Marry this muffin top momma with a mom bod and an attidude! No FWBs though... she knows her worth!

vic_vega_is_fake · 2022-04-10T19:19:27+00:00

"Mom Bod" now means "Obese"

Good to know.

If your kids really come first their Dad would be in the picture.

12inchbamboo · 2022-04-10T18:20:05+00:00

Mums body== fat!

Tyrone and Chads kids become first as your income is firstly needed to keep the bastards alive.

Aah and she knows how to cuddle.

Kindly sign me up for the once in a bluemoon vanilla sex!!

mustangfrank · 2022-04-10T20:25:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Snoid_ · 2022-04-10T18:50:21+00:00

She believes in the stars, so beware when Mercury starts retrograding into Uranus.

denvercaniac · 2022-04-10T19:37:56+00:00

"They'll come first"

No, you and their father(s) obviously did or they wouldn't be here.

I'm no one's second choice and nothing of what you wrote about sounds appealing.

Joaquino7997 · 2022-04-10T19:55:11+00:00

Make me your wife and you'll be the happiest guy in the world!

So......she's basically asking me to literally roll the dice. Dr. Jekyll before marriage and Mrs. Hyde x 10 afterwards??

Nah I'm good.

a whole lotta attitude

That alone will make men run for the hills!

I know my worth.

No she doesn't.

Who the hell are these women fooling??? Themselves?!?!

SquirtBurt · 2022-04-10T21:36:45+00:00

Translations:

I have a mom body

I'm fat due my poor nutritional knowledge and behavior.

Make me your wife

I need a bailout.

They always come first

My kids are my world, and I will care them more than you. So you will be last after Jonan, my dog.

Aquarius and believer of the stars

My brain and intellect is so low IQ that I need to believe in something so unstable and unpredictable to feel smart.

sweet but with attitude

I'm bipolar without medication.

I know my worth

I belong to the streets but I pretend I don't.

APathWellTraveled · 2022-04-10T21:00:26+00:00

Single mom with a self declared mom body and a bad attitude.

And astrology to top it off, disgusting.

nzricco · 2022-04-10T22:06:10+00:00

Always with the kids come first, but don't want a FWB, which is essentially what you become when she only gives you attention after the kids, herself, her job, house, kids father, etc.

cautionTomorrow555 · 2022-04-10T19:49:19+00:00

If she didn't have the shitty attitude and kids the body would be tolerable enough to most guys, but she chooses to play life on hard mode by being a bitch and thinking someone else should pay for Chads spawn.

guachumalakegua · 2022-04-10T20:39:21+00:00

…and learning how to love it

She’s giving up on loosing weight and now she’s using her hamster more mind tricks to fool herself into believing she’s beautiful.

reignoferror00 · 2022-04-10T19:57:35+00:00

In the picture, is the shirt tied off at her waist or breasts? (I believe the correct answer is "yes!"). How my tries did she take to get just that perfect photo? or did she go on a professional photo shoot for that?

Sweet as can be but with a whole lot of attitude? Place your bets. I bet that roulette wheel has only one number in the sweet spot.

Small town girl? If for some crazy reason I got stuck with her, I'd take the midnight train going anywhere.

sleepyweaselisawake · 2022-04-10T22:20:47+00:00

Restaurant manager, learning to love her mom bod..

Women are irredeemable.

Flat_Eric_1200 · 2022-04-11T00:30:46+00:00

You would have to have no respect for yourself to date this person. 🤢

Okayokayokay9999 · 2022-04-10T21:36:17+00:00

Don’t forget to tip her after the date.

HephaestusRuin · 2022-04-10T22:36:42+00:00

"My kids will always come first. But also, why won't men commit to me?"
Because, you idiot, you just told them you wouldn't commit to them, except to commit that their wants and needs would always be 2nd priority (or worse).
Also, if your kids are so important to you, why are you (apparently) determined to die from diabetes before they are adults?

SquirtBurt · 2022-04-11T02:27:49+00:00

You hear a lot of women claims they love "dad bods" but you never hear a man say they love "mom bods."

ThrowawayYAYAY2002 · 2022-04-10T18:56:01+00:00

Pfft...

vegasbadboy702 · 2022-04-10T22:40:08+00:00

“Make me your wife and you’ll be the happiest guy in the world.” Such blatantly false representations really should be the basis for a Lawsuit. Seriously anything else that was making such absurd claims would be properly ridiculed. “Buy my thirty year old fake omega watch and you’ll be the coolest guy around!”

Certainly she won’t marry the father(s) of her children but you should and just accept all her baggage which comes with a “whole lot of attitude”. She is right that you should assume her kids will come first so you men should make sure you come first and run away from this train wreck.

Flashy_Glove6208 · 2022-04-11T06:11:46+00:00

I know my worth

Hahahaha, not before having two bastard children though?

Your value on the totem pole is at rock bottom.

Keep living in the world of dilusion.

PirateDocBrown · 2022-04-11T06:27:32+00:00

Now, now, fellas, I'd move in with that... if I was unemployed and living in a homeless camp. I know my worth.

flowingwisdom13 · 2022-04-11T02:48:12+00:00

Geez. In her head she is listing all the qualities that make her strong, independent and empowered, no doubt. Whereas all I can read if how she fully embodies the definition of liability from all angles

pilotbrown16 · 2022-04-10T21:52:49+00:00

Sounds like STBXW

MentORPHEUS · 2022-04-11T18:18:43+00:00

She's way past muffin top and well into Front Butt territory.

UwUkraine_RussiaChan · 2022-04-13T11:36:31+00:00

Nothing sexier than a pot belly dangling down over a gal's pants *shudders*

Title	Marry this muffin top momma with a mom bod and an attidude! No FWBs though... she knows her worth!
Author	Prestigious_Nugs
Upvotes	168
Comments	56
Date	April 10, 2022 6:01 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/u0n4t1/marry_this_muffin_top_momma_with_a_mom_bod_and_an/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/marry-this-muffin-top-momma-with-a-mom-bod-and-an.1110467 https://theredarchive.com/post/1110467

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