Is it a turn off to women if a man lives with roommates?

xvszero · 2022-04-17T20:57:24+00:00

It's probably fine in most cases. Though I do think most people would PREFER to have a space they could go to where they can be alone and have some intimacy. And also, if your roommates are toxic assholes, then no one will want to be around them.

napsack340 · 2022-04-18T01:15:44+00:00

There’s dudes who get laid on a regular basis while living at home in their parents basement. Stop overthinking this.

Leading_Barracuda_78 · 2022-04-17T21:30:58+00:00

How bizarre, I can't imagine it bothering anyone? I have never dated a man who didn't live with flatmates (in my 30s and live in London). All my friends' boyfriends have also always lived with flatmates. If anything I think the opposite would be weird - if I met someone who lived on his own I'd wonder if he was really posh and feel uncomfortable about that.

Re: living with parents: I've had plenty of friends who lived with their parents as adults. It wouldn't be "repulsive" (that's a harsh word) or a deal-breaker. Suppose I might find it a bit awkward in terms staying over. I had a friend in her 40s who was dating a man (also 40s) a few years ago who lived with his dad; she didn't care and I don't know why she would.

2022-04-18T01:19:43+00:00

In todays climate I would expect it.

RealRussShackleford · 2022-04-18T03:00:20+00:00

Generally this is going to be an issue of compatibility. A woman that lives with roommates is less likely to be bothered about you living with roommates.

A woman living with her parents is the same about you living with your parents.

Obviously it’s more likely you’re going to encounter resistance if you’re living with your parents and she owns her own home, but that’s probably just the beginning of the issues that the two of you would hypothetically have due to income inequality, uneven social status, varying professional status etc.

2022-04-18T03:51:57+00:00

In this economy???

degeT_sTy · 2022-04-17T19:59:12+00:00

As long as you don't live with your exes I wouldn't mind roommates.

Venustarr_777 · 2022-04-17T21:43:41+00:00

Idk. I haven't dated a person with roommates except twice; both people were young and immature. Most guys I know have their own place. At least an apartment.

DemondWolf · 2022-04-17T21:57:58+00:00

It depends

princessbubbbles · 2022-04-18T01:54:24+00:00

Am woman. It's fine. If I were moving in, I would wait until I knew the roommates better. Honestly, most young people in the U.S. (my country) don't have a choice about their living situation right now.

Note: I would look at the dude's relationship with the roommates. Cordial or outright friendly relationships with the roommates is of course good. If he has bad roommates, being as respectful as possible and not stooping low to get back is what I would look for.

spaceshipwoohoo · 2022-04-17T20:25:00+00:00

In my country it is super common to go live with roommates once you start studying so no, not a problem with me. As long as he has his own room and no creepy roommates. And as long as he knows how to keep the house clean and tidy of course!

ErrythingPhroze · 2022-04-18T03:46:33+00:00

Sadly yes it’s a turn off. They are going to always want you to have your own places

ispariz · 2022-04-18T02:08:34+00:00

Depends on the location, depends on the culture, depends on the roommates, and most especially, depends on the woman.

I'd say many people 30+ who live somewhere with reasonable cost of living will have some expectation of prospective partners living independently, but not all. 25-35 is a stage where people vary really widely in terms of where they're at. Some have been working professionals for a decade or more, some got off to a slower start and are finishing their degrees. Some women will already have several kids, some will want kids ASAP, some won't.

It's really hard to generalize, and kind of pointless. Would YOU be bothered if a prospective partner had roommates or lived with their parents?

You say women aren't a monolith, but ask a question that's impossible to give a real answer to without making them into one.

mammajess · 2022-04-18T04:00:40+00:00

When I was young it was fine because everyone was living like that. If your roomies are cool then it could even be a plus.

5MinuteMentalFitness · 2022-04-18T05:05:08+00:00

Shit I would love to live with roommates again.

This time round I’d pool my money with my roommates and start investing in rental units.

With 200k down payment (50k each) we could probably get a 20 unit complex for under 2 million fixed mortgage for 35 years.

Shave off 6 unit income for taxes mortgage/repairs. Divide rest of the 16 rental income by 4 and your left with a little under 60k a year (assuming each unit went for 1200 a month) not including rising net worth of your property and depreciating for your taxes.

2022-04-18T12:29:54+00:00

Depends on age, life stage, what the roommates are like, what kind of relationship the woman is looking for. As you mentioned- some cities are much more expensive to live in, so it's also important to consider that. In my hometown you can definitely afford your own apartment if you make a bit above minimum wage.

Now that I'm older and more established, I would feel a little weird dating a guy who still lived with roommates, but it wouldn't be a dealbreaker. In my city, things are expensive but not as crazy as the cities you mentioned. Most people 25+ who I know are able to live alone, and if you make over 50k you can afford to live alone (unless you're in debt- and in my city 50k is below the average income).

So at this point it wouldn't be a dealbreaker, but given that I'm in my later 20s, making good money, live alone, and don't just want a FWB- then roommates could indicate that we're potentially at different places. I think the only reason it'd be a dealbreaker is if the roommates were assholes or if they acted like frat boys.

Angiixxx · 2022-04-18T13:39:23+00:00

I depends a lot of the situation. In general it's not a red flag for me

Meiguishui · 2022-04-18T14:29:22+00:00

If he’s over 30, yes.

sans_serif_size12 · 2022-04-18T16:35:55+00:00

In this economy, I’d be more surprised if people did live solo. I’m from California, and everyone I grew up with either lives at home with their parents, have several roommates, or married.

Yupperdoodledoo · 2022-04-18T18:26:49+00:00

I think this is a regional thing. In cities where housing is super expensive roommates are far more common. It’s just necessary for survival. I suppose in places with cheap housing people might feel differently.

dottywine · 2022-04-19T02:30:26+00:00

So I don't know WHICH of those cities you live in. I'll tell you from the perspective of someone who lives in a large city with "okay" enough rent prices that a healthy, regular guy making $30k/year takehome or more should be able to find somewhere to live alone.

Living with roommates past your 30s here is REALLY weird to me, as a woman. And for me, personally, if a guy is 25 + with roommates, that's weird to me. Though, I might give him a chance if I see that he's just really great with saving and investing his money or something. Similar to living with parents - it's possible he is doing it to be very smart with money and not out of necessity.

Also -- what kind of relations are you seeking? If it's just to hook up, it doesn't matter. If it's for a long term relationship, yea - it would be of concern to me.

Divaceo · 2023-08-18T19:46:16+00:00

In this economy? Not the same economy that women can afford to live alone in. I’m 36 & live alone in Southern California so a man would sound extremely pathetic telling me it takes 2 or more incomes to pay rent in this economy. I’d wonder how I found myself in the presence of such a failure in life.

Title	Is it a turn off to women if a man lives with roommates?
Author	napsack340
Upvotes	19
Comments	43
Date	April 17, 2022 7:46 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/u5un1x/is_it_a_turn_off_to_women_if_a_man_lives_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/is-it-a-turn-off-to-women-if-a-man-lives-with.1112274 https://theredarchive.com/post/1112274

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