Weekly Self-Reflection Thread: 13/10/15

vermelhyou · 2015-10-15T12:08:41+00:00

I've been horrible on my sleep hygeine, which has a spillover effect into affecting my workouts as well as concentration during the day. Started making baby steps last night including not sleeping with my phone or using my phone in bed.

I've done better with trusting my partner, though. Our emotional intimacy and communication is better than it's ever been.

sunhappydc · 2015-10-13T18:50:52+00:00

This week is starting off really good.

Dating: Seeing an older man (44 y.o.) with a lot of potential and I'm really happy so far! He's much older than I would have planned to date otherwise, but everything about him is really what I'm looking for. Confident, communicative, handsome, humorous, affectionate, good career, family/marriage oriented, etc. Hope it blossoms into something beautiful and meaningful (aka marriage!).

Work: I'm trying to be focus on being more productive at work. Not just in terms of projects and assignments, but cutting back on gossip and negatively. I feel that it weighs me down. Sometimes it's hard because work can get tiresome but I think it helps create a certain outlook that I don't want to give off anymore. So working on positive thinking, positive outcomes!

Diet/Exercise: I'm REALLY trying to get back to 115-118. I'm currently 121 as of yesterday. When I was younger, weight didn't bother me as much but at 27, I bloat really easier, especially around that time of the month. I had a weak moment today and had a grilled cheese sandwich but I hope to get back on track during dinner. I'm also working on walking to and from work to get some exercise in. Today is a late day so I'll probably hit the gym as soon as I get home and do 4 miles on the treadmill.

Financial: It's been so hard with the holidays coming up and having to buy winter clothes. Plus with school I find myself eating out more than cooking my own meals. I'm working to get a rhythm and find ways of cutting back on spending on small and frivolous things.

Beauty/Hair: It's been really nice not having to do my hair these last few weeks. I am currently wearing braids and I love them. Very low maintenance. However, I do miss my natural curls some days. I may keep them in until Thanksgiving and them replace them with something less thick. Not sure yet.

Goals for the upcoming week:

continue using my daily planner to stay on top of my to-do list
work on cultivating a feminine mindset for the guy I'm seeing (Thanks /u/Camille11325 )
stay on top of my daily calorie deficits and macros every day
study at least 2 hours every evening for classes

whistling_dixie · 2015-10-13T18:14:06+00:00

I've taken on too many projects/goals, and it's starting to overwhelm me. I'm trying to help my cousin relocate in an effort to keep her off drugs, doing pro bono work with the courts, and making an effort to deploy new software at work which will include creating a usage policy, how-to guides, and various help resources for users.

I've done well (for the most part, I think) keeping it from impacting our relationship, but I need to make a plan here soon to add some more structure to these projects and keep them on track so things don't fall by the side.

But, I think I've done a really good job with keeping up with the housework despite all of this, have been trying new recipes and bringing back old ones from retirement, and keeping my emotions in check. And on top of all of that, I have not let baseball ruin our relationship, even though those damned Cubs are really putting a damper on my Red October. :)

Beach_Baby · 2015-10-13T19:59:54+00:00

I deactivated Facebook again because I really started to feel like I was falling down the rabbit hole of compulsively checking. I found myself in a Mom's group, which is basically just an online hen party of women being ridiculously bitter toward their SOs and other women.. Unfortunately my dearest friend is the admin, and while she's unknowingly quite RP, she can't control what's said by other women so she just kind of lets it go without adding to it. I actually had to stop getting notifications because the amount of negativity in there was crippling and I end up hate-reading it. During all of this it occurred to me most of my time on Facebook is spent reading things that feed me mental poison for sport. I think I'm over it at this point.

I've changed my fitness and nutrition program because I felt it was needed. I'll know pretty quickly if I made the correct changes, because my attitude will improve exponentially.

This week I'm working on becoming gentler in a feminine way. I'm practicing speaking softly and handling objects as if they all cost thousands of dollars (a tip I learned from a blog).

With my man I've been encouraging his inner gladiator. We've been watching the Spartacus series on Netflix and it's been exciting both of us. He's been lifting heavier and it's pushing me to work harder as well.

Btw, I'm really loving this idea for an accountability thread.

Eucalyptus-mint · 2015-10-13T19:02:24+00:00

I'm actually really excited about this thread! Accountability definitely helps.

So last week I said I was dealing with erratic/late-but-I-knew-it-was-eventually-coming period and I luckily got it this past week. My mood regulates itself pretty quickly after a day or so into it, so I luckily did not have to deal with fighting my pms in addition to my hamster. So much better with communication and making sure my partners needs were met! He just left for a friends house with a quick sandwich for the road and some quick intimacy beforehand.
I'm still struggling with the phone thing. I can delete whatever apps I want but I can still log into things through my browser. My SO has also gotten into the bad habit of being on his phone a lot from me and I let it influence and justify my reasoning to be on mine. I definitely need to still work on this.
I have been in "maintenance mode" regarding my health. Taking care of things that need to be taken care of and keeping things unchanging but not improving on things that should be improved upon. This week I got back into running and I am hoping to keep on it.
I need to work on not letting things get to me. We live with my SOs parents at the moment and his parents are either extremely passive aggressive or just somewhat aggressive. It bothers me and I know it bothers my SO, but it is not a situation we can currently change due to finances. The passive aggression gets under my skin and I stew on it and occasionally complain to SO. We both know they do it, we both know they are generally good people with some annoying tendencies, but letting it bother me is unproductive.

Overall, it has been a better week than last but there is still room for improvement! :-)

RPhchon · 2015-10-14T03:20:25+00:00

I've been struggling. I need to diet but I've been very unmotivated. I have a two month old baby, I gained 50lbs with my pregnancy and I have lost 40, but my body is looking pretty depressing. A friend of my husband's died, and I am being as soft and supportive as I can. He wants to host an event to benefit his family and I am doing what I can to help. I posted about my husband and I getting into a fight about going out drinking, and we got into another fight about him being out with his friends until the wee hours of the morning without telling me. I'm sick of the drinking, partying, and the lack of consideration. I decided however that I will never bring it up again, and instead lead by example. On top of that I will just expect him to go out every night after work, that way if he does not, I will be happy, instead of being let down every time he does. (We live in a tourist destination and he works in the main tourist area, with a bunch of young people, and they don't get off work until midnight-2am, so it's a breeding ground for wildness.) I was pleasantly surprised that he has only gone out once since and warned me ahead of time not to wait up, then came home sober. So that's an improvement, on top of my improved attitude.

All in all I'm kinda bummed out lately. Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer.

xoamy · 2015-10-13T21:40:48+00:00

University: I've been motivated on catching up with all my classes and keeping on top of all the reading, however this has meant skipping classes in favour of staying in my PJs and opening up the lecture online and going through it which means I'm missing out on meeting new classmates. I have packed my bag for tomorrow and even though the content is something I have already studied I will go purely to put myself out there in the World.
I caught reflection of myself yesterday when out shopping and saw myself through fresh eyes and realised that I have gained weight from stress-eating. So I need to try and reel that in and plan healthier meals to fit into my busy schedule.
Whilst out shopping I was served by an incredibly feminine women. She was probably twice my age but she conducted herself in such a feminine way that it startled me. One thing I noticed was her hair was beautifully styled almost like Kate Middleton and she had glossy painted nails. I want to start painting my nails more often and experimenting with different hairstyles.

lovely1985 · 2015-10-14T05:04:58+00:00

I started working out this week, hopefully next week I can report that i'm still doing it!

fhigurethisout · 2015-10-14T06:24:38+00:00

Late to post this. It was a busy day.

Relationships: Let my PMS/emotional side come out and was pretty crabby to my sister. Got emotional over boyfriend not reciprocating an "i love you" text when he was having a bad day. Trying new birth control, but I knew in both these instances i was being irrational. Makes me irritated to admit these things, since I was totally aware of them and it was preventable. my sister didn't take it too well and tried adding fuel to the fire, rightfully so i suppose. but my partner is amazing and comforted me when i didn't really deserve it lol

Exercise & health: Not daily this week. I want to get this back starting tomorrow morning. It needs to happen in the early morning and get done for the day. Sleeping patterns have been wonky, i've been sleeping long periods, up to ten hours...that actually makes me feel quite gross. I've been sleeping in until 9AM some days, and I used to be a 5-6AM person. I just feel exhausted/tired all the time lately..not good. Ok, ok, my diet hasn't been the greatest either between Thanksgiving and being irresponsible.

Career & finance: Behind on a few projects. Not giving them my full efforts. Feeling crunched for time. On the contrary, i saved a solid amount of money this month---but a little too pre-emptively, so I'm quite strapped for cash now. However, I read more on investing and have made some investments. Happier on the progress in this area.

Overall feels:

Still sorting out the aftermath of moving out and car getting hit
Feeling crunched for time with projects
Moody...PMS week..failed to control my hamster
Wishing I was more useful/helpful to partner; things are stressful for him too
Sleepy most of the time, perhaps correlated to new birth control and less working out
So many little errands and annoyances, cat is sick, expenses everywhere
Skin is breaking out too, hooray (diet?)
At least I am saving money and learning about investments
Why am I not using my daily planner?

Overall goals to address feels:

Get up earlier, work out first thing in the morning, get ready for the day (don't sit and do work in your pajamas)
Make some sort of meal plan
Don't let the little things take priority, focus on big things (projects)
Be helpful to partner, cook something or help in some way
Just use caffeine for now to get through the fatigue, if problem persists, go to doc
Budget to replenish some skincare products and stick to your regimen
PLAN OUT YOUR WEEK. Plan out your month. Get reacquainted with your goals. Stop thinking you don't need a planner, you really REALLY do.

mamisobres · 2015-10-14T06:40:18+00:00

Can anyone do this?

JanuaryRPW · 2015-10-14T10:16:15+00:00

It's great to read all your reflections, ladies! I'll be keeping an eye on these posts, I love seeing your progress and lessons learned. :)

Boyfriend

With the big aspects of the relationship going well, I'm now focusing on the little things as well.

We like to spend the majority of our time together in the room, each on our own computer. As I drink lots of water, I have to go to the bathroom every two or three hours.

Now, in the spirit of being a nice, pleasant girlfriend, I've started a new habit. Every time before I get up to go, I look at my boyfriend and ask: "Hey darling, would you like a drink or anything else from the kitchen?". Most of the time, the answer is yes and he gets so glad I asked!

Aside from the physical and mental health benefits of staying hydrated and well-fed, I do this because I love to see him happy and pleased with my initiative.

Work

I am self-employed in the freelance business services industry. As such, I get assignments from my clients over the internet, for which I choose my own hours.

In the two years I've been doing this, my own procrastination has always been the main bottleneck holding me back. Many times I'd put off the work until close before the deadline, put in a focused burst of hard work, and finish the assignment just in time.

There is absolutely no need to procrastinate other than my own reluctance to do stuff I don't feel like doing. When the assignment is too large to complete in one sit, I mess up my sleep pattern and become grumpy and anxious. That makes this a destructive habit I want to get rid of.

This week there was a large supply of work on offer, so I took it. I slacked off on my resolve and completed about half of the assignments the old way, but sent in the other half of the work way before the deadline. Boyfriend was very supportive, and every time he praised me for getting on with it.

It's an amazing feeling to know that the man I love, is proud of me.

Kittenkajira · 2015-10-14T17:26:01+00:00

Demeanor: I did have one big failure followed by success, I think. I said something stupid which got his hackles up. I realized that I was ramping up for an epic PMS argument and said something like "I shouldn't have said that. It's clearly something that I handled wrong because it made you start to defend yourself. I'm sorry, and I won't bring it up again." He said thank you and smiled, and all was pleasant in our household again.

I keep catching things I've said that were a subtle dig or criticism. I'm assuming that I'll eventually be better at catching them BEFORE they leave my mouth. Or other times when I just could have said something better. I'm one of those hindsight people who think of the perfect thing to say like hours later.

Weight loss: I managed to maintain while on vacation, and jumped right back on calorie counting and exercise when I returned. No further loss this week, but it's period week.

Hair: I got my first ever devacurl cut and I'm so happy with it! My hair looks much healthier now, and it's more manageable when down. I have a new hair routine that I'm learning. My goal is to have hair as long as possible while still looking healthy.

WhimsicalWonderland · 2015-10-14T17:47:31+00:00

Been extremely slacking on exercising and eating healthy. I can do great during the week when it's just my SO and I, but whenever weekends come and we're hanging out with other people, it all goes to shit.

Been trying to trust him more and more and being patient. If he says that he will do it, then I should let him work on it.

On the good side, we have been really focusing on our financial planning and been on top of our savings goals. We're tackling our debts and saving up for our upcoming wedding. I've been keeping up with everything around the house under his lead of managing our time better.

claudiuscrab · 2015-10-14T17:54:37+00:00

Thank you it was a lovely Thanksgiving :) The colours here are gorgeous! Over this past week, my look has completely u-turned. Thanks to Pinterest and this forum, I feel feminine and comfortable in my skin which hasn't happened in a long time. I'm getting compliments and people are noticing who have seen me in my more casual days to put it nicely. Perfecting this short hair is my next goal and getting my weight and muscle tone to exactly how I like it. I enjoyed a lot of food at Thanksgiving so feel a bit bloated even today so will work on getting to the gym. I'm going on a date soon (yay!) with a prospective masculine man which I am looking forward to. My skin is crap. I am covered in bed bug bites from sleeping at my sister's and I am itchy. I need to carry on with my blog.. why didn't I this week? lazy Would have liked to go to church but didn't make it. Work is going well, I am socializing and getting along with my coworkers more. Would like to carry on with cooking daily instead of just 2-3 times per week.

SpellthiefLux · 2015-10-16T19:28:02+00:00

Hello, ladies! I've decided to get my life back on track and so far, I'm feeling better!

After a lot of support from my boyfriend, I've decided to see a counselor for my depression. My parents never believed in treating nor diagnosing mental illness, so my adolescent years were tough. It took a lot of persuasion, but I finally ended up talking to a counselor and I managed to get a lot of bottled up emotions and negativity off my chest! We've set up regular appointments and hopefully, I won't have the will to kill myself every week anymore. :)

I'm trying to be more productive at work. I just started a job a couple weeks ago, and the girl who was supposed to be training me is never here, so I'm usually sitting around doing nothing. Over the course of the week, I managed to get three whole projects done by myself with the help of a fellow co-worker who had seen me struggling and offered to help.

Fitness-wise, I decided to hit the gym up more frequently after my parents came up to my college to visit. They let me stuff my face because I'm a starving college student, but in return, I was less motivated to work out. I'm back in the gym and working towards my goal to lose 8 pounds before I graduate!

I'm having a great week and I just got the realization that these threads are making me a lot more goal-oriented! Keep up the motivation, ladies :)

Title	Weekly Self-Reflection Thread: 13/10/15
Author	fhigurethisout
Upvotes	7
Comments	29
Date	October 13, 2015 5:04 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/3olw2l/weekly_selfreflection_thread_131015/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/weekly-self-reflection-thread-131015.85673 https://theredarchive.com/post/85673

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