The topic of validation-seeking behaviors come up a lot in the pillosphere. I included some of my observations beneath either question, but I welcome additions or disagreements.

1.) Is it wrong for men to seek validation?

The topic of men seeking validation seems to mostly come up from men themselves, generally speaking on other things they crave from women other than merely sex. I don't see much criticism for it, though it's often spoken of as something men don't get enough of.

2.) Is it wrong for women to seek validation?

I mostly see this topic come up from RP men criticizing behaviors in women. It points fingers at things like girls on Instagram and Facebook making posts that men consider "attention seeking", or "plates" sending "needy texts" asking for affirmations that they're attractive.

Observations: Men seem to bring up "validation-seeking" behavior more than women. These same men seem more forgiving of men seeking validation than women. It seems to be agreed by most terps that "men need validation" and "women shouldn't be validated".

There's a number of definitions for validation, but I feel in these circumstances, it falls under either of these two:

val·i·da·tion

  • The action of checking or proving the validity or accuracy of something.

  • Recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile.

(Age/Gender/Pill if you're willing to say. Just curious if there's any correlations with consensus.)