How to beat depression?

grizzer99 · 2019-03-06T05:13:58+00:00

Same age as you. Still have minor depression after a series of shitty events. I cut out most drinking. Focus on yourself. Find new hobbies. Get to sleep at a decent time. Bottom line for me was getting to the gym regardless how I feel. It helps crush depression. Take it easy on the drugs and cigs. If all else fails, therapy man. I'm sure other people can be more of a help but this is just my two cents. Good luck OP

clumhoho · 2019-03-06T06:04:26+00:00

You know what? Lifes shit sometimes. Hell, lifes shit a lot of the time. Every day, we face new challenges. But what we have to do, as men, is embrace these challenges and make them our bitch. Sitting back, letting this shit get us down, skipping the gym. You are better than that. I don't know you, I probably never will know you, but I know for a FACT that you are better than this.

Finding a passion doesnt happen overnight. Seeing results from implementing TRP behaviour doesn't happen after one cold approach. Seeing 6-pack abs doesnt happen from one session in the gym. Everything that is preached on this subreddit is all about personal development, one baby step at a time. It all takes time. If you dont want to do anything right now, thats OK. Because trust me, you will get bored of that shortly. And you will want to do something. What that thing is, only you will know. But it will be a hell of a lot better than what you are doing now.

Im currently reading 'Mans Search for Meaning' by Victor Frankl. This guy was a Jew who got holed up in various concentration camps during WWII. Now im not saying we need to be this guy, (because his frame was fucking bulletproof) but he comes out with some very interesting ideas. Imagine how shitty it is being in a concentration camp? Being marched every day for miles, with shoes that don't fit, in the freezing cold. To work for slave drivers. While malnourished. With the constant stench of death staring you in the face every day. Yet he said this:

" Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way"

I'm no philosopher, but I look at this and think 'Fuck. Hes right. Life is shit. But only as shit as we let it be. Im gonna choose my own way'. Our reactions are completely within our control. So for you, I urge you to look at your situation and try to see how you can react positively. This may mean seeking help from a professional; and thats a fucking great reaction. Ive been to see my shrink 6 times since the new year. And hes helping me through my shit when I need him most. Dont ever be afraid to ask for help. There are people out there who can help, I guarantee it.

Just please, dont ever think about suicide. Too many men think there is no other way out. There is ALWAYS another way out. You just gotta be brave enough to look for it.

Chose your own way, brother.

soulmysold · 2019-03-06T06:17:19+00:00

Weed floods your brain with dopamine. Which is why you have depression and why you have no ambition.

rochedo · 2019-03-06T05:39:57+00:00

Weed is the same as watching porn. Its fucking up your brain, no wonder you have no motivation. Cut that shit out as well.

kingbigbucket · 2019-03-06T05:45:44+00:00

Make yourself a schedule to follow for each day. It should include the gym, meditating, reading, some sort of social activity and either working or trying to find work. The bottom line is that you need to start doing things and keep yourself busy. I understand that’s the hardest thing to do when your depressed but you have to do it. I’ve been there before and dug my way out of it. You can too.

If you need motivation I would suggest looking into David Goggins or just general motivation videos on YouTube. For reading I think Meditations, 12 rules for life, and 7 habits of highly effective people would be a good start.

If there are people around you who you can go to for help then go to them but the bottom line is that you need to do it on your own. You are not anyone else’s problem so don’t expect them to drop everything for you.

BookyMcBooks · 2019-03-06T07:34:13+00:00

I'm gonna say, smoking cigarettes is the most retarded thing you could possibly be doing. I spent 5 years smoking, and now I have to spend almost as much time trying to fix my lungs and shit by going to the gym. Quit. Fucking. Smoking.

LongDongLondonDon · 2019-03-06T08:09:33+00:00

Lots of things you can work on. You don't have to try to do them all at once, in fact I recommend you focus on a few (or even just one) at a time. Slowly but surely you'll implement these changes and you'll see improvements in your life.

Stop consuming harmful substances (alcohol, drugs, tobacco)
Wake up early everyday (I get up at 5:30)
Do some form of exercise everyday, no matter how much or little (e.g. lift weights, run, sports etc)
Healthy diet, eat veg, cut out junk food, candy, soda etc
Drink water
Make a schedule (e.g. wake up at 5:30, go to the gym at 6:30, read a book at 11) and stick to it
Get a hobby, preferably an active one like sports or hiking
No videogames
Meditate everyday, start off small, literally can be just 5 minutes per day.
Stop listening to depressing music, listen to upbeat shit that makes you confident/happy
Set goals, write them down, work towards them everyday
Talk to people. Family, friends, whoever you trust
Read non-fiction

I was in a very depressed place like you. I've made these changes and while things aren't exactly perfect in my life yet, they sure as hell are better than when I was drinking alone in my room like a skinnyfat fuck crying over some hoe. It made feel hard or even impossible right now, but if you make these positive changes, things will get better. But it's up to you, you alone have the power to improve your life.

gregoire_ · 2019-03-06T05:59:21+00:00

First of all, you have to stop smoking weed. Weed makes you content being bored and it’s entirely counterproductive to your own goals.

Secondly, start going outside when you wake up. Go for a walk. Smell the fresh air and see the sun. Low levels of vitamin d3 (which is most efficiently produced in sunlight) leads to weakness and fatigue, leaving you home in a viscous cycle of depression.

Third, get back in the gym. Have a regular routine to keep discipline strong and have goals to reach.

The rest you have to figure out as you go, but you need to take those first steps to get you off on the best possible start

8380atgmaildotcom · 2019-03-06T07:18:54+00:00

The gym is the modern antidepressant. It's definitely hard to go when you don't want to get out of bed but it will help

Hjalmbere · 2019-03-06T07:43:19+00:00

Stop smoking weed. It’s a demotivator. And stop drinking and smoking cigarettes, it’s ruining your health. If your buddies smoke weed too, dump them. You will eventually find new ones. Drink only when you have something to celebrate.

And go outdoors and do cardio regularly. Find an outdoors gym for the muscles. Fresh air and daylight is fucking important. Do yoga a couple of times a week to clear your mind and to get a good stretch.

Set up one or more goals, like travel and/or completing a marathon and work towards them. Self-improvement isn’t painless, but pain is just weakness leaving the body. Go!

EDIT: Oh yeah, the phone stays out of the bedroom.

BrodinsOats · 2019-03-06T05:47:15+00:00

You just keep trying. Slowly you’ll chip away at it. With time you’ll start noticing bigger improvements. Eventually you’ll start to realize you’re beating it.

ghosts_of_me · 2019-03-06T07:47:43+00:00

Keep quitting the bad shit, keep doing the good shit. Nobody said it was easy.

Start by dropling the ciggies and booze, those are the worst. Pair your weed addiction with going to the gym every day with the goal of exhausting yourself. In a month or two youll be able to take on bigger tasks.

Timdeuces · 2019-03-06T11:45:27+00:00

Taking care of yourself tends to lift your spirits

ShakaLifted · 2019-03-06T12:34:18+00:00

Try quitting weed, alcohol, and cigarettes. This might just be enough to motivate you to make tour goals.

They can be "okay" in certain cases, like at the occasional party. but shouldnt be done daily or even weekly imo. This is coming from a guy who was addicted to a plethora of different things like weed, alcohol, porn, juuls.

Zeparic · 2019-03-06T12:53:33+00:00

I was depressed constantly back in 2014 until I found TRP. the ideas put forth on the sub gave me a sense of understanding and more importantly a sense of purpose, something to start with, because like you I hated myself and didn't know what to do with me. I started working out, going to bed early, I got my first one night stand the first week. I just took a chance and it paid off. I'm currently in an ltr.

It's important for you to start taking the physical steps towards betterment as they'll provide you the tangible proof that you are doing something for yourself, besides the obvious benefits that they bring.

But I just want to highlight that your own thoughts are the most important challenge for you to beat, and you'll have to learn to tame them if you ever hope to help yourself. I spent a lot of time believing negative things, and it took an even longer time to start saying good things about myself. It became a constant war in my head where anything that I did right or felt good about I'd find a way to downplay and disqualify. But I've learned something important and it's that reality is fundamentally subjective, the good and the bad are true and false, relevant and irrelevant. The bad thoughts are no more valid than the good, so you have to make a conscious decision to choose which you want to believe. You can acknowledge a flaw, and it might be unirradicable, but it's not all encompassing I promise and it may have it's own utility. Accept your flaws without hatred and you'll learn how best to deal with them.

Gr33d3ater · 2019-03-06T13:53:37+00:00

You suck it up and choose to be happy. You’re 20 years young. You have no hobbies and so can start any one you want.

Your problem is this: You’re a human being with what’s called a circadian rhythm. You’re deliberately fucking it up by staying up and abusing your body with drugs and shit food I imagine as well. ON TOP of the drugs, you choose to sleep in until 2pm, the time when everyone else has already most of the day done, everyone has already eaten lunch. What in God’s name do you expect to get done from 2-5pm when legitimate business is conducted? Nothing, apparently, because you haven’t developed any industry interests or talents. Welp, it’s time to.

Maybe start by getting up off your ass at 6am and get a morning job so you have a reason to wake up when you’re supposed to: with the sun. You need to stop drinking. Stop smoking those fucking death sticks. Cut the weed back to weekends only. This is health 101. You feel like shit because you treat yourself like shit. Take better care of your health. Also by waking up late your inducing a depressive state. Your body thinks there’s no food because you’re more lethargic and will only release chemicals that make you move less and do less, the modern manifestation of this end result is called depression.

Then stop coming to threads as a cry for help when it’s obvious why you’re depressed. You can fix all of those issues in one day. Do you know how many people would literally murder to have it as easy as being able to wake up early, get a job and pick up a hobby? Christ man. Count your blessings. You live in America. Go find that opportunity.

As an aside: clean your room for gods sake. I know there’s clothes everywhere and it needs vacuumed. Start by cleaning your room and keeping it clean every day, and life will follow. It’s about building that discipline. You have none, that’s why you’ve slipped into depression. You don’t have your mental faculties disciplined into submission enough.

maverick9759 · 2019-03-06T14:49:52+00:00

That was almost poetic. Let go off life for a while man. Think you're dead. Stop having high expectations from yourself. You don't have to get rich. You don't have to gain that muscle. You don't have to fuck that hot chick. In my religion the god of gods is not a creator, he is a destroyer. His blessings are something along the lines of " may your dreams be destroyed .. may you become completely still .. may you become come colossally intense." You were born and you will die. In between you do what your gut tells you to do, not society, not TRP, your gut. Self acceptance is the first step. Second is listening to your gut. Third is outcome independence, if you feel like you should try climbing that mountain/ try getting that job / hit on the hot chick, you do it, and do it because that's the answer which came from within and you just followed. If you get rejected/fail, laugh and move on. Calibrate and try again. Maybe you will successfully achieve what you want. Maybe you won't. But do what your gut says and there lies your meaning. I'll put a Frank Sinatra song here

"Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew When I bit off more than I could chew But through it all, when there was doubt I ate it up and spit it out I faced it all and I stood tall And did it my way I've loved, I've laughed and cried I've had my fill, my share of losing And now, as tears subside I find it all, all so amusing To think I did all that And may I say, not in a shy way Oh no, no, not me I did it my way For what is man, what has he got? If not himself, then he has naught To say the things he truly feels And not the words of one who kneels The record shows I took the blows And did it my way And did it my way "

thetriangularbox · 2019-03-06T15:31:39+00:00

Quit smoking weed. Try preworkout before you go to the gym. I don’t use it anymore, but it got me into it

coloredzebra · 2019-03-06T18:28:28+00:00

I don't know why I'm depressed Starter Pack

Literally a walking starter pack.

Drop the dope/Boose
Sleep early
Exercise
Clean your room

First step, is dropping the dope, I've been in a similar situation. Using weed sounds like a crutch as to why your life sucks right now.

Stop being a victim, man up, and take charge, because no one is going to do it for you.

_the_shape_ · 2019-03-06T19:02:09+00:00

20 seems like a week or two ago to me, and I've drifted almost twenty years from that point at this stage in my life. Time flies, and 20 is way, way, waaaaaay to early to "give up". You could be living a radically different life in five years (or less!) with enough work and commitment.

Here's what I'd do if I were you:

Cut all smoking and drinking out. Aim for zero. It's pulling you away from arriving at or devising some sort of solution.
Get back in the gym. Start showing yourself more appreciation. This goes hand in hand with knocking off the drinking and smoking. Hygiene is a huge part of all of this too. The idea is to start taking great care of both yourself and your possessions and your place of domicile. Think of cleanliness and order as your immune system: the stronger, the better. The more disorderly, the more slovenly, the more you invite apathy, depression, anxiety, withdrawal etc.
You're only 20. If you were, say, 40-50 years older and you had tried your hand at a multitude of different things and failed at basically all of them, then I'd say you have a right to proclaim that you're "not good at anything", but none of that applies in your case. Pick something, and stick with it for at least a solid year or two. The more you bounce from thing to thing, trying it for a minute, then soon thereafter throwing in the towel, the more likely you will bring yourself to believe that you're an abject failure and can't succeed at anything.
Also, take notice of every time you speak negatively of yourself, and systematically put an end to it. If you keep that up, all the success and money and women and fame in the World still won't be enough to penetrate that impervious layer of negativity. Smoking/drinking forms one powerful, toxic, potentially fatal alliance with negative self-talk. See a therapist if you must to rid yourself of this horrible habit. Not sure if it's the root of any/all your issues, but it definitely encourages indifference at best, self-destruction (drinking/smoking) at worst.
Strongly consider downgrading (upgrading?) to a flip-phone. Stop staring at a screen and filling your mind with theory and opinions that, in the end, don't even amount of actions transpiring beyond the digital world. TRP (and the Internet at large) is a double-edged sword. It can inspire you, it can inform you, it can teach you, but it can also keep you exactly were you are, just as it can deepen your self-loathing. Try stepping away from it all for a small amount of time - say, a few days or so at first - then maybe try to build that up to a week, then two weeks, and evaluate how you will feel afterwards. If you have a hard time resisting the urge to pick up your phone/run to the computer and stare at the screen like a zombie, then I'd say that's even more of a reason for you to give a hiatus a shot.

iwishiwasgayandcute · 2019-03-06T21:03:38+00:00

Get your fitness in line. If you really want to kill yourself, try out steroids. They will make you ripped, high smv and you will have a purpose in life.

Rubbish27 · 2019-03-06T21:04:14+00:00

I used to act EXACTLY like you, then I did the following

Cut out the weed, cigarettes, and alcohol.
1. The weed will be hard to do and you will be much more bored in your life but it will be worth it.
2. When I cut out nicotine, I realized that nicotine just made me feel depressed for a few minutes when I inhaled it, it never made me feel good except at the beginning of my addiction.
3. Alcohol will numb your senses but the hangover and the reliance to it is not worth the cost or the effort. Only drink socially.
Give up your phone
1. Go a day, then a few days, then a week, until you've reached a month without using all the bad things on your phone
2. Keep your phone at home when you are out
3. Delete all of the bad apps
Run, swim, exercise
1. When I was depressed I'd run at least 2-4 hours a day. I distinctly remember losing 10 pounds in a month because I ran so much. Running does 2 things: force your brain to make happy chemicals and give you a goal. 10 minute mile, 9 minute mile
2. Running is hypnotic, literally the feeling of hitting the ground with one foot, then the other can hypnotize you into a flow state where time passes like nothing.
3. Runner's high, a runner's high is when you run for so long your body produces cannabinoid (THC is a cannabinoid) to kill the pain in your body, it will be a numbing effect that is actually health for you.
FORCE YOURSELF INTO THAT SOCIAL CIRCLE
1. The magical thing about having no will to live is that you can do whatever you want cause you feel nothing anymore, at least that's what happened to me
2. Set up some fun activity and force yourself to go, if you don't enjoy it then hey, it's better than being on your phone all day
And lastly, remember it gets better, all the running in the world didn't cure my depression, it just sped up the process don't be afraid to open up to family members.

XXXMersenne · 2019-03-06T21:51:11+00:00

This one's easy... If you'll only just do it.

Wake up early (4-7AM) & go to the gym and work out, heavy. I do Insanity.
Meditate for 20mins with Binaural beats or Holosync
I can't stress this enough but, Eat Clean. This is so big it's not even funny. I daily make green vegetable juices that has babybutted 40%+ of my skin in less than a week. Do this guy's recommended 6 week thingy. It works. If you like it then read his book on your iBooks in iPhone or Mac.
Listen to RSDMotivation. It can be cheesy (most of it is on point), but when you're down, you need all the help you can get and this always delivers, 100%. Over just a couple days of listening you switch up your act and your situations begins to improve. Momentum from there.

Estrogenoxygen · 2019-03-06T23:33:37+00:00

I say start by cutting out the alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant and makes people depressed and lethargic, suicidal and all other bad things. Plus a ton of empty calories. You should start to feel better.

Battletoad101 · 2019-03-07T11:36:20+00:00

Hit the gym

arcwhy · 2019-03-07T20:56:51+00:00

There's a lot you can change, if you want to. There's plenty of great advice here too that I won't parrot.

BUT I will say, you should def get your Vitamin D levels checked. No joke makes a world of difference

Auvergnat · 2019-03-06T06:35:03+00:00

You're not depressed, you're aimless.

Join the army.

Alternatively, join a BJJ, MMA, boxing, or Muay Thai gym.

Metalgear222 · 2019-03-06T14:42:28+00:00

Depression ain’t real. It’s just your mind telling to find a purpose. You’re sad because you don’t respect yourself and where you are in life right now. Start working on things you don’t want to starting today. Start cutting out vices, start going to bed st a healthy hour, electronics off at mid night, cook healthier meals.

Skipping the gym? Fuck that and fuck you. That’s one way to never hit rock bottom, go lift now.

Force yourself to be out of house on weekends for at least 6 hours a day.

It’s not about being motivated to do these things, it’s about disciplining yourself to do them because as a guy you can logically figure out that your happiness and joy and everything that you would like your life to look like is 100% DEPENDENT ON IT.

Start today and reply here with what you’re changing

Title	How to beat depression?
Author	Vikingcel
Upvotes	30
Comments	57
Date	March 6, 2019 5:05 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/axv0t3/how_to_beat_depression/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-beat-depression.220888 https://theredarchive.com/post/220888

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