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purpleveteran Archive

View 6 posts and 543 comments by purpleveteran on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

Fuck, this was me 4 years ago, literally. Check my post history. I actually confronted her, bawled my eyes out, and sulked for over a week. Then I swallowed the pill. Set up a home gym, started a C25K program, and started working on my shit and stopped worrying about her vagina. Lost 60 pounds in 4 months, read the entire sidebar, and started rebuilding my frame brick by brick. My god, I can't believe how long I walked on eggshells... trying to live up to some storybook image that she had in her…
/r/askMRP23/03/20 04:44 AM
2

Be attractive. Don't be unattractive. Seriously... you can be Brad Pitt, but if you have poor hygiene or whine like a bitch, you ain't getting it. See also: The top 78% of women are fighting over the top 20% of men
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/19 10:14 PM
9

Being the life of the party is part leadership and part performance. No matter how alpha you are, you have to have your priorities, and that doesn’t mean playing a particular role when it’s not desirable or necessary. You can — no, you must — be able to say “No, Thanks” without feeling guilty or regret. Whether it’s “down time”, “deload week”, or delegating to your First Officer, managing your own mental and physical health are a key part of keeping frame. Stepping back also shows trust, builds …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/19 03:30 PM
1

We're in the confessional here. You don't actually care what these people feel do you? So why act like you do. He does care... that’s the whole crux of his problem. He cares about offending the woman. He cares what the priest thinks. Hell, his wife is throwing hissy fits at the very suggestion that he may be giving fewer fucks. The sooner he stops caring what others think or feel, and realizes that he is only responsible to himself and his mission, the sooner he can start making forward progress…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/19 03:39 AM
3

An older friend went in for knee surgery last fall. He did great, jumped hard into PT, and was really making good progress. Then he slipped and fell badly on the ice. Tore up tendons and ligaments, and got a serious infection on top of that. Four months later, he’s still stuck inside and can barely get around. Not sure if he’ll ever fully recover. Take nothing for granted about your health. Do the hard work, respect your limits, and expect the unexpected. Nice post OP.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/19 03:26 PM
1

I’m trying to figure out why you are trying so hard to fix your wife’s problems, instead of your own. Why should she listen to you about getting help, when you don’t have your own shit in a pile? Stop making appointments and decisions for her. She’s clearly capable of doing that. What she wants is a man who can be that decisive about his own life.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/19 01:55 AM
1

I got you bro... I'm in my late 40s, only been back to lifting for ~3 years now but posting decent numbers (1rm: 265 Bench, 425 Squat). My program is built around a 6day PPL, but I've changed it up over time as my goals have evolved. The first thing to understand is that you don't need to go at 90% max each session. Lifting that close to your limits will fatigue your (fast-twitch) muscles much faster than more moderate weights, which means you can't perform as many sets. When you are fatigued, i…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/19 03:31 AM
7

Same here... I don’t want someone to stay with me out of force of habit, or because she fears the uncertainty. I want someone who grabs my ass when I walk by, notices when someone else notices me, and doesn’t blink at a dude 10 years younger and 20lbs leaner, because she already has hers. Be her oak and her alpha, not just a consolation prize.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/19 02:30 AM
12

The first thing I did on my journey was to clear out a room in the basement and start doing bodyweight work: deep knee bends, sit ups, and walking for 30 minutes in the morning. In the evenings, I scoured CL and used sports stores for deals on equipment, but ended up just buying new -- a power rack, a starter olympic weight set, and some gym mats. All told, about $600, and it has been the best investment of my life. The weight loss and general fitness are second to the discipline and confidence …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/19 05:02 PM
-5

Because Jesus says so?
/r/askMRP27/10/18 10:15 PM
1

6’4” 275. Doing my biometric shit next week, but I got an easy 20lbs on my gut. I really am a fat fuck. Pushing through to my goal of 4 plate squat and 275 bench for my RP anniversary in Feb, then time to cut at a 500 cal deficit until it’s all gone.
/r/askMRP11/10/18 03:25 AM
3

comes up to him and does the power move bicep grab and says "Hey chief, the smoking section is over there".* This guy will go to these events and lean into someone to act tough in front of his GF, because he knows that most people won’t stand up in such a situation. I bet he was a decent sized guy too, used to being intimidating, but he decided that maybe an actual confrontation with 2 huge dudes wasn’t gonna go well. No tingles for the GF today. Your brother handled it well, neither escalating …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/18 11:04 AM
1

True. I wouldn't have given him even odds against crashing and burning at the start. That steel was fucking *forged*. Which is why I want to see where OP's journey takes him. I suspect there is more emotion than conviction, but either way, it should be a good object lesson.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/18 04:22 PM
1

I sympathize with the guys who think they've got it all figured out after x months, or those who pull the pin and escape a horrible marriage -- it feels good to win. But sweeping advice from someone on a manic upswing should be taken with a grain of salt. Now, there are plenty of folks here (2guns, ex-addict) who have put in the time and hard work, and have the scars to prove it. I don't see so many of them extolling the virtues of "provide value or GTFO", but maybe I missed it. We all want to c…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/18 03:43 PM
3

I don't doubt that burning it down adds value to your life. There are plenty of women who aren't worth staying with, who don't return the value that we've invested in them. You don't have to convince us... the stories on this sub are endless. This perspective and renewed energy you've found is great, but it's the basis of TRP or MGTOW, not some new transcendent state. You do you. Be that guy for now, enjoy the ride, but remember that Tyler Durden may be the "hero" of Fight Club, but he's a hallu…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/18 03:54 AM
3

He's in the throes of divorce, and he's bucking himself up to embrace this new life of freedom and self-actualization. Good for him. But he's convinced himself that this is all about shedding weight and winning. > All in the past 90 days. Yeah, too fresh. OP: go slay some strange, bro, you deserve it. Come back in a year and tell us again if that is the lifestyle you still embrace.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/18 03:37 AM
3

Sure, it's titled "Stratosphere", but his entire thesis can be summed up with these lines: > The goal of every relationship should be to provide no more value than you extract. [...] Everything else is mental masturbation and a waste of your time. [...] Have the balls to burn it all down. This isn't about making a constructive change in his life, it's about saying "fuck you" to women.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/18 02:54 AM
5

There are days when the value I bring to my marriage greatly outweighs that of my wife's contributions. There have also been many where the balance has tipped the other way. And there have been plenty where I sulked because I still wasn't getting everything I thought I deserved (she wasn't sucking my pee-pee as much as I wanted). The biggest thing that MRP taught me was that I need to stop focusing on the scoreboard and get my head back in the game. Killing the covert contracts I'd built up arou…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/18 02:10 AM
3

Dunno, sounds like denial to me. Hey guys, I broke through to the other side and it's paradise here. Don't be afraid to burn it all down. And don't listen to the haters, they don't have my perspective and insight. I mean, great for SF. He's welcome to enjoy his new freedoms, and there's nothing better than being a "man of the world" for a while, but to insist that relationships are only valuable if you're the one who "wins" is myopic.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/18 01:34 AM
1

What makes you think the expected value has to be equal both ways? Do you really care if your wife or your plates are getting a fair shake? As long as each offers you enough value to be worth the costs, what's the difference to you? What about your kids? Do they add enough value to your life to justify the cost in money and time? Seems like a huge drain to me that someone with your clarity would eliminate.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/18 01:22 AM
2

He works during the summers and breaks, and was going to work this fall. But if the choice is between 10-15 hours for 3k of income or 8k of scholarship, then his "job" this year is getting the scholarship back.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/09/18 03:02 PM
1

It's been a few months since my last check-in. Physical M47 / 6'4" / 275 / 2y7m on Journey Lift 6x a week, modified PPL. Bench: 245, Squat: 365, DL: none Run 5 miles 3x a week, walk 3.5-4 miles 3-4x a week. I've been quite consistent on my lifts and cardio, but stalled for a while over the summer. I then spent about 2 months trying out a few different programs, with a focus on more volume, but honestly I bounced around a bit. I've settled on Smolov Jr for bench, GVT for rows, and a tweaked versi…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/09/18 04:14 AM
1

Accountability, Boundaries, and Validation.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/09/18 01:51 AM
22

Wow, that's a wall of text. So, when your wife says, "That's what married people are supposed to do," she really means, "That's what I want you to do" - but she's invoking "the marriage" as some higher authority than herself. It's true. When I play soccer, the other players complain that I'm not staying in my lane, communicating my intentions, or you know, listening to them. As if they have any say in how I play, like being on a "team" gives them the right to tell me how to play. But then I get …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/08/18 09:09 PM
20

I'm not sure you understand what "subliminal" means. It's certainly not saying the words outright -- that's simply called communication.
/r/TheRedPill27/08/18 03:26 PM
1

No shit... OP is *asking* his wife to kiss/fuck/love him. He needs to read up on the 10 second kiss -- take her in his arms, pin her against the fridge, and savor the moment. It's not necessarily about dominance, but focus and intensity.
/r/askMRP30/06/18 01:46 AM
3

It goes away when you realize that the person you're most angry at is yourself... for believing in the Disney fantasy, for being a fat lazy slob, for settling instead of leading, and for taking so long to figure it all out.
/r/askMRP19/05/18 12:15 AM
8

He does what he's told... respects women, does his assigned chores, etc. This also means he doesn't take the initiative, doesn't recognize and manage the underlying dynamic in his household or his marriage. Poor fucker. This was me a couple years ago.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/18 03:38 AM
2

What he's saying is that it's not about the $200... You're a fucktard who pissed away his savings for 8 months without finding a job, got his wife pregnant because he can't practice safe sex, and then had the gall to argue about splitting the bill for her abortion. The only AWALT here is that she's dealing with some serious emotional decisions, and now realizing that she is married to a man-child. Apologize to her or don't, it doesn't matter as much as getting your shit into a pile.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/18 04:08 AM
1

Dunno about psycho, but she sounds like she's on the spectrum.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/18 04:20 AM
2

My mother is Mother Theresa herself, always suffering and we need to suffer alongside her. This is a learned behaviour pattern on both her part and ours. From the horse's mouth.
/r/askMRP26/04/18 05:21 AM
1

The only thing I would add to the "fit" entry is to find pants that taper, but aren't skin tight either.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/18 09:33 PM
4

If this is the first time this kind of thing happened (especially if she's young), maybe she got carried away by the attention, and just needed a reminder that you don't tolerate this shit. Or maybe she really was interested in the guy. Or maybe she was testing you. Still, if she's giving him eyes and touching him in front of you, then she's probably not worth your time. From her tone afterword, she already resents you and it's just a matter of time before she moves on (or gives you another reas…
/r/TheRedPill25/04/18 09:04 PM
1

she hits that infamous wall, and settles for motherfucking Plan B. You seem to be arguing against yourself here, that men fall into one category or the other, for all time. This sub is full of "good enough" guys, that were decent looking, charming, and could pull women, but who got comfortable and just put it on cruise control. Sixty hours a week on the treadmill, wife never lost the baby fat, and your college antics were left behind just like her cock carousel. Regular nights out become monthly…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/18 04:58 PM
3

Damn near killed um!
/r/askMRP10/04/18 01:46 PM
1

I wish I'd started training my grip sooner, but better late than never. Also, Kroc rows for life!
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/18 01:57 AM
1

You can treat it as a compound for both areas, or support your arms to work your wrists in isolation.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/18 01:55 AM
1

Curls do use your forearms, but really are made to strengthen your biceps. Holds and carries also require grip strength, but time under static tension will only get you so far. Real hypertrophy comes from working the muscle group, flexing and releasing repeatedly. The muscles of your forearms are primarily responsible for controlling your fingers and wrists. They tend to be thin but numerous, allowing small motions and fine control. Your wrists are capable of 4 primary movements: Flexion (Wrist …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/18 07:07 PM
3

The inspiration for my post was that I just picked up a length of 2" PVC and a 6' nylon dog leash to make my own trainer, instead of a barbell, so that I can have a larger range of motion. There are lots of ways to get started on the cheap -- the point is to get started. At just 15 minutes 3 times a week, it won't take long to see the benefits.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/18 06:29 PM
19

That's a lot of words. The difference between TRP and MRP is simple: TRP is Prisoner's Dilemma: Short term relationships, genetic diversity. Spinning plates, low cost / investment. Each relationship is a goal unto itself. Make a bad play, game ends and players move on. MRP is Iterated Prisoner's Dilemma: Long term commitments, stable provider. High cost / investment, legal / parental entanglement. History is factored into the next "round" of play. What we call "blue pill" is just refusal to opti…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/18 04:10 AM
2

So let me get this straight... Her family has been telling her you're an asshole for a while. You get insecure about how they talk about you, but... You don't bother to go to family events to demonstrate otherwise. You give her an ultimatum, "me or them", and she chose them. Well, someone clearly dodged a bullet here.
/r/TheRedPill18/03/18 01:26 AM
2

Everything and everyone around you is waiting for you to fail, or more likely, doesn't give a fuck. According to objective reality, you are a bit of flotsam subject to and responding to forces outside your control. It's all cause and effect, entropy and predestination. Your subjective reality, on the other hand, is shaped by you. Are you an actor or victim? Do you react, or do you act? Are you outnumbered and overwhelmed, or an island of purpose and restraint? Do you make excuses for failure, or…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/18 03:13 PM
7

if you start down a path to a goal, that you will come to find that the universe is on your side. Fuck that. The universe doesn't give a shit about your goals, unless it's to pull you back down into the bucket of conformity and mediocrity. You decide to make the change. You make the change. The universe catches up.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/18 10:16 PM
2

These are almost all tier 2 lifts or accessories. There's nothing wrong with doing them, even at high reps... but only as a follow up to the tier 1 compound lifts: Barbell Bench, Squats, Deadlifts, Rows. There are several 5-day programs in the r/fitness wiki that would be a much better use of your gym time. If you prefer DB Bench to Barbell, fine, but your T1 working sets should generally be 3x5 or 5x5 and heavy -- that's where the strength comes from. After that, supplement with T2 lifts for vo…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/17 05:46 AM
1

I'm not saying you can't learn from people's mistakes. The most valuable field reports are actual reports on what the author did, how it worked, and what he learned from that. What we get these days are second-hand stories and gossip. Who fucking cares that you met a chick who was mental, or that your bro keeps repeating his BP mistakes? I think we can all agree that the world is full of dumb and shitty people. Talk about yourself, share your own experience. There's a weekly MRP megathread on "o…
/r/TheRedPill14/12/17 06:19 PM
24

Fuck that... 80% of the FRs posted here are either "I was banging this chick and she admitted a RP truth" or "my friend was so beta, and his shitty GF did something shitty -- AWALT." You want to live by anecdotes of what other people say or do? Fine, but that's not improving yourself, just reinforcing your existing mindset -- whether RP or otherwise. Here's a lesson... Kill your addictions: put down the cigarette, bong or game controller, and stop seeking validation from those around you. Take c…
/r/TheRedPill14/12/17 02:20 PM
1

Now if you truly ran SL to the point of absolute failure on multiple lifts after multiple resets, then I stand corrected, but if you switched for any other reason it’s most likely just ego and hamster. I had several periods where I plateaued on my 5x5 lifts, and resetting my progression by 10-15% didn't always help blow through them. At that point, it's reasonable to switch things up a bit -- run 3x8 for a few cycles, or switch to 5x3 and practice moving something heavy. I found that increasing …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/17 05:49 PM
2

I've worked out consistently over that year, 3 days a week with 1-2 days of BJJ. I started off doing SL5X5, moved to a program a friend .... blah blah. [...] I've never just gone to the gym and fucked around - I want to be in and out, so I get in, follow the plan, and leave. Right now the plan I'm on is very focused on body mechanics, light weights for higher reps, etc. Even reading the comments, I don't see what your current lifts or program is. Just because you are moving weights doesn't mean …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/17 07:00 AM
2

Mine was waiting for me to get my shit into a pile. My "main event" was basically just my victim puke to her. Many men who come here are much further behind than I was (or have a much shittier wife), so I consider myself lucky.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/17 07:38 PM
2

She confesses that her weekend with her friends was awful, and that they were the ones really accusing me of having an affair. She uses my words and phrases when she says these things. Her friends were only going on the narrative and details as she framed them. It's what women do -- they serve as an echo chamber, validating her feelings and her fears. If she wanted to brag about you instead, they'd agree with her that you were a saint (at least overtly). What you need to pull from this is that s…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/17 04:20 AM
2

You did good for most part. But this woman seems insane and a drama queen You think this was a successful interaction? All we've gotten is his side of the story, about how he's laid a boundary and how she overreacted. But he has (a) no frame to enforce any boundaries, (b) no capital to bring to the table except her green card, and (c) no plan for getting there. He's not winning anything, just escalating each interaction until she concedes or goes off to sulk. If there's anyone bringing drama, it…
/r/askMRP27/11/17 05:26 PM
3

holy shit. she's just insane. She's not insane, she's just mirroring him. The relationship is fucked up because he's tolerated this so long, and now he's turned the knob completely the other direction and started throwing out boundaries that he simply can't enforce. If I was her, I'd think he was the one who's gone mental. And now he's played his trump card, the unspoken threat of deportation which is the only thing keeping her there at all... and just so he could avoid a 2 minute walk before go…
/r/askMRP27/11/17 05:10 PM
4

You need to build the life that you want, regardless of whether she stays or goes. This isn't engaging every time you disagree, but making a plan and seeing it through. Right now, you are Red Pill Rambo, turning every difference of opinion into this is the hill I'm going to die on. especially after my mess up when she went on holiday for 5 weeks Man, that was your dry run for building frame. What would you do if she wasn't in your life? Or if she was just a plate that sometimes stayed over? What…
/r/askMRP27/11/17 04:57 PM
4

End of story. I caught fish the next day. You think this is the "main event"? I mean, congratulations, you stood up to her. You threatened to nuke the marriage and have her deported. That's one point in your column, but seriously, for what -- so that you could go fishing? What really did you win here, apart from some a few days or weeks of coerced sex and affection? Do you see what I'm asking? You say you swallowed the pill a year ago, but I don't think you've actually internalized anything. Gre…
/r/askMRP27/11/17 06:01 AM
2

She's there to get those feels, and to observe a man in power. If she goes out without you, also be aware that she's going to observe men in power as well. Just as men are always aware of the most attractive woman in the room, this is what we mean when we say AWALT. Really good stuff!
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/17 04:09 AM
1

Yeah, I got an egg timer in Sept to keep my sessions on track. No more 2+ hours because I was finger-fucking my phone.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/17 03:56 PM
1

I gave myself a couple weeks off to hit my marks. Already back on the wagon.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/17 03:54 PM
2

That's part of the challenge... I wouldn't mind approaching, but I live and volunteer in a small town, so not much opportunity outside our circle. Work is scaling over 60 hours a week, and I don't shit where I eat. I've tried a few cooking classes, but I'm often the youngest person there. I will be trying a few sessions at the heavy bag gym starting this week, and looking for other outside activities. In the meantime, I'm re-reading Day Bang. I will be working on just engaging more with people -…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/17 03:23 AM
2

To grow, try weighted pulls every other session. Well, my problem is too much weight right now. Most advice is to do assisted pulls or negatives, but my home gym is just a power rack in the basement with <7' ceilings. I don't get full ROM, and even just hanging, I have to hold my feet up. I haven't tried elastic bands or anything for assists, but I have worked on negatives and hanging longer. I've never had much upper body strength, and my bench was sorely stalled for a while. After TFA's March …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/17 05:20 PM
2

Yeah, I have a set that I use for DLs. Will give them a try.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/17 12:50 PM
1

It's been a while since I posted any updates, so here's a bit of background for those who don't know or remember me. When I started my journey on 2/1/16, I weighed 340 pounds. I didn't have a DBR, but after over 20 years of marriage, we were both headed there. I hadn't lifted since high school, so I ordered a squat rack and free weights, and before they arrived, I started just doing deep knee bends and walking for 30 minutes in the mornings. Typical dress was T-shirts and baggy jeans, and I was …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/17 05:59 AM
1

Well put.
/r/askMRP25/10/17 05:11 PM
1

My current goal going out is to be the guy who walks in and owns the place. It happens, and I'd be lying if I said soon after I start doubting it's authenticity. Social proof is great, but it's mercurial, especially if you dwell on it. "What's wrong with those people if they think I'm so great?" "Why did I say that? That's not the real me." It can feel like a sham, like you've managed to pull it off for a few hours, but you're still the same boring, unattractive, insecure person you've always be…
/r/askMRP25/10/17 04:47 PM
6

Your wife was a reflection of you, what you'd done and become in the 10 years you were together. She was boring because you were boring. These new women don't know you, just the image that they have from your brief interaction. You're something new, a bit of fun and mystery, so of course they are excited ... and exciting. But by the same token... I've been vetting 2 women for a couple weeks. Both high quality, How do you know that these are high quality women? That they are attractive, apparentl…
/r/askMRP25/10/17 03:41 PM
11

Women will say anything to justify their actions feelings. Give her words as much weight as you do your ex wife's opinion... a tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. The only voice that should matter is the one you hear when you're alone with your thoughts. The only image that should mean anything is what the mirror reflects back to you. The only goals that matter are the ones you have set for yourself.
/r/askMRP25/10/17 03:22 PM
1

Something like: We want so badly to relax, but when we do, when we step off the treadmill, we will be left behind. The answer though isn't a self sacrificial burnout, it's a balance. I like to think of it as stepping back after you complete a large project, appreciating your hard work while enjoying a cold one, before you move on to the next thing. It's not about taking your foot off the gas, but enjoying the ride. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill27/07/17 05:06 AM
4

Steak is high in iron... perhaps you had a deficiency before?
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/17 04:01 AM
2

It can't be used against her, but it can be used to counter allegations that she may make.
/r/askMRP23/07/17 05:15 AM
2

DL4 = demonstrating that you value your own time/attention/needs. This is putting WISNIFG into practice, and trading the "nice guy" mentality for one that recenters on yourself again. More importantly, you do this for yourself, not her, to establish your own frame and self-worth. In month 4, the 1000' rope is still playing out. This isn't about withdrawing or punishing her, but at most to show her that you are reevaluating your role and responsibilities in the relationship, and begin to conditio…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/17 02:50 AM
1

TV wakes me up. Fuck it, initiate again. [...] I leave the room. 20 minutes later, I come up, she is still on her phone. How many times are you going to come back begging for sex? Initiate once, and if she doesn't put away the phone or TV, then move on. Turn off the light and go to sleep, go lift a few extra reps, of take a ride to the supermarket for "something you forgot". But to keep rubbing your dick against her while she finger-fucks the phone is beta. She starts yelling at me about how I'm…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/07/17 07:40 PM
2

Instead, she's blowing up about little shit, stupid shit, yelling about nothing, and generally being bitchy. This reads more like anxiety than resentment. Sure, it's a change for the better, but it's still a change. What if it's longer hours? What if she's not happy? What if she's not up to the challenge? Perhaps this is an opportunity for some comfort and positive reinforcement?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/07/17 04:09 AM
1

That's playing with dynamite if you don't have the frame to pull it off.
/r/askMRP14/07/17 02:38 AM
1

Not sure how to handle her when she blows up about what I see as piddly shit. I've seen guys get the advice here to just laugh it off and go about their business, but she always says "and of course you have nothing to say. Why do I even talk to you..." And it feels like I'm not solving the problem when I go that route. "Why indeed?" What problem do you need to solve here? every time she comes back arround she seams a little more disconnected. Ah, you want her to like you. You need to understand …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/17 07:52 PM
2

If I remember correctly this is how shes always been, drunk captain or not, and it applies to everyone not just me. There are lots of possible causes for her behavior. It could just be that she had judgmental or narcissistic parents, and has that voice constantly playing in her head. She could be a type-A personality, focused on the bottom line or who sees intimacy as weakness. Or it could just be a basic lack of attraction, because you've been drunk so long that she's given up trying, and just …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/17 05:51 PM
3

From his own telling, he was clearly some sort of white knight. Either she just married him for the BB ("it was a bad time in my life"), or he let himself go and she started feeling the itch ("you're not the man I married", "we've just drifted apart"). But 100% agree on the covert contract. "I did all this for you, why won't you love me?" Then he's gonna divorce wife #2, and look for to another fixer-upper with the same problems ... and same expectations.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/17 08:04 PM
2

She swears it was a mistake, swears she wants to be with me. She's already established she's a liar, she has no loyalty or commitment If this is your conclusion, then you don't need our permission, because you'll never kill that thought and it will haunt you every day. But it seems strange that you spent all that time fixing her up, and never focused on yourself. What would her side of the story sound like -- would you still be the hero/victim?
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/17 06:43 PM
1

I stopped gaming her in general, not much kino or anything since in my mind I was giving her a pass on the sexy times and I wasn't going to initiate anyway. Be present, be comforting. You're not horny teenagers or dating any more, so that spark and intensity that you once shared has probably faded, but you (should) still have an intimate bond. Be her oak, and project the an emotional safe space where you both can let your guard down and share affection: Stroke her forearm lightly while you're ou…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/17 03:44 AM
58

No, it didn't seem like Will was bothered either way. He didn't make a big deal when she left, didn't make a big deal when he saw her again. Hell, it wasn't even him who made the comment about the money. I tried to explain myself, saying he was a great guy but our views on money and the future didn't seem to mesh It bothered her that he didn't beg or chase after her. In fact, she seems to be the only one emotionally invested (although she claimed to be pragmatic), and it was clear that she felt …
/r/TheRedPill05/07/17 01:49 AM
1

She went into my phone for a second or third time last week This is dread, not necessarily a shit test. She's anxious about your changes and trying to figure out why. Trying to decide if I am getting lazy and slipping, if I am not really attracted to her, or I just haven't felt like it. Yeah, this is what's she's sensing. Are you attracted to other women. Is this lack of interest physical? Emotional? Intimacy? Part of this is faking it till you make it, but you might also want to look into physi…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/07/17 04:56 PM
413

"Yeah, we heard. The thing is, Will's loaded. He inherited his grandpas land which is leased to oil and gas companies. I've seen the quarterly checks he gets and they're more than my yearly salary." That's a bro right there. Almost certainly Will really is just a grungy musician living on a shoestring budget, but with a single sentence, he flipped the script on her entirely. Who needs a million dollars when your best friends have your back that way?
/r/TheRedPill04/07/17 03:57 PM
2

my GF just doesn't give me the sexual attention i want and need since the last ~ 3 yrs of our relationship. If this is so important to you, then why are you still with her? We had a failed foursome ( i couldn't get hard for shizzle , went mad that she didn't realize i wasn't ok and enjoyed herself regardless and we had a huge fight), So, you wanted to show her up and fuck someone else at the same time, but it turned out you were so insecure you couldn't perform and you found that the DBR isn't d…
/r/askMRP03/07/17 10:54 PM
1

Yeah, the husband just "goes off to work" after childbirth and doesn't contribute except for a paycheck.
/r/askMRP30/06/17 03:33 PM
1

cognitive load Yeah, this comic lays out the case. I'm of two minds on this. Part of it's true: there are plenty of men out there who skate by on their share of work because <reasons>. They delegate household chores management to their wives, and then act like an employee punching the clock. After a long day at work, they see home as a respite from the world, and not as another responsibility. They'd rather get a honey-do list to work into their schedule, then shout "you kids listen to your moth…
/r/askMRP30/06/17 02:40 PM
1

My house is always clean and it's my house she doesn't live there yet. Fuck it then, if its your place then do whatever you want. Leave the clothes on the floor, live like a slob, and just ignore her. I mean, she's only shit-testing you to see if you are a worthy provider or a lazy schlump, which is her evolutionary strategy. Granted I can say that to her but then I'm operating in her frame, no? How is communicating with her operating in her frame? "Yeah babe, I got it" or "I'm beat, but tomorro…
/r/askMRP30/06/17 01:55 PM
2

In short short: I think we have the same opinion, it's just there are more times I get more joy myself going out and doing things for me than spending that time on my family. We're close, but perhaps I'm a bit on the other side of the line. Anything I do for my kids should be to their benefit, but not necessarily for their gratitude. I want them to succeed because they carry my genotype, but I shouldn't expect them to reciprocate or provide validation. The parent-child relationship is generally …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/17 01:37 PM
3

Bench + Squat + Deadlift.
/r/askMRP29/06/17 08:16 PM
2

I see my kids say "We don't want you to go climbing tonight" It's not out of any kind of love, but out of them trying to get their needs met. Why not take them climbing (not necessarily to your places, but somewhere they can learn), or find something you can do together? Share your passions with them, or help them discover their own. My kids are, or close to becoming, teenagers who have their own interests and priorities... and soon will be out of the house entirely. Sure, I miss they were littl…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/17 08:12 PM
3

You say you "usually" like to chill, except you're finger-fucking your phone. You say you'll do it, then you don't. Instead you leave for the gym without taking the 5 minutes that the chore needs, so they'll already be done when you get home. It's called owning your shit. If she has to remind you (to the point that you ask MRP), then you're not doing it.
/r/askMRP29/06/17 07:47 PM
4

Lots of trite responses so far, so let me try to answer your question. I had hoped to write a few paragraphs on the main sub about "comfort zones", but the gist is that earlier this year, I was in the same position you. I had too much crap going on to do TFAs March challenges, but soon after, I found myself coasting on a number of fronts after things settled down: Diet was stalled. Lifts were stalled. Finances behind. House a mess. Wife busy with her job. Some of those were because I hadn't deci…
/r/askMRP29/06/17 07:28 PM
2

praise the effort not the outcome Dunno about this... I'm having problems with my oldest (who's about to leave for college). For the life of me, I can't get him to take responsibility for things. When I assign him a chore, it's done fast, half-assed, and many times ends up damaging things in the process (paint spilled, broken hinges, etc.). My wife's approach (and mine mostly) to the kids has been to heap praise for effort, but how does sparing feelings help if shit doesn't get done right? I mea…
/r/askMRP29/06/17 06:49 PM
2

Even last night when we seemed to put to rest the fifth kid issue. She was quite emotional about giving it up and cried plenty of tears. I wasn’t even pushing for sex and was going to let her have some space and relax. Sure enough, we were banging about 15 minutes after she had settled down. This is typically her most horny time of the month anyways, but it is amazing how much this fits in with RP theory, holding frame, and providing comfort. Yeah, this isn't about your progress, it's baby fever…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/17 03:28 AM
1

Are you sure that the back rub request wasn't just her way of initiating? As long as you weren't bartering or expecting sex, then chalk it up as a win and move on.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/17 03:19 AM
2

you are happier in the hunt for what you want because at least then you had hope. There's a lot of cliches around "its the journey, not the destination," but the older you get, the more you see that material goods, praise, or whatever else you are hunting for is rarely as satisfying as you expected. I'm fairly successful and at a point in my life where I can pretty much do or buy what I want. New shiny in a catalog, take a fun trip, or attend an event... got it, went there, did it. The actual ac…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/06/17 03:58 PM
2

It doesn't matter whether she was getting her physical or emotional needs met, the fact is that she had one foot out the door. She doesn't want therapy and she says the can only heal when she is apart from me. Yeah, who needs a therapist when she has her emotional tampon.
/r/askMRP27/06/17 03:04 PM
2

His MAP has essentially been to dabble at each piece of advice, and then to measure his progress by his wife's reaction. Even now, the end of his marriage comes not from any deliberate action on his part, but because he continues to equivocate everything and has forced his wife to be the bad guy. It's the exact opposite of owning his shit.
/r/askMRP27/06/17 02:52 PM
3

You decided to actively download a dating/hookup app. You chose to create a profile on that app. You chose to approach women on that app. You kissed women you met on that app. If you had the chance, you would have fucked them. You want to tell me again that you weren't cheating? The thing is, he didn't have the balls to own this, but just dipped his toes into it. "I want kisses, but I also want to save my marriage." It was probably less about the sex and more about validation, which appears to b…
/r/askMRP27/06/17 02:32 PM
1

The benefits of a beginners 5x5 program are getting you into a routine that sticks, while practicing good form. Two months in, your strengths gains are still mostly from training your body and CNS -- not because of the actual program. Keep going for at least 3-4 months, and push through some plateaus... that's when you should start seeing results. Only then should you consider an intermediate program. But 5x5 on its own won't "make you strong as an ox".
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/17 02:47 AM
3

I meant your frame -- refusing starfish was enforcing a boundary.
/r/askMRP15/06/17 11:57 PM
6

She is tired of me thinking that sex will fix our relationship Keep in mind, that's the mindset you came here with. Edit: Actually, this is her perception of what you want, and it probably was yours at one point too. But you have to see now, it was just a symptom. I just smiled again and started to walk away. And you basically turned down "starfish" sex. I turn around and go over to her and start to escalate. She almost immediately loses her frown and starts to smile. "Welcome to my frame." She …
/r/askMRP15/06/17 08:12 PM
2

She's stuck in the house with them all day, then you swoop in to be the hero by taking them to the park, but leaving her at home. I mean, I get it... Dad time is great. Most nights my wife considered it a favor -- I got to unwind from work, the kids burned off energy, and she got some quiet time. But making it a boundary (enforceable or otherwise), expecting her to stay home, seems inconsiderate, petty, or punitive. There will be other times for boundaries. We're going out, need anything? Oh you…
/r/askMRP15/06/17 07:57 PM
1

It worked okay, but I still felt the bar twisting quite a bit, which was why I went to J-hooks. They served quite well for nearly 6 months before I hurt my back in Feb on a PR because I compromised my form. I stopped DLs for a while and focused on squats, but now that I've hit 3 plates (5x3), I can see 1000# on the horizon and want to get my DLs back on track. My problem is that 345 is great, I can pump out 3 reps just fine... but 355 (PR was 360) just fucks with my head. I feel my back curving,…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/17 03:01 PM
1

Double overhand. Tried mixed grip a while ago but never felt comfortable with it. I've been using J-hooks, and they work okay... but even with dry grip, the bar feels like it's gonna twist out of my hands and it's affecting my form. My second night using straps, and they feel better already.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/17 04:57 AM
2

This is her way of testing your frame, and figuring out her place in that world. You can try enforcing boundaries, but this is a better place to lead by example. There's no reason she can't come, so why make a deal out of it? As long as she's not trying to sabotage your fun or time with the kids, then let her get out of the house for a few hours. Not everything needs to be a fully planned family outing. An unscripted adventure is often more fun, as there's no pressure or schedule to stick to. So…
/r/askMRP15/06/17 03:29 AM
2

As a 6'4" guy, my DLs were hampered for a long time because my back would curve when lifting from the floor. I built a couple blocks from 4x4's, and it made a huge difference in my form just having that extra bit of height -- so much easier to start with a neutral back. I'm currently stalled again, but now it's my grip. Just got straps this week, trying to get used to them.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/17 04:00 AM
1

Starting out, it's more the suggestion of choking than the actual act... if she responds well, then you can ramp up the intensity over the next few sessions. Maybe she's into it right away, maybe it's something she needs to build up to -- or it could be a big nope. Just like anal or other types of kink, it's about testing limits, playing "what if" to tease and offer the thrill of uninhibited sex ... while still respecting hard boundaries and maintaining trust. Ten years ago, I would have sworn u…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/17 12:51 PM
1

An easy way to start is just to rest the palm of your hand at the base of her throat as things get heated, thumb and fingers spread, and leave it there for 20-30 seconds. She'll let you know if it's not okay. After that, you can experiment and gauge her comfort / excitement level, tightening your grip a bit as you go, or stopping if she's not into it. Another move its to comb your fingers through the hair on the back of her head, and slightly tighten your grip on her scalp. This also works nicel…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/17 11:27 PM
5

Did she come back after the break, or was it basically a "mood killer" for her? Lots of women are self-conscious about their bodies, and the second they start thinking about actually having sex, the wheels start spinning -- did I eat garlic, is my crotch funky smelling? It could be perfectly normal, or it could be LMR because she really wasn't attracted to you enough to get turned on. Or maybe she's trying to tell you that your breath stinks, or your tongue is too far down her throat. So, make s…
/r/askMRP02/06/17 04:04 AM
2

After repeating the others about seeing a PT, I would add that you don't have to go heavy. Instead, try a lower weight at higher reps for some hypertrophy, say 4x12-15 @ 60%. This shouldn't exacerbate your injuries, but will help practice good form as well.
/r/askMRP02/06/17 03:53 AM
1

What I would like to see out of my wife is "respect". You want her respect, you want her happiness, and you want her adoration? Why are you so focused on your wife's feelings? You say elsewhere you've read MMSL, but have you read WISNIFG? One of the core premises is that you are only responsible for your own feelings -- not hers. You have several covert contracts regarding what she owes you, based on how much you earn, how much you know, or how much you can lift. You claim how "alpha" you are, b…
/r/askMRP31/05/17 06:49 PM
2

You can tell the trash from what's important or low-priority. You can tell your things from hers. Take care of what you know, and set her stuff aside. The kids stuff gets put away as best you can, and if you don't know, then make a system.
/r/askMRP31/05/17 06:18 PM
1

Fair enough.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/17 02:02 AM
1

I have to admit - part of me felt a bit resentful over the fact that the house was a lot cleaner when I was handling stuff alone than it typically is when I come home from work. Things weren't THAT hard. Now, that said, the cumulative effect of multiple days with the kiddos is a lot tougher than any one particular day, and by the time today rolled around I was VERY ready to get back to work. Turn this around, and look at it from her side. You can be on your game and keep on top of everything for…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/17 10:31 PM
9

She's not attracted to you, but this is bigger than that... Having you fap next to her is about power. It demonstrates that you have no other options, that she controls when and how you get off, and reinforces her disgust. She rolls over and starts cuddling me and tries a more sad serious approach.. Yeah, she's doing everything she can to manipulate you. I reply calmly and confidently... Dollars to donuts, you're just DEERing here, no matter how OI you think you are. Look, you need to get out of…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/17 04:39 AM
1

Repost .... but you did warn the rambos out there that this was not RP 101, so here's your upvote.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/17 03:00 AM
1

You asked, didn't get an answer, and you made the most informed decision you could. Stand by that and own it. I was going to post that he needs to take some responsibility for not following up and nailing down the plans... But if she doesn't answer a direct question, then she doesn't get any say in what goes down.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/17 03:25 AM
9

Some women respond to directness, dirty talk, and domination, others need to be lead to water a step at a time. After 25 years, you should know which kind she is. My snowflake wouldn't have dreamed of doing certain things when we were young, but over time, we've moved the needle quite a ways. It's more a matter of exploring comfort zones and calibrating based on her responses. She wouldn't dream of anal early on, but let me know (in her own way) that she enjoyed when I played with her ass while …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/17 03:46 AM
4

She's giving him the feels and attention that he remembers from their honeymoon phase. Hell, she may actually be turned on by his sudden change -- she gets to have a fling with a safe "alpha", dip her toes into cheating without any real risk, and ride the emotional roller coaster. It’s clear that I’ve got her back, and we’re both still interested in having children together. OP, you are both digging through the garbage. You need to find a few plates, build some abundance, and put her behind you.…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/17 06:15 AM
1

He's only a month in, so even if he was mastering frame and killing his MAP, she doesn't know any better. Maybe she noticed his renewed attempts at initiating, and was just putting him back in his place. To her, he's the same boring pud that she married 17 years ago, no boundaries and passive aggressive responses to her shit tests. It's way too early for FMoFY, he's got a lot of shit to fix with himself before bringing his case to the jury.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/17 03:22 AM
1

That's not a trust issue, it's that you're afraid to enforce your own boundaries. Fap or no fap, that's up to you... but don't lie about it. Same thing with the bank accounts. If you have a problem with how she spends her money or uses the joint account, then deal with that instead of moving the money and hoping she doesn't notice. This "distrust" thing is a catch-all. Either you really gave her something to doubt you, or you're just a passive (or passive aggressive) nice guy. The big problem yo…
/r/askMRP24/04/17 05:29 PM
4

I was fucking my wife the other night and I looked down at her and just saw a woman with her legs spread Been there. But I'd bet that if you turned the tables, our wives have had the same feeling at some point or another... letting their boring, nice husband pound away at them while they balance the checkbook in their heads. Maybe if you're lucky, she'll make some appreciative sounds as well. And while all of the comments about external validation are right on point, you should also go back to y…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/17 03:40 AM
7

STFU isn't a solution, just a band-aid to stop the verbal diarrhea. The next step is AA/AM, where you acknowledge her words, but don't get drawn into the drama. Eventually, you should have a frame where she already knows how the discussion will end, and when she forgets, you can just remind her with a look.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/17 01:13 AM
8

And MRP draws inspiration from Neo and Tyler Durden -- both adolescent power fantasies.
/r/askMRP12/04/17 03:33 AM
7

This. Unless she left it out for you to read, it's her working through her feelz -- like talking to her girlfriend. Some of it will be honest, some will be exaggerated, and some will just be spilled out to see how it sounds on the page and not just in her head. You probably don't want her pawing through your pukes and thoughts here on MRP, either. Just let her hamster spin in it's wheel unmolested.
/r/askMRP12/04/17 03:27 AM
2

Fantastic analogy, thanks for that.
/r/askMRP08/04/17 04:55 AM
2

she threw some real curve balls at me: This is what's eating her up -- that you are seriously threatening to leave her frame. The actual details (your changes, your actions) are less important than what they mean for her. A common theme in our fights is her need for emotional stimulation or validation from me This is how a woman controls her man, and measures her control over him. We had sex again that night, This is usually either (a) a comfort test after a fight or (b) dangling a carrot so you…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/17 07:21 PM
5

is there something I can do better to cut down on these little fits and stupid comments so that I can focus better at work and not have to quell these fires that keep popping up? It's simple: if you want her to leave you alone at work, then handle that shit at home.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/17 09:11 PM
10

If you're not a complete troll, then you're a complete faggot. I'm not sure why anyone here is giving you any credit. Let's see... She wants to talk. You blow her off for TV. She wants to talk. You turn her down because she's trying to set aside time to talk. She tried to chat with you, and you blow her off because its a bad time. You've avoided talking to her for an entire day about whatever the problem was, and get pissy because she's not working it into your schedule... you then continue to i…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/17 08:26 PM
1

^ This reminds me of /u/ex_addict_bro's story. His wife married an addict with eyes wide open. It wasn't his affairs or the fights that ended his marriage, but that he actually started cleaning up his shit, changed his narrative, and built a new frame. Her own unhappiness was contingent on blaming him as the fuck up, and not herself. Hmmm, paging /u/resolutions316, does this sound familiar?
/r/askMRP12/03/17 05:44 AM
3

You've seen this story play out before. There's a break, and a reset-of-sorts, then the man shows back up to low expectations, greatly exceeds them, and is able to be seen in a new light. Yeah, after years of absence. The whole point of the story is that it takes time to bury those ghosts. Having the fuck-up in front of you the whole time makes it harder to see the small changes. It's like watching you kids grow -- you don't see the changes every day, only in fits and spurts -- like when they st…
/r/askMRP12/03/17 05:22 AM
7

Okay, let's be clear, this is either the largest pity party in the world and she is playing you like a fiddle... or she has some serious depression issues and needs to get some professional help ASAP. Beyond the fetal position theatrics, you need to understand that (a) much of what she's doing here are red flags and (b) your approach to it is neither RP nor helping the situation. She's taking everything you do (positive or negative) personally. Probably because you're still so deep in her frame …
/r/askMRP10/03/17 05:31 PM
2

Bodyweight exercises are a decent substitute for free weights while you get set up. Why not try TFA's program and start with 100 pushups a day?
/r/askMRP09/03/17 04:21 PM
10

Is that really what you want in your marriage? I wanted to stop dipping my toe in the water to see if she was in the mood tonight. I wanted to have sex without asking whether this was okay, or if that would be better. I wanted to stop tracking days of ovulation, counting attempts vs successes, orgasms vs "we can still cuddle". As it turns out, that's what she wanted too. Let's talk food. I love eating out, trying different restaurants in the area, and finding a new favorite item on the menu. The…
/r/askMRP08/03/17 08:01 AM
7

She was horny enough to get herself off, but she felt no need to involve me. I can tell you, I know exactly how you feel. Here's my first post to MRP. It's funny because it's so stupid... I mean, I'd been jerking off for a long time, so why shouldn't she? And to this day, I'm 98% certain she never cheated on me, so I can't explain why I was so devastated. And yet, I bawled like a baby. Except that was the covert contracts, the validation, and oneitis -- and those were all in my head. But it was …
/r/askMRP07/03/17 11:38 PM
2

I'm doing a cut and on the road this week too, and strongly second the above. The thing about a diet or cut, for me at least, is sticking to routine. I can cope with the hunger and lack of energy because I know when my next meal is coming, what my exercise schedule will be, and so on. But traveling (whether for work or not) often throws that routine to the side. In addition, I'm often doing more while away than what I typically do during the week, which affects my TDEE. And don't get me started …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/17 07:48 PM
1

On the question of me pulling the trigger to fuck another woman I edited my post to show that's not what I meant there, but it's certainly the question of the day. It's been repeated the MRP is amoral... if slaying strange is what you want, then do it. If not, then that's your call. We're here to dissect the Disney fantasy, to show you the code to the matrix, but what you do with that knowledge is your choice. It's why building frame is so important. But one answer could be a narrative we dont e…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/17 06:32 PM
4

Positive energy, positive actions, positive direction. What a contrast between this post and the weekly run to askMRP for a dissection of last night's blow out, or seeking validation from the manosphere. On that score alone, this sounds like 60 days well spent. You haven't really stated what your MAP is, but lets take a look at where you are... Recognize covert contracts. ✔ Build abundance mentality. ✔ Build value. In progress Apply dread. I still cannot figure out how to game my wife. [...] It …
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/17 06:35 AM
5

"I guess I fuck EVERYTHING up" "We're both still figuring this out. Who'd have thought parenting toddlers was going to be hard?"
/r/askMRP03/03/17 08:45 PM
1

my kids cannot teach me how to box. Sure, there are plenty of things in your MAP that are necessarily separate from your kids... but as a father, I find that (a) sharing the things I know/love with them and (b) learning new things together is rewarding for both of us. Let them see your passions, let them see you struggle, and the shared experience will bring you together. I feel like I literally want to partake in EVERYTHING in life all at once. FOMO = Fear Of Missing Out. And I'm there with you…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/17 10:08 PM
14

Maybe he shouldn't practice day game at the maternity ward.
/r/TheRedPill01/03/17 04:27 PM
10

I met a girl about a month ago. [...] she actually as a one month old baby You met her within days of her baby's birth?
/r/TheRedPill01/03/17 03:58 PM
1

Then maybe a little push-pull is necessary. Be her oak and let her cast you as the bad guy in her internal drama, and then bring her back into your frame with AA/AM.
/r/askMRP27/02/17 06:58 PM
3

If this was a one-off or you were early in your MAP, I'd say that she's still getting used to the new you and testing your changes. But to call you out like that a second time in a day... that's testing boundaries. While the standard advice is acta non verba and not to engage her emotions, she's trying to provoke a response from you. Maybe she wants you to overreact or capitulate, or just to demonstrate that you are serious, but she's trying to draw you into her frame. If this really is outright…
/r/askMRP27/02/17 06:53 PM
3

Randomly, while were discussing our plans, she said she wanted a hyphenated last name. You mean, like logistics for marriage? Yeah, that's completely out of left field. /s I'm not really here nor there about breaking up. I am fond of her, but I'd rather break up before we're married. It seems like the whole name thing is a red herring. You seem to be looking for a reason to ditch her, and this was the best you could come up with. You didn't even have an opinion on it until she brought it up. Don…
/r/askMRP22/02/17 05:07 PM
0

Don't play with stocks -- you might as well play poker or bet on the races. You will almost certainly never beat the market over any appreciable time frame. If your new job has a 401k, jump on it. Contribute whatever it takes to max out the company's match (if any). Otherwise open a retirement account on Vanguard or another low fee broker, and schedule a fixed amount per paycheck into a Roth IRA. Pick a stable index fund, and then ignore it until your next raise, when you bump up the amount. You…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/17 04:23 AM
2

Yeah, not sure why everyone seems to think dread is the only tool in the MRP toolbox. It works great for (a) fixing your own shit and (b) reminding her why she was attracted to you. But NAWALT, and if she's already in an anxiety trap, then it's going to make things worse, not better. It reads to me like OP is nearing the end of his MAP, and mixing comfort with alpha to see if his wife will come into his frame. She may end up fucking him, he may divorce her, or they may find another way to "make …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/17 04:42 PM
3

I'm 6'4" and down from 340 to 255, and there's a fair bit of loose skin already. Don't get me wrong, the improvement in my upper body and shoulders helps, but especially when sitting or bending, there's quite a bit of play. I look decent with a fitted or modern cut shirt. Still hoping to finish off this gut and hit ~240 before summer, and I'm also wondering how it will look without a shirt. Hrmph. Some of the stretch will go away, but you're still going to have loose skin. The only real option i…
/r/askMRP16/02/17 04:28 PM
1

I don't know exactly what red meat has in particular, but hopefully this will sort things out going forward. That would be iron.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/17 09:43 PM
3

me - so I could go out and fuck who I want and come home and climb into bed with you? her - no. I guess we would need separate beds OP has already posted that she's hinted several times about him sleeping with other women, and here she's acknowledging it again, if that's what it takes to save the marriage. And I don't think it's about losing things (money, security, validation, companionship, etc) or some hypergamous fantasy either -- she's not just scared, she's petrified that he's going to lea…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/17 09:26 PM
5

No, you shouldn't have sent this. Yes, it's negotiating desire. I cringed at this too, but I actually think he handled it well. It was a soft FMoFY discussion. No, it shouldn't have been done over text, but it opened the door to the real discussion. you let her bring up ice cream and chat about her shitty friends while you sat there and nodded along From his history, it's clear that his wife is an anxious wreck. She's suggested all kinds of ways to satisfy his demands for sex, worried that he'll…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/17 09:11 PM
4

This is a great FR for intermediate MRPs. There were lots of opportunities to DEER in those encounters, but you set the boundaries and provided comfort through action not words. You can see how Dread is working here, so no need to crank it up or go Rambo. You seem to be on a measured pace, keeping her anxieties in check, and you are pulling her into your frame bit by bit. Very solid work man. The sex may not end up where you want it, but you will know that you made every effort. At that point, y…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/17 08:56 PM
2

Bottom line - think of how you can re-create the mini-vacation experience at home. Was there a special drink you guys had when you were there? A different activity that you adapt for home? Time to be creative and think outside the box. The last escape weekend we had, I tossed in a box of twister. After retiring to the room one night, I suggested a game of "strip twister". It didn't last very long, but it was a fun diversion that fit the mood, and it's now a small memory that we share.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/17 08:38 PM
1

What a mess of passive-aggressive tit-for-tat. She went to lunch with a guy, so you went with a girl. She didn't confront you, but left a note. You didn't confront her, and ignored the note. You're both stalking around in STFU mode to see who breaks first. Neither of you seem that invested in the relationship. You don't even say why she wouldn't have lunch with you for the week... which seems strange, unless there's something else going on. Anyway, the "I hate you" note is her way of saying "I h…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/17 10:46 PM
5

She was so far in OPs frame, was begging him for attention. Maybe she was just doing it for the thrills and validation -- her own form of C+R. It certainly sounds like he was going to number-close her at the very least, but maybe more. On the other hand, I don't think OP had a plan beyond C+R either. If his goal was simply to build some abundance mentality, then mission accomplished. What ended up happening was he got a fish on the line, and didn't know whether to bring it into the boat or let i…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/17 07:07 PM
3

I went 40+ years on this earth NGAF about my clothes. A few times my wife would mention something she liked, but for the most part, I just schlubbed around in T-shirts and jeans or jean-shorts. Sure, no sandals and black socks, etc, but basically comfort and low effort were the standard. Just like the rest of my life. The first few steps of my MAP were to embrace the 12 levels of dread. Lifting, diet, and hygiene out of the gate. And when I started losing weight, I spent a few weeks researching …
/r/askMRP09/02/17 05:19 PM
6

why cant I right? [...] Am I doing this the right way? Why do you need someone on the Internet to tell you you're right? Dammit man, you've been posting here for 6 months and you're still looking for validation over the smallest disagreement. "My wife might be sulking, I dunno, I'm afraid to be in the same room with her." Step 1: Go to the sidebar and read "When I Say No I Feel Guilty." Step 2: Stop caring what people think -- either your wife or MRP. Step 3: Grow a fucking pair.
/r/askMRP08/02/17 07:02 PM
2

She'll sarcastically throw in stuff about me being the boss or captain and I can just feel the resentment. A+A the shit out of that. This should help
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/17 03:48 AM
4

So am I, brother. So am I.
/r/askMRP03/02/17 09:37 PM
5

You mean, what happens when you stop looking for validation from others? Then you have to find your own motivations for doing shit. You no longer need to defend your actions or desires, because ultimately you are only accountable to and responsible for yourself. I mean, why the fuck do you get out of bed in the morning? Do you have goals or passions? Do you have kids? Do you provide value to those around you? Is the world a better place because you're in it? Sure, we're all fuck ups at times. I …
/r/askMRP03/02/17 08:05 PM
3

Paradox is right on here. Right now, you are both playing emotional poker. You are trying to pull away and build your own frame, and she's using emotion and sex to keep you in hers. Worse still, you seem to think that stirring her up this way is making things better -- but it's not sustainable at all. If you were to read her diary or hear what she said to her GF, I'm betting it would sound like a main event. She's basically thew everything at you to get you to engage. Maybe you did make progress…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/17 04:15 PM
1

All we have is his solipsistic retelling of what happened, but his "didn't matter, had sex" either shows that he missed the entire point of the event or that he doesn't want to own up to what they discussed. So yeah, he STFU+Fogged his way through 2.5 hours of her "discussion", until she realized that he was just nodding along and not involved. At that point, she basically went nuclear... making personal attacks, crossing boundaries, and then threatening (not divorce but) suicide. At which point…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/17 03:53 PM
14

Let's assume that you're lifting and working on your frame, or she's simply not going to be interested in fucking you. If so, here's a reasonable progression that will feel out her boundaries and ease her into the idea of more submissive sex. Try these out, adding one every week or two. AA/AM - Be confident, be flirty, be "the prize". Slap her ass, chase her up the stairs, tickle her. Come up behind and kiss her roughly on her neck and her hairline. Nibble her ear. Give her a pet name. Straddle …
/r/askMRP02/02/17 04:53 AM
4

To me, this is a fight - a needless emotional blowout over problems that are easily solved. For her, it's a huge adrenaline rush - dopamine flooding her brain as she hits intense emotional highs and lows. The problem is that you don't really understand why she's so frustrated. And maybe she doesn't either, but her emotions are real... and so is the up and down. That's why she fucked you... because she needed some comfort and connection after the fight. But your tl;dr was that you fought and then…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/17 11:29 PM
2

Noticing quite a few more looking in my direction as they walk by. I wouldn't say I'm hawt, but I've definitely improved hugely over the fat slob I was. I think this is why it's getting noticed so much by those who already knew me. It's a pretty drastic change, I really had completely let myself go. So much this. My department is mostly male, but there are a few women. I can specifically point out the instant when I went from being "just that guy" to each of them actually noticing me. Like eyes …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/17 02:33 AM
1

I was prescribed 5000 IU/week, and it moved the needle on my blood work, but bumping it to 10k finally put me in the green zone. Doc says that some people just don't absorb it as easily, so flooding the dose helps a lot. Since then, my mood has improved quite a bit.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/17 02:13 AM
5

It's a comfort test. She sees the distance between you and her, and wonders what your real intentions are. So, are you doing these things so that she'll feel that way? WISNIFG is good, especially the assertive bill of rights, but some of other stuff are best saved when she's on a tirade. AA/AM are your go to here: "Why did you do that?" Because I'm a man of action. "I feel bad when you do this." Here, let me make you feel better. "You're pissing me off right now!" Great, my evil plan is working.…
/r/askMRP01/02/17 12:20 AM
4

Went up to bed, she complained a bit about my breath Don't be unattractive. Take care of this, so that it's never an issue again.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/17 10:17 PM
0

Your second paragraph comes off as sanctimonious. The idea is solid, but you need to lead her there a step at a time, not talk down to her. You are not putting her on an allowance, but showing her that you have a plan for the budget and showing that you both have skin in this game. If your progress in over the last month has been steady, then this will simply be another way to demonstrate that you actually have a vision that (just maybe) is worth following.
/r/askMRP31/01/17 09:38 PM
1

Don't do it to avoid the fight. Do it to establish your narrative, whatever you want that to be: I'm a man who keeps his word. I'm concerned about the budget. I want better schools for our kids. We can take the discretionary hit if you want, but it's at the cost of other luxuries. Then treat his is an opportunity to lay the groundwork for a new plan. You can get the couches or not, but make it part of the larger context of leading your family to a better place -- financially as well as political…
/r/askMRP31/01/17 09:07 PM
3

More J10 gold that's on point!
/r/askMRP31/01/17 06:31 PM
1

I like it. Narrative is the first step in building frame. We warn against DEERing all the time, but having a rational plan of action and being able to defend it (even if just to yourself) is key. And for OP, just getting out of the petty tit-for-tat and finding an actual act of adulting to focus on is great progress.
/r/askMRP31/01/17 01:25 PM
1

It's great that he's got a budget and he's being cautious about how to spend the refund money, because it's easy to fall into the trap of splurging after a windfall. But if this "budget" is all in his head, then she has no idea if he's being arbitrary and petty (after years of drunk captain and passive aggressive plays) about the extra money or not.
/r/askMRP31/01/17 06:54 AM
1

As FT says, these are separate issues. If the finances are under control, and you're not siphoning off for your own hobbies or priorities, then there's nothing to discuss. Enjoy your free ticket. But, she's conflating these 2 issues because she sees one as you expressing your independence, while still imposing boundaries on her. Have you given her relief from mommy time with a night off or day out, or maybe you take the kids to McDonald's for a couple hours so she can have a few hours quiet? I'm…
/r/askMRP31/01/17 06:41 AM
2

I think it will make things worse initially. To be fair, this sounds like a battle worth having. You are taking care of finances, and if she acts out against your better judgement and express wishes -- and if your picture is true, mostly out of spite -- then there need to be consequences. "I trust you to understand that this purchase is not essential, and we still have a plan for making it happen... in time. I'm open to other suggestions. We both agree on our priorities otherwise, but if you cro…
/r/askMRP31/01/17 04:23 AM
1

A few quick notes: Don't set boundaries you aren't willing to enforce. I've done this before coming to MRP, and let the consequences slide when she disregarded. I'm still digging myself out of that hole. Do you think that "punishing" her is going to fix the problem or make things worse? Are you at a position to start enforcing boundaries? Do you have a strong enough frame to drop the nuke yet? Again, at the risk of DEER'ing, is there a consequence to spending this money that you can make clear t…
/r/askMRP31/01/17 03:55 AM
4

I have the mindset now to handle waking up when it's pitch black and below freezing and drive to the gym 6 days a week, feeling great the entire time, knowing I'm on the path to greatness. I'd like to say it always this easy, but there are days where you have to drag your ass there. But you lift the iron or hit the treadmill and push through, because today is not the day that you fall off the wagon. The only person you are competing with is yourself from yesterday, so don't let that fucker win. …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/17 05:42 AM
3

She begins to point out areas that my STBXW would fault, but this chick thinks are great. I begin to laugh. This was a third date. She knows only what she's seen of you, whatever lies you've told her, and extrapolated a bunch of the rest. You're new to her, and you're probably on your game, so she doesn't see many of your bad qualities. Now compare that to your ex, who has suffered through your shit for years. She's tired of the same old jokes you tell, she's watched you pick your toes, and know…
/r/askMRP27/01/17 05:26 AM
3

It's the difference between a thirsty man who still needs mommy's love for validation, and someone with confidence who DNGAF teasing a girl on the playground.
/r/askMRP27/01/17 05:06 AM
4

Sometimes you plant your flag on the wrong hill. This is part of the calibration.... incorporating the new RP pieces and tools into your life and your frame, finding what works and what needs practice. Treat it like a failed set: deload and hit again tomorrow.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/17 05:01 PM
1

Did you ever come to a conclusion on the anxiety issue? Is she still trying to find you a girlfriend?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/17 03:37 PM
2

I wasn't there, but I think "respected" may be a bit of overselling. She's going to have her doubts, and she will continue to test you -- the 1000 foot rope is running out of slack, and she's being pulled in a new direction. This is why frame is critical. Keep in mind that when we preach acta non verba, it's not a 100% hard and fast rule. It doesn't mean literally STFU, but rather follow your MAP and lead by example. You still need to communicate with your first officer, so that she knows you ha…
/r/askMRP24/01/17 03:32 PM
10

Okay, so 2 months is about right on track for this conversation, especially if you haven't been overt about your changes. But, you have to admit, you're still focused on her feelings, and you've been ducking this conversation for a while. STFU is fine, but AA/AM are much better defaults when she asks about your plans or feelings. Eventually, she's going to wonder what has gotten into you. On top of that, the marriage seminar will be almost certainly revolve around "communicating", which only und…
/r/askMRP23/01/17 11:10 PM
6

she stonewalled me as she has been doing, but then sent me a text with a receipt for an all day marriage seminar. WTF? I didn't respond to that and haven't even addressed it today. [...] After her latest text tirade, I didn't respond for two hours [...] She says that I don't seem to care about her and she doesn't enjoy being around me right now. First, it's normal that she's confused and frustrated with your changes. But if you're really 10 months in, why are you still defaulting to STFU? I mean…
/r/askMRP23/01/17 10:24 PM
1

she stonewalled me as she has been doing, but then sent me a text with a receipt for an all day marriage seminar. WTF? I didn't respond to that and haven't even addressed it today. [...] After her latest text tirade, I didn't respond for two hours [...] She says that I don't seem to care about her and she doesn't enjoy being around me right now. First, it's normal that she's confused and frustrated with your changes. But if you're really 10 months in, why are you still defaulting to STFU? I mean…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/17 10:24 PM
1

Day number 1 (a sunday) was at a public gym and I felt so weak and stupid that I was doing my SL5x5 with only the bar (45lbs), and struggling at that. My first week of MRP, I was waiting for my Power Rack and Bench to arrive, so my first "lifts" were just deep knee bends in my basement while moving boxes to make space for the home gym. But at 340lbs, that was more than enough to work on flexibility and prime my legs. It took me about 4 months to squat 225lbs where I plateaued for the longest tim…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/17 09:41 PM
1

Exactly. It's like Taco Night. Why would you limit yourself to yummy tacos just one night a week?
/r/askMRP19/01/17 12:58 PM
1

41 years old [...] Having motivational issues . Make an appointment for a physical and blood panel with your doctor. Have him check your T-levels and Vitamin D. Lots of guys here get T-injections to good effect. In my case, I needed large D supplements (10,000 IU/week) to get up to a normal level -- but the improvement in my mood and motivation has been dramatic.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/17 06:16 PM
1

“Women do not see guys. They see worlds. They see themselves exiting this realm of Nature and entering the guy's world" Think of it as a buffet. She has a line of guys to choose from, each willing to give her some mix of AF or BB. Just like guys take a 10second journey in their head when the HB9 in yoga pants walks by, she's visualizing herself on Chad's arm, in his car, or in his bed. The difference is that you have to earn your time with HB9, but all she has to do is smile because Chad is alwa…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/17 06:08 PM
2

This is an awesome primer for guys working on their game, whether single, married, or divorced. Instead of PUA tricks and focus on closing, you've broken the dating game down into reasonable steps and signposts that anyone can follow. I'd love to see this entered into RP canon.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/17 05:32 PM
1

Found the chink in your armor. Why can't you be this? Being the best guy in the room is great...but caveating "I am the prize" with "when I'm the best guy in the room" is putting up your own barrier. I AM the prize. At all times. So why the barrier? That's not who I am or want to be. I'm not "slick" nor "intense", but I can be "direct" and "confident" (though not there yet). I don't want to be in sales (always closing), I want to be the mayor. But, you're making me uncomfortable because I really…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/17 05:23 PM
3

Good stuff. Like most guys, you came here to fix the marriage and the sex, and realize that it's really about fixing yourself. The two-year-old can barely talk but he has a say when I plan the menu for the week. [...] I mean, a two-year-old is great help when making sushi, right? Each of our kids has a night where they help with dinner: planning, preparing, setting and clearing the table. For the younger ones, they get what they can handle, but they are involved as much as anyone else.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/17 03:08 PM
6

I think you're confused. I'm not your wife, and I won't fuck you whether you insult me or not.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/17 04:19 AM
4

I switched to a PPL program after stalling on SL5x5 for a while. What I've settled on is a periodization that let's me work each of my goals (strength, hypertrophy, volume, deload) over a 4 or 7 week period. For each of my primary lifts, I follow this program (percentages based on calculated 1rm): Day 1 Day 2 Week 1 3x5 @ 80% 3x3 @ 90% Week 2 3x5 @ 80%, Reverse Pyramid 3x3 @ 90%, Reverse Pyramid Week 3 5x5 @ 80% 5x3 @ 90% Deload 50 lifts (15,15,10,10) @ 60% same If I hit my lifts, I bump up 5 or…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/17 11:20 PM
5

But yea bro, you tell us how to drown in pussy Are we comparing dicks here? On a thread where you need to insult your wife just to get your dick wet? Hmm'kay. Today I threw my 50 pound daughter on my shoulders... Cool story, bro. Here, have an Internet Point. +1
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/17 10:24 PM
2

Keto, walk/run 3 days a week each, and lifting 6 nights. The first few months it went fast, but after that, I averaged 1-2 pounds a week. I stopped about 255, then maintained about 260 for several months while working on strength. Definitely not strong as an ox, but now I'm lifting for me (not her) -- making slow but steady progress, and I've missed fewer than 5 days since I started.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/17 03:07 AM
2

I found that XL means different things depending on the brand. I'm finding more that fits now, but it's still trial and error. Bonobo's Athletic Fit - no Levi's 541, same size - yes
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/17 08:52 PM
2

I'm 6'4", and went from 340 to 260 in about 8 months. My shoulders and legs have strong definition, and I look pretty good right now. I'm back on a cut to lose another 20lbs and get rid of the last belly fat. As a technical professional, I never really needed to worry about appearances, so I did the T-shirt and jeans/cut-offs for way too long. Last summer after my initial weight loss, I started fresh and found a casual style that I liked. With fall/winter, I've done a second round of clothes and…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/17 06:41 PM
2

It's a mixed blessing. I certainly have been able to do the research and focus on my goals to great effect, but I still have plenty of baggage. On the one hand, there are many things that I never GAF about, especially when I was younger, and I think it contributed to her alpha image of me. At the same time, my awkwardness means that I miss lots of simple social cues, and my need for validation is partly a defense mechanism to prevent myself from acting weird. Some of these things are red flags f…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/17 06:18 PM
5

How did you kill this demon? Trust but verify. She had a crush on an acquaintance, but is not one to act on it (not religious but faithful), nor is she technically proficient enough to hide her tracks. On top of that, I stepped up my game... I stopped focusing on her orgasm, and started having more fun in and out of the bedroom. (SGM+DEVI FTW). I also focused more on my responsibilities around the house and elsewhere. I always laughed at those guys who claimed to make their wife "cum buckets", u…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/17 06:07 PM
3

Push/pull is just fine for the folks who are 6 months in and looking to build some frame, but not for those guys who haven't mastered the MRP training wheels. The ones on AskMRP who don't know OI from butt hurt, or frame from rambo. Hint: if you can't pull of AA/AM, swat down her usual shit-tests, or just aren't that attractive yet, then it's not constructive to move on to this. I know, I know, we just provide the matches and the dynamite... it's up to the reader to use them responsibly.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/01/17 08:57 PM
8

Start a fight. Call her names. When she asks to talk about it, say.. Nah..Im done and dont give a shit anymore. Yeah, newbies... this is is exactly what you do when she gives you starfish. Trust me, you'll be drowning in pussy.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/01/17 04:25 PM
7

we're using whatsapp to communicate. [...] we used emails even though she didn't like it. That's fine for logistics and light stuff. this is exactly the reaction i wanted, and i sent a reply being very jokey. This is not. Sarcasm and jokes do not work over text. If the person doesn't know you, then they are very likely to misinterpret. And even if the person does know you, don't talk about your relationship. There's no smirk or shrug, no way to move on to light stuff, it just flops there on the …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/17 09:01 PM
2

Women accidentally fall on a dick FTFY.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/17 09:39 PM
1

Obviously she's not concerned at all about my reply and she has not mentioned it since. I've been thinking about what to do. The AM was fine, if a little defensive and a weak attempt at dread. You tried to get her hamster going, but she turned the tables and now your hamster won't get off the wheel. In any case, if I decide to go, what now... she completely ignores my, so I guess I should just buy a ticket for myself. So, you're both playing the passive aggressive game. She's pretending to not c…
/r/askMRP11/01/17 12:54 AM
2

She’s commented on how much more freely she enjoys sex now that she senses I won’t be upset if she says she doesn’t want to fuck. If only the BP folks from /r/DeadBedrooms and /r/Relationships could figure that out. The more you focus on getting it, or talking about it, or scheduling it, the less likely it is to happen. They can sense the covert contracts and need for validation, and it's a huge DLV. Once sex isn't an obligation that she owes you (or because it's date night), but something that …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/17 08:14 PM
4

If you push for a bunch of ONS, you're always on the steep part of the "building energy" curve and never get to experience the "coast". Damn, that's a solid insight right there. Such a big contrast from the TRP/PUA shotgun approach, where you're always trying to close. It's also better at filtering out HSE from LSE girls, who are better suited to plating and relationships than the typical bar-girl with daddy issues or tinderella with other issues. I mean, by all means, get your dick wet and find…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/17 07:21 PM
2

She's clearly using this dude for passive dread on OP -- going out with him and becoming his buddy or AMOG'ing him is the perfect counter. As long as OP has the frame do to pull it off.
/r/askMRP09/01/17 04:30 AM
2

Wife may have depression and/or hormonal issues that contribute to the lack of libido, which is obviously compounded by your sh1tty relationship. If there's a way to encourage her to get this checked out by a doctor I would do so. They have a 5 month newborn, so hormones and nursing are definitely a factor.
/r/askMRP07/01/17 12:10 AM
6

He's not in her frame any more, and she doesn't know why. Instead of OP negotiating for her desire, she's starting to negotiate for his attention. These are great responses. Keep up the OI, because the tumblers are turning in her head.
/r/askMRP06/01/17 10:08 PM
3

I disagree. I want to have sex with my wife, but for the longest time, it was more about validation than intimacy or biology. I was doing whatever it took to win her affection, and it pushed her away. Sex can be about power, revenge, excitement, validation, dread, or any number of things. And often, it's something different to each of you at the same time.
/r/askMRP06/01/17 03:35 PM
6

That's some tough love you're preaching, and a valuable lesson for most of the nice guys and validation whores that come here. Myself included. I have taken a few steps along this line, but I'm almost 11 months in and still haven't killed off my need-to-please. It's the biggest hole in my frame right now. But my problem with the advice is that it's way too advanced for the OP. He's been jumping back and forth between anger and regret, and still doesn't have have even the foundation for a proper …
/r/askMRP06/01/17 01:21 PM
7

And when she asks, you can say the same thing to her (except for the 60 days bit). The first real step on my MRP journey was basically saying "We both know things have been bad, and I just need some time to figure out my shit. I'm not checking out, but (re)discovering what it means to be a man that takes care of business and steps up to his responsibilities." There were a few follow up discussions after that and I still had some leftover anger, but it was the turning point for both of us. Welcom…
/r/askMRP06/01/17 04:27 AM
1

She's trying to force me to do something else she needed to do now because "we arent helping each other anymore". She told me "you want sex, but I have absolutely no reason to want to have sex with you, and that was the nail in the coffin" What the actual fuck? This is exactly what we are telling you to do as well. Seriously, she is laying it out for you, and you are rejecting her, because... why? I'm SO TEMPTED to go sit down with her and try to talk it out. "Lets talk about this and figure out…
/r/askMRP06/01/17 03:22 AM
1

It's ironic that he should lecture her on responsibility.
/r/askMRP06/01/17 03:13 AM
3

You reminded me of the fundamental piece of MRP advice that ties it all together: kill the ego. Stop being a participant in the drama, stop trying to be better than her, and stop with the sarcasm and pronouncements. OP needs to put it all away, and start from scratch. Not to prove himself to her, but to be accountable only to himself.
/r/askMRP05/01/17 02:00 PM
14

First, table my Step 1 above... I was running late, and posted what I had without editing. I want to give you advice, but you are still not owning your problems. You come back every few days with another fight to dissect, because both of you keep reviving and escalating this conflict. And I get it, she's being a bitch and you want to show her that you are alpha, that you can lead, and that you deserve respect. But you are going at it by trying to fix everything... her, the kids, the house, the s…
/r/askMRP05/01/17 06:20 AM
3

Only if she respects you. Do you think his wife gives a shit about his boundaries?
/r/askMRP05/01/17 03:15 AM
12

Passive aggressive behavior, unenforceable boundaries, using the children as pawns. At what point do you think you are gonna win here, that she's going to give in to your obvious charisma? Seriously, this is a rolling shit storm and you are both fully dug in. I'm failing to see (a) why either of you should be together, (b) how this environment is good at all for the kids, (c) what your ultimate plan is. Unless you take a long hard look at how you are acting, how you expect anyone to respect you,…
/r/askMRP05/01/17 01:02 AM
1

Hobbys: ... You may want to remove identifying details, as people on the RP forums are sometimes doxxed by outsiders.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/01/17 04:54 AM
3

she again put another friend of ours in harms way. [...] My Dread and Leadership is lacking. The AM was fine, but you are wrong about the dread part. From your recent posts, 1, 2, 3, it sounds like she's trying to calibrate her sexual availability to your needs. You also noted here that "she needs this relationship more than I need it". She's quite anxious about not satisfying you, and trying to find a way out of the maze. She's so worried that you're going to leave her that she's building menta…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/01/17 04:04 PM
4

Pants - You're losing weight in places, gaining muscle in others. It's time to do some research into how pants (and clothes in general) are cut. See /r/malefashionadvice for general tips, the excellent MRP post by /u/GargantuaBlarg29, and these suggestions from SPT that I actually bookmarked because they were spot on. Specifically, I found I really like Levi 541 "athletic fit" pants, which have more room (and stretch) in the seat and thighs, but still taper nicely. Thirst - Apart from exercising…
/r/askMRP31/12/16 11:18 PM
3

There's no magic, just setting goals and working at them every day. Don't make a New Year's resolution, make a new LIFE resolution.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/12/16 04:00 PM
3

The key, like the rest of MRP, is making gradual changes and not going Rambo. If setting and sticking to a plan is hard, then start improving things a meal at a time... work to find healthy dishes that you both like, swap the processed foods for rice and veggies, and stop eating fast food all the time. Take over the shopping, and reduce the number of chips and sweets you bring home each week. Being coached to lose weight by someone who is already fit can easily lead to resentment. It's important…
/r/askMRP30/12/16 05:08 PM
1

There's nothing wrong with cardio if you're really out of shape. Especially if he's early in a 5x5 program, lifting alone won't have as much of an impact as cardio, because it's more about training for good form than building strength. The Couch to 5k program is a great way to work up some endurance and burn calories, especially in conjunction with lifting. At his weight, walking an hour (about 3mi) each day will burn nearly 500 calories. That's a pound a week.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/12/16 04:53 AM
3

A covert contract is an expectation that you make with yourself about how someone else should behave or respond to your behavior. It's living in someone else's frame, and then hoping that they will do you a favor. Recognizing and killing them is simply part of ownership and leading. Covert communication on the other hand, is demonstrating frame without words. There is no contract or expectation, just setting a high bar for yourself. It's cleaning the house, not to make her feel guilty, but just …
/r/askMRP28/12/16 10:17 PM
4

I am living in two modes right now: 1. Selfish self improving man 2. BP faggot. This is part of the calibration. The guys who focus on #1 are the ones who go Rambo and shit all over everything trying to "take back their lives". As for #2, there's nothing wrong with missing your wife, or hell, loving your wife. There are plenty of horror stories in the RP forums, sure, but there are also plenty of men who are quite happy with their mates. Regarding missing her, what is it that you missed: Her pre…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/16 07:16 PM
4

That's my thought too. I mean, it's easy enough to come here and get 20 guys to confirm your worst AWALT nightmare... but there are lots of reasons that she may test you that don't involve Chad. He's already stated that she suffers from anxiety, and this rings more of a passive "I don't think I'm good enough for you" than someone who is sampling strange and trying to assuage the guilt by pimping out her friends. Even avoiding the trip to visit his family can be explained if she's falling into de…
/r/askMRP23/12/16 06:17 PM
0

Ways back, my wife suggested twice I should get someone else for sex [...] out of the blue she starts making the sugestion me and her friend go to the movies. [...] Lately sex has become less enthusiastic. Hard no's are plenty. You say that she's started a new job, so there's certainly an opportunity there for extracurricular activities (or at least the thought of some). You even posted about Chad and Snowflake a few days ago, so this is clearly on your mind. The other explanation is that the dr…
/r/askMRP23/12/16 04:07 PM
2

To be clear, W&S is talking to guys who are well into their MAP, have established a decent frame, and haven't given their wives a concrete reason to suspect them of having an affair. To everyone else, this is more likely to end with: Going Rambo, and making threats/throwing boundaries/escalating dread, DEERing when you should AA/AM, Ramping up her anxiety because she thinks you're lying. If you're less than 6 months in, the best responses involve: chuckling, grabbing her ass, STFU, and lifting. …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/12/16 03:22 PM
2

The female equivalent of: "haha, yeah honey, you could give me a blow job. Just kidding! I mean, unless you want to."
/r/MarriedRedPill23/12/16 03:05 PM
7

I think we found Anthony Weiner
/r/askMRP23/12/16 03:01 PM
2

It's part of the passive dread... why are you suddenly lifting/dieting, grooming yourself, and dressing better? More so if you're suddenly absent more often, evasive to her questions, and upping your sexual game. And the longer you've been BP, the more she's going to wonder why you suddenly decided to make all these changes. You'd be similarly interested/suspicious if your wife suddenly started any or all of these behaviors.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/12/16 12:41 AM
4

Say that you're reading articles about lifting or dieting, guides on improving your finances, or Aurelius Meditations, Sun Tzu or Dale Carnegie books. There's no reason you can't mix those in with your sidebar readings anyway, as they all should be part of a well-rounded MAP. Bonus points if you can pull off AM... tell her that you're reading the Kama Sutra, and you want to practice something with her later.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/16 09:37 PM
7

Get ahead of the "decision curve" that, if your LTR is like mine, she always had control of. She is a big planner A lot of guys seem to think that they need to make all the decisions and dictate them to their wife, or worse, don't even involve her in the process. My wife likes to be involved in the process, and gets anxious if she's out of the loop. More importantly, she often has details that help with the planning, so keeping her out can cause problems. That's the beauty of the Captain/FO dyna…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/16 09:27 PM
2

Why don't you make it a 12/21 resolution and fucking quit today? Amen!
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/16 03:28 PM
1

I escalated from there. The friend was into it. My wife freaked the fuck out. Perhaps your wife was more interested in being with the girl than an actual three-way, and got serious regrets she saw each of you connecting. Could be she was upset that she was "cock-blocked", or just that she realized you weren't wrapped around her finger.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/16 09:08 PM
3

MRP likes to crap on improving communication in the marriage as a blue/purple-pill thing. I think this mostly applies to the early stages, where you are: Way in her frame, and likely to DEER Way in the anger stage, and likely to go Rambo. A validation-whore, looking for mommy's approval. The key part of the journey is calibrating from STFU to logistics, from AA/AM to happy leader, and learning to identify shit and comfort tests. For guys married to harpies or cheaters, this progression is an uph…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/16 07:52 PM
3

I meet with a massage therapist once a month for a deep tissue massage, and try to schedule it at the end of "volume week" in my program. That's what keeps me going when the iron starts to push back.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/16 04:43 PM
1

German Volume training Do you plan on sticking with that program?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/16 04:38 PM
1

I love podcasts and books on audio, but I couldn't imagine whizzing through it while I'm doing other stuff. Maybe as an introduction, but there's so much deep wisdom that you'd be better off reading a section at a time and digesting it the rest of the day.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/12/16 06:08 PM
3

It seems the current environment is one where all the information is basically shotgunned out at once, and in a Darwinian way those that are capable of understanding it succeed. It's because nobody here is at exactly the same stage as anyone else. There are guys who wander in and victim puke, followed immediately by someone with 6 months of practice, and after that a veteran dispensing wisdom from the top of Mount RedPill. We're composed of guys trapped in a DB marriage, others seething with RP …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/12/16 03:34 AM
1

That didn't dial down the conflict at all. You've gone from demanding boundaries to making apologies for your actions. Where a simple, "I fucked up, I'm going to do better" might have worked, you dragged this out over a few days -- without even addressing specifics. She may not have respected your frame last week, but now she sure that you don't have one. You've tried Rambo, now you've tried Dr. Phil, and neither worked. Much of this is simply because you are in the middle of a protracted argume…
/r/askMRP19/12/16 05:01 PM
2

That point where you realize that your expectations no longer line up with reality -- whether it's failing reps at the Iron Temple, or the kick in the balls when swallowing the red pill. Getting knocked down during training (or on the field), and accepting the lesson with gratitude, because failure is the best teacher.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/16 06:38 AM
3

While that's a good article on boundaries for co-dependent betas who can't say no to their wife, OP is at the opposite end. He's going rambo and throwing boundaries all over the place without even having his own shit in a pile. She won't respect any boundaries until (a) he takes ownership of his own problems, (b) stops deferring decisions (and placing blame) to the kids, and (c) makes them personal boundaries and not just punishment for her shitty behavior.
/r/askMRP16/12/16 05:09 PM
4

So true. You hear about kids who think that it's their own fault when Mom and Dad fight, or worse, get a divorce. It's because of stuff like this... putting little Timmy on the spot, making him decide between bad and worse, and then laying the guilt or blame on him for his choice. The problem isn't that he lacks frame, or that he's in her frame, but that neither of them have any frame at all. They are both trying to score points on some imaginary board, to prove that the other is worse. But sinc…
/r/askMRP16/12/16 01:47 PM
8

Let me emphasize the difference in these: After they are in bed I tell her "don't manipulate our children." "We have to deal with our problems without using the children." Look, you can threaten and set boundaries, but you see that she's willing to just blow past them. Your tone and actions are confrontational, even when you think they are not, and that's what she's responding to. You are driving this marriage toward a cliff, Rambo, and it's up to you to plot a better course.
/r/askMRP16/12/16 04:12 AM
18

Don't hide yourself in a project when everyone is having a meltdown. Don't set boundaries you can't enforce. Don't bring your kids into your arguments. Don't make them choose between you or your wife. Don't blame your kids for your wife's moods or actions. Don't ask her if you are separating. You are both escalating things at every stage of this. And at each point you say you "calmly walk away", you seem to think you're defusing the situation but it's actually the opposite. Instead of fogging an…
/r/askMRP16/12/16 03:58 AM
6

Not everything your wife will do is a shit test. Sometimes there is a real logistics failure or a mismatch in your expectations. For most MRP newbies, this normally boils over into conflict, but it doesn't have to. It's getting into the mindset where you don't take everything personally, but just another place where maybe your leadership was lacking. DNGAF and OI aren't about ignoring your wife, but taking taking her (and her emotions) in stride without losing your cool. It certainly shouldn't b…
/r/askMRP16/12/16 12:02 AM
5

she's using sex in order to maintain some kind of weird control over the situation Let's be honest... sex is a woman's superpower. They use it to secure a mate/provider, for validation, to apologize, to distract, or to get you to do chores. It's also useful for reproduction. And sometimes there's no motive beyond just feelingz. So, if you want to get bogged down in why she's batting her eyes and running her hand down your back, then I'm sure you can find a reason to talk yourself out of it. Othe…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/16 10:13 PM
3

Do any of you ever just NOT do the sex thing Look, if you're really too busy or too tired to perform, then don't. At the very least, tease her a bit (physically and emotionally) and parlay it into a more opportune time. But don't turn her down because you're trying to finish a movie or because she was a bitch earlier and hurt your feelings. Embrace OI, caveman her, then get on with being awesome. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/16 08:51 PM
4

Cold approaches at the the store or coffee shop are fine if your a TRPer willing to play the numbers game, meeting a few dozen people to number-close one or two. Do something that genuinely interests you, and perhaps something you excel at: join a co-ed sports teams or recreation groups, take an evening MBA class, try salsa dancing or BJJ, join a church or volunteer at a non-profit. At the very least, you get to have some fun or do something constructive, with the added bonus that you will meet …
/r/askMRP14/12/16 11:21 PM
2

Go to places where high quality people go No doubt. If you go to the bar, you're gonna meet bar girls. If you go to the soccer game, you're gonna meet soccer moms. If you Tinder, you're gonna get Tinderellas. Find someplace where (a) you meet a cross-section of people, (b) where you can show off your SMV, and (c) you have a chance to practice game and C+R.
/r/askMRP14/12/16 06:02 PM
3

she just didn't want to fuck a fat slob. She was also too kind to just come out and say it. This was it for me. My wife didn't want to hurt my feelings, or just didn't have the words to say what needed to be said. Hell, I'm sure if I asked right now, she'd still try and sugar coat things. Fuck me for falling into a rut, and fuck me for failing to see it. Thanks to MRP for opening my eyes and giving me a mirror so that I can be my own judge.
/r/askMRP14/12/16 03:40 PM
1

At the same time, wife spends an inordinate amount of time reading romance novels so there is more deep down, I think. Romance novels are catnip to women... they get to experience all of the emotions (both positive and negative) vicariously. Just like gossip, they get to judge and be superior, while still dipping their toe in the forbidden. Men do the same thing with action movies and sports on TV. So, to a degree, it's just harmless fantasy. But it also could be that she needs an escape from th…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/16 07:34 PM
7

Women need to be in the mood for sex, men just need the opportunity. In her mind she's thinking "I'd fuck him more if he gave more massages." In my mind, I'm thinking "I'd prob give her more massages if she fucked me more. Your mistake is making this transactional. She doesn't think that way... even the title of this thread is saying it. It's about emotion for her (mostly comfort, sometimes excitement or dread). When a massage leads to sex, it's because she's relaxed and enjoying your presence, …
/r/askMRP13/12/16 06:41 PM
14

Don't tell her where you're going, just say "Wear a dress on Friday, I'm taking you out." Then make all the arrangements, and look sharp yourself.
/r/askMRP13/12/16 03:54 PM
8

"why does it feel like... you want to push and control me" She's right. This was a massive power play; you were all demands, and she acceded. Good for you... except, not really. You're still way early in the anger phase, and stuck on keeping score. Your posts are a constant play-by-play of your marriage. From your post a few days ago: It seems my wife and I are in a deadlock at playing a game of chicken. [...] I honestly rather live in a sexless arrangement in which we raise our kids than ever s…
/r/askMRP12/12/16 09:17 PM
3

Almost the same thing yesterday... Was running errands, and called to ask if anyone had eaten lunch. "I did, but the kids haven't yet." It was a busy day, so I said I'd bring something home. Walk in the door, and she's like "where's mine?" "Sorry, you told me you that you'd eaten, so I didn't get any for you." Her: "That's not what I said". Me: <nothing, as I'd already apologized> Her: Grumbles while going to fix something, then eats sullenly at the table with the rest of us. Me: "Here's the pla…
/r/askMRP12/12/16 04:18 AM
6

You want "tricks" to engage your wife's emotions? If you've been together for 10 years, then you should know her better than we do. Engaging her emotion doesn't have to be return to blue pill, but understanding that affection and intimacy are as important to her as sex and respect are to you. You can be her oak, and still indulge her needs and feelings as a woman. The point of DEVI is to vary your approach. In addition to the 10 second kiss and domination techniques, you need to embrace your inn…
/r/askMRP09/12/16 01:04 AM
2

I’m 6’5” 359.2 lbs, 28 years old... I fucking hate cardio! I was pretty much i the same boat when I started (6'4", 340lbs, 45yo). I embraced keto and lost 29 pounds the first month, and was down 60 after three. The key is getting your diet in hard check, sticking to a gym plan, and getting off your ass. I started by both walking (45-60min) and lifting (5x5) 6 days a week, and after a month, added jogging for short stretches to my walks every other day. Look for "couch to 5k" (C25K) as a good tem…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/16 04:46 AM
14

I guess because we are "working on our marriage" I see from your history that you are in marriage counseling, and it sounds like you're doing everything you can to do the right thing. Let me consider this at least an indication that you want to try and work on your marriage, and not just jump ship. On the other hand, the limited slice of life in your post suggests that she's actively rejecting her responsibilities (chores, affection, sex). For each of these things, her argument seems to be "you'…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/16 09:31 PM
1

There are different strains, but the virus is still contagious between regions. You should be careful about incidental contact, and avoid oral sex during outbreaks. As 2guns mentions, most people are asymptomatic most of the time -- and many don't even know they are carriers. My outbreaks have certainly declined as I've gotten older, but that's because I understand better what triggers them (chapped lips, head colds) and recognize the "tingle" that precedes a recurrence. The HSV virus actually r…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/16 08:21 PM
1

There is no cure for HSV, but there are anti-virals that can help. The rashes come and go over time, especially when your immune system is weak or your skin is irritated. You're most contagious with the rashes or sores, but it can still spread when you're asymptomatic. Source: I've had cold sores since I was an infant.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/16 07:37 PM
12

So, this is all about her... what about you? You say you "go to the gym regularly", but do you (a) lift heavy, (b) do some cardio, or (c) just fuck around a bit? You say you do the dishes most nights, but what about the rest of the house? Is the place a mess or is it under control? Do you have a schedule or plan for cleaning, or is it mostly keeping shit to shoe-level? You say you never win any disputes. Instead of fighting, have you tried fogging (or just ignoring) her rants? Or just respond to…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/16 07:18 PM
1

You're mistaking "being a leader" with "being a boss". It's your place too -- make a list, then get to work. Don't do it to make a point and don't be passive aggressive, but because you'd still clean it yourself even if she wasn't there.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/16 03:27 AM
2

Had a big falling out last month. I maintained frame. Got good results--sex. Ugh, how often do we hear this from the newbies? "We fought, I stood up, got sex!" When you're thirsty, just getting a drink is a win! So congrats, you got your dick wet and took your eyes off the ball.
/r/askMRP02/12/16 02:24 AM
2

If he initiates because he thinks there's some spark that can be rekindled, then absolutely, he should try that. But if he's no longer offering genuine emotional commitment, then it's just an empty application of power and anxiety. we have seen repeatedly that [FMoFY] can trigger organic desire in a woman where there it was previously none. Not sure where this has been shown, but I don't believe it can happen unless the desire was suppressed due to anxiety, illness, ambivalence, or some other de…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/16 04:05 AM
2

even the thought of initiating just seems like a turn off for me. If the attraction and emotional connection isn't there for either of you, then this was probably the best thing that could happen. You can both accept that you have grown apart, that you have different needs, and it's time to move on. And there's no need to beat yourselves up about it any more than you have... embrace the fact that divorce sucks, but that it may be for the best. Do you still like your wife and want what's best for…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/16 03:33 AM
2

The future of your patriarchal success boils down to compartmentalizing what is intended to attract sexual attention, from what it is to be a positive masculine influence on your kids. This is exactly what I was thinking when I read these last 2 OYS posts. There are several elements of the (M)RP praexology that run contrary to being a parent, mostly because the relationship dynamic is completely different. Frame and OI are universal strategies, but things that may keep your adult wife/LTR on her…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/16 11:13 PM
4

She said, "it looked like you were hate fucking me at one point." [...] I felt slightly guilty after the fact You got your sex. As STP notes, this was your FMoFY moment. Did it fix anything for you? Do you feel closer to her, or her to you? Or was this simply about proving a point? Because, a bored Sunday and "shit or get off the pot" is no reason to have sex... except to prove that she will spread her legs if you demand it. The BP and XX brigades have a term for it, and it's not pretty. /u/Pers…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/16 10:43 PM
1

Exactly. When he looks back on this marriage, this will be the watershed moment that she first entered his frame, or that it was their "goodbye fuck" because he realized that she never would.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/16 09:59 PM
3

Women have their own social matrix, and they already know who the "hot" ones are in a given situation (as much as men do). But they also take notice when any woman is getting extra attention. That's what pre-selection and social proof is all about. Sure, it's great if you are spinning the HB8 or 9 hottie, but if you're comfortable enough to dance with an HB5 and make it look good, any woman can easily visualize herself in that place and will be more likely to approach / accept your invitation. S…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/16 08:17 PM
2

If you're having back problems with Barbell Rows, you might try Dumbell Rows instead. With less weight and more points of stabilization, its easier to keep good form while you build up your strength. As your squats increase, your core will get stronger and you can start hitting the BRs again. Congrats on taking the first step.
/r/askMRP23/11/16 03:12 PM
2

Not sure your height, but I'm 6'4" and ~260 right now (still have to lose 20 more, but I needed a break from dieting). I'm doing a similar program for a few more cycles, and I can't agree more on the high-reps == nice swole. I wish I had more space in the basement to do a Hang Clean, as I really want to hit my back and traps better. As for clothes, dark and gray jeans (Levi 541) and thermal henleys are my new go to as well. (I used to wear baggy ones, but now I have some that fit much better). I…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/16 11:58 PM
2

She may also have physical problems that are causing the soreness, such as Vaginismus.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/11/16 07:42 PM
1

I don't want to diminish the importance of feelings. Attraction and attachment were key to survival long before we stood upright as a species. The biological imperatives are wired deep, and the fact that we can't always explain them doesn't invalidate them at all. So, when a woman says she's attracted or not attracted, there may be a million small reasons -- including pheromones, hormones, pre-selection, etc -- but that sense is what kept her ancestors alive in a dangerous world. The difference …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/11/16 07:25 PM
5

"History is made by those who show up"
/r/TheRedPill21/11/16 05:57 PM
1

I have changed behaviours over the period so I help alot more, and try to initiate going out and things, but as I said above this doesn't seem to have made much difference if at all. Why would you keep trying to please someone who has made it clear they don't care at all? It sounds like she's doing the absolute minimum for the relationship, and is very up front about about her reasons and lack of attraction. The only thing she appears to get from you is a bit of comfort, otherwise you're just fr…
/r/askMRP19/11/16 05:40 AM
1

I think this is more like the "you don't need to work out, I don't like big muscles anyway" thing. She may actually think that, but it's more inertia and excuses than anything. Hell, there are still things around the house that I'd like to fix myself, but I'm finding that I like contracting it out to a professional instead of trying to pinch a penny then have it stretch out over several weekends. That said, I haven't made the leap yet to a cleaning service after bringing it up this summer, becau…
/r/askMRP18/11/16 10:57 PM
2

Perhaps she's internalized the difference between "I want; can I get my allowance?" and "I need; is it in the budget?" Sounds like a positive thing to me.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/16 09:52 PM
1

She's almost certainly trying to fuck with you. Nobody leaves that in the open "accidentally" if they want to blindside you. If you're playing the expectations or dread game, then it's likely she is too. Still, step 1: Call a divorce attorney. If she wants to play the divorce card, know your options. There's no need to go into this flat-footed. Step 2: Call all of the local divorce attorneys, including the one in the newsletter -- conflict all of them out so she can't use them. Then, if she real…
/r/askMRP18/11/16 09:18 PM
1

That looks pretty decent and more compact than the one I got, though $450 is a touch high for a rack and bench combo. (I got a flat bench with mine, and now I'm wishing I'd spent a bit more for the incline.) At the very least, make sure both the bench and the rack will support the load (bench = weight + body weight). Also, be sure to check Craigslist for deals on used weights and racks.
/r/askMRP18/11/16 07:31 PM
1

About 2 years ago, my wife started mentioning the new Chad in the neighborhood. They worked some functions together and it was "he's so smart" and "you'd like him", and at the same time, he was pretty much right in her strike zone for attraction. I knew she had a crush, and that was fine. Hell, there's several women in that group and others that I am acutely aware of when they enter the room. Until suddenly her idle mentions of him stopped. This was a few months before my BP meltdown, and while …
/r/askMRP18/11/16 07:14 PM
1

I've bought groceries at midnight to make sure my home works well in anticipation for three upcoming days of scheduled hell. It doesn't make you a beta fag to do domestic things for your own happiness. Or to take the kids somewhere afterward, and give her a little time to decompress.
/r/askMRP18/11/16 06:45 PM
3

If he's only 2 weeks into a program, he needs to work on range of motion and good form much more than strength itself. Stretching and bodyweight exercises are a great way to start. Just like you don't want to go Red Pill Rambo in your marriage, jumping into heavy lifts before your body is ready is a great way to injure yourself. I'm in my mid 40's. When I first started, before my power rack and weights arrived, I spent 30 minutes a day doing deep knee bends, planks, and sit ups. I was an athlete…
/r/askMRP17/11/16 04:19 PM
3

Lots of good advice, but I'm going to disagree with /u/TheFamilyAlpha here and tell you *not * to sit her down about this yet. That's a discussion that can go well or go badly depending on how you handle it. My advice is to bring her into your frame a step at a time. One of the first things I did when I started my MAP was to invite my wife for a morning walk a couple days a week (and began running on the other days). I used to be physically active, but had let myself go. She was never quite as a…
/r/askMRP15/11/16 11:43 PM
1

Damn, you're gonna make all the MRP n00bs think that they can leap tall buildings and smash new pussy with these sorts of FRs. He's the Red Pill Hero we want and the one we deserve.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/16 08:10 PM
2

What are your thoughts on losing attraction and connection, but still seeing potential. I should have put a big disclaimer that guys early in their MAP should avoid nuking their marriage while they are still stuck in the anger phase or before she's had a chance to recognize and catch up to your improvements. Of course, most of the folks who come asking these type of questions ("I've lifted for 3 months, but my wife is still fat" or "I hit dread level 9 yesterday and DNGAF, but she's still a bitc…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/16 05:33 PM
1

I know it sounds sort of lame to be writing so much about "omg a girl gave me the time of day" Nope, just keep it in context. You've been a BP validation whore so long, that this attention is just a quick dopamine fix to someone suffering withdrawal. Most of us spend the first few months of our MAP fueled by anger or just to escape. Now you have a chance to put all of that negativity into perspective, and start working on yourself for positive reasons. So double down on that feeling, and pour yo…
/r/askMRP14/11/16 08:06 PM
4

If you have lost all attraction and connection, then the only thing left in your marriage is obligation -- does she offer enough value to you to offset the costs and rewards of divorce? This seems like a utilitarian way to plot your future, but if you truly DNGAF, then it should be a straightforward decision. Surely you can find plenty of RP hero stories on life after marriage, if you need encouragement. But there are folks like TFA and SPT who find enough reason to stay with their wives. My wif…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/11/16 06:28 PM
0

I'm having trouble with sexual escalation and letting it be natural. I ussualy am fairly direct even when I think im being subtle. Do you only flirt/kino when you want sex? Mix it up man... grab her ass as you walk by, and keep going. Hug her from behind and kiss her neck while she's making dinner. Stroke her forearms when you're in the car together, or watching TV. Nibble on the backs of her knees when you climb into bed with her, then go to sleep. And do all of this without escalating to sex m…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/16 07:24 PM
1

I see you've gotten a couple downvotes... probably because there's a lot about her in what should be "owning your shit". But, those are powerful insights. It sounds like you have your head on straight and moving forward on your MAP. I look forward to seeing your progress.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/16 06:19 PM
7

Divorce the fuck out. Bitch does not respect you, bitch does not support you working and earning monies for her sorry piece of ass. This has to end. Sure, if you actually treat his post as the gospel. More likely, he's gone all Red Pill Rambo, disappearing for hours on end and throwing out boundaries that he can't enforce -- so she's she's doing whatever she can to break his frame. She's a reflection of his (lack of) leadership. One of the best moments of that relationship of mine was bitch-slap…
/r/askMRP09/11/16 10:35 PM
4

Hold on, you're burying the lede here: this is abuse. Especially if this is her standard tactic for getting your attention. This is on par with physically striking you, throwing objects, or screaming at you for extended periods of time. If this were a BP or 2X forum, there would be no gray area -- they would tell you to leave and not look back. Which makes me wonder -- why the fuck don't you just leave when she starts this shit? But something doesn't sound right.... you claim that you're maintai…
/r/askMRP09/11/16 10:16 PM
2

She has an emotional outburst, so you want to react emotionally as well, but divorce her over an argument? Are you seeking to punish her here? Do you think tit-for-tat is really going to resolve the problem that she doesn't respect you? Don't set boundaries that you aren't willing to (or don't know how to) enforce. State what you'll do, and then do it: "I need my sleep, but if you won't let me get some, I will leave." Then pack an overnight bag and make yourself scarce.
/r/askMRP09/11/16 08:08 PM
0

In hindsight I could have pushed a little harder for her to be engaged or a&a'd better but at that point i feel like I'm just a monkey dancing for quarters. Your actions sound perfectly OI -- you did what you'd normally do after an evening out, took her rejection in stride, and didn't try to break her frame. "my Russian mail order bride, making sure I got the right size. You wouldn't believe the return policy on them." I love this! I'm going on day 9 of no sex She's counting these days as well. …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/16 05:39 AM
2

Cool story bro, perfect MRP spank material.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/16 06:43 PM
2

Abundance mentality is knowing you can have any woman you want. Breaking co-dependency is knowing that you don't need someone to validate you, and that the pussy doesn't control you. So many guys who come on here and claim to be OI and DNGAF after 6 months, that you gotta laugh because you know they are full of shit, because they still brag about the number of blowjobs they got this week or the HB8 that hung all over them at the bar. Sometimes I wonder if you'll ever kill all your demons. You've…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/16 04:37 PM
1

If you're drug-free, substance-free, alcohol-free as me, if you keep the diet and it is still hard to abstain from compulsive behaviours for you, just remember - you will be enlightened if you abstain. Addiction is a crutch. It helps you cope with challenges and injury, and the longer you use it, the weaker you become. You don't just need it on the bad days, but eventually, you need it because you'd rather not deal with the small indignities on regular days. It numbs those feelings, and numbs yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/16 04:16 PM
5

How about you don't keep it short? Six months into a MAP doesn't mean anything to us, and there are a hundred reasons why your wife may not be into sex with you -- even during ovulation. Or does wife mean what she says. Yeah, when she says you're not getting her off, she's probably means it. Consider the alternatives: She fakes an orgasm to soothe your ego. She's starfishes until you're done, then rolls over to sleep. She gives you a chance, and then says "yeah, that's not working". Try reading …
/r/askMRP07/11/16 01:38 AM
3

Initiate when you want sex, and if she responds, fuck her silly. If she needs your dick, she knows where to find you. Finally, remember rule 1 and 2. Do you even lift bro?
/r/askMRP06/11/16 12:30 AM
2

I don't know about that... men are more than happy to grind each other down over differences in strength, income, etc to raise their perceived status in the pecking order. "I am better than you at X, so I must be better than you." It's a defense mechanism as well, a way to boost your own ego and decisions by diminishing someone else's accomplishments and challenges. And to be fair, divorce is a failure -- but there are lessons to learn from failure. To discount experience, just because it comes …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/16 05:26 PM
8

"I just don't feel sexy or attractive at all right now". Men want to be respected, women want to be desired. For the first time in her life, at 34, she is really struggling to lose baby weight from our recent child. [...] I am the most attractive I have ever been in our relationship. Do you see the problem? You're sprinting ahead, and she's stuck in an anxiety trap. Here, let J10 explain it. Aside from getting more attractive myself, what do I do with this test from her? The old me would just co…
/r/askMRP05/11/16 04:28 PM
4

I'd like to respond to your points. I come at this from the married RP perspective, and not the TRP (or TRM) one. I think there are some good lessons to be found on those groups, but also a lot of bad ones. Worse, they tend to be echo chambers, and hostile to moderate voices or contrary opinions. Red Pill does tend to attract mentally fucked up women and usually the more dominant, aggressive etc you go, the more likely you're to attract a equally fucked up woman; Agreed. There are plenty of peop…
/r/ExRedPill03/11/16 08:01 PM
3

But holding on to her victimhood is just so damn enticing that sometimes she prefers it to enjoying herself. The RP narrative is that we're giving men agency in their relationships. The BP narrative is that we're diminishing women's agency. There's truth in both of those viewpoints. We like to throw around solipsism as an essential attribute of women, but a casual survey of FRs shows that we are just as guilty of it. Hell, we're all here because we're so self-centered and needy, right? You can o…
/r/askMRP03/11/16 06:10 PM
2

Let me ask you a question... are you using RP to fix your wife, to fix your marriage, or to fix yourself? "You are an asshole for having joined this misguided misogynistic psycho cult." I'm not unsympathetic to the way that TRP and MRP are viewed by those outside the community. There are a lot of topics about "making her your slut" or "my wife is so submissive since I did X", but the base line is that we are teaching men to take responsibility and improve themselves. This is first and foremost a…
/r/askMRP03/11/16 04:07 PM
1

I was butt hurt when I first read this Good. There's nothing wrong with anger and frustration at this stage, but just be sure it's directed at the right target. Are you pissed at us, are you pissed at her, or at yourself? I should feel guilty. Fuck guilt. Sure, many will tell you that TRP is amoral, but I'm not one of those. What I am saying is that, the plan you suggested above is weak and cowardly. If you legitimately feel that she's not giving you the value you want or deserve, then by all me…
/r/askMRP02/11/16 05:18 AM
2

FWIW, I had my T levels checked a few months back, and they came back fine... but apparently my Vitamin D levels were low. Taking supplements for that, as well as switching from a cut to a bulk, has helped my mojo quite a bit.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/16 01:39 AM
4

Is the risk of being caught and nuking your marriage worth the fleeting endorphin rush? This is just one chick who wants your dick... but abundance mentality is about actual abundance. There's a reason we talk about the progression of passive and active dread, about making men than are attractive to all women, and not just chasing tail to get your dick wet. When you become the prize, enough that getting IOIs from women becomes the norm and not something to brag about on the Internet, then you'll…
/r/askMRP01/11/16 03:10 AM
3

I will probably try to rent a van prior to this to get most of my stuff moved out when she's out of the house. That way I can leave and never come back after I've said my part. We'll discuss the rest of this through our lawyers. This sounds like you aren't even sure you'll be able to leave her unless you're already out the door, and you won't have to deal with the pieces. So let me ask this... Are you afraid of your wife? Because, from my reading, it sounds like she's not a harpy or unreasonable…
/r/askMRP01/11/16 02:48 AM
2

Those numbers aren't hugely impressive to anyone but me. I know how much effort went into every bit of improvement. The benefits of lifting aren't just the physical improvements, or the comments validation from female friends, but also the confidence that it builds in you. You set your goals and you see the changes -- small at first, but real. That's why it's the first step of your MAP.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/10/16 12:22 AM
1

Yeah, I ordered this one from the manufacturer and have been really happy. 10% off + free shipping = $270. Along with the free weights, it's the best investment I've made in my MAP.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/10/16 06:20 PM
1

bitches are working 70 hours a week and are tired. they still want to get fucked though. That's it exactly. This date isn't someone looking for a quickie, but an interview to see if they might be interested in him as a LTR or FWB when it does come time to unwind.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/16 03:13 PM
1

"Dueling pianos" you say. A quick Google gives me a nearby hit for something that looks fun. I will have to give it a shot!
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/16 08:46 PM
2

Polarizing is for day game, where your making moves on a dozen women to get one "hit". You don't need to put these women on the spot, as they've already agreed to see you once. Now you need to be confident and DNGAF, instead of needy and DTF. The divorced bit just reinforces for them why you are trying so hard.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/16 08:28 PM
2

To pile on with Persaeus and Sampson, it really feels like you're trying too hard. Lay some groundwork -- be confident and assertive, mix in some light touches and accidental bumps -- but hold off on making out or stop-and-go stuff unless you are getting strong signals. Banter and light kino are fine, but you're acting like a teenager trying to get laid on the first date. Meet at 8 or 9pm at the bar across the street from my place (where I'm comfortable, they know me, and I have some social proo…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/16 08:20 PM
2

WISNIFG ... Assertively Those are completely different poles on the MRP spectrum. WISNIFG is a tool for co-dependent, validation-starved pussies who can't say no. I'm not even sure how you can claim to be assertive at all. You made your demand, and then let her drive the discussion while you fogged your half until you got bored/hurt/whatever? Assertive is using day bang on your wife. It's showing her that she's sexy by being physical instead of using words. Scheduling a sitter, telling her to we…
/r/askMRP18/10/16 06:06 AM
1

625 lbs (BP/SQ/DL, PR and up another 35 lbs in last two weeks) [...] 550 lbs five weeks ago You've bumped each of your lifts an average of 5lbs / week over 5 weeks, and 12lbs each in just the last 2 weeks? That's awesome man! Are these your 1rpm or working sets? Not sure if my bulk is out of control or there are some beginner gainz (muscle/fat/water). On the one hand, I am consistently pushing more iron, and my upper torso is definitely getting larger. On the other hand, I gained 1.5 pounds per …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/16 03:31 PM
1

Two things: You are judging her lack of attraction and affection by her words and actions. Every time you victim puke or DEER, she is doing the same to you. "Don't be unattractive" includes all of this insecurity and neediness, so "Be attractive" -- exude confidence, dress and act the way you want to be treated, and treat her like a man treats a woman. I'm not talking flowers or cards, but take her out. Don't fake being happy, be happy. You come on here and vent all your frustrations, but she ca…
/r/askMRP12/10/16 02:49 PM
4

The problem isn't just that you hit your wife, but that you've done it before. This situation can go two ways -- it can escalate or it can end now. What will happen the next time she's in your face about how stupid you are? It's fine to be contrite now, but it's not enough -- because the next time, it might be your daughter that gets hurt. You have to understand that you are a hair's breadth from losing everything over this incident. I mean, if your wife has any sense, you'd be at the curb and t…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/10/16 08:10 PM
8

He admits to hitting his wife, and not just once, but then says she's the one that needs professional help. Nice. Apologies and promises not to do it again are all just hot air. Your wife may be a harpy or a despicable person, but nobody deserves abuse. My advice: Man up, take responsibility for yourself and your actions. Get yourself a lawyer, a new apartment, and a therapist or some anger management classes. You might be lucky that she hasn't reported you yet, but it sounds like this is a patt…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/10/16 07:02 PM
1

Why is she recording your conversations? Did she expect you to go ballistic or spill the beans about an affair, and to what point? Seems like a huge red flag to me.
/r/askMRP05/10/16 01:09 AM
1

There's nothing wrong with chatting up someone in retail when you are the customer, but keep in mind that they are working and most likely just being professional -- especially if a tip is involved. Unless you are getting strong signals (repeated kino in non-touch situations, or she's asking if you have a wife/GF), then don't get your hopes up. On the other hand, when you're "chatting someone up", you should at least have an end goal in mind. Are you actually trying to pick her up, just making s…
/r/askMRP30/09/16 07:08 PM
1

Are you fit? in-shape? have you read all the sidebar? She doesn't feel compelled to do a great job. She doesn't fear losing you. There's no dread. What's that got to do with anything? His wife finds him undesirable, so she's phoning it in? That may be for sex and intimacy, but has nothing to do with mornings. Entertaining the kids is all well and good, but OP is not leading. Kids that age respond well to a routine, so own the morning: Make a schedule for everyone, and stick to it. Pick out cloth…
/r/askMRP28/09/16 06:58 PM
2

Shortcut to Size I haven't seen that one before, but if you're focusing on size over strength, then you need more reps than a 5x5 program -- and that means a lower weight. The soreness is because you're exercising your muscles differently (Sarcoplasmic vs Myofibrillar hypertrophy). Programs like PHUL alternate heavy lifting at fewer reps with lighter lifting and more reps, to give a "balanced" approach -- hit your 5x5 one day, then go 70% 3x8-12 on the other. For a while I did a "50/50" program …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/16 10:25 PM
1

My wife asked shortly after I set up my home gym. I consider it a bit of a comfort test (don't get better without me), but mainly that she's following my lead. I give her a spot for bench presses, but otherwise she's on her own to be ready and set up her lifts. She groused a bit of about my lift recommendations, so I offered to get her a trainer for a month so that she could build her own routine; after a couple weeks' progress, she stopped complaining entirely. She's even been as consistent as …
/r/askMRP15/08/16 07:36 PM
5

If her pussy really is broken, as he says, wouldn't an open relationship be a better option? He'll get some mediocre ass and she theoretically wouldn't get any sex. Or she'll realize that she's not as broken as she thought...
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 08:46 PM
2

Hitting plateau on bench, and not sure how to get around it. Current plan is to reduce weight and increase reps for a while. Any other ideas? A couple other things to try: Try hitting the same muscles from a different angle: incline bench, decline bench, OHP, switch from BB to DB or vice versa. Run your normal sets, then do reverse pyramid set (increase reps while decreasing weight) down to 50%. Make sure to include some accessory lifts for your triceps. My BP stalled for a while, but I added re…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 08:33 PM
2

I forgot one more: While walking, steer her with your hand on her lower back.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/08/16 07:23 PM
5

Physical touch: This one sounds easy but in fact is real easy to mess up. Sometimes a hug is just a hug, a cuddle just a cuddle. A comforting hug and an untimely grope are just a few inches apart. DO NOT kino when you are supposed to comfort. It is a gradient, but there's a lot you can do to "be present" physically that don't have to be overtly sexual: Stroke her forearm while you're sitting next to each other. Rub her shoulders and neck with one hand while you're driving. Put a light hand on he…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/08/16 03:14 PM
2

Another "new" account offering spot on MRP wisdom and analysis. And this comment is gold. To paraphrase: The opposite of co-dependency and validation addiction is not just DNGAF when she compliments you or OI when she turns you down, but a strong frame and the abundance mentality that you literally don't even notice. Let me add that, I wish I'd read this advice last night... I could have used it earlier.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/16 11:54 PM
0

I think it's two-fold. First, I'm working to break my co-dependency and my addiction for validation, and sex has been a big part of that for me. But I also think there's a passive-aggressive element to it, as I try to assert my frame. Finally, yeah, it could be T-levels... my blood test is scheduled. Still working through this mental shit. Wish it was as easy to see my progress as lifting.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/16 03:39 AM
0

OP alone isn't enough for her That's not how I read it, just that she was bored because he's an lazy indoor fuck who can't think of anything fun beyond laundry. She wants to spend time with him, but she needs him to lead and give her some tingles. As I said, they seem to be polar opposites on this... but the first step is owning his time and getting his shit in a pile.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/16 08:39 PM
2

What did she think would happen if she got caught? She wrote it all down in her diary in detail. She wanted to get caught.
/r/askMRP03/08/16 02:21 AM
1

No ED, I had better things to do than just grinding away. (I can't believe I'm saying that about sex.)
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/16 10:58 PM
3

She hated her job and would just rant and rant and rant on the phone. [...] She had always told me, “you don’t want to live me, I’m crazy.” She’s not crazy by any means. But she is neat, organized, and high functioning. Dishes, laundry, cooking, dusting, etc are always on her mind. So she's a generally anxious person, and you're pretty laid back. And you've gotten yourself engaged, both to ease her anxiety and because it was the path of least resistance for you. This will be the pattern of your …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/16 10:01 PM
2

Exactly six months since swallowing. Here's a breakdown of my MAP. Lifting: Start: 5x5 on big 3 lifts with empty bar, 6 days week alternating legs and upper body. Added lifts and accessories over time, and hypertrophy has greatly increased since I started using elastic bands about 2 months ago. Squats are still stalled though. Current: Bench=155, Squat=225, DL=315 3rm. Goal: Want to hit 2/3/4 plates by February, and 1k club by next summer. Switching to a PPL-based program 6 days week, with extra…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/16 04:39 PM
1

If you're looking for a ONS to build a little abundance mentality, then having the talk isn't required -- have your fun and move on. But if you're actually looking to plate her, that implies an ongoing relationship. Even if she's completely DTF, there are so many more risks: she discovers the truth, that she catches feelings, maintaining contact on the sly, etc. What is the point of the exercise? I see lots of downsides, and not much upside apart from the thrill and validation of getting your di…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/16 06:55 PM
1

I can't tell if this is serious or sarcastic. secretly kind of likes it. Well, kind of really fucking likes it when she sees you aren't playing a game but really do hold yourself in higher regard than her. What does this even mean? He was playing games. the tears are 50% tingles Or, you know, that she's having a bad morning, and he's laying in bed pretending to sleep. Then he uses this as a chance to establish boundaries. These aren't the actions of a leader who DNGAF, it's a drunk captain (or a…
/r/askMRP25/07/16 03:28 PM
1

This wasn't a shit test, but a woman whose reflecting her drunk captain. She having a shitty morning with the kids, and you're in bed pretending to ignore the entire thing. Is complete chaos a normal thing in the morning at your house? If so, then you need to get your ass out of bed and be part of the solution, and not use her frustration as a chance to "establish boundaries". Better still, make sure shit is done the night before, the kids are in bed on time, and that mornings have a routine. Th…
/r/askMRP25/07/16 03:03 PM
2

Let me add that, you're clearly setting yourself on a track for a big confrontation. There will be plenty of people here telling you to stay strong, don't look back. You've had months now to plan your departure, but the actual act will be a surprise to her. This is going to be a real test of your resolve. She's going to insist that "it's not what you think" and "we just talked, nothing happened", but the fact is that she's opened the door herself and is hoping that something will. She's still ho…
/r/askMRP25/07/16 01:10 AM
1

Lifting: StrongLifts 5x5 for the next 4-6 months, using free weights, then find an intermediate program. Style: Pick up some flat-front chinos or slacks, tapered at the bottom, a few button-down oxfords and/or polos, and a pair of boat shoes.
/r/askMRP24/07/16 06:52 PM
4

The cynic in me is already thinking she's happy because she's dreaming about her emotional affair and their upcoming meeting Absolutely... she's riding an endorphin high from her emotional affair, or maybe she's feeling guilty because of it? It was probably nice to get some attention from her, but what you actually got were sloppy seconds -- a bit of reflected affection and happiness. Can you be satisfied with that? it hit me like a ton of bricks that all this will be gone in a few days In a few…
/r/askMRP24/07/16 06:38 AM
14

she will never admit it, but she notices them touching your arm when talking, holding a goodbye hug longer. If you saw a dude reach out and touch your wife's arm or linger with a hug, you'd know immediately what was up. Women are way more in tune with this sort of thing -- yeah, she knows.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/07/16 03:07 PM
2

She admitted a few days ago how horrible she feels, how she knows how badly she fucked up, regrets all of it, sees what a great guy I am, etc. [...] hoping that I might get laid out of it. She's had more than one EA. There may be guilt, but she's just keeping you in her orbit. You need to get your head on straight: she's your roommate, and not a paying one at that. First step: go out and find someone new, and get laid. Second step: kick her to the curb.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/07/16 01:19 AM
1

I just hit 3 plates on my lifts and haven't had any concerns about the bar so far. I'd be more concerned about the bench, which is also rated 300lbs and has to hold you and the weights. That said, if you're really interesting in training for something beyond a home gym and amateur gainz, then yeah, you'll want to properly upgrade your equipment when the time comes.
/r/askMRP11/07/16 02:41 PM
7

Dick's has a 300lb olympic weight set for $200. Add an olympic dumbbell for $35 more while you're there. Order a T2 Power Rack for $300. Or check Craigslist for a deal on a used one. Finally, get a decent bench from Amazon for $90 and maybe a rubber mat for $35 to put underneath. For $660 (or $360 without the rack), you have a 24/7 gym in your garage or basement. Since getting mine in Feb, I've picked up a couple more plates and some accessories, but the initial investment was more than worth it…
/r/askMRP09/07/16 02:37 PM
1

I am expecting crazy hot porn sex when she is ovulating. Expecting. I am not gaming her properly, I just want to pitch up and I want her to produce. Just because I am there. This was me last week. I tried to make up for it with a little caveman, but I really need to improve my game here.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/16 08:03 PM
5

Who is this newcomer who is so wise in the ways of MRP?
/r/askMRP07/07/16 07:44 PM
3

In the past, I noticed that my wife's interest in sex tended to be before or after shark week, not during peak ovulation. I dismissed this at the time, but now I think that it was more that she liked "comfort" sex with her beta husband, and wasn't getting the domination and wild sex that she craved at her peak. In my case, it was 1 and 2, but also that she was masturbating without me (who needs to fumble around for an hour with a fat, weak sauce husband, when she can do it herself in a couple mi…
/r/askMRP07/07/16 07:42 PM
1

/u/screechhater writes: The calculator app, the pictures, the lingerie, [...] More astonishing is you cannot recognize - she fucking lied to you over and over. Regardless of the fact she was fucking someone else, she lied. Over and over. So much this. This wasn't a casual hookup, it wasn't a sordid emotional tryst, but an extended and well-planned affair. She was getting her dopamine fix right under his nose. The gaslighting and trickle truth should underscore how little he can trust her apologi…
/r/askMRP07/07/16 03:30 PM
3

If it's a lot of I's: I don't like this, I can't take this anymore. Those are largely comfort tests. Ignore the actual words, listen to the subtext, the body language. It generally boils down to a girl telling you that she is punching above her weight, and she's worried that she's going to lose the fight. After sex, the primary lever women use to impose their will is emotion. Her anger or sadness is thrown out there as consequences of how you (or the world) treat her, and the BP/SJW contract is …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/16 08:54 PM
1

Expecting wife to be happy or appreciative when I manage the house or kids or career well. It's not the specific chores or the paycheck itself that make her happy, but being the type of man that just handles them. You don't get points for doing them, but you do lose them when you don't.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/16 06:54 PM
3

This didn't start a month ago. It was going on while she was still at home, but the change in circumstances has flushed it out.
/r/askMRP30/06/16 02:43 PM
3

In this case, I'm talking about applying dread to get his wife back. The 12 levels of dread are improving yourself to cause anxiety and mate-guarding in your SO. His post is all about blaming his woes on everything and everyone but himself -- alcohol, women, drugs, and "emotional weakness" -- and then trying to convince people that he's finally getting it together this time and that it will never happen again. His problems start with himself (addiction, depression, co-dependency), and focusing o…
/r/askMRP29/06/16 07:34 PM
3

How do I make myself awesome again, and let her see it, with text messages. Facebook bugs the shit out of me, but seems the best way to subtly show off the cool shit the kids and I are doing without her, and that I became a super dad. Stop. Just stop. Stop thinking that a few pictures of good parenting convince anyone that you're "fixed". Stop thinking that being awesome for half the day makes up for being a drunk slob the rest. Stop looking for validation from your wife, and take a hard sober l…
/r/askMRP29/06/16 01:59 PM
3

You're boring because you're working 60 hours a week, and she doesn't see you. You're boring because you're not partying. I'm guessing that most of her co-workers are single? We have just grown apart a lot in the past 5 months. Was this because you swallowed the red pill, or vice versa? You say in your earlier post she doesn't respect you... but you don't mention how your sex life is/was. Are you working through a slump, or has she just never been that attracted to you? It sounds like she chose …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/16 11:07 PM
1

"I never thought it would get this far" and "I always thought we'd get back together" It's a huge "fitness test" -- she wants you to fight for her and the marriage. By the time things have gotten so bad that divorce has turned from a scary possibility to a negotiating tactic, any efforts on your part will just drag things out, and become fodder for her ego as she heads out the door.
/r/askMRP27/06/16 07:26 PM
1

Have you tried the techniques from WISNIFG, such as fogging or negative assertion?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/16 08:07 PM
1

There are marriage vows and prenups, and you want to add another contract? Especially one about the "tone" of your relationship? If you want to negotiate more blow jobs or that she'll never get fat, then go for it. What could go wrong? Or maybe you just promise never to "go to bed angry" or "be one of those couples." Look, I've been married for a long time, and I can say that without question, the sheer tonnage of what I didn't know back then... forget the "blue pill" aspects, life just happens …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/16 04:00 PM
6

She isn't your mother and she isn't your mission That's MRP gold right there. Should be emblazoned at the top of the sidebar.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/16 08:03 PM
4

I'm good. Happiest I've been in a long time Re-read the 4 quotes I've pulled from your posts, and count the number of times you've not initiated when she expected you to. Does this sound like a happy man? You may be happy, or you may have convinced yourself that you are, but you've given her every indication that you're not.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/16 05:47 PM
3

she feels like we are close to divorce Nice F.U.D. she's sowing (fear uncertainty and doubt). A tactic of a poor boss. Normally dropping the D-bomb is a way to induce anxiety and recover control, and I'd suggest that he swat it away and double down on his MAP. But he's not leading her, and his MAP been more erratic than anything. Everything is in her frame. She's gone to the bank and opened a new bank account, and is now depositing her money where he can't access it. This isn't a shit test, it's…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/16 05:33 PM
8

Lots of good comments here, so I won't repeat them, just pull back the camera a bit. Over the weekend last she had an argument. She decided we were going to Disney on vacation. Argument ensued. Every situation I failed at leadership brought up. Accused of being a controlling male. This isn't dread or "interesting", this is main event territory. She's seen your changes, and she's not ready to hand anything over to you. You've been posting to MRP for 2 months, and talk a lot about the boundaries t…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/16 04:00 PM
10

That's how evolutionary biology works: you are now the provider and she's the nurturer for the baby. This shit is hardwired. You have gone from first in her life to last. So how long does this last? A couple relevant milestones in mother-child separation will be: When she's ready to go out without the baby. When the baby stops breastfeeding. When the child goes off to preschool. Do I just wait it out? No, you can be supportive and give her time "off". Play with the baby and let her sleep, take h…
/r/askMRP20/06/16 09:48 PM
1

I actually think it's also a measure of control. Not necessarily control over you, but just that whoever reviews the spending can see how much shit you throw money at. If she's keeping the budget, then you're the one pissing away money. If you keep it, then you're leading.
/r/askMRP20/06/16 05:43 PM
1

Wow, yeah, I forgot to add mental to my list of suggestions. No "idle" snacking, you don't have to finish what's on your plate, and look for small things to improve your diet/fitness that suit your tastes or lifestyle.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/06/16 04:18 PM
1

I'm 45, 6'4" and started at 340lbs, with most of my weight on my gut. I'm currently down 70 pounds over 4.5 months. I posted some of my details and routines here. I've stalled a bit these last 2 weeks, probably because I've cut back a bit on lifting, but I'm tightening my diet to try and push through. Your results will certainly vary. My top level advice would be: Cardio Pick up some running shoes and start walking 5-6 days a week for an hour. In 2-3 weeks, start running every other day for 30-4…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/06/16 04:08 PM
4

I dunno man, I'm thinking she's just using you as a babysitter and dangling the sex as a carrot. And the more you game her, the more desperate you're going to appear. But... you wanted advice, so here's mine: get another girlfriend. Seriously. Go out and be someone else's alpha, someone who doesn't have a history with you. Fix yourself, work on your own game, and become a man that women want to be with (and not just to watch their kids). And if you insist on letting your ex stay with you, she at…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/16 08:34 PM
3

“Are you happy with this new life? I mean with your changes?” Well, there it is. This is the point in your MAP that you've been leading her to, with all of the dread and game: she wants to know how she fits in to your frame. In your previous OYS, I asked if she resented you, but it seems more like she's just anxious. Most of your reports are you going out alone, you taking her out to do your things, and you making plans without sharing. At the same time, you've withdrawn several times in the las…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/16 05:21 AM
1

/s = sarcasm
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/16 12:18 AM
1

A great FR and a well-implemented plan. I especially like the balance between passive and active dread -- showing enough game to wake up her hamster, without "hitting on the waitress". One of the things I’ve been actively trying to break the habit of is talking about the kids when we’re alone, but I haven’t cracked that nut yet. This comes from her spending 24/7 at home. If she's not talking about the mundane details of potty-training, it's logistics for next week. At the same time, MRP suggests…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/16 03:37 AM
1

There's a window after childbirth where her body needs to heal. There are also strong hormones and typically a new baby that is attached to her for many hours during the day and night. Finally, you go from being first in her life to, well, last. But to establish an 18-month waiting period out of the gate is a shit test. There are plenty of other ways to be intimate other than PIV, and plenty of opportunities as well. There are plenty of strategies on MRP to help with kindle her attraction and dr…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/16 03:03 PM
3

His husband looks at me and in front of my wife says sorry hunny but your wife is the leader you are not a leader. Time to establish dominance. Unzip and piss on the carpet without breaking eye contact.
/r/askMRP10/06/16 08:57 PM
2

she's doing them to prove that I'm not the only one around here who can do them. The things are getting done, which is my goal. Yeah, that's what I've seen as well. I suppose that when I do certain chores that she used to do, she considers it a passive aggressive play (hell, maybe it is), but the point is to make sure that our home is clean and maintained regardless of who does it. Don't let it slip back into "her chores" and "my chores", but just do what needs to be done and ignore the subtext.…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/16 03:54 PM
0

I wasn't asking about your lifting. "Fitness test" comes from utility and game theory, and is just another term for "shit test", more like is terrified of being out of control. Yeah, her need for control and constant denials come from anxiety. This is a clear sign that you need to be the leader in the relationship. I'll investigate the PSTD angle, I know she was in a car crash when she was in her teens, but I'm guessing she's just a little tightly wound. It doesn't have to be abuse, it could jus…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/16 02:09 PM
2

I don’t think she’s doing it specifically for me, but rather she’s suddenly competing with me for who can do the most stuff. Interestingly, I’ve found myself looking for things to do around the house too, so I’m playing my own part in this competition. I was thinking about something similar while running this morning. Over our 20 years of marriage, my wife gradually paid less and less attention to the small things in the house. Each year, we'd "settle" a bit more... do a bit less. One of us woul…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/16 09:57 PM
1

Sometimes they never find Chad, and they settle for an orbiter.
/r/askTRP09/06/16 09:25 PM
3

I recently met a girl online and proceeded to talk to her on Skype. [...] she said she had fallen for me You're being used as an internet orbiter. She doesn't give a fuck about you, except to get some emotional validation that you're hanging on to her every word. Just because she says she's falling for you doesn't mean shit. So I told her to date me over the Internet. She said no. lol. She thinks you want her to show her tits or have Skype sex. There's nothing alpha about this, and she laughed b…
/r/askTRP09/06/16 07:37 PM
3

Oh, and about the lack of shit/comfort tests: She doesn't do fitness tests, because she's the one she holds accountable for her own failings. And when you fall short, it's her fault for choosing a weak-sauce husband, and that's just part of the package. Some of the guys here could learn from her. Even the shit test after sex was because you made her feel vulnerable. And comfort? She's got that shit nailed down. If she does come to you, it's mostly to reassure herself that your marriage is strong…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/16 04:32 PM
3

Once I learned to like her self denial and accept it I no longer tried to 'please' her with foreplay and other beta crap. If you want sex and she's willing to give it to you with no strings, then you're doing better than many of the men who come here. But trying to satisfy a woman who doesn't want to be satisfied seems like a battle not worth fighting. What you are really seeking is validation, and as the title suggests, she's as stingy with that as anything else. This all sounds like I'm in her…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/16 04:22 PM
2

It's ironic that you were trying to resolve your son's temper tantrum, when your wife started throwing her own. I think it's time to enforce some boundaries with both of them.
/r/askMRP09/06/16 02:42 PM
1

Maybe that's where I'm getting stuck... I actually like my wife.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/16 04:12 PM
1

AA/AM responses I'm getting better at AA/AM on direct shit tests, but I'm still wrestling with STFU and NGAF on some of the smaller stuff. Looks like I have to start aiming higher.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/16 07:21 PM
1

The first part of recovering from addiction is being honest with yourself. The ownership comes from taking each of the 12 steps, of not just saying the words but meaning them. Of admitting your weaknesses and failures out loud. The second part is going through the process with someone else who has been there too. Because otherwise, all of the advice just comes across as trite. This is why you stand up and bare your soul to a room of strangers, and they nod because they've looked into the same ab…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 09:00 PM
3

For example; much of her Sunday discussion was regarding my insistence on doing my thing. She apparently wants for us to do our thing together. Ok, but when I include her she just doesn't interact and looks like she'd rather be having a root canal than be out. Almost like a child sulking. Ugh, this paragraph. First, have you read WISNIFG? Go find the Bill of Assertive Rights and read it right now... we'll wait. Now look at your behavior over the weekend. Forget the lack of planning, was there an…
/r/askMRP06/06/16 08:32 PM
6

It's like going to a 12-step program, getting the brochure and thinking "Oh yeah, I can do those things. I should be able to knock this out in a couple days." Going through the motions without actually introspecting and applying the lessons to yourself doesn't do anybody any good. MRP is about ownership, not membership.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 04:40 PM
15

What the fuck happened here? Seriously? You are the classic drunk captain. You spent the entire time reacting to the situation instead of being a leader. You didn't plan the weekend or the birthdays. You didn't follow through with your friend to see the band just because your wife sat down next to you. You didn't even tell your friend that you were bailing, and left him to hang about awkwardly. You let your wife complain about your erstwhile plans, and turn it into a pity party. You left and cam…
/r/askMRP06/06/16 04:14 PM
1

FWIW, you didn't go into much detail about your wife, so I extrapolated a lot in my response based on one stereotype. It's also possible that her identity isn't as invested in religion, but only that her expectations were. If this is the case, she may still be disappointed in your lack of faith and think less of you for now. There are women who are attracted to men of principle, who will cleave to him if he strikes out on his own even if it means she has to sacrifice or compromise what she was r…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/16 04:42 AM
2

We generally focus on the legal and social contracts of marriage here on MRP, but you are dealing with the religious component. People who are raised in a strictly religious culture tend to either embrace it fully, or reject it (and generally leave or are pushed out). They also follow the gender roles espoused by that culture, and expect their spouses to as well. This is good when both of you are committed to your religion and culture, as it can curb certain behaviors sins associated with the mo…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/16 03:58 AM
2

It sounds like you are well on your way to building your frame. She recognizes that you're making changes, so she's poking at it to see how serious you are. Keep on going, man!
/r/askMRP05/06/16 02:38 AM
5

Forget about the future. You have minimal control over it. Forget about the past, it cannot be changed. What you have is right now, this precise second. I couldn't express what I wanted to say, but this hits closest to the mark. OP, this is one of those times where you just keep your head down and moving forward. Forget the sex, forget dread, and focus on what's in front of you. Decide what you want to do and then own it. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and maybe her passing will devast…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/16 09:10 PM
1

What's to be wary of? It's not like you're going to marry her tomorrow. If she's as hot and feminine and smart and willing to do stuff for you... then enjoy your time together.
/r/askMRP03/06/16 12:27 AM
1

Forgive me MRP for I have sinned. It's been 6 weeks since my last confession. Owned Fitness, Diet - Mostly documented here Diet is basically on track. I hit my goal of 270 last Thursday, but with the holiday, ended the month at 272. On the plus side, that helped me hit a new PR and match 2 other PRs after a few weeks of stalled lifts. Still deciding on how to balance both goals. For June, I'm changing my lifting from 5x5 each night to a cycle of heavy lifts, volume lifts, and accessories. I've a…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/16 03:59 AM
4

my wife will often tell me that I work with a bunch of women who are bitchy, cunty, etc. Not sure why you think that, they are all very nice to me.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/16 04:43 PM
3

My younger brother became incapacitated probably for life. [...] My older brother and I went back and visited my mom at the hospital. On the way down we decided that we will split whats left on my brother's school loan and pay it off. This is pretty noble, but as mentioned elsewhere, there are plenty of other ways to defer or nullify these loans. You have months to figure it out. At the very least, post to /r/personalfinance for some advice before paying thousands toward something that may be en…
/r/askMRP01/06/16 04:11 PM
2

The children of parents with personality disorders tend to pick up similar traits and behaviors. Some of it is just modeling relationships and learned behavior -- because it's what they grew up with, and think it's "normal" that Daddy always gave in to Mommy's hysterics. I think it's a spectrum, and that depression, stress, and hormones can turn a "nitty" person, even a high-achieving one, into a basket case who alternates between self-pity and lashing out. Which, is basically how a BPD responds…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/16 08:06 PM
3

Then tells me she’s coming to the office to talk. I continue to ignore her. [...] She packed the kids and drove to the office. I told her to remain calm if she wanted to talk and that I will not fight with her and especially in front of the kids. Just wow. This happened to me with my BPD mother, when I was 17. She came to my job and had an emotional meltdown over ... hell, I don't even remember any more. Very public, very dramatic, tears, etc. I suppose this must be part of the BPD emotional bla…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/16 06:57 PM
16

Anyway, the real benefit of all of this was it finally hit home for me how many fish the damn sea there were. [...] I was more OI than I had ever been. [...] Honestly, not giving a fuck feels great. I'm glad that getting to first base with some bar girls gave you the abundance mentality to help you establish frame for her shit tests. It's a good first step. Though I'm not sure that failing to close with a couple hookers would give me the confidence to kick my wife to the curb just yet.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/05/16 01:08 AM
2

I'm doing my best, lifting, gym, owning my shit Yeah, what you're calling OI is probably better described as "modeling". It's what we do when we start our journey (fake it til you make it), by implementing the right steps and not letting her doubts get in your head. It's the first step to building frame. I'm doing my best: parenting, learning, improving Right, you're showing them what it means to be strong, independent, and masculine. And this is key, because they will reflect the traits that yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/16 04:26 PM
1

My kids told me he brought her flowers and a box of chocolates for them What, no Target Gift Card? Fucking amateur.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/16 02:34 PM
3

I was mostly with you through the whole thing, but not this. There is no AM/OI when it comes to your kids. Modeling good behavior and tough love are fine, but you know why your wife (and you) are broken people. I am dealing with an evil, that was passed generation through generation. Exactly. The seeds of addiction and personality disorders are sown when you are young. Your past and present mistakes will be their burdens for a long time. Unless you are completely going to write these kids off, t…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/16 02:30 PM
4

There's 2 reasons why she may shut you down... she's not in the mood or she's not into you. A stupid eye roll when she's tired doesn't mean that you disgust her, it just means she's not up for rolling around. As for sex... a leader leads, he doesn't punish. If she's still responding to your advances in general, then keep initiating. If she gives you a hard no, try again later. The only reason to withdraw attention is because she's constantly shutting you down, and even then, it's gradual and not…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 08:43 PM
3

I added the coconut oil massage about 2 months ago. That stuff is pure gold.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 02:45 PM
2

Never been into anal, but she's been 'requesting' so I guess it's time to man up. My princess has never requested it, and I never went out of my way to make it a thing in 25 years, but from oblique comments and non-verbal responses to foreplay, it's clear that she rather enjoyed attention there. It also suggested that she would appreciate some dominance, and in my weak-sauce days, I would try something, then immediately ask if she was okay. And she'd waffle about it, so I would dip a toe but nev…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/16 05:36 PM
2

I called you out because I was thinking of men who were ready to blow up their marriage, and your post sort of hinted at that. Perhaps a better example was the guy who was running dread on his pregnant wife by threatening divorce so that he could get some strange. You make very good points on OI, especially regarding abundance mentality. Part of a MAP should be building a frame (and a life) that encourages her to participate, but is strong enough to stand on its own if she never does. If you are…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/16 03:15 PM
3

Not being a better oak for my wife when her father passed is one my larger BP regrets.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/16 02:13 PM
1

Women are Children
/r/askMRP26/05/16 03:40 AM
2

That thread is everything that is wrong about TRP.
/r/askMRP26/05/16 12:15 AM
2

Try /r/mgtow
/r/askMRP26/05/16 12:12 AM
3

7 weeks won't get you ripped, and probably won't get you down 30 pounds. But it will get you into a routine that you can follow: running 30 minutes each morning, Starting Strength each evening, and sticking to a good diet. In fact, why wait a month to start? Start the diet now with smaller portions and less eating out. Stop with the sodas and beer, pack your own lunch, and switch to lean meat and veggies instead of carbs.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/16 12:04 AM
2

I posted some more thoughts about these transitions in another thread earlier today.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/16 09:03 PM
2

Going out with “I’m going for a walk” to my wife. She didn’t like it, put me on pressure (silent, nervous), wait for me when I came back (“where have you been” -- “Just out for a walk, I’ve the right to have a walk no ?”, Dude, it's time for WISNIFG from the sidebar. I felt after a “I don’t know what you’re becoming, it is the true you ? a selfish guy ?” I've realized that I need to fix some stuff in my life, starting with myself. You and the kids are very important to me. I think I can be a bet…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/16 08:36 PM
1

Best of luck to you.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/16 08:22 PM
3

I just can't see how to deconvolute expectations from OI. I think it's more a terminology disconnect... "outcome independence" as used here isn't about your overall expectations for marriage, but about executing your MAP and ignoring her doubts or her shit tests. It's not getting bogged down with scorekeeping and spreadsheets, or acting butthurt when she gives you a hard no. It's a tactic, not the strategy or goal. Unless it's about just not being miserable and meeting out justice for when bound…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/16 03:52 PM
3

Sometimes she asks multiple times a day. How often do you sit staring off into space? Are you just parked on the couch, or actually doing something when you pause for reflection? But also, get off your ass. Lift some weights, run, or meditate -- and then you can ruminate on whatever it is that you're afraid to talk about with your LTR.
/r/askMRP25/05/16 02:13 PM
0

With emotions running high, something like that could easily provoke Chad... especially given his behavior so far.
/r/askMRP25/05/16 01:24 AM
4

That shit get em wet. It's the new Skittles.
/r/askMRP24/05/16 10:19 PM
3

She sounds like a full blown narcissist. If it's not about her, then it's irrelevant. The jackass she met is probably the exact same way -- a self-centered blowhard that loves the adrenaline rush but will get tired of her shit once it becomes real. The sooner you get away from her the better. Just take care of your kid, because his mother is gonna be a shit-show no matter how this turns out. Edit - Oh, and don't talk to or fuck around with this guy's wife. That would be begging for trouble.
/r/askMRP24/05/16 08:51 PM
2

No, he's just been dissecting some beta's post for a month. His insights have led him to write to an epic 100,000 word treatise that will unify the four fundamental forces of masculine nature: BP, RP, PUA, and MGTOW.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/16 08:38 PM
8

she is undeserving of a husband like me [...] She needs some space. It's not me, it's her. [...] I'm free to find it elsewhere, she is okay with that right now. [...] But it's up and down...one week it's bliss, the next she hates me again. Wow... I don't wanna be that guy, but this is almost textbook story of a woman bouncing between guilt and dopamine rush. Have you actually verified that she's not been cheating?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/16 05:37 PM
2

The start is to kill your covert contracts. Second step is to get through the anger stage. She may be a harpy or refusing sex, but you've been a drunk captain and she's been covering to the best of her ability. You stay OI and DGAF to create some space to make your own improvements. But you still have to have expectations -- she needs to be a functioning spouse, after all. Part of establishing your frame is setting expectations for everyone in the household. That's the point of transitioning fro…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/16 05:03 PM
3

This turned into complaints about our home, projects that need to be done, and how messy our home is. Don't just look at this as a failed shit test, but as a place where she wants/needs leadership and didn't have the words to express it. There really are things around the house that need work, right? Have you been on top of these? A big part of my MAP has been to take charge of several household cleaning, maintenance, and improvements that have languished badly for years. In addition, I've been …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/16 03:07 PM
5

This is your fucking wife -instead of viewing her as some ho who is ready to take off at the drop of the hat, look in the mirror and realize that you are failing to hold up to your end of the bargain. That's the most dangerous part of AWALT -- it's self-fulfilling. When you view someone as a plate, you will probably treat them that way as well. Selection bias is certainly part of it, but if the tone of your relationship is that you are just waiting for her to be shitty, then why be surprised if …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/16 02:38 PM
4

What happened 8 years ago is meaningless. What happened 8 years ago? I'd like to think I kept frame there, and this is the attitude I'm taking forward Be careful about your anger. This is going to be a long, emotional process for both of you, and scorekeeping / one-upmanship will probably be a big part of it. Focus on your MAP and your kids, and keeping a cool head / STFU when you talk to your wife. Edit: Here's the most fucked part of the past few days - she is so fucking nice to me now. Yeah, …
/r/askMRP24/05/16 12:42 AM
2

I was happy with the Levi 541 "athletic fit" pants, which have extra room in those places plus stretch a bit as well. My quads are decent but not swole.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/16 09:26 PM
3

Don't worry, my wife is on it. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/16 05:24 PM
3

I think for all of the shitty marriages out there ready to explode, there are as many just plodding along due to lack of sex, lack of intimacy, lack of leadership, etc. The divorce rate is so high, and yet, there are many couples who stay together assuming that "this is just how things are." It's easy to get comfortable with your differences, your shortcomings, and fall into a rut -- because changing things is hard. But changing your mind is easy. Reading the sidebar, talking to other men in the…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/16 04:38 PM
2

These are all great suggestions. Changing things up really can get you past a plateau, and keep things from getting boring. I sometimes do "reverse pyramids", which are basically to run my 5x5, then drop down 5 or 10lbs and go AMRAP, and repeat until I'm at 50% of my 5rpm or the bar. It's a great way to get your primary lifts in, while maximizing volume.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/16 03:35 PM
3

I'm sorry you don't see a legitimate argument over the pros and cons of a marriage license as anything worth while. I don't see you making that or any argument, just assertions about what is or isn't "red pill" and ad hominem attacks on specific members of the MRP community. If you doubt that I'm on reddit to help men, then this would also be your shortcoming. My entire purpose on TRP is to help formulate theory and understanding of the way the world works. I searched your recent post history an…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/16 03:20 PM
2

Not a typo... I've lost 20% of my bodyweight in 4 months, and that's while adding a fair bit of lean mass. I clearly can't keep losing at that rate, but I think I can average 8-10lbs / month until I hit my goal.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/16 05:04 AM
2

I was saving up for a June 1st progress report, but I'll throw down... Diet Started my journey Feb 1st, got my home gym set up about 2 weeks later. Feb 1st: 340 pounds. 6'4". Today (May 22nd): 272 pounds. Target (Sep 1st): 220 240 pounds I set monthly goals, and haven't missed one yet. I adjusted my target weight upwards because I've been adding a fair bit of lean mass. I don't care about BF% or getting ripped, but I do want to keep improving my upper body strength and definition (legs have alwa…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/16 04:09 AM
3

As you can see, the consensus is that you don't apply dread to a pregnant or post-partum mom. I'm fully on board with that advice, but I think many folks are ignoring this part of your story: I work at home, she's currently on baby leave, so home as well. I've worked from home for many years, including through the birth of my children. I know exactly what you are going through, and my best advice is get out of the house. You are both cooped up with a kid and an infant, and you have a terrible ca…
/r/askMRP22/05/16 11:17 PM
1

I think the reason your post strikes a chord is that lots of guys here go through the stages of anger and searching, and seriously consider going outside the marriage. Hell, it's one part of building dread. So I'm curious... given what you learned, would you recommend it to someone else in the same position?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/16 07:06 PM
1

I feel like I spent ten years in that mode, and all it got me was a wife who no longer respects me. Fair enough. The way you describe it, it sounds like she goes through the motions because it's what's expected. Time to get married and have a family... check. Now with all your progress, she's just waiting for the other shoe to drop, for you to realize that she's a secret wreck and leave. It's almost self-fulfilling. I hoped that MRP would offer a way out. I still do hope, I guess. But I'm just s…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/16 01:49 AM
1

Did she have any idea you were on a date?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/16 12:40 AM
6

In hindsight my egos objectives were validation seeking and anger management. [...] I confirmed, not to my surprise, that I am a LTR type of guy and spinning plates is unfulfilling to me and a pain in the ass. This is a great FR. It should resonate with lots of MRPs, precisely because it wasn't the humblebrag-type "I held frame, had an awesome day with my wife, and got a blowjob." This is the same type of shit each of us faces when we come back from the anger phase, and it's so easy to distort "…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/16 06:38 PM
2

I've started initiating every night, and it's constant rejection. I've tried kisses and hugs during the day, but I get pushed away on those as well. Is it really every night that you try? I get that you're feeling better about yourself physically and socially, and it seems like you have a decent frame to work from. So I can see why you think she should be coming around by now, but it really is on her to find her desire and come into your frame. It certainly sounds like some deep anxiety, and jus…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/16 04:10 PM
8

What if you ghosted your LTR for a day after arguing, then found out she went back to Chad for a night?
/r/askTRP21/05/16 01:40 AM
3

Here's the link
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/16 07:19 PM
4

it was clear in my mind, we both have different visions of life and we can't merge them together. It sounds like your wife is tired of being your mother now that she has a real child to take care of. I can't say I blame her. imagine what would I do if my loved ones would love me no matter what If someone's disapproval is all that's holding you back from being a burnout, then it really doesn't matter what we say. This is about what you want, and fuck everyone else. You know this, so you're here l…
/r/askTRP19/05/16 03:38 PM
1

I see that TRP has advised you to let her go for now and focus on yourself. The comments here suggest the same priorities -- yourself first, then see if she follows. Here's my take: Once she leaves, its much more likely that she'll never come back. But, if she's only raised the topic of leaving, you have a window to turn things around. The first steps are the same: Kill your covert contracts. Any changes you make must be for yourself first, your son second, and your wife/marriage last. Sell the …
/r/askMRP19/05/16 03:13 PM
2

I see lots of reflection, but still mostly focused on your ex-wife's shit and not your own rocky road of setbacks and recovery. Your advice about BPD and addicts is spot on though. And it's clear that you're working hard toward your MAP -- getting rid of toxic people and focusing on yourself. You're the exception that proves the rule: you can't fix them, you can only fix yourself. Best of luck to you and your boys!
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/16 02:32 PM
2

We say here that: Women want attention, and men want sex. But I think its even fundamental that: Women want to be desired, and men want respect. Seriously, think about what respect means to you... when someone you admire gives you an attaboy, when your opinion alone is what carries an argument, or just the self-respect you feel from doing something really well. As a man, respect is how you measure your place among your peers. A woman wants to be noticed. She wants to be chased. She wants to feel…
/r/askMRP18/05/16 03:29 PM
2

If most of the girls you know can't think for themselves and have no values, then maybe you don't know the right girls and need to expand your circle a bit. There are plenty of people (men and women) willing to trade their time or bodies for attention or affection. They have low self-esteem and are hungry for validation. They will gladly latch on to nearest shiny object, big fish, or alpha male if it advances their place in the FSM or fills an emotional hole for a little while. She may be the HB…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/16 03:12 PM
3

Next time Ms. Starfish appears I am going to pull out and leave for 12-24 hours, and after that I will start overtly stating my expectations. I'm not sure you need to just pull away for that long. When I encountered starfish after starting MRP, I simply said "I'm not feeling it any more" and settled back to sleep. I was a bit cool the next day, but didn't go MIA. The second time, "I'm done. It's clear you're not interested" and same play the next day. When we talked I made it clear "I love sex w…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/16 03:40 AM
2

Too many trolls.
/r/askMRP18/05/16 12:55 AM
1

In my mind shit test are expressions of disrespect. Comfort tests are expressions of insecurity. I prefer to think that they are testing your leadership or boundaries. It may be broadly due to a lack of respect (you never do...), or a case where she doubts one of your decisions (why did you...). It may also just be an emotional response to something else, and you are in the way. Alternately you can classify them by the behavior itself, and not the underlying cause: shit tests are where she pushe…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/16 09:45 PM
2

Having children completely redefines your priorities and relationship. Because she's spending time and energy on the children means that she will have less for you. All those times she picked up your dirty clothes or spent an extra hour making that dinner you like... gone. She only has so many fucks to give, and you're now much lower on the totem pole. Besides, you're a grown ass man, why should she have to be your mother as well? As for dread and children, these play to separate aspects of fema…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/16 06:50 PM
2

She was just venting at you about feeling unable to do anything. That would be a comfort test. [...] "Baby I love you and I am glad to listen to you, I hear that you had a hard day." That's the response to a comfort test. I agree with the going away part. I think it should have been sooner though. Perhaps. It sounds like just a couple minutes of exchange, which shows that he didn't just nope/storm out of there, but gave her a chance to express her emotions. Once it was clear that she wasn't goin…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/16 06:11 PM
3

Very much this! This reminds me of the trope about men bringing home flowers. The point of the gesture shouldn't be as an expression of affection, but as a break from the routine. Keep her off balance. Be her escape.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/16 05:59 PM
1

By the way, she was just venting at you about feeling unable to do anything. No, this doesn't read like a comfort test. She just wanted to bitch. The fact that its TO YOU .... ABOUT YOU... just points out that you haven't led her to a place where she gives a shit about making you unhappy. I'm with bogey on this. I don't think this is a pattern for her any more; she's just having a really bad day. In which case, just defuse the situation, walk away, and let her come to terms with her own unhappin…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/16 05:44 PM
1

She continuously points out that we dont have a connection. [...] I would like to reconnect, but it invariably ends up going sideways. For now, STFU > DEER (Defend, explain, excuse, rationalize). The fact that she's interested in these changes indicates that she's not completely checked out. Keep her a bit off balance... a mix of AA / AM and "I'm focusing on improving myself and being a better father" will go a long way. This is the foundation for establishing frame and the 12 levels of dread. A…
/r/askMRP16/05/16 05:50 PM
1

Volunteering is okay, but what I'm talking about is getting to the park and playing catch / frisbee / basketball / tag and connecting with them. Memorial Day is coming up, maybe plan a day at the beach or something that gets you all out together.
/r/askMRP16/05/16 05:34 PM
0

Nothing you describe seems so unbearable that you couldn't survive it for 40 years... if that's what you want. Lousy, sparse sex? That describes lots of lifetime marriages. Cooking for yourself? Awesome, no compromises -- bacon every day! Silent treatment? Honey, I'm too busy to be bothered by your pouting. I'll be back later. I didn't want to be that guy who continued with a divorce during pregnancy. Or should I have? You need to man up and figure out what the fuck you want to do. This is a def…
/r/askMRP16/05/16 03:40 PM
2

That said, I would consider a couple's retreat a bad idea. It won't be the romantic getaway or a quiet place to resolve your differences that you imagine. To expand on this... what will end up happening is you will talk and negotiate what the relationship should be, and what you both need to do to fix it. Any promises you make during a retreat will simply be so many words. From your posts, it's clear that her hand is already on the door -- she's planning how to leave you cleanly. Now, your FIL b…
/r/askMRP16/05/16 03:13 PM
3

1) The gym is for you, not for her validation. You've made the initial commitment, now keep carrying through. 5) Good riddance on the counselor, but I'd be a bit worried about her reactions. It could just be that she's embarrassed by the dynamic and how that makes her appear professionally, but certainly something that time will bear out. 6) Her flipping is normal here. You're making big changes quickly, and she's recalibrating as she tries to figure out if they are genuine. STFU, work on your f…
/r/askMRP16/05/16 05:35 AM
-1

This gives too much agency to the "Feminine Imperative", in the same way that some have accused men of organized oppression. I rather dislike the oppressed victim card, and I see this piece as playing on the same kind of gender stereotypes and biases. While it's in women's interest to work together, feminism is not a monolithic movement. The latest cohort of SJWs no longer feel beholden to Betty Friedan or Gloria Steinem, and they don't care about the battles won 50 years ago. For the "entitleme…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/16 05:05 AM
3

That is why some people seem so much better than you are. If they are better at one thing, they are probably better at everything. This is a cognitive bias. There are plenty of people who are better at one thing, but it doesn't necessarily correlate to other skills or abilities. It's like the Facebook effect, where you see the highlights of someone's life but not the other 98%. Or maybe you are right, and you're a loser in the lowest %ile across the board.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/16 04:00 AM
2

I think her being dangerous is over. Either its going to work or its not going to work. Emotional blackmail against a borderline pregnant woman? Yeah, that's gonna end well.
/r/askMRP12/05/16 10:19 PM
2

She's not channeling shit at imaginary women. BPD is about validation-seeking and reflecting/distorting emotions to manipulate people. It comes from a place of empty coolness, not anger. She's withdrawn because of your threats, but it's just a matter of time before the pressure (and pregnancy) resurface. But it's not about "less crazy", it's about actions. If you're fucking around, if she can cry abuse, then your armchair diagnosis doesn't mean shit. Maybe a clinical diagnosis will, but good luc…
/r/askMRP12/05/16 10:15 PM
2

The children help with validation. But I've heard the kids say some F'd up shit. So maybe she would just one day give them up. IDK. It's a clusterfuck. I'm the child of a Cluster-B parent, and I can tell you that the children just become pawns in the game. And that's what this will be... a power struggle between your NPD and her BPD: fights, threats, gaslighting, abuse. What a horrible environment to raise a family of future troubled adults. Look, you say that this has been a struggle so far in …
/r/askMRP12/05/16 09:53 PM
7

"why the fuck is it every time I start realizing something about her that she starts telling me I have this issue?" Because it's true. She's not the one with the problem. If you're acting like the character portrayed by your post history in real life, then you clearly are NPD and she's just the victim. What you call bi-polar is just a woman who's whipping around like a "flag pole rag and the wind won't stop". And how many people would know that this thing has a name? Really, come on. What percen…
/r/askMRP12/05/16 07:03 PM
23

Eight years in and you got her pregnant, only to realize she's BPD... so you decided threaten to leave her unless she lets you sleep around? That's pretty fucked up man. Trying to be clear about the terms of this by focusing on painting a very vivid picture of this new reality, forcing her to confront it. Rubbing her nose in it. Spending lots of time validating her and making her feel appreciated, but maintaining firm boundaries that monogamy ends when this child is born. "You're appreciated bab…
/r/askMRP12/05/16 04:22 PM
2

This shit sounds ridiculous. There's more to life than being constantly busy running around like a lunatic. I think there is a bit of "Facebook effect" going on here. Some of the FRs and progress reports tend to be humblebrags about the one day that goes awesome, and less about the times you got to work late, fumbled a simple shit test, or lifted for 2 weeks with no PRs. I'm not saying such posts aren't helpful or inspiring, but they are snapshots that don't tell the full story. That said, this …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/16 01:35 PM
2

Your past failings are still her present. You're only 2 weeks in, and she has no reason to think this isn't just a phase. It will take at least 6-8 weeks before she responds to your apparent progress, and these small moments of resistance and doubt will give way to actual shit tests and dread about your relationship. This is a long road. To reinforce what others are saying: Anger is standard this early in. Just STFU and focus on yourself. If you need groceries or clothes, get them yourself. 5 da…
/r/askMRP11/05/16 02:18 PM
2

My wife still needs validation and support as well, though perhaps other wives are type-A enough that they don't give a shit what their husband thinks. A good leader knows when to provide positive feedback and encouragement. I'm always happy when my team wins, regardless of who does the work.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/16 06:20 PM
2

Hi honey I'm home. I know we have talked about _____ and I am stating to realize how important it is to you. But right now I am thinking its a good idea for me to work on some of my issues to be a better husband and provider. Hug with no woody poking her. I think it would be s good idea to place it on the back burner for a few months. I do want you to know how proud I am of you for your recent accomplishments. The end. Geez, you should bold this. After WISNIFG, this script is something that ever…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/16 08:51 PM
5

Actually, I'm gonna give it a little jackten review... Me: "Congrats on your big day, now will you drain my balls". Then she went off on me for 30 minutes on how little I care, or I listen or something... dunno, I just tuned her out. After a while, I just left for the gym. You're right about the dog thing... she's trying to measure your commitment level. It's a fitness test. This is how women determine whether a man will be a good provider, if he's still in the marriage or checking out. And you'…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/16 01:10 PM
2

Me: I think we need a little bit more than hugs. It was her big day, so you deserved sex? Her: you know I need more time and snugglz. I just finished school, I've been a stressed out student. This is standard RP shit. Treat it as standard LMR -- "yeah, getting to this point has been a lot of work." Offer to rub her feet or back for a bit, then escalate. She asks if I'm leaving right now, I say yup, heading to the gym, see ya. She turns you down for sex, you get butt hurt in the middle of the con…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/16 02:38 AM
3

Instead of encouragement I got shit on because, "this family should be all you need!" WTF. She used to love going to shows being my 'rock star girlfriend'. Married with 2 young kids? She's not your 20-something girlfriend/groupie any more, so stop looking for her validation. I bet there were plenty of things you did while courting that you don't do any more. Me: "no, you're boring me" [...] I've started to notice a decline in her enthusiasm Are you seducing her, or just demanding BJs? I can't im…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/16 01:37 AM
6

Looking good is fine, pictures with co-workers is okay, but what level of dread are you actually on? As usual, I showered before bed, made myself presentable as I always do to initiate, good little bit of cologne, trim, etc. I've never stopped initiating but after dozens of turn downs, I became complacent, I initiate expecting rejection. This. You've made it mechanical. You've settled into a place where you want/expect sex N times a week, so much that it might as well be scheduled. At the same t…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/16 03:47 PM
3

I constantly see guys who post comments to make themselves seem less shitty than they are. It's easy to look in the mirror and see you're a fat fuck, or measure your manhood by the number of times you got laid in the last month. Establishing frame and building dread are practical step by step guides to fixing those things. That shit is just the price of admission to MRP, reading the sidebar, then tallying up the failures you see and are ready to own. The hard stuff are those things you don't see…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/16 03:21 PM
1

I've seen this play out before as well, and basically it never ends well. If they really don't like each other, the best you can hope for is detente, where they are courteous and tolerate each other when together, but avoid those situations and never bond. At the other end, either your daughter will basically cut ties, or you'll separate from your LTR. You can make it clear that the other one is a priority in your life, and bring them into your frame, but you can't force them to like each other.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/16 12:18 AM
2

STPs right that this is a precursor to the Main Event. Her hamster is spinning fast and furious, and she's trying to restore her frame on this relationship. Her email is pretty clear about what she expects from you, and you need to be just as clear on what you expect from her. And it's not just about sex, or an exchange of validation and affections, but presence. Wife and I have fun, but no sex. [...] You have no desire to be around me and when you are it feels forced. See, I think this is the d…
/r/askMRP04/05/16 08:29 PM
2

The birthday thing really is a huge covert contract. You want to do something awesome, plan it yourself! Go golfing then grab dinner at the steak place, or whatever things you like. Invite her along -- or don't. Then add "I picked you up a little something frilly for both of us to enjoy later." Pizza and beer with the kids are fine, but you're basically saying that you're not worth more. Have fun with your family, but demonstrate that you value yourself, even if she doesn't.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 07:53 PM
5

It's funny that they're talking about the "tone police" and "censorship", but then take a hard line on what they'll accept or not. What they see as border erosion, I see as normal discussion and debate. Don't agree with something or someone, then correct them or ignore them. It seems that they want the entire RP philosophy held as canon, when it's clear that lots of things are contradictory or don't apply to everyone the same. Certainly I'm one of the more purple folks here, and probably am more…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 06:09 PM
2

So, adding on... Testing never ends. Women test unconsciously. Testing is the woman’s primary method for determining congruency and for discerning a man’s authenticity; his ability to be genuine. Tingles, shit tests, comfort tests are basic tools a woman has to evaluate the fitness of a (potential) mate and the strength of their bonding. When a woman engages in pre-selection or calls a man "a creep", it's based on her subconscious awareness of his utility or danger to her. She's not just evaluat…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 03:29 AM
3

Reddit loves to say: Rule 1. Be Attractive. Rule 2. Don't Be Unattractive. I think these 3 suggestions are even more important for people in LTRs. Really great stuff!
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 12:12 AM
4

Childbirth is tough, getting older sucks, people change. You didn't expect her to remain the perfect, tight little package she was when you got married, did you? I expect that she probably could suggest a few things you could improve as well.
/r/askMRP04/05/16 12:00 AM
5

I'm at work, so I don't have a lot of time, but I had to say some of this corresponds to a model I've held, where the 4 stages were: Attraction (Testing the Male) Bonding (Seeking Communication) Domestication (Putting him to Work) Comfort Boredom (Female Evolutionary Selfishness). Now, your approach is heavily based on RP terminology and viewpoint, so it tends to paint the female imperative in a negative light. But I think that this behavior has been greatly beneficial to our species, where mati…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/16 08:29 PM
2

I do truly believe she thinks that nothing is wrong with her relationship with him. The emotion (and hence the affair) is all in her head. This is easy to rationalize if they haven't been physical -- especially if it's because he rebuffed her. But if she's looking for outside excitement or to branch-swing after just 2 years, then I suspect it's only a matter of time before she finds someone willing to reciprocate. This wasn't a one-off situation but the start of a pattern.
/r/askMRP03/05/16 05:49 PM
25

She's tired. You're probably just grabbing her boobs but not really making an effort, so she doesn't either. You even have her get on top so she has to do all the work. Then when it's not awesome, you roll over and ignore her. She's not wrong, you did get mad. My advice: grow up. Sometimes people just aren't in the mood.
/r/askTRP03/05/16 05:48 AM
3

You have to plan your own MAP and set your own goals. I don't see the MRP philosophy as living for her or the marriage, but fixing your own broken models and improving yourself as a man. That means coming to terms with the anger, taking your wife off the pedestal, and learning to assert your boundaries and leadership. These are the process. For some men who are deep in the hole, just having a wife that spreads her legs and isn't a complete harpy would be a huge achievement. Others of us just cam…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/16 06:39 PM
2

The way I look at it is that Dread is a strategy for achieving the best outcome. If you have a decent relationship going in, there's no need to crank it up past level 5 or 6 and make your wife an anxious wreck. But if you are fighting a long war against her solid frame (because you've been drunk captain for so long or she's got deeper issues), then you can turn the knob higher as necessary. The tricky part is knowing when to start replacing the anxiety with comfort. There will still be shit test…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/16 07:50 PM
2

I respect the progression you've laid out with Dread. The initial levels serve a dual purpose of creating space to improve yourself, while establishing a baseline anxiety in your wife. As you go up, it's like turning a knob on her mate guarding instincts... from subconscious to explicit. Probably the most effective tool in my MRP journey so far has just been updating my wardrobe (I've generally been a denim short + t-shirt guy), even more so than the lifting and weight loss (which are both going…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/16 07:38 PM
1

That's a much better breakdown, thanks for the link.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/16 04:56 AM
1

And to be clear, there is no "end zone" -- you don't just hit outcome 4 one day, where she goes submissive and you can call it good. Your wife may defer to you on several aspects of your life already (financial decisions, job and lifestyle, diet and exercise) but resist you on others (intimacy, child-rearing, social situations, etc). The goal is to find the balance. You guide your family, taking care of the big picture, while she manages those areas where she is strongest. You set the pace and e…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/16 04:54 AM
5

MRP provides a number of tools for improving yourself and moving your wife into a more productive direction, and that's what Phase 1 and 2 are about. But at some point, you need to reach a level where: You are leading, and she is a happy participant in that. You are leading, and she is only following out of fear, obligation, whatever. You are leading, and she doesn't follow at all. There are many reasons that your wife may stay (or fuck you); some are healthy and some are not. It's up to you to …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/16 03:06 PM
1

So the oak side of things with my situation is a lot less or more severe then it should be BUT...if I do it then she hamsters it as her behavior being fine, and she can slack off. [...] When it comes to work ethic she can't hold a candle to me but she needs to pull her weight. I can actually relate to this. My problem is that my work ethic has been, well, a bit lacking as well. I tend to focus on one or two large issues, and let the small stuff slide. But our marriage has become an example of th…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/16 08:14 PM
1

Mood's a thing for cattle and loveplay
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/16 07:46 PM
3

Not gonna harsh on you as badly as some of the others, but a couple observations: Wife comes home (this is one of two finals for her license test) 10:30pm. She was in an upbeat mood having done well her phase 1 tests. [...] Again she was upbeat having done well during a practical but wondered I wasn’t joining her in the emotion. The advice on this sub is often about not getting sucked into her frame, letting her mood or the daily drama affect you. Almost invariably, it's because she's had a shit…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/16 07:40 PM
1

Some people are shitty people. Some people are stuck in a shitty situation, and look for an out. Others make the best of things and muddle through.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/16 03:03 PM
1

I need to focus more on living my life, and letting the door be open for her, but not ushering her into it. It's awesome to be a leader, and see her participate in things that you know are valuable: exercise, eating right, reading, etc. But to be clear, there will be areas in your life that she's just not interested in. That's part of creating the separation in Dread Level 3 -- it's not just about gaming your wife, it's creating personal space that's yours alone. But that doesn't mean that you c…
/r/askMRP25/04/16 05:03 AM
11

Don't feed the trolls.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/16 12:25 PM
2

I missed the Facebook bit in the wall of text. That's fucked up. If it is true, and this guy is applying some half-ass attempt at RP game on his wife, and he needs to stop. If it's just some troll, well, at least they can yuck it up some more over at TBP.
/r/askMRP24/04/16 12:20 PM
2

she has seen my increase in physical activity; whereas I used to simply run a lot and climb, now I've joined multiple sports teams, run, climb, and bike as well as lift the majority of the week and have a nutrition plan; and as a result she has started going to the gym and running herself and is attempting to follow some diet plan she's paying someone to make for her. Still, she will ask me about when to make a day a "high carb day" and "what can I eat I'm nearing my limit on fat/carbs/protein" …
/r/askMRP24/04/16 04:52 AM
11

I had kept pushing for sex even after her initial half-hearted "no" and her "fighting me off" while smiling... 98% of the time she's very passive and obviously just doing it out of a sense of duty.. MRP likes to talk about a "hard no", but it sounds like she's not comfortable setting that as a hard boundary. My guess is you've probably gotten angry or acted wounded enough times that she figures it's just easier to spread her legs than fight about it. And now, you aren't even respecting her "soft…
/r/askMRP24/04/16 03:53 AM
5

Being lied to. 'Of course I still love you. No honey, I like your body just fine. I'm just tired. If you would just help out around the house more then I'd be happy'. Women mean well when they tell white lies such as these. They tell these lies while the love is still there. Oh man, I finally see what this is. This is what all women do... for each other: comfort and emotional support. "He doesn't know what he's got." "It'll be all better." It's girlfriends over ice cream, mothers to their childr…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/16 02:42 PM
2

This ^
/r/askMRP23/04/16 02:27 PM
1

Neo: What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets pass shit tests? Morpheus: I’m trying to tell you that when you’re ready, you won’t have to.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/16 08:52 PM
2

That's great stuff, definitely an epic FR in all senses of the word. Two questions: Do you have the link for the YaReally James Deen article? Do you think FKATMC helped more than hurt, given your wife's comments about it later?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/16 09:42 PM
1

family sees that they did nothing wrong and refuse to ever apologize for how they act around people. (strong Eastern european, no fucks given, never apolgize attitude even if you are wrong, have no filter and say really shitty things on occasion). There's a difference between "refreshing honesty" and "toxic honesty". They sound like people who don't value you or your choices, and don't care who they hurt. You know this, and that's why you've pulled away. So why are you still seeking their approv…
/r/askMRP19/04/16 02:18 PM
1

Yes, they exist. Mostly in 3rd world countries, but they can easily be passed by plain bad hygiene. In the United States, a study by the Center of Disease Control reported an overall incidence rate of 11.4% among children.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/16 09:24 PM
2

Cross-posting from elsewhere. I have told her recently, like 3 days ago, that she is bound by her Catholic faith to respect me and obey me and to not withhold sex You can't just demand respect from someone, you have to earn it. You have to demonstrate that you bring value to her life, that you are not a schlub that's living life on cruise-control. You need to take ownership of your own faults. Getting in shape, dressing better, and having a more commanding presence are all steps in the right dir…
/r/TheRedPill18/04/16 08:59 PM
3

There are other options than divorce.
/r/askMRP18/04/16 08:37 PM
1

edit - Moved my response to the original thread
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/16 08:20 PM
1

I moved out. I took all my stuff to the new place, cleaning shit up, throwing out old stuff, preparing to sell other stuff. Child custody - had a great afternoon together with my boys, another day coming soon. That's awesome man. I owned contacts with women. I asked out a few, I blocked a few. Especially new thing for me is actively avoiding contact with some women as opposed to me chasing every single one in the past. Even better. Realized that I want nothing from that ex-wife, realized how muc…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/16 03:11 PM
2

Regarding the respect thing, I made it clear during our "event" that of all the things I valued in our relationship, I might tolerate a marriage without some (love, sex, intimacy), but trust and respect were non-negotiable. It's been over a month, and so far that boundary was only approached once. I over-reacted in response, but she folded pretty quickly as well.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/16 03:18 AM
1

With the SS progression (10lbs each week legs, 5lbs on bench), I'm only now starting to level off. Yeah, I'm probably slowing my gainz a bit, but losing weight is more important to me than strength (at least for now). Fortunately, I'm getting good results on both so far.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/16 12:43 AM
1

And yes, combining the Hitachi and PIV is a great way to turn her to jelly in 5 minutes.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/16 12:35 AM
1

Oh, ego was definitely at the top of the list. I had made it my mission early on in our relationship to get her off, to be her only stud. Over the last couple years, I had actually come to terms with the idea that my wife's libido wasn't as high as mine. I am still working on letting this problem go. My other problem was very BP, and I didn't fully realize it until recently: the sex itself was important, but I was also missing the intimacy and connection. I was the girl crying in bed alone while…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/16 08:51 PM
3

Homes, children, and jobs are the reasons / excuses. [...] a mortgage and a career workload are all it takes to give up on boundaries, then they wern't boundaries, That was not my point, these things are baggage. Most men on this forum are fundamentally different than the kids on TRP who think their girlfriend of 6 months is a "long term" relationship. Call it sunk costs, but the stakes are higher for us (divorce rape) -- we can't just delete our wife from social media and next them. This reads …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/16 02:29 AM
2

I played some sports in high school (heh, almost 30 years ago), and despite my size, I was still pretty flexible though rather short of breath. I was familiar with free weights and running, which helped, but so did /r/fitness and related subs. I started a bit slow on the first day, with flexibility, walking, and diet changes. I didn't start lifting for almost 2 weeks (when I got my home gym), by which time I was running 2-3 days a week as well. I've gradually added new lifts to my evenings as I …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/16 10:06 PM
2

What dogma are you talking about? I was actually thinking about this while I ran this morning, so let me give you an example. AWALT vs. MWIASF (My Wife is a Snow Flake) We have plenty of examples here of women who cheat on their husbands or LTRs, and the canonical response is always "AWALT, Next!" And while this is fine for the 20 somethings or newlyweds over at TRP, we're on Difficulty Level = Hard. We have homes, children, jobs, and the problem is entirely different if you've been together for…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/16 07:26 PM
3

I really wish this was something I could post to /r/deadbedrooms or /r/relationships without getting deleted, because I have to assume that a large portion of those folks are in the same boat as me. They have a spouse that they just aren't connecting with (physically, emotionally, or leadership), and neither of them can find the words to close that gap. I was so close to just accepting that this was my life. But I really don't blame my wife. She's always deferred to me and my leadership on many …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/16 03:54 PM
2

I prefer to own the equipment. The $600 one time cost is more than enough for something I'll use for years, and as I mentioned, my wife and youngest son are now clients in my home gym. As for hobbies, yes, that's necessary. I used to play recreation softball and soccer, but those dried up about 2 years ago. My job is long-distance, and I live in a rather small town with few opportunities / friends. For now, getting my household in order is my top priority -- literally going out and working in th…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/16 02:17 PM
1

I would know. And while the validation would be awesome, I still find my marriage vows to be binding. We're both very co-dependent, and as I show above, I'm such a fucking pussy that finding out my wife masturbated basically brought me to tears. (Okay, not that she masturbated, but that it had become a regular substitute for our own intimacy.) I would be crushed if she was also seeking/finding emotional validation elsewhere. And for me, getting some side action would only be about that. I don't …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/16 02:10 PM
2

You know what, I'm still 2.5 months in after 2 years of DB, so I'm fine with keeping count for a bit longer. :) But to be honest, I actually was tired and busy the last couple days, and just never initiated -- even though I think she wanted some extra attention. So when I left for work on Friday, she was getting packing to leave overnight for a family event, and I left her some explicit hints to think about until she gets back. I'm always looking to bring new things into the bedroom. We have a b…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/16 01:53 PM
5

Which part, that she masturbates or that I check? That she masturbates? I never gave 2 thoughts when I'd fire up some porn during the dry spells. But the thing was, I almost never turned her down, and was always looking for new techniques or her feedback -- and here she was getting outside stimulation? My covert contracts (and my ego) were violated. I was clear though, that I don't mind "helping out" if it's just a matter of getting off or wanting a bit more after we're done. We still bring it i…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/16 01:30 PM
1

That's brutal man. She fucked up, and now she's back. The question is... does someone deserve one more chance, just one more, after seeing their life fall apart from their own bad choices? I know that AWALT and Next are bedrock principles in the RP subs, but you can't tell me that the many of the men here haven't fucked up hard at one point and asked for another chance to fix their marriage. People are flawed, but does one fuck up define the person? Once a cheater, always a cheater? Probably, bu…
/r/askMRP12/04/16 01:49 PM
-1

From your description, this wasn't a spur of the moment failure because you were inattentive or unavailable, but a deliberate and long-term relationship. She wasn't feeling low and lonely, but really was looking to upgrade her life with someone she connected with. And it failed. This doesn't sound like someone an adrenaline junkie, prone to sneaking around and one night stands, but someone looking for emotional validation and branch swinging. Or maybe she is, and this Chad was so alpha that she …
/r/askMRP10/04/16 09:30 PM
2

No contact. No Hi. No wave. She does not exist for you anymore. Nah, that'll come off butt hurt. Just give her a nod when she passes, like you'd do any other casual friend.
/r/askTRP10/04/16 12:51 AM
1

Go to Lowes or UHaul, pick up a bunch of moving boxes for $1 each. Buy some rubbermaid tubs and laundry baskets, as well as trash bags. Oh, and some filing boxes for your important documents.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/16 02:37 PM
2

But even after all that, she makes no movement towards folding her own clothes that are taking up an entire couch Move the clothes on to her chair or side of the bed. cleaning up her work clutter that is taking up half the dining room "I'm making a big dinner tomorrow/this weekend, we're gonna need the entire table." And if she doesn't take care of it, find a box and put her stuff into it. My household has been a cluttered mess for almost a decade because I let my wife slide on all this shit. Go…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 09:22 PM
2

First, this should be on /r/askmrp if you want real advice. Second, Give her a back rub? Fine, she had a shitty night and needed comfort. Bring her back breakfast before you head to work? "Sorry hun, running late." Come home for lunch? "Sorry babe, work is crazy today" Texts? Ignore. More texts? Ignore. Instead, you blame her for making you tired (at least she got what she wanted) and then buy right into her narcissistic drama. And then she just keeps escalating it, up to threatening divorce? I …
/r/askTRP06/04/16 05:22 PM
4

The one I'd add is: Stop looking for approval. Set your own goals, and find validation in achieving them.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/16 07:36 PM
1

Crunches and/or planks. I alternate SS 5x5 3 days with cardio 3 days, and do these after my cardio. Check out this video.
/r/askTRP04/04/16 12:35 AM
1

My wife always asks me shit when I'm elbow-deep in something else, usually without context, leaving me to pick up her train of thought. It means she's still hamstering about it, even if it's not important to me at the moment. That's not a shit test, but some might consider it disrespectful of their time to interrupt another task. The other part, yeah, that's a shit test.
/r/askMRP02/04/16 04:33 PM
3

Spiritual doesn't necessarily mean religious. It means finding the meaning in what you want, in what you're doing, in what's around you. Clearly you've found reward in lifting, but there's still plenty of other places to round out your spiritual self: Enjoy time with your wife and kids (even as you work to become their captain). Take up a hobby and make something -- with your hands or your time. Read more books to expand your horizons, or join a club to make more friends. Life doesn't have to be…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/16 08:21 PM
3

I asked if there was another man. I was told no. I said "Fine, then I don't want to hear about the opinions of imaginary persons" Nice. Mine hasn't played this card yet, but I've filed this away for when she does.
/r/askMRP31/03/16 06:31 PM
2

Anyway, her anger was waning by that point and shifting, as it always does, into her feeling depressed, helpless, useless and like a failure. She wished she'd never been born, stressed about how shitty she's going to look today after crying so much, how tired she was going to be since the fight went past her bedtime, etc, etc. Others are asking about depression, but this sounds like classic narcissist shit. She had her melt down, and then segues into tears and self-pity. Not only do you have to …
/r/askMRP30/03/16 07:34 PM
3

"clean more" and "don't talk about sex so much" Absolutely. After picking up the kids' dirty dishes and washing your underwear, who wants to lay under your sweaty body while you pound away for 20 minutes? God you probably won't even think about her needs, so why are you even asking? That's the reason for building the tingles... don't let her hamster or her bad day get in the way of reconnecting. Don't let it be about something else she has to do today, but carving out the time focus on each othe…
/r/askMRP29/03/16 06:15 PM
3

Mine said the same thing when I brought home the weight set. Now I'm about 6 weeks into lifting and (a) she puts her head on my chest after sex instead of just spooning, (b) she traces my arms and shoulders with her hands, and (c) she started coming down to lift with me. So, yeah, I'm still doing the lifting and cardio for myself, and I'm making good (newbie) progress... but damn if the wifely attention isn't appreciated either.
/r/askMRP29/03/16 02:23 PM
12

I'm happily married. Sure, there are ups and downs (I came here because of a DB), but after 22 years and 3 kids, I am luckier than most. I don't buy all of the MRP philosophy (and less of the TRP stuff) -- but I think a space where men can share stories and strategies is a good thing. There are a number of excellent voices here from many points on the spectrum, and some have held up a mirror that helped me find some direction at a low point. I've picked at the list of prescriptions and created a…
/r/askMRP27/03/16 02:17 AM
2

There's no emotional nuance to text. There's no way to maintain frame when she starts whining or going off on irrelevant tangents apart from just ignoring her. It also provides her a record of how much of a dick you can be. So, just don't entertain it. Establish the logistics, employ the 2/3rds rule if necessary, and handle her shit or comfort tests in person. At the very least, it will give you a chance to collect your thoughts before you meet, and you won't get drawn into her drama.
/r/askMRP26/03/16 01:10 AM
1

You can't leave because <reasons>, except: You need to fix yourself, away from her. You can fix the house on weekends, and she can be there or not. You can still see the kids in the evening, take them to the park, etc. You can separate financially by getting separate bank accounts, and writing her a check each week. (I know, it's a process, but dude, you gotta rip the band-aid.) As for attraction.... fine, keep your hopes up, she may come back for some divorce sex later between Chads. She may ev…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/16 05:47 PM
1

The deadline is a month of my improvement per every year of my shitty beta behavior since I gave up alcohol. While the sidebar likes to use the 1 month / year benchmark before pulling the cord, you've already gone scorched earth a number of times. You've divorced and each fucked around, what shining light are you waiting for? Are you expecting her to finally come around, fix herself, and validate your RP awesomeness? In the meantime, you're just dragging each other through months of self-imposed…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/16 04:38 PM
11

Stoicism is not new to me. She had an emotional break down when i talked to her about her household duties slacking. Just like a recent emotional break down when I told her sex sucked with her. She still believes that there are certain things that define a woman: clean house, good sex life, happy husband, but the really fucked part is that she does NONE of these things. None. I doubt she knows where the kitchen sink is. Not sure how "stoic" this is. You make it sound like a tough love speech, it…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/16 04:09 PM
1

I'm relatively new here, and your story cuts close to me, but the worst part is the number of times you've done something stupid to seek validation, then to turn around and punish her (or yourself), only to spiral deeper into a mess. I've read a couple of your posts, and you keep mentioning the 5 months... what's the relevance of that deadline? Is it an arbitrary deadline, or some milestone to you (anniversary, birthday)? You talk about not caring what she does, who she sees, and yet all of your…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/16 02:56 PM
6

It's a comfort test. She's certainly not the one looking for divorce, but she sees you taking more time away from her, and it's firing up the hamster -- maybe he doesn't love/need me, maybe he's getting ready to move on, maybe he already has? "Do you want a divorce?" "No babe, I love what we got. Why, do you want one?" or "I spend time with my friends so that I can come back and enjoy my time with you even more."
/r/askMRP23/03/16 11:45 PM
7

Her: The thought of you making out with other girls bothers me, so I wouldn't do it to you. Me: Are you kidding, the thought of you making out with other girls turns me on!
/r/askTRP19/03/16 03:36 PM
2

She doesn't want you to fuck and dump one of her co-workers, and then have to deal with the fallout after you leave. Don't shit where you eat.
/r/askTRP17/03/16 10:51 PM
3

Then she said, "let's be friends, assume I'm on the market but only you know it." "Sure. Let's be friends, and assume that I'm also on the market."
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/16 04:12 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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