Who you belong to - discussion

emmalai85 · 2022-01-27T19:47:01+00:00

I see me as being his, and he's mine.

I see my children as borrowed. I get the pleasure of being their mom and raising them, but they do not belong to me, and will grow up and have their own life. They are "our" children. We raise them together.

I like when he's possessive of me and pulls my hair and says i'm his, like the historical romance novels I read growing up, nothing like a sexy pirate ravishing his lady love. LOL

lookylolo · 2022-01-27T19:30:32+00:00

I feel my family and I all belong to each other. But not in the sense that we are owning each other. More like I want to belong to him and my kids, he wants to belong to us, and (so far) our kids want the same.

Anonymous_fiend · 2022-01-27T20:26:23+00:00

I am his and he is mine. And everything we own and our (future) children are ours.

2022-01-28T03:42:27+00:00

I don't really use words like "belong" or "mine" to describe our household. Nothing against it, it just wouldn't have occurred to me to put it that way. We certainly love and cherish each other, and have duties and responsibilities toward each other - but I wouldn't have called myself his, or called him mine except in the normal way of referring to "my husband." Same for the kids, really.

Those of you who do talk that way - what does it mean to you?

Strixt · 2022-01-27T19:54:41+00:00

Government entities - they see marriage as a contract. Their is ownership of belongings and financial but it is split 50/50 usually unless their is bias of some sort. They see parents as owning their children. Well that is how it was 10+ years ago. This has been eroded over time now as the nanny state and schools seem to as of recently believe they should be able to teach your children what they want and how without any input from parents. And more but I’d rather not derail.

Philosophically - everyone feels differently. Some want to be owned by their partners. That could be their kink, they could enjoy the freedom of not making choices they wish to not be bothered by. They trust their partner so much they prefer and enjoy them taking the lead. They may feel biblically where they are no longer one but a three fold cord linked together. There is no separation between the husband and wife as they are together in unison and of one body, mind, and soul. The last one is my favorite. As it means a eternal bond that should never be broken. And to care for your partner is to care for your own flesh.

A funny comedian I have heard in a skit said one of his favorite sayings is “That’s my Wife!” Because it feels grown up and important.

I disagree with your moms point of view personally. I want this person to be “my” spouse and I want myself to be theirs. I don’t want anyone else and I want my significant other to feel the same.

anothergoodbook · 2022-01-27T22:52:28+00:00

We belong to each other. (“I am my beloved’s and he is mine”) Our kids are ours. We look at most things we own as belonging to both of us.

CigarettesandAsh · 2022-01-28T01:50:06+00:00

This is a very interesting topic that I hadn't thought of before. Thank you for posing the question!

For a bit of background, my husband was already a 1%er before he ever met me. So I didn't contribute to his life in any way while he was grinding and making himself successful.

So for all the physical objects, I feel like they belong to him. Legally they definitely do, as he provides 100% of our income. Even the house he bought after we were married for a few years - I feel that it belongs to him, and I am just a guest. And to that extent, I feel that way in our marriage. Everything that I am able to do - the time I spend volunteering, the time and money I spend on therapy, clothes, etc. - is because he has chosen to share this fabulous lifestyle with me where I am provided for and can very few restrictions on what I can and cannot do. I owe my lifestyle to this man, but I don't feel like he owns me. I could walk away from him (and the house, and the freedom to not work, etc) at any moment. But he treats me so kindly and with so much affection and kindness that I choose to stay. And to be honest, if I genuinely felt that he owned me, I think that would make me want to flee (I'm not knocking anyone who feels that way and is happy, that's just my own psyche talking for me).

The other way around, I know that he is not mine. He could easily find someone more attractive, who cleans better, who could actually cook, who is more intelligent and kinder and miles better than I am in every way. But my husband is the kind of man who sees what he has before him and is happy with what he has, and for some reason he's happy with me. He chooses to stay with me because apparently I bring something to the table. Perhaps if I had been there for his grinding phase I'd feel differently.

We don't have kids, but we do have two cats, one of which is bonded to him and one of which is bonded to me. I do feel like I own my cat (but not his).

reticentfemininity · 2022-01-28T03:49:06+00:00

It depends on mood really and is always said in jest. Sometimes it is my room, my bed, my kids other times its all his. But we always belong to each other.

boofthegirl · 2022-01-28T02:42:09+00:00

I’m his, he’s mine and everything else in the house (including kids and animals) is “ours”. Our finances are 1000% combined and therefore also “ours”.

Obviously, there’s a few exceptions such as if he uses MY expensive shampoo that takes 2 weeks to ship to our house because rural area then I will end his life - simples. That is MINE lmao

Charles_Sebastian · 2022-01-28T05:14:55+00:00

Your ordering was correct. Everything in our marriage -- kids, home, cars, bank account -- belongs to my wife and she belongs to me. That's sets up a dynamic where she is dominant over pragmatic aspects our life but submissive in our martial bond.

Its also helps that she has been stay-at-home since well before we were married and has strong opinions about the ordering of domestic life. While I am more emotionally invested in work and generally equanimous about that kind of stuff.

The one exception here is that I do have a trading account which I think of a mine, mentally-emotionally I think of that as more like work because the goal is to make more money rather than spend it optimally.

bekkys · 2022-01-28T12:08:53+00:00

Maybe "belong with", not "belong to".

2022-01-28T17:50:23+00:00

Everything under this roof is ours.

ladida1321 · 2022-01-27T18:59:28+00:00

I don’t feel that people can “belong” to anyone. There is no ownership over a human being in my opinion.

Things can belong to people.

2022-05-03T16:17:50+00:00

and Mimi belongs to Pop.

Fun question. In how many languages is the word for husband and the word for ownner, the same word?

I'm going to guess, that at least one language is like this. Probably several...

My mother firmly assured me that she did not belong to Pop. She would have to think about whether Pop belonged to her and me and my siblings do belong to her but not to Pop.

What's her reasoning for this?

Is your stuff yours, his or ours? Are you his? Is he yours? Do the kids belong to both of you or just you?

Hmm... good question that I should really think through at some point. My - of the top of my head - answer is: his ownership of me, the family and the house etc, is commensurate with his responsibility towards us.

In other words: because he has the most responsibility, is why he has the most ownership. It's also why I defer to his decision making. It's why he gets the final say.

Title	Who you belong to - discussion
Author	girlwithasidecar
Upvotes	15
Comments	18
Date	January 27, 2022 6:51 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/se5ld8/who_you_belong_to_discussion/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/who-you-belong-to-discussion.1097233 https://theredarchive.com/post/1097233

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