Gaslight-proof way to definitively show yourself you do more than your LV/NV domestic partner: have both of you write down everything you do around the house for a week or month.

Many women struggle to leave LV/NV partners who they know contribute little or nothing to the upkeep of a household.

However, because society at large is okay with this from men, we are gaslit by these partners and we often gaslight ourselves that they’re not useless.

Ask to do an experiment. Say for the next month you want to keep an “Appreciation List” going. Write down everything you do and ask them to do the same, so you can both see how much the other does.

A NV partner will immediately refuse and say you’re trying to start or a fight or put on a competition. A LV partner will be nervous about it but might play along. A HV partner will enthusiastically participate, because they have nothing to hide and are not worried that you do more than them.

See how quickly your daily column fills up compared to yours. A LV/NV partner will be on the defense the first few days, but they won’t be able to keep it up for a month.