i can’t take this relationship anymore

Spittens · 2022-04-11T17:27:01+00:00

You owe him nothing. Block & delete.

Don't bother with a text in a few days, a week, or ever again. Don't give him a chance to suck you back in. You've made your point.

As for him going after other guys you might date, I think it's time you let yourself be single for a good long while. Level up, work on your life to the point you are happy with it. WITHOUT some dude mucking it up.

We're here for you. We love you and we're rooting for your success. Be safe, be careful, be happy.

ASeaOfQuotes · 2022-04-11T17:27:38+00:00

To your last sentence, no. Do not message him again. If you crack the door even a tiny bit after resolving yourself to be strong (good job!) he’ll shove his whole foot in. Do not crack the door open, do not communicate. Anyone who would say they’re sick of you deserves ZERO respect in return, he does not need closure from you and your peace needs to be maintained.

Please read Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft if you haven’t yet. You can find a free PDF on Google. It will show you all the patterns and behavior he has used to hurt you.

moonartemis1989 · 2022-04-11T17:28:02+00:00

4 months is still a very short period of time. Women here usually keep vetting till 6 months because men can drop their mask anytime , anywhere. You haven't missed anything , actually u dodged a huge dramatic scrote who blamed u for his mental instability. You shd be happy to he leaving him. Also from next time one pls remember 3 months is still very early to invest in a man completely

katiekat0214 · 2022-04-11T17:45:58+00:00

Oh HELL NO, sis, I am so glad you are out. The first few sentences were nothing but red flags! Fighting for your life, being scared, being negged/outright insulted/told to settle for less or get nothing, blaming you for his own depression, outright stating you'll be promiscuous after the break-up, not doing enough for him (when I'm sure you're already over-functioning) so as to make you "prove" yourself... HELL NO. HELL. To. The. NO. And then the AUDACITY to say he's sick of you? EFF THIS MOTHEREFFER. He needs to go to hell and die mad.

Block and delete NOW. You are losing NOTHING.

FUBARfromLSA · 2022-04-11T18:24:40+00:00

You’re doing so good hon!

I’m so proud of you- now keep it going by maintaining your resolve.

Block his number, he’s not your problem or responsibility- YOU and your safety comes before any stranger’s opinion if you.

You got this.

Tiltedwindmill · 2022-04-11T19:24:24+00:00

since it’s been nonstop continuous communication for 4 months, i still don’t owe him anything right?

You don't owe anyone any part of you, ever. You are your own person. Your time, your emotional labor are yours and yours alone. You do not owe him ANYTHING.

maybe in a few days or next week, i’ll text him “hey, thanks for everything. this relationship isn’t for me. wish you the best & more.”

Don't bother. He said he was sick of you. You didn't even need to respond "i wish you the best." I'd interpret that as dumped and never go back. Let the trash take itself out.

lskfjd743 · 2022-04-11T19:44:07+00:00

Burn the bridge and don't look back!! I had a friend in grad school whose grades were at risk of plummeting one semester as she tried to divest herself of a loser ex who was all like "i can't live without you - I am thinking of ending it all". After almost failing a midterm because she spent the week talking suicidal scrote off the ledge she had has enough. The next time she called to cops on him and told them that he was stalking her. They took a police report on the stalking, and took him to the local hospital for a psych hold, just in case. He was hella mad when he was released because the hospital billed his parents $5,000. But he avoided her like the plague since then!

DrildoBagurren · 2022-04-11T20:05:49+00:00

Silence is sometimes the best answer. You got it right -he'll only try to hoover you back in if you give him anything at all.

And for what it's worth, those horrible things he has been saying to you aren't true. My first relationship was with a guy who used to call me selfish, stuck up, dopey, backwards ...all kinds of things and it worked because family members had said similar things. But it wasn't true. None of it.
When guys say things like this it's just abuse. That's all it is. They'll wear you down with endless streams of criticism because they know that the moment you see yourself for who you are, you won't stick around. People like this - manipulators, abusers- they want to dictate the way you see yourself. They want to be the source of all of your opinions.
And the thing is, no matter how much you go out of your way to 'prove' to them that you aren't any of the things they say, they'll only double down or find something else to nitpick. Or they'll make up lies that other people have been saying things about you too. Sometimes they'll even smear you to other people to triangulate you. It's just....it's all bs.

It's actually almost funny (or would be if it weren't so horrible) to stand back in a few months time and realise that probably a lot of what he said applies more to him than if does to you.

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