Approaching 30

HeyItsHarvey · 2016-12-14T10:59:18+00:00

Am i gonna end up as a successful 30s man with a mediocre CC ridden late 20s girl. Revolting thought.

There are plenty out there. I would suggest signing up for a website like OkCupid, you can filter out the single moms, who smoke, do drugs (whatever other preferences you have) and after a few dates you can get a feel for a person.

There is no such thing as unicorns. I met mine online, she's late 20s, wanted children, has a career, has a degree. Not a lot of previous partners but a lot of previous LTRs. Perfect, right? Wrong. There is always going to be something. Those LTRs set her standard of what a relationship looks like. I had to break through that expectation early on.

Other non-related advice (I am 34): take care of yourself. It's too easy to end up like the other guys who are getting fat, letting go, etc. I suggest a home gym. Or at least a nice set of heavy dumbbells and a pull up bar. It's going to save you a ton of time when kids come and the investment pays for itself.

At this stage in the game so many other men are just... turning into slobs. I'm not saying it's easy to wakeup and workout every morning, and you're going to be more prone to injury, but that it will be easier for you to stand out to other women at this age. Quit smoking if you smoke, quit drinking excessively if you drink excessively. Above all else, just take care of yourself.

TheFamilyAlpha · 2016-12-14T12:39:00+00:00

You know, as rampant as the female imperative is not all women are whores. I work with a wicked nice & shy chick who could probably be a freak in the sheets but she'd rather work, go to school, and paint.

They aren't all beef curtain hags out there lol

Go to places where high quality people go & become someone worth speaking to, then meeting again, then reproducing with.

Also, read posts on running a family without marriage.

Aaren_Augustine · 2016-12-14T08:45:15+00:00

36 years old. Got 3 children. Having kids is part of a full human experience.

Pick a girl that's going to add and NOT bar you from a full human experience. For me, it's not about CC anymore, because you can't change anyone's past. Because you can't go at it thinking you'll find a Snow Flake or a Unicorn.

So what are your standards? Less then 10 cocks? Not a party girl? Didn't go to College? Didn't have one night stands? Or a "Cancun stand"? Didn't date a Chad? Didn't Branch Swing or cheat in her past relationships? Has never had a STD?

Lets say you find a girl that's roughly not like that. Think that might give you a flare up of Oneitis? My point is you need to be rational in these decisions, not fear potential outcomes.

redearththeory · 2016-12-14T12:02:08+00:00

I would like to hear from 26-39 year old guys here who believe in starting a family and having a great family life. What advice can you give us late 20s folks

38 yo dad of three here.

1) The real commitment is not marriage, its kids. Unless you have strong religious beliefs, you can walk away from marriage with little consequence. That being said, there is very little reason to get married, but kids are amazing.

2) Whether or not you get married, or stay married, or if the sky falls, you are going to see the woman you have kids with for 18 years, because seeing your kids will be worth almost any price. Plate the hot crazy ones if you want to, but only marry or have kids with a woman who is submissive, sweet, loves her father, is happy being a first officer and is attracted to you. They will lie about this to secure commitment, screen for it. Old fashioned in a red pill wives way is even better. The choice of a woman to have kids with will be more permanent and have a greater impact on your life and happiness than almost any other choice you make. Be conservative.

3) You have the right to leave any relationship, at any time, simply because you want to. As long as you don't have kids yet, you should exercise this right if you ever feel the need to, and simply go find another woman. As a man you don't need to feel rushed. 40 yo is a great time to have kids.

4) Learn all of this MRP stuff, implement it in your relationship, decide what you want, go find it. Don't be like most beta idiots and let creeping commitment and a sunk cost fallacy decide what you'll settle for.

innominating · 2016-12-14T11:37:00+00:00

Keep developing yourself and spin plates until you are 35-40.

Griever114 · 2016-12-14T13:30:34+00:00

The best advice that you should probably tattoo on your forehead so you see it every morning you wake up and look in the mirror is, as mentioned below,:

Pick a girl that's going to add and NOT bar you from a full human experience.

Seriously, this CANNOT be stressed enough. If they start taking away from your life/hobbies/etc, stop thinking with your dick and realize that this is the just the beginning of a shit-storm.

Remain resolute as there is a significant level of pyscho's as you hack your way through the briar patch.

Personally, I would skip Okcupid. Unless you want some seriously damaged goods. Almost all of the dating i did there was pure validation seeking and SERIOUS daddy issues. Avoid free sites like the plague.

Frankly, i prefer going to Meetups of your favorite hobbies (specifically physical ones) or sites behind a paywall (avoid Eharmony as its a shithole). This ENSURES that you meeting someone with similar tastes and know that they at least TRY to take care of their body.

Your priority at ALL TIMES should be YOU and NOT finding a spouse.

Pick a girl that's going to add and NOT bar you from a full human experience.

If you go into the mindset of "finding someone" they you will be more likely to "forgive" bullshit and shitty behavior since they are filling a need.

SteelToeShitKicker · 2016-12-14T16:31:09+00:00

The best way to choose is to know what your choices are. Get out there and start talking and dating women.

LewisCross · 2016-12-14T18:50:48+00:00

Don't get legally married. If you refuse to follow that advice (as I know you will), get the best prenup you can possibly get.

Get hot and stay hot. Never ever ever let up on your career or your social life. If you have social issues or awkwardness, get it handled.

stonepimpletilists · 2016-12-14T20:33:15+00:00

Separate your wishes, from your observations

FireTempered · 2016-12-17T05:29:51+00:00

What you want:

…is a woman, regardless of her past that desires you completely.
…is for that woman to completely enter your frame, because it is a good place for her to be.
…is to always work hard to improve yourself in every way.
…is to always be willing to walk away if you have to.

If any of the above makes no sense to you. Lift more, read sidebar more.

Thomaskingo · 2016-12-14T19:02:44+00:00

mediocre CC ridden late 20s girl.

You should read Rollo Tomassi's "The Rational Male: Preventative Medicine". It'll tell you something about women's different life stages. Other than that, all women ride the CC, because they fucking can. Just find a woman that's mid twenties and who hasn't spent every weekend experimenting with new cock. Oh, and I would also note, that you should make sure to get her best before you even begin to contemplate long term commitment. If she doesn't do anal or oral now, then she likely won't do it five years down the road, even though the Chad's before you got it all that they wanted.

Edit: a 30 year old at wall woman can make a fine wife and mother. If you fear the ghosts of cocks past, then you have some red pill stoicism to internalize. You should of course screen away women, who cheated or had comparatively many different sex partners. The reason is, that they thereby show an instinctive preference for genetic diversification over security. Bad for any future husband. Chose women with predominantly LTRs. They have baggage, but their life choices show a preference for security. Good for any future husband. The reason you shouldn't wife up a 30 year old at wall woman is because your SMV haven't even peaked yet, while hers is about go into free fall. Find a woman in the mid twenties, that knows how to suck cock, but are matured enough to value family life, and shoot a baby into her fast.

dandar4600 · 2016-12-14T14:34:17+00:00

I find that having a child in your early 30s (late 20s for mom) is much easier than in your late 30s (early 30s for mom.) It's about sleep, energy levels, etc. So if you want to start a family, do it earlier rather than later.

You can still get an early 20s college chick and knock her up. That way you won't get a mediocre CC ridden late 20s girl. The longer you wait though, the greater the disconnect will be between you and your LTR partner.

enfier · 2016-12-17T02:57:45+00:00

You seem to be trying to use your RP awareness to fulfill your BP dream. Why not instead come up with a new RP dream?

Let's take an objective look at the situation.

Your SMV is on the rise and probably won't start to decline until 40.
The fast track to sex and no bullshit is to exhibit exactly zero beta qualities
You can invest money to buy your freedom from working
What you earn before you get married can be covered by a prenup
Your happiness isn't dependent on how much money you spend

In your shoes, I'd sell off all my expensive shit, move to a cheap apartment that's near some good pickup locations and fill it with Craigslist furniture. I'd live as if I were broke and invest the rest. I'd exhibit exactly no beta behaviors and sign up for zero responsibility outside of work. If you are saving 70% then you'll be financially independent by 40. It will never cross a woman's mind that you may be earning more than you are spending.

Serial monogamy, spinning plates, whatever floats your boat until 35. Date in the fun range, avoid the beta hunters. Well mostly the beta hunters are going to weed themselves out since you look broke. If you happen to meet a girl that's actually LTR material, you can do an LTR for a couple of years and wait for the honeymoon period to end before deciding to get married (or maybe just a committment to have kids?).

At some time around 40 you'll have amassed enough wealth to no longer need to work and if you enter marriage at this point, you can cover it all with a prenup. It will be easy to go have your pick from all the women that are just hitting their epiphany stage. You can work a low paying, enjoyable job or just retire if you like. Later, if you get divorced you won't owe child support, you'll just take care of your kid half the time. Earning all your money before you get married really kills a lot of the downside of getting married.

Ideally you'd start this path around 20 or so, but 30 certainly isn't too late.

alphabeta49 · 2016-12-14T19:11:27+00:00

Oh, and bro... don't start a family until you have EVERY PART OF YOURSELF ON LOCK DOWN. Once you have kids, you're stuck. Abundance mentality, outcome independence, and stoicism become things you have to fight tooth and nail for. When the mom knows you'll carry the weight of the world for your kids, she's got the power.

mrpthrowa · 2016-12-14T14:49:17+00:00

DO NOT MARRY.

Modern marriage is the biggest turn off for women - EVER.

You may find it appealing to LTR, in which case, DO NOT MARRY.

ReddJive · 2016-12-15T14:27:00+00:00

You need to learn that only you can make your decisions. Right wrong or indifferent they were yours and yours alone.

Own them and make shit happen any way.

A bad plan violently executed is still the right one.

blimblamp · 2016-12-20T19:34:56+00:00

This is a bit old but it's something I've thought about recently as I'm chatting with women on Tinder. The girls who are still in college are too young for me at the same age as you. They're bouncing from cock to cock and don't want to settle down. They haven't felt the burden of what it's like to have a real job and have to pay rent. It's better to meet women who have had their teeth kicked in a bit by reality and who are done riding the CC. The 21 year old at a party school expects free dinners, constant adoration and gifts, and generally thinks she's above you. You will never be a priority for her.

My plan is the date women around 25 years old for the next 15 years. They have a couple years of real world experience under their belt and have developed a lot more character. As long as I stay working on myself and stay fit I don't think it's going to be an issue. College girls are probably fine for fucking if that's all you want.

RuleZeroDAD · 2016-12-14T16:46:32+00:00

I'm generally a very optimistic individual but also realistic, and realize that with age my pool of potential high quality mates is going down.

Where did you hear this nonsense? SMV actually works the opposite. Men are like wine, women are like milk.

anythinginc · 2016-12-14T17:48:01+00:00

What advice can you give us late 20s folks when it comes to dating aspect of life at this stage.

Everything is going to be okay. Don't worry about this shit. Take care of yourself, self-actualize, build a quality life and it will be easy to find a quality woman who wants to live in your frame with you, you'll find her or she'll find you.

realize that with age my pool of potential high quality mates is going down.

Not at all true OP, and the biggest misconception. I thought the same thing after my divorce in my mid 30s without children after 13 years together.

The real truth...the low quality mates are just getting easier to identify. Hell, some of them put neon signs up to advertise it because they think it will work in their favor, and it might, just not with you. The most important thing is for YOU to have the value needed to attract and arouse the women you desire. As you gain value the potential dating pool goes UP, not down. Look at the data...more women are not getting married, more women are holding off on children...they are waiting on YOU, waiting for you to come along so they can build their life around you and your children. How long do you want to wait OP? If you want a family go find that woman, there are a fuck ton of them out there. If you want to serial date and fuck around or waste a year here and there with women that you know in your heart you would not marry, then fine, do that, but don't cry about where all the good girls went, that's some scarcity mentality bullshit.

Am i gonna end up as a successful 30s man with a mediocre CC ridden late 20s girl?

Only if that is the life you choose. The most import thing is your value, your passion, your desires, and her genuine desire, attraction, and arousal towards you. If you are open to it, you will know it when you have it and a good LTR will happen and progress and feel natural and organic.

alphabeta49 · 2016-12-14T19:06:59+00:00

with age my pool of potential high quality mates is going down

Bullshit. I'm 29, got started making a family 5 years ago. Way too early.

This would be my do-over dream. In late teens, get started in a good career where I liked the type of people in that career and can stand the work, something that doesn't have me sitting behind a screen 8 hours a day. Build my career and fortune. Save a ton. Travel a bit. Sculpt my body. Bang hotties. Explore spirituality. At 35, begin to start looking for LTR quality girls in their early to mid 20s. By 40, settle down with some fertile, submissive, low-count, mid-20s chick. Yes, that's a 15 year gap.

The more I read and watch, the harder I see men having to work to lock down women their own age. The easiest way to get a girl to follow your lead? Be older than her.

druganswer · 2016-12-14T16:26:47+00:00

you're not in a relationship? spin plates. don't get married. preferably don't have kids...

i have not been married or had kids, but this is pretty standard TRP advice. there are people here who may direct you towards marriage, but it really is not the place that you should be looking for validation of this idealized life you are hoping to eventually get.

Title	Approaching 30
Author	kabhi23
Upvotes	8
Comments	61
Date	December 14, 2016 8:09 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5i9g1c/approaching_30/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/approaching-30.206774 https://theredarchive.com/post/206774

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