I’m 28 and my wife is 29. We have been together for 10 years through lots of wild things most other couples would have never made it through. Moving to multiple states. I was a professional musician. To her almost killing herself over her dads divorce. We have no kids which I’m seeing now as a huge bullet we dodged. I think this started when I put a lot of my focus on starting my own business this year and In doing so I didnt always make time for her. I set my own passions and hobbies aside and worked harder then I ever have. We are both avid outdoorsy people and have built a community over the years in the extreme sports that we do. We’ve had the same friend group for years. I have been a little more absent then I probably should have this last year but I had more important things then white water kayaking and didn’t have time for long trips in a sea kayak on the Great Lakes. We have a friends couple who we know well. The guy has a very high IQ and good job and is known for being a loose cannon that people only tolerate. He also looks like the typical nerd. { I’m in very good shape and eat clean} He has not much empathy for anyone else and holds people to standards even he can’t achieve. He also hates his wife who is the only person that can stand him. My wife and a few other friends including Mr Nerd went on this trip. My wife struggling with years of depression and dissatisfaction from whatever makes people sad for no reason day to day only feels alive when she’s putting her life on the line in any kind of extreme sport. I guess they both found mutual ground in this and her being a business women with goals found his high IQ advice to be something magical. He only lives for his 5 weeks vacation a year that he uses on back packing, sea kayaking trips. ( All things that I normally do and come along for). As I’ve said I have been working tirelessly on my new business and have missed about a years worth of trips. My wife comes back from the last one and is cold.. takes a week for me to pull it out of her and she says she has feelings for him.. I laugh because I can’t believe it and I storm out after telling her she has fucked up big time. Our whole community is now side eyeing them both. His little brother is married to her best friend who won’t talk to her. Her best friend Is also her only friend really. Our Mr. Miyagi / Master splinter who holds our kayaking community together and taught us all is basically her father and he thinks she’s gone crazy. Her own mother are her are no longer on talking terms. Mr. Nerd has nobody on his side ether. She claimed nothing has happened physically but how can I trust those words. I’m pretty sure I’m about to get a divorce and I’m just trying to remind myself that I hold the high moral ground. I hold the community support. What do I do next? I need to think a few steps ahead then anyone else so I’m ready for anything.