How do I stop hating small talk?

MichaelScofield68 · 2025-05-23T23:22:51+00:00

You hate it because you don't know how to do it. It's actually very enjoyable when you know what you are doing. Learn to do it well and learn how to enjoy it.

What helped me was to stop being such a self-oriented gremlin and try to make others talk about themselves. Also, trying to have fun over trying to make 'good' conversation to please or impress the other person. When it's not interesting, I cut the conversation short to meet other people, and when it's interesting we both have a great time. Works with women to get laid and with men to find business partners. Cheers.

jdubuhyew · 2025-05-23T22:20:56+00:00

do you mean banter and not small talk?

Max-Rockatasky · 2025-05-23T22:48:22+00:00

Stop responding “good” to “how are you doing” and start asking your own questions

sefan78 · 2025-05-23T23:45:21+00:00

One tip I have - a lot of people ask questions that they think are the right questions to ask. For example, at college, the amount of people that ask questions about shit like what major are you in and stuff like that is crazy. And let’s be real - most people aren’t interested in talking about what they’re studying. Me - I just ask questions that genuinely interest me. For instance, I’m a huge music guy and whenever I’m just in a conversation with someone, I’ll bring up music and ask them what type of music they listen to - usually it works because they can talk about something they’re interested in and it’s a topic I genuinely enjoy hearing about.

StopTheTrickle · 2025-05-24T05:43:40+00:00

From a seduction perspective. Being bored during smalltalk is a blessing

I like to ask women "If you were a vegetable, what vegetable would you be and why" and expand from there

Before you know it you know her very well, which is what women want

topher_atx · 2025-05-24T05:27:26+00:00

I heard somebdy say try NOT to say the same shit everybody else says & don't ask the same questions. Maybe it was Mystery who said this?

I remember one time a friend of mine and I took this chick we just met to IHOP at 2am after the bar closed. Didn't know this guy that well, but he was asking her all the standard questions and he sounded so sad. I never ask the standard questions. This maybe turns some women off because they want the standard questions. But I think I like Mystery's style better. Small talk sucks. Don't be boring, f*ck that shit. Be interesting. Throw 'em a knuckleball.

Shadow__Account · 2025-05-24T15:05:22+00:00

I used to say I “hated” small talk. But actually I didn’t hate it, I just felt ackward doing it and quite frankly I was bad at it.

Of course only small talk all the time is superficial without any more in depth conversation. But small talk can be and should be great fun.

Usually when people say they hate it or it’s boring it means they are uncomfortable and don’t want to admit/face that.

I have in depth and good conversations with plenty of people and small talk is the art of throwing samples of your personality out to each other to select if an interaction or person is worth exploring more, or sometimes to just connect for a second.

Western-Month-3877 · 2025-05-23T23:08:20+00:00

I’m a small-talk hater. To me not only they’re bland and boring, but they’re also fake/superficial.

But if you know me irl, you would think that I love small talks. In my mind whenever I do a small talk:

Literally there are some options in my head on how to response: “I’m great, you?”, “fine, what about you?” Stuff like that. But occasionally I tease them by choosing an option that people don’t really hear that often: “I’ll be okay” or “could’ve been better.” The reason? I just wanna see and hear their response. I wanna see if they are genuinely kind, or if they are really listening, or if they’re willing to listen to my (pretend) concerns. Consider it like an opposite shit test; I’ve learned that people love when they’re given an opportunity to show their good sides. Almost like triggered to be kind.
In my experience, small talks give me a way to lead in a conversation. People incorrectly think that small talks flow automatically. All types of convo can be directed and lead on. Imagine the gullibility of people when they don’t know why they get to talk about certain topics, like they’re out of nowhere. But they’re not out of nowhere. I lead them to get there, and it all starts from a small talk.

Like many of us being nerds here, have you been so good in answering questions in class that instead of practicing on how to answer the tests, your teacher starts asking you to make the questions or the tests. So instead of going from A to Z, you go backward from Z to A. Same thing with all convos. You wanna talk about sex topic for example, you gotta entertain all possibilities that lead to sex. Off the top of my head they’re all from skin (care), sports, blood pressure, lips, lipstick, tongue, friction, bed sheets, thick, stiff, sweat, tense, and so on. Even if you don’t get to sex topic, you can make very subtle innuendos. Once you’re familiar with these, you know that small talks are important, so long as you can direct them to get to where you want.

Hakunamatator · 2025-05-23T23:38:18+00:00

What do you want to do instead? Discuss Dave's inferno? By all means, try it? It will be amazing for some, weird for others.

FromGymToBoudoir · 2025-05-23T23:40:21+00:00

Observations work better than questions. Always. Make comments about her hair, dress, accent, mannerisms, anything, and follow up with another one. Maybe ask a question or two but just talk casually. Naturally this will avoid the “Oh nice weather. Is it this nice where you’re from?”

Etc.

Prestigious_Water336 · 2025-05-24T00:33:32+00:00

Small talk is necessary to build a connection and get a vibe and feel for a person. It is a necessary evil unfortunately.

Thin-Vermicelli-4817 · 2025-05-24T01:38:09+00:00

being curious. then connect with why they feel that way and how you also did/felt that way in your life.

Anonymous-Man-2024 · 2025-05-24T05:50:02+00:00

Your social skills are pitiful that's why you don't like small talk.

I was looking at the comments here and by reading the responses I can authoritatively say not a single person has those skills.

ActuaryImpossible385 · 2025-05-24T11:38:42+00:00

I enjoy small talk . It’s a comfortable kind a thing when u don’t have say anything at all or just about something but it’s nothing. But then if hate make something then . Talk about something you like then.

ZEHNiNFHiNiHTTE · 2025-05-24T15:12:17+00:00

I’Get Yu More Now Than Originally Viewed Small Talk iS One Plain Flavour ThiS iS True But With Options Tu EnHance iF All Things Line Up aN Check Out Starting Out iS Slow Even When Yu Assume EveryOne iS Reading Yu aS Fast aS Yo’r Mind Mentally iS iNStint!

[MarKelL] [“#THUGPiE”] |11\12\1986| [GAwD]–[KhiD]

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2025-05-24T16:16:12+00:00

See my post on the principles of flirting. Most likely what is happening here is that you are not allowing yourself to feel and expressing emotions fully. Only one post on my library addressess this called "the principles of flirting", frankly I have to go back and rewrite it because when I wrote it back then my writing skills were not too good yet. There are better infographics that presents the info better on my Instagram booklets.

Title	How do I stop hating small talk?
Author	Perfect-Highway-6818
Upvotes	15
Comments	22
Date	May 23, 2025 10:19 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ktw984/how_do_i_stop_hating_small_talk/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-stop-hating-small-talk.1552967 https://theredarchive.com/post/1552967

Comments