Women acting mean? Blame the men

Legolas-the-elf · 2011-10-27T06:33:26+00:00

Oh the hypocrisy. For years feminists wanted equality by forcing laws to favour them, now they are complaining that men are getting special treatment for admission to colleges. It's all about women getting ahead at the expense of men.

Also it's hilariously pathetic that men are again blamed for not being good enough so women have to compete with other women for the "small pool good men". Must be so tiring to compete because women have to marry up no matter what! Feminism spent years fighting against gender stereotypes, here they are, putting both men and women into gender stereotypes.

How the author became a professor boggles the mind.

yunolisten · 2011-10-27T15:35:13+00:00

As colleges increasingly reject more qualified women in order to maintain "gender balance", girls are forced to push harder than ever before to compete for a diminishing number of places in a first-year class. In the competitive college admissions game, the scarcity is real — and it drives not only perfectionism, but competition with other women. Individual women aren't just being victimized by these preferential admissions policies, but their relationships with their female peers.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. You mean like jobs? When feminists pushed for affirmative action. Where qualified men used to be turned down so that they could hire women for quotas? You mean that now that it's working against you, you don't like it? HAHAHAHAHAH. Life's a bitch sometimes.

ShinShinGogetsuko · 2011-10-27T14:39:30+00:00

Another joke article. There is no "good man" shortage. There's plenty of mature, responsible, single men out there, it's just that they aren't rockstars or CEO's.

I'm not saying that someone should settle, but a lot of women need to pull their heads out of their asses and realize that there are good men standing around waiting for good women.

GeorgeOlduvai · 2011-10-27T06:53:09+00:00

For all those who have no wish to provide advertising dollars to Jezebel, I present to you...the full text. Boy, some of this sounds familiar.

GENDERAL INTEREST BY HUGO SCHWYZER OCT 26, 2011 1:15 PM 25,593 180 Share

It’s Not Your Fault You’re A Mean Girl

Why can't they be happy for me? That's the question I got from a model named Kaycee*, who has been successful for several years, first as a "straight-size" and now as a plus-size model. She recently got a huge break, landing a major cover shot. But not everyone is equally excited about Kaycee's success. As she told me when we spoke, she's heard from other models that it was "just dumb luck" that she got the job; two even made the unlikely claim (on Facebook, no less) that they'd turned down the gig before Kaycee landed it. In a highly competitive business like modeling, professional jealousy is a given. "Talent" is always replaceable, the number of paying jobs is finite, and the window of opportunity to "make it" is short. But Kaycee's lament that her (now former) friends seem embittered by her success is not unique to the beauty industry. What's really at work here is an old problem that seems to be getting exponentially worse for women: the scarcity model.

Two weeks ago, I wrote about the ways in which college admissions policies that favor men drive the growing problem of perfectionism among young women. As colleges increasingly reject more qualified women in order to maintain "gender balance", girls are forced to push harder than ever before to compete for a diminishing number of places in a first-year class. In the competitive college admissions game, the scarcity is real — and it drives not only perfectionism, but competition with other women. Individual women aren't just being victimized by these preferential admissions policies, but their relationships with their female peers.

Just the title of Kate Bolick's now-viral Atlantic article reinforces a different aspect of the scarcity model: "All the Single Ladies." (Emphasis mine.) You don't have to read one word more to understand the implication for women: There are too many of you. There are not enough good men. To be fair, Bolick ends up celebrating new possibilities for singleness and relationship; she's not just reinforcing Lori Gottlieb's lamentable call for women to marry "good enough." But like so many long Atlantic articles, more people end up discussing it than reading the whole thing. The headline is as influential as what follows. And that headline is all about the paucity of desirable men.

Whether overtly (Gottlieb et al) or inadvertently (Bolick) , the media discourse about the worsening "good man drought" drives two key aspects of the scarcity model: the necessity of compromise with men and of competition with women. The fewer genuinely good men there are, the greater the bargaining power they have in relationship — and the more concessions women (at least those who are eager for marriage) are told they must make. Since so many successful women want to draw from the ever-shrinking pool of genuinely attractive and functional dudes, rivalry (or so we're reminded) must be inevitable.

Endless concessions are a recipe for disappointment; perfectionism a guarantor of exhaustion. Both are consequences of the scarcity model. But perhaps the most painful repercussion is the alienation that comes from competition. For young women in particular — including a great many of my students who have nothing to do with the modeling business — the pressure to compete with other women seems to be worsening. Blame the economy; blame the growing dude deficit on college campuses; blame women for their own success — the side-effect is always that for too many, the real scarcity is of close, uncompetitive female friendship of the sort that can rejoice unequivocally in another's triumph.

At one point in our conversation last week, Kaycee sighed and said, "Maybe this is just how women are with each other." Given the week she'd had, her cynicism was understandable. But this is something we hear over and over again from young (and not so young) women: the assumption that a propensity for jealousy, judgment, and "drama" is part of being female. In Kaycee's mind, the other models reacted to her cover as coldly not because they were models, but because they were young women. Cattiness comes with the ovaries.

(Of course, men can be bitter about other men's good fortune. It was Gore Vidal who famously remarked that "whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies." Then again, Vidal is also famously gay — and gay men are both expected and permitted to have "womanly" emotions. Straight guys are expected to be rivals in sport, but loyal "bros" off the field.)

But it's too easy to attribute to nature what's pervasively reinforced by the culture. Good men, good college admission slots, and good jobs may all be genuinely scarce. But that scarcity is manufactured. A society that coddles young men by allowing them to remain emotionally obtuse adolescents for a quarter century (and that admits them to college with lower grades than their sisters') makes mature, responsible men scarce. A beauty culture that sets up the fashion model as the zenith of desirability drives a surplus of young women into the industry. And a media that takes every opportunity to remind women that they're running out of time and about to miss their chance at happiness encourages both perfectionism and hyper-competitiveness.

The scarcity model reinforces two central fears in women's lives. It cautions them against wanting "too much" just as it warns them that there "isn't enough" to go around. Not surprisingly, it's men who benefit from the diminished expectations and anxiety that so often follow. The solution isn't an overly optimistic abundance model. The solution begins in seeing the way women's jealousies are linked to socially constructed fears, fears that encourage diminished expectations, increased anxiety, and suspicion of other women. And the solution also begins with pointing out that the intended beneficiaries are men.

At the end of our conversation, Kaycee sighed. "It's so good to have this cover," she said. "But I never realized success could cost so much."

Too many women know what she meant.

*Name changed.

Hugo Schwyzer is a professor of gender studies and history at Pasadena City College and a nationally-known speaker on sex, relationships, and masculinity. He blogs at his eponymous site and co-authored the autobiography of Carré Otis, Beauty, Disrupted.

Image via Icons Jewelry/Shutterstock.

millertime73 · 2011-10-27T15:27:08+00:00

Hugo Schwyzer is talking about men being adolescents, yet he's been married 4 times and fucks his community college students.

rantgrrl · 2011-10-27T20:14:24+00:00

Oh hugo. Does it bother you that your pool of available dewy co-eds might shrink? And don't get me started on increased competition from their age-appropriate male peers!

Have you fucked a few yet behind your wife's back? After all, all men(mostly just hugo) run after(hugo runs after) barely legal(hugo's favy!) young women and can't get it up(hugo can't get it up) for their same-age(hugo hates women past their sell-by date) wives.

All men do the awful things that Hugo does, according to Hugo. That means Hugo doesn't have to take personal responsibility; he can deflect it, instead, onto his horrible, horrible maleness. Which he shares with those icky penis people.

DarthOvious · 2011-10-27T12:22:58+00:00

A society that coddles young men by allowing them to remain emotionally obtuse adolescents for a quarter century (and that admits them to college with lower grades than their sisters') makes mature, responsible men scarce.

Since when was this woman commander and chief of what men should do? You have to admit that this is a classic, take away mens responsibility to look after families but putting women into the work place and then complain that they no longer have any responsibilities.

Duh!!! Well that was the point. You wanted in the workplace so you could be responsible for YOURSELF!!!!, not have a man take care of you. Anyway, why does it matter? A woman without a man, is like a fish without a bike, remember???? Obviously this bitch doesn't remember this part. She has also forgotting about the part that marriage is supossed to be slavery of women.

zyk0s · 2011-10-27T12:21:53+00:00

Wait, Hugo says women are the real victims of men falling behind in college? So, for him, it's all cool-and-the-gang if men drop to 15% or 10% of college enrollees, because, well they deserve it since they have a penis. Wow, a big fuck you to Hugo.

And only a few private universities are attempting to bring more men in,(a very small number at that) as almost all public colleges in the US still maintain an affirmative action towards females EVEN THOUGH THEY MAKE UP 60% OF THE COLLEGE STUDENTS. Don't forget the tens of millions in female ony grants. Oh, did Hugo forget to mention that part?

What does any of this have to do with women working harder to prove themselves? Nothing! Hugo's article borders on that of hate speech towards men.

2011-10-27T14:27:24+00:00

"the media discourse about the worsening "good man drought" drives two key aspects of the scarcity model: the necessity of compromise with men and of competition with women. The fewer genuinely good men there are, the greater the bargaining power they have in relationship — and the more concessions women (at least those who are eager for marriage) are told they must make. Since so many successful women want to draw from the ever-shrinking pool of genuinely attractive and functional dudes, rivalry (or so we're reminded) must be inevitable."

The sense of entitlement is staggering. What makes anyone think they 'deserve' another person, without earning that relationship, is beyond me.

But what is really hilarious is the things she's bitching about, her type of words and the things she's putting out in the world, are the reason for her issues, and she doesn't see it.

It leaves these feminists in a difficult position, and while I find it morbidly funny, I pity them. The only men who remain attractive to them are the ones who typically categorically reject all their philosophies, which then leads the women in those situations hurt and confused.

They find themselves attracted to these men, and maybe reject them, (or the men do the same to them, kicking them to the curb eventually ) then end up hurt and alone, or they develop mental issues to cover up their attractions as they try and force themselves to want feminist men, which doesn't usually end up well either.

It's really, really hard to fight biology. It's also hard to fight what we've been indocrinated with, but the forces of our evolutionary pressures are just as powerful, if not often much more so.

But it works both ways, totally two way street.

And if you're not attracting the type of man you want, you need to work on your attractiveness, obviously.

Causing someone pain, trying to elevate yourself above them, and taking away their legal rights, along with adding cultural stigmas and sexism usually doesn't get one 'warmed up' so to speak.

Want to find a good man? Make yourself a good women. First step? Be less sexist.

phukka · 2011-10-27T17:53:36+00:00

As colleges increasingly reject more qualified women in order to maintain "gender balance", girls are forced to push harder than ever before to compete for a diminishing number of places in a first-year class.

I see the irony is not lost on the author. Oh wait.

2011-10-27T10:28:55+00:00

let me just get this out of the way forever: fuck that whole blog network, but FUCKFUCK Jezebel

ignatiusloyola · 2011-10-27T10:59:15+00:00

As colleges increasingly reject more qualified women in order to maintain "gender balance", girls are forced to push harder than ever before to compete for a diminishing number of places in a first-year class.

Wow, that reverse discrimination that they lauded so much is finally biting them in the ass?

That is absolutely rich.

kragshot · 2011-10-27T14:07:02+00:00

Why are we linking to Hugo the man-hater?

Or should I be precise; Hugo the cuckolding, philandering, man-hater.

This is the last man who should be giving any other man advice, except over in the Seduction community. The world is gonna be shocked when it comes out that Hugo Schwyzer has been a PUA "in drag" all along and that his whole feminist crusade has been nothing more than a thinly-veiled attempt to keep picking up women on the side.

I wonder how many baby-mommas does he have strung along out there, all married to cuckolded husbands?

And by the way...this is a very direct attack against his character. It is nothing less than he deserves because he goes out of his way to attack the character of all men every time he turns on his computer or picks up a pen. He externalizes his self-hate by writing the kind of rubbish that defames every male in the Western world. And "alleged feminists" applaud and praise him with every misandric word.

As for the article; it is nothing more than another attempt to allow women as a whole to find cheap and pointless excuses for deficits in their own character. The model in question has the unfortunate fate to be associated with a lot of bitchy and jealous women. There is the fact of the article. Trying to attribute that kind of behavior to environmental issues is nonsense. Either you have enough class to not hate on your "friend" for their success or you do not.

He could have written a very decent article about women defying the social expectations of "female bitchiness" and the stereotyping that is associated with it, but instead he chose to give them an excuse to not have to take a look inside of themselves and work with the issue from the inside out.

This is why that man disgusts me to no end.

Octagonecologyst · 2011-10-27T12:28:51+00:00

Stop linking to these gawker blogs, you're handing them money.

sinsyder · 2011-10-27T20:01:45+00:00

Seems like the women that are complaining that there are no good men around are the bitches that are intolerable to begin with. Why would a man force himself to live with that?

2011-10-27T22:22:36+00:00

I never had a problem finding a good man.

Title	Women acting mean? Blame the men
Author	meninist
Upvotes	43
Comments	40
Date	October 27, 2011 5:51 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/lqofb/women_acting_mean_blame_the_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/women-acting-mean-blame-the-men.1032530 https://theredarchive.com/post/1032530

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