The simple, foolproof way to get your partner to contribute his fair share to chores, cooking, and household management.

fingernmuzzle · 2021-10-03T19:53:36+00:00

The amount of leisure time each person has is a clear measurement of whether the division of labor is equitable.

Thestral-glow6 · 2021-10-03T15:34:24+00:00

I’ve lived with two of my partners in the past and this was honestly one of the biggest things that put me off them, aside from their other LV behaviour.

But this really made me resent them and even lose attraction to them both emotionally and physically. This is also one of the reasons that I’m very wary of ever living with a guy again.

ironglaciers · 2021-10-03T16:27:43+00:00

When I saw my friend two weeks ago (we live very far away and I visited for the first time since she got married), I quickly noticed that she did 85% of the work if not more, despite being a high school teacher, and her husband was working from home. No thanks.

apommom · 2021-10-03T17:16:30+00:00

My half brother has been living with us since covid and he eats all the food I shop for (he thinks it just magically appears), never has put a dish in the dishwasher and has his mom do his laundry, which he never puts away and just leaves in baskets all over his room. Due to his dating record and his HV façade, I am positive he will have no trouble finding someone to marry in a couple of years. He has absolutely no need to change or improve these habits because there are so many women that will accept him just how he is and pick up after him just like his mom does. It’s infuriating.

questionsaboutrel521 · 2021-10-04T00:29:01+00:00

There is another aspect to this I think women miss. It is our own self-esteem. We are raised to think we must be in charge of household management if we want it done to any standard.

As I write this comment, my bf is preparing dinner (we don’t live together, clearly, per handbook). He also made dinner last night. Admittedly I paid for some of the ingredients at the store. The night before that, we went out and he paid. The night before that, he made dinner.

I just went in the kitchen and asked if he needed help, and he said no, he had it handled. As I sit here on the couch on Reddit, I’ve had to stop intrusive feelings of, “Am I doing enough? Should I help? Can I be doing something??”

We need to only accept men who add value to our lives and live life on our terms. But from the time we are handed baby dolls, we are praised for being caretakers and being “sweet.” It’s a total mindshift to prioritize yourself. I find myself in the trap all the time where I try to crazily do more to prove myself - why? Because women aren’t socialized to do what we want.

SkiesEclipse · 2021-10-03T19:30:23+00:00

When will men realize sitting back and letting the woman run the whole household, infantilizes themselves? No woman wants to feel like her husbands mom, and when they do, they sure as hell don’t want to fuck a man they see as a son.

ArtisticBrilliant491 · 2021-10-03T23:09:31+00:00

1,000%!!! Yes, throw the entire man out. Realizing that my ex-partner had no interest whatsoever in contributing to the household chores was one of my first signs that he was a narcissist. I begged, pleaded, negotiated, and even made a damn Excel spreadsheet just to get this turd to contribute in any way. The neighbors thought that I had gotten divorced cuz they only ever saw me outside doing yard work. 😆 It is beneath him to do these things, I guess.

Well, I woke up when I got Shingles. I had an intense job, a toddler, and a "partner" who couldn't be bothered with a dish or some trash take-out. This kind of reluctance to help your partner with the tedious and gross stuff of life is the ultimate form of disrespect in my humble opinion. If ya can't take out the garbage for us, are you really going to be there when I need you? The answer was resoundingly no, so he's getting left. I'm getting the luxury of only having to clean up after myself and daughter.

NotSoBunny · 2021-10-03T15:12:35+00:00

Facts. Vet, vet, vet too their words don't equal their actions majority of the time. So just cause he says he does these things doesn't mean he actually does

lilac-hiraeth · 2021-10-03T15:30:03+00:00

I don’t even have to make chore charts for my children! They see something that needs to be tidied, and they do it. Definitely not getting some shiny stickers and a chart for a grown ass man.

ferociouslycurious · 2021-10-03T15:56:00+00:00

They’ll change after marriage, too. Because what they do before is to earn you and they see the work as finished after the wedding. And it doesn’t matter how long you’re in a relationship beforehand.

OptionalCookie · 2021-10-03T16:04:31+00:00

You have to remind men and yourself... If this man won't do X ... Another man will.

night_glitter · 2021-10-04T00:05:53+00:00

I’ve never known a woman who got divorced and said, “wow, you know I never realized, he really did do half or more of the cleaning!” Omg. The hours of my life that I would’ve spent cleaning up after my ex-husband are now just for me. It’s a relief. I cannot believe how much more time I have now.

resilientspirit · 2021-10-03T19:42:13+00:00

100% accurate. My ex husband wouldn't do his share, and I ended up in a psych ward. Dude after that was a covert narc.

Fiance actually pulls his weight. If I cook, he cleans. If he cooks, I clean. We both care for my kids, do laundry, all of it. I'm the breadwinner, he wakes 30-35 hours a week, do takes on extra.

DarbyGirl · 2021-10-04T13:20:32+00:00

Also beware of the one who "helps" but makes it your decision each time. What do I mean by this? My LVM ex was always asking me "Do you want me to <fill in the blank>". It was nice at first but over time it became EXHAUSTING to be the one to make every. single. decision. It eventually got to the point where he wouldn't do anything unless I asked him to first.

bunsmoria · 2021-10-04T00:59:28+00:00

“You replace him” yes sis! I just lol because I love it! Good. Yess no need to waste time! They’d do it, if they want to!

xinxenxun · 2021-10-03T19:26:46+00:00

Make your lives easier, throw away everything and anyone who doesn't bring you any joy!

TellCerseeItWasMe · 2021-10-03T17:34:10+00:00

Best advice

fairywakes · 2021-10-03T19:02:11+00:00

Queen Shit ❤️‍🔥

Conscious-Remote3840 · 2021-10-03T15:38:47+00:00

I (37) married a younger man (32), and I wish I'd vetted him more. He has no clue. I once stopped washing his clothes in an attempt to get him to use the washing machine and he ruined his work suit/shirt, a while set of school uniforms, and a favourite jumper of mine. Definitely make sure any potential mate knows how to use a washing machine.

peachesncream89 · 2022-06-26T02:51:32+00:00

Never feel pressured to conform to the patriarchy, if they had it their way, you would be a bang maid/a women to raise his children. Men are huuuuge bluffers and judging by these male podcasts coming out left right and centre, they’re getting more desperate to reinforce the breaking patriarchy 💀…the divorce rate is at an all time high and it’s 80% women initiating. Modern men are entitled and delusional I’m convinced it’s a mental illness at this point. I have been with my bf for nearly 4 years now, I don’t live with him. In the early stages he tried to push a few boundaries (asking to clean his kitchen or take the trash out) and I literally told him NO, I’m your guest have some manners. He was too embarrassed to ask again. I have no plans for marriage or children atm, but if do..he better step tf up or I’m quick to move on with a divorce and start making co parenting arrangements lmao my main goal is a child to love anyways

The simple, foolproof way to get your partner to contribute his fair share to chores, cooking, and household management.

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kickhimout2021 😁

Title	The simple, foolproof way to get your partner to contribute his fair share to chores, cooking, and household management.
Author	Sage_Planter
Upvotes	1995
Comments	65
Date	October 3, 2021 3:09 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/q0jmgy/the_simple_foolproof_way_to_get_your_partner_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/the-simple-foolproof-way-to-get-your-partner-to.1077975 https://theredarchive.com/post/1077975