GirlWritesWhat: Look out! It's a Nice Guy! DESTROY HIM!!

rogersmith25 · 2012-12-04T21:10:11+00:00

This is an excellent analysis.

I've actually seen men accused of being terrible people because of the "friend zone" in communities like /r/sexpositive. I think because (if I'm not mistaken) the "friend zone" was introduced in an episode of the sitcom Friends, they equate men's dating habits with a ridiculous 1-dimensional stereotype like the "Joey" character.

It's a fundamental misunderstanding. The quote that keeps being used about the friend zone is "Girls are not machines you put kindness coins into until sex falls out." The irony of this quote is so thick you could cut it with a knife - it criticizes men for viewing women as one-dimensional objects by accusing men of being as shallow their perceived intentions.

The "friend zone" as it manifests itself outside of TV-land is not about sex, but about relationships. A man is "friend zoned" when his romantic feelings are not reciprocated - he is attracted to her, but not she to him. He loves, but his love is not returned.

People who are looking for trivial emotion-free sex do not get "stuck in the friend zone" because they simply move on after they are rebuffed. It is those who desire deep meaningful connections - love - who stay long after hope of sexual contact is gone.

Personally, I blame a generation of women who have learned everything they know about men by watching rom-coms, sit-coms, teen-coms, raunch-coms... Comedy programming targeting young women by casting them as young brilliant heroes, and men as bumbling sex-crazed oafs.

unexpecteditem · 2012-12-04T09:49:12+00:00

In this analysis of the phenomenon of feminist women berating nice guys, GirlWritesWhat explains that they are reluctant to admit to themselves that they really aren't interested in the kind of men they say they are. Instead, they prefer to see the nice guy as two-faced and merely pretending to be a friend when in fact all he wants is sex.

These women, she claims, expect men to completely submit to the role of mere friend, even if this entails being eager-to-please beyond the call of duty.

EvilPundit · 2012-12-04T21:16:06+00:00

So the takeaway message from feminists is what?

"Women hate nice guys. Don't ever be nice to a woman, or try to be her friend. If you're sexually attracted to her, date her and threat her like shit."

I wonder if they've thought this through?

MRMRising · 2012-12-04T11:33:13+00:00

[permanently deleted]

CertusAT · 2012-12-04T11:27:50+00:00

It always baffles my mind when this argument hits the table:

"He is not REALLY nice because he is just nice to get your affection/sex!"

So, you mean to tell me that being nice to you, slowly winning your heart (like it is portrait in almost every romantic novel and chick flick EVER!) is creepy?

That means nice is only nice if you do something without ever expecting/hoping for some kind of pay off?

Sometimes i really think you have to sit down with these people and work through almost every word in the dictionary to understand what they are saying, it's almost like they created a new language.

Kozbot · 2012-12-04T21:30:49+00:00

pretty much SPOT FUCKING ON

actanonverba8 · 2012-12-04T23:49:18+00:00

This is one of her best videos. Wow. The hypocrisy and double standards are extreme.

Ted8367 · 2012-12-04T23:04:43+00:00

I liked GWW's description of the feminist rationalization process. I'm sure that something like that goes on.

But I wonder if there is something else to be said for the women's discomfort in being the target of unwanted attentions. Compare it with flattery.

A flatterer will shower attentions on you, but it probably is not going to be in your best interest. How would you handle it?

unexpecteditem · 2012-12-07T20:13:16+00:00

Lot of good comments here.

I'd like to relate my own experience; recently as I've learned more about the nice guy phenomena I've taken steps to deliberately shift to a more alpha position.

I'm a crafts and diy type, always have been, really great at lots of things. I'd say I get a friendzone request from a woman about... oh once a week to once every other week.

Now, that I'm aware of the nice guy phenomena, I have three rules:

I don't work for free
I don't work on credit
(Smirk) ... And I have no need for more money.

jolly_mcfats · 2012-12-04T16:17:14+00:00

I ran across this comic right after watching that, and it really seems to express the dream. A female friend of mine posted it to facebook, and I asked if anyone else read the male gender into the person speaking and the female gender into the person being talked to. Oddly enough, everyone who commented agreed with me.

JakalDX · 2012-12-04T19:12:31+00:00

It just goes to show that you can't create sexual attraction. If you aren't attracted to someone immediately you are not going to change it.

Title	GirlWritesWhat: Look out! It's a Nice Guy! DESTROY HIM!!
Author	unexpecteditem
Upvotes	58
Comments	28
Date	December 4, 2012 9:42 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1497is/girlwriteswhat_look_out_its_a_nice_guy_destroy_him/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/girlwriteswhat-look-out-its-a-nice-guy-destroy-him.1007611 https://theredarchive.com/post/1007611

Comments