Pre-Background: This summer after reading and posting this article (under my old account) and then reading this I cut down my masturbatory habit from five plus times a week to about once every two weeks and stopped watching porn altogether. And it feels fucking awesome! After living in the city for the past year I've had to move back into the boring suburbs, so I've been well, bored. Guess what happened. Three days in a row. Godammit.

Background: VampireSlayer and I meet up to hit up a local club, my first time working club game. I'm pumped, he's pumped (but still a little queasy from the night before), it's going to be a good night. I felt a little drained/lethargic during the day, but I'm pumped now, it's not even on my mind.

We get to the club a little early, not too many people inside. Normally I would make my presence known, start talking to people, but I just didn't have the confidence or the excessive energy for that. Normally when I walk into these situations I think “I'm an alpha. I understand game pretty well. That instantly puts me in the 95th percentile of the guys here.” But I didn't feel that way. I thought maybe those other guys here are superior to me, more confident, alpha, whatever. Just better for some reason.

So I wasn't too aggressive or confident. VS and I stood off to the side of the bar talking. I've been working on my body language so I focused on keeping my shoulders back, feet wide apart, taking up space, etc. But I wasn't opening people.

After downing my first drink in a hurry I go to the bar to get my second. A group of women in their thirties have ten shots lined up on the bar, more shots than there are women. Recognizing an opportunity I say “Are you drinking all of those yourself?! That's not safe!” Light kino. They answer back that it's the one girl's birthday. She jokingly says she's turning twenty-five, when she's probably more like thirty-five. I say nothing else, go back to VS. {In retrospect I could have said it's too bad she's only twenty-five because I prefer older girls. And continued teasing/escalation from there.}

The club has fills up, the dance floor fills up, and I'm out dancing. I previously made a comment to a St. Paddy's-themed bachelorette party as they passed by me about them wearing green too early. Now I'm out dancing with them. They're liking it, I grind my ass into the wedding girl, we're having fun. The wedding girl says “You should meet [HB8]!” and introduces me to her. She's trying to set us up. I flirt with her a little bit, get her name completely wrong on purpose. But I didn't make anything happen, didn't escalate. I just reacted to the level we were already at. I was dancing in proximity to them later in the night, but nothing noteworthy happened. {Knowing I had some attraction, and the approval of the group I should have isolated her and escalated towards Qualification and Comfort.}

There's another group of tall girls. I fucking love tall girls. I dance with them a bit. Their boss was with them, and she was going crazy, so I say “I wish your boss was my boss.” One of them was making serious eye contact with me, but I did nothing. Not out of fear, or AA, just lethargy/apathy. {Definitely should have tried harder with the one girl.}

I get tired of the club, the music, and dancing, so VS and I go to a craft beer bar not too far away. I'm not in state, or too energetic; if VS wasn't there with me I probably just would've drove home. We get in, I'm not opening people, just getting the beer. Chat up a guy about the beer he ordered, take my beer and move away from the bar. VS is like “Check out that two-set!” and “Let's go open them!” I'm like, meh. Drained/depleted.

We stand in this one spot for a few minutes. I see four girls behind us, one of them is drinking Miller Lite. Perfect opportunity for my one canned/reusable opener: “You're drinking [shitty beer/liquor] at [craft beer bar]?!” Of course it hooks, it always hooks. We segue into introductions, I tell them my name is Vladimir, and VS is Akbar. It's corny, but it works. I'm doing great with the leader, building attraction. Then I walk out of the set. Literally just walk out. Mid-conversation. VS was ready to jump in and work the rest of the group, but for whatever reason I ceased to care. {Obviously I should have stayed in set. I would have gotten a solid number and maybe arranged a date that night.}

VS direct opens three girls by putting his arm around one of them and just saying “Hi.” He did pretty well considering she was married and even showed him the ring. I space out and wait for him. At that point I only cared about going home.

After so many months of reduced masturbation I know that laying off makes me naturally more alpha, and getting off makes me less alpha for a period of time. Before I left my house I knew that it might affect my performance in the field, but it wasn't in my head while I was out; it wasn't until we were at the bar that the thought even crossed my mind again. So it was not a conscious mental block that was taking my aggressiveness and abilities down a notch, it was physiological. I was high energy, I was social, I was having a good time, I just didn't have that sexual or dominant edge that's helped me progress up to this point. I was only going through the motions, and not because I had an intense desire to enrich my life with beautiful women, or because I wanted to satisfy my sexual/competitive drive.

For the record, I don't regret the missed opportunities or feel negative about the night at all. I simply wasn't my normal badass self. And I know the next time I'm out I'll get the results I would've gotten last night. There may not be as many tall girls around, but oh well.

Moral of the story: If you're still fapping more than once a week, take two weeks off and see what happens. Keep a journal. You might be surprised by how different you are when you're not depleting your natural resources.