Q4ALL: How does ASD (specifically, high-functioning) affect each gender's dating prospects?

Electra_Cute · 2019-02-20T01:05:23+00:00

I imagine it makes dating more difficult because people on the spectrum tend to have poor social skills and that is part of dating.

Planetof12 · 2019-02-20T02:49:45+00:00

For women, no effect. Just find a stem nerd and you're good to go. Odds are, your ASD makes you immune to the charms of a Chad anyway.

For men, you can basically deduct 2 from your SMV. When you have ASD any time you interact with a normie they're constantly thinking "the fuck?"

Women don't like to be thinking "the fuck?" when dating.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2019-02-20T01:38:05+00:00

I'm actually on the spectrum and I've been mostly fine, but I've also been in an LTR for 4.5 years, since like, right after I turned 19. It really is case to case. Some people are worse at compensating for the social difficulties it causes, and some are literally unable to.

Edit: I will say this, for someone who is high functioning, there is no reason you cannot learn behaviors that most other people naturally pick up on. It might not come across naturally, but there are methods to deal with it. I also had years of therapy. That shit is a process, but it can be done.

I barely dated before college fwiw, but I had a whole host of other issues that made it difficult to date at all. My first experiences were rough and then I figured it out. The ability to learn really is where someone on the autism spectrum can make up some of the deficiencies that are common.

KikiYuyu · 2019-02-20T01:53:18+00:00

I'm on the spectrum, and it's been pretty socially crippling. Don't make eye contact, get nervous just making conversation, almost never meet new people... I'm trying to fix it.

CamoWoobie10 · 2019-02-20T03:11:05+00:00

I would assume it effects men to a much bigger extent than woman.

I feel like the average woman already has a huge leg up on the average man when it comes to social awareness and ability to leverage it.

An autistic man vs the average woman is like a collegiate football player tackling a middleschool player at full force. He barely stands a chance. Not saying it's impossible for an autistic guy to get laid if they make up for it in other ways, depends how bad they have it.

AutoModerator · 2019-02-20T01:01:37+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

yasee · 2019-02-20T01:55:06+00:00

I have one anecdote about this

my brother has ASD. he struggled in his teens before finding his social niche (in his case the punk scene) and hasn't had trouble getting dates since. he has challenges in other areas, though

waywarddancer · 2019-02-20T01:59:39+00:00

I have two guy friends with (confirmed) high functioning autism irl. Both are actually pretty attractive. One is a club swimmer and the other power lifts. They definitely get approaches but their mannerisms and ticks kinda turn girls off. The power lifter is extremely talkative to the point where you can barely get a word in once he goes on one of his tirades, the other one is a slender pretty boy type but is very quiet, avoids eye contact, and does this weird thing with his eyes if you do manage contact. I would honestly date either of them if they asked, but it would take...some getting used to. Are you aware of any specific quirks that go along with your ASD?

equanimous_samsara · 2019-02-20T01:30:01+00:00

Autism, due to its various issues, renders me unsexy.

Hate to break it to you like this, but autism has become a euphemistic way for adults to say "you're a moron" while sounding like they have some academic credibility. Ironically, I would wager a good number of them wouldn't hesistate to self-identify as kind-hearted and tolerant people.

Sorry your disorder is used as a slur, but there it is. On top of everything else, the added stigma doesn't bode well for your dating. Good luck!

[deleted] · 2019-02-20T07:08:27+00:00

And here I thought this thread was about anti slut defense

DaphneDK42 · 2019-02-20T13:46:33+00:00

Just find a foreign wife. You might be totally off and weird, but she'll never notice because she doesn't know how to read such clues, and will just write it off as you being from another weird culture.

321PK · 2019-02-20T01:22:26+00:00

Idk if anybody can really answer this. Can’t you fake it?

whatdidshewrite · 2019-02-20T02:53:15+00:00

As a sociopath, I don’t experience “love” in the colloquial sense. When I like someone, I just like having them around me all the time - kind of like a tiny kitten on your shoulder. It makes me happy, but it’s not romantic. All my previous relationships ends because I couldn’t reciprocate the way they felt to me.

elf_knife_love · 2019-02-20T09:56:11+00:00

Kind of hard to answer.... since autism is not a disease per say.

If someone who is "on the spectrum" is highly successful at interacting with people they are no longer "on the spectrum".

So, it's kind of circular to ask if autism is unhelpful to your social relationship since your social skills are a big part of how we diagnose autism...

Planetof12 · 2019-02-20T14:34:31+00:00

Autism, even HFA/Asperger's, is obviously gonna have a negative effect on your romantic relationships. I've known aspie girls and they also seem "off" just like guys do. They have better natural social skills even despite being autistic, but they still think logically, take things literally, miss social cues, and as a result stand out as "weird" regardless. They seem more likely to get "pumped and dumped" when they do look for relationships.

That said, mild forms of autism can be worked around. It becomes easier to appear normal as you get older and pick up on how normies around you socialise. That's why I don't think incels who use Asperger's as an excuse are being legit.

Planetof12 · 2019-02-24T14:22:55+00:00

I feel like half of reddit says they are on the autism spectrum.

I’m so confused by that

Title	Q4ALL: How does ASD (specifically, high-functioning) affect each gender's dating prospects?
Author	Planetof12
Upvotes	6
Comments	105
Date	February 20, 2019 1:01 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ashvr5/q4all_how_does_asd_specifically_highfunctioning/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-how-does-asd-specifically-high-functioning.257108 https://theredarchive.com/post/257108

Comments