My mental health has been consistently deteriorating

Diligent-Ad-5979 · 2022-02-18T22:25:33+00:00

Im so sorry. Women that take advantage of a good man irk my soul. Karma always wins in the end 🖤

Only time will make the hurt go away. So cry when you need to, scream when you need to, punch the shit out of the pillows when you need to... get the knots out your chest however you see fit. The best revenge is no revenge. Remain unbothered, unphased. The best way to react to a narcissist is not letting them get you to their level, they hate that. They want u to feel bad. They want u hurt. They want u mad. So all communication keep it short and to the point. Ive dealt with one for too long as well. Its hard. And for some strange reason after all they do to us and us knowing all the bs they do to us, we still ask ourselves what WE did wrong, what WE should have did or said differently. And the answer is NOTHING. Thats the deterioration theyve done to our mental state and our self esteem fucking with us. Dont let it win!

What helped my mind was being on here interacting, being on Twitter, playing games like town of salem because its live and keeps you interacting. Stay strong, stay positive 🖤🖤

YOU'VE GOT THIS!

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2022-02-18T23:55:33+00:00

"If so, what did you do to overcome it? How did you think through it? What was the key?"

Daily workout.
Daily Bible reading.
Daily meditation.
Daily focus on my job.

Rough-Area4765 · 2022-02-18T22:59:30+00:00

What that above poster said plus add journaling to your days. Go buy very thick notebook. Date each day and write out your angers, your emotions, the injustice of it all and your end of day thoughts. Not what you would’ve done differently as you can’t change the past, but more focused on your emotions for that day only.

Workout if you can. Lifting heavy weights helps with anxiety and depression. Go fishing as it’s a zen sport that teaches you patience.

Stay off the alcohol. Join a divorce support group on meetup.

Partner with another man that is going through the same challenges and vent off your anger.

Good luck. We’ve all been there and some of us got destroyed in the process but we are still here and alive!

azwildcat74 · 2022-02-19T01:19:30+00:00

You know what will make her hurt the most? Her doing ALLLLL of that shit to you and you deciding to be happy (and BEING happy) anyways. Even if you have to fake it for a while DO IT! Be happy. Find things you can pursue that bring you happiness and pump that shit out every chance you get. Your kids will want to be around you more and you will make her bitch ass head spin because she is taking pleasure in hurting someone, that's a hollow and shitty existence.

Basic_Advance7627 · 2022-02-18T23:07:54+00:00

Mine takes every opportunity to destroy my reputation and relationship with my kids. Why? She’s a liar and cheater who blew up our family to satisfy herself. I ignore all this. Trust me, everyone and I mean everyone knows exactly who the bad actor is. She has to make herself look righteous but she’s not nor will she ever be. I may have lost it all, but in the end she will. It’s actually pretty pathetic and sad.

InWeGoNow · 2022-02-19T04:01:43+00:00

I spent a year on here seeing everyone say to exercise. I finally started up again and it's helped a lot! Also getting out for hikes and reading. Not perfect still, but getting better. I'm thinking yoga and more sleep has gotta be a good next step.

CantCopeAnymore24 · 2022-02-19T08:38:10+00:00

Sorry to read this. As you yourself hinted, you're working with someone with a cluster B personality type. She's a brick tied to your leg. You can never expect to be treated like a person. There's no law of reciprocity here. If you do anything nice for her, you aren't getting anything back. I know. I'm in the same situation. The one thing that you may want is to treat each other with respect for your kids' sake.

Get rid of that idea. She only values you for what she can get from you, and being divorced, in her eyes, you have little/no value anymore. Especially if she flips and sees you as an adversary, then all bets are off for how much she could ruin your life if only for her enjoyment.

Here are the best things you can do for your mental health. 1) Protect yourself, your assets, and your custody as much as you can at this point. If you need to, document and have recordings. These things will be valuable if the police and courts get involved. At the same time, try not to be paranoid. Protect yourself but don't worry and ruminate. 2) Distance yourself from her. She's a black hole. Make exchanges with her as businesslike as possible. Only communicate with her about things related to your kids. Always remember that if she comes to you, it wont be to check in to see how things are going. She wants something from you and it will never be in your best interest. Do not be friends with her and absolutely do not hook up with her. You need to distance yourself. 3) Focus on your children. They should be your primary objective. Love them, be present for them, and engage with them. They won't be around forever, and neither will you.

dudefromyork · 2022-02-19T12:21:41+00:00

You know how good a dad you are has very little to do with how much money you have...or spend on them. You can knock it out of the park on very little...and I’m sure you are doing, when you’re on duty.

Personally, I struggle more when I’m off duty. Left to my own thoughts/devices...I was doing a lot of mountain biking and working out (which helped enormously) but then got a pretty nasty injury that won’t clear up. And when I just sit is where the problems start. So keeping busy is key.

And it will get better. And you will learn to cope with it better m. And your kids will know you’re a great dad even if you’re not buying them stuff all the time.

Who knows, you might even meet a lady friend at some point...,

JonathanApple · 2022-02-19T18:28:30+00:00

I get the wanting rest and peace. Still searching for it here. Just do all you can for you so you can be there for the kids. I'm living day to day. Sometimes hour to hour. Also therapy.

pegleg_legal · 2022-02-21T05:00:26+00:00

I got better when I stopped giving a fuck about what she thought or said about me. When I stopped arguing with her or even engaging her on any non-critical issues. When I turned off her notifications and shut communication down to email, except for true emergencies when she had the kids. You're going to be a victim as long as you let yourself be one.

2022-02-19T17:13:34+00:00

stay strong my brother, observe the negative feelings from detached perspective and see if it helps, where are you feeling this dread in your body? observe it impartially

Title	My mental health has been consistently deteriorating
Author	sharksfreakmeout
Upvotes	13
Comments	22
Date	February 18, 2022 10:10 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/svtwto/my_mental_health_has_been_consistently/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/my-mental-health-has-been-consistently.1102571 https://theredarchive.com/post/1102571

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