r/MR, we need to talk.

girlwriteswhat · 2011-08-24T21:20:24+00:00

When you look at some of the responses to, say, Catherine Becker:

"Wow. He must have done something to deserve that."

"That'll teach him."

"Domestic violence? Well, yeah, he was probably beating her for years, and she finally snapped."

"She must be mentally ill to have done something like that. Society should have helped her more, but instead we let her slip through the cracks."

Certainly there's plenty of victim-blaming here--he probably deserved it. But at the same time, there's a real effort to excuse women when they do these kinds of things, because society can't seem to look at a woman and see her as a violent, predatory or amoral piece of shit. It's not just that society is eager to see men as bad--it's that society sees women as good, so that a bad woman is either an anomaly--the exception that proves the rule--or a victim of her situation.

This is how society views wrongdoing and violence by women. It wasn't her that did it, it was her circumstances, or her disadvantage, or her lack of help, or her powerlessness that did it. And we need to draw attention to the fact that women are not inherently good or moral any more than men are inherently bad or immoral.

I mean, we all know women who are horrible people. You can't go through life without meeting one or two. But our view of Women as a group is very different, and can overwrite our own experiences with horrible women. That needs to change.

So while I don't want every other post here to be "women behaving badly" posts, I do see a valid reason for them to exist.

Shattershift · 2011-08-25T06:24:46+00:00

Regrettably, I also find the quality of r/MR's submissions to be lacking.

The sorts of articles detailing crimes by women would be desirable as references for a statement, but they are not the best material for their own posts.

Actually, as an exception to that, articles detailing a discrepancy in sentencing as opposed to a male counterpart are fine. These highlight a particular issue. Having reference to a biased viewpoint pertaining to the crime is helpful. Simply stating a woman has committed at certain crime is not.

A quote downplaying a female's molestation charge as "only an affair", alongside reference to the molestation itself is desirable. Simply stating the fact that a woman molested a child is not.

spagma · 2011-08-24T20:43:58+00:00

I agree, exposing a hypocrisy or double standard is a mens rights issue, simply pointing out something bad that someone did that happened to be a woman is not.

fxexular · 2011-08-26T11:07:48+00:00

This absurd belief that society at large views women as infallible creatures who can do no wrong is an out and out illusion. Every day the newspapers feature stories of women criminals, abusers, paedophiles. Everyone knows women are just as capable of wrong-doing as men. Everyone.

When people click on this subreddit, a subreddit ostensibly about rights for men, and see post after post of whinging and whining about women being bad, they're going to see it as the ineffectual grumbling of bitter losers.

Seeing as how you all love the "let's reverse the genders" game, imagine if the feminisms reddit plastered "men are bastards" articles all over the place. You would be rightly livid, and accusations of misandry would ring out to the high heavens. And why shouldn't they? For a movement supposedly about men, you spend far too much time complaining about women.

Midtronic · 2011-08-24T20:17:39+00:00

Exposing a larger pattern of hypocrisy through the dissemination of these stories is one of the reasons I stay on this subreddit.

Yes, occasionally they are sensationalistic. That does not make them any less germane to the goal of equality.

Guy51234 · 2011-08-24T19:35:24+00:00

So you don't want men who are activists against the double standard that our society has in the laws and manner in which it treats men and women to point out that there is a double standard?

Maybe you should go on Jezebel and tell them what they should or should not find offensive. Or perhaps find issues you think are relevant and start your own threads.

omaolligain · 2011-08-25T02:59:39+00:00

I could not agree more. This is the #1 post on MR right now. It is completely unrelated to the topic of MR. It is not even about rights or liberties of any kind. It is just circlejerk garbage. And, the only thing it does is perpetuate the stereotype that women are infantile. It is contrary to this reddits purpose, of promoting equality between men and WOMEN. These posts need to go elsewhere.

brunt2 · 2011-08-24T20:04:06+00:00

I disagree. they are useful. the bad image is in your mind

2011-08-25T09:21:07+00:00

There already is wbb, which is dead. It would be good if the two topics were separate, but it doesn't seem possible.

2011-08-24T20:25:27+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ThePigman · 2011-08-25T00:28:25+00:00

As long as society sees women as morally superior it is part of our job to point out otherwise.

el_chief · 2011-08-25T05:00:27+00:00

nah, i'm gonna start posting more of them here. it's not cluttered.

Firenine · 2011-08-24T19:25:29+00:00

I have been thinking the same thing recently, and yes it kind of makes me feel like this is the 2X subreddit for men. Nonetheless I enjoy the comments and series of conversation that tend to follow.

EDIT: Haters gonna hate, but I actually enjoy a lot of the articles and news this subreddit brings up. But sometimes it is too overboard, such that I enjoy 2X more because I expect it there. Your downvotes do nothing but show your intolerance to criticism.

Alanna · 2011-08-25T11:28:18+00:00

Getting the message out that bad behaviour isn't gendered is a huge component of the men's movement, that's the purpose that the "look what she did" serves.

Feminist_Invasion · 2011-08-24T19:40:18+00:00

It is hilarious when you see the men's rights forum getting more and more lady bashing articles you think "I should facilitate this" not "oh no this movement is getting off track! this is bad!"

Title	r/MR, we need to talk.
Author	deathsythe
Upvotes	21
Comments	49
Date	August 24, 2011 6:10 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/jt3qd/rmr_we_need_to_talk/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/rmr-we-need-to-talk.1035485 https://theredarchive.com/post/1035485

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