Wife wants divorce UK (Scotland) - advice needed

akihonj · 2022-11-05T17:39:56+00:00

Ok so UK law and a lot of the comments are ignoring UK law is very different to the rest of the world.

Scottish law is different again so I can only give you the English Welsh law.

No fault divorce is most likely the route she'll go down.

Forget about Who did what, that's going to be irrelevant anyway with no fault.

Speak to a family solicitor and clarify everything.

You won't be on the hook for spousal support as we generally don't have that in the UK now, and not since she's working anyway. Women are equal to men, so be grateful for that equality women wanted, she will be forced to work more as the husband is no longer responsible for maintaining the lifestyle of the wife.

Child custody is default 50/50 so go for that, if it's agreed 1 week at each then there won't be child support as that is for the costs of the children and you'll be sharing the costs equally.

You cannot be forced to leave the house so don't, but as parents you're both forced to ensure the children are adequately housed so maintain the home for now.

You will have to accept she is entitled to 50% of the property, because you're married it's a marital asset but she also incurs 50% of the debt, so after sale and debts paid she gets 50% of what's left or you can offer to buy her share and you can negotiate on that.

If you don't get shared custody the amount of child support is 15% gross income for the first, 5% more for the second and another 2% for every additional child but check that as it might have changed.

That would be all you're required to pay and she won't be able to demand more. It's not like in the states where she can sign the kids up for classes and then ask for 1 million a year from you. A court will see what she's doing and tell her she signed them up she pays.

If you never remarried she has a claim over your pension so when you go through the divorce file a clean break, that means she will be totally and forever separated from you financially and regardless of what happens to the two of you in the future she won't be able to come after you for any future money, say you win the lottery for argument sake.

SnooDoughnuts6501 · 2022-11-05T15:58:01+00:00

to question 4: don't move out

No-Blackberry7887 · 2022-11-05T16:04:44+00:00

I wonder why she wants him out so quickly? Hmmm 🤔.

Do some investigating sounds fishy.

captainchippsixx · 2022-11-05T16:41:26+00:00

It takes 2 for marriage not to work. It’s easy way out on your conscience to lay it on you.

You will have to do what you can afford to do. She should plan on working more but my guess is she won’t. It’s tough road.

My advice, and this has been consistent with me and what I have read from other guys. The key to this is your well being at this point. (besides the kids first). Embrace divorce full throttle. Tell her you don’t want to stay married to someone that doesn’t love you. I call it the “fuck it.” So you have to do this. You need to work out and eat better to. Maybe even see a counselor for your self while you can. Get your physical and go to dentist. Put your self in position to be mentally and physically healthy for you and your kids. The kids can’t rely on mom to be supported financially, and she doesn’t w at to either. Call your family and get support. She wants you on a island so she can control the process and demands. It should be a shared plan but this is how it goes.

What this will do: your wife’s actions to this will tell you all you need to know usually. surprisingly it could shock your wife into a reversal. She now doesn’t control it. You are taking control . Say “when do we talk tonthe kids? We should maybe see a counselor for how we talk to kids.” Be very serious about this. “I called my family and gave them the news.” Mind you once you realize you could be happier you might want divorce as well. I would keep going forward unless you guys can work as a team on this. It’s not just you, it’s both of you in this.

Sometimes it could be manipulation to get you to change . Which is bad. Sometimes it’s she already has a plan or someone and the sooner she can mentally separate she can feel good about what she’s doing while married. Just be prepared for the worst.

xadmin1 · 2022-11-05T16:59:06+00:00

She earns 9k working part time? Make her work fulll time then it’s 18k/month. Easy for her to move out. Why wouldn’t she be able to afford the mortgage? You are simping much?

stent00 · 2022-11-05T17:34:32+00:00

First thing open a new bank account and put your pay in it so she can't clean you out.

sicrm · 2022-11-05T20:35:36+00:00

she wants a divorce, she can’t afford the mortgage, so either sell the home or buy her out.

don’t move anywhere.

Awakeningof17 · 2022-11-05T21:17:55+00:00

Sent you a PM.

NowIKnowMyAgencyABCs · 2022-11-05T16:47:26+00:00

Your wife makes $9k a month working part time? I don’t see why she couldn’t afford the 1,100 mortgage

SirDon22 · 2022-11-05T18:22:52+00:00

Don't move out under no circumstances! She can't force you to move out! You can sleep in the separate rooms if necessary. You need to buy time to figure things out. Have you considered marriage counseling as an alternative? Perhaps separation/marriage counseling first before the divorce? Sounds like you can still fix it?

gnackered · 2022-11-06T13:11:46+00:00

In my opinion, sell the house. Your kids will adjust and it is just cleaner.

Title	Wife wants divorce UK (Scotland) - advice needed
Author	throwawayM31SCO
Upvotes	15
Comments	25
Date	November 5, 2022 3:27 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ymx5i2/wife_wants_divorce_uk_scotland_advice_needed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/wife-wants-divorce-uk-scotland-advice-needed.1137986 https://theredarchive.com/post/1137986

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