Separate Beds

vin9889 · 2022-08-28T07:43:02+00:00

I wish separate beds would be normal!

Can’t sleep at the same time every night!

CCloudds · 2022-08-28T06:24:39+00:00

If he is sexting talking to other women leave him. You guys really need to have a talk cause the way you said FK it seems like you are not happy with the situation. Don't torture yourself girl. I an assuming you don't have any kids with him. It's the best time to leave.

LadySandcastle · 2022-08-28T11:06:13+00:00

Are you assuming he's cheating just because you both sleep in separate beds? That's a stretch. Separate beds can be a practical solution to a lot of issues. I will move over to the spare room if my husband is keeping me up somehow (sneezing from allergies/tossing and turning/snoring). There are some couples that just don't sleep well next to each other. You make up for it by being affectionate and intimate in other ways.

Now if he's showing signs of cheating that is a whole other issue.

henrycatalina · 2022-08-28T09:22:20+00:00

Sleeping in separate bedrooms is either practical because one or both people are light sleepers or it becomes a fertile place that builds on resentments.

In my long marriage of 46 years we started sleeping separately about 24 years ago. After about 5 years of this, the separate beds became a retreat from unresolved arguments.

I think your issue is not the bedrooms but his or both your commitment to a long term relationship. If he is not committed to you and a future then the trials of life can easily end the relationship.

I'd say sleeping together is a pinnacle experience for me but for my wife it is a bad nights sleep. We are working back into a compromise to at least spend time in bed and retreat to our separate beds for sleep. This is a next step in recovering from a completely deadbedroom.

SuperiorLake_ · 2022-08-28T04:28:59+00:00

Would I stay with someone who I believed was cheating on me? No.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2022-08-28T18:25:41+00:00

The first bit seemed solvable. Most couples sleep in the same bed these days but I remember my grandparents had two twin beds in the same bedroom (they were already ~70 when I was born).

This gives me pause:

I believe he talks to a lot of women and masturbate or sexting with them."

This is problematic. What makes you believe this?

sushi_30 · 2022-08-28T13:06:03+00:00

I wouldn't, but not due to some idea that maaaaybe he's cheating. I'd leave because I don't want to be a LTR/Marriage where we don't share a bed. That's just a preference. If you feel that this isn't a solution you can live with long term, why drag out the inevitable? If you know you're never going to be content in that situation, you're not compatible.

This guy is your bf (not husband), you probably split rent, he comes into your room to fuck then leaves: you're his roommie with benefits.

But. I urge you to speak to him about it, tell him how it makes you feel and decide whether - for you - this is sustainable or not.

RainforestLiving · 2022-08-28T19:56:13+00:00

I’d leave. That’s way too lonely.

Cultivate_a_Rose · 2022-08-29T01:49:22+00:00

Separate beds is rarely a good portent.

Tiny_Bosstia · 2023-02-04T05:29:08+00:00

Sometimes I am invited in the room to hang out or sleep, sometimes I just do it just because,but recently when we’re about to get steamy and I went to the bathroom and came back he was just busy texting someone. So I lost interest.

I know the routine when he uses the bathroom. Walls are thin. Also one of his exes admitted sexting when we’re already together. And another woman I talked to was talking about babies with him to which he denies of course. And there were those jerking tissues used to be a lot but not anymore. Because I told him I didn’t like that. Sometimes to make me feel better about myself is to think it’s s___ anyway and sex is like 1x a month. 🙁

redditemployee69 · 2022-08-28T11:26:32+00:00

Separate beds is def not a bad thing you can get a much better sleep most of the time. Sexting others it a completely different topic though these are not really connected. If he wants separate beds so he can keep sexting others than that’s pretty bad. Depends on how you feel about it if you don’t like it and you ask him to stop but he persists, that’s not a good thing. It shows he doesn’t respect your boundaries and imagine what he would do if you had boundaries he wouldn’t respect when you were pregnant or had children.

Teacup000 · 2022-08-28T13:36:35+00:00

Why the separate beds? It doesn't sound like it's working for you and you don't give a reason. Have you told him how lonely it makes you feel?

What makes you think he's talking to other women?

If I were you, I wouldn't stay. As a general rule of thumb, I'd expect most problems or most of your partner's flaws to stick around throughout a marriage. If you can't live like this now, and you talk it through but can't reconcile this issue, then things aren't looking good long-term.

My husband and I sleep in separate beds whenever I'm EBF a newborn. It's tough, but it's worth him getting a quality rest. I'd be sad if he didn't miss me and look forward to us sharing a bed again.

Forgiven29 · 2022-08-28T06:09:12+00:00

That's normal life now for most married couples. Including mine.

marchmellowpuffs · 2022-08-28T16:55:48+00:00

No leave!

Such_Beginning_1629 · 2022-08-28T17:01:53+00:00

With my SOs crazy work schedule (Changing shift system) we sleep in seperate rooms three nights a week. We have a healthy sex life and sooo much quality time that it does not matter though!

ProverbialMomma · 2022-08-28T17:33:31+00:00

Sounds more like "roommates with benefits" than an intimate relationship.

domdomdom333 · 2022-08-28T22:02:23+00:00

Pretty sure there was research done that showed correlation of sleeping in the same bed improves relationship quality, from things like intimacy, better bond to having to talk out differences because there's nowhere else to retreat to.

Title	Separate Beds
Author	Tiny_Bosstia
Upvotes	2
Comments	25
Date	August 28, 2022 4:20 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/wzmc92/separate_beds/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/separate-beds.1131045 https://theredarchive.com/post/1131045

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