During my life, I’ve been told and shown that I’m not good enough unless I am sexy. That I’m a prude. And I’m also somehow a sl*t. That my body is only as good as how sexually appealing it is. That if a guy wants to have sex with me then that gives me worth and value.

Sexy (as well as sex itself) has become pornified. It has become the substance of the addiction of pornsick men. Everything that has been classified as sexy comes down to one thing - how much a man wants to have sex with you.

But the way men view sex does not benefit women. Thus, their definition of sexiness is irrelevent.

So I want to redefine what it means to be sexy.

When I remove this supposed value of my [male-decided] sex appeal, and any desire for a man to want me, I’m left with me. A human being with hopes and dreams, talents, skills, a heart, a body and a soul. That is beautiful, that is sexy.

I actually believe it is not possible to be sexy when trying to be something other than yourself, or disliking yourself, which can appear in various ways, and internalized misogyny makes that really easy to do.

To be sexy is to love and be all of yourself.