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glendoraza
[–]McccyFDS Disciple 446 points447 points448 points 4 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link
A good question is how is her ex not in jail yet,
[–]YellowsunflowerloverFDS Newbie 246 points247 points248 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Because it’s not taken seriously. I got a TPO from a judge on my ex. She was a woman. I went to trial for a whole year. This time a man. And even with evidence, my ex walked. I wish DV was taken seriously. You literally have to be on deaths door at times, for people to open their eyes and see what danger you’re in. It’s a sad world.
[–]frodosdojoFDS Newbie 112 points113 points114 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
So, true. I was told by a judge that I needed to have bruises and broken bones to get a restraining order and she was a woman. It wasn't taken seriously by my ex- county. When I did get one, after my eye socket was broken, they refused to enforce it.
[–]ExistentialJellyFDS Newbie 86 points87 points88 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Once you do come forward with evidence, they then ask why you didn't come forward before it escalated to injury.
It's absolute idiocy.
[–]frodosdojoFDS Newbie 33 points34 points35 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh, boy, that's terrible. I'm glad you escaped. I called whenever I was threatened. On the first report, the officer wrote I said I was being picked on. I never said that. But he wrote that to downplay what happened. I would have never known if I didn't go down to the police station and pay for a copy.
[–]CloacaDiddlerFDS Disciple 22 points23 points24 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I can’t even read this thread because, even as someone who hasn’t suffered DV, it infuriates me how many women have gone through so much and nobody gives a shit. Pick any time in history, spin in a circle, and point at a woman and she’s probably had to avoid male violence or been helpless to it while others looked on. When will society wake up
[–]mxmoonFDS Newbie 81 points82 points83 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My ex strangled me. I fled barefoot with my then babies on my hips. He was never arrested. Even ran for office a couple of months later.
[–]creamtart_FDS Apprentice 195 points196 points197 points 4 years agolocked comment (12 children) | Copy Link
Domestic violence is not taken seriously enough. She could be within an inch of her life and cops would still be on the fence about laying charges.
Meanwhile, a black person will be walking while black and four cops are already staring them down ready to make an arrest.
[–]rosa_sallyFDS Newbie 122 points123 points124 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I’ve seen it with my own eyes. The police will arrest you if a beat up a stranger in the street but beat up your own partner and they’re no where near as bothered.
[–]kwallioFDS Newbie 38 points39 points40 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The police will arrest you if a beat up a stranger in the street
Well, kind of. If its a man beating on a woman the police will assume its DV, even if they don't know each other.
[–]thowawaywookieFDS Newbie 21 points22 points23 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's probably the reason, DV is in a separate category than regular violence. DV = misunderstanding, not taken seriously, may or may not be arrested
Regular violence = Serious, arrested and charged.
[–]MeanCow6Pickmeisha™️ 69 points70 points71 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
"Domestic" violence is a special kind of violence that isn't as serious, doncha know.
[–]jupitaur9FDS Newbie 48 points49 points50 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
They don’t count DV shootings as mass shootings even if there are enough victims to qualify otherwise. That way, they don’t have to look into the cause.
Which is usually misogyny. It’s just “domestic,” as if that’s an actual answer.
[–]thowawaywookieFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Violence against women, not considered a hate crime when it should be.
[–]frustratedmarxistfemFDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes though it's important to remember that black men get away with domestic violence the same way white men do. It is completely incorrect to assume that it is different, especially since many/most of the victims are black women. Its even harder to be taken seriously, as well, as the black community believes that if he had done it, he'd definitely be in jail, so you must be lying.
When black men abuse women they do something that white men condone, white men extend their privilege to them(in the form of male privilege) in order to continue the oppression of women, which they view as more immediately important. Remember the cop coming to write your story is likely a woman abuser as well and will view him more kindly.
[–]VodkaFairyFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's because cops are statistically more likely to be abusers than the average man. They're not going to take DV seriously. ACAB.
[–]alxndraboFDS Newbie 77 points78 points79 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think there is a pattern of violent men in her life. I hope she breaks free.
[–]shockingupdateFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I hope so too. Whether it's fake or not, she views violence and aggression as a positive aspect in her current relationships. Girl that's your trauma talking, please seek help
[–]Sage_PlanterFDS Disciple 553 points554 points555 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
It's all fun and games until the ex presses charges against the current bf.
I wouldn't want my boyfriend to fight my ex. It's just not a good situation for anyone.
[–]glendorazaFDS Newbie[S] 187 points188 points189 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I was wondering that myself. I understood the intention but also was worried about the legal aspect.
When men press charges, they are likelier to be listened to. Yet, they get away with domestic violence over and over
[–]ASeaOfQuotesFDS Apprentice 186 points187 points188 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yep, and who is going to protect her then?
Retaliation is immature, shows a deregulation of emotions, and violent tendencies. She doesn’t need a white knight, she needs a partner.
[–]MeanCow6Pickmeisha™️ 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Doesn't sound like much of a "fight" to me. Sounds more like corporal punishment.
[–]ShittyPianistFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ngl tho, I'd be up for it happening once, just for the justice porn.
[–]radfem_babeFDS Newbie 172 points173 points174 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I may get some flack for this, but if it was just one time, the current bf wailing on the old bf, I would be okay with it. Four times, its a violence problem and I would be worried.
I also respect the other ladies in the comments who think its all a huge red flag. Going from one violent man to another. A peaceful man is high value.
I find a man who will protect me and defend me. Very attractive.
I too share this mindset.
If it was repeatedly, I'd begin to suspect that the man was with me to fulfill a weird, extreme "white knight" kink.
[–]lessadessaFDS Newbie 122 points123 points124 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Seems fake
[–]GiraffeLibrarianFDS Newbie 68 points69 points70 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
True, no such thing as a male king.
Edit: thanks for all the downvotes, lurking scrotes. Don’t waste your breath DMing, I’m only going to laugh at how pathetic you are.
[–]DontAskTwice-A-RoniFDS Newbie 238 points239 points240 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Avoid fights like the plague. Not just because you can be charged with assault, but because someone can seriously get hurt, and it doesn’t have to be you getting hurt for it to be a problem.
The term “one punch homicide” comes to mind. There have been several cases where two men get into an argument, one man punches the other just one time, and the other guy dies as a result of the injury. The man is then charged and finds himself staring down the barrel of 25 years to life.
It’s never worth it. Stay safe, and be careful. Only fight in self defense and only if you’ve exhausted other options. That’s my advice anyhow.
[–]chasingshoesalesFDS Newbie 44 points45 points46 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My narc ex was upset I was hanging out with one of our mutual friends post break up. This was after he abused, stalked, and coerced me to drop charges against him. The friend lived with a group of guys who were all in the same friend group. Because my ex kept coming by and threatening to beat him up, he told them not to allow him in. They kept allowing him in. At one point he told the group that he was just going to keep coming by and harassing him all hours of the night through text until my friend snaps so that when he lays a hand on him he had reason to stab him. He also showed them he was walking around with a knife at all times to make sure he’s ready for that moment. My friend’s roommates told him about the plan but continued letting him come by. This all happened because narc ex saw me in his room ONCE and I was clearly doing a business transaction (buying weed).
This taught me that crazy exes are 9/10 men! I never heard of a woman acting this bonkers. Also male friends do NOTHING about having straight up evil friends. They just accept them cause that’s their “bro”. They literally have more loyalty to male psychopaths than any woman in their lives.
[–]radsera99FDS Newbie 214 points215 points216 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I was going to say I love it because karma but I read the comments and now I’m not so sure … anyways I hope the girl is ok
[–]her-vagestyFDS Newbie 116 points117 points118 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Same lol I commented before reading the comments from mature people 😂 maybe I'm just too vengeful
[–]radsera99FDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah haha it’s only natural but the fact that he’s so violent is definitely questionable
[–]the_jaywalkerFDS Newbie 95 points96 points97 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yeah coming up next on things that never happened....
[–]shockingupdateFDS Newbie 26 points27 points28 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah, I'm calling bullshit. This is one of three things:
[–]circescircusRuthless Strategist 192 points193 points194 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I think there's a good chance her current BF is just violent and enjoys having an excuse to beat someone up. Like there is a chance him beating up her ex 4 times has little to do with her.
Even if he is doing this for her honor-- it's better to have a boyfriend who isn't in jail and convicted as a violent felon. It's easier to live a good life when you don't have to worry about being in a prison cell, or when you don't have to worry about your significant other being in a prison cell.
[–]MyLifeIsWandsXIIIFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I wouldn't really want my current bf to be put at risk of either getting a one way trip to the ER at the hands of my ex, possibly dying, or being sent to jail so this is gonna be a no from me. I am not attracted to violent men either. If anything, I would much rather have his emotional support if that happened to me instead of having him go fight my ex like a feral gorilla let out of his enclosure.
[–]whiskey_and_oreosFDS Newbie 182 points183 points184 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I hate the ownership implication. Ex scrote damaged current scrote's property, so current scrote lashes out.
A HVM would support you by going with you to the hospital, filing a police report and restraining order, helping you out around the house while you heal, and setting up cameras around the house for safety and peace of mind. Both these men are garbage.
[–]Outrageous-KnowledgeFDS Newbie 65 points66 points67 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. I don’t think this is cute at all.
[–]Struggleis4realFDS Newbie 96 points97 points98 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And if this woman is accustomed to violence in her relationships, she might believe that this dysfunction is normal and then justify the current bf’s violence as “protection”. ):
[–]Altowhovian93Pickmeisha™️ 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think she needs to move away from her ex and her new man does not sound like an improvement.
[–]Superb-Cancel9071FDS Newbie 32 points33 points34 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This ain't it. He's not defending her in the moment. It's premeditated. Any show of violence that's not a defensive response to an immediate threat is a MASSIVE red flag and you need to block and delete immediately.
[–]SturmFeeFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Two wrongs don't make a right.
[–]Potential-Bid-245FDS Newbie 62 points63 points64 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That is terrifying. The new boyfriend is going to turn that rage toward her and beat her up in the near future.
[–]08__80FDS Apprentice 31 points32 points33 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So she traded one violent clown for another. This is not a cute story.
[–]sassyheatherFDS Apprentice 37 points38 points39 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just my 2 cents: my ex tried to r.pe me; my current boyfriend didn’t try to do the same to my ex and I wouldn’t want him to. I would much rather prefer my boyfriend do exactly what he did - listened, understood my trauma and made everything about me being understood and helped and not him executing revenge on my ex.
[–]EurasianEmpressFDS Newbie 21 points22 points23 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would want a man who would be willing and able to do this for me, but if there are other ways to ruin the ex’s life without facing charges himself then that’d be better.
[–]wonkyeyes8877FDS Newbie 20 points21 points22 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nah. The ex needs to have charges pressed against him and a restraining order.
[–]Salt_SatisfactionFDS Disciple 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Assuming this is real, I simply don't trust people who can be violent if it's not some form of self-defence. Often when someone uses violence for a "just" cause it can seem justified, but they can easily start applying the justice concept arbitrarily and it just leads to more aggression.
A HVM would help her build a case against the ex so he can be in jail and he'd help find a strategy so the ex can never get near her again, even better if they find a way of warning other women.
Beating the ex up four times shows he is capable of considerable violence and shows poor judgment because he can also end up in jail and he can get killed or seriously injured. It could weaken her case too if they take the ex to court. For once, the term white knight - and an unstable one at that - is justified.
[–]I_know_right_AS_IFFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My recent ex used to talk about wanting to fight my other ex...and it was just ridiculous. I'd tell him to stop talking like that. It's just unattractive. It's also a red flag, imo. He also made a joke about that ex dying...I was not happy with that and told him so.
The more I talk about this ex, the more relieved I am that the relationship ended 😓
[–]yesbutnouFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I feel like this is fake. Why is the boyfriend not in jail? Why didn’t she get a restriction order? If the ex presses charges against them they could possibly both end in jail. I mean the girl maybe no but the current boyfriend for sure would end up in jail.
[–]AyemHerselfFDS Disciple 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Why and how did they meet up on 4 separate occasions? One of them is trying to find the other and that's not okay.
[–]MisandryFTWFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It sounds like she found a second violent man. :(
[–]Wild_ArtioFDS Newbie 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No. Sounds like some Larry king live bs.
[–]Big-Respond8481FDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If he csn beat up anothrr man in a heartbeat he sure can do it to her......
[–]Joohoneybee_002FDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would be okay with it once only because guy needs to see what it’s like fighting someone his own size instead of a woman. But repeatedly fighting him afterwards is over the top. That’s something that should be able to be settled once. Better yet, give him some legal consequences for the beating he committed in the first place.
Either way, I’m here for assholes getting punished for trashy actions.
[–]Latter_Ostrich2875FDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’d want to get revenge and i want a partner who feels the same but I get why that might be a bad thing
[–]her-vagestyFDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Most men only say they'd do this to the ex to make themselves look brave. I like a man who is true to his word.
[–]AriaLuzFDS Apprentice 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My ex almost broke my arm and my hand in a drunken rage. Forgive me if I have trust issues.
[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
men advocating for violence towards other men and justifying it as care for a woman = not kings but trash.
how does that help the woman in question? she needs therapy not her ex becoming more and more incentivized by the assault her now-bf perpetrates.
she exchanged one LVM for another.
[–]dancedancedance7FDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Her current guy isn't much better than the ex. The smart move would be to press charges and get a restraining order, which would actually protect her somewhat. Beating the guy up just builds aggression.
[–]sewingmachinesaviorFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s only a matter of time until current BF violence is turned on her.
A HVM would never do this. He would elevate his woman’s status and ensure her safety in non violent ways unless the ex came back as a direct and intentional threat.
[–]feelgoodlost_FDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Let’s take a road trip, we want to talk toooo. What’s crazy is for the average run of the mill scrote you tell this too, they take note to do whatever happened times ten. Trust issues and intuition keep you safe from men whose gas tank is evil and lies.
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