Being friends with a woman...

IronJohnMRA · 2021-02-28T16:45:48+00:00

I am sorry if mensright doesn't allow this kinds of posts.

Don't worry. We are here to help men. We get stories similar to yours everyday. Please make yourself welcome.

Reddit1984Censorship · 2021-02-28T16:21:27+00:00

Not all women will do that to you, but every single women CAN do that to you, so its not an irrational fear.
Treat it with respect is a real problem that needs a real solution is not ''in your head''.

thirdridge · 2021-02-28T19:16:25+00:00

Stories like this are 100% welcome. We appreciate them. I've never been through anything like this, but my brother and a close friend have been falsely accused by women so I can't help but think about protective measures.

When it comes to using my behaviors to socially protect myself from women that I need to be around, there's two general options: self-feminization and self-masculinization.

In my experience, women just aren't impressed, and can even have pointless contempt for men that are submissive or at all fearful of them. If they have any excuse to run you over, they will because they see you as passive enough to just take it. It's a problem if a woman feels safe in thinking she can do that.

I prefer to masculinize myself, meaning I'm relatively nonreactive to their words or actions. That way, in the back of their minds, there's always the threat of physical violence if they fall out of line. I don't behave in any way to explicitly suggest that, I just get into a mindset that they're irresponsible children that should be subtly judged for even slight missteps. Admittedly, being 6 ft tall, athletic, and pretty-faced helps with it.

This is overtly sexist, I know. But the predatory women that are out there will always go for the 'weak' men.

It sounds like you've been through hell, and for a very long time. The fact that you actually went to prison due to a false accusation... I can't imagine that. I'm not sure how useful this advice is considering you have PTSD but thought I'd mention it anyways. I hope you continue to recover and eventually live without fear.

JauntyKnight · 2021-02-28T21:53:06+00:00

You shouldn't even be ashamed of your fear, if even Henry Cavill, the Superman, has something like that. That's the world feminists want to live into and we have nothing to do except adapt or...

Best whishes to you

blueXcat · 2021-02-28T20:12:52+00:00

I'm a woman, and I can tell you it's not irrational. It's just handicapping

I was abused, and it always made my life difficult after

And if you were a woman who had been abused, no one would judge you for being fearful

I honestly advise to test women. Bring conversation about mra subjects. Same for guys who plan marriage. Ask those stuff first.

My fiancé wouldn't be marrying me if I wasnt taking "feminist" as an insult and going on angry tyrade about circumcision or fathers in the system justice

dontforgetyourshoes · 2021-02-28T16:18:37+00:00

I think this is as good as any place to post this kind of thing. Horrendous that you have had to go through all of that, with such a lack of support.

I'm really glad you're getting yourself back to where you need to be. Bad women and uncaring men may have damaged you, but there are good people too, I hope you keep encountering the latter. Good luck to you.

balanceofcatastrophe · 2021-02-28T22:35:25+00:00

As cliche as it is to say, you truly aren't alone. Being falsely accused is absolutely, completely traumatic for many people. It can feel and actually be live-ruining. Not to mention that being abused, abandoned, belittled etc by feminists and women alike is just as awful.

A lot of people's triggers are not considered "politically correct", and that's okay. If you feel uncomfortable around women because of trauma and because of the horrific experiences you've had with them, that's valid. (As long as you don't actively be sexist towards them, but I'm 100% sure you aren't that type of person.)

You aren't crazy. This doesn't make you bad. This subreddit is for sure on your side here.

Weirdo99003 · 2021-02-28T21:48:31+00:00

Sorry you went through that, but glad you're doing better.

I hate to encourage paranoia but please be careful. Not all women are like that but if she chooses to do so she can ruin your life.

Having seen my own father lose everything on a false accusation and become a shell of a man he once was I can tell you that it only takes one slip up for you to lose it all.

It's great that you're doing better but I'm asking you to be cautious. Avoid being alone, tell friends and family if/when you are going to hang out and digital records.

Not to be a jerk but to be careful.

cooltold12345 · 2021-03-01T02:10:36+00:00

I was in a relationship with a woman whom I confided in and decided to literally pour all my insecurities out and trust her. Within the span of 6 months, our relationship started as intense and loving to her ignoring me, and later finding out that she was cheating on me. While addressing her dismissive behavior near the end, she said something hurtful to me. She said I was the most 'fragile' man she has ever encountered.

That was the first time I ever truly confided in a woman about my emotions, fears and 'weaknesses'. It was also the last time I ever really did. It taught me a lesson. And the lesson is to be careful who you share yourself with.

Test your female and male friendships. And the biggest lesson of all, make sure you find out how he or she handles you when there is a conflict. Is she gonna throw you under the bus? Or is she gonna protect you?

Best of luck to all of us, and to all men who survived betrayal of trust!

Weirdo99003 · 2021-02-28T17:32:27+00:00

I really feel sad and sorry for you. I also feel really angry to stupid feminazis claiming guys like you are oppressing them............... seriously your testimony should be given more sound to feminists.

Asspants22 · 2021-02-28T21:57:48+00:00

Can you list the subreddits that removed your previous posts about this?

DubsPackage · 2021-03-01T00:21:59+00:00

You're far from the only man who feels that way.

Even alot of professional men, doctors, lawyers, etc refuse to be in a room alone with a woman.

Anybody can make "allegations" and it destroys your career and livelihood.

Most women are good people, trustworthy and honest.

It's the feminist political system that we live under that makes it dangerous for men.

Weirdo99003 · 2021-03-01T01:04:00+00:00

Dude...my OWN wife has accused me of rape to get a leg up in family court...yes my OWN wife....Spent $180k so far in legal fees to defend against her lies...

/r/falserapeaccusations

__Vandetta__ · 2021-03-01T01:15:28+00:00

Look man, last year in April when I was still 17 I lost my job to a false SH allegation after I said no to a girl who tried to come onto me. - I was working at a supermarket too.

It didn't go any further than that but it was a shit experience which put me in a very dark headspace for months. I'm still kinda there but that's more directed towards evil peopke now rather than myself. Pair that with the abusive girlfriend my Father had when I was 3-6 and well now you know my frame of mind.

I'm certain now that I could have pushed a case of unfair dismissal to fair work and won but I didn't because I almost imminently fell into a deep depression and my mindset was everything is useless. I now also despise the phrase "Hope and Love" and have replaced them with "Compassion and Determination" so there's that.

I'll never ever trust Women after that, I don't care how nice or respectful they are to me, I'll never trust'em.

Plus I read up on the UNs 30 SH conditions yesterday and realised that over half of them can be easily manipulated to support a Woman's lies, so that's pissed me off.

And understanding that every workplace is governed by those easily manipulatable conditions I'm thinking of just doing freelance work, whether that remains legal work or turns into something more is up to me. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Look I believe Mens rights need to be acknowledged but they just aren't and are being more and more denied.

If they could be acknowledged, that would benefit the majority of Men who just want to live a fairly peaceful life. I used to want a peaceful life but not after that, not anymore.

We-are-Thoth · 2021-02-28T16:49:44+00:00

I wouldn’t trust them.. you sound like you’ve been through a lot of trauma man..

coming2grips · 2021-02-28T21:54:21+00:00

I can relate to your story, stay strong

redFenning22 · 2021-03-01T04:10:40+00:00

You should write up a timeline of the events and red flags you saw and share with. Allow others to contribute their knowledge so we can raise awareness of these issues.

bison_breakfast · 2021-03-01T05:44:21+00:00

I’m sorry for your experience but and important step in overcoming trauma is to learn to trust/allow yourself to trust the other person while also setting clear boundaries.

This means, you need to communicate your fears and some of your issues with the women you’re close too, if they’re good friends, they’ll understand and it would be a heart to heart talk.

I recently made female friend and we spent time talking about our pasts. Mine includes some abusive relationships where I was the victim of physical and verbal abuse. It instilled a fear of dating and women in me to where I would shake/try to avoid women in the street.

My current female friend has helped me work through it (with some therapy). You need to open up and be vulnerable how you feel

Jurritoboi · 2021-03-01T14:54:14+00:00

Hopefully you can get the therapy you need so you’ll be mentally healthier if that’s the right phrasing idk

AccidentallyBorn · 2021-02-28T21:44:44+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Prince_Austino · 2021-02-28T18:59:37+00:00

Gynophobia is a real thing.

AnnaMae1991 · 2021-03-01T04:15:24+00:00

This breaks my heart... I'm so sorry you went through that man. Thats fucked up.

You know its "funny". We have this bad habit of thinking all men are always tough aka thick skinned & emotionless (which ironically is a problem for feminists) and we don't think about the fact that they have feelings, sensitivities, fears, etc too.

Even I fall into this sometimes, especially since my partner is so patient & stoic like, he seems to just handle everything even when I'm being a total brat, and seeing him emotional or realizing I actually upset/bothered/annoyed/triggered him always comes as a shock & I feel like a complete ass.

Idk where I'm going with that, it was just a thought. But I truly am sorry for what you've been through and I just want to say - You're not crazy for being paranoid about women. Its hit or miss these days whether they'll be a harmless, genuine person or a predatory life ruining bitch. I don't have any advice really, I just wanted to tell you that, that you're not crazy. ❤

Contrarian_Eh · 2021-02-28T17:08:34+00:00

Women... can't live with em, pass the beer nuts

Greenglitteringshore · 2021-02-28T23:49:11+00:00

Abandonment by feminists? That's not a core tenet of feminism to abandon people just to traumatize them. Why did you make this about feminism, when it is actually about abandonment and the trauma associated with a false rape accusation?

cistacea · 2021-03-01T04:05:24+00:00

Be my friend too!

redFenning22 · 2021-03-01T04:09:16+00:00

The legal system devalues the term criminal when they falsely convict people. I've known men falsely accused and women that have made very questionable accusations (very very questionable). Its just a sign of the times.

Criminal convictions mean nothing. Tell your story loud and proud.

Do you think the police knew it was fake or very questionable? They need to be held to account for allowing false accusations to go unchecked. Someone needs to put them in check.

343-guilty-mendicant · 2021-03-01T11:08:27+00:00

Honestly kinda feel the same way, I want to make female friends but at this point is it even worth the risk?

One accusation is all it takes.

2021-03-01T16:53:21+00:00

Well, I guess you can be friends with a girl, but you have to be careful not to do everything for her which a boyfriend does. Like a lot male friends will waste their life talking to a girl, giving her free attention, and being her emotional tampon. They waste so much time in the day texting a girl who doesnt even find them attractive, giving her all the benefits of a boyfriend and taking her out and the only difference is that they dont smash.

LegendaryEmu1 · 2021-03-02T13:47:22+00:00

I think you're fine posting this, glad you made a good friend dude. Friends will come over time, no need to rush.

Its best to not let fear control you, I don't rightly know what prison is like, hopefully i never do. Life's tough without fear though, no need to make it more difficult.

Title	Being friends with a woman...
Author	Weirdo99003
Upvotes	720
Comments	77
Date	February 28, 2021 4:13 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/lujlti/being_friends_with_a_woman/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/being-friends-with-a-woman.1192094 https://theredarchive.com/post/1192094

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