'Meet me in the middle'

Cross_Stitch_Witch · 2021-02-22T18:49:36+00:00

For my ex-husband, "meet me in the middle" looked like "I'll tolerate your military career. And in return for this generous sacrifice, I only demand that you pay all the bills because I don't want to work anymore, fund all my short-lived hobbies and weed addiction, give me children for my "legacy" but also feed, clothe, plan for and raise them, allow my friends over every day so they can smoke weed and play video games with me, clean our house, don't complain that I play video games 12 hours a day, and don't criticize me for dropping out of college twice.

Also I have $20k in credit card debt that I've hidden from you, but I have PTSD so you can't get mad. Also, please don't expect sex because asking anything whatsoever of me stresses me out.

But that's all I ask. C'mon, meet me in the middle here."

MagnfiqueMaleficent · 2021-02-22T19:39:00+00:00

Meet me in the middle means if he does one teeny, tiny, bare minimum thing for you this one time, you have to do something costly, time-consuming, and/or degrading in return until the end of time.

Not for me.

TheFinalGirl_21 · 2021-02-22T18:46:03+00:00

That’s pretty much the only option when it comes to being in a romantic relationship with a man. Compromise everything or lower your standards by at least half. The women who talk about how happy they are have trained themselves to be okay with what they’re getting.

CrazyPaine · 2021-02-22T19:14:05+00:00

You know a guy actually asked me was I picky with men and I said yes because I have to be picky and I will not lower my standards from anyone.

He said ok while rolling his eyes while I picked his brain to learn more about stocks and other passive income techniques.

MsBarbiePhd · 2021-02-22T18:56:57+00:00

In theory this seems like a fair strategy. But in practice it’s rarely equitable, especially in relationships.

The exception to this (personally) is when I’m dividing a workload with my female friends.

ASeaOfQuotes · 2021-02-22T18:42:03+00:00

Sounds like the mantra of a LVM. Equal is not always equitable.

shockingupdate · 2021-02-22T19:07:06+00:00

Sounds about right. LV/NV live to move the goalposts. It benefits them immensely

mzammy · 2021-02-22T19:07:07+00:00

I am NOT meeting anyone in the middle because I always give it my all. I want us both to give it our all.. lazy ass bum.

kingcasperrr · 2021-02-22T20:58:43+00:00

With my ex husband, meeting in the middle was me supporting him for 3 months financially on my teachers wage while he looked after his sick mum, then going on a 4 day drug binge when she was able to move back to her own home and I had to be ok with it because of the stress of caring for her.

Keep in mind, when I was home I was still doing the cleaning, and her care as well, not to mention the emotional outlet for everyone in his extended family. Plus all the outside of hours work that comes with teaching.

We split soon after that event.

kitkatnyc · 2021-02-22T19:12:57+00:00

It should be him-“Meet me in the middle” You- “no”

Sewud · 2021-02-22T21:20:03+00:00

There's also no guarantee that the man is even trying to be fair. You probably make a proposition that you think is fair for all parties, he probably makes a proposition that he thinks is a big disadvantage for you trying to sway you to accept a lesser disadvantage. Men aren't generous like women and they won't self-sacrifice to get you something better, they only act in their own interest.

Wildestrose1988 · 2021-02-22T22:36:23+00:00

I hate when people do this shit in the beginning of a relationship. If I've been with you for a long time compromise makes sense. If I'm just getting to know you and you already want me to compromise my personality and the things that matter to me then go date someone with a personality you like.... like a few tell me something fundamental to my character or my lifestyle bothers them. They'll try and be nice about it and then be all like "but you get it from my perspective right??" even though they're also telling me how wrong they know they are..

Why do I have to see it your way if you know you're wrong??? It's like some weird reverse gaslighting.

AmazonArtemis · 2021-02-23T01:17:04+00:00

It’s called “moving the goalposts.” Basically, every time you meet a requirement, they ask for more. Narcissist men love to use this tactic as an excuse to be perpetually dissatisfied with you, despite you taking the action to meet whatever (usually bullshit to begin with) request they’ve asked of you.

That’s a good quote to sum it up!

Turbulent_Gazelle · 2021-02-22T23:51:23+00:00

I read that for the first time like a year or so ago, I believe. And it helped me make huge strides in letting my rose colored glasses view of my NVM ex go. No matter what he promised, he would gaslight me later as if I didn't hear him say what I know he said. Just so he could do it again.

It took him abandoning me after I miscarried the child we tried for literally for over a decade to become pregnant with to finally leave him alone. There was no way I could ever forgive him. There were no more steps to take forward.

Interesting_Day1188 · 2021-02-22T21:32:30+00:00

This is deep.

karaokekiller · 2021-02-23T00:52:02+00:00

Sounds familiar.

Title	'Meet me in the middle'
Author	rumpleteaser91
Upvotes	323
Comments	34
Date	February 22, 2021 3:53 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/lprsdt/meet_me_in_the_middle/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/meet-me-in-the-middle.747921 https://theredarchive.com/post/747921

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