wife and girls trip

My wife of 10 yrs (4 kids together) went on girls trip to an all-inclusive to a foreign country with a group of friends that we don't hang out with and that I don't know well for a friends big milestone birthday (6 total, 3 are single/divorced, 1 in an on-off, rocky relationship, and 1 happily married). The only thing I do know is that two of them like to party.

Side note: I asked a group of guy friends to go on a guys trip and the wives/girlfriends all vetoed and asked why the wives/girlfriends couldn't go - why the double standard?

Before leaving, my wife said they wouldn't be leaving the resort because it's not safe to leave the resort. When she got there she said she let me know that they had arrived and that she had wi-fi at the resort. Our relationship is very close, we are always in close contact via text but with her being on vacation, I planned on limiting the interaction so she could have fun and not feel like she had to check in. However, after the text that she had wi-fi at the resort, she stopped sending or responding and the messages I sent stopped being delivered for 12 hours until late into the evening.

I was fine for the first several hours because I didn't need check-ins from her (I genuinely wanted her to have fun because with kids we rarely get alone time) but after about 9 hours, my mind started wondering whether she was safe. I began thinking they must have left the resort, had more than likely been drinking heavily all day (all inclusive), and people are down there for a variety of reasons including to hook-up/party. I feared for her safety given that she's a small girl and doesn't drink a lot these days. I don't worry about her intent but I do worry about the intent of others and drinking isn't a good combination in this situation. While I was worried, I knew she wouldn't miss the kids' bedtime so I decided to not be overly worried until this time passed. She ended up missing the kids' bedtime. I decided to send a message to one of the friends who's number I do have. Her friend's response was that she was 'somewhat close' to her and asked if I wanted her to call. I said no because I just wanted to know that she was safe. In my mind I knew that she was at least alive but that the group of friends had disbanded.

For context, on our honeymoon she was traumatized at an all-inclusive by a man who had snuck into the women's restroom and made her feel very uncomfortable. We had been drinking all day.

I told my wife the next day (tho I said I'd prefer to talk when she got home because I didn't want to bring her down) that I was worried and that I'd have expected her to think at some point throughout the day after no contact all day to just send a quick hey I'm good, I'm safe, and we are having fun. She said she left her phone in the room so she wouldn't lose it but acknowledged that she should have checked in. I asked her if since all of her friends had phones and reception, I asked her if she considered having her friends send a text letting me and the kids know that she's safe. She said that she hadn't thought of us all day but that she felt bad having worried me. Her friends saw her emotion and they discussed this as a group. My wife told me that her friends said that I overreacted. She also told me that she told her mom about our discussion and that her mom said I'm crazy. I thought my MIL and I had a really good relationship so I was very surprised that she had discussed this with her and more surprised by her mom's response (and very hurt).

I asked my wife why she felt the need to air our dirty laundry and she mentioned that she's been doing it less lately. This was a bit shocking to me because I would never discuss our issues with anyone but her (it's nothing big just normal marriage and life with kids as two working parents). That said, I always sing my wife's praises privately or in front of her to other people because I am very proud of her and she does a lot for me and our family. When I asked her why she felt the need to air our laundry vs. coming to me she just said that it's because in moment she is upset and wants to talk (and that she never considered how it would make me look to her friends and family when she only discusses our issues and not the many great things we share together).

I asked her if I had gone missing on a guy's trip - would she have been worried and she said she absolutely would. I also asked her if I had shared the details with my family and friends if she would have been hurt and she said yes. In my mind, she's done irreparable damage to my relationships with these friends and her family and there's no way to dig myself out of the hole that she's dug for me (apparently over the years not only with this incident).

I fear that putting my wife's safety first has made me look like a bad guy in the eyes of her friends and family. I recently saw her friends at a work party and they were very cold to me. I have yet to see my MIL. Am I the crazy one?