I 22F was spoilt and sheltered my entire life. I don't know how to face hardships and am very naive/trusting/childlike.

deathhammer93 · 2022-03-05T11:27:45+00:00

unfortunately the only way to learn these things is through experience.

however, the fact that you are cognizant of this at such a young age is awesome. Go out into the world and be your own person

nothankyoug99 · 2022-03-05T11:31:49+00:00

Wow. I’m 22F and this is literally my story. I always assumed people viewed the world the same way I did. Now, as an adult, I really struggle in navigating my way around the world. I still feel like a child and I’m very very very sheltered. I guess it has its pros, but god the cons weigh down heavily on me.

Niels_1987 · 2022-03-05T14:03:02+00:00

Everything you say and do can and will be used against you. If you keep this in mind you will be all right most of the time in your professional and love life. And regarding being naive, a therapist of mine once said, trust comes by foot and leaves by horse, in other words learn to trust slowly and once your trust is broken remove it immediately

zuraken · 2022-03-05T12:08:48+00:00

Watch some documentaries, volunteer at a community center and talk to people there?

kitterkatty · 2022-03-05T18:40:59+00:00

Customer service job?

rosesonthefloor · 2022-03-05T18:22:31+00:00

Volunteer! I highly recommend it as a way to connect with people with different experiences than yours. You’re lucky that you haven’t had to struggle to get to where you are now - so start using some of that relative safety to branch out of your comfort zone.

I once knew a woman who still had her mom make her doctor’s appointments when she was in her 30s… don’t let it get that bad lol! Start taking over some things now - maybe pay your own phone bill, or get your own apartment? Do you work? Try and live off the money you make, not just your parents’ money, and see how you do. Maybe get a pet that you’re solely responsible for?

The point is not to punish you, and you’re not “failing” by dipping into the other money, or relying on your parents for something, but the goal is for you to try new things and learn new skills. Learn how to cook or bake or craft. Coordinate your own travel. Try and figure out a problem on your own first, before turning to someone else. Basically just try and rely on yourself rather than others - that’s how you build capability and confidence, and get away from feeling “sheltered”.

I am also a fairly trusting person - I generally assume people have good intentions until I have a reason not to. One thing you can do to help with this is “trust but verify”. Ask questions. I tend to take things people say at face value - if they later say something contradictory, it’s easy to be like “oh, I thought you said X before?” And see what they say. Ironically, by assuming the best in people, I usually get to see the best in them as it tends to make people less defensive, guarded, etc.

VivaLaVict0ria · 2022-03-05T20:58:30+00:00

You seem very self-aware which is a great start :)

The best way for humans to grow in the sense in which you're talking about is to make yourself beneficially uncomfortable, or do dangerous things safely.

If you want to be humbled as well as prepared for what could happen to a young woman in more dangerous parts of the world; join Jiu-jitsu; it's uncomfortable/dangerous/but also safe/ you'll come out of it with great friends, and be able to defend yourself should the worst occur.

It's also just really great exercise :)

Also volunteering; it'll open you up to the hardships that others face and you'll see just how hardworking you are when you're not getting paid for it.

Studying / applying Minimalism is a great way to contradict materialism.

Also watch some movies like Blood Diamond and 12 Years a Slave.

Whenever I get too pity-party-ish those movies knock the sense back into me real quick.

CountTheBees · 2022-03-05T22:01:11+00:00

I'm hardworking when it comes to my education, am very kind and never see the bad in people. I never had to lie, deceive, or feel injustice to get what I wanted.

I don't think these are bad things. I'm not sure why you would want to lie, deceive or feel injustice. Honesty, innocence, trust, are frankly the ideal characteristics for a woman.

Please understand, I'm not trying to convince you to remain infantile or not to self improve. There is a certain amount of world-interfacing you have to learn to do and become good at. But you have to be careful, because those exact characteristics you have now are what provoke men's fascination and adoration and protective instinct for you.

If you get rid of them now, it might be very very hard to get them back.

Please read this to understand how men view women and that exact sheltered quality that you are trying to erase.

Yung4Yrs · 2022-03-05T16:07:19+00:00

I was born in 1952. My father was a lover of things Disney and was a New Deal Democrat. In 1956 on the day when Disneyland opened to the general public, my whole family of 6 was there. And many times after. From Cinderella: "No matter how your heart is breaking, If you go on believing, the dream that you wish will come true." I will turn 70 this year. I am glad I'm fundamentally an optimist. But I still sabotage myself all these years later with the Pollyanna thinking imbued in me by my childhood. It takes grownup, mature WORK to learn to be an adult and stand up to the poppycock. From my life of experience, the sooner you learn your lessons, the less pain you will have to live through and the more joy you are likely to have in your personal life.

yogurtnutz · 2022-03-05T20:10:36+00:00

Do you work?

doily88 · 2022-03-05T20:53:40+00:00

I was also sheltered and protected and when I started working I realized that unless I spoke up I would continue to be confused about things I couldn’t fully comprehend. Experience helped a lot. Speaking up, getting into situations I haven’t been in before. It’s challenging and exciting.

Don’t let anything hold you back and know it’s OK to not understand. It’s not ok to be ignorant.

Ask questions and be curious to understand those aspects you didn’t experience. Try to be empathetic and connect with people who did have different experiences from you.

aussiedollface2 · 2022-03-05T23:33:02+00:00

I think some volunteer and charity work is good. I lived a very sheltered life and was the only girl and the youngest in my family, also had a strict religious school upbringing so it’s fair to say there were a lot of things I didn’t know lol. Becoming more worldly fosters empathy and the skills needed to care for others xo

RRBeachFG2 · 2022-03-05T19:58:51+00:00

Sounds like you have already taken the most important first step in realizing your situation and how you've been raised, most people don't even have that level of self-awarness.

kisseachother · 2022-03-05T21:45:59+00:00

Have you ever traveled solo?? I was pretty naive and sheltered when I was younger and traveling alone really helped me grow up. Do it on a modest budget, stay in hostels, explore an unknown city.

hearyoume14 · 2022-03-06T05:43:18+00:00

I (32F autist raise upper middle class)was,and still am to some extent,overprotected,,sheltered and raised under strict rules.

I would be grounded if I didn’t call (on a landline)by a certain time after school. I was barely allowed to watch anything pg-13 or over until I was 17. Our desktop and Tv were in shared space.

I do assume others think like me or certain things are normal. Having childlike wonder and being able to trust others is a good thing.It’s being those to a point where it is possibly dangerous.

Getting some real life experience and learning about other people’ stories will help.

Yung4Yrs · 2022-03-05T15:34:11+00:00

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Bubbly_Window_6719 · 2022-03-05T14:17:27+00:00

Is there a rallying point for helping the Ukraine - Refugees nearby? I volunteered for a few hours yesterday and I found very fulfilling plus I got to practice my very very rusty and incomplete Russian I was forced to learn in school.

TZ879 · 2022-03-06T02:29:15+00:00

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anonavocado0 · 2022-03-05T17:05:07+00:00

I can relate to this too..

Puzzleheaded-Ad-9905 · 2022-03-07T02:27:21+00:00

Just make sure to use your privilige to actually be successful and there's nothing wrong with it. No need to traumatize yourself or go through hardship for no reason, as long as you're a capable person that can handle life and stand on your own two feet, you shouldn't go after hardship just for the sake of it. However, many times hardship comes when you're being completely self reliant, so that is probably my advice to you, try to be completely self reliant in every single way and avoid living your life as if you do have a safety net but don't go through unnecessary trouble just because.

Don't go take a shit job with low hourly pay if you have a good education just because you want to struggle. That doesn't make sense. Your parents protected you for a reason.

lemadilyn07 · 2022-03-20T00:41:54+00:00

Live by yourself in a city.

Forward_Courage_7418 · 2022-03-30T17:07:16+00:00

Im the same. Brace yourself. People are unbelievably selfish, self centered.. evil..

If you dont expected that, you first encounters with real malevolance will completely break you.

People who you are helping will stab you in the back. Know that. Expect that... and value those who are trying their best to be better.

Title	I 22F was spoilt and sheltered my entire life. I don't know how to face hardships and am very naive/trusting/childlike.
Author	PrudentSort2150
Upvotes	102
Comments	39
Date	March 5, 2022 11:17 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/t77ejt/i_22f_was_spoilt_and_sheltered_my_entire_life_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/i-22f-was-spoilt-and-sheltered-my-entire-life-i.1104019 https://theredarchive.com/post/1104019

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