height and never ever: slump/slouch or forgo heels to make some shorter man to feel more comfortable beside you! Being tall is the best :-)

NotUrmillenial · 2020-09-08T07:10:30+00:00

Also a 5’11” gal, I understand growing up with the height shaming. I never had clothes that fit my legs either, my baggy poor-fitting outfits so didn’t help me not get bullied. As an adult working in corporate America now, I feel like height does help me come off as less “cute” and therefore a little more respected by some of the close minded folks (old men). 100% agree with what everyone already said about short insecure LVM being rude and weeding themselves out for us. Saves us time!

AverageToHot · 2020-09-08T05:26:10+00:00

I’m petite but I’d love to be 5’10. Rock it, girl! Lots of guys out there who prefer taller women.

2020-09-08T06:03:59+00:00

I’m 5’10. I know exactly what you mean.

Ogothorpe · 2020-09-08T12:07:58+00:00

Hello Sis, thought I would check in as I am 6'2, I have been this height since I was 13 and am now 35. I can't even begin to tell you the number of comments I get on the daily or the situations where I have been aggressively approached by men about my height. It is truly, beyond measure. When I was younger I used to not go out, because I couldn't deal with it.

I can tell you that this is not about you, society does not want Women to occupy space. I know that is hard to take in because all you are getting is the endless sea of comments, body languages, and constant messaging. If I can say it again for you, this is NOT about you although it is impacting you.

I will give you the advice my GMA gave me "when someone shows you who they are.. listen". So if you have some human (scrote) approach you and make a disparaging comment, "it's like the trash taking itself out..". Remove, block, and move on. Usually, other sisters have to vet to get these scrotes to show their true colours, you and I get to see them much sooner.

I however take a much more direct approach, but I recommend for you to block, remove, and move on.

kimikupkake · 2020-09-08T06:53:00+00:00

Would you want to date a guy who would instantly dismiss you bc of an unchangeable physical feature? They aren't intimidated, they just aren't interested. Be proud of your height, the right (HVM) guy will appreciate having an amazon gf

heliodrome · 2020-09-08T12:42:59+00:00

Whenever someone makes you feel insecure or says things about your height or anything remotely negative about you it’s because they acknowledge your power. Just remember that going forward. They only wish they were you.

creamtart_ · 2020-09-08T08:09:57+00:00

Stop seeking validation for your insecurities from men, and start seeking therapy to help you develop self-validation skills.

TheGoodie · 2020-09-08T07:49:32+00:00

Sis, you don’t need validation from men. You are beautiful just the way you are! Sheesh, I wish I was very tall. Those who have made fun of you were clearly immature. Ignore them and do you sis. 💖

emmawasadiver · 2020-09-08T05:20:35+00:00

5’10 is sexy as ! I’m the same height and I love it and have never let it get me down. If a man is going to be ‘intimidated’ by my height, or anything about me for that matter - he’s not the right guy for me. You’re a queen! :)

ello-motto · 2020-09-08T10:18:12+00:00

Girl, you don't want the affection from men who find you intimidating. Not all attention is actually valuable. Quality > Quantity.

The right man who can handle a tall girl and love her for all that she is, is the kind of man you should be going for. Stop focusing on the losers who are low value and insecure. Concentrate your efforts on the men who are worthy and appreciate a tall woman like you!

thedollparts · 2020-09-08T14:01:25+00:00

My cousin is about this height and she has no problems, but let me tell you the key:

If you are insecure and it shows in your body language, for some reason it's magnified when you're tall. You are a beautiful tree. You have to hold yourself upright with confidence. If you bend, if you look weak, it will show. I think it shows more readily than if you're short/little/insecure.

There are plenty of men who are your height and taller, they will not mind your height especially if your body is nice.

OWN your height. Wear clothes that make you look and feel good. Invest in help with that if you have to. Walk like you know people have to look up to you (literally and figuratively lol). Trust me, this makes a world of difference. When you're a tall woman you have to project confidence and self-assurance. Don't walk around with your shoulders hunched over like you stole something and you're trying to go unnoticed.

Like we always say here, most men are not for you anyway. So don't worry about the ones who are intimidated. They were NEVER for you. You still have a significant pool of men to choose from so don't worry about that either.

Layla-bg · 2020-09-08T15:24:55+00:00

Here is the thing. It doesnt matter how tall you are, how you look, or what you do. Women are always called too X or too Y, or not good enough at Z. No matter what you do and how you look, there will always be someone commenting on your appearance. That’s part of a life as a woman.

First, remember that other people comments are almost never about you. It’s about themselves. Calling you “too tall” will make their short/ugly self feel better about themselves, while belittling others. Or maybe your insecurity will make you settle for them, while they have nothing to offer you.

Secondly, do NOT base your value on how desired you are by men. Ask yourself- what makes you truly valuable? You being viewed as sex object/ good gf/wife or your values, your knowledge, your aspirations and your hard work?

Why do you want to find a bf? What value will he bring to your life? Besides going out and having fun, because you can do that with pretty much everyone. Have sex? As a woman, you can also get plenty of it if you need it. So what do you expect from a bf? Why do you need one? Why does it matter if you “dont find one” (spoiler alert: YOU are the prize, not them!)

Edit: I removed the original adjectives, as I didn’t realize we shouldn’t use them at all here.

imagoodchitchit · 2020-09-09T01:45:51+00:00

I'm 5'10".

Short or tall, the only men who have been weird about my height have been really insecure and not remotely at my level.

Be tall, wear heels, and the trash will take itself out.

KetoKittenAround · 2020-09-09T02:30:29+00:00

I’m 5’10.

Love your height!

If men are intimidated then it just means you have less LVM to sort through

Let the trash take itself out

not_a_femme · 2020-09-08T07:21:15+00:00

Whoever said that is a bum. Why should you feel insecure about your height? Cause it won't attract a man? Most of them suck anyway 🙄

You've got a model height and it's elegant. Anyone shaming you is just rude and stupid. People always have to say something shit about your body. If you were short then they would make fun of your weight or face. It's never good enough. So I wouldn't listen to them.

A man that will truly love you, won't care about your height. I'm 5'8 and my boyfriend is 5'4. We both don't care at all or feel insecure. So the whole "your height won't attract a man" is bullshit.

Edit: Sorry if saying "whoever said it is a bum" and it insulted one of your family members. I mean no disrespect towards them of course. But it still kinda stands. Family members should also not make you feel shitty about something you can never change about yourself.

Title	I feel insecure
Author	SnooGoats809
Upvotes	24
Comments	22
Date	September 8, 2020 2:18 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/iol97h/i_feel_insecure/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-feel-insecure.212190 https://theredarchive.com/post/212190

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