The Girl Boss Paradox - Why Empowered Women Are Miserable

Ok_Obligation_6110 · 2022-09-15T14:51:15+00:00

I used to work with a lot of these types before becoming married and becoming a literal barefoot and pregnant housewife. I worked in a career where I was even headed down this route. I saw so many women focus on ‘getting the bag’ (literally, being able to buy multiple designer bags and other material things). Drinks after work were just a reason for everyone to bitch CONSTANTLY about how completely miserable they were working 60+ hour weeks in order to afford their once a year girls trip to Ibiza or buying fancy purses. Also used to complain about how little their bfs do around the house (emphasis on bf not husbands).

Even the ones who were married said they could never imagine having kids or waiting years and years to because they were enjoying their lifestyle too much and didn’t want to give it up. Ok, but are you?? You don’t seem to be satisfied working your ass off, constantly fighting with your SO because you’re both so exhausted when you come home, and then using your salary to do what? Just overly inflate your lifestyle with material goods by working overtime at a job that stresses you out so much you have to see a therapist twice a week? I couldn’t see how they would ever find long term happiness, and fulfillment (we worked in advertising it’s not like anyone was finding the cure for cancer) in a constant cycle of overworking to get more money just to spend it on material things. I’m so glad I quit, although I’ll admit I do get jealous sometimes about not having my ‘own’ money to spend frivolously on whatever I want. It’s actually a good thing because my husband is much more of a saver and the things we truly want in life are much closer in reach (a big house, a vacation house, sailing lessons, etc) than they ever would be if I was still in a lifestyle of constant work stress and feeling the need to spend money on drinks after work and designer purses to bring to the office to offset how miserable I was in the short term.

Not sure where I was going with this rant other than to agree that the myth of the empowered girl boss who has it all has ruined potential happiness for a lot of us. It’s especially ironic as many of these women claim to be anti capitalists and yet willingly choose to be a cog in the capitalist machine of working nonstop at the expense of building an actual life for themselves and finding true long term fulfillment.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2022-09-15T04:59:41+00:00

This isn't complicated. Becoming a "girl boss" and chasing success is a double-edged sword. Why? Because hypergamy is working inversely proportional to success - women date across and up dominance hierarchies and men date across and down. So the higher up the economic ladder a man rises, the more options he has in the SMP. The woman rises, however, the fewer eligible men there are for her, because: hypergamy. Eventually, if they rise high enough, women basically become the men they had hoped to marry.

And they resent it.

Left to their own devices, nearly all women (and men, for that matter) have no interest in putting in the work required to be a CEO. C-suite jobs are not the place to find your Zen. You have to be single-minded and make a ton of sacrifices in other areas of your life. As the TRP Master Blaster of CorporateLand, I have carefully structured my career to support my life and happiness outside of CorporateLand. As I put it, "The purpose of my 9 to 5 is to give me the 5 to 9 I want." I say that (mostly) in jest, but the reality is that whatever your work is, unless you are one of those rare people who gets to work in something they love - David Lee Roth and Stephen Tyler, I am looking at you - then the purpose of your work is to provide you and your family and loved ones with comfort and care.

The Feminists of the 60s understood power solely in male terms. Thus it was "We're unhappy - MEN! Fix all of our problems!" What does being a career girl get you? A cubicle and a paycheck. That pales in comparison to Creating Life in your body and raising the next generation, if you ask me. And it certainly beats living life hearing the tell-tale clock ticking and worrying about being mummified and eaten by cats. Evidently that's a thing now. Just ask Shulamith Firestone. Oh wait, you can't: she died alone and was eaten by her cats. Choose wisely.

SentientApe · 2022-09-14T21:16:58+00:00

For some reason the link was not captured in the creation of the post....

Here is the video link

sunglasses90 · 2022-09-15T01:56:45+00:00

I listened to the video, or most of it earlier today while I cooked dinner. I can say as a 29 year old who was reading “Lean In” by Sheryl Sandburg a few years back and who is now happily leaning out of my career and getting married in April it was validating that my analysis that women can’t have it all is fairly accurate. Because in reality men can’t have it all either. Life is about making choices that create the life you want in the future. I built my young life around being a career woman. It was fine, but I always felt I was missing a huge chunk of life which was being a loving partner and being able to finally embrace my more traditional feminine side. The men I dated while in my career phase were all pretty beta. I walked all over them again and again. Not husband material.

Then I invested heavily in my looks and leaned out of my career- no more chasing promotions- no more going above and beyond and prioritized finding a husband and it 100% worked. I couldn’t be happier and two incomes is way better than one so i achieved that goal as well.

Jikira · 2022-09-19T13:37:21+00:00

I find the rhetoric around this subject disheartening. I will watch this later while I work.

I find that I am very happy as a career women. I was raised in a Christian family and taught that women can’t find joy in a career.

I joined RPW at 14 and internalized the ideals until I was 20. Decided it was not for me.

I feel that I am lucky though as my parents encouraged me to pursue the things that I loved. The truth is I could never be a SAHM. I see your life and thank god, I live in a society, where I can chose not to.

The reasons I don’t like this rhetoric is because it usually does not help the individual. Especially when the rhetoric influences consumers to make black and white conclusions.

People in career are generally more unhappy. SAHD report being happier than being a breadwinner.

Careers are a lot like relationships you can be in a good one or a bad one. I had to learn that my happiness in my career is based on my environment. I do not settle, I spent time cultivating skills so, I don’t have to.

I am still young, and dumb as they say. Maybe one day I will. Wake up and be that bitter cat lady, who regrets everything. TBD

Glum_Palpitation_587 · 2022-09-15T18:51:08+00:00

I am starting to question this idea that empowered women are miserable... I actually feel pretty good when I am being valued for my intelligence and abilities at work, and not planning on quitting any time soon. I felt much more miserable cooking and cleaning after a guy that did not deserve me to quit my career and independence, if I would have done it it would have been a huge mistake. It is actually possible to find a good balance between empowerment and femininity both at and outside work. Once I close my laptop at 4pm I am free to do all the feminine stuff that I want, I work out, do yoga, paint my nails, wear dresses, cook...After my failed red pill attempt in my previous relationship I have now embraced both my empowerment and femininity . At 36 and one month after my breakup I have met the most loving guy I could ever imagine. He is not an alpha type, has a moderate income and it is not super hot, but we admire and love each other, he is not intimidated that I have two degrees and earn more than him, he actually is attracted to it. He is already hinting marriage plans. I have not felt any hypergamy since I met him, since I valuate a good loyal man before any superficial and materialistic reasons. Any thoughts about what I am going through? I am actually surprised of feeling so good about this situation. What do you think may go wrong according to red pill?

AutoModerator · 2022-09-14T21:15:36+00:00

Title: The Girl Boss Paradox - Why Empowered Women Are Miserable

Full text: Description: Aydin Paladin compiles several studies to analyze the Happiness of Women. The video is 1:28:11 long and presents a nomological network of information on the topic.

I know that this is not a traditional post topic for this sub, but I thought that some of you might enjoy seeing the data around this and her analysis on the subject.

Please be aware that the information is quite dense and she reads through it quickly, but she does provide a non-scholarly explanation after each statistical analysis, ultimately providing a conclusionary statement at the end.

Also, she does use memes in specific points of the video as an attempt at humor.

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LargeTry88 · 2024-01-07T17:42:35+00:00

Not one study stated that empowerment are "miserable", its way more nuanced as the video itself admits. Women being "somewhat happier"when xy doesnt equal "others miserable" and some studies even stated that career women are happier in some european areas. But its pretty complex. What can be said is that women working full time AND having kids tend to be less happy, whereas women who work part time and have kids non surprisingly are less stressed and thus tend to be happier. But Not "all women", just mere tendencies. Same applies to married vs married men.

Title	The Girl Boss Paradox - Why Empowered Women Are Miserable
Author	SentientApe
Upvotes	61
Comments	30
Date	September 14, 2022 9:15 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/xedjj2/the_girl_boss_paradox_why_empowered_women_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/the-girl-boss-paradox-why-empowered-women-are.1132975 https://theredarchive.com/post/1132975

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