Need some tips on how to diffuse my anger/resentment toward females.

aetheralloy · 2010-10-09T22:59:01+00:00

I don't mean for this to sound trite, because it is what I do... but..

Exercise.

You know that whole part in Star Wars saying not to use anger? It is bullshit - use that anger to keep your body in physical shape. It just poisons you if you do nothing with it anyway and anger like you are talking about (the long term resentment) doesn't go away on its own. It festers and eats at you if you don't handle it somehow. Don't let it control you and don't become a psycho... but use it since it is there. to help yourself.

In this day and age when people often tend towards the apathetic and sedentary, a true source of energy is actually precious. Use it - work out until near exhaustion. When you start to feel tired, process some more of that anger - use it to keep pushing yourself. Exercising itself of course has mental positivity benefits too.

The worst that can happen is in a few months you'll be just as angry as before but in excellent shape and overall feeling better physically.

Maschalismos · 2010-10-09T22:36:03+00:00

or end up like Machalismos or CorpseFlower, and treat the women around me like ghosts, or enemies (Sorry guys, I love ya, but damn, you seem to lead some sorry-assed lives).

You sir,may consider yourself OFF my christmas card list.

MaYAL_terEgo · 2010-10-09T22:34:11+00:00

Well, break it down to us.

How did this start?

How do you express this anger to women?

thetrollking · 2010-10-10T17:42:37+00:00

Man, do not get married. DON"T DO IT! Marriage is retirement for women. She may be the nicest best NAWALT in the world, but power corrupts and absolute power currupts absolutely. By marrying her you become a slave to her. You can have meaningful relationships with women without being married.

As far as the anger goes? It depends if it's healthy or not. There is nothing wrong with being angry over your rights being taken away or injustices that you witness.

As far as anger towards women as a group, maybe you should work out or take up something in the arts as a outlet.

hydes · 2010-10-09T22:38:30+00:00

disregard females

acquire currency

kanuk876 · 2010-10-10T00:40:36+00:00

You cannot unlearn what you know and see. There is no going back to the comfort of ignorance, and I do not recommend denial.

There are two aspects to your question moving forward: (1) What can you do about the iniquity you see, and (2) can you accept certain "realities" for what they are and, if so, how?

Regarding (1), in the very least you should feel free to voice your concerns and have them heard without dismissal or shaming language. I'll get back to this later.

More importantly, you cannot change other people especially if they don't want to change. Speaking from personal experience, as a highly motivated seeker of self-change, it's very, very difficult and time consuming. And frankly, I don't see much motivation for women to want to change. It will take women starving on the street corner before our current generation reconsiders its pervasively-held misandry.

Regarding (2), you already know but I'll say it again, she has your balls in a legal vice.

You're physically stronger, you might say, so why do you feel such burning rage? Because if you use your natural strength in your relationship with your wife, other men will haul you off to jail. But if she uses her natural strengths to attack and hurt you or your children, those same other men will "empower" her and prevent you from stopping her. And if you do interfere with her, those other men will haul you off to jail.

It does not matter the woman; this legal power is ever-present. This social/legal situation is not something one can agree in a contract they won't use; you cannot sign away your legal rights.

In other societies, where it's acceptable for husbands to beat their wives, a wife is physically at the mercy of her husband. Likewise, in our society, you are at the mercy of your fiancee and there is nothing either of you can do about it. EG: She cannot sign away her legal right to have you hauled off to jail on a trumped-up DV charge.

Therefore, consider long and hard if your fiancee is worthy of your trust before you stick your head in the noose. It's far, far better you break up now if you're not absolutely sure.

To be trusting is not a virtue; to be worthy of trust is a virtue (ie: trustworthy). I cannot stress this enough.

Here's a good shit-test: have heart-to-heart conversations with your wife-to-be and see how seriously she takes your concerns. Anything short of empathy, compassion and understanding is not only a red flag, but a portent of things to come.

Tying this back in with (1); you might consider mediation. For example, a therapist vetted for male-positive attitudes, non-feminist, and above all else: respectful. Talk about your concerns with both the therapist and your fiancee present. It's harder for your fiancee to shame or dismiss you with a trained professional mediator present. And your mediator can also help your fiancee become more aware, consciously, of her built-in and subconscious misandry.

Good luck.

fishwish · 2010-10-10T02:27:07+00:00

It's real easy. Treat people as individuals.

Don't blame all women for the actions of some women. Not every woman carries the same ideas and attitudes that have caused significant harm. And some women may never have had their ideas challenged. Perhaps some of them might change their minds on some of the ideas if they were presented with a reasonable case to the contrary.

It's kind of this way with a number of vocal feminist. They blame all men for the actions of some men. Now do you really want to be like them?

2010-10-10T03:04:32+00:00

Three things I can think of 1: Put the anger to work in creating a less anti male society.

Step 1: Get a hobby.

Step 2: Whenever you start thinking dark jedi thoughts instead think/do your hobby.

Step 3: Become good at your hobby. This will happen naturally.

Don't get married. If she leaves you(there is roughly a 1/3 chance she will leave you and a 1/6 chance you will leave her) then these feelings will get even worse.

Gareth321 · 2010-10-10T02:23:07+00:00

My suggestion is find a woman who doesn't fit your "woman" category. She shouldn't be any of the things you envision the typical woman being. They're out there, I promise you. You likely know a few of them already. Now cling to her in your mind whenever you start feeling rage for women as a whole. Use her to remind yourself that, while many of the women you know are condescending and manipulative, this one woman is not. You'll eventually start meeting more kind, gentle women - or you may realise there were more in your life than you realised.

Two notes: I find American women generally more pushy and picky. It may help to make friends from other nationalities. Also, I think there are inherent differences (both good and bad) in both sexes. Try to focus on the positive traits that women display, rather than the negative. They have evolved to compliment us, and vice versa. Let your strengths compliment their weaknesses. Be strong when they're being indecisive. Let them be nurturing when you don't know how.

BinaryShadow · 2010-10-10T05:58:52+00:00

Two suggestions:

One: Convert some women to the Men's Rights cause. A significant subset of women are not fuckwits (I lack statistical data to say if the number of female fuckwits is greater or lesser than the percentage of male fuckwits - while the majority of people are fuckwits, there are SOME of each gender who are not). Most people have grown up being spoon-fed feminism from day one, and it's never occurred to most of them that it's an ideology capable of producing Evil.

Start small - discuss things like female firefighters (different standards) etc - and then go on to the deeper implications. Smart women will have an "OMG, I never realized this!" moment, and furthermore they'll be able to discuss feminism intelligently (it's not an utterly bankrupt cause - some versions of F and MR are aimed at the same goal).

Seeing that the Female Race can also love justice will assuage some of your building anger, as well as open your eyes to how awesome women can be. They're all soft and caring and shit. It's nice. This'll give you hope that things can change for the better, which will defuse the time bomb.

Two: Make some Lesbian friends. The non-man-hating lesbians are awesome. You know the gay guy/straight girl thing? Lesbians have it with straight guys; they get platonic crushes on them, free of jealousy and drama. It's a fun sort of relationship, and they're generally pretty open to MR - after all, they've dealt with women's bullshit too.

everynne · 2010-10-11T10:20:02+00:00

Just bear in mind that everyone is a unique individual and they don't necessarily fit into generalizations or stereotypes. You said it yourself, you still had those feelings even before meeting MR. So obviously something drew you to your fiancee in the first place. Keep the 'knowledge' I guess in your mind but don't necessarily act or judge the women in your life on it until you see EVIDENCE that they are harming you in some way.

Ask yourself if the women in your life do things to hurt you or act in ways you disapprove of. Them try to open discussion with them. Who knows, maybe they don't realize if certain things/behaviors bother you. Every relationship needs communication and discussion and we are always adjusting our boundaries as we grow as people. Partners especially see all the good and all the bad in each other and are there to push each other to grow as individuals. No one is perfect.

Just some food for thought. Good luck hun.

runbunnyrun · 2010-10-10T16:02:09+00:00

Before I read the fiancee part I was going to offer to take you out for dinner and drinks to show you some members of my gender are pretty cool, but I guess that's no longer a viable solution...

Godspiral · 2010-10-11T04:01:34+00:00

Sounds like marrying your fiance would more likely than not be a problem. 70% of marriages end in divorce. means 70% of people that think it will work out during engagement period turn out to be wrong. Of course she is more likely to act sweet and compromising at this stage. There is no way to predict her attitude/personality 5 years (or months) after marriage. Your doubts and concerns at this stage probably are insurmountable, but being convinced your fiance is the one and trustworthy should be a prerequisite to marriage?

PolythenePam · 2010-10-09T22:46:04+00:00

Woman here, I know you said you only wanted advice from men, but I can't help to say how sorry I am that you've had so many negative relations with women. I know what your talking about, and it galls me to see and hear women disrespect men for whatever unjustified reason they have in their minds. I hope you get some sound advice here, and that if it doesn't work out with your fiancee, you'll run into a woman who appreciates you and respects you.

esulcer · 2010-10-10T03:06:59+00:00

If you think you may be angry now,wait until the divorce when she takes %70 of everything and you become her wage slave for many years or a lifetime while watching her boink her new bad boy in the house you are paying for.

DO NOT MARRY It is an invalid contract,a fraud.

Maschalismos · 2010-10-10T12:13:25+00:00

I think the problem might be that you're looking at individual women as being representative of their gender...and it's never good to project an entire group onto one individual. Just keep in mind that we're all individuals first. If your sister calls and tells you that she's been sexually harassed, give her the benefit of the doubt, don't immediately assume your sister is some evil liar trying to destroy some guys life. As to your fiancee, talk to her. Explain what you're thinking and why you've been acting strangely. If you suppress this shit, it's going to eventually force itself out...and that could be a disaster.

Also, it might be a good idea to step back from all the MRA stuff for a bit. It constantly exposes you to the worst parts of the male/female dynamic...and that can warp your mind a bit, like cops developing a bit of misanthropy because they're always around the worst humanity has to offer.

stemgang · 2010-10-10T03:15:28+00:00

You know that marriage is a slavery contract for a man in the Anglo-sphere. Don't do it!

Love your girlfriend; don't make her your master.

deeptimeswimmer · 2010-10-10T03:19:53+00:00

If you care about your fiancee at all, leave her now. Don't make her suffer through a life-time of your presence, please.

As for treating women like ghosts...that sounds like the best possible scenario in this case, honestly.

Esparno · 2010-10-10T00:33:54+00:00

stop hating people in general, realize that everyone is on a similar path towards the same end and that more than likely you have more in common with them than not

surprisingly i do work in retail, at a gas station in fact, so yes i see assholes daily, its all how you handle them and how you let them effect you

stop taking things personally

/rambling

aetheralloy · 2010-10-10T02:22:36+00:00

Stop reading /r/mensrights for a few weeks.

wolfsktaag · 2010-10-09T22:49:17+00:00

unless you have some sort of serious religious views, i wouldnt marry

the best way to deal with women you see doing these things is just to think of them as the children they are. when you understand that they cant really be expected to behave any better, its easier to accept. and in case i didnt mention it, dont marry

2010-10-10T16:10:51+00:00

I feel like your attitude is the same as a super-feminist who hates all men and rages at what she perceives as men's privilege.

If you truly hate and resent an entire gender, including your own family members, maybe therapy is the answer.

I would recommend not getting married. Bringing resentment and contempt into any relationship is not healthy and won't end well. Not to sound all dr. phil, but it sounds like you need to work on yourself first.

I hope you find something that makes you happy and allows you to appreciate the women in your life for who they are, not for what you think will happen (moving your stuff into the garage, divorcing you and taking all of your money, etc).

XFDRaven · 2010-10-11T05:29:45+00:00

Anger is nothing less than the knowledge you possess about the injustices enacted by feminism under lies of equality.

It's up to you whether you want to sacrifice your life to the wolfe in sheep's clothing.

deeptimeswimmer · 2010-10-10T05:33:16+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Need some tips on how to diffuse my anger/resentment toward females.
Author	deeptimeswimmer
Upvotes	9
Comments	91
Date	October 9, 2010 10:29 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/dp4cf/need_some_tips_on_how_to_diffuse_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/need-some-tips-on-how-to-diffuse-my.1046973 https://theredarchive.com/post/1046973

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