I'm getting really sick and tired of being discriminated against on first dates.

red_philosopher · 2022-08-27T23:53:19+00:00

Never had this problem. Ever. Why even tell them? If the park is nice, just invite them to the park.

Makes_Them_Eat_Honey · 2022-08-27T23:49:23+00:00

Don’t mention it’s near your place?

Kinda seems like you’re just trying to fuck, especially inviting them to your place immediately and tbh fair enough but don’t get mad if they reject you. It is sketchy inviting someone you haven’t even met yet to your place and also unsafe to you. From my experience a lot of girls out there use photoshop on dating apps, are lying about being casual or might turn into stalkers. Giving out your address immediately is really unsafe.

Regular-Loser-569 · 2022-08-27T22:53:09+00:00

People have all sorts of preferences. Just meet somewhere else?

longhairedSD · 2022-08-28T00:49:00+00:00

You also should protect yourself and not invite a woman to your house that you don’t even know! Any number of things could go wrong, all very bad for you.

63daddy · 2022-08-27T23:00:42+00:00

I get not wanting to come to your home, but this being afraid to meet in public is ridiculous. Feminism has taught women to live in fear.

OkraGarden · 2022-08-28T00:12:21+00:00

Having your default first date location be your house and still insisting the woman meet you somewhere very close to it if they aren't comfortable with entering your home without knowing you does send up red flags. It's not a good idea to date a woman who would go along with that unquestioningly anyway. She's either an extremely easy lay or a pollyanna with no situational awareness skills. Neither of them make good girlfriends or wives.

pearl_harbour1941 · 2022-08-27T23:33:08+00:00

If you're intent on continuing dating, turn it round on them. Ask them if they are a creepy stalker who is going to murder you, before they ever get the chance to ask you. They love that shit. Mostly they aren't expecting it, so they shut up for a second and then burst out laughing and say "If you're nice enough..." or something tame which indicates game on.

Don't give them your address, and tell them you're not going to because the concierge is getting really fed up of women in tents in the lobby. Something ridiculous. Do it all with the appropriate "I'm kinda kidding" emojis.

I'm kinda kidding.

But not really...

alacrity · 2022-08-27T23:40:51+00:00

Nobody owes you a damn thing. Women don’t owe you, men don’t owe you. It’s not even remotely discrimination to not want to meet near your place. Frankly, your insistence on it and obvious entitled irritation with not getting your way on it so early in a dating process does have clear creep, stay away from vibes. I’d drop you too. You sound like the epitome of entitled, whiny loser. Decent looking doesn’t mean decent person. 100% not surprised you keep getting ghosted.

Forcetobereckonedwit · 2022-08-28T01:01:27+00:00

I wouldn't be. Just meet for a drink in a place where you can talk and listen. No biggie, brother. I get it that you're safe and sane, but they've been indoctrinated by the media into thinking any guy could attack them.

Second date, an activity.

Third date dinner, wherever.

Of course there's the tinder booty call dates where after some chats they'll come straight to your place for kinked sex😳😳😳 I've had PLENTY of those; always surprises me.

I still don't see why you're so pissed about it.

BronnoftheGlockwater · 2022-08-28T01:46:19+00:00

OP doesn’t have the social skills to date. First date is meeting a woman at a public place for a drink/coffee/ice cream/whatever. Inviting girls to his place is a Harvey Weinstein vibe, and giving them his address is just desperate.

He expects a girl to truck over to a bar near his place instead of heading over to them, or meeting in the middle? Lazy. If he was smarter, he’d at least suggest the bar next door and claim is was halfway between them.

yesgeorge43 · 2022-08-27T22:49:38+00:00

From what I’ve seen men get generalized on a constant basis, yet nothing is ever said against. Everyone seems to think anyone white, straight, and male is just inherently evil now a days. It’s like we’re all guilty till proven innocent. It happens to me a bunch too man, I feel for you. You’ll find someone that’ll make it all worth it though. It just takes a lot of patience and focusing on being the best man you can be

Nightgasm · 2022-08-27T22:48:25+00:00

No one of either gender should be pushing to have early dates at or right next to others residence. It's not safe for any as the person could turn out to be psycho. This is neither a male or female thing, it's common sense for everyone.

PaddleFishFap · 2022-08-28T01:13:02+00:00

Yeah that gives off total " just want to fu*k" vibes.

Maybe just ask them to go out first and not mention where you live.

klouted_pollo · 2022-08-27T22:58:40+00:00

This a minor issues, it happens to us all. Don’t trip, bc there are crazy dudes out there. When I was younger and I met chick at they house I was all sketched out and nervous cause you never know who/what type of person they are. Till this day if ion know someone I be on alert and expecting the unexpected, human nature to want to protect yourself

Just be understanding and go along with it

International_Risk82 · 2022-08-28T00:03:16+00:00

Asking to meet someone you don't know near your house is creepy regardless of the gender of the person asking. A better alternative is to meet somewhere in the middle which would also make it easier for both people.

5tar_k1ll3r · 2022-08-28T00:12:10+00:00

I don't think it's really discrimination... it's pretty weird to want to bring someone to your home on your very first date. At the very least, I know I'd be hella uncomfortable with that

Like it seems like you want the first date to end in sex, which is really odd, imo

WingsofSky · 2022-08-28T01:29:20+00:00

You have to start them out with lunch or something easy. Then work your way up.

"Come back to my place" is kind of a of the horizontal dance level thing.

cedal_lito · 2022-08-28T00:12:47+00:00

I think these are just excuses, they are not really attracted to you, or these women never got into dating apps with the intention to meet people, only to get attention. Meeting unknown people in public, open places in broad daylight is absolutely fine.

politits · 2022-08-28T01:52:05+00:00

1) this doesn’t meet the definition of discrimination. Not even close. What you’re describing is rejection. And you’re getting rejected for good reason as detailed below.

2) inviting them over for a first date is always a bad idea because they genuinely do have to worry about their safety. Most rape is date rape. So even asking is already a red flag to most women even if cooking for others is a nice gensture since you’re a complete stranger and no one should trust complete strangers enough to come to a strangers home that they met on a dating app when there are so many creeps and fake catfishing profiles out there. 3) after getting coming over to a stranger’s house rejected as a date idea you’re asking them to meet you as close to your house as possible, which is really lazy and low-effort at best and at worst an obvious attempt to get them to come over to your house. That’s another big red flag.

And again, this has nothing to do with discrimination. It’s not a rejection of your gender as a whole, it’s rejection of you because of your bad choices.

In conclusion, offer to meet them for coffee or ice cream at a neutral location from now on and your odds will significantly improve.

denisc9918 · 2022-08-27T23:38:36+00:00

<shrug> could be worse, they might come to your place and turn out to be one of the lunatics.

In the context of men in general, it's really hard for me personally to feel much sympathy for your terrible plight. Must be tough to be you.

2022-08-28T00:13:30+00:00

Imagine how sick women are of being afraid. Men kill women. I’m a guy. We outweigh them by 100 pounds. We could easily kill them in seconds. I support MRA but this is a serious issue for women. I’ve slept with women on the first date and honest to God I don’t know what they’re thinking. Never met me before. No references. Flew in from out of state. I’m a good guy. I guess they believed they sensed that but any run of the mill sociopath could fool them. We need a better process the vet partners because women psychopaths exist in equal numbers.

Basketballjuice · 2022-08-28T02:04:25+00:00

I don't think it's a discrimination thing it's just that meeting people is scary and you as a man are physically stronger than most women so some people see a risk they don't want to take.

Paranoid? maybe, but unfounded? No.

Though I don't really understand it when you're meeting in public anyways.

NoCommunication5976 · 2022-08-28T02:20:39+00:00

It seems like you’re bending over backwards to please strangers. Stand up for yourself a bit and be more firm. Think of it like this: you’re giving a stranger the opportunity to enter your awesome life.

2022-08-27T23:59:26+00:00

You need to realise that the women who unmatch you because of a small detail like that are not looking to date you. They are looking for mr. perfect and anything less is a no go. They honestly do you a favor for not going on a date with you and then blocking you.

dojoboy · 2022-08-28T00:19:33+00:00

Those women are doing you a favor. Telegraphing a neurotic personality trait is a good thing as long as one recognizes it for what it is. I do not recommend anyone feeding into such. You’re getting a much better selection of women.

peasey360 · 2022-08-28T00:41:47+00:00

Shit like this is why I don’t even bother with online dating. I’m in the same boat as you, nice apartment and truck right next to all the up and coming bars and restaurants. Know your worth king, they’ll eventually hit the wall and say “where are all the good men” when they can’t find mr. Perfect.

Interesting-Eye-5464 · 2022-08-28T01:32:32+00:00

Women want to be lied to.

ZekalMacabre · 2022-08-28T02:27:23+00:00

Blame feminism and their idiotic victim culture. This is their doing.

i_out_pizzad_da_hut · 2022-08-27T22:46:12+00:00

You should do their moms

401kisfun · 2022-08-28T02:35:12+00:00

Just text back ‘and so could you lol! meet in public 4 1st date’ and leave all the extra shit out.

Title	I'm getting really sick and tired of being discriminated against on first dates.
Author	KandyShop4321
Upvotes	67
Comments	81
Date	August 27, 2022 10:35 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/wzfhpo/im_getting_really_sick_and_tired_of_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/im-getting-really-sick-and-tired-of-being.1131078 https://theredarchive.com/post/1131078

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