Easy friendships with women but few sexual relationships, friends partners feeling "safe" around them. Are women friends with ugly guys?

VermiciousKnidzz · 2022-08-06T15:07:27+00:00

Do the girls feel comfortable around him and open up because he doesnt try it on with them?

I think this. I think youre seeing some real genuine inter-gender friendships which a lot of people on this sub seem to think is impossible or bizarre.

Vtridolla · 2022-08-06T15:08:33+00:00

Would you sleep with a woman you found was “ugly?”

januaryphilosopher · 2022-08-06T15:32:40+00:00

I've been friends with people who I've never found attractive and those I've found attractive, including those I've asked out. Feeling comfortable around someone doesn't have much to do with finding them attractive and even less to do with looks.

sarkington · 2022-08-06T15:50:34+00:00

If we wanted to fuck you, we would fuck you.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-08-06T15:13:58+00:00

I have a lot of male friends and I would not call any of them ugly. If I was that uncharitable about them, I would be a poor friend indeed. I wouldn't necessarily date my platonic male friends but that doesn't make them unattractive - and most of them have wives anyway. We just don't have the chemistry that would be required for me to want to have sex with them. Chemistry is not just about looks - it's about that "click" that happens between two people.

GlowingAsItDazzles · 2022-08-06T15:29:17+00:00

women are "friends" with guys who never made a sexual move during the short window of opportunity and then still stuck around to hang out

Anykindofland · 2022-08-06T17:43:36+00:00

Do the girls feel comfortable around him and open up because he doesnt try it on with them?

Because women view those men not as fully human. They are jesters, therapists, a bundle of resources but not human. If you don't pass the looks threshold, most women will not care about you at all. They can't comprehend that those men have sexual/romantic thoughts, desires and feelings too. They simply don't care. There are basically to types of guys in the eyes of a woman: The hot guy who passes the looks threshold and is seen as a fellow human being. The other type are just faceless grey NPCs who just exist in their vicinity. Maybe some of them are friends, some of them are acquaintances or colleagues, but as long as you are not hot enough to pique their interest, you are not considered to have normal human emotions.

AcanthocephalaNew947 · 2022-08-06T16:21:07+00:00

I can honestly say I’m most comfortable with my straight male friends when one of us is in a relationship, because the lines drawn clearly.

I have been and currently am friends with single straight males, I tend to be… less close… possibly maybe subconsciously so the line isn’t crossed. Old Male Friends I’ve had for years who are divorced or newly single I don’t see them differently because at that point we’re practically family.

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-08-06T17:51:17+00:00

I know you guys think it’s crazy here, but men and women of all levels of attractiveness can be good friends. It’s not a blip, it happens regularly.

This is what life looks like when you don’t judge the opposite gender on their value and what they can do for you

ruboyuri · 2022-08-06T18:09:32+00:00

Some men are more mature/considerate than others. Some aren’t as horny. Who knows?

Express-Fig-5168 · 2022-08-06T22:35:19+00:00

My friends are physically attractive to me and in general, I just don't find any of them sexually or romantically attractive, they are to other people, just not me.

Ugly is not the same thing as sexually unattractive. Ugly & plain is under sexually &/ physically/aesthetically unattractive but it isn't the same thing. I will once again recommend usage of the split attraction model.

anon018274031 · 2022-08-07T09:01:04+00:00

So friendship?

‘Do the girls feel comfortable around him and open up because he doesn’t try it on with them’- not really. I feel comfortable around my guy friends (both physically attractive to me and not) because they are good people. They are respectful, kind and I feel safe with them because I am safe with them. Even if they made a move I know I would be free and safe to make the choice in how I respond to it. I know that if something happens they’ve got my back because they have shown they have. I can let that guard down I may have with other men.

Attractiveness has nothing to do with it.

JoeRMD77 · 2022-08-06T20:03:25+00:00

Ugly doesn't mean unattractive according to a popular post somewhere from a month or so ago, maybe more. And I tend to agree with that. There's this ugly girl at work but she has a banging body and I still find her attractive. I'd consider myself ugly as well but not unattractive because whenever I've wanted a decently attractive woman, I go out and find one, either through online or in a social setting if I put myself out there enough - when I was in high school it took no effort just because I was socially adept and still am.

It's painfully evident how clueless some people are around here.

kboogie82 · 2022-08-06T15:34:27+00:00

Yes. To dump emotions onto, get attention, resources and help from. It's the most evil thing a person (man or women) can do is knowingly lead someone on. It damages that person being friendzoned.

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RocinanteCoffee · 2022-08-06T20:54:29+00:00

I don't base my friendships around how attractive I find people. If I develop feelings for a friend I make a decision on if I want to try to nip this crush before it gets out of control or if I want to take a leap of faith and let my friend know I've developed lust for them (I don't want a long term relationship with anyone so I'd make that clear to someone if I'm talking about feeling attracted to them).

I moved to a new state and then we began a global pandemic so my social circle is limited here but I have had and have friends of all genders and all different types of looks and qualities. Throughout my years so far some friends have admitted attraction to me and if I didn't reciprocate they either remained friends (usually it wasn't weird after or only weird for a short time) or if they didn't want to be my friend anymore after or found it too painful they left my life.

I still have plenty of friends who we each recommend each other as wingmen/wingwomen/wingpeople and will even recommend each other as fuckable even though we both want to remain friends.

All genders can be friends with each other. Sometimes feelings develop, but they don't always. Sometimes they develop and are one-sided, sometimes they turn into sex or a romance, or even a relationship.

What's attractive is relative. What if my average looking male friend is very supportive, we each are good to each other, but he's a little too conservative for my tastes? I can still maybe be friends with him as long as his takes don't support jeopardizing my neighbors who are minorities or threaten the gay families in my area, but I'm never going to want to date him (even if he suddenly became hotter or even if he was super hot to begin with).

NyahFriday · 2022-08-06T21:46:47+00:00

Why don't you think men and women can be close friends? Aside from the standard "As long as neither side finds the other side attractive", just because you find someone physically attractive that doesn't mean 1) it won't get old anyway and 2) you can't see past it and care for them strictly emotionally. Speaking only for myself, how much I care about someone or am emotionally drawn to someone has little to do with how much I want to fuck them.

iwasneverherehaha · 2022-08-07T01:37:41+00:00

I think most of my male friends are really good-looking guys. They’re just people who are more like brothers to me, and me like a sister to them, because we don’t have the kind of connection that sparks desire or romance.

In my social circles it’s not just normal but almost universal to have close inter-gender friends that truly do not involve anyone catching feelings. I realize that doesn’t seem to be normal for everyone, but it’s unremarkable for me.

TheElusivePeacock · 2022-08-07T18:31:55+00:00

I’ve learned you can’t be friends with unattractive men. All my guy friends are nice looking.

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