~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 34 | What are your observations about women cock blocking/“clitoferencing” other women?How did she not know you two were together as the family friend? Sounds like she knew if she attacked you. My ex introduced me to his friend, and then left the two of us alone for around 15 minutes. It was just enough time for her to grill me about "my intentions" and to "just do her job vetting." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/04/22 03:59 PM |
| 310 | What are your observations about women cock blocking/“clitoferencing” other women?We've all come across women who think we're peeing on their territory. One of my first serious boyfriends had a close female friend of the family who was hopelessly in love with him. She had invented this narrative where she'd marry into the family, and they'd live happily ever after. Needless to say, she wasn't thrilled when she found out we were together. She verbally attacked me the first time we met and acted like I needed to prove my worthiness to her. It was not fun. Unfortunately, her pla… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/04/22 04:34 AM |
| 333 | Would you guys be okay with this? It's sounds crazy to me.It's always "he's safe and careful" until it's "a woman showed up at our house and said she's 5 mos pregnant with his child." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/04/22 09:26 PM |
| 128 | How to spot a Deadbeat DadThe only HVM single dad I know has 50/50 custody and is an extremely involved father. He's also made the decision to not date until his kids are older (they're young teens now) because he knows he wants to always prioritize his kids, and it's unfair for him to drag a woman into the mix and expect her to be fine with whatever scraps he has. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/22 05:50 PM |
| 94 | Vetting Professional Men: Six Things to Keep in Mindif a man is a professional, he must be at least a little high value (nope!) Yup. I've dated attorneys, accountants, engineers, professors... there has been a HVM here and there, but it's the exception, not the rule. Many professional men act like they don't have to do anything beyond having a good job or spending a lot of money. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 05:30 PM |
| 143 | PSA: Wanting a man capable of providing for you when you eventually birth and raise children is not being a GoLdDiGgEr"Sir, no one is dating you with the intention of taking you to divorce court for half of your Toyota Corolla, PS5, $5,000 401K, and $15/hr pay." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 03:08 AM |
| 134 | Interesting first day… even more interesting way of textingYup. I wish I were joking. I had a ton of dental work growing up so my teeth are perfect, but I definitely didn't need her asking me to "open wide." That whole thing was super weird, and I'm sure she didn't do it to the two men who had already married into the family. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/04/22 03:22 PM |
| 103 | Interesting first day… even more interesting way of textingYES. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/04/22 03:13 PM |
| 238 | Interesting first day… even more interesting way of textingI dated a man in my early 20's, and when I met his grandma, she evaluated me like a horse for breeding. It was... awkward and extremely uncomfortable. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/04/22 03:09 PM |
| 36 | He could have killed her too. Imagine if they were in a private placeMen are entitled and think that dating apps are free prostitution service finders. He expected her to be thrilled about bouncing on his balls after he spend $3 on her. A man on Hinge (the "relationship" app lol) once asked if I wanted to meet him in a parking lot and suck his dick. It seemed like he thought he was offering me something really special. Barf. I'd rather pull my toenails out with rusty tools. But these men genuinely think women exist only for their use and pleasure. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/04/22 11:19 PM |
| 161 | Dating “inequality” “data analysis”-🤣I know we've talked about taking microphones away from men, but do we need to ban them from the internet entirely? I've spent many years on-and-off online dating apps, and my biggest issue with crap like this is that 90% of men on dating apps just don't give a shit. They put 0.02% effort into creating their profile with poor photos and missing information then get upset when women aren't swiping. I read a stat here once that 40%(!) of profiles don't even have photos. I've come across many, many … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/04/22 03:23 PM |
| 458 | my bangmaid actually has a mind, a soul, and is a person! who knew?Sigh. The fragile ego of men. This whole thing is ridiculous. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/04/22 02:45 PM |
| 62 | Have you ever experienced this?You've described this phenomenon so well. While he didn't forget about where his ideas to try this or that came from (me), it did creep me out that he attempted to pick up every single hobby of mine as thought I had invited him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/04/22 01:46 AM |
| 545 | BE ALERT: Men on TikTok are fantasizing about ways to hurt women on imaginary dates.Yet men want to complain about the horrors of being catfished. Uh huh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/04/22 06:12 PM |
| 477 | Vetting tip: watch out for LVM who try to get you to associate your positive moments/traits/accomplishments with negative connotationsI will never forget when I got an exciting job offer, and the first thing my NVM ex said was "... that's more money than I make..." No "Congratulations!" No "Holy shit - amazing!" No "We have to celebrate!" Just comparing my offer to how much he made because he was insecure about his salary and net worth... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/22 07:11 PM |
| 16 | Be careful when you share your addresses, personal informationPart of my professional career involves data privacy and information security, and this advice is so spot on. It's also extremely important to look at what information you're sharing with a critical eye. There were so many times when I was online dating, and I'd shake my head at the kind of information men would accidently share. Something as seemingly innocent as sharing your IG account or putting your company name on your profile can allow someone to find a lot of information about you that co… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/22 07:00 PM |
| 16 | so glad this scrote clarified that calling me crazy wasn’t an insult.What kind of man says "oikieeeee," and why didn't you block after he called you crazy? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/22 03:41 AM |
| 146 | Chronicles of the Modern Day “Gold Digger”: It’s more than just the moneyAn ex's mom once told me that it's just as easy to love a rich man as it is to love a poor man. She loved her husband, but she was working a low wage job in her fifties after being a SAHM for two decades because they couldn't afford retirement. I knew I didn't want to end up like that, and that's why I made insane amounts of money now and refuse to give up my career for a man. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/22 03:38 AM |
| 154 | Such an Important Idea. Stop accepting " I suck"My ex used to pull this crap on me. Whenever he'd fuck up (which was often), he'd get all sad with those big, fake puppy dog eyes. "I just... I'm just not good enough for you... you deserve better..." he'd say, all defeated. Finally, it clicked for me. "You deserve better" really meant "I recognize I'm not treating you properly, but I don't think you're worth being better for." He was a grown man, if he wanted to do better, he easily could have. My expectations were really reasonable. I started … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/22 03:28 AM |
| 89 | 50/50 Cautionary Tales Part 1 : "Something feels weird here""Doing the 50/50 thing." Except he has no job, no responsibilities, and takes on no portion of the household management. Got it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/22 01:55 PM |
| 204 | The Consequences of The Male Birth Control PillUntil stealthing stops being a part of male culture, I won't trust any man to reliably take a pill form of birth control. I got an IUD because I couldn't trust myself to reliably take a pill form of birth control. There's no way I'm trusting someone else, specifically the person who doesn't suffer the consequences of pregnancy, to reliably take a pill form of birth control. It would be a nice backup option, but I would still rely on other methods of birth control to protect myself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/22 01:11 PM |
| 417 | Why you should NEVER accept a 50/50 relationship: THIS. Imagine how life is if she just stay single and work on her business alone.The worst part of this is we all know he's getting some sick pleasure out of controlling her this drastically. It's awful that she has to beg for money, but it's even worse that he get some twisted glee out of her living the way she is. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/22 09:22 PM |
| 177 | I did it.Take the pain of heartbreak as a lump sum and embrace the suck. There's a saying that women heal from breakups quicker than men, but in my experience, it's simply because we deal with that hurt immediately, seek support, and work through it. Men tend to put off embracing their heartbreak so it takes them way, way longer to work through it (eg. the men in their thirties who are still hung up on their high school ex). It's healthy to have feelings of sadness and grieving at the end of a relationsh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/22 02:04 PM |
| 233 | Scrote has tantrum and refuses to vacate property that’s been soldIn way, way too many Reddit threads, the only correct response is "Speak to a highly qualified attorney in your area." She needs an attorney, not internet trolls. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/22 04:23 AM |
| 64 | J.Lo and Ben … ultimate pickme?I saw this take somewhere and thought it was brilliant. Instead of the media focusing on her relationship ending, her PR team shifted the entire focus to her rekindled relationship. I feel like her breakup was barely talked about at all because of the excitement around her new/old love. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 09:22 PM |
| 104 | Where do men go to find the audacity? What kind of good man is this? Is this the standard? Because if so, then sorry to this man. 33 and childish with his priorities out of order. What an embarrassment. Feel sorry for that baby.It should go without saying that dating a man with a baby on the way or even a young child should absolutely be avoided at all costs. Even if you're open to dating single dads (which I'd recommend proceeding with extreme caution), wait until the kids are a bit older. There's so much stress and chaos for a new parent, and there's no reason for you to subject yourself to that. Do you really want to be in a relationship and watch your boyfriend bond over baby with his ex? No. You don't. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 04:15 PM |
| 51 | Where do men go to find the audacity? What kind of good man is this? Is this the standard? Because if so, then sorry to this man. 33 and childish with his priorities out of order. What an embarrassment. Feel sorry for that baby.This might be a rare exception where the meaning is a bit different. In this case, it's "let me stick my dick in you until my baby is born and then I need you on diaper duty and babysitting." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 04:12 PM |
| 438 | Where do men go to find the audacity? What kind of good man is this? Is this the standard? Because if so, then sorry to this man. 33 and childish with his priorities out of order. What an embarrassment. Feel sorry for that baby.His attitude is "your past is in the past" but also "my baby is on the way and he'll be your future because I'll be dumping childcare responsibilities on to you, hope you like dirty diapers!" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 04:09 PM |
| 46 | TL;DR: her 'hack' is buying Tinder Gold to change your location and minimising small talk by, I assume, inviting men on a date.It could be an interesting way to see the city, but let's be real: I bet 14/15 of these men were duds, and I know I'd rather spend company with myself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 03:56 PM |
| 105 | TL;DR: her 'hack' is buying Tinder Gold to change your location and minimising small talk by, I assume, inviting men on a date.The woman in the article is 31 and twice divorced. I'm not sure if I'd take her advice on long term dating strategies... I have a lot of experience OLD (unfortunately, but don't do it anymore), and the biggest issue here is she says it's a waste of time to do small talk (aka vetting) upfront but would rather meet them right away in person. I think it's important to do a minimum amount of vetting, and a phone call before meeting in person is a much better way to ensure you're not wasting time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 02:36 PM |
| 16 | Do you believe in the idea of soulmate or soulmates?There's no such thing as "the one." We don't have soulmates or people we are meant to be with. This is an unhealthy view point and keeps us in toxic, unhappy relationships. There is such thing as "one of the ones." These are the select number of people we're genuinely compatible with. The goal is to find one of them. When we are with someone we are compatible with, we consciously and consistently make the decision every day to be with them and to build a life with them. It's not magic. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 02:21 PM |
| 63 | This is a whole other level of being a 🤡YES x1000. Child support isn't for the mom. It's to cover directly related to the kids. The "I'm a strong women who doesn't need child support" attitude only hurts the kids. That money could have been put away for the kids. Even if dad is paying just $500/mo., that's over $100K after 18 years without any interest. That's a huge leg up for any young adult. But instead, dad will just use the money to do whatever he wants. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/03/22 07:08 PM |
| 54 | Beware of the man with a female friend/female friendsWhile select men and women can be friends, I think it's very important to watch how everyone acts when someone is in a relationship and adjust accordingly. This sets the tone for things moving forward. A male friend and I are extremely close, but we give each other ample space and breathing room when relationships are new and fragile. He recently started dating a woman at the end of last year, and because I respect what their relationship, I take a giant step back so they can build their foundat… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/03/22 06:44 PM |
| 16 | Stay. Away. From. These. Bum. Ass. “Estranged”. Single. Dads. (P.S - baby mama? Baby mama?….You mean the woman whom he impregnated and to whom he had two children? Girllll i-) the tomfooleryThey always make it a point to tell me their kid comes first, like obviously?? This is such an unhealthy attitude, and unsurprisingly, why many remarriages with children fail. The divorce rate for remarriages with children is 73%! The needs of the kids absolutely come first, but the wants of the kids absolutely don't come before the needs of the adults. Single parents need to learn to prioritize the needs and wants of everyone, but of course, they often suck at it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/03/22 02:37 PM |
| 78 | I'm really interested in how society in your country/culture 'discourages interactions in social spaces'!No. Just no. The only conversation this man should feel entitled to is her asking "Do you mind if I sit here?" because she apparently wanted to sit beside him on an entirely empty bus. In reality, she would be sitting as far away from him as possible. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/03/22 02:08 PM |
| 9 | This is why you should NEVER be the breadwinner! ultra huge red flagHis lack of ambition to get a job gives off "I had my heartbroken once when I was 17, and it's been so hard to love again" from men in their thirties vibes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/03/22 12:10 AM |
| 189 | Being vulnerable to help build intimacy in relationships.I learned a leadership technique that can easily apply to building intimacy in dating. As a leader (or potential partner), you want to be seen as down-to-earth, vulnerable, approachable, open, and imperfect. The most effective way to do this as a leader is to highlight flaws that are largely irrelevant to your role within your organization. You would never tell a direct report "I'm late to every meeting and often difficult to get answers from," but you can share pretty random facts like "I'm hav… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/22 04:49 PM |
| 89 | Can you be a HVW and date (reasonably) older men?When I was in my late 20's and early 30's, I was with a man who was 11 years older. He turned out to be much less mature and much less capable than me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/22 02:49 PM |
| 76 | Can you be a HVW and date (reasonably) older men?This is really important to recognize. Yes, we could all get sick and injured at any stage of our lives, but this is a much bigger risk with dating older men. Most men aren't putting in the effort with either their workouts or eating to make sure they're able to keep up an active life as they age. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/22 02:47 PM |
| 22 | Foreplay is a chore? Nah babe, this man is a chore!Five bucks says he's just another delusional male who thinks the minute he's single, women are going to be lining up to ride his pole. He needs OP as a backup plan just in case he finds it harder to get laid (which of course, he will learn quick that it is). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/22 02:38 PM |
| 33 | BBC: "As many as 1 in 3 couples deal with financial infidelity." Don't let it be you--your financial vetting should be your strongest vettingThis is one of the many reasons why it's important to get a prenup! You can protect your existing assets and prevent your spouse's debts from becoming yours. Sadly, a really big reason to consider a prenup in the US is to ensure that you're not saddled with medical debt if something happens to your spouse. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/22 09:30 PM |
| 165 | I'll never understand with all pick me's how American males whine so much about American womenThe problem is that LVM whine about the women they can't get and they also complain about the women that they feel are beneath them. These men don't respect women who throw themselves at them and bend over backwards for them, so they'll always see flaws in those women. And instead of focusing on realistic dating options, they think they deserve super models who fuck like porn stars and want to be SAHMs who are independently wealthy to contribute 50/50. I used to work with a man in his 40s who wa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/22 09:22 PM |
| 68 | Make it make senseI absolutely loathe the created narrative that "men are visual creatures," "all men watch porn," and "porn is natural." Masturbation is natural. We all do it. Porn, though? What's natural about watching two (or more) people doing a hardcore anal scene with choking and spitting in front of a camera crew at a production studio from your phone? There is absolutely nothing "natural" about that. Men masturbated for thousands of years without porn, but suddenly it's unfathomable to do it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/22 02:08 PM |
| 79 | It's deplorable that men call women crazy when they behave in a way that isn't subservient or "nice". A woman's actions (this doesn't excuse destructive/bad behavior) are usually a direct result of abusive, controlling, or manipulative behavior. Why aren't men called crazy for their wrongdoings?I was the "crazy" ex-girlfriend. I was irrational at times. I had emotional outbursts. Why was I that way? Well, ladies, it turns out he was lying to me for our entire relationship about something quite huge. Something that negatively impacted me on a daily basis. Instead of being honest with me, he continually doubled down on his lies. Towards the end of our relationship, certain things just didn't make sense to me anymore and I was questioning the reality I lived in, but nothing I did, no amou… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/03/22 01:43 PM |
| 272 | War on Women vs War on MenOh... I seem to have forgotten the part where we're supposed to reward men for existing and "being nice." How silly of me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/03/22 03:34 AM |
| 239 | Most Pickmeishas will tolerate massive amounts of disrespect from NVM but won't tolerate that same disrespect from family and friendsSadly, women are taught from a young age that their ultimate goal is to find a nice man and be a wife. We're indoctrinated from birth that the end goal is a shiny ring and a groom. It results in women bending over backwards to accommodate men, and yes, take abuse from those men that they'd consider unacceptable from their family. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/22 04:01 AM |
| 103 | Become of ZERO UTILITY to men in dating.Yup. I can still make my bed every day without making his by having firm boundaries. A HVM will look at a woman who puts on a helpless act like a dumpster fire. He's going to be especially turned off when he finds out she's lied. The only men you'll attract with this strategy are LVM who want to take advantage of you. That said, it is OK to avoid talking about select things to protect yourself if needed. I wouldn't lie with "Oh, I make like $30,000 per year," but it's fine to say "I'm not comfor… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 02:27 PM |
| 255 | Can we talk about how hard it is not to internalize the message that it’s a woman’s responsibility to “keep her man interested”?I’ve noticed the men who claim they are “looking for a girl who isn’t boring” tend to be the most basic boring personalities possible. Not to mention the fact that men like this discount traditionally feminine hobbies as "basic," "boring," or "not hobbies." If a woman likes makeup tutorials, sews dresses, does yoga, hosts dinner parties, watches drama shows, etc., these men discount all of those things. Brad, tell me more about how your video games and porn collection make you such a unique crea… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/22 11:09 PM |
| 281 | Men are so damn dumb, insecure, and illogical. If you’re dusty just say that. Yeah every time I get up early to go to work and drive 30 miles to the office, it’s definitely to turn on men. No one wants you!!!!!!!!! I need some Zyrtec to clear the dust in my nose.Do men really think that their lack of educational, financial, and career accomplishments turn women on 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/22 04:33 AM |
| 64 | A quality 1ct diamond can be over 10k, BUT Reddit society agrees that $7500 on an engagement ring is INSANEFunny enough, he was the one who was pushing me to get engaged. He was from a small community where it was common to get married after less than a year of dating, and I was the one who wanted to wait. That said, he was extremely cheap. I'm quite frugal, but this incident highlighted his extreme stinginess. With him, I would have been signing up for a lifetime of "but your sweater with the holes in it is still wearable" and "what's wrong with your 2005 Honda Civic?" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/22 05:29 AM |
| 456 | A quality 1ct diamond can be over 10k, BUT Reddit society agrees that $7500 on an engagement ring is INSANEEven if he does buy her the ring, it won't even be worth it (emotionally) at this point. He's going to hold it over her for the rest of their lives. In my early 20's, I asked my ex for a Tiffany's necklace for Christmas. Nothing fancy. It was a very inexpensive, entry level Tiffany's item for around $200. He lived with his parents paying $500/mo rent and worked full time in a good job so it wasn't an unrealistic ask. Well, because I asked for "such a big gift," he told me we couldn't go on dates… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/22 01:28 AM |
| 34 | Where to go about communication as a HVW with someone you won't see in person for a while?I'd throw up in my mouth a little when a man asked me for my IG or Snap in OLD. I'm in my early thirties! My standard reply was always "I prefer to communicate on the app until we get to know each other better." If they threw any sort of fit or had any remarks, well, there's the exit. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/22 09:25 PM |
| 48 | Scrote is mad that his date has standardsProbably $28,500 for the car and $1,500 for the wedding. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/22 04:36 PM |
| 30 | Should we avoid dating men of certain occupations if we don't want kids?Ugh. PPD. I stopped going there because every argument ended up being the same, and no one took any woman's opinion seriously. A woman could say "I do X, and I found an academic study that says 98% of women do X" and the reply would be "nO wOmEn Do Y, nO X." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/22 04:26 PM |
| 223 | Scrote is trying to take his date to a storage unit to make her clean it!These are the men that complain that they get "friend zoned." Because they're asking their date to clean literal garbage up. Then they scratch their balls and wonder why women aren't fawning over them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/22 05:57 AM |
| 504 | Hmmm, Am I Crazy or Are Women Wising Up?I agree with others that many women are less interested in risky behavior like meeting strangers during the pandemic. Also, we're collectively exhausted, stressed, anxious, worn out, tired... many of us recognize that we can't be wasting our limited energy and free time on things that don't add value to our lives. Most days, I'm barely slogging through and don't have the energy for anything besides rotting in front of the TV, let alone casual sex with all the risks it has. Just no. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/22 10:27 PM |
| 129 | Purposefully doing things to drive up his gf’s utility bill…I thought I read it all 🤦🏼♀️ (repost!)That post was wild. Like, straight up what the fuck? He's upset his girlfriend made a smart financial decision for his home, and he's being a brat to stick it to her. For what? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/22 04:41 AM |
| 160 | Casual Sex ConfusionWhat's your end goal? Are you looking for a stable relationship? Do you want marriage? Even if you're OK with the huge risks that come along with casual sex (I'm not), you're wasting your time if your objective is to find a partner. There's a 0.002% chance something that's just a good romp ends in something long term, and you're investing energy in quick ego boosts instead of focusing on what you really want. So, how do you do it? You focus on the end goal. Recognize that you need to stop focusi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/01/22 04:07 AM |
| 135 | You can date a man for ten months, think you're his girlfriend and he will still say you're "casual" and go behind your back and find a whole new girlfriend.This queen must have sensed something was off with him (he was seeing other women) and didn't sleep with him.ideally transition to a friendship Don't. Just don't. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/01/22 03:47 AM |
| 85 | Some of the creatures lurking on online dating sitesThe bigger problem is some men don't even have the self awareness to recognize they would be a burden to anyone. They genuinely think they have something to offer women despite their "minor flaws and quirks." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/01/22 04:29 PM |
| 74 | Let’s talk about choosing not to blockWhy would I let someone talk crazy to me, disrespect me, or bring vibes I don’t like onto my phone? I learned this lesson the hard way. Learn from my mistakes. I was with my NVM for around 3 years, and after I broke up with him, I didn't block him immediately. There were some logistical things we had to sort through since we had been living together, and I thought blocking him was drastic. Well, then we no longer needed to be in touch, but he still found random excuses to reach out (eg. "I know … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/01/22 09:10 PM |
| 48 | What do you think of your partner having long weekends without you?I'll add a few more red flags: - He expects you to just accommodate his travel plans by helping him out at home without even attempting to make alternate arrangements (eg. if he just expects you to come over to walk his dog three times a day while he's out instead of paying to get a dog walking service) - Conversations about travel aren't happening with you being given sufficient notice and you don't have an opportunity to give your opinion (eg. "I'd like to go away with the boys the weekend of … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/01/22 08:13 PM |
| 42 | REMINDER: Those "small signs" that you let slide at the beginning of the relationship? Those aren't "nothing" - they are 3-seconds teaser to what's coming.For me, it would have been helpful to see all the red flags together instead of being distracted by the red flag in front of me. I feel like when I was upset about A, I forgot about B, C and D, and it was this bad habit of "Well, A isn't so bad..." when it really was once you lumped it in with all the other problems. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/22 04:22 PM |
| 99 | REMINDER: Those "small signs" that you let slide at the beginning of the relationship? Those aren't "nothing" - they are 3-seconds teaser to what's coming.I wish I had paid attention to the small red flags earlier on in my last relationship. Looking back, they were there from our first date, but I kept making excuses for them. They started out as little yellow flags which could be just symptoms of a new relationship but over time became bright red. All of the problems that would pop up in our three year relationship reared their ugly heads within the first six months, just in less dramatic ways. I recently came across a therapeutic writing piece I… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/22 04:06 PM |
| 95 | you're allowed to want a fairytale wedding & a pricey ringThis is just another way society gaslights women. Girls are taught to want the big wedding and how important finding a man is. They're sold the narrative of the fairytale wedding and happily ever after. Little girls have toys and media all about marriage from a very early age. We've been daydreaming about our wedding from a young age because we were taught to. Boys have none of the sort. Then when these girls grow up and get to be marriage age, suddenly society is like "You want a big wedding an… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/01/22 09:38 PM |
| 30 | Just another day in the mind of a LVM. Men shouldn’t be allowed to date, they’re evolving from walks to wanting to run errands on dates for their own benefitLet's just not. These are the men that come to Reddit to complain about how every woman says she doesn't feel the chemistry. I commented in a post once that a man's lack of dating success might be tied to the fact he invites every woman for walking dates, and all the replies were like "WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT??!!? A man shouldn't have to buy dinner blah blah blah!!!" Well, if you want someone to see you in a romantic way, a walk isn't doing you any favors, especially compared to the men who are w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/01/22 02:47 PM |
| 215 | Text: I have a few minutes, Do you want to talk on phone?He likes the attention he gets from you, but he clearly has no interest meeting you in person. Block. Delete. Next. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/01/22 07:11 AM |
| 120 | This is what people on reddit consider "heartwarming"-women doing all the emotional and physical labor for men while they have breakdownsSome men think that women don't like emotional or weak men. They say we don't like men who show emotions, cry, get sad, or have bad days. That's not it at all. What we don't like -and shouldn't put up with- is men who use us as their own source of emotional support. Too many men refuse to seek help and expect their partner to just burden the load, even if they're not prepared to. My ex needed help from his friends, family, and professionals, except he made zero effort to get support from anyone … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/01/22 08:16 PM |
| 42 | Are they ridiculous, or do you have a husband that won’t do basic shit!Years ago, I briefly dated a man with a porn addiction. When we started dating, I didn't understand how enslaved he was to pornography, and I didn't know the full negative effects of his habits. Unsurprisingly, the sex was terrible, and he had ED. I kept asking him to see a doctor, and he had no interest. He said he went to one once who didn't seem concerned, but I got the impression that he didn't disclose the full extent of his issues and why he had them. I left because the sex was awful, but … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/01/22 02:26 PM |
| 42 | Spoiling men financially is always a mistakeMy boyfriend and I set a budget for our holiday presents this year. I did a great job finding him a wonderful, thoughtful gift within our agreed upon budget. He did a great job finding me a wonderful, thoughtful gift for more than double our agreed upon budget. I ain't mad. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/01/22 05:13 AM |
| 93 | Saw this on a popular subreddit and it grosses me out that chivalry is dead and they are promoting women engage in masculine behaviors. Don't we earn less anyway?The problem with this message is that most women already treat their men like kings... in every other way except 50/50 finances. It always boils down to money... Where's the "If your woman cleans the kitchen, scrub the toilets. If she makes lunch, make dinner. If she takes the kids out for a day so you can relax, get her a solo weekend getaway. If he's having a rough day, help her out. Stop expecting to be treated like a king while you are not treating her like a queen." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/22 03:37 PM |
| 14 | To those raised by guardians in an age gap relationship, what did you observe?They didn't raise me, but my aunt was 14 years older than my uncle. Even though I was still pretty young when they divorced, I understood two things: 1) he was basically a kept man who didn't feel the need to contribute financially, 2) he left her because they were unable to have kids and knew he had a chance at finding a younger woman to have a family with because he was only in his early/mid thirties. My parents don't have much of an age gap (two years), and seeing them versus my aunt's relati… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/22 01:31 PM |
| 114 | Dating 'travellers' and the VisaI'm an immigrant living in America, and one of the rules I set up for myself when I moved here was that I wasn't going to get married until I had my green card through work. Sure, I dated before I got my green card, but I promised myself I wouldn't have my legal residency tied to someone else. Even if I met Mr. Perfect, I was staying unwed until I had my green card. Unless someone has a solid plan to get permanent residency on their own (like I did), I'm pretty wary of situations like this. Immi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/22 05:23 AM |
| 247 | I prefer men to have the emotional strength to call out their fellow men, thanksToo many men can't wrap their heads around the fact the game has changed. They romanticize the traditional male roles, and their lack of relationship success ties back to their inability to adapt. Women don't need strong men. They're not out in the fields plowing for hours. They're not hunting bison with bows and arrows. They're not building houses with their bare hands. They're not protecting us from animals in the woods. Strength provides us no value anymore. You know what does provide value? … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/22 04:20 PM |
| 24 | Looking for some positivityIn 2021, I finished my Master's degree, got an incredible promotion at work, and became a people manager for the first time. My net worth also went up 20%, which is wild, mainly due to the value of my home. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/22 03:50 PM |
| 54 | I made it!!! Yay!Something single people hear all the time is "just focus on yourself, use this time to improve yourself." While I sort of agree with that statement, it perpetuates the idea that you need to be at a certain level of self development to get a partner, and it also diminishes the fact you should be improving yourself regardless of your relationship status. When I was single, I hated the "just work on yourself" nonsense because I knew I didn't need to improve to catch a man. What I like much better i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 03:35 PM |
| 54 | Never stop vetting! Even after being faithful to your partner for 8 years, he could still think that he can do better and want to bang other women. Scrotes like this just want to get their dick wet and are never satisfied no matter how spectacular their gf is.That's the narrative of at least half the open relationship posts on other subreddits, and I never get tired of it. It's either the man posting saying he's not getting any while his wife is out living, or it's the woman saying she's happier now but her husband isn't because he's not getting any. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 03:19 PM |
| 394 | They’re “not in a relationship” but “exclusive” after 6 months of dating 🚩🤡and it turns out he’s a creep and a liarAlmost this exact thing happened to a friend of mine! She was 22, and when they met, her ex-boyfriend said he was 31. Well, it turns out he was actually 40 (and had plastic surgery to keep himself looking young). She left him the next day. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/22 06:01 PM |
| 86 | "I'm feeling blamed""I feel like a bad person" My ex used to say "You deserve someone better..." with this sad, puppy dog look on his face any time I was upset about something that I was well within my right to be upset for. Like you, one day I snapped and started saying "You know what I hear when you say that? All I hear is 'you deserve better, but I don't think you're worth the effort for me to actually be better for.' Is that more accurate? If you thought I was such a catch, wouldn't you actually put in the effo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/22 03:35 PM |
| 82 | Men can't admit they can't pleasure women and that's why we replace themMy vibrator also doesn't expect me to shave my legs, put on lingerie, leave the house, or put in any additional effort. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/22 01:28 AM |
| 205 | Having a baby via sperm donorThere's a small Single Mothers By Choice subreddit if you're looking for others in the same situation. (Not going to link it in case it's against this sub's rules, but if you Google it, it will come up as one of the first hits.) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/22 05:21 PM |
| 175 | Tell me a pickme runs a page without telling me…I'm glad you said something. Too many men paint their exes as evil harpies who are keeping them away from their kids. Of course, some women eat that up and feel sorry for their men who just want to be involved dads. Similar to what we say in dating, when it comes to being a more active father, if he wanted to, he would. At a minimum, even if he did have zero contact with his kids, he'd be working with a family attorney and consistently tracking attempts to see them to improve his chances in cour… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/01/22 04:28 PM |
| 82 | Online dating just to practice or learn FDS?Your time is very valuable This is why this idea is a "no" from me. We only have so much time and energy in the day. OP, is your time and energy better spent swiping through profiles or invested in activities that actually benefit you in some way? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/21 09:31 PM |
| 178 | Be aware of “holiday daters” looking for an entertainment while on vacation.I'm not a tour guide, a local hot spot, or a tourist attraction. I don't entertain men who are "just visiting" or "in town until [date]." The audacity to expect some woman to show you around, fuck you, and whatnot. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/21 06:31 PM |
| 67 | Paying off someone else’s debt?The problem with situations like this is that the woman usually isn't making tons of money and is scrapping together dollars to pay of debt or to treat her man. It's like "I didn't eat out, buy tampons, or get a hair cut for 9 months in order to save an extra $250/mo. for him!" After months of sacrifice, she surprises him, he's thrilled, but forgets within a few years. He doesn't appreciate it after a while. My dad paid off my mom's debt when they were dating. He was a making a lot of money at t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/21 05:08 PM |
| 28 | Don't fall for the "I was planning to/going to do xyz...for Christmas"A former therapist once told me "People judge themselves on their intentions, others judge them on their actions." That basically sums up why of the "I was planning to/going to do xyz...for Christmas" charade. I dated two men who pulled that stunt. Worse was when they'd randomly say "Hey, I'll do X for you" without me asking, and then when they didn't do it, I'd be upset. For example, one ex told me he loved doing yard work and would take care of mowing the lawn. Great! Hated that chore. Needles… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/21 10:30 PM |
| 100 | Is it a red flag if he makes a comment about the Uber being expensive?Was this a first date? Girl, it's a gigantic red flag that you let yourself go to a stranger's apartment! Why are you trusting people you barely know? And yes, it would be a red flag if I spent my time, money, and energy delivering myself to a man's house, and he complained about the price to send me home. In the future, though, remember that we don't wear signs that say "We Deliver." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/21 05:23 AM |
| 65 | For years I lost myself in BDSM and let men abuse me. Now I want to quit. Please helpIt's wonderful that you're taking steps to improve your quality of life by recognizing unhealthy behaviors, leaving BDSM, and working with a therapist. Unfortunately, these things take time. The only thing you can do is trust the process and be patient. You have over ten years of trauma to work through, and you're taking the steps you need. I'm sure the COVID situation isn't helping either as you're not able to start socializing in different circles or meeting different people. Sending you so mu… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/21 05:14 AM |
| 85 | RANT: aDvEnTuRoUs guysA lot of men who claim to be outdoorsy, adventurous, big campers, avid hikers, etc... are just straight up dilutional about their hobbies. A HVW friend of mine is extremely outdoorsy. Like, hike 10 miles a day and camp in the woods at night kind of outdoorsy. She's always disappointed when she asks for men to clarify their hobbies because it's like "oh, I go camping for two nights every summer" or "my friends and I do a 5 mile hike every month!" My friend is looking for someone who can actually … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/21 03:36 PM |
| 207 | It’s just me or you also find man cave a bull$hit ?It's absolute bullshit when a man gets an office with a door to himself and the woman gets a small reading chair in the corner of the living room "to herself." I'm fine with a man having his own space in the house if the woman also gets her own space in the house. With more couples working from home now and in the foreseeable future, women are going to need to make sure they get their own private space within the house. Advocate for the space you need to work and play. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/21 03:29 PM |
| 88 | LVM lining up for cheap, tacky, overpriced jewellery two days before Christmas. The comments are defending them. “bE gRaTeFuL” for the bare minimum? Nah.Pandora stuff isn’t even nice. I'd cry the bad tears if my man bought me Pandora jewelry. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/21 03:20 PM |
| 376 | Love hearing about women leaving when they had enough! Saying no to couples counseling because she recognizes that there's nothing else she can possibly cOmMunIcaTe to himWhat's with men coming to Reddit asking "how could I possibly fix my situation!?!?!?" when their partners are literally spelling out what they need? Your wife needed help for years, and you "loafed around most of the time," leaving her stressed, frazzled, and exhausted. What she needs now is to divorce you and move on with her life without you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/21 01:00 AM |
| 164 | These scrotes and their manipulative psychological warfare are becoming obsolete. They are beginning to understand that they are not the prize and women don't care to be involved with NV/LV males just to say "I have a man".Why can't we have families without men? One of the best parts of women being financially independent and successful is the option to be a single mom by choice. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 04:11 AM |
| 436 | Yes.I was the crazy ex-girlfriend? You know, the one who had emotional outbursts? Well, as it turns out, my ex was gaslighting me and lying to me our entire relationship. He kept pulling these little stunts to protect his secrets. Every time I came close to finding out the truth, he'd call me "too emotional" and refuse to continue the conversation. "I can't keep talking about this with you. You're too emotional!!!" Yeah... so, the only flaw I had was believing his lying ass. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 01:35 AM |
| 162 | I really hope this is a generational thing, but imagine only "expressing an interest in learning how to cook" after your wife dies and relying on your children for meals...This is why men rush to remarry after a divorce or death. They can't take care of themselves, and they have zero interest in learning. Don't marry a man like this unless you want to be a caretaker for the rest of your life. We can retire from our careers and enjoy our old age, but if you're the one who's been managing the household either as a SAHM or on top of a career, you will never get a break. The man gets to do whatever he wants and "enjoy his old age" while the woman has to keep up with t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 05:35 PM |
| 189 | cringe Slate post on 50/50Woman doesn't pay equally for dates? "Not a team player." Man doesn't take on equal household management? "He just works really hard, and he just doesn't know how to scrub the toilet. He deserves to relax." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 05:27 PM |
| 29 | “Merry Christmas from me and my family, whom I hate!”It wouldn't even be funny if it were original. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 05:25 PM |
| 24 | How long to wait after divorce to date with kids?Parents should wait at least a year after the divorce (yes, not just separation) to start dating. They need time to heal from the breakup, relearn how to be single again, and go through the awkward early stages of figuring out co-parenting. BUT, and here's the big but, every parent needs to ask themselves if they are willing to make the sacrifices to be in a relationship. Do they just want a partner, or are they also ready to be a partner in return? It's hard to balance being an effective parent… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 03:28 PM |
| 146 | What is it with men and being greedy and wanting open relationships?A few average looking men on social media have found pickmes to be in open relationships with to fulfil their porn fantasies, and now every man thinks he's entitled to the same. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 05:28 AM |
| 239 | Everyone in this supposed feminist sub is telling her to propose herselfI don't need a ring to love him. That's true. No woman needs a ring to love her partner. What a woman does need, though, is the commitment, security, and respect marriage brings. I know that if I end up in a relationship where I'm not engaged within ~2 years, I need to have the self respect to love myself enough to walk away. It doesn't matter how much I love him. I need to love me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 05:26 AM |
| 78 | Another Cringey Article Glamorizing Polygamy as Being More 'Secure' and 'Open-Minded': "My Husband's Girlfriend Is One Of My Best Friends. Here's How Our Family Works."It sounds like the author and her husband have found themselves a bangmaid. The girlfriend sleeps with the husband, cooks family dinner, and babysits the kids for extended periods of time...? What the hells is she getting out of this arrangement aside from dick and dishes to wash? Edit: To add, I feel really sorry for the girlfriend. I hope she recognizes that her needs are important, too, and she's being taken advantage of. She deserves more. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 05:21 AM |
| 58 | Doomscrolling: why we need to be picky on the internetYes! This is wonderful advice. I highly recommend reading the book Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. A key takeaway from the book is that social media is simply a tool that we can use for productivity or not. He has three steps for evaluating any social media activity: Define your goals and what you want to accomplish in life (eg. I want to build a large professional network). Determine which social media platforms can help you with that (eg. I'll spend an hour a day on LinkedIn connecting with… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/21 05:30 PM |
| 587 | Yep, just about what I expected 😡Also, the lie that "sex work is minimal effort, oh so easy." Men think acting sexy, producing content, having intercourse, etc... is a dream come true and would take zero effort. Except, it's a lot of work. A LOT of work. Anyone getting into OnlyFans (or any content creator) right now has a ton of competition. I know a woman who makes bank on OF, and she has a whole team now to assist her. No average woman can just step in and compete with that. It's hard to create boundaries, you have to consta… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/21 05:24 PM |
| 141 | Friends that make questionable relationship decisions like this are LV. I don’t understand how the entire friend group KNOWS it’s disgusting and yet…no one steps up to call him out. Gross.In my early 30's, I was in a relationship with a man in his early 40's. I felt young and out of place in his friend group at times even though my career and finances were on par with the lot. I can't even imagine the dynamic here... Eyeroll to how OP has to point out many times "it's technically legal." Come on. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/21 05:17 PM |
| 39 | How do you find out a guy’s dick size without sleeping with them?Most women are probably saying "size hasn't been an issue for me (yet)" more than "size isn't an issue for me, period." The men I had dated were generally average or above average size so "size wasn't an issue for me." Then I slept with a man with a micro penis, and then yeah, I cared much more about size. The women who "don't care" probably haven't slept with anyone who hasn't been at least average or so. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/21 05:28 AM |
| 4 | A ‘perfect’ Xmas gift for your ‘indecisive’ gf: a flipping coin with your names on it. Great, now we can even go 50/50 on date night ideas! And it only costs $10. 🤦🏼♀️"The coin said yes to anal. It's the rule." Barf. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/21 05:21 AM |
| 6 | I learned this lesson the hard way - looking outside yourself for validation will make you feel powerless and desperate. Look within to find true power by developing a strong sense of selfThis applies to friendships, too! With social media, we've created this culture of "I have to stay in touch with everyone forever and care what everyone is doing." We don't have to. We're not meant to. We're only meant to have 150 people in our extended social circles. It's OK to recognize a friendship no longer serves you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/21 02:59 PM |
| 263 | Would you date someone who doesn’t understand misogyny?No. It just shows a general lack of education and empathy. Yes, we all know #notallmen, and yes, certain things have improved for certain women. But... it's still #waytoomanymen, and there are plenty of women still in crap situations. My NVM ex had this attitude (and probably still does) that things are now harder on men. He was unable to see things from different perspectives, and this just highlights how "me, me, me" selfish he always was. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/21 05:34 AM |
| 35 | My Friend's Husband is About to Ruin Her Entire Career. This is why you should always be financially independentI almost dropped out of my Master's at the start of the program because of my ex and his family drama. I could handle full-time work and part-time school, but it was a nightmare with all his bullshit added to the mix. I was stressed out all the time, and I was seriously considering dropping out. Of course, he did nothing to either make things easier on me or to protect me from all the chaos. It was awful. On the other hand, when I graduated nearly three years later, I was in a different relation… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/21 03:15 PM |
| 102 | Holiday Tip: His Family is his problem. NOT YOURSYears ago, I was in a relationship with a NVM. I'd let myself get stressed out doing things that should have either been a shared responsibility or just straight up his problem. One thing I learned to ask myself was "What is the worst that happens if I don't do X?" It made me critically think about what I was doing, accept the consequences, and move on. That question can apply perfectly to jumping in with in-laws, too. If you're stressed out or dealing with something that should be your partner'… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/21 08:30 PM |
| 22 | Marriage is a financial contract. Many IRL examples are showing it does not protect us the way we think it does. If knowledgeable please advise. (CF)The question isn't "Does it make sense for a CF woman to get married?" The real question is "Does it make sense for me to get married?" Marriage is an extremely personal decision. There's a lot of things besides just "I get money in a divorce" that a marriage provides, though. For example, there are inheritance laws for next of kin and medical decision making capabilities that an unwed couple are not granted. A couple can (and many gay couples did) mimic certain aspects of marriage through other… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 03:39 PM |
| 29 | Am I on a different planet? 🙃We're taught these days that we need to stay friends with people forever. Because of social media, there's an expectation that we stay friends with people from high school and keep up with what they're doing. In reality, there's no reason our friend groups can't change as we do. I understand you want to stay in touch with some of your friends, but it's also important to allow yourself to get new friends without guilt and let some friendships go if needed. Or even just evolve. It's definitely har… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 03:23 PM |
| 61 | Everyday I read multiple posts on Reddit about women being abuse by their SO or men in their life. Most of them don’t even realize they are being abused.It breaks my heart to see. Over and over again, there's tales of women setting themselves on fire to keep shitty men warm. Just yesterday on AITA, a woman asked if she was an asshole for expecting a gift from her SO for Christmas. For starters, that's a very basic relationship request, and he had gaslit her into believing that she was a materialistic banshee for wanting something for the holidays. Then it comes out that he doesn't want to get her a gift because he has limited funds from only wor… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 03:18 PM |
| 15 | Help! Any tips for dealing with interfering colleagues?First thing, if you think you have ADHD, you need to seek help for it. You mention a few times that you have "possible ADHD," and setting boundaries with colleagues, while still important, won't really solve your problems or improve your quality of life. You need to get a proper diagnosis and treatment for the root cause if the issues. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/12/21 03:59 PM |
| 795 | Sometimes men of all classes just don’t listenThis is a very common theme with men: they don't listen to what you're asking for, give you something else, and then act confused when you're not leaping for joy over the thing you didn't ask for. My NVM ex did this all the time, and it was frustrating. Here's an example: Judy is stressed about her big presentation to leadership later that day, and she asks Hank to make her coffee for the road while she gets ready for work. Hank goes down to the kitchen and gets distracted unloading the dishwash… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/12/21 03:45 PM |
| 99 | Negotiation tactic: always be willing to walk awayalways, always be willing to walk away And always, always have the resources available to be able to walk away. This is reason 239023 why we tell women to maintain their careers and financial independence. Never allow yourself to be in the position to be unable to walk away because you're relying on a man for your livelihood. My mom always told me that you should always be able to take the kids and go in a worst case scenario. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/21 04:36 AM |
| 206 | Men will try to make their porn-sick ideas seem like a good idea for both of youAlas, now she’s telling me that actually he wants to do it for HER. The only way I'm buying this is if he's a straight man asking for a threesome with her and another man. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/12/21 10:00 PM |
| 39 | I came across this exercise from FDS recommended book "the power of pu*sy" and it had me a bit stumped! Would love to hear you ladies' opinions, if you'd wish to share! *WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MEN?*It's very important to be honest with yourself and recognize what you want from a man might not be what others want from men. It's really easy for us to fall into the traps of what society tells us we're "supposed to" want, and those things might not truly be beneficial to your life. For example, I don't necessarily need a man who gifts me lavish gifts, but I absolutely need a man who will take on his share of household management. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 05:27 PM |
| 27 | Older does not mean wiser and they always use the "she's such an old soul" bsMy last two boyfriends were ten years older than me. After I ended things with the second, I drastically re-evaluated my acceptable age ranges. The amount of baggage these men bring to relationships is astounding. No benefit they could possibly bring outweighs it. Needless to say, current boyfriend and I were born in the same year. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 04:59 PM |
| 13 | Ask Amy: I think my wife is lazy for not having a career while raising our kidsI'm so glad you're out of that marriage! Men like that are unhappy with themselves, but it's easier to blame the women around them than take an ounce of accountability. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 03:32 PM |
| 242 | Actions speak louder than wordsA former therapist of mine once told me: "People judge themselves by their intent. Others judge them by their actions." This has been a theme in a few of my relationships, and men who pat themselves on the back for intent are not worth sticking with. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/21 08:14 PM |
| 99 | Mamabaiting 101: Beware of the manbaby! How LVM trick you into taking on the leadership role in a relationship 👶 🍼 Watch out for these red flagsMy 40-something ex once tried to play the "I'm just a dumb boy - I don't know how to take care of a household or what needs to get done!" card. I lost it on him. We broke up for other reasons very shortly after, and I was not sad when my household load drastically reduced when he left. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/21 05:58 PM |
| 234 | This is the kinda shit we women have to put up with on OLDAnd then they scratch their balls wondering why no woman is matching with them...! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/21 05:21 PM |
| 79 | Just broke up with a sweet, funny, kind and attentive guy, because he works a minimum wage jobThe reality is that money is a very important part of life, and finances are one of the biggest sources of stress in a relationship. I want to live a certain lifestyle, and I need a partner who can afford to live that lifestyle. I make around $150K/yr, and I don't expect a man to pay for the things I want, but I do expect him to be able to pay for himself. I want to be able to jet off to Europe for three weeks (COVID-willing), and I want it to be financially feasible for my partner to do it. I k… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/21 05:02 PM |
| 272 | Just broke up with a sweet, funny, kind and attentive guy, because he works a minimum wage jobMen don't appreciate women who build them up. You see this all the time with SAHMs. These women sacrifice their careers and livelihoods to raise kids and make a man's life much easier. Then when he's "made it," he looks at his wife and thinks he can do better. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/21 04:49 PM |
| 259 | Adding on to the funny post earlier about hobosexuals. Men using women to have a roof over their head is common this time of year. Here is a very helpful video I watch every now and then that I believe will be helpful to you ladies in weeding out men who just want to use you to have a place to stayWhile this advice is spot on, I also want to add that you need to be very clear about the division of labor in the home before moving in with someone. This video focuses entirely on finances, which are extremely important, but don't forget to vet for household management, too. It can be easy to be tricked into thinking "oh, he's got his finances together," and then be stuck doing all the scrubbing, washing, and folding once you move in together. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/12/21 04:56 PM |
| 67 | Put Yourself Out There!Online dating is a waste of time. Could you find a HVM on there? Yes, it could happen, but you'd have to swipe through and vet 293,394 LVM to find him. It's not a good use of anyone's time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/12/21 04:03 PM |
| 244 | Wonder why he stuck around for 3 dates... Just when you think men can't get any worseThe lesson I take away from this is that when a man rejects you, don’t dig for the reason. Yup. The last guy who rejected me (after 2-3 months) told me (unprompted) I was "really funny, but not the right kind of funny." What the fuck does that even mean? This was a part of his giant text he sent me to "soften the blow." I would have rather he just said "not interested" and left it at that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/12/21 03:39 PM |
| 183 | Falling in love should be a stress-free experience for youOne of the biggest lies women are fed is that "relationships are tough," "relationships are hard work," and that drama, fights, arguments, blah blah blah. This is not true. Yes, relationships aren't always 100% easy breezy, but they're not the drama-filled rollercoaster we're led to believe. I dated a NVM for three years, and our relationship was like a soap opera. The problem was that with all the "true love is worth it" bullshit we've been fed, I didn't have the sense to recognize that the who… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/12/21 03:10 PM |
| 51 | Would *YOU* be angry? If not, stop making excuses for men!!!Going down on her is “not something he does,” she says this explicitly. I don't date picky eaters. It's not worth it. Any man I'm with has to enjoy eating both a varied diet and share of pussy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/12/21 04:41 AM |
| 98 | Would you date someone divorced/ have kids?Been there, done that, won’t do it again. Same. I dated a divorced dad for three years. Being a stepmom (or "daddy's girlfriend") comes with a plethora of challenges, and it's completely thankless. I made countless sacrifices and compromises for my ex, and he barely even acknowledged them. Society's expectation is that the needs and wants of the stepparents come dead last. kIdS fIrSt. While the children absolutely need to be prioritized, it's completely unreasonable to expect an adult to have no… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/21 04:10 PM |
| 68 | Men are emotionally stuntedI read an amazing article somewhere recently about this. I wish I had saved it. The tl;dr is that girls are taught from a young age how to deal with emotions, other people, and inter-personal conflict. The books, shows, movies, magazines, etc. targeted towards girls focus on how to successfully interact with others whereas boy content seems to be more superheroes who just are the star. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/21 07:56 PM |
| 31 | An increasing number of women are paying alimony to LVM husbandsThis is part of the reason we all need to ensure we're signing prenups. Too many people scoff at prenups like "oh, we're not planning to get divorced," but shit happens. The reality is that we all have prenups already, they're just the default ones the state has created for divorces. So do yourself a favor and ensure you're setting yourself up with a prenup that will ensure your assets are protected favorably (for example, if you're a higher earner, splitting marital assets by percentage of earn… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/21 04:16 PM |
| 29 | FDS Gift Guide?When I'm dating someone, I always discuss budgets first for things like the holidays where we'd be exchanging gifts, and make an educated guess for something like a birthday if his comes first. After a few months, though, you should know your partner's gifting style, and if it's not good, it's a sign to leave. I'm an exceptional gift giver, and while I recognize others struggle with gift giving more than I do, there's a line between "I don't consider myself a good gift giver but I put in effort"… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/21 03:42 PM |
| 64 | Roast-A-Scrote 🔥male narcissist edition 😝JuSt a JiM lOoKiNg FoR mY pAm. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/21 03:22 PM |
| 15 | How come ladies say you don’t want to be the “ride or die” woman to a man who grew to be successful with you?Because usually in his mind you didn't "make it together". OP, go on any male-focused relationship forum, and you'll see countless examples of this. A woman could stay at home watching three kids, keeping a spotless house, cooking gourmet meals, managing the household, planning birthday parties, booking vacations... doing all the work the household requires so her husband could focus on his career. Most men don't recognize the work she does or how it helps him or adds any value to his life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/21 03:16 PM |
| 304 | This had me howling!! 🎶Leave us alone, please leave us alone 🎶..she needs to be out, clubbing, every night Oh, but don't forget, men aren't into those types of women. He must expect them to be going exclusively to book clubs, knitting groups, and religious events at 8:00 PM. Ugh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/21 08:05 PM |
| 59 | For the men who complain about dead bedrooms, how does it feel to be the architect of you own misery?Most men don’t try AT ALL. I've pointed this out on dating subs before. Back in my OLD days, I'd see countless men who did absolutely nothing to look good. I passed up hundreds of guys who probably could have been attractive but who didn't bother. When I've pointed this out in other subs, men whined "oh, what does it matter she'll date cHaD anyways!!!" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/21 03:49 PM |
| 325 | I think she's serious 😂Women who propose to their boyfriends because they are desperate for marriage after years of waiting are only getting more excuses, delays, and frustration. A wedding can be delayed just as long as a proposal! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/11/21 01:37 PM |
| 118 | HVW Texting PatternsMy philosophy is that this varies from person to person. There's no "right" answer here. Some people love to text all day. Others don't. What matters is: Does he demonstrate consistent interest to you through consistent communication? For example, do you feel secure in things with him between dates, or does his lack of texting make you feel insecure and uncertain? Does he communicate at a frequency you find acceptable? For example, if you can only text outside of working hours, does he respect t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/11/21 04:50 AM |
| 423 | I have no wordsBut don't forget, she has to be "low maintenance," while also somehow simultaneously looking like an IG model or porn star with a full team of professional help. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/11/21 04:39 AM |
| 98 | I have no wordsAs if he really thinks other people are going to notice the hair towel? Exactly! I went on a long holiday with my boyfriend's family, and I could have brought the kitchen sink with me and no one would have noticed. I doubt anyone would have noticed, cared, or really registered the hair towel. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/11/21 04:38 AM |
| 60 | Men don't care about women. They won't even engage with a book/movie/TV show if it was written by or centres a woman. They have class solidarity only with each otherThis is why I went to see Eternals in theaters. It's a diverse cast of superhero characters including \gasp** two women over forty. Early speculation suggested low ratings and low viewership because the heroes weren't all straight white males. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/11/21 01:43 AM |
| 119 | This ancient dating wisdom still applies to modern dating. Young women: beware age gaps and older men.Even if an older man is absolutely perfect in every other way (lol)... I strongly recommend against an age gap because you do not want to spend your golden years taking care of an aging man. There's a huge difference between my parents' health in their fifties, sixties, and seventies. I can't imagine being 50 and taking care of a 65 year old. Especially after sacrificing your youth for him. We do not talk about this enough. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/11/21 03:26 PM |
| 70 | Right as we are about to get a place, I found out my boyfriend lied about his income.I ended my last relationship because of a lie. The lie itself sucked, but I knew that I'd never be able to trust him again. If it was so easy to lie over something once, why wouldn't he continue to lie in the future about something else? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/21 10:33 PM |
| 9 | Be weary of “surprise” dates that mask as incompetenceI hate surprises. If a man plans a "surprise date," he needs to provide information about the venue (indoor/outdoor), dress code, timeframe (afternoon/evening), duration, walking requirements, etc. There's no "oh, it's just a surprise show up whenever." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/21 03:31 PM |
| 56 | What do men contribute anyway?I've seen so many men argue that a woman-led society would fail because we'd never be able to do manual labor. I'm sure we'd figure it out somehow... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/21 03:17 PM |
| 32 | Help me out of this spiralI've had a few men reach out over the years to "apologize for their actions." Like you said, it's entirely because of their needs. It has nothing to do with me. I wasn't asking for an apology, and that that point, I didn't even care to have one. It was more of a nuisance than anything. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/21 03:08 PM |
| 51 | Why do men “not want a relationship” because of a breakup ages ago, but women are still willing to seek real connections and love despite the amount of horror we’ve gone through?Whenever I have encountered this comment, it's because the guy already has another two or so girls that he is screwing around with and you are the backup. Either that or he's lukewarm about you. You're good enough to keep around for flirting and sex, but he's not keen enough on you to actually want to commit. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/21 03:00 PM |
| 42 | I present you the most useless man on planet earth!they would ban anyone posting comments dissing modding as a "career" Reddit can also start getting into some weird legal territory with mods claiming this is their job or that they can't work, etc. Volunteering is a big grey area for corporations. I used to mod a pretty big subreddit, and it sucked. I wasn't sad when my lifestyle changed, and I was no longer a good fit for their community. At all. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/21 10:01 PM |
| 100 | IMO, there's no fixed way to determine whether a man you're dating is actually good.Pets love their owners unconditionally. What narcissistic man doesn't love a dog acting like they're the center of the universe? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/21 03:07 PM |
| 126 | "Men don't actually like women, they want to have sex with female anatomy, but they don't like women."I used to frequent a different sub where men would frequently talk about their inability to get dates. Yet, for whatever reason, it was also extremely clear that none of them actually like women, respect women, or want to spend time with women. They talk about their future hypothetical partners like bangmaids that they spend zero time with outside the bedroom unless that time together results in sex (eg. "I'll take her to dinner if she blows me."). It's gross. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/11/21 03:37 PM |
| 46 | "Men don't actually like women, they want to have sex with female anatomy, but they don't like women."I'm also not attracted to women, but I still think his argument is valid. It will become more acceptable for women like us to pair up with other women in non-romantic ways to raise children, build wealth, increase security, etc. while we get sexual satisfaction elsewhere. Dick is abundant and low value. Might as well have a functioning female life partner and get the D elsewhere. I don't think this will be common in our lifetime but definitely could see the future like this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/11/21 03:34 PM |
| 31 | “What we not finna do is waste our damn time!” YES 👏🏻That math checks out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 03:22 PM |
| 716 | Another negging tactic: Men asking your interests then telling you how they dislike themLVM are notorious for discounting any "feminine" hobby or interest, too. They think women are "basic" for enjoying makeup, magazines, TV shows, skincare, yoga, fashion... Yet somehow they all think they're so unique with their interests of video games, sports, and porn. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/11/21 05:21 PM |
| 8 | The described woman seems to be awful, but can we notice that he doesn’t like her YET he still hopes to have sex with her?He says he wanted to see the date until the end so he could have "adult time." Barf. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/11/21 02:04 PM |
| 61 | How do you comfort yourself after a break up?It's so cheesy, but after every break up since my teens, I've read "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken." The book's advice is pretty "well, duh," but at this point, it's like comfort food for me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/11/21 05:19 PM |
| 187 | Studies have shown that men (moreso than women) will leave a relationship / marriage when their partner gets sick. Not to mention the high rate that they abandon their family/parental responsibilities. This is why it's so important to not settle for LVM!Just one example of my dad being a HVM is how he supported my mom through her cancer treatments and bought her a luxury vehicle to celebrate when it was all over. Don't settle for someone who won't do that for you, ladies. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/11/21 05:12 PM |
| 73 | Men Have No Friends and Women Bear the BurdenI see too many men complain about how women "hate men with emotions." Nah, dude. We like men with emotional intelligence. What we don't like is being a man's sole outlet for his emotions, especially when more help is needed. My ex needed much, much more support than I could give him, but he let our relationship suffer because he couldn't be bothered to go to regular therapy, AA, or get support from others. It was rough on me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/11/21 01:32 AM |
| 17 | Importance of political beliefs?My parents are on opposite sides of the political spectrum, and they've made it work for over 35 years. Politics have become a lot more polarizing over the past years, though. When I look at people who have different political views than me, I see people who have different fundamental values and beliefs. Since I'm marriage-minded when dating, I have to ask myself "Is this how I'd want my future kids to think about the world?" I once dated a man from a small town religious community, and that was… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/11/21 04:22 PM |
| 58 | Generalizations aren't wrong.For whatever reason, others like to label us as "evil men haters." We don't hate men at all! The majority of us actually love men. Very much so. Why would we (aside from our lesbian members) be on a dating subreddit if we hated men? What we don't love is being taken advantage of, being used for sex, being abused, being degraded, being treated like slaves, being unappreciated, being disrespected... Funny how somehow asking for basic human decency translates into "hating men." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/11/21 12:41 AM |
| 21 | Do not date men who are “separated”.we're just staying married for the kids I don't agree with this philosophy. They're showing their kids that it's OK to live in a loveless, unhappy household and that it's not important to prioritize your happiness. Better to raise kids in two happy homes than one unhappy one. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/11/21 12:05 AM |
| 46 | Do not date men who are “separated”.Yes! This is what I came here to say. It takes at least a year for the ink to dry on the divorce papers and for all the dust to settle. Even if they were "separated for two years before officially signing," there's a lot of emotions and logistics to work out after. Just... don't. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/11/21 12:04 AM |
| 20 | Criticism of the normalisation of Polyamory/Non-MonogamyMen: Chads get all the hot women!!!! It's not fair. That's why I'm single!!!! Also men: But I can get behind polyamory. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/11/21 03:34 PM |
| 62 | women - vet, vet, vet! because you don't want to be married and with children to a man that thinks like this! motherhood penalty & fatherhood bonus exist! inquire about their thoughts on the labour force and what they think are the sources of wage inequality!Many men claim they'd be OK with an easier, lower wage jobs except for the fact that evil, money-grubbing women expect them to provide a certain quality of life. I'm not interested in men who act like they only want nice things because women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/11/21 03:23 PM |
| 67 | women - vet, vet, vet! because you don't want to be married and with children to a man that thinks like this! motherhood penalty & fatherhood bonus exist! inquire about their thoughts on the labour force and what they think are the sources of wage inequality!Women lose interest in SAHD because of this mindset. It's also the fact too men SAHD act like it's a glorified vacation. If a man's working while his wife stays home, the expectation is that the house is spotless, the kids are entertained, and the fridge is never empty. For whatever reason, when the man stays home, it's like "oh, but you still take on most of the chores because vagina... right...?" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/11/21 03:16 PM |
| 31 | Sugarbabies and the trope of "modern dating through female empowerment!"If a woman expects a guy to be financially stable, they can just accuse her of being a gold digger. Nowadays any man with a $45K salary, PS5, $5000 $401K and Toyota Camry is out there acting like there's all these feral gold diggers waiting to pounce at any moment and steal them for "all they're worth." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/11/21 10:36 PM |
| 155 | Do NOT procreate with bum ass men!Always ask yourself: "How would he take care of and raise our children if I died?" It's a morbid question, but it's important to consider how a man would raise your children if something happened to you. The dude who doesn't scrub his toilet and who can't cook probably isn't going to magically become Super Dad when his wife dies. At the end of the day, you need to seriously consider whether the man you're with could handle being a single dad overnight. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/11/21 10:21 PM |
| 42 | REMINDER: Do not clean up for dirty scrotes and make them feel cozy in their filth *busy none* they can find *one* hour out of the week to clean their scum.hE wOrKs sO hArD Every time I see a woman say this, I'm like "girl, do you not work hard?" It's always a woman who's clearly overwhelmed like a SAHM with six kids saying "he works so hard...!" Like you don't??? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/11/21 03:36 PM |
| 40 | The "Marriage is just a piece of paper" lie.I like the idea of the Purple Pill sub, but after a few months on there, I learned it's just a waste of my time. None of the men want an actual conversation. They just want to yell about their opinion. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/21 02:36 PM |
| 197 | The HUGE upside to the rampant increase of male porn-sic limp dick ED syndromeIt won't stop them from trying. They'll attempt to use women for sex then make them feel bad for their limp dicks. "Oh, this never happens to me blah blah blah." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/11/21 06:20 PM |
| 214 | “The idea that a woman can live a happy fulfilling life without a man is nonsense.” Did I hear him correctly? Did these words really just come out of his mouth? Ladies, make sure your life is successful, happy, and fulfilled without a man, or risk ending up with one like this.Oh, look, another man who wants a slave, not a partner. He's looking for a submissive woman who says "yes" to everything he wants without having any needs, wants, or expectations of her own. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/11/21 05:31 PM |
| 36 | "Being economically dependent on a man leaves you in a vulnerable position." - This is what the handbook looks like IRL. being tossed out like a rotten piece of meat while he goes out to groom someone your daughter's age.I'll add in another perspective I don't see her. A woman I know was a SAHM for 20 years to four kids. She barely worked for a few years before staying home. Her husband made a pretty average salary, but the two of them made it work. Unfortunately, that came at the expense of their retirement savings. Once the youngest kid was in his late teens, this woman ended up getting a job working in a cafeteria to help contribute to retirement. She clearly didn't like it, but it's what she had to do to hel… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/11/21 03:23 PM |
| 34 | How many red flags can you pack into 1 profile? LET'S COUNT!Five bucks says he's on another subreddit complaining about how no women will match with him despite "all the effort" he puts into online dating. Sir, you have no photos and no information about yourself on your profile. What woman would want to connect with you under those circumstances? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/11/21 02:35 PM |
| 43 | Never Help Men With Their Woman-Seeking MotivesUgh. Yes. It's not cute. I was thinking about something similar earlier because in a local subreddit today, a man was asking what to do next weekend with his girlfriend of seven years for their anniversary. A lot of the replies were "Well, it kind of depends what she likes...?" It would be one thing if the question were "My girlfriend loves hiking, we do ABC hikes regularly, do you have recommendations for different spots?" His question was literally just "So... what should we do??" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/11/21 04:22 AM |
| 48 | Why LVM don’t care about creating single momsThe only HVM single dad I know has made the decision to stay single until his kids are 18+. It's been five years, and he's still at it. Most single dads are leeches. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/11/21 04:17 AM |
| 197 | One of the biggest lies sold to women is the importance of upholding the relationship at any costWhen I was in my early 20's, I ended an otherwise good relationship because it just didn't feel like we wanted the same thing out of life. Rather, he knew what he wanted, and I just didn't know if I wanted the same things so I risked losing him in order to figure my life out. It was seriously one of the best decisions I ever made. Leaving him gave me courage to start being more assertive and selfish in other areas of my life. Reddit would have probably told me to CoMpRoMiSe but no. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/11/21 11:20 PM |
| 114 | Men and their innate habit of dating youngYup. My last two relationships (pre-FDS) were with men ten years older than me. I was in my late 20's/early 30's, and they were in their late 30's/early 40's. I should have turned them both down, but well, I was paying too much attention to my heart and not my head. bEcAuSe LoVe. Even though we didn't have a huge gap in maturity and finances (although that should have been a big red flag given the age difference...), the amount of baggage these men brought to our relationship was staggering. The… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/11/21 01:27 AM |
| 502 | Wife discovers that her 30 yo husband was planning to leave her after finally graduating from college "because he wouldn't need her anymore". Another reason to not settle for men who are struggling.You’re divorced or you’re not. To put it more bluntly, he's married. The man isn't just "going through a divorce," he's also married to someone else. Adding to this, I wouldn't date a divorced man until at least 12 months after the divorce has been finalized. People need time to sort their feelings, heal, and figure out how to live as a single person before coupling up again. When a man jumps from one relationship to another, it's bad news for all. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/11/21 02:40 PM |
| 498 | “Scrote’s response to: “What sacrifice have you made to save for a down payment?”I've been told to marry men who love you more than you love them. Shit like this is why. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/11/21 01:46 AM |
| 173 | Woman translates the real meanings behind men’s dating demands. Just a reminder that men defined ‘femininity’ as submission, passivity, performance & endless forgiveness because it serves abusive men & makes us easier to exploit.Oh, but don't forget, she has to do all these things and also contribute 50/50 to the family's finances! You want me to be your submissive little fuck pet who cleans up after you without complaint and says yes to everything you say while also working 9-5 to pay half our rent? I'll have to go with "no" on that one. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/11/21 03:27 PM |
| 119 | I updated my LinkedIn with a big promotion. The same week, I started getting LI ads for local divorce lawyers. Even the adbots know financial freedom *for* women means freedom *from* men.Congratulations on your promotion! I will never forget how my NVM ex-boyfriend was jealous of my last job offer. His first words weren't "Holy shit congratulations!" It was "... that's more money than I make..." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 07:09 PM |
| 27 | FDS Thoughts on Ring Shopping?I'm personally against heirloom rings outside of family bloodlines. I'd be okay with your grandmother giving you her engagement ring, but you can open a whole can of messy worms when getting a ring from your boyfriend's family. For example, in the event that you get divorced or he dies, the ring still belongs to you, but it doesn't have the same family significance. Then it gets passed down to your kids as a "This was my engagement ring to my first husband" instead of staying with the family it … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 03:59 PM |
| 20 | How do I [27F] forgive myself for my past dating mistakes?Beating yourself up doesn't do yourself any good. What value does it bring to you to get mad at yourself over things that have already happened? All you can do is learn from your mistakes and do better in the future. Be accountable to be a better version of yourself moving forward. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 04:21 AM |
| 90 | FDS Thoughts on Ring Shopping?This is one of those things that I think genuinely varies from woman-to-woman. In a serious relationship, the man should know the woman's taste, and the woman should communicate her expectations for a ring. Engagement rings are so extremely personal. I don't think there's a rule about not shopping together or showing pictures ahead of time either. Look, if I'm expected to wear the ring for the rest of my life, I better f'ing like it. My boyfriend knows I'm super picky (like super, super picky), … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 04:16 AM |
| 120 | Men that can't handle marriageMen who don't want to get married are secretly holding out for something better to come along. They want to be able to leave when something better comes along (it probably won't). If a woman doesn't want to get married, I absolutely support her in that decision if she understands, acknowledges, and accepts the risks. Any woman who genuinely wants marriage, though, needs to walk on the "it's just a piece of paper!!!!?!" types. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 04:06 AM |
| 233 | If it’s not a fuck yes, it’s a no!Boys don't like other boys touching their things. They don't want others playing with their special toys. If he was truly interested in you, he'd take you off the market, and he'd tell everyone you were his girlfriend. End of story. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 03:51 AM |
| 799 | Scrotes will be scrotes. NEVER move in with a boyfriend.This is a cautionary tale about why women need to focus on ensuring they have good careers, ample savings, and strong support networks. The only person you can truly rely on is yourself. The OP works a low paying job and seems to have limited resources (eg. her older car). Yeah, the situation would suck regardless, but this situation would suck a lot less if she had the ability to just say fuck it, rent an apartment, and hire movers to get her belongings out ASAP. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/11/21 04:00 PM |
| 29 | In most cases, it is a bad, bad idea to buy a house, especially your childhood home, with a bf, not a husband 🚩10 years together, no ring 🚩he makes > $100k, she $60k, but planning to split mortgage 50/50 🚩house is barely affordable even with their combined income. Ways this can go south in 3…2…1Ugh. Terrible idea. Don't do it! I've had four friends buy houses with their boyfriends. It's gone something like this: Broke up within the first year living together, dating for three total. Still not married after five plus years together and now expecting a baby, but owning a house together caused a lot of stress last year when they weren't in a good place and considering breaking up. Engaged after four years. Forever girlfriend of ten years getting sick of being said forever girlfriend. The … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/11/21 02:13 PM |
| 138 | Reminder: he is also responsible for birth control. Vasectomies are cheap, easy and reversible.I absolutely agree that men are also responsible for birth control, but please be careful with telling people vasectomies are reversible. All vasectomies are reversible but that doesn't guarantee success in conceiving a child from the reversal. It can create unnecessary complications in the already difficult process of trying to conceive. Even freezing sperm beforehand just in case adds additional challenges and costs to the process. If a man wants a child one day, it's probably not the best met… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/11/21 09:15 PM |
| 313 | Funniest/smallest/strangest Seinfeld-like red flag 🚩 you personally had with an ex?An Irish friend sent me silly video of his cats, and my friend and his girlfriend were talking to the cats in the video from behind the camera. You know, as one does when filming a silly pet video. I showed it to a man I was dating and remarked "Oh, this is from my Irish friends that live in Dublin" to explain why they had an accent. His reply was some sarcastic version of "Hah, oh, really!? I thought they were Black!" I replied with "You know there are Black people in Ireland... right?" By then… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/11/21 08:49 PM |
| 66 | When we say some men are delusional, this what they mean. Your wife is not yet born is creepy! Calling women pretty young things is gross and dehumanizing.A HVM friend of mine in his late thirties got stuck behind a group of sorority girls at an amusement park, and he was like "I've realized I'm older now because these early 20-something women now just seem like annoying children to me. I can't imagine in a relationship with someone that age at all." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/21 02:13 PM |
| 7 | When we say some men are delusional, this what they mean. Your wife is not yet born is creepy! Calling women pretty young things is gross and dehumanizing.Years ago, I dated two men who were ten years older than me. When the second relationship finally ended, I refused to consider someone even just five years older than me. The older men had too much baggage and had too many unresolved issues. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/21 02:10 PM |
| 35 | Potential strategy: answering the question "what's the worst that could happen?"I started used "what's the worst that could happen?" in my last relationship, and I highly recommend it. It's such a good way to take a step back and reevaluate situations. I had a bad habit of bending over backwards for my NVM ex despite his lack of reciprocity. One day, I just started asking myself "what's the worst that could happen?" to determine what was actually necessary or not. For example, I'd rush out to make sure the house had groceries for his custody time with his kids. Sure, the ki… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/11/21 10:38 PM |
| 257 | Oh no....turns out I'll miss you because I'm going away for a few weeks.... 😆Ugh. I loathed men on dating apps who acted like locals were their free tour guides/vacation lays. I'd rather eat my own hair, thanks. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/11/21 09:37 PM |
| 82 | This weird type of poor communication that I dealt with after talking to a guy for a few monthsThis is spot on. My NVM played these cards. Another tactic he used was after the "You sound really hysterical right now. Why you gotta ruin a nice evening?" bullshit, he would just shut the conversation down with a "I don't want to talk about this right now" or some other definitive "This conversation is over." We never got to talk about things that were important to me because he played that card last. What I started doing is asking "I recognize and respect you need space, but this issue is imp… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/11/21 02:08 PM |
| 24 | Is it okay to not want to date in your 20's?Yes and no. Let me explain. It depends what your life goals are. I'm all for women doing what they want, but if you want to get married and have kids one day, it's valuable to figure out what you need in a partner and how to thrive in relationships. I've dated a few men in their early thirties who just didn't have the experience or tools to be good partners. They meant well, but it felt like I was much more emotionally mature based on my experience. So, is it okay to not want to date in your 20s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/11/21 12:17 AM |
| 38 | Celebrity forever girlfriends & baby mama culture cont’d…When I broke up with my last boyfriend (who was NVM to the max), it was extremely satisfying to tell him to "get the fuck out of my house." We lived in my house, and I didn't need his financial contributions. He was the one who had to scramble to find a one bedroom apartment to move into. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/21 06:19 PM |
| 545 | Celebrity forever girlfriends & baby mama culture cont’d…Whenever posts about celebrities or the rich pop up on FDS, I like to remind the community that these women play by different rules. They have money, support, and resources far beyond the average woman. If something goes bad, they'll be fine. Most women would not be. Sure, a lot of celebrities and wealthy women are with terrible men, but they can afford to be. Most of us simply can't. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/21 04:02 AM |
| 13 | Men Who are Still Friends With their ExesEven if they have under-age children, most co-parents need extremely firm boundaries in order to move onto successful relationships. The whole "we need to be divorced co-parent besties" attitude is very new and absolutely doesn't work for every family (and often de-prioritizes or belittles the very valid feelings of the new partners). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 02:41 PM |
| 131 | A golden comment from this subI'm in my thirties, and I've seen many divorces (some with kids) because of this exact reason. Want to know the common denominator in all of them? The women were the ones driving the relationship forward. This is why we tell women to be passive but active. You should not be asking men out, begging for engagements, or planning weddings after 6 years of dating. Your partner should be absolutely enthusiastic about next steps together. My divorced peers were with men who just went along for the ride… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 02:30 PM |
| 375 | Even condom companies say it’s a red flag if a man tells you he can’t feel a thing with a condom onIf a man acts like he can't wear a condom, get all teary eyed and tell him how you can't believe he's ready to have a baby with you "so soon." Gush about how thrilled you are to be starting this journey together and how adorable your little ones will be. Excuse yourself to the washroom to "compose yourself." Then remove yourself from the situation as soon as possible and don't look back. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/21 09:23 PM |
| 122 | Your reminder that polyamory is a complete scam for women. This woman is trying to convince herself that she’s okay with hearing her husband have sex with another woman.Even if you're in a relationship with two men, it's a scam. Years ago, I read an article about a polyamorous woman who had a boyfriend and husband. The whole thing just seemed absolutely exhausting. Having a relationship with one man is enough for me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/21 05:42 PM |
| 61 | Dear Men: So you think you want a ‘strong, independent woman’I asked this exact question in another subreddit once, and unsurprisingly, many men wanted women to contribute financially but also want their own careers to be the top priority. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/10/21 08:28 PM |
| 333 | Men's hair turns white faster then women's do. Idk how the world still believes we age fasterWomen don't age faster than men. Men are simply allowed to age in a way that women are not. When a man ages, he's seen as more distinguished and wise. Women are seen as old and past their prime. Spend 15 minutes on Tinder as a straight woman, and you'll see the harsh realities of age hitting men who haven't cared about diet, sunscreen, working out, or water in the past decade. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/10/21 11:12 PM |
| 57 | How do we identify, manage or avoid men who project their fantasies onto women in their lives? When are they dangerous?We all create narratives in our heads about people. All of us do. Showing people who we really are, the good and bad, is the only way to reduce it. In order to avoid men from creating a fantasy of you in their head, you need to know who you are, what you want, and where your boundaries are. These need to be consistently demonstrated over time. At no point should you be deviating from that. Leave no room for interpretation. Women can avoid being a fantasy be being clear about who they are as they… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/10/21 10:30 PM |
| 13 | Men cannot be trusted with an idea like polyamory and its popularity shows how naive and desperate women have becomeSame. Gross. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/10/21 03:33 PM |
| 28 | Men cannot be trusted with an idea like polyamory and its popularity shows how naive and desperate women have becomeIt's likely the same as every other problem we're having: social media. People are being exposed to all sorts of "goal" lifestyles that aren't attainable for the average person, and too many people think "oh, I could do it, too." So the average man now thinks he can get a trouple because he sees a few men on TikTok doing it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/10/21 03:28 PM |
| 331 | Men cannot be trusted with an idea like polyamory and its popularity shows how naive and desperate women have becomeOn dating apps, "ethically non-monogamous" and "polyamorous" are so incredibly common now, it's laughable. Men write those terms in their profile like they're some unique, edgy, mystical creature without realizing the next 10 men have the exact same thing in theirs. I feel even worse for our monogamous bi-sexual and lesbian sisters who get the constant "Oh! Will you be our third!??? It's my boyfriend's birthday, and I want to get him a threesome" messages. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/10/21 11:57 PM |
| 222 | Pornsick scrote can't be asked a normal question without turning it sexual...this was our first conversation 😒 Have I discovered a new vetting question??When online dating, I immediately blocked and deleted anyone who took things sexual. I love sex, but that's not something we should be talking about for many dates. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/10/21 09:08 PM |
| 33 | What would you consider going above and beyond?Ugh. Yes. My NVM ex did the occasional grand gesture, but it did not at all make up for the shit he pulled on the regular. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/10/21 07:34 PM |
| 7 | Relationships and effortI'm very thankfully to be out of that situation. The only true HVM single dad I know has made the decision to stay single until his kids are 18. He wants to prioritize being there for them and always putting them first, so he recognizes it's not fair to drag another person into the mix. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/21 10:51 PM |
| 122 | Relationships and effortOh boy. In my last relationship, I went out of my way to not only be the perfect girlfriend to my ex but also the perfect stepmom to my ex's kids. I basically devoured every resource I could find on stepfamily relationships, being a stepmom, etc. I was the picture perfect stepmom. One of my very, very few asks of my ex was to read a book about stepmoms that I found incredibly insightful. It helped articulate feelings I had, and I hoped it would show him how things were from my perspective. Even … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/21 03:17 AM |
| 47 | "Dating for women is like shopping, dating for men is like a job interview"Too many men act like dating is easy breezy for women. It's so misguided. Sure, some women do have an easier time getting attention on dating apps, but that basically means nothing when you're looking for a meaningful relationship. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/10/21 02:15 AM |
| 43 | "We decided" - Was it REALLY a joint decision or did you just go along with what he wanted out of fear of losing him?I've learned that in long term relationships, there's really three different entities that have different needs and wants: him, her, and the relationship itself. Many women make the shift early on to prioritize either her partner or the relationship above herself. She'll go to great lengths to "make him happy" or "to make it work." This could look like moving closer to the man's office or prioritizing household chores (vacuuming, cooking, washing sheets, etc.) over individual chores (own laundry… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/10/21 09:43 PM |
| 123 | Men don’t always marry the woman they love the most: a n insight from an OLD convohe’s just idealizing her after the fact He's also likely idealizing that time in his life, not necessarily just the woman herself. Of course it's easy to look back at your first big love and think about how magical it was. You probably lived with your parents, had next to no responsibilities, had your laundry done by your mom, and had never paid a bill in your life, Brad. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/10/21 09:27 PM |
| 148 | Just a reminder that negging is not always going to be so forthcoming, these scrotes get intricate and creative because they are cowardly and hoping not to completely miss out. I mentioned in my bio that I’m a writer as well as my intelligence being clearly communicated block and delete guys.His life must be exceptionally boring if there's "nothing more fun" than reading the thoughts of people he finds physically attractive. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/10/21 02:24 PM |
| 8 | A HVM will WANT to plan a wedding with you a LVM will check outI will put exactly the same amount of effort into wedding planning that my future husband does or less. I don't want a big event so if he has a huge family that wants a gigantic party, that's on him to plan. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/10/21 06:57 PM |
| 90 | A joint Facebook account won’t stop him from cheatingThe standard "if he wanted to, he would" advice that applies to a man doing good things (i.e. unloading the dishwasher) also applies to a man doing bad things (i.e. flirting with women on Snapchat). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/10/21 06:28 PM |
| 38 | Objective vs Subjective: Make sure he meets your needs, not just your standards.This is so incredibly important. We all need to be aware of subjective needs when looking for partners. An easy way to start this mindset shift is to start asking: Why is this standard important to me? What value does this standard add to my life? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/10/21 06:25 PM |
| 38 | Instead of looking for a partner, look for the father of your childrenIt's morbid but important! There's women having men with kids who can't boil pasta. Like... how is he going to raise Little Timmy as a single dad if something happens to you? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/10/21 07:34 PM |
| 121 | Instead of looking for a partner, look for the father of your childrenNot to be pessimistic but you also have to ask yourself what would happen if you end up divorced and co-parenting. I'll take it one step further and add "you also have to ask yourself what would happen if you end up dead." If you meet an untimely death, your partner is going to be the one raising your kids as a widow. Sure, it's not pleasant to think about, but can you trust this man can raise a kid(s) on his own without any of your help? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/10/21 06:36 PM |
| 98 | This is why you vet and have to block scrotes. This man is 93 look at him getting put together and taking his wife out for a date. 93 years old... and today's young LVMs want to meetup for a walk lastHe looks younger than half the 30-something men I've seen on dating apps. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/10/21 08:50 PM |
| 8 | What communication between dates an FDS lady would expect ?In the early days, I'm okay with less communication. What matters to me is clear indication that he's interested and purpose. For example, I don't need to text all day, but the man needs to show initiative and interest by planning dates. A "I had a great time with you tonight" text after a date followed by a "Are you free for dinner on Tuesday or Thursday?" a day or two later is fine. By my standards, it sounds like the guy you're seeing is doing well. If he doesn't start to increase communicati… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/21 07:13 PM |
| 28 | Stronger boundaries for every girl and womanWhen you're thinking about boundaries, ask yourself "What's the worst that will happen if I don't do X?" Here's how I started doing that. I lived with a NVM father of two. On weekends he had the kids, I would stress myself out so much making sure the fridge was stocked with their favorite foods, the house was tidy, etc. All of which was thankless and unappreciated. One day, I had enough. If my ex wasn't running around preparing for his kids and didn't care, why should I? But... I felt guilty not… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/21 02:05 PM |
| 66 | Scrotes flaunting being brokeUgh. Yes. Too many men forget they're writing profiles to attract women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/21 05:07 AM |
| 37 | Found one in the wild!I'd be as happy to watch sports with him as he'd be to watch the Bachelorette with me. Why is it never "If you can hang and watch mutually agreed upon TV content" with these men? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/21 05:01 AM |
| 41 | Ladies, how much should an engagement ring cost?I think the most important things is "what do you want". This is the answer right here. I've seen LVM swing both ways in the opposite direction: "I wanted a [big/small] ring like X and got a [small/big] ring like Y." Buying an engagement ring is an opportunity for a man to show he understands you, listens to you, and values you. It's a gift, and your preferences should be considered. I understand certain budgetary concerns, but any man who drags his feet too much, can afford it but won't, or lie… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/10/21 02:42 PM |
| 54 | More on Why Block and Delete WorksIt took way too long for me to block my NVM ex. When we broke up, there were logistical reasons we had to stay in contact for a month or two. Then after, I felt bad about blocking him, and I thought it would be fine. Well, I thought wrong. Every few weeks, I'd get a text from him asking something pretty innocent (i.e. "I'm selling this X you liked, do you want to buy it?"). When he didn't get the reply he wanted (i.e. "Thanks for thinking of me but I'll pass. It would be too weird having it in m… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/10/21 02:33 PM |
| 6 | Men agree that if he wanted to, he would.Many men, including LVM, will agree with FDS principles. A LVM will agree that a man will propose to a woman if he's truly interested in her. He knows that's the truth. That won't stop him from staying with a placeholder girlfriend or accepting a proposal from a woman he's lukewarm about, though. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/10/21 06:13 PM |
| 19 | Tell me you have internalized misogyny without telling me you have internalized misogyny.My last relationship was with a NVM. At the time, my job was negotiating complex contracts on behalf of a Fortune 500 company. All I did was communicate. Somehow I seemed to excel at in the workplace. Yet, for whatever reason, it just didn't seem to work. You know why? Because he wasn't listening, and he didn't care. My business contacts were more keen to listen to my needs and accommodate me than my partner was. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 08:11 PM |
| 78 | Conservative men can be so misogynistic that I can no longer tell the difference between reality and satire.This was one of my biggest pet peeves in online dating. I swiped left on any sort of "looking for" list. Tell me who you are on your profile, and use my profile to determine if I fit your preferences. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 07:50 PM |
| 42 | Protect your bag, ladies. The scrotery knows no bounds.This whole situation is just a mess (and seems rather unbelievable). Why am I having a hard time believing that a grown, married man is unexpectedly discovering that him and his sister each have $10M trust funds? He must have some idea of his family's wealth. Also, do you really think his parents wouldn't have pressured him to get a prenup given the allegedly secret amount of money? This is why we all need clear understandings of finances and prenups before marriage. I'm not against the money be… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 05:26 PM |
| 120 | If someone tells you that men are picky show them this!Online dating is full of this garbage, too. After the standard initial back-and-forth, a man asked me if I wanted meet him at a park during the day and give him head in his car. This might shock you, but I passed him up on that incredible offer. /s | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 02:48 PM |
| 45 | As requested: Discussion about professions to avoid dating summarized into relevant conclusionsThe real tl;dr is men from any profession can be low value. (Source: I've dated enough men to know this.) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 02:46 PM |
| 67 | A bit of weaponized incompeDanceWatch out for this in the office, too. Weaponized incompetence isn't limited to the home! Also, at both home and work, do not volunteer for things willy nilly or unnecessary help. Early in my career, I learned the hard way that it's better to just focus on your own tasks and let your teammates drown if it could risk your work in any way. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 02:42 PM |
| 22 | So, how’s it going these days now that you have to make women like you to get their interest? Men:Yup... Men are so dense. One argument I see constantly is "There are so many more single men than women!!!!" OK. How exactly does that work? If we're focusing on heterosexual relationships, there's one many for every one woman. Is there secretly an army of bisexual women accounting for a huge imbalance? I've been told "One hot Chad is dating multiple women!" but I don't really buy that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 02:26 PM |
| 212 | We don't compete against other women & we don't chase menI have no interest in being with a man who's trying to decide between two (or more) women. I want the man who's "heck yes, her" about me, not the one who's like "huh, which one do I want...?" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/21 02:02 PM |
| 250 | If you are confused about his intentions, read this. These are the words of men, describing how they behave when they love and respect their woman. Don't accept any excuses, ever!"He's thinking for two, not one" is extremely important. At a certain point in a couple's journey, the relationship becomes an entity of its own. I've found this is usually around the 6-12 month mark. You can do what's best for you, what's best for your partner, or what's best for the relationship (that third entity). An easy example of this is where to get an apartment. Do you get a place closer to the woman's office, closer to the man's office, or do you find the best solution for the relation… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/10/21 06:17 PM |
| 123 | This dude is SHOCKED his wife is mad about him wanting to miss a wedding for a football game that he isn’t even going to!! Thankfully he gets roasted in the comments.My favorite comment from that thread was along the lines of "Tom Brady doesn't give a shit whether you watch the game or not." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/21 04:23 PM |
| 19 | LVM: I build. I’m a pRotEctOr 🤣 FDS….I refuse to build IKEA furniture with men anymore. It's always a nightmare because they don't follow the instructions then have to do everything over. One ex actually got mad at me for pointing out that it didn't look right when he was rushing to put together something he should have done weeks before! The last time I had to build IKEA furniture, I invited two girlfriends over for pizza and beer. We had a great afternoon. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/21 04:20 PM |
| 91 | When are women ready to admit LTR don't mean shit? It's not soft marriage.Isn't it curious how ever RP'er acts like their theories are uncovered deep truths about life that are going to change the world? Eyeroll. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/21 03:03 AM |
| 63 | I'm sppeechlessYup. Didn't even have to start reading the post to know that this was going to be an age gap relationship based on the title. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/21 10:15 PM |
| 192 | Scrote: I have $7.5 M in assets, my wife has cancer, we have three little kids, if I quit my job I might resent the fact that I never got to my arbitrary $10 M target, I'm thinking of leaving her because the stress is too much for meLet's do some math! Frugal Frank says he's been "focused, ambitious, and driven" for 20 years. We'll say he started working at 16, and he's now 36. Without even counting inflation, he could quit his job today and still have $117,000 per year if he lived to be 100. Also, if he's smart with his investments, he could easily make it to $10M in the next couple years without working. He's just to much of a workhorse to see it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/21 04:00 PM |
| 113 | Scrote: I have $7.5 M in assets, my wife has cancer, we have three little kids, if I quit my job I might resent the fact that I never got to my arbitrary $10 M target, I'm thinking of leaving her because the stress is too much for meAlso, by the time he's finished his 2-5 years, one kid will at least be 17. The others are likely not far behind. What exactly does that child need from a SAHD? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/21 03:51 PM |
| 187 | Scrote: I have $7.5 M in assets, my wife has cancer, we have three little kids, if I quit my job I might resent the fact that I never got to my arbitrary $10 M target, I'm thinking of leaving her because the stress is too much for meExactly. But of course, they also feel they need the pride, reputation, and cooking that comes along with having a SAHM and kids. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/21 03:50 PM |
| 40 | Thoughts on Building With A ManAlso, don't forget about how little LVM view the value their partners bring to a relationship! How many LVM complain about "divorce rape"? They cry about a woman "taking them to the cleaners" by getting assets in a divorce, alimony, and child support. It's because they don't see the value in having someone manage the household or raising their children. They see it as "my money," not "our money." They don't value their partner's contributions. So, what happens when you build a LVM man up? You su… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/21 04:54 AM |
| 335 | How high expectations are saving South Korean women from unhappinessIt's wild to me that men don't understand how unreasonable their asks are which are why our standards are high. We know the risks and responsibilities we are accepting when we say "I Do," and we set our expectations accordingly. Why would women willingly take on the lion's share of household management and childcare in addition to having a full-time job? No thank you. It's better to be single. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/21 10:05 PM |
| 45 | An NYU professor says fewer men going to college will lead to a 'mating crisis' with the US producing too many 'broke and alone' menExactly. What do you think affluent, educated women are going to do? Freeze their eggs. Buy from sperm banks. Hire nannies. It's easier than ever for a woman to have a baby on her own without a partner and to pay for people to help offset workloads (that a man might not even help with if he was there). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/21 09:36 PM |
| 24 | 20 million and still no bed frameI've been in enough apartment fires to know that's a terrible idea. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/21 01:23 PM |
| 418 | A case study on why we don’t ask men on dates! Found on a thread about a woman asking for a man’s number.Yup. Take the lead on asking him out, and you're going to be taking the lead on everything in the relationship. He's not looking at you like a prize. He's looking at you like an option, and more specifically, an option that's preferable to having no options. A woman I know is in this relationship. She asked her now husband out in the most public, cringe-worthy way, and a few years later, she ended up being the one to ask him to marry her, also in a public, cringe-worthy way. It's clear she's alw… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/21 01:17 PM |
| 34 | 🙄🙄 let’s idolize a couple that’s clearly miserable!!!Not to mention polyamorous relationships aren't legally recognized by the law, resulting in someone being left out. I wouldn't want to be a in a relationship where two people are recognized as together by the law, and I was the odd (wo)man out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/21 12:59 PM |
| 23 | 🙄🙄 let’s idolize a couple that’s clearly miserable!!!Yup. Too many people seem to forget they can't play by the rules of the rich and famous. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/21 12:57 PM |
| 144 | Why is men cheating so socially accepted among most people?Because they're lazy cowards. People who cheat are unhappy. They're unhappy with themselves. They're unhappy with their relationships. They're unhappy in their careers. They're unhappy with their bodies. It could be anything. They feel like something in their life is missing. So, instead of doing the hard work to figure out what's missing, determine possible solutions, and change their lives for the better, they pick the easiest way to get an ego boost and a fun distraction. They're looking to g… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/21 04:20 AM |
| 44 | Golddigging husband wants hardworking wife to buy him a new PC (so he can undoubtedly waste time playing video games). All the comments were praising him but god forbid if a woman does the same. Men just love to project.But remember, a woman asking for more than a $50 engagement ring is a golddigging whore! /s Ugh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/09/21 03:30 AM |
| 141 | Three children and still a forever girlfriend. I love Lily Rabe, she deserves so much better.Celebrities (and other wealthy women) can play by different rules. Whatever happens to Lily Rabe's relationship, she will be fine. She has the money, career, and resources to take care of herself and her kids. The most dangerous part of this narrative is that other women look at this and think it's normal. Many women still need the legal protections afforded by marriage. They simply cannot afford to end up in the forever girlfriend role in the event of a breakup. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/21 03:33 PM |
| 212 | Men will act like they’re philanthropists when they’re not rude to ugly girlsThink about how many "nice guys" expect to be fawned over because they treat others with basic human decency. In their minds, there always has to be a reward for anything, even if it's just simple kindness. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/21 02:47 PM |
| 700 | Masturbation requires porn apparentlyIt's so wild to me how intertwined masturbation has become with porn. Masturbation is normal and is in no way being unfaithful. No arguments there. There's nothing normal or natural about having unlimited access to millions of hardcore porn scenes in the palm of your hand, though. Men masturbated for thousands of years without porn... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/09/21 05:20 PM |
| 74 | If your relationship is dependant on you constantly giving your man the benefit of the doubt... let him go sisTo add to this, make sure you're taking the time to properly step back and assess these situations as they come. Sometimes it can be hard to see the patterns when you're constantly dealing with whatever mess the day brings. In my last relationship, my ex was constantly forgetful, bad at communicating, uncaring, selfish, etc., but I was always caught up in the drama du jour that I couldn't see the forest for the trees. I was always getting upset over this and that, but I never took the time to st… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/21 11:04 PM |
| 79 | Yes. Planning an interesting date or activity together can be a turn on. You don't have to be a genius to figure that out 😒. But the two replies on the bottom are just gold 😆.Given how often men throw out the "I'm not good at _____________" excuse, it's a surprise any of them have finished school or managed to have jobs... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/21 10:46 PM |
| 14 | How do you avoid turning into a LVW when you’re at a point where you want to start a family?She's putting a lot of stock into someone she hasn't met yet, who may or may not come into her life at a certain time, who may not have the aunts/uncles/family she wants him to, etc. We need to focus on what we can control and plan a life around certainties. Yes, it's great to look for a HV man if marriage is a priority, but there's a lot of what ifs built on what ifs in this scenario. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/21 06:30 PM |
| 25 | How do you avoid turning into a LVW when you’re at a point where you want to start a family?No. I'm suggesting you plan for the things you can control. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/21 05:55 PM |
| 12 | How do you avoid turning into a LVW when you’re at a point where you want to start a family?What if something happens to both of you? What if something happens to him, and you're a single mom? There's a billion what ifs. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/21 05:47 PM |
| 19 | How do you avoid turning into a LVW when you’re at a point where you want to start a family?There's no guarantee that your future husband has siblings or parents. He could be an only child, or his family could have died in a tragic accident. You're putting a lot of stock into someone who doesn't exist. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/21 04:55 PM |
| 44 | Guys know that the problem is not purely their looksYup. It's way easier to say "Females don't want me because I'm not a 6'2 Chad boohoo" than it is to do any sort of introspection or hard work. Whenever you point anything out to counter that statement, there's an endless list of excuses. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/21 03:37 PM |
| 58 | Just a little reminderI had two similar Yikes moments in my last relationship. Like you, they weren't the last things he did, but they certainly highlighted how little he cared about me as a person. We were looking for jobs at the same time. First, I found out he was interviewing in other cities, and he never even bothered talking to me about it at all. I had been prioritizing finding a local role because this is where our life was, and it was a slap in the face to learn he didn't feel the same way. Next, when I did … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/21 02:10 AM |
| 53 | When to take a break from datingDon't immediately jump into dating when you move to a new place. Especially with online dating, it can be tempting to meet new men online and have them show you around. It is not worth the effort. Focus on establishing yourself: setting up your new home, building a new routine, finding a new gym, getting a library card, making friends, etc. Once you're a bit more established, you'll be in a better place to start dating. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/09/21 06:04 PM |
| 8 | The faster you learn this, the faster you’ll level up 👑👸Same, girl. Glad you got out, too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/09/21 01:32 PM |
| 25 | Example #141203 of why you should PROTECT YOUR WOMB! Even the guys who seem nice can be full on scrotey sperm donors. Does he have kids? Does he keep in contact with them? Does he abandon his children and then throw pity parties about it?I was in a relationship with a single dad, and while he wasn't as bad as this dud, he wasn't great either. He had the same victim mentality. "I'm not perfect," "I wish I could be a better father," "I am here for you always," blah blah blah blah blah. It's all lip service. I'd straight up as my ex "So, why don't you do A, B, C?" or "So, why didn't you do X, Y, Z?" Nothing but excuses. Eventually, I realized that he's not the great dad he made him out to be, and he certainly wasn't the victim in a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/09/21 04:41 PM |
| 8 | Thoughts on family therapy between an emotionally unavailable, LV father and adult daughtersMy mom was no contact with her father, and my partner is no contact with his father. Neither of them feel like they missed out on anything given how toxic their fathers were/are. Your life will be less stressful if you cut him out entirely. Family is not the be all, end all we tout it to be. It's the people who care for you, support you, and show up for you. Just because someone is related to you doesn't mean you have to have a relationship with them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/09/21 02:32 PM |
| 124 | A BIG indicator of abuseOh, hey. It's my ex. He wasn't unemployed, unable to make friends, destroying stuff, etc., but he did make a lot of unilateral decisions that negatively impacted my life. He wanted to do whatever was easiest for him, and he simply just didn't care (or think) about me. If it would be inconvenient for him (but positive for me), that was a pass. No amount of cOmMuNiCaTiNg did anything. In a relationship, individuals ultimately should start shifting from a "what's best for me" to a "what's best for … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/09/21 01:27 PM |
| 37 | What's with the older men who are still raising adult babies?Men have a harder time making friends than women. My guess is most of these men see their sons as a built-in social life. They don't have to be alone, and they have someone to bro around with. They're not thinking about how they're creating adults who can't function or be responsible. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/09/21 01:16 PM |
| 86 | SeXual SeLecTiOn is A hAte CriMe aGainSt mEnThe problem is these men think they're the "better men." Their thought is "women should stop complaining about being in shitty relationships and choose better men like me." Then they get upset because they have a rude awakening when they browse FDS and learn they're just like other men. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/21 04:21 AM |
| 57 | What is everyone's advice on offering advice to people?Most people don't really want help or solutions, they just want to vent. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/08/21 10:22 PM |
| 36 | Honestly...if she’s the “breadwinner”, then why is she the one getting the side hustle? It just kills me to see women fool themselves! And for what?! Struggle love?I am so sick of "Hey! It's been so long. How are you? ... So, I just wanted to tell you about this mascara I've been using." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/08/21 03:36 PM |
| 45 | Honestly...if she’s the “breadwinner”, then why is she the one getting the side hustle? It just kills me to see women fool themselves! And for what?! Struggle love?PSA: if you have a lot of bad months on a commission only job, you’re crap at it. Get something that pays actual money. Yup. He's either bad at his job, bad with finances, or bad with both. Most people who make enough annually through commission learn to manage their finances accordingly. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/08/21 03:36 PM |
| 9 | 35 year old scrote gets offended that 16 y/o kid he groomed insults his music tasteWhen I read "16" and "35," I thought this was going to be about a father and daughter... Ugh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/08/21 03:20 PM |
| 34 | The controversy on engagement rings shows how far liberal feminism has goneI don't even know how this became a controversy. Why do people feel entitled to judge me based on my expectations for an engagement ring? It's none of their business (and most people who do the "he spent what!?" shit are simply jealous). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/08/21 01:47 AM |
| 9 | What's with the Insta trend where young women flex their old husbands?It won't be as much of a flex when they're in their 50's taking care of their 70-something aging spouse who can't do nearly as much. No thank you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/08/21 07:28 PM |
| 57 | Stop watching reality TV and reading trashy novelsI half disagree and half agree with this assessment. If reality TV and reading trashy novels are all you do with your spare time, you're not a well-rounded person, and it's a sign to start exploring other hobbies or interests. That said, if reality TV and reading trashy novels are something you do with some of your spare time, what's wrong with that? I work in a highly competitive field, have a Master's degree, work out a minimum of six times per week, study for certification exams, volunteer, h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/08/21 07:24 PM |
| 58 | Twitter finds an FDS post and scrotes are madFive bucks says it's also full of the "See!? Women don't like men with emotions! They hate when we show weakness" garbage. Women want to date men who have emotional intelligence. We recognize everyone has emotions, bad days, good days, and everything in between. What we don't want are men who rely 110% on their partners for all their emotional support. We've all dated men who get depressed, go through major life changes, have big problems, addictions, etc. who refuse to get help or support from … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/08/21 01:52 PM |
| 34 | Future Vetting Strategy: A man's willingness to fly/do any form of travel beyond road trips.It's so sad seeing how many relationships are going through turmoil because of anti-vaxxers and anti-maskers. Remember ladies: It's not cute to be ignorant, and it's not cute to put others at risk. Also, do you really want to fight with a man over vaccinating your kids one day? No, you do not. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/08/21 03:58 AM |
| 67 | Can we make ‘Weaponized Incompetence’ a flair? A dangerous hurricane is on its way and hubby pretends he can’t do something as simple as buy nonperishables from the store for his familyThe goal of being a parent is to raise functioning adults. Too many American parents focus on raising happy kids which results in clowns like this. Your child isn't supposed to be happy 24/7. Life isn't supposed to always be sheltered and breezy. Kids need to be uncomfortable sometimes. Suddenly, you have adults who have never had to do chores or anything mildly difficult running rampant. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/08/21 03:51 AM |
| 28 | That’s why you should always demand proof, don’t just accept their wordsBefore you get married to someone, you need to have a full discussion about finances with proof. Credit scores. 401Ks. W2s. Paystubs. Credit card statements. Loans. Mortgage. Everything. Someone could still lie, but the more you see, the more likely you are to catch something suspicious. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/08/21 03:40 AM |
| 10 | day after day, hour after hour...this type of post has GOT to be the most frequent on reddit.This is one of those situations where it's objectively better for her to be single. There is no benefit to staying with him. Staying is not worth it. She can either: A. Be a stay at home mom with an alcoholic, cheating husband who makes her life hell and treats her like a bangmaid. or B. Leave him to get her independence, a career, alimony, child support, and have every other weekend free when he plays Disneyland Dad. Bonus, she'll lose so much resentment from her life. The choice is pretty clea… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/21 07:13 PM |
| 32 | ‘Guy friends’: the real evil men?There was a good male friend I had for years. I considered us close friends, and we stayed in regular contact even when I moved to a different country. Out of no where one day, he asks "Sage_Planter, I need to know: if you hadn't moved, do you think we would have ended up together?" No. Not at all. And that's basically how our friendship ended. It was such an awkward question and made me so uncomfortable. There's also nothing to gain from it. Even if I said "Yes. It's one of my biggest regrets: … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/21 03:22 PM |
| 171 | Stop internalizing men’s cruelty/inability to treat you wellThis is a well-timed reminder. A friend recently told me that my toxic NVM got married. I doubt they've been together less than a year. Deep down, I know he's extremely unhappy with himself, and this is just another Band-Aid to keep him from truly addressing his trauma and problems. There's no way he's done the extremely hard work needed to be happy with himself or with someone else. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/21 03:29 AM |
| 48 | Never stay in a doomed relationship for too long.The longer you stay with the wrong person is less time you have finding the right one. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/21 04:22 PM |
| 5 | In order to avoid being someone’s “forever girl friend”…have weird criteria for his commitment? This, but also especially if that criteria changes at all (i.e. first it was "I want to finish college" and now that he's finished college it's "I want to buy a house"). The forever girlfriend often gets stuck in a pattern of moving goalposts that sound reasonable independently but are just a sad series of unrealistic obstacles when grouped together. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/21 04:20 PM |
| 59 | Men will say crap like “Marriage is something serious and needs to be done after more time has passed”…I did once, and yeah, I wouldn't recommend it. You're making a smart decision. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/08/21 06:48 PM |
| 138 | Men will say crap like “Marriage is something serious and needs to be done after more time has passed”…If he's already has a baby mama, think very carefully about whether this is a relationship you want to enter. If he already has two baby mamas, just don't. It's not worth it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/08/21 06:38 PM |
| 80 | I've found an easy way to suss out men on OLD almost immediately.My go-to on Bumble was "What is the best book you've read this year?" The answers were extremely insightful. If a man was like "lol i don't read books," it was an automatic unmatch. I'd accept answers that were "I don't read books" if there was a good reason like "I'm a litigation attorney and spend my whole day reading cases. I listen to audiobooks on the weekend, if that counts?" Then from the men who answered with books, you can start to get a good picture based on the books they picked and w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/08/21 05:34 PM |
| 29 | OLD profiles of attractive men be likeSeriously. Like, what kind of woman does he think he's going to attract with a profile like that? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/08/21 07:40 PM |
| 21 | WOC, what modified/additional rules do you have to avoid men with race/culture fetishes?I'm white but a part of a minority religion. There's a dating site for said religion, and I'm always suspicious of men who join and state their religion as "Willing to Convert." Last summer, I had a phone call with a man who was more focused on my religion than anything else. How he always falls for women from my religion. It was unattractive, and I blocked him afterwards. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/08/21 02:00 PM |
| 31 | Infantilization and the body hair debateWhen it comes to body hair, I firmly support women doing what they're comfortable with. I don't really care what men's opinions are on the subject. My former roommate shaved all over her body hair every day because it was her preference. Not my preference, but good on her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/08/21 03:18 AM |
| 91 | The sad reality of dating low-value men, who will make a woman’s home life miserableMy NVM was like this. Either I was a "nag," or I had to just accept whatever needed to get done was my responsibility. When I kicked him out of my house, I felt relief and peace. Life felt easier when he was gone. Were there still dishes in the sick? Sure. But they were my dishes from my meals, and I got to them when I wanted. There was no longer this resentment of feeling when I was constantly cleaning up after someone else. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/08/21 03:12 AM |
| 165 | What changed when you started giving back the same energy you got?I'm a very giving person, and in my last relationship (with a NVM), I realized I only want to be in relationships where I can put in my full effort without having to pull back. It felt like I wasn't being myself when I had to stop doing things I wanted to do because I knew they weren't reciprocated. I learned I don't want to be with someone who puts in 10% but happily accepts 100%. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 08:04 PM |
| 52 | Living large and proud to show the world his mad skills as a home decoratorThe weights are probably more aesthetic than functional. I'm sure he's planning to get in shape "one day." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 07:58 PM |
| 217 | He didn’t want a fat wifeIt's one thing to be concerned about your partner's health and well-being. The problem is that 9/10 times, men seem to approach the conversation in such a toxic, unhealthy manner, and the focus is "I want you to be hot for me," not "I'm concerned for you." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/21 10:20 PM |
| 334 | Breaking news! Poor man had to sit hungry because his wife didn’t make his plate, even though his arms work and he is perfectly capable of standing :( so sad. Thoughts and prayers. /sDid he want her to cut up and/or chew his food for him, too? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/21 06:19 PM |
| 188 | "iTs mY BiOloGy" is the most last-resort, half-baked excuse there is. When a man says this, he KNOWS he is in the wrong, but is just trying all his options hoping you will buy into one.Not to mention the fact that "iTs mY BiOloGy" seems to only be acceptable for a man to use. A woman wanting a strong provider to keep her safe and to raise a family with? Nah, she's just a sHaLlOw gOlDdiGgEr. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/21 04:23 AM |
| 8 | IDENTIFY THE RED FLAGSBut he has multiple income sources! /s | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/21 06:08 PM |
| 9 | IDENTIFY THE RED FLAGSI'm in my early thirties and just finished my MBA part-time while working in tech full-time. I would swipe left on anyone after 30 who is a full-time student. Great on you for chasing your dreams or improving your life, but I don't want to support you through it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/21 06:07 PM |
| 7 | When you’re thirty but there’s no difference between you and a teenage boy who just discovered his penisYet they wonder why they're single... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/21 06:04 PM |
| 69 | Does seeking marriage decrease your chances of ending up with a man who's not serious about committing to you?Being upfront with yourself about wanting a serious relationship will help you vet easier. You know what you want, and you know it's not the man who "just wants to chill" or "isn't looking for anything serious" or "wants to see where things go." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/21 04:28 AM |
| 9 | He’s dumb af if he thinks we won’t be able to pick him outThat's my biggest (but certainly not only) issue with MGTOW. If it were a community of men truly thriving and you know, going their own way, great. It's sadly just a "we're still obsessed with women but are mad they don't like us." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/21 04:13 AM |
| 130 | For The Lurkers And FDS Members Who Wonder Why Men Are Banned Here....On other female-centric subs, the OP always has to have some "OK, so, before I get into it, I want to preface with #NotAllMen. I know not every man is like this. I want to share my experience with this one specific man. Blah blah blah blah blah..." to protect the men who feel slighted about a woman posting on a female-centric sub about female-centric issues. I am so glad we don't have to do that here. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/21 03:49 AM |
| 8 | Looking for Impactful Volunteer Opportunities to Support and Empower WomenThe BBBS organization has a ton of hosted events, but I found they were either for the really young kids (like 6-10) or the older teens (like 15-18). It was great for helping them plan for their post-school life since there were a lot of college prep or career focused events. Unfortunately, BBBS doesn't cover expenses, and it's all out-of-pocket. In my first match, I did feel like I ended up spending too much so I figured out how to find more financially-friendly activities. My salary also went … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/21 11:02 PM |
| 38 | How did this clown get a doctorate 🤡🤡🤮We should make men who want sex-on-demand be available to for other men to have sex-on-demand with. Like a blowjob pool or something. They can all get each other off and leave us alone. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/21 10:57 PM |
| 16 | Looking for Impactful Volunteer Opportunities to Support and Empower WomenYou can stay with the same child from the match age to high school graduation. For me, that was 2 years with one match and 4 years with my second. I haven't stayed in close contact with either, but we're still in touch. Both of my Littles were from extremely low income families and were the oldest siblings. My second Little, "P," specifically had an incredible amount of pressure and stress put on her as a primary caretaker to her three younger brothers (two of which had special needs). I was abl… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/21 10:47 PM |
| 24 | Looking for Impactful Volunteer Opportunities to Support and Empower WomenBig Brothers, Big Sisters. You get paired with an at-risk girl between 6 and 16 to mentor 1:1 to spend 3-6 hours with 2-4 times per month. It can be anything from going to a movie or going for a walk. I felt like I made a tangible impact on my "Littles" over the years with them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/21 09:55 PM |
| 28 | "Young men without hope, without a path, without anything meaningful to strive for become dangerous to the societies around them."Ugh. I'm so over these made up numbers from the manosphere. So, 80% of men are celibate but also 38% of men have kids? How are the 18% of celibate men with children having them? IVF...? Come on. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/08/21 02:10 PM |
| 554 | What do you all think about this?It's all fun and games until the ex presses charges against the current bf. I wouldn't want my boyfriend to fight my ex. It's just not a good situation for anyone. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/21 07:43 PM |
| 220 | Celebrity forever girlfriends & baby mama cultureWhile I don't necessarily agree with their approaches, celebrities with money can play by different rules. Zayn is a LVM, but at the end of the day, Gigi is going to be fine regardless of what happens with him. She has her own wealth, a well-off family, and no end of support. Not to mention the resources to secure legal representation to ensure Zayn contributes if they break up. It's far more dangerous that women without such luxuries look at celebrities like Gigi and think that sort of thing is… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/21 07:17 PM |
| 3 | Remember that even when you are in a relationship it's important to keep your financial autonomyMy mom always told me that every woman needs to have the skills and the finances to take the kids and run in a worst case scenario. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/21 03:11 PM |
| 155 | This card at the store made me think of y’all…Don't forget the ring pop and Mountain Dew to seal the deal! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/21 11:57 PM |
| 189 | “FdS IS JuST As BaD As InCeLs” when was the last time an FDS’er, or any woman, went and killed innocent people because they couldn’t get a man?Exactly. I saw an article saying this man considered himself "too fat and too ugly." Women would be told to get a Peloton, go on a diet, and get plastic surgery. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/21 01:06 PM |
| 63 | Men On Reddit Do This As Well 😂😂Sure, there are genuine stories about women who take advantage of their exes with alimony, child support, and custody. There are approximately about 291,203,284 times more stories of men who take advantage of their exes every way to Sunday, though. Of course men only focus on the few women who are the exception, not the men who are basically the rule. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/21 12:54 PM |
| 145 | In a Happy Relationship with my Twin Flame and Wanted to Share…You forgot to mention about how rewarding it is to be the caretaker for your Twin Flame, how much pride you get in being the one to manage the entire household for the two of you, and you know it's real love because you're okay with your Twin Flame not contributing financially. (So precious she is!!!) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/21 04:58 AM |
| 75 | Just because you're young/inexperienced doesn't mean you don't know when something is wrong.YES! Also, you don't need "a reason" to leave. Too many women wait for some big grand reason (i.e. he cheated with 24 different people last year) to starting packing their bags because they feel like they can't just leave without "proper justification." If you think something is wrong, you can leave. You don't need a specific reason, and you certainly don't need to give one to the man you're breaking up with. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/21 04:44 AM |
| 229 | Breakfast first date?Turns out he’d reserved a room and suggested we continue the date there. Ugh. Of course. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/21 04:36 AM |
| 112 | 🤡: “But what if she is just trying to use me for a free dinner?”You know the magic answer to all these questions men seem to have? Vetting! If men spent more than fifteen seconds getting to know a woman before asking her out, maybe he'd have a better idea of whether she's trying to use him for a free dinner. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 05:55 PM |
| 290 | Silly questionThere was a post on another subreddit the other day asking "Women, do you ever think about how it feels as a man when women act like you might be a dangerous predator?" No. No, we do not think about your feelings when we're concerned about our safety. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 05:53 PM |
| 148 | Female pick up artists? Pfffft don’t flatter yourself men. Women have been vetting, weeding out men and voicing their concerns since forever! Don’t act brand new.We're not female "pick up artists." If anything, we're female "don't pick it up artists." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/08/21 10:11 PM |
| 18 | Notice how men that claim to want an “independent woman” usually just don’t want to help you with bills. Or they will call a woman needy if she asks for emotional support.When you ask LVM what they means by an "independent woman," they often can only come up with a half-ass reply such as "you know, a woman who can take care of herself." What they're really looking for is a woman who needs very little from them. They think that they'll end up with a woman who wants for nothing in the relationship yet is available for him 24/7 when he wants her. The problem is that a truly independent woman doesn't need him, and he'll quickly learn that dating on her terms doesn't … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/08/21 02:59 PM |
| 16 | Male Bosses SuckUnfortunately, I've had the opposite experience. In my career, the two worst bosses I've had were female. The only other female manager I've had was mediocre at best. I've had a few bad male bosses, too, but the absolutely worst were female. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/08/21 04:40 PM |
| 28 | Found online. It seems sensible enough.Ugh. That's a disaster. I'm sorry that was your experience. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/08/21 03:32 PM |
| 137 | Found online. It seems sensible enough.This is why everyone should do pre-marital counseling. Many religious institutions require all their engaged couples to go through a formal program before tying the knot at their place of worship. More (all) couples should be seeking this external of help prior to marriage. My mom (married to my dad 30+ years) insists that she pays for my pre-marital counseling when I'm ready for it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/08/21 03:12 PM |
| 21 | Came across while scrolling through IG recentlyMy NVM ex had a daughter. After enough of his bullshit, I straight up starting asking him "How would you feel if [daughter]'s boyfriend did this to her? How would you reply if she called you crying saying her boyfriend did [thing he did to me]?" Of course, it was unacceptable for his daughter to be treated that way, but of course, it didn't change his behaviors towards me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/08/21 05:10 PM |
| 105 | This study's results are disturbing. Some goung men believe they have the right to force a woman to have sex If they spent money on her. (source: Lundy Bancroft "Why does he do that?")YES. Came here to say this. Prostitutes charge substantially more than $20. Men expect women off dating sites to be much cheaper than that... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/08/21 03:52 PM |
| 4 | How many red flags do you see? I wAnT tO eNjOy mY eArLy reTiReMenT (but my wife can still work f that)Ah, classic LVM black-and-white thinking. There's a million ways this problem could be solved that aren't either "I quit" or "I stay in my job that makes me unhappy." Unfortunately, OP is either too selfish or lacking creativity to consider other options. I'm sure OP's wife would be more than supportive if he said he wanted to take 6 months off to focus on his family before getting a job making $100,000. Also, not sure about the ages here, but this is also a(nother) good reason to avoid dating o… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/08/21 08:04 PM |
| 59 | “My husband proposed to me with a box of pizza and a 20€ ring. I am marrying him because I love him, not for his money.”Men spend money on what matters to them. There's far too many posts on other subs about men who have no problem buying luxury cars, boats, expensive gaming systems, etc. but cry about how much of a rip off rings are. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/21 11:18 PM |
| 17 | She says she hopes she won’t have to deal with this for years to come… sadly, she’s likely mistakenThis is one of the reasons I remind people that finances need to evolve over time. Yes, I agree the son deserves a percentage of the estate in principal, but it really depends on where the family is later down the road. For example, the son is very financially successful in 30 years, and the couple is quite elderly, it's likely best that the money is left to OP in order to help keep her comfortable in old age. This really isn't a one-size-fits-all. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/21 10:30 PM |
| 17 | Part of vetting is seeing if he can grocery shop and cook without being spoon fed like a toddler.Men cry in the deadbedrooms sub about their wives losing interest in sex. Gee. I wonder why. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/21 10:26 PM |
| 11 | Part of vetting is seeing if he can grocery shop and cook without being spoon fed like a toddler.How does this man possibly hold a job? Does his boss make a colorful visual like this for him every day? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/21 10:25 PM |
| 180 | Don’t be a forever fiancée. This scrote leaves his family high and dry with bad choice after bad choice.This is the second article I've seen this week of a man who refused to get the vaccine passing away, leaving a woman and children behind. Don't date someone who doesn't take their health seriously. Don't date someone who doesn't listen to experts. Don't date someone who doesn't think about how his choices impact others. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/21 05:28 PM |
| 56 | requirement for a childfree HVMWhile I agree men need to be active participants when it comes to birth control, we all still need to be very, very careful, too. Any man can simply claim to get a vasectomy, and any master manipulator psychopath can doctor medical records stating such. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/21 05:18 PM |
| 43 | Can age gap relationships stunt the mental development of the younger person?An age gap can impact the development of a younger person. There's two major ways this happens: The younger person learns to rely too much on the older person as they're entering adult life without having to ever be self-sufficient. This can happen in same age couples, too. Part of growing up is fumbling to learn how to be a grown up, live on your own, furnish your apartment, struggle by yourself, etc. If you have someone to support you (esp. an older, established man with more resources), you'r… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/21 12:30 PM |
| 46 | I know this is a buzzfeed article, but when it crossed my feed today I clicked out of pure disbelief. Since when is not wanting your children's father to potentially die in a space crash "hormonal" and "selfish"?I keep seeing all these LVM go to space, and I'm wondering why they're allowed back in... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/07/21 09:50 PM |
| 100 | Pick me's are dangerous. The comment section is filled with mras. This is the type of stuff that grooms young women into believing that abuse is love and okay.3 Female Fantasies Girls Are Into Without Even Realizing It Men who make their bed every morning Men who are passionate about cooking Men who help without being asked | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/07/21 06:46 PM |
| 108 | Big kids v Man childThe biggest problem is men are told their whole lives "Just be yourself, you're special. The right girl will come your way," and they believe it. So, they think "Huh, I like playing video games 24/7, spending all my money on toys (retirement, what?) and never taking the trash out. The right (IG model-esque) woman will just love me forever when she finds me!" I'm all for men (and women) living the lives they want, but people also need to be realistic about who they are and what they offer to anot… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/21 04:56 PM |
| 33 | I learned quickly that if I have to chase you, I don’t want you anymore.He doesn't like you... enough. Men don't like other men playing with their toys. If he's not making you his girlfriend/wife, deep down, he doesn't really care if other men are seeing you. He doesn't like you enough. If a man does like you, he wants to shout from the rooftops "SHE'S MINE!!!" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/21 04:44 PM |
| 54 | Remember that YOU are the protagonist of your life's story.Also, when you're in a relationship, pay close attention to how your partner treats you in relationship to their own story. Are you a dynamic duo, or does he treat you like his sidekick? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 11:54 PM |
| 12 | I loathe to sound vulgar but #toomanymen see dating apps as free prostitution websites…without any of the stigma of seeking out a prostitute. 🤭 Thank you FDS for helping me delete the dating app I was trying.They want sex to be delivered easier than an Domino's pizza. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 08:33 PM |
| 24 | Team Edward or Team Jacob: How Love Triangles Primed a Generation of Women for LVM (intro)UGH. YES. SO DISGUSTING. Not all characters need happy endings. It would have been absolutely fine if Jacob just... met someone else. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 07:42 PM |
| 27 | Team Edward or Team Jacob: How Love Triangles Primed a Generation of Women for LVM (intro)They have Edward texting like an 80 year old man and doing signatures at the bottom of every message. I read the first Fifty Shades books years ago, and this sums up how the characters talk to each other. The writing was subpar at best, and the fifty-something author had zero grasp of how twenty-somethings communicate with technology. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 07:41 PM |
| 44 | What tell-tale signs or How to vet for a guy that won't cheat after x amount of years?Also figure out WHY he wants to marry you. Is he doing it due to family pressure? A nagging mother who demands grandkids? Is he following a social script that tells him he should be married by this age and have kids by that age? Does he want to marry YOU specifically, or does he just want to MARRY? My NVM ex cheated on his ex-wife (a lovely fact I didn't learn until years into our relationship - and I dumped him the next day). This is exactly what the issue was in his marriage. He got caught up … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/07/21 04:30 PM |
| 77 | If he wanted to he wouldIf you're going to beg for a ring (please don't), at least make it something nice. All that effort for a $90 cubic zirconia ring and a LVM. What a waste. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/07/21 04:34 AM |
| 116 | Canadian Scrote sues woman 6 years after date for "mental anguish". As if there isn't enough good reasons to vet *before* going on a date...(reposted to remove info)Imagine having such a miserable existence, even with access to luxuries, that you'd try to sue someone you went out with half a decade ago! What a tosser. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/07/21 02:05 AM |
| 109 | Doing wife duties for your boyfriendNotice how he says "is doing my laundry - unasked"? Notice how he didn't write "so I told her I'd take care of my own chores because I'm an adult, and the problem was solved"? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/07/21 02:02 AM |
| 180 | WHAT on Earth IS THIS.As if they'd ever use it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/07/21 01:58 AM |
| 23 | Time, awkward tasks & your comfortLVM feel it is a LOSS for them if you're happy and comfortable while they're mildly inconvenienced. This sums up my last relationship. My ex couldn't be bothered to do anything that would cause him a mild inconvenience despite how much he claimed to love me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/21 02:26 PM |
| 63 | What are some tell tale signs a man is into porn?Being in bed and thinking "what the fuck is he doing?" Then realizing that it would probably look great if there was a camera over his left shoulder... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/21 02:20 PM |
| 13 | When I was with my NV Ex husband I used to have to come home and clean after work while pregnant! My now boyfriend does my yard work and cleans while I’m working… we don’t even live together 🥳I've also upgraded from "oh... I didn't realize the empty trash bins needed to be taken in from the curb" to "I made dinner for you while you were on your last work call." It's great! Enjoy! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/21 06:28 PM |
| 275 | Porn teaches men to derive pleasure from causing women pain. This blatant misogyny is in full view and being promoted by lvm and libfems with internalized misogynyYou get home after the event of having your cervix pounded to mincemeat (as another fds commentor accurately put it), wherein he was the only one who came and you wonder what is was all for. This is why casual sex isn't worth it for women. There's a very small chance that the experience will be fulfilling, so why bother? I could easily masturbate at home, not worry about STIs/pregnancy, and be guaranteed to get off. My vibrator doesn't care that I haven't shaved my legs and ate garlic bread for … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/21 06:16 PM |
| 40 | The only advice needed is to break up, delete and block the liarHow can I trust him anymore? You can't. If he can hide an entire child from you for three years without remorse, what else could he easily lie about. Also, being a stepmom is extremely thankless work. What does he mean "you don't have any burden raising the child"? Just you know, living with a child, planning your schedule around a child, eating meals with a child, planning vacations with a child... Dude is delusional. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/21 02:18 AM |
| 43 | What kind of mothers + fathers make LVMs?Kids need to be uncomfortable at times. This challenges them to problem solve, think critically, learn new skills, develop, etc... When raising kids, your goal isn't to raise happy kids - it's to raise well-adjusted adults. The worst adults are the ones who never had to be uncomfortable. Kids who are catered to 24/7, have helicopter parents, only have to play, never have to do anything they don't want to do, etc. This is a big source of LVM. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/21 11:19 PM |
| 113 | What's the most high-confidence, low-skill thing a LV date's tried to do for/to you?Men trynna put my IKEA furniture together but they can't read the instructions 😃 This has happened to me too many times. The worst part is then they get all mad when you point out that "hey, this doesn't look quite right..." as though it's your fault they can't figure their shit out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/21 10:37 PM |
| 212 | This is how you savagely troll an insecure egoHoly shit. Savage. That is not where I expected that video to go at all. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/21 10:35 PM |
| 64 | "CoMmUnIcAtIoN"Ugh. Yes. For any new ladies in the sub, let me explain CoMmUnIcAtIoN and why it's bullshit. If you go on any relationship subreddit, you'll see dozens of posts from frantic women with very reasonable asks/boundaries being told to communicate with their partner and the hundreds of comments saying "you just need to communicate!" Nah, sis. He just doesn't want to be bothered to care. My ex is a NVM. During our relationship, I was working at a Fortune 500 company negotiating multi-million dollar co… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/21 03:24 PM |
| 11 | 🎵If he's married and you know it, just say no,👏👏 if he's married and you know it...Even if he is officially divorced on paper, be extremely aware and cautious about the timing of your relationship. A man, especially if he has children, needs a minimum of a year post-separation/divorce to figure his shit out. This might been seeking therapy, figuring out how to effectively co-parent, or relearning how to manage his own household. You don't want to get involved with any of that until the dust has settled. Not only will he be going through difficult emotions for at least the firs… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/21 03:19 PM |
| 22 | Do not be around a man intimidated by your successI got an incredible job opportunity during my last relationship with a NVM ex. His first comment? "That's more than I make..." Not "Congratulations!" Not "Holy shit. That's amazing!" Not "Wow. I'm so proud of you!" "That's more than I make..." The good news is that our relationship ended by the time I officially accepted the job offer, and I didn't need to care about his jealousy any longer. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/21 05:44 PM |
| 80 | Scrotes are the ones coming at us empty handedMen who complain about women's standards don't understand supply and demand economics. If a woman knows she can be taken to a lovely dinner by a man, why would she go out with your 50/50 dusty ass? Don't want to take a woman out to dinner? Great! Either don't date or settle for women who are happy to pay their own way (although they shouldn't). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/21 12:15 AM |
| 13 | My alcoholic boyfriend told me I won't ever find someone to treat me as good as he doesBeen there, done that. My NVM ex had a drinking problem, and it's extremely telling that I went to Al Anon meetings (support group for loved ones of addicts) more than he ever went to AA or a similar meetings. I shouldn't be the one doing the work for someone else's addiction. You will find someone better. And if not, being single is 29,129 times than the drama and heartache of dating someone like that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/21 12:06 AM |
| 39 | Don’t you just love it when LVM tell on themselves? Do not settle for a man you have to “change.” You’re not a therapist. A HVM will see your worth without expecting you to “fix” him!no baggage We all know this is a lie. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 11:35 PM |
| 87 | Don’t you just love it when LVM tell on themselves? Do not settle for a man you have to “change.” You’re not a therapist. A HVM will see your worth without expecting you to “fix” him!Yup. Too many women cling to the "well, I'd commit to the right woman..." in hopes that she is the right woman. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 11:34 PM |
| 24 | He had audacity to say, it's not cheating if it's not physical. So porn, only fans, sexting aren't cheatingMen like this love to live in the gray zone. They can justify almost anything: "Well, we used a condom so it wasn't really cheating!" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 07:50 PM |
| 8 | What are your experiences dating someone with a different political ideology?My (non-American resident) parents have miraculously made this work, but I wouldn't recommend it. They're both extremely well educated, intelligent, and able to have the maturity to see other's point of view (even though they don't agree with it). Given their opposing views, they made sure I had a well-rounded upbringing and was able to form my own opinions. Politics have gotten a lot more polarizing and more extreme in recent years. I'm conservative in some ways, but I could never date someone … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 12:55 AM |
| 340 | The comments all say "men are dumb, he's being practical" but completely disregard what this means for how he values his hobbies over his girlfriend. SmhAh, yes. The "practical man" who spends $80,000 on a truck and $5,000 on a tent. A truly practical man would think to himself "Hm, my household income is going from $120,000 to $370,000 when I marry OP. Given the fact my quality of life will so drastically increase with her income, this $6,000+ ring is a relatively minor investment in OP's happiness and our future together." But no, he's just like boats and toys. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/21 11:33 PM |
| 105 | Can you imagine being a SPICE GIRL and still having to wait 21 years for him to make up his mind🤦🏻♀️*and two kids Seriously. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/21 12:44 AM |
| 280 | Why the overwhelming majority of divorces are initiated by women.The manosphere loves to bring this statistic up to prove women are evil. Except it doesn't. This statistic does nothing to show the reason behind the divorce. This is literally "80% of women fill out the divorce paperwork and file with the courts first." A man could be abusive. A man could be cheating. A man could have a new partner. Let's also not point out that if a woman's doing most of the emotional labor and household management, she's probably going to be the one initiating the divorce. If… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/21 05:41 PM |
| 345 | I don’t know if you’ve guys have seen this account. But it’s literally just the husband “simping” over his wife even after 24 years of marriage. And I’m down for it, it’s so bloody cute.She's stunning! I wonder how much of her youthful glow and appearance is because she hasn't spent years being stressed out by a LVM. Having a supportive, loving partner probably helps. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/21 04:50 PM |
| 89 | Your preference of not dating single fathers, is valid.I dated a single dad for nearly three years. It was extremely difficult, and I would highly recommend against it. I learned a lot of valuable lessons, but yeah, not eager to do that again. If you are childless, don't date men with children. Trust me. The only HVM single dad I know has made the conscious decision to stay single until his kids are grown. He has 50/50 custody and is a highly involved father. Because he always wants to be able to prioritize his sons, he recognizes it's best to be si… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 04:54 PM |
| 214 | The open demand for ‘feminine, submissive’ women by LVM is cringy as hellThe manosphere is full of men who want unrealistic combinations of traits from women. It's straight delusion. They want a feminine woman who's submissive but also makes enough to contribute 50/50 financially despite being a stay-at-home-mom who manages the entire household and also loves every kind of kinky sex despite being a virgin when they were married. Uh huh... None of them bother to look in the mirror and ask "I want a woman who is X, Y, and Z. Do I have the traits required to attract a w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 11:12 PM |
| 100 | Again with the height thing....Yup. I'm tall (5'11), and I once matched with a man Hinge who was 5'8. That information was on his profile. He ask if I knew how tall he was. I told him that I had no issues with his height. We made plans to go on a date the following week. That should have been the end of the height conversation. Instead, he continued to go on and on about how other women have treated him poorly because of his height. Blah blah blah. At that point, I blocked and unmatched. I would have been happy to go out with… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 10:49 PM |
| 20 | (SPOILERS) "I should treat you like my mom" - Too Hot to Handle is a Hot MessUgh. I had so much hope for Carly turning her life around after the show... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 05:37 PM |
| 56 | (SPOILERS) "I should treat you like my mom" - Too Hot to Handle is a Hot MessAll of the people on the show were totally trashy. The second season was like watching animals in a zoo or the Hunger Games. I was slightly impressed by Larissa, who followed all the rules and left a situation that no longer was benefiting her, and Carly, who will hopefully will continue her leveling up journey. Everyone else was mediocre at best and barely tried at all. The only reason Marvin won was because all the LVM had much more growth to do to even catch up to the maturity level of the pi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 05:21 PM |
| 38 | My adds on Youtube 🧓🏻🤮 Google knows I'm 27 and the company that bought these adds thinks it's fine to normalize dinossaurs on my age rangeMy 70-something dad looks younger than these "50-something" men... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 05:08 PM |
| 75 | I know it's a joke... but some of the women I grew up around weren't too far from this 😂It would be a lot funnier if it weren't for the "wait... this is satire... right? RIGHT?" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 04:28 AM |
| 372 | If Miranda was a man, no one would have viewed him as the villain.The books do a much better job of painting Miranda as the demanding executive but also Nate as the unreasonable, unsupportive boyfriend. It feels like Hollywood had to shoehorn in a happy ending love story angle instead of accepting that Nate just wasn't it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 04:23 AM |
| 14 | What's FDS opinion on Anna Bey?Like others have said, it's a mixed bag. I enjoy watching some of her YouTube content, and I can appreciate her perspective, even if I don't agree with absolutely everything she says. I do learn something from watching her videos. I take everything she says with a grain of salt, though. At the end of the day, she's selling an image to attract customers. She curates a very specific image of herself that may or may not be entirely accurate. If you're looking to level up in a direction like her, it… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 06:31 PM |
| 2 | IF HE WANTED TO HE WOULD HAVE 💍Something similar happened to a friend of mine. She was with her now ex for five years, and she was desperate to get engaged. Every holiday, event, celebration, etc. became "I think he's going to propose!?!?!" First it was the obvious stuff like trips to Mexico, but by the last year of their relationship, she was like "OMG IT'S ST. PATRICK'S DAY AND I'M LIKE 1/10TH IRISH SO ROMANTIC!" or "WE BOTH LOVE TEQUILA MAYBE CINCO DE MAYO IS THE BIG DAY!!!" It was so embarrassing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 08:27 PM |
| 1 | Oh no honey, that’s not something to be proud ofDon't forget the chore chart for those gold stickers! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 08:17 PM |
| 25 | An idea/game to try? Your affordable treat/splurge and financial advice for those of us still starting out or working on leveling up.Use your local library! Most are either free or extremely affordable to join. Libraries are great for anyone who enjoys reading and learning. In addition to the wealth of resources at the physical library locations, my county library (and I'm sure most) has an app where you can check out ebooks, digital magazines, and audiobooks. I save hundreds per year by using the library - I'm currently finishing an audiobook that's listed for $32 on Amazon. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 08:11 PM |
| 12 | Expecting men to pay for a date is apparently toxic now? Like anyone cares about his opinionYou know what would alleviate this huge burden (lol) for men? Actually vetting women they go out with! Men ask every Kim, Karly, and Kate out then whine about how expensive it is to date. Instead of asking 5 women out on drink "dates" per week ($20 each), invest $50-$60 on a nice meal once a week with a woman you actually like and save money! It's so simple. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/07/21 11:27 PM |
| 20 | Expecting men to pay for a date is apparently toxic now? Like anyone cares about his opinionOtherwise it’s not a romantic date, it’s a meal with a friend and automatic friendzone 🤷🏼♀️. I was absolutely shredded in another subreddit stating this once, but it's the truth. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/07/21 11:24 PM |
| 46 | Why ?Look at all the 50/50 women who talk about not having any money left after helping their wealthy boyfriend's with the high living costs that the man is accustomed to. If someone makes you live on a shoestring budget to afford their lifestyle, they do not genuinely love you. Someone who loves you wants to make sure you're not living with a financial burden and are able to comfortably do things like save for retirement. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 03:07 PM |
| 3 | I will NEVER understand how any woman puts up with this behavior 🤢🤮Funny how it's "love" when he's asking her to do something she doesn't want to do (and that's frankly disgusting), but it's unreasonable for her to ask him to do something he doesn't want to do (and that's basic human hygiene). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 02:59 PM |
| 41 | Embarrassing. Don’t be like this! Focus on becoming a happier person not fixing scrotesThe worst part is the end. Not only did she waste her years building up other men, she's now inadvertently doing it without even recognizing it. He's eight years younger and wants a family. They're not a good fit so she's just setting herself up for another "and he ended up happily married with kids." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 05:32 PM |
| 35 | Why exes circle back aka “the phenomena of the circling penises”This is my online dating experience in a nutshell. I've had so many men ghost men then come back 2-3 months later like "hey... how have you been doing?" Am I supposed to be flattered that mere weeks ago I wasn't even worthy of a message but now I am? No. Gross. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 05:18 PM |
| 12 | Glamour UK: The celebrity couples with big age differences (A whole lot of YIKES)I live in an area that's filled with older rich men dating younger women. And this is why I feel weird going out 1:1 with my Dad. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/21 09:49 PM |
| 45 | Future of scrotesOh boy. It would be funny if it weren't so painfully accurate... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/21 02:34 AM |
| 39 | Please share stories of some weirdly specific rules you set after *that* one guyI'm not a big fan of social media in general, and I barely use it except for very specific circumstances. I am wary of any man who goes above and beyond to talk about his lack of social media, though. You know the type. The man who acts like he's a special breed because he doesn't see the point of Instagram or he has never had a Facebook account. No, Brad, your lack of a Twitter account doesn't make you a generational visionary. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/21 03:40 PM |
| 110 | Please share stories of some weirdly specific rules you set after *that* one guyMy ex didn't think holidays were stupid, but he managed to ruin every single one. I don't know what it was. We couldn't have a happy holiday like a normal couple. Towards the end of our relationship, I was dreading every upcoming holiday weeks in advance because I knew he'd pull some stunt that would sour the day. It was frustrating. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/21 03:34 PM |
| 3 | Q4ALL: What is a weekend worth?I'll (F) second this perspective. At the end of the day, there's value in being able to truthfully tell your kids that you did everything you could to spend as much time with them as possible when they were growing up. I'd want to be able to say I tried. By the time they're in college, they'll be able to understand you were forced to make a choice thanks to their unreasonable mother who couldn't compromise. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/21 09:55 PM |
| 4 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadMy male friends have all aged well. I spend time with mostly athletic, well-dressed men who take care of themselves. It's when I go on Facebook and a photo of Tommy from high school that I'm like "wow, OK, aging." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/21 05:37 AM |
| 10 | Pinky Strikes Again - if women came with instructions...The last time I built IKEA furniture with a man, it was my NVM ex. We were setting up his kids' (not ours) bedroom in my (not ours) house that he had recently moved into (as a tenant). He was stressed about not having their beds ready (even though I painted their room days prior), and well, he messed something up then got mad at me when I pointed it out. I'm sorry for worrying about the construction of the bunk beds your kids are sleeping on... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/21 05:27 AM |
| 52 | Pinky Strikes Again - if women came with instructions...Don't even get me started on building IKEA furniture with men. I refuse to do it now. Happy to build my own furniture or have girlfriends over to help me with the big pieces. I don't need to deal with your man child tantrums because you couldn't follow instructions. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/06/21 11:14 PM |
| 3 | The similarities are crazy! 🤯Well, most women I know certainly don't have six inch dicks. I'll give you that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/21 10:21 PM |
| 6 | What is the difference between the kind of woman a man dates to pass the time and the woman he invests in and commits to?Men commit to the women they're interested in. There's no magic formula or recipe. The ones they string along are the ones who allow them to do it (i.e. "We've been seeing each other 8 months, but he's not into labels" or "We've been dating 9 years and I think he'll propose soon!"). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/21 10:15 PM |
| 11 | The similarities are crazy! 🤯Anyone who thinks a man making six figures is providing the private jet life doesn't know how money works. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/21 10:11 PM |
| 4 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadThat's true. I mostly get tired of men trying to act like I have a hidden agenda. If I say "my opinion is A," the response is often "are you sure it's really A? I think your opinion is B!!!" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/21 10:06 PM |
| 1 | What do you guys think about allimony if the wife was a SAHM? Or the husband for that matter.I would have made that decision with my partner for the better good of our household and family. Alimony would help get back on my feet after a divorce. Any man who wants a SAHM knows the full risks of alimony in the event of a divorce. I'm tired of men crying about "I don't care about a woman's career!" then "Boo hoo alimony!" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/21 10:04 PM |
| 10 | What do you guys think about allimony if the wife was a SAHM? Or the husband for that matter.A teen should be able to save more than $700 a month. Child support isn't paid to the child. It's paid to the other parent for expenses related to raising the child, like housing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/21 08:34 PM |
| 10 | Romance Books for FDS?It's pretty cheesy, but I enjoyed the American Royals series. The books are about a world in which the Washington family became a monarchy, and the main characters are all women either in or connected to the American Royal Family. There's some silly stuff (and some of the characters are awful), but it's definitely more of made up world which I'm fine giving certain things a pass in. Same with the Selection series. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/06/21 08:03 PM |
| 492 | Refinery29 Article: I Earn Much Less Than My Partner, But We Split Costs Evenly. How Do I Stop Resenting Him?This theme is so common on the relationship subreddits. None of these men have respect for their partners. They pretend to because "ooooh, look at her being a strong independent woman contributing 50/50!" They're happy to let their girlfriends and wives supplement their lifestyles. Most of the time, these women are barely making ends meet (or even going into debt) while their partners are comfortably spending, saving, contributing to retirement, etc. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/06/21 08:00 PM |
| 3 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadIt would be something they’d take as a deductions at tax time, and the man would never know she was being paid because there was no monetary transaction at the time they had sex. How would an IRS auditor be able to verify the sex happened? "Hi, is this Mr. Rotter. I'm an IRS auditor, and I'm calling to confirm you received a... let me check my notes... blow job from Susan Mitchel on January 3, 2021. Is that correct?" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/21 07:55 PM |
| 8 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadAs a woman, I find that many men just try to "gotcha" their way into me admitting "their truth." They're not interesting in hearing what I have to say. They just want to prove their point. Half the time, I just stop responding because it's not worth it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/21 07:53 PM |
| 8 | Should the woman take the man's surname when they marryIt should be a personal choice, like many relationship topics. At this point in my life, I would likely not be interested in changing my last name. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/21 07:50 PM |
| 4 | What do you guys think about allimony if the wife was a SAHM? Or the husband for that matter.Alimony isn't for women who stay home for 12 weeks on maternity leave. Like I said in my previous comment: My salary increased over $30,000 in the past five years. If I had been a SAHM during that time, I would have lost out on that earning potential. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/21 06:46 PM |
| 5 | What do you guys think about allimony if the wife was a SAHM? Or the husband for that matter.Alimony isn't so people don't have to work. It's to supplement their income and work experience they lost from being out of the workforce. My salary increased over $30,000 in the past five years. If I had been a SAHM during that time, I would have lost out on that earning potential. The alimony would be to help me get back into my career and to make up for that lost time. It's not so I don't have to work. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/21 06:41 PM |
| 8 | To what extent should a boyfriend be a "fun guy" ?Yeah... this is a super one dimensional view of people. I (F) have a serious job, and I'm in professional mode all day in my (at-home) office. When I'm in the rest of the house interacting with my boyfriend (or cat), I'm just a big goofball. If you can't have fun with your partner, why are you with them? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/21 06:37 PM |
| 3 | Critique of women who use Simps for their benefit?Everyone would agree that people (men and women) who willingly use others for their sole benefit are in the wrong. No one supports this action. It could be the woman using the man who has a crush on her, or it could be the man using the woman who has a crush on him. Either way, it's not right. That said, these people who are being taken advantage of need to establish their own boundaries. I (F) once hit my limit when a man I barely knew was using me as his therapist and emotional support. While … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/21 05:15 PM |
| 6 | For red and blue pill [or possibly pink as well] ideologies, when it comes to gaming and anime, are there aspects of it considered uniquely problematic or is it just seen as a potential hazard the way similar frivolous activities are?They are able to do it much longer than all these other passions. This is something people tend to overlook. Many other hobbies have definitive start/stop times. Most men who are into, say, fishing can only go on weekend mornings. They might read fishing magazines, watch videos, etc., during the week, but they're much less likely to be doing it obsessively. Same with other hobbies like golf, cycling, running, weight lifting, wood working, etc. Gaming (and anime) is turning out to be different. M… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/21 02:51 PM |
| – | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadSad but true. Any man who's genuinely thrilled about a woman will lock that shit down. They don't want to share their toys. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/21 02:20 PM |
| 1 | Why are uneducated men threatened by educated women?Will her being educated and intellectual make her an appreciably better mother and wife? Yes, being educated and intellectual will make her a better mother and wife. Do you want your kids being raised by someone with no education and no interest in learning? Do you want your kids seeing mom watching nothing but The Bachelorette and having no interest in anything beyond US Weekly? Or do you want a your kids seeing a mom who has a good job and has an interested in personal development? Where do yo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/21 02:17 PM |
| 2 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadCal Newport writes about this topic. If you want to explore this topic more, Digital Minimalism and Deep work are great reads. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/21 08:42 PM |
| 11 | CMV: It's not fair, but a man that "just gets it" is going to be a far better lover than a guy that has to be told what to doThere seems to be a misconception here that all women can remember every detail of their sex lives. Somehow years later, we can vividly recall every intimate detail like it was yesterday. Like we keep journals that document every man, his skills, his size, etc. After every sexual experience, we careful compare it against the others and decide if this man is worthy of us or not. We don't. Sex for me falls into three buckets: great, good, and bad. No man is great all the time. Even with someone yo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/21 02:32 PM |
| 29 | If he still uses Snapchat, lovebombs you in the talking stage, and/or attempts to triangulate you against his ex/gf while seeing you or otherwise uses EtHiCaL nOnMoNoGaMy to justify why he needs multiple women, DISCARD HIM. Do not be the unwitting participant in any scrote’s harem 🤮There's some Google Voice alternatives. Like you said, though, there's really no difference between texting on the app and texting. I never got the big deal of "let's move to whatever other platform even though we're already on a perfectly acceptable messaging app." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/06/21 02:04 PM |
| 2 | Men: what is your perfect waifu like?They'll have sex with you. They don't want to live with, support, or play Daddy to your children. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/21 01:54 PM |
| 4 | Don’t know if I’m making a mistake by leaving my BF..This is going to sound dramatic, but hear me out. Ultimately, you have two options: Break up, grieve the relationship, and move forward. Stay with this man, get married, and stay together forever. Once I frame the situation like that, I realize breaking up is the only real option. Yes, it's super black and white, but sometimes you need to reframe things that way. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/06/21 01:49 PM |
| 3 | Men: what is your perfect waifu like?I've had 4 kids This is going to be a deal breaker to most men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/21 01:39 PM |
| 58 | If he still uses Snapchat, lovebombs you in the talking stage, and/or attempts to triangulate you against his ex/gf while seeing you or otherwise uses EtHiCaL nOnMoNoGaMy to justify why he needs multiple women, DISCARD HIM. Do not be the unwitting participant in any scrote’s harem 🤮I'd always say "I prefer to use the app until we meet, and then we can exchange phone numbers (but it was my Google Voice number)." If a man pushed back, then bye bye. If he respected that boundary, we could continue the conversation. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/06/21 01:24 PM |
| 1 | Sex is higher pressure for menNo matter what I reply with, it won't be good enough for you. Again, it's because womenzzzz evil. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/21 03:29 AM |
| 1 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadIt really depends on the issue and the corporate culture. Employees should be able to handle most issues between themselves unless it's heavier stuff like sexism or racism. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/21 02:22 AM |
| 8 | So I have came to terms with my old pickme self and the type of men I shouldn't date, but I don't know what qualities to seek. What helped you curate the qualities you look for?What helped me curate the qualities I was looking for? Unfortunately, a lot of trial and error. A good idea would be to read through both this sub and other subs to see what sorts of red flags and green flags show up. There's a lot of women here (like me) who are older and in relationships who stick around to try to help others figure things out without having to go through the crap we went through. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/06/21 02:20 AM |
| 3 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadThere's certainly women who expect men to just know. Those women will either mature or get stuck with bad sex. I wanted to point out, though, that there's some dudes who simply just do not care about a woman's pleasure. Not all women complaining about not getting off are with men who actually care about their orgasms. A lot of them are with men who are indifferent about their partner's pleasure. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/21 02:16 AM |
| 5 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadThere's men who are open to feedback and want to make women get off. There's also dudes who are just like "I came sleep time now ok." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/21 02:08 AM |
| 1 | Sex is higher pressure for menI didn't want him to get sick from taking something that wasn't legitimate, and I wanted him to actually figure out what was wrong with his erections instead of just saying "oh, I'll brush my problems aside by taking these questionable pills." Look, if he went to the doctor, and the doctor prescribed him Viagra, that would be different. I was uncomfortable with the fact he was taking who knows what instead of actually figuring out what was wrong. What if he had, I don't know, testicular cancer o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/21 02:07 AM |
| 117 | At first it looks like a good answer, but then you realize the first part is about him, the second part is about you helping HIM achieve HIS goals (!), and the third part is a hastily assembled mishmash of Good Qualities he put in at the last minuteI offended a man on Hinge because I told him his "looking for" was basic. He told me he was looking for someone loyal, kind, and funny. No one is out there looking for someone mean with no sense of humor who cheats. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/06/21 12:35 AM |
| 56 | Just doing pick me things, oopsie! 🤪Where do I sign up for this service? Why aren't my exes showing up at my house and spending hours cleaning? I couldn't even get my ex to spend time cleaning my house when he lived in it... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/06/21 12:26 AM |
| 2 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadI hope that you have a great trip together. Traveling with a partner for the first time (or really any time) can be stressful. Try to just take things as they come and work together to problem solve when issues arise. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/21 12:11 AM |
| 1 | Sex is higher pressure for menI was uncomfortable with someone I liked taking unknown medicine (again, this was "Viagra" bought online, not something from a doctor). I highly encouraged him to seek a professional opinion in case he had something more serious going on. But no, of course it's just because I'm an evil womenzzzzzz. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/21 12:09 AM |
| 2 | Sex is higher pressure for menIt's my choice who I sleep with, though. He can take all the Viagra he wants. Doesn't mean I need to ride the D afterwards. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/21 09:32 PM |
| 2 | Extroverted women are more attractive than introvertedHave you looked up what the difference is between an introvert and an extrovert? You're confusing "social and experienced" with "extroverted." Introverts can flirt, pronounce 'L'Occitane' correctly, and travel... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/21 09:19 PM |
| 1 | Sex is higher pressure for menIn the United States, Viagra and sildenafil are only available by prescription. Again, he was buying this medicine online, not from a reputable source. One study done by the Pfizer Global Security team found that nearly 80% of online sites that claimed to sell Viagra were actually selling a counterfeit. The team even found dangerous additives like blue printer ink, amphetamines (or speed), rat poison, road paint, and floor wax hidden in counterfeit Viagra. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/21 08:50 PM |
| 1 | Sex is higher pressure for menHe didn't get it from a doctor nor was it prescribed to him. He bought what he thought was Viagra from who knows where. I wasn't comfortable with someone taking drugs like that just for us to have sex. If it was something he had discussed with a doctor or a health care professional, I'd be more likely to be open to it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/21 07:51 PM |
| 0 | Sex is higher pressure for menHe didn't get it from a doctor nor was it prescribed to him. He bought what he thought was Viagra from who knows where. I wasn't comfortable with someone taking drugs like that just for us to have sex. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/21 07:49 PM |
| 31 | Sex is higher pressure for menWhen I was younger, absolutely. It's always a risk when you have sex, even if you take all the necessary precautions. I don't think about it much anymore, but that's also because I trust my birth control more (it's done me good so far), and I'm also in a position where I'd be fine/happy if I got pregnant. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/21 03:21 PM |
| -4 | Sex is higher pressure for menI dated a man in his 20's who preferred to take Viagra in the bedroom because he had ED. It made me super uncomfortable. I would rather have no sex than sex knowing he had to take pills he shouldn't be. Edit: To clarify since it's been asked, the man I was seeing didn't seek medical attention for his ED. The Viagra wasn't something a doctor advised or prescribed to him. He bought it online somewhere, and he was "pretty sure" it was the real thing. I had asked him to seek a doctor, but he made ex… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/21 03:16 PM |
| 44 | Sex is higher pressure for menSure, sex is high pressure for men, but a lot of men just don't give a fuck. You can't say that the stress from not getting off is higher than the stress of risking getting pregnant. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/21 02:59 PM |
| 5 | Has love become more rare?Like others said, the focus in the past was on economic advantage, connecting families, having children, etc., not love. While I don't think love has become more rare necessarily, I do think commitment has. Not just commitment in the dating sense but also commitment to marriage. Being in a successful relationship means waking up every day and choosing to be with the other person. Sometimes it's a struggle. Nowadays, people just don't want to put in the hard work or stick to their commitments. Th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/21 02:20 PM |
| 1 | Is the current state of dating incentivizing women to stay in mediocre/bad relationships?We lived together for a year before I broke up with him. He had the money (I think). It wasn't a "I'll get you next pay check" kind of situation. We were both earning good incomes at the time. He'd just straight up avoid paying me for weeks until I'd bring it up. He didn't have enough respect for me to contribute his fair share and was more than happy to freeload. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/21 02:10 PM |
| 74 | Don't even pretend you're having a good time.I got a shit gift for my birthday from my ex. The thought was kind of there, but overall, it was like a 2/10. I asked some of my friends what I should do. Most of them said "Well, he got you something! Just pretend you like it! Be grateful!" What did I do instead? I (politely) told him I didn't like the ($30, lazy) gift he got me and instead told him to buy me a $400 gift I had been eying. Why should I accept a subpar gift from a boyfriend when I went all out for his birthday a few months earlie… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/06/21 03:56 AM |
| 11 | The Recent Victoria's Secret Brand Image Shift Is A Symptom Of Female Entitlement CMVYeah I'm really concerned about how kendal jenner and co. However will the top models in the world possibly survive this? I (F) was actually a pretty huge fan of the whole VS marketing machine, and I was bummed when the show was canceled. I'm certainly not worried about any of those women making money after this change, though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/21 03:52 AM |
| 1 | Why do single men over 40 desire relationships/partners more than single women over 40?I was out a lot during the week for work and school so it was easier for him to do whatever behind my back. And yeah, one of his buddy's wives eventually blurted everything out while drunk at a party. It was... great. Seriously, though, I'm glad I did find out and could just move on. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/21 03:45 AM |
| 1 | Why do single men over 40 desire relationships/partners more than single women over 40?If your girlfriend gets upset, it's totally okay to put a topic aside to discuss later. Sometimes I need to get my thoughts together, and I'll say "This conversation is important, but I'm not ready to have it yet. Can we make time on Sunday morning to continue when I've had a chance to figure out my feelings?" As an example from my ex, he'd go out with his friends A LOT and not invite me. He'd usually go out with them twice a week, and I rarely got asked to join unless it was a special event lik… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/21 01:41 AM |
| 0 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadOh, that's awesome then. You should check it out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/21 01:23 AM |
| 1 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadI have a number of friends who really love it. I haven't played, but I've been told many times to check out the free trial (two weeks, I think?). You might as well if you're interested. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/21 01:17 AM |
| 1 | Why do single men over 40 desire relationships/partners more than single women over 40?Oh boy. There were a lot of little things that just didn't make sense to me during our relationship (which obviously then did make sense once I learned the truth). Time and time again, I would think to myself "Why would he do that...?" It alarmed me that we lived together, and I just couldn't understand his thought process or actions on a regular basis. Any time I tried to ask him to clarify things or explain them to me, he'd either get extremely defensive or shut down the conversation entirely.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/21 01:16 AM |
| 2 | Why do single men over 40 desire relationships/partners more than single women over 40?Funny enough, it turns out my ex was a cheater and a liar. He had been lying to me our whole relationship and the constant drama he created was a result of his plans to keep me in the dark. When I found this out, I broke up with him and kicked him out of my house. Yup, I was the idiot who was doing his share of the chores while he was out partying and doing who knows what. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/21 12:41 AM |
| 5 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadCheating is bad. I'm glad this man stood up for himself and dumped his girlfriend. Why the fuck is he posting this video, though? This is some real attention whoring. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/21 12:35 AM |
| 4 | Why do single men over 40 desire relationships/partners more than single women over 40?I broke up for him over other things, too. The annoyance over chores was pretty bad, though. I was exhausted from taking care of everything, and during our last serious conversation about it, he was like "I'm a dumb boy. I don't know any better!' Seriously... He was not conservative or Christian. He was just lazy and disrespectful. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/21 12:33 AM |
| 10 | Why do single men over 40 desire relationships/partners more than single women over 40?My ex, and many other men, literally expect this from their partners. And yes, I was contributing 50/50 financially. We did eventually get a cleaning service every other week (which we share expenses for), but by that point, I was pretty fed up. A cleaning service also doesn't entirely eliminate all household chores. I dumped him after a year of living together. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/21 12:01 AM |
| 9 | Why do single men over 40 desire relationships/partners more than single women over 40?Like the others have said, I'm not interested in a relationship where I'm paying 50/50 but tackling the majority of the household management. I have a great career that I've worked hard for (and out earn most people), and I don't plan on quitting when I have kids. Any relationship I have has to be an equitable distribution of work. If a man wants me to take on all the household management, we're not compatible. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/21 11:50 PM |
| – | Why do single men over 40 desire relationships/partners more than single women over 40?For the women still looking for a relationship my age, they find most of these men want a woman who’s basically their bangmaid and willing to also go half on the bills so as not to seem like a gold digger. And they rather stay alone than work all day and come home and cook and clean for someone who also expects them to hop on their dick, and expects them to be grateful for their presence. This is something we don't talk enough about here. Too many men now expect their partners to pull their weig… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/21 10:52 PM |
| 10 | Surprise Anniversary Dinner… THIS is what high-value effort is!Shout out to my ex who ruined every holiday/birthday/anniversary. I refuse to be in a relationship like that again. I want to be with someone who wants to celebrate with me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/06/21 07:44 PM |
| 2 | Is the current state of dating incentivizing women to stay in mediocre/bad relationships?Here's just one (of several) examples of how he treated me poorly. When we moved in together, we agreed to split everything 50/50. We made similar salaries, and we wanted to be equals. The plan was to track our shared expenses and pay each other back when needed. The problem was that I ended up paying for 95% of our living expenses, and he never bothered to pay me back on a regular schedule. He was totally happy freeloading off me. It would get to a point where he'd owe me $2,000+, and then I'd … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/21 04:53 PM |
| 149 | Is anyone else here a virgin who is disgusted by slutty guys?There's a lot of men out there who have slept around but still think virgins will be lining up to date them once they're ready to settle down. It's delusional. Plain and simple: it's a lifestyle and values mismatch. Your attitude is perfectly healthy and totally normal. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/06/21 01:15 AM |
| 10 | Is the current state of dating incentivizing women to stay in mediocre/bad relationships?Yes, some women are incentivized to stay in mediocre/bad relationships because the process of finding someone new is daunting or they've fallen victim to the sunk fallacy cost. There are women who would rather be in a bad relationship than single at all costs. In general, I think most women (and men) stay in unfulfilling or toxic relationships because women (and men) aren't all taught what healthy relationships look like, have misguided hope that things will change, and then don't know how to re… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/21 01:09 AM |
| 22 | Guide to Dating Single DadsMy NVM ex was Potentially Dateable Dad #1 and transitioned to a Potentially Dateable Dad #2 during our relationship. Our relationship was a train wreck. The only HVM single dad I know has decided to put off dating until his kids are off to college. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/06/21 11:40 PM |
| 22 | Am I the only one who thinks that doesn't sound healthy? ...maybe I'm misunderstanding it?We're fed this like that relationships, especially new ones, should have butterflies. Most of those so-called butterflies are just anxiety. They're symptoms of insecurity and uncertainty, which some people like to prey on. We think we're catching feels for someone, but it's just anxiety. Like, the "will he call me?" flutter aren't good feelings, but we've tricked ourselves into thinking they are. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/06/21 08:50 PM |
| 7 | Porn use is a symptom, not a cause, of male sexlessnessSure, but if you watched hardcore porn for years before having sex with an awkward seventeen year old virgin, it's probably going to be pretty disappointing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/21 06:17 PM |
| 25 | Porn use is a symptom, not a cause, of male sexlessnessThe average age of a child the first time they see internet pornography is 11-13 years. Boys generally aren't having relationships and sex at that age. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/21 04:09 PM |
| 1 | Why do so many of the things women accuse men of seem to be the things they're most guilty of?When it comes to online dating, I swipe left on anyone who uses their space to state their preferences like that. I'm more open to it if it's phrased more positively like "Childless and looking for the same." Ultimately, your profile is for me to learn about you. I'd prefer if people use that space to talk about themselves. If you don't want someone who's [preference], vet for that yourself instead of asking women to self vet for it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/21 08:32 AM |
| 1 | Why do so many of the things women accuse men of seem to be the things they're most guilty of?I can get 10 women’s numbers from bars before I get one who will respond on tinder. It might be because of the "no fat chicks" line. I'm an athletic, skinny woman without kids, and that would be an automatic no from me. Even if you were the Chad of all Mega Chads. I want your profile to tell me who you are. If you don't want large women or single moms, vet for that yourself. Don't expect women to vet themselves out for you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/21 08:30 AM |
| 1 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadEither a more fulfilling career or a more fulfilling hobby. It's cliché, but just something I can be excited about each day. I don't think I need to be passionate about my job, but I need to find more things that make me happy on a daily basis. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/21 07:59 AM |
| 6 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadOh, I (F) have some actual knowledge on this sort of thing. The custody agreement will outline what extras will be paid for by the parents outside the day-to-day expenses covered by child support. This could be school tuition, medical expenses, dental insurance, child care, travel expenses (if the parents don't live in the same city), etc. If something like summer camp isn't spelled out directly in the custody agreement, Parent A who wants the summer camp would have to ask Parent B to pay, but P… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/21 11:31 PM |
| 3 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadSuggesting raising the taxes on the wealthy hurts their dreams of rolling in riches. It's ridiculous, but people are upset because when they get to $400,000, they don't want to be taxed (even though 99.9% of people won't get there). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/21 09:37 PM |
| 1 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadWhen this has happened to me, it's been right before they announce something big like an engagement or they've recently joined an MLM. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/21 09:33 PM |
| 3 | Most single mothers would rather marry a single childless man than a single father. The opposite is untrue. I think these are the reasons that justifies why single childless men should not marry single mothers...Ladies, do NOT have children out of wedlock. There are many single mothers who were married but then went through a divorce. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/21 08:01 PM |
| 2 | Most single mothers would rather marry a single childless man than a single father. The opposite is untrue. I think these are the reasons that justifies why single childless men should not marry single mothers...There were definitely some things that I considered positives (like my ex was a gem with babies), but they certainly didn't outweigh the negatives by a long shot. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/21 03:57 PM |
| 17 | Most single mothers would rather marry a single childless man than a single father. The opposite is untrue. I think these are the reasons that justifies why single childless men should not marry single mothers...Deep down, some parents selfishly recognize the difficulties they bring to a relationship and don't want to deal with that. My ex's family situation caused a ton of drama in our household, and I can't imagine if it were doubled. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/21 03:53 PM |
| 3 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadThat thread is gold. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/21 03:31 PM |
| 7 | Most single mothers would rather marry a single childless man than a single father. The opposite is untrue. I think these are the reasons that justifies why single childless men should not marry single mothers...When I dated a single dad, this was one of my concerns. He obviously claimed that he'd be just as excited and thrilled, but based on how he treated his first child versus his second, it seemed unlikely. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/21 02:43 PM |
| 32 | Most single mothers would rather marry a single childless man than a single father. The opposite is untrue. I think these are the reasons that justifies why single childless men should not marry single mothers...Echoing this sentiment from the childless woman's point of view. Dated a single dad for nearly three years, and yeah, just stay the F away from that lot if you don't have kids of your own. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/21 02:41 PM |
| 2 | Is the value of "Red Pill" media help or entertainment?If someone watches 10,000 videos telling them the sky is red, they're going to start thinking the sky is red. The content someone consumes starts affecting their reality. To those men watching nothing but Kevin Samuels, that's the truth about men and women. How would they know anything else? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/21 10:17 PM |
| 2 | Is the value of "Red Pill" media help or entertainment?These content creators probably start off wanting to help others. They think their advice is going to be the golden key to help both men and women unlock their dating potential. That doesn't sell, though. You don't become YouTube rich off being polite and helpful. Like you said, Kevin Samuels makes this highly entertaining content trashing women, and his audience just eats it up. You know what happens next? People keep coming back to his YouTube channel, he increases his revenue, and he gets mor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/21 10:01 PM |
| 15 | Discussion/debate: Why do men become beta orbiters?It's hope. He's not getting validation from hanging around Stacy and being in her support network. He continues to stay in her orbit because he hopes that one day she wakes up and realizes he's the one for her. While orbiters would like to have sex with Stacy, I assume they most likely want something more with her which is why they continue to invest in their "friendship." It's probably not worth all that effort just to get laid. This is the same hope that keeps woman sleeping with men who don't… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/21 09:46 PM |
| 27 | When you speak to previous generations about the current state of dating, what are their reactions ?I'm in my early thirties, and I have friends who married their college sweethearts and never did online dating. On the other hand, I have friends who are online dating experts by this point. The people who have never online dated really romanticize the whole dating after college experience. They met their partners in person during a time when we're all constantly socializing so they've never had to actually put much effort into meeting new people. They look at dating apps with rose colored glass… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/21 04:59 PM |
| 32 | Dating women forces men to be superficialI put that in there to point out the outlandishness of "men only care about superficial things because of women." There is a whole group of men out there who do not care about women but still appreciate finer things in life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/21 02:30 PM |
| 184 | Dating women forces men to be superficialIf that were true, wouldn't all gay men be living in studio apartments, eating Doritos for dinner, and wearing nothing but sweat pants every day? They're not trying to impress women at all. Yes, dating women forces some men to be superficial. This post gives off the impression that all men just want to live in a one bedroom apartment, work at Denny's, and drive a 1995 Honda Civic, though. None of the men in my social circles want that kind of life, regardless of their marital status or interest … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/21 02:19 PM |
| 1 | Women, what is the extent to which height matters on a man?Only if you super care about height. I've been on dates with shorter men who have been like "hey, I like you, but being in a relationship with a taller women is a no-go for me." For them, yes, height contributes to short term compatibility. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/21 02:11 PM |
| -1 | Women, what is the extent to which height matters on a man?I prefer men around my height, but as I pointed out in my post, height isn't really something that contributes to long term compatibility. I ended up meeting someone who I click with who happens to be taller, and I'm seeing how it goes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/21 01:57 PM |
| 5 | Failure/success in finding a partner is dependent on understanding three unique thingsI don't think people should be willing to compromise on core-values and/or boundaries, but a lot of real long term relationships is about making sacrifices and compromises for the great good. For example, two of my older, married teammates have moved to different states to help care for their aging in-laws. Were they totally thrilled to pack up and change their lives for their partner's parents? Not especially, but those are the kind of compromises you have to make in order to weather the storms… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/21 01:42 PM |
| -2 | Women, what is the extent to which height matters on a man?Completely ignoring the "The last two men I dated were 5'8 and 5'9," I see. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/21 01:32 PM |
| 1 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadI understand that. I was raised in a poor household and turned out just fine. I want to be able to afford opportunities for my children if they arise, though. I don't want to have to say "hey, I know you're a promising pianist, but we can't afford piano lessons, sorry." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/21 01:31 PM |
| 3 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadAs a 5'11 woman, I think I win this round. I'd rather date a man who's 5'8 that I find physically perfect than a whatever guy who's 6'0, though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/21 04:31 AM |
| 1 | Women, what is the extent to which height matters on a man?I'm 5'11. I've dated men from 5'4 to 6'8. I prefer men around my height (5'9 to 6'1), although my current boyfriend is 6'4. The last two men I dated were 5'8 and 5'9. Height doesn't particularly matter to me, and height doesn't do much to attractiveness for me. An athletic build on any frame is more attractive than a man who's just tall for the sake of being tall. On the list of things to worry about in a partner, height certainly not at the top, and I don't think it does much in terms of compat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/21 04:28 AM |
| 74 | Failure/success in finding a partner is dependent on understanding three unique thingsI like your list in general, but I would also add: How much you're willing to compromise How much the other person is willing to compromise There's going to be some give-and-take in every relationship, and some people are more willing to be flexible than others. Two people who are otherwise compatible won't be successful if they hit a snag in the road and refuse to compromise. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/21 11:45 PM |
| 1 | Men need to take a woman's income into consideration because when there's a big income gap, the woman will most likely see you as a markUsually within the first few months. I'm open about being marriage minded, and most of the men I date are also in good financially positions. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/21 11:09 PM |
| 4 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadThe question was "what is the best age financially, mentally and genetically?" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/21 09:34 PM |
| 5 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadYou're broke at 20, though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/21 09:30 PM |
| 3 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadYes. People from my childhood are always surprised that this one particular friend and I are close. Most of them didn't go to college, and the two of us did then spent a considerable amount of time together. I always get "You and [his name] ended up being such good friends out of everyone... I didn't expect that..." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/21 09:09 PM |
| 6 | Men need to take a woman's income into consideration because when there's a big income gap, the woman will most likely see you as a markYes, and yes. I'm not petty, and I recognize the value my partner brings to my life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/21 09:07 PM |
| 4 | Men need to take a woman's income into consideration because when there's a big income gap, the woman will most likely see you as a markBecause I'm paying the majority of our bills so he provides in different ways...? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/21 09:04 PM |
| 12 | Men need to take a woman's income into consideration because when there's a big income gap, the woman will most likely see you as a markIt's pretty tactless to ask how much you make, but "what do you do for work?" is just normal conversation. Men ask that on dating sites all the time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/21 09:02 PM |
| 5 | Men need to take a woman's income into consideration because when there's a big income gap, the woman will most likely see you as a markAnything is going to be thrown out in court when it's made under duress or when it has unrealistic clauses. The issues arise when you have situations like "he told me the morning of our wedding to sign the prenup or else he'd call it off" (duress) or "this clause stipulates that he gets 100% of my 401K if I cheat" (unrealistic). If both parties approach the prenup negotiation with their own asks and attorneys, it will likely largely hold up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/21 09:01 PM |
| 24 | Men need to take a woman's income into consideration because when there's a big income gap, the woman will most likely see you as a markNope. When we get married, I'll get a prenup protecting my existing assets, and I recognize the things he does empowers me to achieve more. Too many people act like their lower earning spouses have done nothing to help them succeed in their career. Who's cooking dinner when you're late at work? Who's taking the kids to the dentist so you can attend a meeting? Who's staying home to be there for the plumber? Who's booking flights for your vacations? Having a partner to take on those tasks allows y… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/21 07:15 PM |
| 9 | What percentage of men you've slept with are great in bed?Out of casual sex, 0% were good, much less great. This is why I'd rather stay home with my vibrator. Guaranteed to get off, don't have to shave my legs, and won't get pregnant. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/21 07:09 PM |
| 5 | Men need to take a woman's income into consideration because when there's a big income gap, the woman will most likely see you as a markI (F) won't marry without a prenup, and it's a conversation I have with all the men I date early on. The only man who had a problem with it was the one who also had weird hang ups about finances. Probably should have seen that as a bigger red flag... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/21 07:07 PM |
| 13 | Men need to take a woman's income into consideration because when there's a big income gap, the woman will most likely see you as a markHow do you never talk about your income with your spouse? After my last relationship, I flat out refuse to move towards marriage without a full picture of the other person's finances: debts, savings, retirement funds, stock options... I'm happy to show my cards, too. My ex had some weird hang ups about finances which caused us problems. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/21 06:49 PM |
| 19 | Men need to take a woman's income into consideration because when there's a big income gap, the woman will most likely see you as a markOnly issue I can see arising is she may look down on you and think she can do better. I'm dating a man who makes way less than me, and he compensates by being indispensable in other ways. He makes my life so much easier and more enjoyable. I don't look down on him, and I feel so grateful to have him in my corner. My last boyfriend and I made the same amount of money, but I was taking on 85%+ of our household responsibilities. I thought I could do better because he was creating work for me and ma… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/21 06:38 PM |
| 5 | Men need to take a woman's income into consideration because when there's a big income gap, the woman will most likely see you as a markHow would that work in a long term relationship? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/21 06:32 PM |
| 6 | What percentage of men you've slept with are great in bed?I bucket my sexual experiences into three different categories: great, good, and bad. No man is ever going to fall into the great category every single time. Sometimes you just have a random bad experience. Men are usually a mix of great and good, or they're a mix of good and bad, though. I've read a lot on PPD about how men are worried about being compared to other men in bed, but I can't possibly compare a great sexual experience against another great sexual experience. They're both just great… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/21 06:28 PM |
| 0 | Adult Entertainment Industry Mega ThreadI'd say it's still questionable, yes. I personally just can't watch porn with the nagging feeling of "was this made with full consent?" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/21 04:26 PM |
| 3 | Adult Entertainment Industry Mega ThreadUnfortunately, a lot of industries exploit workers, especially women. The reality is that I have to eat (and do my best to also grow my own produce) whereas jacking off to porn is a want. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/21 03:41 PM |
| 6 | Adult Entertainment Industry Mega ThreadIt's common knowledge that select porn contains actors who are underage, coerced, raped, and/or trafficked (example 1, 2). Yes, not all porn, but definitely some. How does the average porn consumer know that his favorite "teenage girl raped with huge dick" video isn't an actual rape scene? How does a consumer know what's been filmed ethically and what hasn't? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/21 02:25 PM |
| 5 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadNot about being single. I'm embarrassed for all my friends who rushed to the altar in their twenties and are divorced, though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/21 12:50 PM |
| 4 | Weekly Community Chat Megathreadnobody can encourage meaningful self improvement in individuals who do not have the will to improve. This is it. It's way easier to complain than to actually make meaningful changes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/21 12:46 PM |
| 5 | in situations where a parent must pay childcare are they then entitled to a complete record of purchases made with said childcare? and if so should they get a say in how it is spent?If you can't afford to house and feed your children then you shouldn't get any custody of them. Sounds like dads need to step up to the plate then and split custody 50/50. In over 50% of cases, men freely agree to giving the other primary custody (and pay child support). You realize if you marry a woman with similar earnings and then share custody, you don't pay child support, right? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/21 03:22 AM |
| 1 | in situations where a parent must pay childcare are they then entitled to a complete record of purchases made with said childcare? and if so should they get a say in how it is spent?It's not free money for the women. It's money meant for bettering the lives of the children. The courts don't give two shits about the parents. Also, men are more than welcome to custody. In over 50% of cases, they willingly give it up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/21 03:19 AM |
| 1 | in situations where a parent must pay childcare are they then entitled to a complete record of purchases made with said childcare? and if so should they get a say in how it is spent?As it turns out, he just never bothered to try and never bothered to go back to court to see if things change. Also, in over 50% of custody cases, the woman gets primary custody as decided by both parents without any court involvement. Less than 5% of cases actually have court involvement.Everyone likes to scream favoritism, but when over 50% of men are saying "yeah, you should have the kids," it's not. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/21 03:19 AM |
| – | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadGuess I don't have to worry about rent this month because I can date! That solves all my problems, right? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 09:25 PM |
| 8 | Why do people insist that only women postpone having kids when many women risk becoming single mothers to have kids?Asking you what you bring to the table is a weird question? I think it's tacky to ask. Yes, everyone should be trying to determine what the other person has to offer, but there are much more acceptable ways to do it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 09:21 PM |
| 7 | What is your greatest difficulty in dating?I had no problem finding men to go out with, but I had a hard time identifying men I was compatible with. The first step in overcoming it was to accept that online dating is a waste of time for me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 09:19 PM |
| 13 | What is your greatest difficulty in dating?Why is being comfortable with being single a negative? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 09:16 PM |
| 2 | in situations where a parent must pay childcare are they then entitled to a complete record of purchases made with said childcare? and if so should they get a say in how it is spent?I could be biased as a man, but if my money is literally going to another person for an intended purpose, I want to know that the intended purpose is being fulfilled. Are your kids happy? Are they well fed? Are they doing well in school? If your kids are being raised, then yes, the intended purpose of the money is being fulfilled. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 09:10 PM |
| 1 | in situations where a parent must pay childcare are they then entitled to a complete record of purchases made with said childcare? and if so should they get a say in how it is spent?Because of a few bad apples who frivolously spend their child support, all single parents should have to suffer by providing itemized receipts and having tracked spending? Huh... that kind of reminds me about the "totally unfair" situation men whine about because some men are rapists and thus many women are precautious. Why is it OK to make all single parents suffer for a few bad apples? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 09:08 PM |
| 1 | in situations where a parent must pay childcare are they then entitled to a complete record of purchases made with said childcare? and if so should they get a say in how it is spent?Could also charge a small tax to cover it. Why do I want to pay taxes because Daddy wants itemized receipts for the child support he owes? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 09:06 PM |
| 5 | in situations where a parent must pay childcare are they then entitled to a complete record of purchases made with said childcare? and if so should they get a say in how it is spent?How does something like a cable bill work? Do I track the hours my child watches TV then can claim that much of the cable bill belongs to them? What about other utilities? My car payment? My rent? What if I buy a Switch but the kid uses it 80% of the time? People without kids forget you have to provide more than clothes and books. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 06:06 PM |
| 5 | in situations where a parent must pay childcare are they then entitled to a complete record of purchases made with said childcare? and if so should they get a say in how it is spent?If you can't trust someone to spend child support properly, it sounds like she's not the kind of woman you should have had kids with... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 06:04 PM |
| 7 | in situations where a parent must pay childcare are they then entitled to a complete record of purchases made with said childcare? and if so should they get a say in how it is spent?It's a lot of unnecessary work and hassle. If you can't trust someone to spend child support properly, you probably shouldn't have trusted to have kids with them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 06:03 PM |
| 17 | in situations where a parent must pay childcare are they then entitled to a complete record of purchases made with said childcare? and if so should they get a say in how it is spent?How many of you actually want that? Crickets. My ex would cry to me about how hard it was to be an every-other-weekend Dad (to his kids from a previous relationship), but when I asked him why he didn't pursue joint custody during the divorce, he looked at me like I had three heads. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 03:02 PM |
| 10 | Why do people insist that only women postpone having kids when many women risk becoming single mothers to have kids?From my perspective, it's the FOMO culture fanning the flames. People don't want to commit or put a stake in the ground because "well, what if there's an even better woman on Tinder tomorrow?" So everyone kind of just tries to keep their options open. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 02:59 PM |
| 18 | Why do people insist that only women postpone having kids when many women risk becoming single mothers to have kids?“doesn’t know what the future holds” This was my experience, too. Dating in my early thirties, so many men said they they were "open to whatever." Even men who were in their late thirties would note they were "open to settling down one day" as if they were spring chickens in their twenties. I very rarely came across a man who firmly stated that they were looking for a long term relationship leading to marriage and kids. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 02:48 PM |
| 83 | THE PROBLEM WITH ONLINE dating: How dating apps sabotage our chances at finding a partner.It's absolutely true. Online dating needs to be rebranded as "online meeting." "Dating" implies being matched compatible people, but dating apps don't do that. It's just a way to meet people outside your social network. There's no way to easy find people who are going to be a good fit. Dating apps don't want you in a relationship because then they lose out on a customer. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/06/21 02:42 PM |
| 18 | in situations where a parent must pay childcare are they then entitled to a complete record of purchases made with said childcare? and if so should they get a say in how it is spent?It sounds good in theory, but it's a logistical nightmare. There's no way to properly do it. Child support is money for the financial benefit of a child, and yes, it's vague. How would you possible calculate expenses if you needed to audit them? Let's pretend I'm a single mom getting child support for two kids from my ex-husband. I have primary custody of both kids, and we live with my husband and his two kids from a previous marriage. (This is totally hypothetical. I'm a childless woman with a … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 02:07 PM |
| 140 | Pregnant feminist who makes way less than bf will "pay for herself" in the name of equalityI hope "everyone pays their fair share" means expenses are at least split proportionally by income, but something tells me that's unlikely. If you're in a relationship where finances are split 50/50 despite you making less, don't. It's OK to tell your partner "this isn't working for me." There's no reason to sacrifice your debt repayment, retirement saving, ability to enjoy life, etc. for the sake of "everything equal." Also, most of the time, 50/50 in the bank still means 85/15 in the house. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/06/21 01:47 PM |
| 1 | The notion of « gold digging » is none sense.It makes sense. There's so many issues (being the provider, child support, "divorce rape") that simply don't exist when you make the same as your wife. The standard reply is bUt HyPeRgAmY. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 01:09 PM |
| 2 | The notion of « gold digging » is none sense.Then perhaps men should start caring more about how much money their potential partners make. It would make their lives a lot easier. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 04:20 AM |
| 0 | The notion of « gold digging » is none sense.Men claim to not care about what a woman makes, but then they complain about how their wives don't contribute enough to retirement or how they're "divorce raped." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 04:08 AM |
| 54 | I'm so happy people are pointing out her naivete in the comments. Seriously, don't follow her advice!I'm a big proponent of couples doing what works for them when it comes to finances, but this system is pure stupidity. My parents don't share finances anymore for the most part. They moved from away from a shared finances system after 15+ years of marriage, a lot of transparency, a fully paid off house, older kids, fully funded retirement funds, and a very solid understanding of how the other approaches money. Both of them are well off. There's no debt. There's ample money for the next however m… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/06/21 04:07 AM |
| 1 | The notion of « gold digging » is none sense.Many women (myself included) think about children when dating. The single most important decision you make for your children is who their father is. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 03:48 AM |
| 1 | The notion of « gold digging » is none sense.From a "I want me and any future children to have the best opportunities possible," I can get where OP is coming from. Who doesn't want a nice life with less worries? I don't think it's the best strategy for a successful, long term relationship, though. Money is important, but there also a lot of other factors to consider in a partner that are equally important. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 03:43 AM |
| 2 | The notion of « gold digging » is none sense.A man can absolutely reject a woman because of her finances. I'd hope he'd use a little more tact than "ur poor," though. A simple "we're not compatible" is fine. Money is the number one reason for divorce. You do yourself a favor if you date someone who makes what you do and has a similar philosophy about money. It's not a guarantee to success, but you're reducing challenges if find someone who approaches finances the way you do. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 03:22 AM |
| 2 | The notion of « gold digging » is none sense.There are gold diggers. Take a look at any of Hugh Hefner's girlfriends who were clearly with him for the lifestyle he could provide. The problem is that somehow the term has been used to describe any woman who might possibly care about the financial stability of a partner. Wanting a financially stable man, especially if you're a financially stable woman, is just common sense. Why would a high-earning woman want a man who's barely employed? Yet somehow now she's a gold digger for only dating men… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 02:24 AM |
| 1 | What good is a woman withholding sex as a strategy if she's not withholding until marriage?Most men don't put in that much effort. You'd be surprised how often the following happens to me on dating apps: Him: How's it going? Me: Good, how are you? Him: Pretty great. Want to grab coffee on Saturday? That's basically no effort. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 11:10 PM |
| 2 | Most teenaged boys by 2023 will be red pill awarePickup artist. Like this. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 09:48 PM |
| 1 | Can someone please give me some good reasons why any financially successful man (or woman) should ever get married in today’s day and age?I love your attitude here. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 09:39 PM |
| 2 | Most teenaged boys by 2023 will be red pill awareYes, I know. Redpill was less well-known back then, and I used PUA as a similar kind of male culture example. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 09:15 PM |
| 3 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadI'm a tall woman, and I also don't get women's obsession with height. I've dated men everywhere from 7 inches shorter to 9 inches taller. I generally prefer men around my height (although my current partner is taller). That said, I've experienced my fair share of men who are completely against dating taller women which somehow never enters the conversation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 09:02 PM |
| 3 | What good is a woman withholding sex as a strategy if she's not withholding until marriage?You're welcome to have your viewpoints that differ from mine. It simply means we're not compatible, and that's totally fine. No one is compatible with everyone. If I'm interested in a man, he will know. Trust me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 09:00 PM |
| -2 | What good is a woman withholding sex as a strategy if she's not withholding until marriage?You're welcome to have that view point. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 08:44 PM |
| 2 | What good is a woman withholding sex as a strategy if she's not withholding until marriage?He's welcome to go out with a different women if he'd like. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 08:43 PM |
| 84 | Most teenaged boys by 2023 will be red pill awareI'm sure most men will "stumble upon TRP" at some point in their teenage years, but that doesn't mean they'll adopt the ways of the red pill. Most of my male friends were aware of PUA culture in college (ten years ago), but that doesn't mean they tried to embrace that lifestyle. What I'd much rather see is a world in which teens (of both genders) are focusing on finding their own happiness outside of sex and relationships. The intense focus on finding and being with someone is what's fucking eve… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 07:25 PM |
| 10 | What good is a woman withholding sex as a strategy if she's not withholding until marriage?As I said elsewhere, if a man has a problem with paying for the first 2-4 dates, we're probably not compatible. I highly encourage those men to find women they are compatible with, and I'll stick with them men who I'm compatible with. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 07:12 PM |
| 12 | Women putting off children is not due to children being expensive - the poorest in society have more children than anyone.Ask yourself: are you planning for what YOU want the kid to do, or are you preparing them to become their own person who can make their own decisions about what they want to do? I'm planning to allow my kids to make their own decisions, but I also don't want to be the parent to tell Timmy he can't take piano lessons like he wants to because it's too expensive. I want to be able to afford the things that could help my children. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 07:03 PM |
| 5 | What good is a woman withholding sex as a strategy if she's not withholding until marriage?More so if you expect him to always pay why not be a prostitute instead? I make more money in my day job, and I don't have to worry about pleasing a man. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 07:02 PM |
| 20 | Women putting off children is not due to children being expensive - the poorest in society have more children than anyone.He wants to be able to provide his child with a particular standard of living. Raising a child is stressful. Raising a child on a strict budget is more stressful. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 06:24 PM |
| 6 | What good is a woman withholding sex as a strategy if she's not withholding until marriage?It is odd how many random men on this thread are upset that a random woman they'll never meet isn't compatible with them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 05:54 PM |
| 7 | What good is a woman withholding sex as a strategy if she's not withholding until marriage?If he's interested in me, I'm sure that won't be a problem. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 05:50 PM |
| 8 | What good is a woman withholding sex as a strategy if she's not withholding until marriage?If a man is interested in me, he won't fuss about spending $10 on a sandwich for me. I'm not asking for him to provide for me for the next 50 years, but I know a man is willing to financially invest in a woman he's truly interested in. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 05:50 PM |
| 13 | What good is a woman withholding sex as a strategy if she's not withholding until marriage?Furthermore, if your interest in a man is simply on the basis of the money he spends on you is more of a you problem than anything else. My interest in a man isn't tied to how much he spends on me, but I expect a man to show he's invested in getting to know me. As a woman who frequently out earns the men she dates, I don't expect him to spend much on me, but if he refuses to pay for a few dates, well, he's probably not invested in getting to know me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 05:39 PM |
| 13 | What good is a woman withholding sex as a strategy if she's not withholding until marriage?There absolutely are, and I highly encourage men who want those women to go after them. They'd be happier with those women than me. Again, we're likely incompatible if they want to fuck on the first date. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 05:34 PM |
| 14 | What good is a woman withholding sex as a strategy if she's not withholding until marriage?From what? I have no idea what you're asking. I'm not single. If I were single, I wouldn't sleep with men who were like "So, Dutch on this $10 sandwich." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 05:31 PM |
| 17 | What good is a woman withholding sex as a strategy if she's not withholding until marriage?Men invest in women they're truly interested in. If a man wants to fuss over a $10 sandwich, he's probably not that interested in me. Why would I be interested in him? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 05:29 PM |
| 13 | What good is a woman withholding sex as a strategy if she's not withholding until marriage?I have absolutely no concerns with men going after other women. I'd rather be single than with a man who demands to fuck on the first date and refuses to pay for a $5 coffee before I put out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 05:26 PM |
| 22 | What good is a woman withholding sex as a strategy if she's not withholding until marriage?A man spending time with me and showing his interest in getting to know me makes me feel more comfortable with him. If a man doesn't want to buy me meals or coffee, that's totally fine, and we're probably not compatible. A man who says "you're not worth a $10 lunch sandwich" isn't that into me anyways. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 05:20 PM |
| 16 | What good is a woman withholding sex as a strategy if she's not withholding until marriage?This is exactly how I feel. It takes time before I'm comfortable enough with someone to be alone and naked with them. Like you, very single sex act I partake in needs to be with a male I like, trust, and feel good with. That doesn't happen with some random off Tinder on a first date. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 05:12 PM |
| 5 | Financial Abortion and deadbeat dadsUnless you have paperwork stating such, you're not a sperm donor in the eyes of the law. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 04:47 PM |
| 1 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadOh no. I hope your daughter's surgery goes OK. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 04:26 PM |
| 0 | Financial Abortion and deadbeat dadsUnfortunately, women aren't in charge of legislation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 04:16 PM |
| 7 | Financial Abortion and deadbeat dadsAnd how will you explain this to your future wife/child if you have any? You think any well adjusted woman would be ok with you abandoning your child/their child’s sibling? I'd be mortified if my SO was like "oh, hey, so I got a woman pregnant and bounced... lol." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 03:32 PM |
| 2 | Financial Abortion and deadbeat dadsA sperm donor is a completely different situation. There is an agreement that the donor is not a parent and is not responsible for the child in any way. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 03:32 PM |
| 0 | Financial Abortion and deadbeat dadsIf men gestated the children, I'm sure women would be in favor of financial abortion too, because once again, its about personal benefits. If men gestated the children, abortions would be viable for months and paternity leave would be two years. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 03:30 PM |
| 3 | Financial Abortion and deadbeat dadsYOU, not the tax payer. I'm all for supporting babies, but I don't understand why I, random woman, should end up responsible for someone else's child through my tax dollars when the dad, who made the baby, gets to nope out. Do I also get to sign away my tax dollar support for babies in that case? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 03:25 PM |
| 1 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadGhosting is a uniquely identifiable practice among the younger generation of women and top % men. Dude, I've been ghosted by so many men. It's not just women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 03:20 PM |
| 1 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadIt depends on the length and seriousness of the relationship. If you're in a committed relationship (like you seemed to be), I'd say that deserves an in-person breakup. You do need to have a plan to remove yourself from the situation quickly because I've definitely had breakups go downhill. The last time I was dumped it was via text, but we had only been dating ~2 months and weren't in a relationship so it was whatever. He definitely said more than he didn't need to, but whatever. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 03:20 PM |
| 4 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadSome people wait to have sex because they need time to develop sexual attraction and trust. It's not about fear, it's about being ready. This is exactly how I feel. That's why I'll sleep with someone I was friends with for a while early on whereas I'll wait to get to know a stranger from OLD longer. It's not about "oh.... make him wait!" it's just about building trust. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 03:13 PM |
| 3 | Would you rather have a purely casual relationship with a hot high status man, or a loving faithful relationship with an average man, and why?The prompt doesn't say that at all. It says "It's just sex and then he doesn't see you or talk to you again until he has more sex with you." He's not offering himself as a friend at all. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 03:08 PM |
| 6 | Would you rather have a purely casual relationship with a hot high status man, or a loving faithful relationship with an average man, and why?That's probably more likely true when it comes to dating. If a woman can be wined and dined at the nicest restaurant by a Chad once a week (but secretly knows he's seeing others), she might do that instead of date an average man. For just sex, though? Probably not. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 01:09 AM |
| 4 | Is Porn a Cause of, or a Symptom of, the Rising Number of Virgin/Sexless Men?The average age of first porn exposure is 11, and the average age of virginity loss for men is 16.9. Some teens are watching porn for years before they're having sex for the first time, and whatever they're having in real life isn't living up to the fantasy that porn has built. An awkward 17 year old teenaged virgin girl won't be the kinky porn star the teenage boy has been fantasizing about. Then it seems just easier and more satisfying to stick with porn instead of putting effort into women wh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 12:40 AM |
| 3 | Where are you supposed to get sex as a male if so many situations are frowned upon?It's all about getting out of that comfort zone. That's a big problem with socializing. Too many people are afraid to get out of their comfort zones, and their parents didn't force them to do it enough. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 12:34 AM |
| 3 | FDS being as large as it is shows how out of touch some women are and that doesn’t help get women results.Maybe they're not all bitches? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 12:29 AM |
| 4 | Would you rather have a purely casual relationship with a hot high status man, or a loving faithful relationship with an average man, and why?Not really, no. I'm an attractive woman, and I know I could get sex off Tinder any day of the week if I really wanted it. I don't. It's not worth it to me. Even if it was a really hot guy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 12:05 AM |
| 2 | How would you feel if online dating and social media in your country was outlawed tomorrow?I'd be mostly fine with it because I've limited my social media use (except reddit) to basically nothing. I do, however, use social media for very specific, limited things (like browsing jobs on LinkedIn or keeping in touch with classmates on Facebook). Most people would need to really learn how to entertain themselves again. Social media has given us all a lot of mindless entertainment (which can be great at times). We've lost our collective ability to just be and be bored because we're used to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 11:31 PM |
| 5 | Would you rather have a purely casual relationship with a hot high status man, or a loving faithful relationship with an average man, and why?I'd rather be selfish and focus on my own needs. In a relationship, I'm eager to please my partner in the bedroom, but why should I care about a random man's sexual needs when he's probably not going to do a good job satisfying mine? I get myself off every single time. Men don't. Sex is better than masturbating, but I'd rather not go through the effort of having sex with a FWB. It sounds like more work than it's worth. For example, having to coordinate schedules, possibly drive somewhere, shave … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 11:27 PM |
| 3 | FDS being as large as it is shows how out of touch some women are and that doesn’t help get women results.Yes. My current partner makes 1/3 of what I do. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 09:47 PM |
| 2 | Debate: Divorced parents are NOT single parents.What about the curveball of a parent who is with someone other than their child's parent? They're not single, but by the "never been married to her baby daddies" definition, they could be classified as a single parent despite not being single. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 09:31 PM |
| 5 | FDS being as large as it is shows how out of touch some women are and that doesn’t help get women results.This might be shocking but maybe some women are attracted to things other than money? I'm (F) extremely wealthy. I don't date for money because I don't need a man to provide for me. What I do need is someone to be like "hey, I know you had a long day so I've made dinner for us." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 09:28 PM |
| 25 | FDS being as large as it is shows how out of touch some women are and that doesn’t help get women results.This about sums it up. The core messages of FDS are "don't put in effort you're not getting in return" and "it's better to be single than in a bad relationship." There's absolutely nothing wrong with either of those things. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 09:23 PM |
| 15 | FDS being as large as it is shows how out of touch some women are and that doesn’t help get women results.Most men don't pay 100% of the bills these days. Most of the complaints about men not contributing to the household management are from women who work. In my last relationship, I did over 85% of the chores and errands while also contributing 50% of finances. Of course I was resentful and unhappy about it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 09:19 PM |
| 5 | FDS being as large as it is shows how out of touch some women are and that doesn’t help get women results.If he has to help out with homemaking than what is the woman there for? So a woman's value is only tied to her ability to keep the home? What about the 1/3 of women who out earn their husbands? Pretty sweet deal for men if they only have to pay 50% of the bills and do 0% of the housework. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 09:14 PM |
| 5 | Would you rather have a purely casual relationship with a hot high status man, or a loving faithful relationship with an average man, and why?I mentioned this somewhere else in the thread, but I'd rather stay at home with my vibrator than be in a FWB relationship. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 08:17 PM |
| 12 | Would you rather have a purely casual relationship with a hot high status man, or a loving faithful relationship with an average man, and why?I would never have a fwb and I don’t care about his status. Exactly. Someone being "high status," having a good job, earning a good salary, being able to afford good things... means nothing if you're just having sex with them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 07:50 PM |
| 3 | Would you rather have a purely casual relationship with a hot high status man, or a loving faithful relationship with an average man, and why?That would make more sense if the options were like a past thread where it was marry high status Chad but he wants an open relationship or marry an average guy. In this scenario, it's just "have sex or have a relationship" so I don't think a lot of people will choose A. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 07:49 PM |
| 21 | Would you rather have a purely casual relationship with a hot high status man, or a loving faithful relationship with an average man, and why?You're really asking if a woman would rather: A) Have regular sex with a hot, high status man (even though his status is meaningless if you're just having sex). B) Have a meaningful relationship with an average man. Anyone who's looking for a relationship would go for B. The first man offers nothing but sex which is great for some women but not most. Even when I was single, I would rather just get myself off than be in an arrangement like that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 07:35 PM |
| 2 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadDating felt like more of a chore than work to me (F). The line between chore and work is pretty slim, though. Online dating is just a slog. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 05:42 PM |
| 2 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadI was a mod on another popular lifestyle sub under a different handle years ago. Shit was a lot of work for basically no thanks. I loved the community, but it felt like a shitty on-call job half the time. When I no longer fit the lifestyle (imagine like eating meat but modding the vegan sub), I wasn't sad to leave that role. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 02:59 PM |
| 4 | Q4W: Do you actually worry about violence on the first few dates (with men)?Like /u/0seagirl said, only 1.7% of reported rapes get prosecuted. Most rapes don't even get reported (only ~30% in the US do). So there's a 70% chance the rape was never even reported, let alone had any justice happen through the legal system. Asking "did he get arrested?" is like asking a woman "are you trying again?" after a miscarriage. They're sensitive, emotional situations that often aren't talked about and "I'm sorry that happened to you" is really the only appropriate reply. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 02:49 PM |
| 4 | Q4W: Do you actually worry about violence on the first few dates (with men)?"I'm so sorry that happened to you." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 02:42 PM |
| 371 | A personal realization: why losers leave during cancer.My mom was so worried my dad would leave her when she had cancer. Not only did he stick with her through the entire process, he bought her a luxury car to celebrate when she finished treatment. Don't settle for less than that, ladies. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/06/21 03:15 AM |
| 18 | Q4W: Do you actually worry about violence on the first few dates (with men)?*that you know of I've been sexually assaulted, and I've never told my family. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 03:09 AM |
| 5 | Q4W: Do you actually worry about violence on the first few dates (with men)?It's not my study. You're welcome to reach out to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence to offer a different perspective and new data, though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 03:07 AM |
| 2 | Women shouldn't expect to be paid for on the first few datesThe only way we stop this stupid custom is to raise awareness of how bullshit it is. Can't wait for the men's walks and protests to raise awareness of the very important issue of paying for dates. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 12:17 AM |
| 9 | Q4W: Do you actually worry about violence on the first few dates (with men)?Women get raped, beaten, or killed by strangers every day. Yes, many violent acts committed against women are by men in already established relationships. Yes, many new people you come across are totally safe and harmless. A woman just doesn't know, and that's why we have to play it safe. The analogy I see a lot is if you had a big bowl of candy, but two pieces were poisoned to kill you, would you happily chow down on the candy or would you just put it aside? Dating strangers is like that. We kn… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 11:55 PM |
| 10 | Q4W: Do you actually worry about violence on the first few dates (with men)?I'm so sorry that happened to you. I am generally pretty risk adverse, and I refuse to meet anyone for the first time anywhere private. Everything for the first few weeks must happen in public with other people (i.e. no hiking dates or at-home dates). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 11:49 PM |
| 8 | Q4W: Do you actually worry about violence on the first few dates (with men)?According to these statistics: On average, nearly 20 people (men and women) per minute (28,000+ per day) are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men. On average, there are 16,438 car crashes per day in the US. Every year, there are approximately 6 million car accidents in the US. That first number is not specific to violence on the first or second date, though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 11:47 PM |
| 56 | Q4W: Do you actually worry about violence on the first few dates (with men)?Worrying about violence during dating is like worrying about getting into a car accident. Do I expect to get into an accident every time I drive? No. Have I been in a major accident? No. Do I get scared every time I'm on the road? No. Do I still drive? Yes. Do I still wear my seatbelt? Yes. Do I still pay for insurance? Yes. Do I still do my best to drive safely? Yes. There is a chance I could get into a car accident, and there's a chance I could get hurt dating strangers. Like others here, I ta… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 11:34 PM |
| 10 | If a woman's past body count is "irrelevant" (past is past), a guy having seen a prostitute in the past is "irrelevant." Either both are, or neither are.Women who are saving themselves for personal or religious reasons do not see men with high N-counts are special or valuable. They see them as incompatible. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 11:27 PM |
| 11 | If a woman's past body count is "irrelevant" (past is past), a guy having seen a prostitute in the past is "irrelevant." Either both are, or neither are.People aren't obligated to prefer what they offer. However, many women who are staying virgins or sexually inactive until commitment are also likely to be getting the "visceral images" or "icky" feelings you mentioned about individuals with high N-counts. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 11:26 PM |
| 7 | If a woman's past body count is "irrelevant" (past is past), a guy having seen a prostitute in the past is "irrelevant." Either both are, or neither are.You're welcome to have any preferences you like. If a woman with a high N-count is so repulsive to you, it sounds like the best plan is to date women with low N-counts. I would encourage you to keep your N-count low as well, though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 09:58 PM |
| 35 | If a woman's past body count is "irrelevant" (past is past), a guy having seen a prostitute in the past is "irrelevant." Either both are, or neither are.It's the lie that's the deal-breaker for me. I don't really care about the N-count, but it's obvious she lied because she knew he'd have a problem with him but still wanted to date him. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 09:53 PM |
| 4 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadNeither? It just sounds like you're not interested in dating which is totally fine. It does sound like you might be underestimating your ability to match with women, though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 09:52 PM |
| 10 | If a woman's past body count is "irrelevant" (past is past), a guy having seen a prostitute in the past is "irrelevant." Either both are, or neither are.I personally don't believe "past is past," and I think the OP in that thread is in the bad for lying to begin with. There's a lot of things in someone's past that I would be uncomfortable with. That said, I think everyone needs to examine why something from someone's past bothers them. For example, if a woman's high N-count bothers you, why? Will it truly impact your relationship and how? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 09:50 PM |
| 13 | If a woman's past body count is "irrelevant" (past is past), a guy having seen a prostitute in the past is "irrelevant." Either both are, or neither are.Anyone is welcome to reject another person for whatever reason, including things from their past, but I'd encourage everyone to examine those preferences to understand if they're truly necessary for compatibility. Being OK with someone having a high N-count doesn't mean you have to also be OK with someone's history of seeing prostitutes, though. This argument would make more sense if you compared a woman's high N-count to a man's high N-count. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 09:44 PM |
| 7 | Women shouldn't expect to be paid for on the first few datesI am not a sex worker. What woman doesn't want to be made to feel special by a man taking her out to dinner, though? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 08:31 PM |
| 4 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadMost successful couples don't follow traditional gender roles exactly, and they figure out what mix works best for him. The problem with debates on PPD is that you only see a small section of someone's ask. The debate is usually just one sliver of a relationship, not the whole picture. A woman might say "I want a man to pay for the first dates" but you're missing the "and then I'll contribute 50/50 when we're in a relationship." A man might say "I want a woman to cook" but you're missing the "an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 08:02 PM |
| 7 | Women shouldn't expect to be paid for on the first few datesDid I say they were equally represented? I know they're not. If you want to find someone who won't expect you to pay on the first few dates, though, vet accordingly. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 07:42 PM |
| 15 | Women shouldn't expect to be paid for on the first few datesThis is a great point. If a man acts like we're just getting to know each other as friends by doing things like asking me on walking dates or suggesting we split the bill, I'm not going to be seeing him in a romantic or sexual way. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 05:39 PM |
| 5 | Women shouldn't expect to be paid for on the first few datesIf it's important to date a woman who pays for herself on the first few dates, vet accordingly and only date those women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 05:35 PM |
| 10 | Women shouldn't expect to be paid for on the first few datesthey should be ready to accept the pros and cons of those preferences, and that's where the problem lies. Why is that a problem? Most people accept the pros and cons of their preferences. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 04:19 PM |
| 11 | Women shouldn't expect to be paid for on the first few datesIf not paying on the first few dates is super important, either vet for it before going out or accept not going on second dates. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 04:18 PM |
| 49 | Women shouldn't expect to be paid for on the first few datesThere are women who expect a man to pay for the first few dates. There are women who insist on going Dutch for the first few dates. There are women who refuse to let a man pay for the first few dates. If a man doesn't want to pay for the first few dates, he should date women who insist on either going Dutch or paying. It's a simple compatibility issue. Let the women who insist on men paying for the first few dates go out with the men who are happy to pay for the first few days. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 03:50 PM |
| 2 | What do women mean when they say that they feel like their boyfriend's momWere you living with those women? I don't care that my friend has clothes all over her bedroom floor. I certainly care if a partner I'm living with his clothes all over our bedroom floor. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 03:31 PM |
| 2 | What do women mean when they say that they feel like their boyfriend's momSame. My ex and I split finances 50/50. You know, some modern equal couple. Except then I was taking on 85%+ of our household management which was not a fun time... I refuse to be in that sort of arrangement again. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 03:27 PM |
| 1 | What do women mean when they say that they feel like their boyfriend's momBecause he wants to be in that relationship. Why should a woman downgrade her quality of life to be with someone? When single men bring this topic up, they don't think about or fathom a world in which they actually care about their partner. I want X done Y way. A partner who cares about me will have absolutely no problem helping me get X done in Y way. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 03:21 PM |
| 16 | It is true all women want different things in a guy but the preferences are quite one dimensional.Getting into a relationship doesn't mean it's a good, compatible relationship. I don't know why it seems so many people here assume otherwise. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 02:57 PM |
| 3 | Do you feel bad for only having sex with a girl who clearly wants commitment from you?This is great advice. If someone wants a LTR, they should date with that mindset. For whatever reason, too many young people assume when they're ready for something serious, it will just manifest. That's not always the case. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 02:55 PM |
| 3 | Q4M: For men who believe your looks are the primary reason you struggle with women, please describe your physical looks?I would also be interested to learn what efforts have been taken to improve those looks. For example, if "bad skin" is a reason for perceived ugliness, what skincare routines have been adopted to combat said "bad skin." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/21 11:18 PM |
| 149 | As a married woman, FDS Principles have measurably alleviated my anxietyI'm glad you're taking steps to protect your own mental health and avoid taking care of people (without thanks!) who can take care of themselves. This happened to me in my last relationship, too. I drove myself crazy trying to be the perfect cohabitating girlfriend and stepmom. One day, I just realized it wasn't worth the effort, and I started asking myself "What's the worst that happens if I don't do X?" Usually, the consequences were insignificant to me. For example, I'd always make sure the f… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/21 08:55 PM |
| 1 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadThere's probably not a lot of data on this because giving a child to a parent who doesn't want to parent isn't in the best interest of the child. You should research this topic if you're super interested in learning more. This article has some useful information such as over 25% of men who do not get custody have zero in-person visits with their kids each year. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/21 05:22 PM |
| 5 | To those of you who support traditional roles in a relationship, would you date a woman who makes it clear that she's looking for a man with a good income so she can stay home?Education might become more of an issue when you have kids. If you're dating someone who doesn't have an interest in learning or development in that direction, it might have unexpected effects on the kids. It might be harder to encourage the kids to attend college or seek secondary education if mom didn't. "Why do I have to care about grades for college admission? Mom didn't!" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/21 04:59 PM |
| 2 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadIt would depend on the specifics, but the courts generally place kids with the parent who either A) wants custody, or B) is better suited for parenting. The goal of the courts is to do what's in the best interest of the child. So many people spout "courts favor the moms," but in 51% of divorces, both parents agree the mother should have primary custody. Only 4% of cases actually go to trial. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/21 04:42 PM |
| 2 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadIt depends on your jurisdiction. Grandparents or other family members could take custody, or the parents could try to put the kid(s) up for adoption. If there's no suitable alternative, the courts can just force one or both of the parents to take custody. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/21 04:09 PM |
| 9 | Women should plan for a future without a partner.Unfortunately, that's outside of your control. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 10:45 PM |
| 1 | The future of the average manAnyone who is "self-sufficient" still relies on the products and services of both men and women. Being self-sufficient doesn't mean I live in the woods by myself and eat off the land. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 10:22 PM |
| 2 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadI don't date picky eaters. The men I'm with have to enjoy eating both pussy and a wide variety of foods. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 09:39 PM |
| – | A good example how society/mothers leaving a guy and paint the father the bad guyThis video isn't making the point you think it makes. He says his dad told his mom that he was quitting his job to start his own business. His dad told his mom he was quitting his job. There was no discussion. There was no "how do you think this could work?" There was no "hey, my job kind of sucks, how can we change up my career?" That's not how healthy couples operate. Anyone who makes any sort of unilateral decision that big in a relationship is an asshole. Whether it's someone who quits their… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 08:25 PM |
| 2 | The future of the average manThat sounds like my idea of hell. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 07:10 PM |
| 20 | Women should plan for a future without a partner.This is the best answer. Find the life that makes you happy, and if you happen to find someone who adds to it, great. If not, well, you're already happy living the life you want. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 07:05 PM |
| 4 | Master key/ Bad Lock analogyThe average woman can get laid much easier than the average man if the goal is simply "get fucked by literally anyone." That doesn't change the fact that it's unreasonable to say "women should have a low N-count or they're useless sluts" and "women need to sleep with me on the third date or they're useless prudes." It's totally fine to have preferences, but it's unreasonable to have contradictory preferences. I have absolutely no problems with a man saying "I prefer only low N-count women, and I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 07:04 PM |
| -1 | “If he really wanted me, he would approach me” Do y’all really believe this ?OK then I better not have to contribute 50/50 financially ever again. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 06:45 PM |
| 1 | “If he really wanted me, he would approach me” Do y’all really believe this ?Most men don’t care about how much money you make. I hear this all the time on PPD. Men claim to not care about how much money a woman makes, but they certain enjoy the lifestyle perks a high-earning woman can provide. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 06:25 PM |
| 14 | Master key/ Bad Lock analogyIf a man wants to think that way about sex, it's totally his right to do so. Just don't expect women to want to sleep with you in any sort of quick fashion if you shame them for being "slutty." I read the mixed message here all the time that "she's not worth it if she doesn't fuck by the third date" and also "women with high N-counts are garbage." Those things aren't compatible. You need to be realistic that if your expectation is a virgin or low N-count woman, she's not going to rush into the b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 03:43 PM |
| 1 | “If he really wanted me, he would approach me” Do y’all really believe this ?I'm the breadwinner in my relationship, and I make 3x what my partner does. If I end up single again, I still expect the man to ask me out... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 03:25 PM |
| 2 | “If he really wanted me, he would approach me” Do y’all really believe this ?I'm the breadwinner in my relationship, and I make 3x what my partner does. He seems to be benefiting just fine. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 03:23 PM |
| 8 | “If he really wanted me, he would approach me” Do y’all really believe this ?Not to men she's not interested in? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 03:07 PM |
| 0 | “If he really wanted me, he would approach me” Do y’all really believe this ?I don't want to adopt...? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 02:51 PM |
| 6 | “If he really wanted me, he would approach me” Do y’all really believe this ?I'll happily be the "man" in the relationship when men can actually be the "woman." Unfortunately, biology dictates there are certain gender roles that I must fulfill. If a man could give birth and breast feed, I'd happily exchange all gender roles. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 02:49 PM |
| 1 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadTake it slow. It seems overwhelming right now because it's in the abstract. When you're ready and meet someone you're truly interested in, yes, it won't be magically easy, but you'll be willing to put in the work to make it work. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 02:46 PM |
| -1 | “If he really wanted me, he would approach me” Do y’all really believe this ?Asking a woman out is one traditional role of many. Just because I prefer a man to ask me out doesn't mean I'm asking him to take on every possible traditional role. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 02:40 PM |
| 3 | The future of the average manI might be. This sub constantly reminds me that I'm a wild outlier when it comes to "the average person." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 02:38 PM |
| 32 | “If he really wanted me, he would approach me” Do y’all really believe this ?Most women won't say yes to a man she's lukewarm about. Men here always point out that the average woman has so many options compared to the average man. If that's the case, why would she say yes to one she's "meh" about? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 02:32 PM |
| 6 | The future of the average manNot if comes with "oh, and you have to get along with my three other girlfriends." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 02:26 PM |
| 4 | The future of the average manWhy can't women get their own jobs? 99.9% of women would prefer to be self-sufficient and single than in a polygamous relationship for the sake of financial security. This community conveniently forgets that women are actually capable of getting jobs. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 02:17 PM |
| 3 | The future of the average manThis is a great point. People are underestimating the level of maturity, patience, trust, openness, and understanding that a poly family has to have in order to be successful. The average person cannot do this. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 02:14 PM |
| 14 | “If he really wanted me, he would approach me” Do y’all really believe this ?I do agree with that. However, it's important for women to show indications of interest to someone. If I want someone to ask me out, I make sure he knows the result will be positive, and the rest is up to him. A woman can't expect a man to be a mind reader, and there's plenty of ways to show "hey, I'm into you" without saying "Will you go out with me?" Like others have said, many men just see women asking them out as "well, you're not exactly what I'd want, but I've nothing better going on, so s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 02:10 PM |
| 9 | No hymen, no diamond: The sexual counterrevolution is comingWhat sort of big boy job do you work at? As a lowly woman, I'd love to hear how a man spends his days. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 01:52 PM |
| – | The dating market will change rapidly in a couple of yearsSomehow I ended up living in reality where I had to go to college, climb up the corporate ladder, and pay for my lifestyle. Where does one sign up for the PPD reality where I get government assistance for riding the cock carrousel then some man sweeps me off my feet and buys me everything I want? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 01:49 PM |
| 32 | Are men not self sufficient or are women purposefully humbling those that are?Yeah... I understand the point these men are trying to make, but they're all posting like they're Napoleon or Bill Gates or Washington or Elon Musk. Sir, you work in middle management at a tech company. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/21 03:38 PM |
| 1 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadI was a virgin until 20 in a relationship, and if I was 21 again, I would wait for a relationship again. I didn't want to risk the chance of an unwanted pregnancy with some yahoo, and that's why I don't have casual sex. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/21 03:35 PM |
| 2 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadI don't think that welfare, alimony and child support and lack of financial abortion have a significant impact on the dating market in the west. There might be a very, very small number of women who might have that line of thinking, and I certainly haven't met any of them. The majority of people don't want to live off government benefits or the like. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/21 03:31 PM |
| 1 | Women are only attracted to the top 10-20% of men because the bottom 80-90% don’t put enough effort into their appearance.Good photos certainly won't solve everything. Where I'm at, only 1/10 men have a profile with decent photos, though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/21 03:10 PM |
| – | "men don't take good pictures of themselves, men don't dress fashionably, men don't work on their personality" is BS. Truth is, female taste rules the dating market.Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/21 08:53 PM |
| 7 | Why do men react so shrilly to “OnlyFans” but don’t seem to have an issue with porn, strip clubs, sex phone operators, cam girls on porn sites...?Genuine question: as a consumer, how do you know which porn is "ethical," and which porn features people who aren't there under great circumstances? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/21 07:45 PM |
| 11 | Why do men react so shrilly to “OnlyFans” but don’t seem to have an issue with porn, strip clubs, sex phone operators, cam girls on porn sites...?Asking a man to pay for something that he can get for free, is complete and utter exploitation! Does that same line of thinking apply to water bottles? Do you boycott purchasing water at the gas station because it's utter exploration? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/21 06:19 PM |
| 8 | Why do men react so shrilly to “OnlyFans” but don’t seem to have an issue with porn, strip clubs, sex phone operators, cam girls on porn sites...?There is porn featuring individuals who are being trafficked, raped, drugged, or filmed without their consent. Not all porn, but certainly some. It's pretty naïve to say all women "knew what they were getting into." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/21 06:18 PM |
| 5 | Women are only attracted to the top 10-20% of men because the bottom 80-90% don’t put enough effort into their appearance.This is something I've called out before. Dudes download Tinder/Hinge/Bumble, throw up some half-assed photos of them looking mediocre at best, and then proceed to complain about how they don't get any matches. Ill-fitting clothes, poor lighting, bad grooming, outdated pics, etc. Yes, putting in effort won't magically transform you into a 10, but there are so many men I've passed on thinking he could have been a lot more attractive if he tried. For me (and possibly other women), it's not just "o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/21 06:14 PM |
| 4 | Why are so many men giving money to OnlyFans women?Sure, she's a total babe (seriously hot), but what does a guy get out of throwing money at her on OF? She's got hot photos on Instagram. She's got a (very attractive) husband (who she talks about regularly). She shows off her lavish cars, vacations, clothes, etc. It's not like they've got much of a chance with her or are supporting a poor, starving woman trying to make it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/21 05:14 PM |
| 2 | Understanding Female Intrasexual CompetitionWho says I'm single? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/21 05:10 PM |
| 2 | Understanding Female Intrasexual CompetitionNo, I do not. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/21 04:59 PM |
| 2 | CMV: Men are still expected to honor societal contracts while women are taught full hedonismExactly...? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/21 04:59 PM |
| 3 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadAlso when they glamorize it. I'm in that age where half of my friends never used OLD and half of my friends are OLD pros. The ones who have never used OLD are like "It must be sooooooooooooo fun!" Like, no. It isn't. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/21 03:57 PM |
| 7 | Why are so many men giving money to OnlyFans women?Dude, I don't know. A woman I know just bought a Lamborghini Urus off her OF earnings. (She was already well established as a model prior to the boom of OF, but still.) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/21 03:46 PM |
| 15 | CMV: Men are still expected to honor societal contracts while women are taught full hedonismSeriously. Like, what do these men think? I graduate high school and then get $3,000 per month tax-free from either my parents or the government while I ride the cock carrousel until I find my beta bux in my early thirties? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/21 03:36 PM |
| – | The reason men do worse than women in the dating scene is because there's nothing naturally sexually attractive about the male bodyThere's nothing sexually attractive about the male body? Unless you're a bi-sexual or gay man, a man's body is not going to be sexually attractive to you. If you're straight... well, it's kind of obvious as to why a man's body doesn't nothing for you. Your argument makes no sense unless you're exclusively looking at a market in which men and women are competing against each other for the same romantic partners. No heterosexual woman on dating apps is thinking "Oh, well, none of these men have bi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/21 05:30 AM |
| 3 | Understanding Female Intrasexual CompetitionI've tried it, but it's not for me. I'm looking for a long-term relationship, and online dating isn't conducive to that. Online dating is really more "online meeting." It's impossible to figure out who could possibly be a compatible match based on a few photos and some vague prompts. There's simply not enough information to figure out who's actually got good potential. Plus, why would dating apps be designed in a way to create successful matches? Companies lose their customers and revenue if eve… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/21 05:17 AM |
| 5 | Understanding Female Intrasexual CompetitionThere's a difference between courting a woman and a woman expecting you to compete against another man for her affections. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/21 04:58 AM |
| 3 | Understanding Female Intrasexual CompetitionWhy can't we apply it to men? I know if I'm trying to decide between two men, I'm not truly interested in either. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/21 04:43 AM |
| 8 | Understanding Female Intrasexual CompetitionIf a man expects me to jump through hoops to prove that I'm better for him than another woman, he ain't it. Conversely, if I'm indecisive between two men, I'm not truly interested in either. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/21 04:40 AM |
| 9 | Understanding Female Intrasexual CompetitionYup. I have no interest in competing for a man's attention. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/21 04:30 AM |
| 2 | Are social skills genetic/inherited?There are people who are more genetically gifted in the art of socializing (like extreme extroverts), but a lot of socialization is a result of certain experiences in life. The abilitity to socialize is also a muscle that has to be worked out consistently. Many people here underestimate the need to socialize in a variety of different settings in order to get good at it. My parents (thankfully) pushed me my whole childhood into new, uncomfortable settings where I had to socialize with different p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/21 03:04 AM |
| 2 | Since women hit the wall at 30, dating is not "easier" for themThere's no gap between singles. 31% of men and women are single, but the age ranges are different. There is a nearly 20% gap between young single females and young single males (18-29), which makes me wonder why young men aren't more annoyed at older men who date from their pool. A 30-year-old man dating a 18-year-old woman shouldn't be so funny when you're an 18-year-old man who now can't get that 18-year-old woman. Sex is different because one person could have multiple sex partners. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 09:44 PM |
| – | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadOof. I don't support FWB relationships or casual sex in general, and I would highly caution anyone in such an arrangement to call it off before trying to date or look for something more serious. It adds additional complication to the mix, and I do think people (like the woman in OP's post) end up closing themselves off to real opportunities to connect because of the FWB arrangement. Also, it's incredibly, incredibly tacky for her to bring up another FWB/date/whoever on a first date like that. Ic… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 08:57 PM |
| 2 | Chronic Avoidance of Potential Conflict is an understated part of why modern dating sucksbeing totally honest and transparent It depends entirely on how you communicate that message. The majority of people who claim to a "blunt person who just tells it like it is" are usually just assholes who haven't bothered to learn effective deliver difficult feedback in a way that wasn't rude. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 08:45 PM |
| 6 | Since women hit the wall at 30, dating is not "easier" for themFor every heterosexual woman who's in a successful relationship, there's a heterosexual man in one, too. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 05:56 PM |
| 14 | Since women hit the wall at 30, dating is not "easier" for themThere's a difference between being "in a relationship" and "in a good relationship." Sometimes people just don't find someone they're compatible with until they're older. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 02:58 PM |
| 20 | Since women hit the wall at 30, dating is not "easier" for themA big part of the confusion on this sub seems to be how "dating" is defined. Is it easier for the average woman to get a man to fuck off Tinder any night of the week? Absolutely yes. Is it easier for the average woman to find a compatible, long-term relationship? Probably not especially. Men look at women and say "you have it so easy!" because they want the mass of matches, ease to find dates, sex on speed dial, and more options. Women say "it's not so easy" because they want compatible, long-te… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 02:48 PM |
| 59 | If your man isn't supporting your hobbies, it's time to move him along and replace him with a woodworking shop that does.Most of the time, it isn't even that deep. They just can't be bothered. It takes energy to support someone's hobbies, and a L/NVM doesn't see how your hobbies help him so why bother? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/21 02:33 PM |
| – | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadI agree with that. That argument is usually only used when people are completely against abortion to get them to start thinking differently, though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 02:18 PM |
| 6 | Men, do you value women based on their popularity?This is something that (almost) no grown man would care about. There's a meme about Instagram husbands because most people don't give a shit about their partner's social media. The only times a man would see a large social media following as a good thing is if he were also concerned about his social media following (which the average man isn't) or she were making bank off it (which the average woman isn't). I know a woman making an insane amount between Instagram and OnlyFans so of course her hu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 02:13 PM |
| – | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadThe rape argument comes up to demonstrate abortion isn't always a black-and-white issue. Too many people assume it's all irresponsible 17-year-olds who got knocked up lining up for abortions, but there's a lot of nuanced situations like women who are raped, women who don't want to be mothers, unviable pregnancies, medical issues, etc. I used the rape argument once. A married friend of mine was against abortion, and I asked him "Well, what would you do if your wife got raped and pregnant? Would y… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 02:07 PM |
| – | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadBeing ugly. (Despite answers otherwise.) You would need to wait to have sex, be a catch, and be skilled with your hands and tongue, though. Most women won't ditch a great guy because of a micro penis if he's so dreamy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 02:02 PM |
| 11 | Male sexlessness - an American problem?You're exclusive when you start dating someone. There's no (or extremely limited) multi-dating the way there is in America followed by a big "let's be exclusive" talk when you decide to pick one. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 01:55 PM |
| 4 | Should abortion be a mutual decision?Did you read the post I linked? Some women do have babies, relinquish their rights, and then pay child support. It's a lot to ask someone to go through nine months of pregnancy and a life-threatening birth to have a baby they don't want. Like other other user said, the science isn't there to magically transfer an embryo to a surrogate. Maybe in the future that will be a thing. Also, surrogates cost $90,000 to $130,000 so this isn't even an every man's solution since it's wildly unaffordable for … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 01:52 PM |
| 15 | What Standards that the Opposite Sex has do you Consider Acceptable/ Encouragable?I don't understand why those hobbies are mocked either. It's usually also from people who don't have wildly unique hobbies either. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 01:08 AM |
| 4 | Weekly Community Chat Megathread"Just work on yourself!" is one of my least favorite platitudes for singles. It makes it seem like you can't get a partner if you're not in "better condition" or that you should automatically be gifted a partner when you get fit or a new job or make more money or whatever. When I'm single, the best thing for me to do is just focus on things that make me happy. Do what brings you joy. If that's not dating or working out like a Chad, don't do it. Just focus on finding what you enjoy and doing it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 12:52 AM |
| 13 | Should abortion be a mutual decision?That's what happens... One of the most notorious legaladvice sub posts is a man asking for how to convince his former partner to come do her "duty as a mom," even though she was clear about not wanting to be a parent AND she was paying 125% of court ordered child support. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 12:17 AM |
| 20 | Should abortion be a mutual decision?Yes, we do have technology to implant a woman with an embryo, but it's currently not possible to transfer an embryo from one woman to another. There's currently no way for a pregnant woman to transfer her pregnancy to another woman. Also, a surrogate currently costs an average of $90,000 to $130,000, so this isn't something the vast majority of men could even feasibly consider financially. Is it totally fair that a pregnant woman can decide to get an abortion or not, but a man gets no say? No. I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 12:08 AM |
| 1 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadEveryone needs alone time, even (especially?) if they're in a relationship. No couple can spend 24/7 together. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/21 08:07 PM |
| 9 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadDudes who call women "basic and boring as shit" for their interests usually "basic and boring as shit." You like craft beer, indie video games, and crypto? How unique! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/21 08:00 PM |
| 10 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadThere's a surprising number of people here who seem to think they don't really even need to like spending time with their partner. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/21 05:22 PM |
| 1 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadI don't know how other people categorize their sexual experiences, but mine fall into one of three buckets: incredible, good, and bad. There's no magical stack ranking between partners. I can't tell you "Oh, Brad was better than John." If Brad was generally in the good category and John was generally in the good category, they were both good. Not every time with even the best partner is going to be incredible. You're going to have some good times and possible even some bad times. The goal is avo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/21 04:10 PM |
| 3 | Why women becomes more selective with age.Yeah... there doesn't have to be some big secret theory or hidden meaning for everything. I'm more mature, and I have more experience. When I was a broke college student living with her parents, my bar for the men I was dating was also "broke college student living with parents." I didn't expect them to have stable careers or their own place. A man living in a dorm seemed grown up. I had no idea who I was, and I was compatible with more people because of it. Ten years later, I'm no longer a brok… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/21 03:39 PM |
| 11 | Is there any truth to r/nofap, or porn being harmful?Thank you for posting this. I try to make this point when the anti-porn discussion comes up, and I'm consistently told "people have always had access to porn!!" We haven't "always" had access to porn. There's also a huge difference between sneaking a naughty magazine from under dad's mattress hoping you won't get caught and having unlimited access to hardcore anal scenes when knowing you won't get caught. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/21 12:36 PM |
| 1 | There is no incentive for Kevin Samuels to be telling you the truthThe same can be said for dating apps as well. Why would Tinder or Hinge or Bumble or OK Cupid want you to get into a relationship? They lose out on their ability to make money off you if you leave. The only exception is if you can become a marketing message for the app. Like, "Keith met the most amazing woman on Tinder, and they just had their first baby" kind of marketing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/21 12:27 AM |
| 2 | Unpaid Labor Mega ThreadIf women want a man that does the housework, she needs to select for it over other traits if needed. This is my strategy. I make good money, and I don't need a man to support me financially. What I do need is a man who is willing to help me take on the household management. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/21 10:17 PM |
| 5 | Unpaid Labor Mega ThreadThere's some truth to this. When I (F) lived with my ex (M), I stressed myself out trying to be what I thought would make me the perfect girlfriend and stepmom. I felt this pressure from who knows where to be the happy homemaker (even though I worked full-time...). We contributed equally financially, but I took on over 85% of the household management. Then one day, I hit a wall and just stopped caring. I took a step back and asked myself "What's the worse thing that happens if I stopped doing __… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/21 10:14 PM |
| 7 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadOnce student loans are paid off, there shouldn't be anyone just getting by on $400,000. CNBC posted a budget of a family of four in "an expensive metropolitan area" in October. They only have $3 per month left over (after full 401K contributions, mortgage payments on their $2M home, three weeks of vacations, museum trips, college funds, etc.). It's a little silly. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/21 09:20 PM |
| 1 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadI (F) have quite literally never told my mom anything about my sex life. Since I had a live-in boyfriend for a year, I am sure she knows I'm not a virgin, but I haven't told her anything specifically. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/21 07:53 PM |
| 2 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadHow would I even know that My daughter is "slutty"? My parents know absolutely nothing about my sex life whatsoever. Do your parents know in-depth details about your sex life? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/21 06:49 PM |
| 4 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadI also don't understand where this notion of the past being this magical love place comes from. "High value" and "low value" are just alternate to "suitable for marriage" and "not suitable for marriage." People have always been categorized into one of those. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/21 06:28 PM |
| 9 | Most Legitimately Average Men Don't Have Such A Huge Problem With Having SexThis sub would have you believe all those children are from immaculate conception. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/21 03:48 PM |
| 13 | Most Legitimately Average Men Don't Have Such A Huge Problem With Having SexI pointed out the other day that I was involved in a large number of activities through to the end of college (namely, working retail for 5+ years) that anyone could do to improve their social skills. I wasn't born a social person. I awkwardly asked "Is there anything I could help you find today?" until being social came naturally. There's a huge leap from "I talk to my bros on CoD online" to "I'm comfortable flirting with attractive women," and there are countless ways to close that gap that an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/21 03:48 PM |
| 1 | People are allowed to have ridiculously high standards if they want to, even if it doesn't suit your own tastes.I care when it's someone I know who's constantly complaining to me. If I have to hear Stacy talk about her terrible love life (again), but she refuses to date men shorter than 6'2, it gets pretty tiring... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/21 02:03 PM |
| 25 | Some people seem to regard marriage as the most important day of their life. If it is so important, why isn't the most fundamental part of the tradition important?"White became a popular option in 1840, after the marriage of Queen Victoria to Albert of Saxe-Coburg, when Victoria wore a white gown trimmed with Honiton lace. Illustrations of the wedding were widely published, and many brides opted for white in accordance with the Queen's choice. Later, many people assumed that the color white was intended to symbolize virginity, though this was not the original intention: it was the color blue that was connected to purity, piety, faithfulness, and the Virgi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/21 10:53 PM |
| 7 | Some people seem to regard marriage as the most important day of their life. If it is so important, why isn't the most fundamental part of the tradition important?It's possible to practice some parts of a tradition without fully embracing all parts of that tradition. Most people don't have such black-and-white thinking. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/21 10:50 PM |
| 13 | Some people seem to regard marriage as the most important day of their life. If it is so important, why isn't the most fundamental part of the tradition important?If you're interested in a "pure" bride, I would recommend staying "pure" yourself. There are many women who have similar values as you and see sex as something done exclusively between a man and wife. I have ultra religious friends who didn't even kiss until their engagement, and they didn't sleep together until marriage. It's not the kind of relationship I'm interested in, but that's great if you are. Is virginity really the most important part of marriage, though? The "the most fundamental par… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/21 10:30 PM |
| 2 | FWB's for women is analogous to what porn is for menThe average woman doesn't really do FWB either. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/21 08:32 PM |
| 8 | FWB's for women is analogous to what porn is for menWhy isn't a woman with a FWB akin to a man with a FWB? Your post makes it sound like women can't watch porn or don't masturbate, or men don't have FWBs. I agree with your last paragraph for both genders, though. If someone's in a FWB arrangement or a situationship, there's a little more friction to go out and find something more meaningful (if that's what they want). People like the comfort of the known. It might be a little woo woo for the members of this sub, but I do think people inadvertentl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/21 08:23 PM |
| 149 | People are allowed to have ridiculously high standards if they want to, even if it doesn't suit your own tastes.The only time it's an issue is when someone wants to constantly complain about being unable to find a partner. If you have high standards and are happy being single, great. No one wants to hear you whine about not finding a woman who has graced the covers of Maxim when you're a balding, 40 something with a part-time job at Wendy's, though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/21 08:10 PM |
| 13 | People who have been married and are no longer.... What was the reason for your divorce? Do you take any responsibility in it or was the cause on them?Your first paragraph reflects most of the divorces in my social circle. It was like no one ever stopped to think "Do I want to be married to this person?" and instead just went along with things. Then after the wedding, took a minute and realized "No, I don't want to be married to this person." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/21 08:04 PM |
| 1 | Society acts like men need women more than vice versa but it’s actually the oppositeWell, at the moment. If women disappear, you've got about 100 years before the entire species dies out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/21 12:39 PM |
| 2 | Society acts like men need women more than vice versa but it’s actually the oppositeAnd no babies...? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/21 12:38 PM |
| 25 | Can Chad ever be deserving of a happy ending?A Stacy and a Chad is a good match. They've both had their fun, and now they're ready for commitment. There's no insecurity around "oh, she's slept with more people" or "I didn't get my chance to play around before we met." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/21 11:01 PM |
| 6 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadTell that to the abortion laws in Texas. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/21 10:59 PM |
| 9 | How common are relationships where the person isn't even that much attracted to the person they just want to get away from trauma or escape pain?Most people don't think "I'm going to date Josh because he'll help me get away from my trauma/pain!" Usually in situations like this, the person who is trying to escape their demons will start dating before they've truly ready, and the attitude is "I love being with Josh because I just forget all my problems when I'm with him." Who doesn't like being caught up in the fresh romance of a new relationship? Problems arise, though, when those traumas and pain haven't been addressed then get dragged i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/21 02:51 PM |
| 2 | Ironically, social media warps men's perception of women more than it warps women's perception of men.Social media seems to make most of the woman I know feel bad about themselves. For every woman getting an ego boost from her highly liked post, there's ten women who feel insecure because they don't have whatever the post was about. It could be a new boyfriend, a new job, a new car, a promotion, a beach photo, a wedding... While getting attention on social media can be a high for a woman, scrolling through your feed can be a big dose of reality about where you truly are in life. Last year, in th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/21 02:43 PM |
| 1 | Both: how do you feel about online dating/ what has been your experiences with it?It can be a great tool for meeting people, but it's not a great tool for finding long-term relationships. The term "online dating" is misleading because it's really more like "online meeting people of the opposite sex who are (hopefully) single." Even sites like OKCupid or Match which were designed for more serious relationships have been watered down thanks to the deluge of apps. A big source of frustration comes from the amount of work required to get to the meeting stage, and then 95% of the … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/21 01:59 PM |
| 2 | If you want equality like equal domestic responsibility, then you should want equal financial responsibility in the relationshipThat's the best approach to a relationship. The reason why couples get resentful is because one person clearly isn't putting in the same kind of effort. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/05/21 01:40 PM |
| 4 | If you want equality like equal domestic responsibility, then you should want equal financial responsibility in the relationshipSame. Sign me up for a life of luxury! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/05/21 01:36 PM |
| 1 | QFW: Do you flirt/flirt back with guys you don't find attractive?That's part of the problem. People aren't learning how to effectively socialize, and then they're complaining that they can't talk to women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/05/21 01:22 PM |
| 1 | QFW: Do you flirt/flirt back with guys you don't find attractive?I replied to another commenter that before I graduated college, I worked retail for 5+ years, served at a restaurant for 1 year, and volunteered for 4. Conversation didn't come naturally to me, but I had a ton of practice with strangers in ways anyone could sign up for. Being a great conversationalist wasn't easy for me, but it was something I worked on extensively while growing up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/05/21 04:41 AM |
| 4 | QFW: Do you flirt/flirt back with guys you don't find attractive?I have flirted with men who weren't interested in me. I also spent years working on my social skills before graduating college in ways that any young man is welcome to: Worked store-front retail for 5+ years Served at a restaurant for 1 year Volunteered at an art museum for 4 years Participated in a competitive, co-ed sport for 10 years By the time I graduated college, I had years of socializing outside the classroom with many different groups of people. Thanks to my years working retail, I can … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 04:30 PM |
| 7 | QFW: Do you flirt/flirt back with guys you don't find attractive?It's not a huge leap for someone who's an incredible overall conversationalist to dip his toes into light flirting. The issues arise when a man tries to go from "I only talk to my online CoD bros" to "I am trying to flirt with an attractive woman at the store." If someone's already comfortable talking to different people in person, what's the leap to a woman he finds attractive? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 04:06 PM |
| 0 | [Q4W] how important is it that your man is intelligent or smarter than you? Like , is it ok if he's kind of dumb if his other personality traits are good?No. I've tried this, and it wasn't a good match. I once dated a very sweet but terribly naïve man. He wasn't a total idiot (spoke multiple languages, had a creative job), but he had an innocence and lack of life experience that resulted in him coming off as pretty stupid at times. Great guy, and I hope he finds his person. I just wasn't it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 04:02 PM |
| 6 | QFW: Do you flirt/flirt back with guys you don't find attractive?I do not flirt with men I'm not attractive to. I'm a friendly and polite woman, though, and that's mistaken for flirting enough as it is. No one needs to "learn" to flirt. Men (and women) should learn how to be good conversationalists and effective communicators. Learn to talk to, and hold a conversation with, anyone. If you're highly comfortable talking with other people, it shouldn't be too difficult to transition into a bit of light, flirty chatter. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 03:54 PM |
| 1 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadI once worked with a woman who smelled bad. Not obese or unhygienic. It seemed like her body odor, perfume, and other products just didn't mesh together well. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/05/21 09:28 PM |
| 1 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadJust rip the Band-Aid off! Break ups suck whenever they happen. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/05/21 09:26 PM |
| 2 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadNeither "is just a number." That doesn't mean they have equal impact on a relationship, though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/05/21 09:21 PM |
| 3 | The uncomfortable truth in the dating realm: women have to be, men have to become.I don't hate men at all. I love them. They do, however, need to be realistic about how they're not all aging like fine wine simply because they're male. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/05/21 04:28 PM |
| 4 | The uncomfortable truth in the dating realm: women have to be, men have to become.As a woman who makes over $150,000, excuse me for not being wildly impressed by a $60,000 salary. The man I am currently dating makes around that, and I have no problems with it. I'm obviously not dating him for his money, though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/05/21 12:54 AM |
| 1 | Men will continue to suffer in silence as long as women prioritize confidence over emotional opennessTherapy isn't a magic solution, but it's one tool of many that can be used for self improvement. I listed other tools (books, AA, friends) that can also be helpful for support and personal growth. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 11:24 PM |
| 38 | The uncomfortable truth in the dating realm: women have to be, men have to become.Men here act like your average Joe is starting his career as a plumber and ending his career Elon Musk. Your average Joe is starting his career as a plumber and ending his career as a plumber with male pattern balding. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 10:57 PM |
| 6 | Single moms are worthless to high value males. Change my mind?Sure, it isn't as biologically repulsive, but a lot of women don't want to take on the obligations and responsibilities of being Stepmommy. I did it once, and I wouldn't do it again. I'd rather be single. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 10:55 PM |
| 9 | Single moms are worthless to high value males. Change my mind?Women want partners who can prioritize them and are available. They don't want to deal with exes or help raise kids that aren't theirs. That's pretty standard across the board. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 10:49 PM |
| 15 | Single moms are worthless to high value males. Change my mind?Single dads are worthless to high value females. Change my mind? These men couldn’t make it work with the partners they selected. Why would I pick up the pieces and clean his mess? They typically are tired from raising kids. Not as adventurous and active. They usually come with an ex that has to be dealt with for life. They typically are over 30, and have hit the wall compared to single twenty somethings. It’s downhill from here for them. They typically play the victim role and don’t own their c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 10:32 PM |
| 1 | Weekly Community Chat Megathread"I Love a Mama's Boy." It's next level. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 10:26 PM |
| 2 | Men will continue to suffer in silence as long as women prioritize confidence over emotional opennessWhat I've seen time and time again is men open up to women then expect them to be their only source of support, regardless of how difficult their problem is. It's not that women don't want to be supportive or helpful. It's that we cannot carry the entire weight of a man's problems, especially if he refuses to get needed help elsewhere. When I have a problem, I reach out to friends. I get therapy. I read books. I try to solve my problems. Even when I'm in a relationship. Many men simply expect th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 09:30 PM |
| 2 | Don’t expect to have women attracted to you when you have no aspirations or nothing going on in your life.Yeah... I don't know why it's so unreasonable to expect a partner to be interested in something or passionate about something or knowledgeable about something when I wouldn't even consider staying friends with someone like that. All of my friends, male and female, have successful careers and hobbies. Why would I not also expect to find a partner like that? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 08:24 PM |
| 5 | What are your standards for your own "side?"The standards I have for the men I date are all standards I meet myself. My friends (both genders) also generally meet the same standards I would expect from a partner, just minus the sexual attraction element. I wouldn't say "oh, it's OK that a woman doesn't have a job, but a man has to." I might be a little more forgiving of a friend than a partner, though, because their actions are less likely to impact me. You're a culmination of the six people you spend the most time with so always choose t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 05:37 PM |
| 9 | Where are these men with the terrible personalities that women talk about ?I'll be sure to make the next one wait for six months to have sex in order to better assess his personality before touching his PP. That's the way to do it, right...? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 05:06 PM |
| 3 | Where are these men with the terrible personalities that women talk about ?As I mentioned previously, it took 2-3 months of constant texting and seeing each other to discover that. Sometimes people don't put all their cards on the table on the first couple of dates. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 04:41 PM |
| 12 | Where are these men with the terrible personalities that women talk about ?I'd prefer to not associate with people who are racist. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 03:43 PM |
| 0 | Can we take a second to think just how crazy sexual attraction is?Why is it complicated to understand people are attracted to different things? I hate olives but other people love them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 03:09 PM |
| 3 | Can we take a second to think just how crazy sexual attraction is?I'm a woman, and I find other women attractive. I do not find the idea of eating another woman out remotely attractive, though. That's how I know I'm straight. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 02:54 PM |
| 13 | LVM making his partner pay for everything, while he uses his full income for himself onlyThis is spot on. Men complain that they can't be emotional or weak around women. That the second they're vulnerable, women will leave. That's not it at all. It's usually situations like this where the man refuses to get the help and support he so desperately needs. The woman will try to be supportive but will hit a breaking point when those efforts are in vain as he continues to do everything but what he actually needs to do. Something similar happened with my ex. I was happy to support him, but… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/05/21 02:22 PM |
| 21 | Where are these men with the terrible personalities that women talk about ?Sometimes the personality issues are a bit more subtle than something you would notice in a casual conversation with someone. For example, I dated one man last year who was great on paper (seriously perfect), but when I got to know him better, he turned out to be a bit too immature for our age and started to come off as a little racist. This wasn't until 2-3 months of constant texting and seeing each other at least once a week that I started to realize that. Unless you were a close friend of his… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 02:05 PM |
| 1 | Opinions on Couples Therapy? True or Phony?The problem with therapy is that it's usually used like a bucket to save a sinking boat. People don't seek out a couples therapist until something drastic has happened like cheating, death of a child, addiction, etc. Then when the therapist can't magically solve this gigantic problem, it's "therapy doesn't work." For couples therapy to be truly effective, it should be one tool used to help strengthen an already fairly stable couple. If couples got help to course correct along the way and to lear… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 01:51 PM |
| 3 | People complain about unequal income by gender because they don't take into account unequal childcare.And the safest way nowadays for man and women is to put 50% in everything. You will be safer in divorce, will be safer with accusations... and if the person is not putting 50% you bounce. I agree. Men who want to marry the pretty barista over the stable attorney know what they're getting into. It's not rocket science that she's going to get alimony. If a man doesn't want to shell out after a divorce, pick a woman for more than her beauty. Start caring about careers. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 01:45 PM |
| 3 | People complain about unequal income by gender because they don't take into account unequal childcare.They don’t seem they want to pay for it before the divorce, either. There's also a gross amount of men who take the "it's my money" approach in a marriage. If you go through some other subs, you'll see plenty of SAHMs asking how to approach their husband about buying a new pair of shoes or a jacket because he makes the money so he controls it all. I even saw one post the other day about a pregnant woman who was saving up so she could contribute 50/50 financially after she gave birth and was stay… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 01:43 PM |
| 3 | People complain about unequal income by gender because they don't take into account unequal childcare.I agree that individuals in a couple should play off their strengths and preferences, but there's a lot of men who see that as an excuse to shrug childcare and home management onto their partners. My ex and I worked similar hours and contributed equally financially, but I did over 85% of the household work because "he wasn't good at that stuff." Needless to say, I didn't live with him long before I kicked him out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 01:39 PM |
| 1 | New South Wales, Australia adopts affirmative consent lawsWell, for starters, I don't sleep with women, and I don't sleep with people outside of relationships. While I could still be accused of rape by a man I'm dating, it's a much lower chance than by a random man plucked from a bar. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 01:36 PM |
| 5 | What would happen to society if everyone had to wear a below knee dresses?A lot of men would flash their junk. Easy access, you know. Calling it now. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 01:18 AM |
| 1 | New South Wales, Australia adopts affirmative consent lawsLike I said, I personally only want to sleep with people who are enthusiastically interested in sleeping with me and who are fully capable of consenting to the activity. This has never been an issue for me, and I have always been open with asking "Can I do X?" or "Do you want to do Y?" I'm not going to sit on a man's face or stick my thumb up his ass without some sort of consent. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/21 08:20 PM |
| 2 | New South Wales, Australia adopts affirmative consent lawsThe goal is to encourage people to ask and speak up. I've personally never been in a situation where I've had a completely silent sexual experience, and by PPD standards, I'm basically a floozy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/21 08:07 PM |
| 74 | CMV: “Being an emotional tampon” is inherent to true friendship.The hard part (for both genders) is learning your boundaries to avoid being "an emotional tampon." This isn't exclusive to men or women, and anyone can easily fall into the trap of being taken advantage of by someone, especially if they're in a difficult position. It can be really easy to get caught up in trying to "be a good, supportive friend" without taking a step back and thinking "huh, so, what reciprocation am I getting out of this dynamic?" Friendship requires give-and-take, and there are… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/21 08:04 PM |
| 6 | How Important Is Sex In A Relationship, Actually?I'm a woman who doesn't watch porn so that's not really relevant to me... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/21 07:55 PM |
| 17 | New South Wales, Australia adopts affirmative consent lawsI personally only want to sleep with people who are enthusiastically interested in sleeping with me and who are fully capable of consenting to the activity. This law is a step in the right direction. It will likely still be difficult for rape victims to seek proper justice in many cases, but this kind of legislation encourages healthier conversations about consent overall. The culture shift from "no means no" to "yes means yes" is important. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/21 06:52 PM |
| 2 | How do BP/RP/PP women and men feel about who pays on dates in the pre-relationship phase? How does that decision impact you?This sums up my thoughts, too. No man is going to ask a woman he's genuinely excited about out then say "hey, so, split the bill?" at the end of dinner. To me, I could care less about a "free" $30 dinner at whatever restaurant. It's the gesture of him signifying that he is interested and invested in getting to know me. If a man wants me to split the bill, it's because he's rather indifferent towards me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/21 06:20 PM |
| 4 | How Important Is Sex In A Relationship, Actually?A man I know was in a relationship with a woman who suddenly re-discovered her love of the Church and decided to become a born again virgin. I appreciated that he stuck around for a while, but that's not a situation I'd be sticking around for. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/21 06:09 PM |
| 32 | How Important Is Sex In A Relationship, Actually?When sex is good in a relationship, it's about 5% of what makes a couple. When sex is bad in a relationship, it's about 95% of what makes a couple. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/21 06:07 PM |
| 2 | MGTOW and Red Pill should only be followed by men who have totally failed at the dating market.I completely agree. From day one, we're sold the "find someone, get married, live happily ever after" narrative. No one is encouraged to take a step back and ask "what do I really want out of life?" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 07:32 PM |
| 2 | MGTOW and Red Pill should only be followed by men who have totally failed at the dating market.Which you cannot prove Sure, I can't determine if the childless couple down the road is childless by choice or if they suffered through years of unsuccessfully trying. However, two of my best friends (both F) are staunchly childfree by choice, and they're two of the happiest people I know. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 06:56 PM |
| 36 | Men like this will go on impregnating women until they get a boy; if you know any man who expresses this, it should be posted publicly so any women getting involved can find out beforehand and stay the fuck awayWho does this clown think he is? Henry VIII? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/05/21 06:45 PM |
| 8 | MGTOW and Red Pill should only be followed by men who have totally failed at the dating market.There are many, many people who are childfree by choice and have found meaning in their lives outside of reproduction. Having children is one way to be fulfilled, not the only way. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 06:42 PM |
| 9 | MGTOW and Red Pill should only be followed by men who have totally failed at the dating market.While women have been going their own way for decades, there's still a lot of unnecessary pressure on both genders to find love, get married, have kids, etc. The narrative of "you need someone to complete you" is still forced onto kids, teens, and young adults way more than "it's a perfectly great life choice to stay single." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 06:21 PM |
| 38 | MGTOW and Red Pill should only be followed by men who have totally failed at the dating market.Misogyny and anti-feminism aside, I think everyone should adopt a more "going their own way" mindset. Not just frustrated men in the mid-forties. We'd all be a lot happier if we approached life by trying to find happiness on our own and fitting a partner in if that happens to be in the cards. Being single and finding contentment in it should be normalized for both genders. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 04:53 PM |
| 1 | Unpaid Labor Mega ThreadHow often do you think two people really care about how a chore is done to the point of fighting over it? Have you ever lived with someone? I generally couldn't care about how half the shit is done, just that it's done to a good standard. Whoever has the higher standards should be accommodated. If both methods of the task are equally organized, clean, and hygienic, then whoever does it should get priority. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 04:25 PM |
| 2 | You can't extrapolate average male attractiveness from dating websiteI'm in a relationship now, but I was looking for a good man. This might surprise you, but most people on dating apps were doctors and engineers. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 04:17 PM |
| 1 | Unpaid Labor Mega ThreadDo you really think most couples are going to have strong opinions over chores? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 12:37 PM |
| 2 | "I'm single, 31 and I've quit dating apps for good" - female written articleThis has been discussed here seemingly endlessly. Basic, initial attraction isn't very complex or sophisticated for either gender. What's complex or sophisticated for both genders is long-term compatibility. Neither the few messages on OLD or meeting at a bar really gives anyone the opportunity to determine if there's potential for something more there. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 12:04 PM |
| 1 | Unpaid Labor Mega ThreadWhy would it? It should be as simple as "I prefer the towels are folded like this" and for the other person to say "OK. I can do that." It's chores, not rocket science. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 11:30 AM |
| 8 | You can't extrapolate average male attractiveness from dating websiteIf you can't put a bare minimum amount of effort into setting up a profile, it makes me feel like you won't put a bare minimum amount of effort into other aspects of dating. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 10:25 AM |
| 1 | Unpaid Labor Mega ThreadNothing makes that person right, but if the person I cared about said "hey, it's important to me that X gets done Y way," I would do my best to do X in Y way. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 10:20 AM |
| 5 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadWhen we first started dating, my ex seemed to be quite clean. The house he was living in (with roommates) was relatively tidy, and he seemed to prioritize chores every week. His place wasn't show home spotless (mine isn't either), but there were no red flags that he wasn't clean or anything. All signs pointed to "he can take care of a home and will be a tidy roommate." Fast forward to us moving in, and I was taking on 85%+ of the household work (while finances were 50/50). It was a huge source o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/21 08:55 PM |
| 1 | Is height THE silver bullet?Height isn't the silver bullet, but it certainly helps with attraction. Some women really do swipe left on men under 6'0 regardless of what else is in their profile. It's unfair, but it is what it is. There's no world in which a man gets an automatic pass to be a cave troll because he's over 6'2, though. Most women would (and should) much rather date a successful, well-dressed 5'11 man over a 6'2 man child. Men who are tall just get a little more leeway and might be seem as more attractive due t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/21 03:22 PM |
| 11 | Unpaid Labor Mega ThreadA bigger source of tension isn't the 50-50 split. It's the expectation some men have that their wives have to clean up after them constantly. Some men think they are completely absolved of any household participating, even cleaning up after making a solo midnight snack. It's not hard to put your dishes in the dishwasher or bring your beer bottles to the recycling bin. When someone expects you to do that stuff for them day after day, you feel more like a maid than a partner. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/21 02:35 PM |
| 4 | Unpaid Labor Mega ThreadThis is what I remember from my childhood, too. My mom worked part-time, and my day was the full-time breadwinner. He still did a lot of chores in the evenings and weekends. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/21 02:29 PM |
| 4 | Unpaid Labor Mega Threadfeel the most relief once she splits After a few days off sadness, relief is all I felt after my ex-boyfriend moved out. A big reason for this was due to household management and his lack of participation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/21 02:26 PM |
| 3 | Unpaid Labor Mega ThreadHow often is this a result of “you don’t do that [chore] properly!” Do ya think? It should only take a man once to learn how his partner prefers a chore to be done. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/21 02:23 PM |
| 1 | Are beauty pageants sexist or empowering?Depends on the beauty pageant. Do I think child beauty pageants are bad? Yes. Let's not force five-year-old girls to wear full makeup and prance around on stage. Do I think Mrs. International, a beauty pageant for married women, is bad? Not especially. If a grown woman wants to do that as her hobby, go ahead. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/21 08:13 PM |
| 1 | When it comes to "be yourself," both pills are right."Just be yourself" needs to come with a giant asterisk. Unattractive, unsuccessful people can be themselves, but they need to recognize that limits their dating pool and opportunities. If your attire is entirely oversized anime bowling shirts and your only hobby is playing video games, there's a woman out there for you. She is not going to be the 9+ Instagram model of your dreams, though. There's a much smaller addressable audience for you, and you need to be realistic about who's actually going… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/21 02:36 PM |
| 54 | Why do so many liberal feminist women discourage so many under 30 women from getting married and having kids in their 20s ?I felt bad in my early twenties when all my friends seemed to be getting married. I felt significantly less bad in my late twenties when all those friends seemed to be getting divorced. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/21 01:07 AM |
| 2 | CMV: If you believe it's fine that dating is not fair for men, you have to apply that to women toothen you see their profile and they don’t put any effort into it then complain they don’t get matches Thank you for calling this out. When I was online dating, there were very few profiles that I considered quality. Not "Oh, he's hot," but simply "hey, he has well-chosen photos and actually engaging information in his bio." There were countless profiles where dudes simply slapped whatever up there. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/21 01:34 PM |
| 1 | Having sex is a mutual benefit for the man and the woman, not just for the man.Thanks, bud. Hope it was good. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/21 03:00 AM |
| 7 | Having sex is a mutual benefit for the man and the woman, not just for the man.Men don't constantly talk about orgasms, but they seem to be pretty focused on sex, an act which results in them orgasming 95% of the time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 11:15 PM |
| 4 | Having sex is a mutual benefit for the man and the woman, not just for the man.And men don't? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 11:09 PM |
| 2 | Having sex is a mutual benefit for the man and the woman, not just for the man.The more orgasms people have the better. Orgasms for all men and women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 10:38 PM |
| 7 | Discussion: Nazi collaborators and survivalIt's really easy to say "I would rather die" when you're not in that kind of situation. Not saying you ultimately wouldn't still make that decision in the end, but it's hard to truly understand that kind of life or death situation under you're in it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 10:29 PM |
| 5 | Women who have kids with men they have no intention of marrying should be (lightly) shamed.All I'm saying is that it's unreasonable to say "women are 100% able to make the decision to abort or not" when many women in America don't have easy, safe access to abortions. Some sympathy for women in that situation and support for the right to choose would be helpful. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 09:48 PM |
| 4 | Women who have kids with men they have no intention of marrying should be (lightly) shamed.It would simply be easier for everyone if all women in America had access to safe, affordable abortions, though, eh? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 09:43 PM |
| 0 | Women who have kids with men they have no intention of marrying should be (lightly) shamed.I personally don't think shaming people like that does any good. We're not solving the problem by shaming women who are already single mothers. Let's try to solve the root problems to prevent it from happening to future women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 09:42 PM |
| 24 | Discussion: Nazi collaborators and survivalThere are very few instances where I will blame someone for doing what they absolutely had to do to survive in such a horrific, dark situation. This isn't women making money on OnlyFans when there's waitressing jobs available two streets over. This is women doing whatever they can to live in the face of death who are worried for their lives every single day. It's terrible for someone to have to be in that position to begin with. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 09:40 PM |
| 6 | Women who have kids with men they have no intention of marrying should be (lightly) shamed.I didn't get my first car until I was 21. Many people rely on public transport, and if the closest abortion clinic is the next state over, it's not exactly an easy place to get to. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 09:38 PM |
| 6 | Women who have kids with men they have no intention of marrying should be (lightly) shamed.What if she thinks she might risk her job if she takes 2-3 days off for an abortion? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 09:33 PM |
| 3 | Women who have kids with men they have no intention of marrying should be (lightly) shamed.I agree the logical choice is an abortion for an unwanted child, but once you start adding barriers to access, it's just easier to take the path of least resistance at that moment in time (even if it makes everything way harder down the road). I appreciate that you are willing to help women pay for abortions, and I hope you also support safe access to them for all women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 09:32 PM |
| 7 | Women who have kids with men they have no intention of marrying should be (lightly) shamed.The day after pill assumes she knows she was at risk of pregnancy. Many women do not. Abortion assumes access to safe abortions. Many women do not have that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 09:27 PM |
| 4 | Women who have kids with men they have no intention of marrying should be (lightly) shamed.Sure, she can adopt. Without safe, accessible abortions, though, your "Because only a woman can decide whether to bring a life to this planet." doesn't apply. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 09:24 PM |
| 11 | Women who have kids with men they have no intention of marrying should be (lightly) shamed.She needs access to transportation. She needs to be able to take a day off work. She needs the money for the procedure. She needs to be in the specific window for legal abortions. That doesn't quite sound like that's solely in control of what happens from there then, is it? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 09:23 PM |
| 6 | Women who have kids with men they have no intention of marrying should be (lightly) shamed.Let's say I'm a 20 year old low income worker who barely makes rent payments and risks losing her job if I miss more than a day. I know it will cost me money I don't have and possibly my job if I take three days to travel to the next state and back. Of course having a baby is much more difficult and expensive in the long term, but when safe abortion access is both time consuming and costly, it's easier said than done to just "go to the next state." That's why abortion access is a class issue. I'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 09:19 PM |
| 11 | Women who have kids with men they have no intention of marrying should be (lightly) shamed.Tell that to the abortion laws in Texas. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 09:11 PM |
| 9 | Women who have kids with men they have no intention of marrying should be (lightly) shamed.Because only a woman can decide whether to bring a life to this planet. Tell that to the abortion laws in Texas. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 09:10 PM |
| 5 | Having sex is a mutual benefit for the man and the woman, not just for the man.The risks aren't worth it to me for casual sex regardless. Happy to fuck lots in a relationship, though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 09:09 PM |
| 1 | Women who have kids with men they have no intention of marrying should be (lightly) shamed.Let's focus our energy on the root of the problem then to help prevent future unwanted pregnancies. Shaming people who are already in situations they can't control doesn't do any good. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 09:06 PM |
| 2 | Dads dont want their daughters to be housewives/submissive womenTo clarify, this wasn't like some repressed village with no internet access where women had to wear floor length dresses. This was a pretty standard rural church community in North America. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 08:55 PM |
| 5 | Having sex is a mutual benefit for the man and the woman, not just for the man.I personally do not like casual sex, and I can't speak for other women. It's not worth the risks to me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 08:53 PM |
| 34 | Women who have kids with men they have no intention of marrying should be (lightly) shamed.Men who have kids with women they have no intention of marrying should be (lightly) shamed. It takes two to tango, buddy. Why are you putting all the blame on the women for getting pregnant? It's the responsibility of both parties to practice safe sex and take precautions if a baby isn't a desired result of sex. High school girls don't just magically get pregnant on their own. Also, why do you think most of them are struggling? A U.S. Census report estimates that just 43.5 percent of custodial p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 08:51 PM |
| 7 | Dads dont want their daughters to be housewives/submissive womenI briefly dated a man who came from a highly religious, small town Christian family (which is ultimately why we broke up). Your experience doesn't align with their culture at all. All the women in their community were expected to get married young (like 18-20 young) to become stay at home moms. I attended a wedding for two 18-year-olds who got engaged at their high school graduation, and everyone acted like it was totally normal. None of them went to college. There was no expectation that women … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 08:45 PM |
| 6 | Having sex is a mutual benefit for the man and the woman, not just for the man.In relationships, your experiences are more common. When it comes to casual sex situations, men aren't as invested in getting women off. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 08:31 PM |
| 10 | Having sex is a mutual benefit for the man and the woman, not just for the man.You've got to ask "Is this man really worth messing up my vaginal pH balance for?" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 08:25 PM |
| 15 | Having sex is a mutual benefit for the man and the woman, not just for the man.That's my opinion, even as a woman who wants kids. Do I want to risk getting an STI or pregnant as a result of casual sex? I'd rather spend the night with my vibrator who is guaranteed to get me off and comes with zero risks. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 08:25 PM |
| 2 | Having sex is a mutual benefit for the man and the woman, not just for the man.Probably not, but that's why I don't have casual sex. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 08:23 PM |
| 5 | Having sex is a mutual benefit for the man and the woman, not just for the man.Let's say I was into casual sex. I meet a hot guy at a bar, and we go home together. I'm feeling great. We have sex. He orgasms then proceeds to roll over. He doesn't care about my pleasure because I'm just a random stranger. Why does he need to waste his time trying to get me off? I'm not satisfied and don't feel so great. In a relationship, I don't care so much about who orgasms and when because I know we both want to satisfy the other overall. I gave the man I'm dating a mid-afternoon BJ the … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 08:22 PM |
| 16 | Having sex is a mutual benefit for the man and the woman, not just for the man.According to that stat, yes. This one says it's less than 30%. This one says almost 20%. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 08:17 PM |
| 7 | Having sex is a mutual benefit for the man and the woman, not just for the man.I personally don't know every woman, and therefore I can't comment on why the specific women you've slept refuse fingering and oral. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 08:15 PM |
| 51 | Having sex is a mutual benefit for the man and the woman, not just for the man.Yes, sex can be a mutual benefit for the man and the woman. However, women often don't orgasm from PIV sex alone. I do not. When I'm in a relationship, I love having sex, and my partners tend to make sure I orgasm regularly through other means. Both of us prioritize pleasuring the other. It's a mutually beneficial experience. I have no interest in casual sex because I have no interest in risking STIs, pregnancy, etc. for an experience in which the man has a 95%+ change of orgasming, and I know i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 06:01 PM |
| 1 | If men get better with age, why would they lie about it?She immediately ended things and never talked to him again. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 03:28 PM |
| 2 | If men get better with age, why would they lie about it?Like I told someone else, I had both a makeup-less photo and a full-length photo of me in a skin tight cycling kit on my dating profile so I don't have patience for people who are purposefully deceitful. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 03:28 PM |
| 1 | If men get better with age, why would they lie about it?Not the person you asked, but this happened to a friend of mine. She was 22 at the time. He told her he was 32, but he was actually 40. She didn't find out until they had been dating for five months. Turns out, he was really insecure about aging and had multiple procedures (nose job, Botox, etc.) to alter his appearance to look younger. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 03:13 PM |
| 2 | If men get better with age, why would they lie about it?Shacked up with a 6'3 Chad now so I'm not complaining. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 02:56 PM |
| 4 | If men get better with age, why would they lie about it?He's not wearing a dress shirt on a first date when he's usually more of a jeans and tees guy. He's lying about his age in order to match with women who don't want to date men his age. As someone who tries to be as open and honest as possible in dating, I have very little patience for people who go out of their way to purposefully be deceitful. For example, when I was online dating, I had both a makeup-less photo and a full body shot of me in a skin-tight cycling kit in addition to the standard … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 02:46 PM |
| 20 | If men get better with age, why would they lie about it?Tale as old a time. Men know that age is a deal breaker for women. Therefore, like the gentlemen here, they lie about their age to get in the door. On dating apps, they know most women in their early 20's have age preferences maxing at 27-29 so they lie about their age to match with them. They don't want to date women their own age. They want to date women your age. The assumption is that you'll fall madly in love with them, and then suddenly "age is just a number." It's sleazy. Anyone who does … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 02:05 PM |
| 2 | If you're an independent career woman who is very financially successful would you be interested at all in a younger intelligent man with a normal job who would be willing to support you in your career and take responsibility of the domestic chores? Or do you still expect an older career man?Younger, no. I'd prefer to date within my own age range. I'd prefer to date someone intelligent with a normal job who can support me more with my career, though. From a practical standpoint, look at it like this: I own my own house. I'm well on my way to retiring early. I am wealthy. Money isn't a concern of mine. I don't need a man to buy me things or provide a certain lifestyle. What are concerns of mine? Getting off a Zoom call at 5:30 after a day off Zoom calls and having to figure out what … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 02:01 PM |
| – | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.Ah, yes. Typical. "Women are all HyPeRgAmOuS." Woman makes more than boyfriend. "Shouldn't your boyfriend be making more?" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 01:41 PM |
| – | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.Who said anything about making things equal? I'm personally not interested in a relationship that's not equal. It won't be equal all day, every day, but at the end of the day, I want it to be more-or-less an equal give-and-take. If that's not something a man is into, we're simply not compatible. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 01:40 PM |
| 4 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadMen slay in retirement homes. Y'all just have to wait another few decades... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 09:32 PM |
| 4 | What Are Your Most Preferred Occupations For Your Partner- And Why ?Yes and no. SAHMs usually aren't experts in early childhood education. Kids who are at home all day also don't always learn effective social skills. A part-time, high end Montessori is definitely a big bonus to help kids learn and develop. There's definitely huge benefits to having a parent at home, but it's not like daycare messes kids up for good. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 08:51 PM |
| 1 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadIt has some validity, and it's helped me in past relationships. For example, my last boyfriend's love language was words of affirmation. That shit does nothing for me personally. I had to learn to express a lot of good things, and I also had to learn that negative words impacted him more than me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 08:46 PM |
| 3 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadI looked into this recently since I was concerned about it. The good news is it's a lot more complicated than "the house's value increased by $100,000 so I have to give him/her $50,000." The bad news is that it's complicated. There's definitely some ways to protect yourself, though. For example, if you have a house and then get married, track what your partner invests into the house both mortgage and renovations. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 08:41 PM |
| 2 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadThere's some pretty good information in this article about maternal mortality in the US. The summary is we have an undersupply of maternity care providers, especially midwives, and lack a comprehensive postpartum support compared to other developed countries. It's also important to keep in mind this includes deaths during pregnancy, delivery, and any related complications for one year after. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 08:37 PM |
| 3 | Each sex misunderstanding the other doesn't make a difference as long as the desired outcomes are obtained.Therapy and self help are tools to help you understand... yourself. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 06:58 PM |
| 2 | Each sex misunderstanding the other doesn't make a difference as long as the desired outcomes are obtained.Imagining doesn't mean fully understanding. I can imagine what my cat's life is like (seriously great), but I can't truly understand it because well, I'm not a cat. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 06:25 PM |
| 2 | Each sex misunderstanding the other doesn't make a difference as long as the desired outcomes are obtained.I don't think it's truly possible to understand the other gender. No man could ever entirely understand what a woman's experience is like, and no woman could ever really understand what a man's experience is like. The small exception to this rule is transgender people who may experience both male and female adult experiences, but they don't truly understand what it's like to be raised as both genders. I do think it's important to empathize with certain gendered experiences, especially if you wan… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 05:24 PM |
| 2 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.Someone has to take care of the kids, too. There's also errands, doctor's appointments, vet visits, etc. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 04:58 PM |
| 2 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.If it's so easy, then men should be more than willing to contribute their fair share to the household. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 02:39 PM |
| 8 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.Let's say you're right: it takes one day to clean the house (eight hours) and then two hours every other day. That's 14 hours a week. Do you want to spend 14 hours a week doing chores and cooking on top of a full-time job while your husband watches Fortnite videos? I certainly don't. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 02:20 PM |
| 8 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.I personally don't agree that someone needs to be doing all the housework simply because they earn less. I wouldn't be interested in a relationship in which that was the expectation. If someone makes less money, I can presume they have a less stressful job, though, and they may take on additional chores when the higher earning partner is busier at work. I'd also assume they'd be the partner who does things like stay home when the kids are sick. They shouldn't do everything, though. My (F) partne… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 02:18 PM |
| 1 | Good taste in men is harder to find than good taste in womenThe other simply acted like Mr. Perfect until we moved in together. It started with "I want to sweep you off your feet" and ended with "How am I possibly supposed to know the sheets need to be washed each week?" He also turned out to be a liar so that didn't help either. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 02:10 PM |
| 1 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.I agree that there is more technology, but the expectations for cleanliness are also much higher. People weren't frantically lysoling a hundred years ago. Additionally, the average house size has grown from 1000 sq. feet in 1900 to over 1,600 sq. feet in 2021. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 02:08 PM |
| 1 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.Thank you! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 02:05 PM |
| 7 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.OP asked what I'd need to agreed to that sort of arrangement. That's the kind of money I make at my day job. If someone expects me to put in an extra two hours per day cooking and cleaning, then yes, I expect that sort of financial deal. My time is valuable, and I'd rather be doing than scrubbing toilets. Of course I don't expect that sort of thing. I want a partner who is equal in finances and household management. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 03:29 AM |
| 3 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.She certainly might be. I'm not that woman, though, so this wouldn't apply to me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 03:18 AM |
| 2 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.Why is this rich? Based on how much I make at my full-time job, $55K is a reasonable number for two hours of work per day. My time is extremely valuable. If I'm expected to add an additional two hours of work to my day on top off my job, that's what I'd need. As I said, I'm simply just not compatible with someone who expects me to take on all of the household management, though. I must not have communicated my expectations properly. I have absolutely zero expectations that my partner takes on al… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 03:00 AM |
| 8 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.Based on that alone, he might not be sexist (there's not enough information to tell), but he's probably an asshole. I would recommend he does some introspective work to determine why it's so important to him that his wife takes care of all the household management and why he couldn't possibly contribute. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 02:33 AM |
| 6 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.Let's be honest: this whole thread is ridiculous. There are very few instances in which either partner should be doing all the cooking or cleaning, even if someone says their love language is "acts of service." I'm simply not compatible with someone who expects me to do all the household management, and that's OK. If someone really wants a woman to cook and clean, we're just not a good match. There are other women who want more traditional relationships, and someone would be much happier with th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 02:12 AM |
| 0 | Do you think beauty is subjective or objective?It's generally objective at a high level and subjective on a more person-by-person basis. Society or culture dictates who is attractive, but individuals all have specific preferences within those larger buckets. As a very simple example, two women might both be considered attracted, but someone might find one more attractive than the other because he personally prefers blondes over brunettes. There's exceptions to the rule, but I've found this to largely be true. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 02:06 AM |
| 3 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.Well, neither is me doing absolutely all of the household chores and cooking. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 01:59 AM |
| 2 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.Work smarter, not harder. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 01:54 AM |
| 9 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.If he wants me to clean the entire house out of love by myself and has no plans to help, we're simply not compatible. I'm not interested in being someone's maid, and there are other things I'd rather do with my time. Again, that is very, very different than a man who says "Hey, my love language is acts of service, and it really means a lot when you do a few more things around the house when I'm stressed with my big quarterly reports at work." That's more like a woman who says "Hey, my love langu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 01:52 AM |
| 9 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.Thank you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 01:47 AM |
| 3 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.I hope they're well used in your household. I also recently bought mixing bowls and tongs (but not at Target), and they're a welcome addition to my kitchen. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 12:25 AM |
| 10 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.If he wants me to cook and clean, say, two hours a day, that means I expect him to pay me a minimum of $150 per day ($55K per year) cash from his own personal spending money (not our joint money, his money for "fun things"), which is based on how much I currently make. For that price, I guarantee the house would be spotless, and meals would always be made. (I'd also be hiring cleaning staff and takeout to make that happen with the money he paid me.) I don't know any men who could afford such an … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 12:22 AM |
| 3 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.I have a landscaping service so... Any man I date has got to be willing to cook, clean, and contribute an equal share to household management. If that's not something you (or anyone else) is interested in, I'm simply not compatible with him. That's totally OK. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 12:17 AM |
| 8 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.I'm not interested in a relationship in which I'm paying half the bills plus taking on the bulk of the household management. Most women agree with me. My last boyfriend expected that of me, and it wasn't sustainable. I have no issues paying my fair share, but you need to be doing your fair share around the house, too. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/21 12:00 AM |
| 2 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.Oh, 100%. Yes. "Acts of service" is also not "cooking and cleaning." It's doing things that makes the other person's life easier. That could be cooking and cleaning, but it's also things like filling the tank with gas, making tea in the morning, picking something up at the store, taking the trash out, planning the next vacation, ordering school supplies, etc. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/21 11:46 PM |
| 26 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.Couples need to do what work for them, period. If that means Mr. is working 50 hours a week as the household's only earner while Mrs. is a homemaker who does all the cooking and chores, fine. Not my thing, but whatever makes them happy. Men can want whatever they want. I don't have any problems with men wanting something. I have issues with them expecting something from their partner without a conversation, especially when their partner has wants and feelings of their own. A man wanting somethin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/21 11:44 PM |
| 4 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.The theory isn't that these things aren't or are important for the success of a relationship. OP didn't explain it that well for people who have never read about it. Five love languages says we feel loved in five different ways, and each individual has a different priority on each. It's not that quality time or words of affirmation aren't important for the success of a relationship. It's that some people feel loved through quality time or words of affirmation while others don't. As an example, a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/21 11:25 PM |
| 144 | If a woman is allowed to define a man loving her as him buying her flowers, taking her out to restaurants, spending quality time with her, then a man is allowed to define a woman loving him as cooking, cleaning, and fucking.You're almost understanding love languages, but you're missing a lot of important information. Fucking would fall under physical touch, but it's only a percentage of that love language. I dated a man who had physical touch as his primary love language. While sex was important, he felt loved through even the smallest physical gestures like holding hands during a movie or a hug after a long day. Physical touch includes everything from cuddling on the touch to 69, back scratches to blow jobs. So, i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/21 11:18 PM |
| 3 | Good taste in men is harder to find than good taste in womenAnd I bet a lot of men have rejected tons of women who were generally good fits for them in favor of women who were younger and more attractive. Goes both ways, eh? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/21 06:18 PM |
| 2 | Good taste in men is harder to find than good taste in womenHow is it my fault that someone wasn't honest with me about who they were? Both men and women need to learn that they're not going to be a match with everyone, and that's OK. We should encourage people to be more picky with what they're willing to accept. "Just be yourself" is OK with it's paired with "and recognize not everyone will like you for you, but that's fine." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/21 06:06 PM |
| 7 | Good taste in men is harder to find than good taste in womenThey are a disappointment because they don't match their presentation. This has been the downfall of two of my two longest relationships. Both men presented themselves as very different people at the start in order to impress me. As time went on, I discovered who they really were, and well, those men weren't as attractive to me. Then I ended the relationships. For example, I'm an extremely active person, and it's important to me to be with someone who shares that love of fitness. One man pretend… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/21 05:40 PM |
| 48 | You shouldn't spend any money on a girl before you've slept with her (with minimal exception)Unless you're the mega Chad of Mega Chads, this strategy is only going to work on insecure, needy women who are struggling to get dates of their own. This is a supply and demand issue. If other men are courting women and paying for dates, women aren't going to be interested in spending time with the man who's like "I ain't paying until you fuck." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/21 04:49 PM |
| 6 | If everyone was bisexual, polyamory would be a lot more commonMany bisexuals are still monogamous. Just because someone likes both sexes doesn't mean they're into polyamory or open relationships. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/21 01:13 AM |
| 126 | If you're *really* married, how come you're on FDS?Some of us are also here to support other women. I've made some bad choices and bad decisions. Let me help other women not make the same ones. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/05/21 11:34 PM |
| 3 | How much do diets play a role in relationships?These men were on the extreme end of the fitness spectrum. I didn't mind it in the early stages of dating if they were still open to going to restaurants with me, but it wasn't something I thought of as favorable for a long-term relationship when I sometimes want to have pasta for dinner. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/21 10:41 PM |
| 2 | How much do diets play a role in relationships?The point I was trying to make was that there's a difference between a non-drinker who's willing to happily go along for a night out and a non-drinker who's like "you know how many calories are in a glass of wine, and how much money you waste when you have three drinks in a night?" with a judgey face. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/21 10:32 PM |
| 1 | How much do diets play a role in relationships?Designated driver. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/21 10:22 PM |
| 0 | Woke college educated women should date down men in terms of income and status.I solved the problem by breaking up with him. I shouldn't have to dictate a grown man's cleaning schedule like a toddler. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/21 09:33 PM |
| 70 | Had a funeral for a close relative a few years ago and it helped me get some closure. They don’t like expensive weddings and now they don’t think people should have funerals either if they want one? Fuck outta hear with your cheap assWhat if it's my kink is to wear a white dress, get a nice ring, invite all my friends to a big party, and sign a marriage certificate? Then it's perfectly acceptable to spend $30,000 on such an event because it's my kink and we can't kink shame, right? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/05/21 07:05 PM |
| 25 | How much do diets play a role in relationships?This isn't something that's usually a deal-breaker at face value, but it can be something that can become a source of frustration which can result in breakups. It depends on how much importance each partner puts on their diet and how much flexibility they're willing to have. Vegan who's fine eating basic salads at restaurants so they can go out? Great. Vegan who refuses to have meat in the house, period? Not so great. Non-drinker who's happy to be the DD without fuss? Great. Non-drinker who refu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/21 06:17 PM |
| 0 | Woke college educated women should date down men in terms of income and status.My ex and I worked the same hours at the same company, and I did about 85% of the household chores. It was great.... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/21 01:20 PM |
| 1 | Woke college educated women should date down men in terms of income and status.YES. This is an argument I give a lot on PPD. Women have no problem dating men who earn less. A lot of men, however, don't want to talk on the lion's share of household management or childcare, and they don't want to sacrifice their careers for their higher earning spouses. If I'm dating a man who earns less and has a less stressful career, he's the one staying home when the plumber comes or who's picking sick kids up from school. He needs to be okay with that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/21 01:17 PM |
| 7 | Woke college educated women should date down men in terms of income and status.I had similar issues with my last boyfriend. We weren't even that far off in terms of salary or job, but since I was ten years younger, he was very self-conscious about his career and wealth. Those insecurities caused a lot of issues. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/21 01:15 PM |
| 3 | A man only benefits from a traditional marriage for about 15-20 years.The exception to this is wealthy families in which the mom's childcare duties are slowly evolved into more non-profit, volunteer work. The wife would still be in charge of her standard household maintenance such as overseeing the cleaners, hosting dinner parties, planning vacations, etc., but the hands-on childcare is no longer needed. Instead, the wife increases the family status through her boards, fundraisers, galas, etc. This only applies to the truly wealthy, though. In most cases, the woma… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/21 10:33 PM |
| 5 | Some women can lustfully have hot sex with a guy they just met in the club/bar bathroom just from instant arousal...other women need to feel the full range of comfort, attraction, and trust to "have the hots" for a guy. Those women who need more time and connection are actually repressed sexually.I'm not repressed sexually. I'm risk adverse. I don't need time to "warm up to someone" to be attracted to them, but I don't have sex when I have established trust with them. I have a low risk appetite when it comes to having it which is why I prefer to have sex with partners that I have a base level of familiarity with. If I have sex in a club bathroom, I could get an STI or I could get pregnant. Neither of those are things I want from a random man I literally just met. Going home to a stranger… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/21 05:56 PM |
| 208 | This is straight up abuse. If you don’t like that she’s a makeup artist on TikTok, you can just break up with her, you don’t have to call her ugly and attention seeking in the process. Guys can never just leave with dignity, they have to make a whole ass mess out of itMen: Women don't have hobbies. Woman: *gets hobby* Men: No. Not that one. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/21 04:37 PM |
| 46 | When the scammer scams himself trying to scam you 💡 😱😱😱An ex of mine tried something like this. I had expressed uncertainty about our relationship so he demanded we go on a break. Then when I didn't immediately run back into his arms, he started with the name calling. If I wasn't sure about us before, you asking "why are you being such a bitch?" doesn't seem to turn things in your favor. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/21 03:34 PM |
| 38 | "My ex is crazy" is still a red flag, even if he's telling the truthEvery time my ex-boyfriend's parents talked poorly about his ex-wife, I thought to myself "yup, that'll be me one day." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/21 03:29 PM |
| 2 | How should men communicate financial independence/success to women without being relegated to the "provider" role?At a certain point, I realized that the chances of finding a partner who could provide more financially than me was about 2%. There's a lot of things I prioritize above money now, but again, I have zero interest in being the breadwinner then coming home to take care of the household and the kids. I'm interested in men who help make my life easier around the home. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/21 03:19 PM |
| 1 | CMV: Women who pair up only with taller, richer, prettier men than them, shouldn't be surprised they're expected to compensate by taking care of house chores, or overcompensate by being great partners.Huh? That's not what I said at all. Men should be with women they're genuinely interested in and respect, not women who they look down on as inferior. Otherwise, he's better off being single than ending up resentful. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/21 03:25 AM |
| 3 | How should men communicate financial independence/success to women without being relegated to the "provider" role?Sure, but you need to narrow your search somehow. For example, let's just pretend 7/10 college women fit your criteria whereas only 1/10 women without college degrees fit your criteria. Does it make sense to include all 20 women or to focus on the 10 who are a potentially better matches. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/21 03:15 AM |
| 5 | How should men communicate financial independence/success to women without being relegated to the "provider" role?Fido is a very stereotypical dog name. As in, you're not worried about the cost of paying for the emergency vet visit, but you're worried about your dog. I've commented about this on PPD a couple of times. Women are more than happy to date men who make less than them. As a high earning woman, I'm totally open to dating a man who doesn't have the same salary or net worth as me. What I'm (and most women are) not okay with are men who earn less or similar amounts but also somehow expect me to magic… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/21 02:54 AM |
| 4 | How should men communicate financial independence/success to women without being relegated to the "provider" role?My (F) attitude comes from being burned in the past. In my last relationship, I was in a much better financial position, and my ex was a total asshole about it. Part because of hang ups he had from a previous relationship and part because of his unnecessary need to feel like "the provider." I was extremely open and generous with him, and it was simply not worth it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/21 02:45 AM |
| 7 | How should men communicate financial independence/success to women without being relegated to the "provider" role?That's true, but OP is asking how a man can communicate his financial independence and success. If you're extremely frugal, you'd simply have to tell a partner that you save X% per month or have $Y in savings. I don't recommend doing that until later in a relationship, though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/21 02:40 AM |
| 18 | How should men communicate financial independence/success to women without being relegated to the "provider" role?If a man doesn't want to be relegated to the provider role, he should find a woman who has a similar level of financial independence and career success. Men here say that they don't care about a woman's career but then get stuck in the breadwinner role because she earns $10/hr with no growth opportunities. Regardless of your gender, I wouldn't disclose all of your finances right away. There's no reason to. People can generally tell a lot about your lifestyle by the way you live, unless you go ou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/21 02:29 AM |
| 2 | CMV: Women who pair up only with taller, richer, prettier men than them, shouldn't be surprised they're expected to compensate by taking care of house chores, or overcompensate by being great partners.If a man is looking at a woman saying "I'm bringing so much more to the table than her," why would he want to be with her in the first place? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/05/21 11:16 PM |
| 6 | Men do care about a woman's occupation. (CMV)This is how my parents operated for most of their marriage. My mom is highly educated but never held any sort of "career." Her longest standing job was at a small retail shop for just clothes spending money and something to do. She did a lot of charity work and whatnot. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/05/21 05:06 PM |
| 1 | Men do care about a woman's occupation. (CMV)Exactly. Many arguments here apply to top income earners only. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/05/21 04:40 PM |
| 1 | CMV: Women who pair up only with taller, richer, prettier men than them, shouldn't be surprised they're expected to compensate by taking care of house chores, or overcompensate by being great partners.Great question. Why is he even bothering with a woman if he's not interested in being her partner? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/05/21 04:34 PM |
| 1 | Ladies in their 20s, would you be okay with dating a 50+ year old man(since that’s when men are their hottest for stability?It's not that they're not interested in sex in theory. Our bodies just don't work as well as we age, and limp dick is real. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/05/21 04:33 PM |
| 1 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadI found it as good as any other dating app. I don't get the "it's just awful!" comments about Tinder. Some people say Bumble and Hinge are so much better, but I found it all to be the same shit, different pile. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/05/21 08:29 PM |
| 6 | CMV: Women who pair up only with taller, richer, prettier men than them, shouldn't be surprised they're expected to compensate by taking care of house chores, or overcompensate by being great partners.You think a lot of men are looking at the mother of their children thinking "I could easily replace you..." Frankly, if I'm ever in a situation where my man feels like he needs to look around or can get better elsewhere, he's more than welcome to leave. I don't want to be with someone who's not genuinely excited about me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/05/21 07:07 PM |
| 9 | Why are most college graduates women?If the above question about education is true, would my dating prospects as a non college educated male be better served by moving? Many women are open to dating men who are less educated or earn less. They're not open, however, to dating men who are less educated or earn less who expect their wives to be taking on the lion's share of childcare and housework. Be a partner who wants to contribute equally to the household management, and you'll be a much viable option for career women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/05/21 06:10 PM |
| 13 | If women do not benefit from marriage, they should stop marrying.Exactly. It's just like the divorce statistic. We know 50% of marriages end in divorce, but we tell ourselves "not my marriage." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/05/21 04:55 PM |
| 56 | Daily reminder that men don’t consider women’s backbreaking unpaid labour as real ‘work’Again, this is why we must be extremely careful with our careers and why being a SAHM is a huge risk. The argument "but she takes half of everything in the divorce!" is misleading when it comes to retirement (in the US, and likely in other countries). If a woman is a SAHM from 25-40 then goes through a divorce, she's likely finding it hard to reenter the workforce after fifteen years at home with the kids. Her now ex-husband, on the other hand, will continue with the earning and career path he h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/05/21 02:30 PM |
| 1 | Married mothers spend more time on housework and children and less time on leisure and sleep than other mothers.Married women have more chores to do because there's another adult living in the house, and they're also more likely to be SAHMs which is why the childcare average is higher. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/05/21 01:45 PM |
| 3 | Would women be happier married to guys they consider not marriage material?Something missing here is how the definition of "marriage material" has changed over time for me. I've never dated a man and thought "ew, I'd never marry him" at the time, but as I've gotten older, grown my career, etc., I've thought "ew, thank goodness I never married him." Whenever I date, it's with a long-term intent, and yes, even the artsy hipster in college who lived with his parents. The thing is, I was also an arts student in college living with her parents so back then, that looked like… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/05/21 01:42 PM |
| 8 | CMV: Women who pair up only with taller, richer, prettier men than them, shouldn't be surprised they're expected to compensate by taking care of house chores, or overcompensate by being great partners.Couples should figure out what works best for them. If that means one person takes on more chores, so be it. There's no formula here. Like another user said, though, when partners both work equal hours, they should be doing equal chores, regardless of who makes more. If you live in the house, you should be contributing to the management of said household. There's also give-and-take in any relationship, times where someone has to take on a larger portion of work temporarily, and vice versa. Anyon… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/05/21 01:33 PM |
| 3 | Ladies in their 20s, would you be okay with dating a 50+ year old man(since that’s when men are their hottest for stability?The thought here is that a man's peak is when his earnings peak. It has nothing to do with fitness, humor, personality, looks, anything. Just how much he makes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/05/21 03:41 AM |
| 21 | Ladies in their 20s, would you be okay with dating a 50+ year old man(since that’s when men are their hottest for stability?Hell no. At 33, I'm not even interested in dating men over 40 anymore. If you want kids, don't date a man with aging sperm. From experience: I dated a man twelve years older (28 and 40). Never married. No kids. He had commitment issues and couldn't keep it up like a man my own age. Made a bit more than me, but not much. I dated a man ten years older (29 and 39). He had kids, an ex-wife, and debt. He also couldn't keep it up like a man my own age. Made barely more than me, but not enough to compe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/05/21 03:08 AM |
| 1 | What is the pettiest reason someone refused to date you?A man I dated for two months broke up with me because I was funny, but not the right kind of funny. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/05/21 10:00 PM |
| 1 | If a guy reaches his mid 20s still being an inexperienced virgin, if he by some chance does get an opportunity with a woman, should he be honest to her about his inexperience? Or should he lie?It's not necessarily her right to know that information, but I assume most women would be a little off-put if she found out later that he hadn't disclosed something like that. Then it turns into "What else has he not told me? Is he lying about something else?" My last boyfriend lied about something big (but totally different), and it ended our relationship. A big issue for me was the fact that if it was so easy to lie to me in that case, how else would it be for him to lie to me in others? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/05/21 06:43 PM |
| 1 | If a guy reaches his mid 20s still being an inexperienced virgin, if he by some chance does get an opportunity with a woman, should he be honest to her about his inexperience? Or should he lie?What's his end goal? If you're sleeping with someone you met at a bar on vacation and will never see her again, it's not relevant information to bring up. There's no reason to share. Is this someone you want to end up in a relationship with, though? In that case, lying probably isn't a great idea because it's going to cause issues in the future when the truth comes out (and it always does). Once you find out one lie or lie by omission, it's really easy to start wondering "What else is he lying a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/05/21 05:59 PM |
| 10 | If A Woman You Date Says "I Don't Fuck On The ______ Date" Then She Is STRICTLY Fuck Zone MaterialI can't speak for other women, unfortunately. We're not quite the hivemind some people seem to think we are. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/21 11:25 PM |
| 25 | If A Woman You Date Says "I Don't Fuck On The ______ Date" Then She Is STRICTLY Fuck Zone MaterialIf a man expects me to fuck him the first time I meet him, we are not compatible, regardless of how "hot" or "high value" he is. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/21 11:20 PM |
| 37 | Do women get bored of relationships faster than men?New dick isn't exciting. Do I really want to invest time and energy teaching another man how I prefer to be eaten out? No, not really. Do I really want to risk a stable relationship for sex with a stranger that could result in STIs, pregnancy, no orgasm...? No, not really. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/21 09:31 PM |
| 62 | If A Woman You Date Says "I Don't Fuck On The ______ Date" Then She Is STRICTLY Fuck Zone MaterialMen here want women to sleep with them on the first date but then get suspicious if she comments that "I usually don't sleep on the first date," relegating her to the "fuck zone." This is why women should avoid all discussion about and activity related to sex until they get to know someone. If you don't talk about sex or have sex, you avoid all of this nonsense plus weed out any of the men who want you just for sex. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/21 09:09 PM |
| 3 | Women sexual marketplace value is ZERO. Here's whyWhen you add porn and increased promiscuity I don't see anything women can offer to men worth the effort. If the only thing that matters to you is an orgasm, yes, there's better ways to get them than engaging in the dating scene. Spend $100 on OnlyFans instead of taking a woman out to dinner. Many men are still interested in genuine companionship, support, and building a life and family which can't be done with a prostitute, though. Now women offer only sex, and since sex is extremely accessible… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/21 09:05 PM |
| 4 | Physical attractiveness is the least important consideration for a relationship partner, and if a potential partner has to be at least somewhat physically attractive for you to be attracted to them, then you're probably just shallow.Everyone here agrees that looks aren't everything. As wildly different as some PPD opinions are at times, no one has ever said "all I care about is looks, nothing else matters." The hottest person in the room might be great eye candy, but that doesn't mean we're compatible whatsoever. Looks are, however, important, and usually a gatekeeper into more. People also often want some sort of attraction to their partner. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/21 04:55 PM |
| 6 | Physical attractiveness is the least important consideration for a relationship partner, and if a potential partner has to be at least somewhat physically attractive for you to be attracted to them, then you're probably just shallow.When it comes to the dating market, attractiveness gets you in the door. If someone's not attracted to you at least a bit, they're probably not going to be interested in you and won't give you a chance. The majority of people don't swipe on Tinder based on personalities or hit on someone's sense of humor at the bar. This doesn't make someone shallow. It just makes them human. The exception to this is people who meet their partners through social circles, work, church, etc. If someone's already i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/21 03:37 PM |
| 21 | How often do you think a married couple fights?It really depends on what you consider a "fight." A certain amount of conflict is a healthy part of any relationship, but I wouldn't necessarily consider that conflict a "fight" exactly. It's a business theory, but the Five Dysfunctions of a Team discuss how some conflict is needed in a team. A couple going out of its way to avoid fighting at all costs isn't good. A healthy relationship allows partners to safely express their opposing views and ideas without having any sort of fear of a blow up.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/21 12:52 AM |
| 2 | Are dick pics as common as people think they are?Folks are really that careless. I have the perfect example. Years ago, an older man (40's/50's?) texted me by mistake looking for a contractor. I told him that he had the wrong number and suggested a different contractor I knew. We exchanged a handful of very, very surface level messages, and I wished him luck on his quest. I shit you not this man then proceeds to tell me "You sound hot" (from like the 5 text messages I sent him...) and proceeds to send me a full body nude mirror selfie. It was … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/21 09:13 PM |
| 4 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadIt's not as much body standards as it is acts standards. Men act like anal and MFF threesomes are basic required acts every woman should be doing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/21 09:07 PM |
| 1 | The dick pill ruined my lifeYou're not looking for someone who is the best at everything. That's impossible. You'll never be happy if you expect to marry the richest, hottest, most educated, best employed, smartest, hardest working, sexiest, fittest, most fashionable... person. You're looking for someone who's the best overall for you. They might be the smartest person but not the tallest. They might be the fittest but not the most fashionable. No one can check every single box. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/21 07:37 PM |
| 2 | The dick pill ruined my lifeThere's always going to be someone better at something than you are. Someone who's got a better job. Someone who's got a better car. Someone who has a better head of hair. We all have exes who have better [whatever] than our current partners. Your dick is just one part of you, though. Whoever is with you is with you for the collective sum of the parts, not just one piece. The man I'm currently dating is a brilliant match for me. Is he the absolute best/top/better at everything compared to my exe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/21 07:09 PM |
| 57 | Women's dating/relationship standards are warped by social media the same way men's are by porn.The main difference here is that men watching porn seem to have unrealistic standards for their partners, whereas in my experience, women seeing influencers on social media seem to have unrealistic standards for themselves. When I've gone down the social media rabbit hole (I try to avoid it for the most part), I end up feeling bad about myself, no one else. I'll see photos of a woman with perfect lips and think "Should I get lip fillers?" I'll see a vacation photo and think "Ugh. Why am I stuck … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/21 05:23 PM |
| 96 | Is marriage good for women, or a liability to freedom?Nowadays, the answer to this question is 100% dependent on who you marry. Being with the right person can be good for you. Ending up with the wrong person is a death wish. Unfortunately, the narrative we're sold too often is "don't marry to late" instead of "don't marry the wrong person." Focus on finding a partner who truly wants to be your equal and who wants to help support you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/21 05:11 PM |
| 3 | Women want equal pay but also prefer to date men who make more than them?On the flip side, I asked men here if they'd be willing to make sacrifices to support their higher earning spouses, and a lot of men said "my career needs to be the priority." Every relationship is give-and-take, but it's kind of unreasonable to say "I expect you to be the one who misses meetings to take care of sick kids and do school pickups even though you make more money for our family." I'm not interested in a relationship where I make more but also have to do more childcare. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/05/21 02:53 AM |
| 13 | From the horses mouth... This man lol literally thinks she's a bangmaid.No thank you. Zero interest in this lifestyle. Not only does he expect her to do everything, he has no respect for her whatsoever. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/05/21 02:38 AM |
| 2 | What do you bring to the table?Like I said, in my case, my ex and I were financially equals but he barely contributed to the household. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/05/21 10:22 PM |
| 6 | What do you bring to the table?She expects the man to perform both traditional and modern male roles whichever is most convenient to her; yet, she refuses to perform traditional roles In my experience, it's usually the opposite when it comes to long term relationships. Yes, in the early days of dating, a woman may expect a man to court her and take her on dates (and pay for them). Once couples are living together, though, there's often an expectation that the finances are split more evenly, but the woman somehow magically sti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/05/21 09:43 PM |
| 6 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadThe thought of being poly just makes me tired. Having one boyfriend is enough. I don't want more men to have to worry about. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/21 03:03 AM |
| 14 | The distinction between the Nice Guy^TMs and genuinely nice guys is irrelevant if women don't value either of themExactly. You don't get bonus points for treating others with basic respect and decency. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/21 02:16 AM |
| 3 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadFreeze some sperm beforehand. It's cheap and gives you options down the road if you want them. Unless you're staunchly childfree then you do you and just get the snip. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/21 09:18 PM |
| 4 | Do you think decision fatigue is part of the reasons people struggle to get into relationships?I do think decision fatigue is real (especially during this past year of pandemic living - someone else just please decide what to make for dinner), but I don't think that's what the issue is with dating. When it comes to dating, the problem is an abundance of option leading us to indecision and the fear that something better could be out there. This is one of the main discussions in Aziz Ansari's "Modern Romance" (which I'd encourage anyone dating to read). We've moved from a society of finding… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/21 06:55 PM |
| 1 | Covid-Vaccine Mega ThreadI just don't bother taking it off if I'm driving a short distance from Store A to Store B. Like you said, not a big deal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/21 06:41 PM |
| 1 | Covid-Vaccine Mega ThreadI read a stat (maybe in the NYT?) that the average American gained 20lbs during the past year... Eeek. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/21 06:39 PM |
| 3 | Covid-Vaccine Mega ThreadI probably drank more than I should have after my first vaccine. I'll stay sober for a few days after my second... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/21 06:38 PM |
| 12 | Do you have any sympathy for women who wish men would approach them in real life *more*?No. I'm an attractive woman, and I rarely get approached in real life by men. I don't think a man has ever cold approached me ever. Despite that, I've had absolutely no issues dating because I tend to date within my social circles or online. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/21 03:35 PM |
| 1 | Women: Describe The Men & What They Did That Had Sex With You On The First Meet/DateYes. Except many commenters here try to push the "she sleeps with Chad the second she meets him but makes Beta Bucks Bobby wait seven months!!!" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/21 03:09 PM |
| 1 | CMV- The average woman lives a life comparable to a good looking male billionaireSeriously. Pre-pandemic, I was "constantly traveling to exotic places," but there was that whole having a well-paying job thing that allowed me to do it. How dare I go on vacation with the money I made!!!! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/05/21 11:48 PM |
| 1 | How many divorces is too many?In my early thirties, I'd be OK with dating a man who's been divorced once as long as he's had time to move on from his marriage, worked on his shit, and understands how to change moving forward. I have two friends (one F, one M) around my age who have been married multiple times now, and they're both hot messes. Love them dearly, but they wouldn't be good romantic partners because they seem to just jump from one thing to the next without being able to be happy as a whole, single person. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/05/21 11:45 PM |
| 14 | 1 in 4 Millennials will have never married by old age because they "haven't found what they are looking for"Stop fucking the scum of the earth, stop incentivizing that kind of behavior from men with your own actions and behavior. It will be a lot more influential to do this instead of waving your finger and lecture innocent men who don’t behave like this. This is FDS in a nutshell. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/05/21 11:38 PM |
| 4 | Women: Describe The Men & What They Did That Had Sex With You On The First Meet/DateI've had my fair share of sexual encounters, but again, I've never met and slept with someone that same day. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/05/21 11:36 PM |
| 4 | Women: Describe The Men & What They Did That Had Sex With You On The First Meet/DateI sleep with people based on the trust and rapport I've built with them. If I sleep with someone quickly while dating, it means that I've been friends for them for a while. When I "want to wait," it's because I'm building that trust and rapport with them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/05/21 11:35 PM |
| 1 | MGTOW/RP identify the problem with divorceThe biggest problem is people (men and women), especially young adults, don't understand the risks of marriage when entering one. Even if they do, they're not thinking with logic when they're ruled by the emotion of love. It's a breeze to get married, but it's a hellish, complicated process to get divorced. We'd be better off to create some sort of better barrier to tie the know than to eliminate marriage entirely. While there are cases where women may be financially better off after separating,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/05/21 03:40 AM |
| 14 | Women: Describe The Men & What They Did That Had Sex With You On The First Meet/DateI've never had sex on the first meeting. I've had sex on the first date with men I've already known (i.e. we were friends then went on date). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/05/21 03:10 AM |
| 3 | War is necessaryYeah... I think the past year of pandemic living showed us how well suited most Americans are for horrible times... People across the country shout about how they'd do anything for 'Merica but apparently wear a few inches of fabric over their mouths to stop the spread of a potentially deadly virus. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/05/21 01:21 AM |
| 15 | There is no correlation between facial masculinity and attractiveness in menThere are plenty of men with more either boyish or feminine faces that are extremely handsome. Not every man needs a square jaw to be a Chad. This shouldn't be used as proof that women are attracted to lumpy men with no chins, though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/21 09:21 PM |
| 3 | [Q4ALL]What would you say is the biggest mistake you see your gender make in dating/romance?Hah, I fucking wish. Expenses were pretty much 50/50. The wild card was the fact that he had kids from a former marriage. I didn't contribute to his child support or childcare expenses, but I did contribute 50/50 to some kid-related expenses under our roof (i.e. groceries or museum tickets during his custody time). I also didn't expect him to pay more for bills or whatnot because of his kids. That's more than generous. Our problem with finances was that I generally paid for everything and kept t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/21 09:11 PM |
| 3 | [Q4ALL]What would you say is the biggest mistake you see your gender make in dating/romance?Hah, not exactly like that. Of course no one every said anything so direct. When reflecting on our relationship, though, it's clear that I was consistently doing things that were in the best interest of our relationship whereas he was constituently doing that were in his best interest. I was giving, giving, giving, and he was happy taking, taking, taking. Small example: When we lived together, he prioritized getting his laundry washed (his clothes), whereas I'd always prioritize getting our laun… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/21 07:25 PM |
| 3 | [Q4ALL]What would you say is the biggest mistake you see your gender make in dating/romance?One big one regarding OLD is men not putting any effort into their profiles. Yes, yes, yes. This bugged me so much when I was using dating apps. Countless men complain about how hard OLD is, but like 95% of profiles were straight trash. You want a woman to be interested? Put some effort in! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/21 06:07 PM |
| 5 | [Q4ALL]What would you say is the biggest mistake you see your gender make in dating/romance?People approaching dating as a "me" or "my feelings" instead of aproaching dating as a trade. This was the biggest downfall in my relationship. I'd also add that there's a point at every relationship where the trade between partners becomes prioritizing the relationship above the individuals (at many times, not all times). That also didn't help my relationship when I was consistently like "I do this for us," and he was consistently like "I do this for me!" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/21 06:05 PM |
| 54 | [Q4ALL]What would you say is the biggest mistake you see your gender make in dating/romance?Thinking he'll change over time with enough patience, hard work, understanding, and communication. He won't. Not learning how to create healthy boundaries and then enforce them. Falling into habits of poor communication methods like dropping hints or asking indirect questions. It doesn't do anyone any favors. Investing too much time and energy into men who aren't a good match (i.e. he doesn't want to commit but she does, or he wants kids but she doesn't). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/21 05:16 PM |
| 75 | imagine having a 34 y.o childThey don't pull this shit at work. If they did, they'd be fired. This behavior is for the house only because they know there are no consequences except "oh, she's disappointed again ooops." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/04/21 04:42 AM |
| 31 | LVM can act HV - Never forget itI see you've met my ex. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/04/21 04:20 AM |
| 48 | I love pick mes that are so ignorant to history and to why some things exist... 🙄Not to mention biology. Look, maybe it isn't "fair and equal" that a man is expected to shell out a few thousand for a ring, but is it "fair and equal" we have to bleed for a few days a month from our lady bits plus carry babies and give birth? No. No, it isn't. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/04/21 04:16 AM |
| 1 | Men saying ‘if you didn’t want me at my worst, do you don’t deserve me at my best’ have a valid argument.I'm open to dating, and I'm open to being single. Just because I'm not hungry doesn't mean I'm not interested in looking at the menu or ordering. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/21 09:17 PM |
| 1 | The reason why 'unstable' people are often desirable to the other gender.It's more like this sort of math equation: Highs = Big Feelings Lows = Big Feelings Big Feelings = Good Therefore Highs = Good and Lows = Good It's a super unhealthy habit and routine to fall into when you're in a relationship, but it happens to a lot of people because at a certain point, the feelings get all muddled when you're with someone who's so unstable. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/21 08:59 PM |
| 2 | The reason why 'unstable' people are often desirable to the other gender.This is something I've been thinking about lately, and I agree with your points for the most part. I think you're discounting the excitement and drama that the downs bring when it comes to people who are unstable. No one says "oh, I want a man who doesn't call me back" or "I love when my girlfriend blows up over the little things" but those anxiety moments create heightened feelings that can become almost addicting. We're told that relationships are supposed to have BIG BOLD FEELS, and that's ex… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/21 07:39 PM |
| -1 | Men saying ‘if you didn’t want me at my worst, do you don’t deserve me at my best’ have a valid argument.I'm fine being single either way. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/21 07:11 PM |
| 7 | Men saying ‘if you didn’t want me at my worst, do you don’t deserve me at my best’ have a valid argument.I'm fine with that. There are some men who are interested in women who have smarts and careers (shocking, I know). I'd prefer to stick with them anyways. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/21 05:36 PM |
| 5 | Men saying ‘if you didn’t want me at my worst, do you don’t deserve me at my best’ have a valid argument.Like if a woman didn't like me while I was a student working on my degree and suddenly now that I make good bucks she thinks I'm the shit. This depends on where the woman is in life. When I was on dating apps last year, I avoided men who said they had gone back to school full-time to restart their careers. That's a great pursuit, but as a woman in my early thirties who has a great career making over six figures and a beefy education background, I'm not really keen to be with someone who isn't wh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/21 05:16 PM |
| 2 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadI don't hate men at all, but I'd prefer to be selective about men I date and be able to enforce effective boundaries. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/21 03:05 AM |
| 3 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadPlease tell me: what do I demand from men that I couldn't do in return or meet myself? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/21 02:01 AM |
| 1 | Thoughts on recent FDS post.It's important to work on yourself and find happiness for yourself. If you're an unhappy mess, you're never going to be able to be in a successful relationship. I've both been that unhappy mess and dated that unhappy mess, and it's never a good time. While I agree that it's important to date to figure out what they need in a partner (but that's a whole other topic), we shouldn't shame people in high school or college for focusing on their education or their own lives. I didn't start seriously da… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/21 11:00 PM |
| 129 | Girl proposes to her boyfriend and gets humiliated...You've summed it up well: if a man wants to marry you, he will. If you've been together for years without a proposal (especially if he knows you value marriage) or feel like you need to propose, it's time to reevaluate the relationship. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/04/21 10:47 PM |
| 6 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadThis is exactly what many people seem to miss about FDS. The majority of the content is simply telling women not to go above and beyond for men who reciprocate with the bare minimum. It's not just "find a man who does everything" - it's "don't do everything for a man who isn't doing much for you." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/21 10:38 PM |
| 3 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadI rent dresses for formal events. I'd be open to do it for a wedding, too, although I'd rather just buy a less wedding expensive dress than rent it, though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/21 10:35 PM |
| 16 | Platonic relationships with women aren’t the magical panacea for sexually unsuccesful men, and in the case of a friendship with a high N woman, they can be harmful.This is just summed up as "Some friendships will be healthy for you, and other friendships will be unhealthy for you. Everyone has to learn which people will add value to their lives and act accordingly." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/21 08:27 PM |
| 61 | Why are men like this?? And if you do have sex with him right away he will ghost you for not being a "traditional girl"Don't forget: she has to want kids and plans to be the primary for childcare (on top of her full-time job, of course). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/04/21 08:18 PM |
| 2 | How is not wanting to date an unemployed man any different than men not wanting to date a fat woman?Sort of. This could be true in instances where the same women who didn't want you now want you when you're successful, but I don't know a lot of instances of that happening. These situations seem to be "these women didn't want me so now that I'm successful, I don't trust those other women." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/21 06:50 PM |
| 7 | How is not wanting to date an unemployed man any different than men not wanting to date a fat woman?Both of these mindsets are extremely unhealthy. In both situations, people seem to be holding others accountable for the crimes others committed. There are very few instances where people are saying "Steve/Stephanie didn't like me before I was skinny/rich so now I won't date them." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/21 06:47 PM |
| 5 | Me! Me! Pick me! Keep picking me hubby!! I’ll treat us both 🙋🏻♀️and you’ll never have to feel bad!I had to fight with my NVM ex to contribute his financial fare share to our relationship (rent, groceries, etc.), but somehow going out 2-3 times a week with the boys spending $50+ a pop was fine and dandy for his budget. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/04/21 05:28 PM |
| 38 | My small guide for the "BIG" event of meeting the family.Even how they talk about the ones who left or divorced will be very revealing. My ex's family spoke poorly of his ex-wife. Every time his mom made a snide remark about her, I just thought "well, I know how I'll be talked about if we break up." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/04/21 05:16 PM |
| 3 | "A woman's loyalty is tested when her man has nothing. A man's loyalty is tested when he has everything."This is the best advice. I have always dated men who are more-or-less where I'm at in life. When I was starting my career in my early 20's, of course I was more than content with a man starting off his career, too. Things changed when I found myself in my late 20's with a solid career going on dates with men who had not figured their careers out. Of course that was a turn off. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/21 04:59 PM |
| 6 | Women left their ex role of homemaker to gain freedom. They are unlikely to ever go back.Are men any better at choosing what would actually bring them happiness? I know many unhappy women, and I know many unhappy men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/21 04:28 PM |
| 14 | Women left their ex role of homemaker to gain freedom. They are unlikely to ever go back.Whenever this "why aren't women homemakers" argument comes up on this sub, people conveniently forget how little most Americans make and how expensive most babies are. Many more parents would stay home if it were possible to afford it. It's not a right wing conspiracy, it's just finances. Once you look at the price of actually raising a child then remember about paying for health care and retirement, suddenly, being a homemaker is pretty much impossible. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/21 04:28 PM |
| 1 | The SAHM/Homemaker role is great. Women gave away their happiness and power by choosing to work for a corporation insteadYou're right: the homemaker/SAHM role can be incredibly important to a family. I (F) have a number of friends who are wonderful SAHMs, and the dynamic works great for their family. Not all women want to have children and not all women want to be stay at home moms, though. The happiest parents I've seen are the ones who figure out what truly works for them and their family. Sometimes that means dad stays home for a few years with the kids then goes back to work while mom focuses on her career pos… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/21 12:34 AM |
| 1 | I think I found a solution to the male dating problem.Do you think most people will be equipped to teach their kids much about dating given the large gaps between when they dated and when their kids are dating? I'm in my early thirties, and my friends who met their partners prior to the online dating boom ten years ago seem to be living on a different planet when they try to talk about me about their advice and their experiences. Some basics like "be a wealthy man" or "stay fit" might stay the same over generations, but a lot will change between da… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/04/21 08:36 PM |
| 1 | I think I found a solution to the male dating problem.I'd sooner tell my parents to fuck off than to put up with that level of their involvement in my life growing up. Same. The only sex advice I got from my parents (mom, specifically) was "Don't wait until marriage." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/04/21 08:32 PM |
| 1 | Has anyone met their boyfriend/ girlfriend during the pandemic? If so, what's your story?Antibody testing from blood donation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/04/21 02:18 AM |
| 2 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadThe fear that suddenly women won't find them attractive with their post-pandemic bodies. Vaccines bring the reality that people will see how you treated yourself the past year. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/04/21 02:16 AM |
| 2 | Has anyone met their boyfriend/ girlfriend during the pandemic? If so, what's your story?I'm not, but mediocre sex with a stranger isn't worth the risk, even if I'd likely be fine from COVID. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/04/21 02:02 AM |
| 1 | Has anyone met their boyfriend/ girlfriend during the pandemic? If so, what's your story?Why? Because I don't want to risk my health for some random dude? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/21 10:35 PM |
| 3 | Background checks on dating appsYes, I also want a credit score check on any women I match with, and how much debt they're in, and the exact degree title they got I'd be fine with this. There's a lot of people out there who'd be fucked, though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/21 05:37 PM |
| 3 | Has anyone met their boyfriend/ girlfriend during the pandemic? If so, what's your story?Guys on the red pill still claim to be spinning multiple plates? That's one of the big reasons I got off dating apps. When we're not in a global pandemic, I'm okay with the fact that everyone is seeing multiple people. I'm not being extremely cautious 99% of the time to get COVID thanks to some guy who's dating three women, though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/21 05:34 PM |
| 4 | Is it really that common for women to be turned off by seeing a man they are in a relationship with crying? Can this one thing destroy relationships?Being vulnerable isn't pathetic. Crying isn't a turn-off. Having emotions is human. What I've had issues with (and female friends of mine have had issues with) is when men are determined to only show their emotions to their partners, refusing help from other sources, even when it's needed. I was at my wit's end when my ex was going through an extremely difficult time, and he put the burden of support entirely on me. He needed therapy. He needed AA. He needed the support of his friends and family… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/04/21 02:13 AM |
| 32 | How sex surrogates are helping injured Israeli soldiersIt's important to point out that military service is mandatory in Israel for 24 to 32 months. To me, this is more of a government program for supporting injured veterans than a government program for supporting men, even if the individuals using the service are men. Given the circumstances, it's hard to compare this sort of thing being implemented in the U.S. since many of the individuals who would seek this service won't have been forced into military service by the government. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/04/21 05:22 PM |
| 19 | Q4Women: Which would you choose and why?This is kind of a nonsensical choice. Yeah... I've seen a few of these "YOU MUST CHOOSE MAN A OR MAN B" posts, and it's like, why? What are you trying to prove? You're giving people pretty terrible options, and most women would rather be single than marry someone who they already know is a bad fit. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/04/21 04:10 AM |
| 26 | Why are you ring to date a homeless man though?She must have confused "partner" with "parent." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/04/21 12:14 AM |
| 2 | What is commonly said by people of your sex on PPD that you feel doesn't represent your personal experience?Hah, I honestly don't care if a man doesn't want to date a taller woman. If a man doesn't want to date me because of my height, we're simply not a match. I just wanted to point out that men here act like women are big bad meanies because they want taller men when they themselves might want shorter women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/04/21 04:22 PM |
| 25 | When you tell your current bf that he can be a renter in your house 🍆 👈 that's my big dick energy 🙋🏼♀️I did something similar with my ex-boyfriend when he moved in. I charged him a very fair market price for rent (the same amount I had charged my former roommate), and we split bills 50/50. I let him know that I'd put his rent back into the house which meant that his money went to improving his quality of life here. It was a win/win when we were together and still a win for me when he moved out. You need to make sure you have a lease agreement so he can't claim he helped improve the value of your… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/04/21 04:19 PM |
| 1 | What is commonly said by people of your sex on PPD that you feel doesn't represent your personal experience?I (F) make more than double the $60K "good man threshold" so that also aligns with the "this doesn't feel like my experience" theme of the thread. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/04/21 03:30 PM |
| 2 | What is commonly said by people of your sex on PPD that you feel doesn't represent your personal experience?If a man is making $60K in his mid-thirties, there's a low chance his salary jumps to some impressive amount, and his partner is likely to make at least 50% of what he does. Too many men who have no chance at making large sums of money act like they need to protect their non-existent future assets. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/04/21 03:28 PM |
| 17 | What is commonly said by people of your sex on PPD that you feel doesn't represent your personal experience?I've never met anyone in real life who cares about N-count, except for a very few highly religious friends. Only one man I've dated every asked. Some threads here make it sound like it's something every man thinks about and highly prioritizes. As a tall woman, I've come across my fair share of men who refuse to date someone taller or who makes a fuss about height. I'm not saying there aren't plenty of women who refuse to date men under 6'0 (there definitely are), but PPD doesn't acknowledge the … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/04/21 04:05 AM |
| 3 | Is sugar-daddying worth it?My guess is OP is massively understating how much he needs to do this. Women aren't looking for a man who's going to spend a couple hundred on them per month. When I was on Bumble two years ago (early 30's), men were offering me $8,000+ per month to be a sugar baby. I wasn't looking for that sort of engagement at all, and my profile clearly stated I was looking for a relationship. I'd still get asked if it was something I'd be interested in with a list of proposed terms. I can only imagine how m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/21 08:52 PM |
| 1 | Women who don’t want to date men based on a physical trait are hypocrites if that physical trait runs in their family and are ruining gene poolsI have parents, but neither of them know their biological parents. No siblings. My dad is over 6', is in incredible shape, and has a full set of hair in his 70's. The only "problem" is that he wears glasses but who his age doesn't? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/21 06:02 PM |
| 2 | Women who don’t want to date men based on a physical trait are hypocrites if that physical trait runs in their family and are ruining gene poolsI don't know my family history so I can have all the standards I want then, I guess! Yay. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/21 05:49 PM |
| 5 | Women who don’t want to date men based on a physical trait are hypocrites if that physical trait runs in their family and are ruining gene poolsSo ugly men from ugly families who only want to date attractive women are also hypocrites? Men who wear glasses who prefer women without them are also hypocrites? Women who have allergies who hope their kids don't have allergies are hypocrites? This is silly. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/21 05:42 PM |
| 20 | Boy Meets World - Let Me Touch Something!!! I’m actually disgusted...Did nobody see anything wrong with this?!? It’s crazy watching this under a different lense. Women don’t owe men sex . If we never wanted to have sex ever, we have a right to that. Men are not entitled to sex, no matter how long.The only lesson I (vaguely) remember from that show was a good one. Cory and Topanga get married and end up in a crappy flat. They ask for money from his/her (?) parents, and they're essentially told "Nope, you're married now and that means you're responsible for your own well-being. You made the adult decision to be wed so now you have to be adults." Now, I'm not against parents helping their kids, but I appreciated the message that making adult choices can mean adult consequences. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/21 04:36 PM |
| 14 | All the emotional labor, organizing and managing being pushed on the woman, who would have known? This is why multiple partners are not beneficial for women, instead of one man baby, she now has two of them.I read an article about a poly woman years ago who was detailing her life and routine. It just seemed exhausting trying to balance the needs of two men. I just... need more alone time than that lifestyle provided. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/21 04:21 PM |
| 18 | All the emotional labor, organizing and managing being pushed on the woman, who would have known? This is why multiple partners are not beneficial for women, instead of one man baby, she now has two of them.In my last relationship, I started asking myself "What happens if I don't do X?" I would get so caught up running around doing all the household chores and errands, and I learned to just take a pause to check in to see what would happen if I didn't. For example, I'd always get stressed out cleaning before my ex's kids came for their custody time. Looking back, LOL. If he wasn't stressed about it, why the hell was I? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/21 04:18 PM |
| 1 | Independent Men/ Independent WonenI'll echo a lot of what others have said and say that it's a gradient. I know successful couples who do absolutely everything together, and I know successful couples who do more activities without one another. It's an absolute train wreck of a show, but I binged a few seasons of Married at First Sight at the start of the pandemic. This was one of the things that was interesting. Each person came into the marriage with expectations about what being a wife or husband meant. One of the biggest stru… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/21 02:47 PM |
| 7 | If your man watches porn because he has limited to no access to sex with you, there is a 0% chance that you can pity yourself for the situation you got into.Hah, no. Sex should be a mutually enjoyable activity for everyone involved. If a man wants to be getting laid regularly, he sure as hell better consider his partner's sexual and physical needs. Any woman who's entirely focused on her man's pleasure is going to get bored and stop putting out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/21 02:43 PM |
| 2 | Weekly Community Chat MegathreadDude, same. I cannot wait until it's a little safer to have a bit more variety in life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/04/21 10:46 PM |
| 18 | If your man watches porn because he has limited to no access to sex with you, there is a 0% chance that you can pity yourself for the situation you got into.I'd rather be single than deal with a man who has a porn addiction. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/04/21 10:27 PM |
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